Rat Race to State House 2007

The leading presidential candidates conveniently put last week's party nomination fiasco behind them by puling no stops in launching their final dash in the state House race. But the political terrain is so bumpy leaving them to cling to hope and Kenya's good manners of forgetting fast and doing their bidding.

President Kibaki must have seen it coming by snubbing a bonding session with PNU nominees at KICC leaving his ever loyal deputy Uncle Moody to soothe the hostile moods of PNU aspirants and losers. And as good leader he only appeared at the right time with the right stuff in hosting a sumptuous lunch at Intercontinental hotel.

Careful not to reopen gaping political wounds, Kibaki steered clear of controversy and even toned down on his earlier directive for a three-piece PNU voting. That is vantage Kenyan politician for you, ready to sup with the devil with eyes singularly trained on the ultimate trophy.

But PNU is not out of the political woods yet. The many fringe parties supporting Kibaki are meeting tomorrow to 'brainstorm' on the impact of Emilio's weekend directive to recognize only PNU nominees. Reading in between the line where no words is printed this amounts to clever blackmail. They are daring the Kibaki to ignore them at his own political peril. Knowing what is at stake your guess on the heat
ahead is as good as mine.

Pawns in the political game
Across the city at Bomas, the juice from hitherto sweet orange proved too bitter for nomination losers. They came to claim glory in loss and alive to the titanic battle with the incumbent ahead, the Pentagon has never been more soft and reconciliatory.

Beneath all this mad race to rule and not lead us lies the true colour of our leaders. They lie with straight face and will stop at nothing to cheat their way into our hearts and power.

Desperate times calls for desperate measures. Now madam Ngilu can afford to let the cat roam out of the political bag by broadcasting to all and sundry that she kept Narc party in her bag to wade off Kibaki and ''save Kenya'. That is EXPEDIENCY per excellence.

But wait a minute. Who is fooling who here? Picture this. Kibaki wins the presidency and Kanu wins most seats, who becomes the Official opposition? Or worse still, Raila wins and a Ngilu also coasts with a sizable number of Narc MPs out of the 78 who sought political solace in her outfit after losing the nominations.

Scoundrels per excellence
The tenth parliamentary may be just as chaotic if not more selfish than their discredited and shameless ninth counterparts. The only constant in all this political dynamics is that we as Kenyans have accepted to remain pawns in the political games played out by these scoundrels for politicians.

In a nutshell we are inevitably staring in the face another 5 years of whining and more political motions with no commensurate movement. Welcome to Kenyans brand of politics. Na bado.

Kenya's Legal Killing Fields

Oscar Foundation Free Legal Aid Clinic-Kenya has confronted the Government with researched and gory detail on the massacre of 8040 Kenyans during the operation to wipe out Mungiki. And to make matters worse, the group adds that a further 4,070 people had gone missing as security forces tried to wipe out the Mungiki sect.

Whatever the case, killing that many Kenyans for whatever reason is a massacre by any other name. And given the explosive emotions accompanying such events one can safely bet that our Government is deluding herself in bottling a time bomb waiting to explode.

No form of extrajudicial killing is warranted in any civilized society. The Mungiki menace is one thing fertilized by our scoundrel es for politicians. Add to this the fuel of corruption in the police force and inept judicial system then you get a lethal recipe for chaos.

The next 3+ weeks will see the demand of these gangs skyrocket as politician seek to sort their opponents out. And such is the unwitting watering of the cancer that will outgrow its funders and take us hostage to their murderous ways thereafter. Speak of sharpening the spear only to end up having its nice sharp blades kissing your skull. Are we steadily grinding into a country at war with itself?

890 Begin Mad Race to (Mis)lead Kenya

With almost 1000 Kenyans queueing to join the club of waheshimiwa, the big battle and race to next month's elections being in earnest. With only 210 seats vacant, the next 30+ days will witness political heat like never seen before in Kenya's history.

The galaxy of contestants all have their eyes singularly trained on the trophy of goods besides the hefty pay cheque. And this is the time our collective conscience and efforts are auctioned at the altar of sectarianism and pettiness.

The obscene number of aspirants with a poor province like Coast having well over 200 only goes ahead to betray the predictable poor quality winners. The price surely negates the high stakes. True, a part from religion only politics flourishes in Kenya with no correlation to economic depression. So let enterprising Kenyans cash in.

Moreover you cannot blame Kenyans either because they can only afford to make hay when it is still shinning because the sun will disappear only to reappear with same lies in 2012. In the process the highest bidder takes our national soul in his/her pocket and either chose to resuscitate it or kill it within 5 years.

Different acts, same script
Painfully the few faces that embody our hopes have no chance in hell to make it anywhere near the podium come December 27. The KJ's of this world cannot stand the tide that sweeps anybody with shallow pockets and no tribal goons nor mouths for hire.

The shameful 9th parliament selfishly and unwittingly placed political noose around their necks by coating their seats with honey which political bees have found irresistible. In the face all aspirants it amounts to acting differently but the script and objective is the same.

If only wishes were horses, how I pray these madness came and passed as fast a bad dream. Well, this a true necessary and legal devil we have to entertain. Na bado.

You Can Have Your Cake And Eat It

A new study by medical researchers in the US suggests that being overweight might actually be beneficial for health. In its latest edition, the Journal of American Medical Association states that modestly overweight people demonstrated a lower death rate than their peers who are underweight, obese or normal weight

Quite an interesting study from the modern day land of milk and honey-I am sure the Americans are aware that what appears to be on the surface quite a legitimate piece of scientific work and study will be shrunk and beaten down to down to propaganda for the sake of cultural EXPEDIENCY-some countries are more equal than others, and what is good for Goose is not necesarily good for the Gander

Here again there is a lesson for the Kenyan voters-why does everyone keep complaining about how terrible politicians are when we always keep voting them or someone like them back in time and again? The only conclusion must be that they are not all THAT bad-kiboko yao, we love and hate at the same time the type of leadership they offer us and yet we cannot imagine living life without them

Poor Kenyans-we want wrong people to lead us without bad consequences, the snake charmer to entrance us without rattling the very snake that can bite us

did anyone just hear one HUGE collective sigh of relief coming from Uncle Sam across the Atlantic?

Kazi Hakuendelea na Howard

Australians have just shown their PM the door after 11 years in office. And true to calamities coming in droves Bw. Howard is headed to losing the parliamentary seat he has held for the last 33 years. Just permute names and you get familiar message back home in Kenya.

Mr Howard campaigned on his record of sound economic management - aka kazi iendelee. But Aussies had other designs and because power intoxicates Howard refused to read sign of the times after training in the pools the whole year.

Poor Howard! But he can at least afford a plastic smile in DEFEAT. Can it dignity or any positive trait but right inside the chap is on fire. The problem with leaders is NOT KNOWING WHEN TO QUIT.

The new Australian PM Rudd saw it and ran on new leadership platform. If only we had such a pool of quality to replace our scoundrels. We only have hope as the singular asset in our possession. We cannot afford to lose it lest we inadvertently action our souls and motherland too. Kenya ni yetu.

Garden Tools in Government Vehicles.

By releasing the previously impounded GK vehicle, laden with assorted crude weapons stashed in sacks, Kibakis’ administration is intimating that his water assistant minister is indeed a multi-billionaire farmer requiring an inordinate number of bodyguards armed with heavy rungus…. capable of inflicting high doses of pain on anyone threatening the person of the honorable MP. Apparently, it is also planting season at Wanjalas’ expansive farm; thus the need for very many sharp pangas for clearing the huge tracts of land; the tougher bushes will be cut by the never disappointing Somali swords. It is not clear what the whips will be used for, but since they were at the discounted sale price at Nakumatt, why not indulge?

The question is, as posed by my lawyer friend, what crime has been committed? At what point does a panga, in government protected transit, become anything more than a common garden tool? Is this a simple case of misuse of public property i.e. use of the GK vehicle in the transportation of government unrelated garden tools? Does innocent until proven guilty apply here?….considering the fact that if any harm is to be unleashed upon hapless villagers, it must be before Dec 27th.

It is fact that a stone becomes a weapon when it is speeding towards the head of a soon to be victim of a very bad and excruciating headache. That said, who’s more of a criminal?, the stone hurling PNU sympathizer in Juja constituency or the government minister destined to posses in his arsenal, shiny and crisp unused pangas…among other assorted garden tools.

Folks, whereas the outrage?

Eto the Pride of Africa

Africa's great philosopher Franz Fannon must be ashamed in his grave for thinking that Africa's map represents a question mark. Despite her many warts the epic of world's beautiful game is coming to Africa in two year's time.

And what a masterpiece to see Cameroon/Barcelona's Samuel Eto's face angled to represent the face of world cup coming to SA in 2010? That is native pride at its purest if you ask me. But are Kenyans doing anything to reap in the forthcoming windfall? Ama we are dreaming, sleeping and eating raw politics?

Steadman Polls: Raila & Kibaki In Tight Race

Steadman Opinon Poll Results 23 Nov 2007: Is Kenya headed for a run-off?

Raila Odinga: 43.6%
Mwai Kibaki: 43.3%
Kalonzo Musyoka: 11.4%
Pastor Pius Muiru: 0.1%
Kenneth S.N. Matiba 0.2%

The research was done between 17 and 19 November 2007 and involved 2,709 in all the eight provinces of Kenya.

Raila Odinga was earlier today asked to comment on these results but he retorted that he is not worried about Kibaki's improved rating because he is confident that "the people are with him".

The last few weeks has more of PNU campaigns and publicity activities that that of ODM. The latter is due to start its homestretch campaigns from this Monday and have already coined a campaign them " Real Change for all Kenyans".

Just a thought; if Kalonzo was to drop his bid and support Kibaki, while Matiba goes ahead and endorses Raila; who will emerge the winner?

Latest News: LIVONDO FAILS ECK LANGUAGE PROFICIENCY TEST

The ECK last evening declined to accept Mr. Stanley Livondo's Direct Nomination for Lang'ata Constituency by PNU after he failed to pass the Language Proficiency Test given by ECK last week.

The flamboyant rookie politician who only a month ago was arrested on murder suspicions after the fatal shooting of a youth during a public meeting he had attended in Western Kenya is said to have dropped out of school at Standard Six and can hardly construct an English or Kiswahili sentence let alone pronounce words like "Categorically" and "Ashamedly".

Unknown to Livondo , Kenya 's electoral rules require that Parliamentary candidates pass Oral & Written Language Proficiency Test. Earlier today thousands of PNU supporters from Central Kenya were reportedly disenfranchised after the ECK declared that 20,000 newly registered voters in Lang'ata had committed electoral fraud by double registering.

"I Sdanley Lifondo teclare here totay my inderest in te seat for te memper of barliamend for Kibera. I plech to remufu one Raila Otinga from his currendi stanting as MB in tis gonstichuensy."

Members of the Press had to remind Mr. Livondo that the constituency is called Langata,and not Kibera. More reports filtering in indicate that Stanley Livondo attempted to have the ECK approve his candidature on the strength of marks he scored in an English Composition that he wrote while in standard six at Bukhungu Tay & Poarding Primary School .

Mr. Livondo is set to hold a press conference later today at Inzogu Bar & Restaurant where it is rumoured that he will use the opportunity to showcase his Standard Six Composition and accuse his main opponent of "Priping" the ECK even as he moves to "tuck" the "ECK Pullet".

This did not surprise me at all when I received the news via email, am waiting to see if ECK rules will be bent in his case.

Election Violence Weapons Found In Assistant Minister’s Car

Kenyans voters are still numb with shock even as they seek answers from a very bizarre incident that took place late last night.

Acting on a tip off police did what they would usually not do. They stopped an Assistant Minister’s official GK vehicle and searched it. It is what they found inside that has shocked the nation. There was an assortment of crude weapons including Pangas, whips and arrows. Dozens of them. Eye witnesses say that there were slightly over 200 whips!!

Reports indicate that suspicious Nakumatt Supermarket staff (where some of the crude weapons were purchased) were suspicious and quickly tipped off the police who swung into action.

The vehicle and assorted crude weapons are detained at a Nakuru police station. The government (GK number plates) vehicle was headed for Western Kenya at the time the police made their shocking discovery. The vehicle belongs to assistant minister for Water Raphael Wanjala of the PNU party. Mr Wanjala is the immediate former MP for the floods prone Bundalangi constituency.

There are numerous questions that beg for answers...

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The 5 most popular stories in Kumekucha today

1. Was that really Raila Odinga on NTV?

2. Missed opportunity by PNU to bury ODM

3. Big fat Kenyan politicians: They just don't get it do they?

4. Kenyan couple trying to shut down Kumekucha

5. Why Kumekucha is glad to belong to the lower class.

January 2008 Assuming That PNU Win The Elections…

It is January 2008 and President Kibaki having just won a very closely contested general elections, disappears back into the inner rooms of State House where he was hidden prior to the hectic campaigns of late last year.

President Kibaki is of course the first president of Kenya to live in State House, Nairobi as well as work from there. The last ruler of the land to do so was in fact the last representative of the Queen shortly before Kenya gained her independence in 1963, governor Malom McDonald. Kenyatta preferred his Gatundu home and important cabinet meetings were even held there. Like the crisis meeting that planned Tom Mboya’s funeral shortly after his assassination in July 1969.

President Moi would also always retire to Kabarnet gardens off Ngong road at the end of hard day of work at State House Nairobi.

So as he starts his second and final term, it is work as usual for the aging president whose slogan Kazi inedelee lifted him to victory. And even at this early juncture of the second Kibaki administration, it is not too difficult to guess what should be expected.

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The 5 most popular stories in Kumekucha today

1. Was that really Raila Odinga on NTV?

2. Missed opportunity by PNU to bury ODM

3. Big fat Kenyan politicians: They just don't get it do they?

4. Kenyan couple trying to shut down Kumekucha

5. Why Kumekucha is glad to belong to the lower class.

Statement From Marianne Briner Concerning Kenya Betrayed Controversy

I am writing today to XLibris and inform them about the fact that I never agreed that the contract with them was cancelled - and I will also tell them that Sam has cheated me for the royalties ......I will also ask them to give me the exact numbers of copies they have delivered - including the socalled author's copies which Sam has then sold directly.

I told you yesterday that he is now throwing the Shining Star into the market for $ 5.99 via Amazon etc. - taking into consideration that companies like Amazon are getting between 50 - 60 % commission - this reduces the price for which Sahel Publishers are giving the book to them to $ 2.50 - 3,00 - deducting the printing costs, there is not much left ....... so Sam would not have to pay me - even if he would still make 1 $ per book he would have to pay me 50 cents ....... or nothing ..........

Some people may call this clever - I simply call it criminal cheating - because he is offering his other books for 21.00 $ - books which are just simple cheap love stories without any impact .........

If Sahel Books claims now to have the copyright on the Shining Star - this is not correct: the Copyright is registered separate in my name and in Sam's name - this makes us both independent owners - the agreement I had signed says that we decide 'mutually and also share the royalties' ....... this agreement is not valid anymore since they have cancelled it when they unilateral took the book away from XLibris and started selling it under their own name without my approval ...... besides the fact that they kept all the royalties from day one ...... so if they reserve the right to continue publishing the Shining Star, I can also publish Kenya Betrayed which as you rightly stated, is my own story told in my own words in an uncensored way contrary to the Shining Star which was - on Sam's insistence - as a fiction using false names and also changing details and leaving out information which could 'endanger' his return to Kenya .....

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Ask What You Can Do For Your Country

What's in a name?The guards at Guardian Bank Kisumu literally lived up to both the name of their bank and title of their job description when they apprehended an obviously disgruntled employee who attempted to walk out of his employers with Ksh 10 million out of Ksh 14.75 million
When asked why he stole the money and what he had planned to do with it had he not been caught, the dishonest former worker replied that he had been on his way to Safari Park Hotel (see Taabu's post below for more detail)

One Vote for Ksh 1 Million

Finally the 1 million a plate lunch came to pass at Safari Park Hotel this afternoon. While it is a practice the world over to raise campaign funds, one is left wondering who is fooling whom when Isaiah Kabira categorically denies the same.

According to Bw Kabira you need to pay Ksh. 1 million upfront to attend the launch of President Kibaki's campaign website. Even the goof-prone Mutua can spin better than that.

Meanwhile Kenyans continues to threaten Brazil for the number one global trophy for the most unequal country.

Dead English Football Finally Buried, Coach Fired

The charade that has become English football ended in tears last night when they were sensationally beaten at home by Croatia 3-2. And domino effect of that painful show has seen manager Steve McClaren fired this morning.

Poor Steve, he must have seen it coming after gambling with his neck already well laid on the chopping block well before the whistle. By optin for green horn keeper Carson instead of experience (albeit off form) Robinson, McClaren paid the ultimate price.

And the Aston Villa goal keeper Carson did nothing to prove a point besides helping the Croatians score in the 8th minute. By halftime England was down 2-0. It couldn't get any gloomier for the proud English.

Boos and jeers at the breather saw him bring in Beckham whose experience salvaged the game albeit temporarily. You never dodge the noose three times. England only needed a draw to qualify. After loosing to the Russians in Moscow early this month they were as good as down and out.

But then Israel gave them a lifeline last Saturday by beating the Russians 2-1 in Telaviv. England now had the opportunity once again even to top the group if they were to beat Croatia 2-0. Lakini wapi. Pride comes before a fall and since missing out in the 1994 world cup in the US they have to wait to see if they will qualify for 2010 world cup in South Africa.

The saving grace in this misplaced pride is the fact that at least out there people take repsonsibility for their failure unlike ours where shame is a word left to rot in the dictionary.

Bookies and pundits are already rooting for Jose Mourinho to take England places. But whether Jose's strong character will be compatible with obtuse English pride that borders on arrogance, only time will tell.

Was That Really Raila Odinga On NTV Spotlight?

Supporters of ODM presidential candidate Raila Odinga are still in shock after watching a man who appeared to be the candidate being interviewed on the popular NTV “On The Spot” TV show yesterday.

The man stammered, looked tired and almost withdrawn and was a far cry from the usual Raila Odinga that Kenyans have gotten used to.

Further enquiries by this blogger revealed that the NTV performance was not the only time that supporters of the man have gotten worried. In an address to ODM supporters in South Africa a few weeks ago, a source tells me that those who attended the meeting were surprised and disappointed that the man just repeated himself and did not say anything new or relevant to the particular function.

Clearly all is not well with the ODM presidential candidate.

One theory puts it down to the extreme pressure the presidential candidate has been putting himself under in recent times. Kenyans have seen Raila arrive from an overseas trip during the day, only to realize during the 9 pm TV new bulletin that he also made it to a political rally in some far flung area of the country. It seems that this kind of pressure is finally taking its’ toll on the presidential candidate. Experts advice that he should be careful to take enough rest and to limit his public engagements from now on.

Interestingly the Nation On the Spot series to discuss the various party manifestos are being held in the residence of the candidates and...

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5 Most Popular Stories in Kumekucha today- Nov 21st

1. Why Kumekucha is glad to belong to the lower class

2. Big fat Kenyan politicians: They just don't get it, do they?

3. Herdsman kills lion but dies in the hands of hyenas

4. Missed opportunity by PNU to bury ODM

5. ODM ad that no Kenyan media house will touch

Kenyan Couple Trying To Shut Down Kumekucha

It seems that the enemies of Kumekucha will not rest and now, if a Kenyan couple living in the United States have their way, Kumekucha your beloved blog could soon be no more.

Sam Okello and his wife, Hellen have already successfully shut down 3 blogs belonging to Marianne Briner. Now they have filed a serious legal complaint against Kumekucha whom they accuse of carrying copyrighted material in the Kenya Betrayed serialization that we have been posting here. The couple is claiming that the Kenya Betrayed script was penned by them and has filed a complaint under the Digital Millennium Copyright Act, leaving Google with no alternative but to disable the affected pages. If the complaints from the Okellos persist, there is a high chance that Kumekucha could be shut down for good.


I agonized long and hard whether or not to carry this photo. In the end I decided that it is best that there is no mistake over the identity of those being used to try and fix Kumekucha-the people's blog. Sam Okello is seated and his wife Hellen is standing. Just the way it is in the Sahel Publishing board.

The motive of the couple and especially Hellen Okello who makes all the major decisions in the couple’s publishing venture Sahel publishing, is not clear. To start with Kenya Betrayed is clearly written in the English with strong German connotation that quite obviously belongs to Marianne Briner (as anybody can tell from her numerous writings online). Briner is the same copyright owner of another similar work called A Shining Star In Darkness. She simply hired Sam Okello as her ghost writer for the earlier book detailing her experiences with the high and mighty in Kenya. Obviously the Okellos have no chance of winning this case in any court on earth because of a number of very obvious reasons including the fact that even if there was a dispute over A Shining Star In Darkness Kenya Betrayed is a totally new work penned by Brinner herself, using real names and including totally new sizzling material which Sam Okello was too frightened to use in his earlier ghost-written version of the events that used fictional names, A Shining Star In Darkness.

Still one does not need to be a rocket scientist to figure out where the Okello’s real power and motivation could be coming from. Most of those mentioned in Kenya Betrayed are very powerful politicians in Kenya and are extremely upset that a lot of the information in the book is now in the public domain. More so when the person telling the story is extremely credible based on her past involvement with the characters. And to make matters worse, all this is happening during an election year when these people have such a huge stake pegged on the outcome. The characters in question featured prominently in the infamous Kroll report and have huge sums of stolen public money stashed away in Swiss accounts and elsewhere and obviously have no qualms spending some of it in legal circuses that could drag on for years to come while Kenyans are kept in the dark about the true character of those who have led them in the past as well as injustices that have taken place in Kenya.

Sam Okello has repeatedly indicated interest in returning to Kenya to stand for the presidency in the near future. He has been hoping that the popularity of his books will push him into public prominence to enable him launch his political career. Now it seems that he may also have figured out a way to raise funds for his future political campaigns at the expense of the same Kenyan people he hopes will elect him to State House one day.

Further investigations by this blogger has revealed other bizarre activities the Okellos have been involved in while in the United States which make fascinating reading and give a glimpse into the kind of characters we are dealing with here. I am in the process of verifying and getting further concrete and water tight proof of this and when I do I will publish all the juicy details here in the days to come.

Let me say at this juncture that I did not start Kumekucha with my personal needs in mind, rather this blog is a labour of love for the millions of voiceless downtrodden Kenyans who continue to be short-changed by the political class. I continue to make great sacrifices (financial and even on my personal security) to keep this blog going. If it was for personal gain then I would have already been a very wealthy man. Hundreds of thousands of Kenyans scattered all over the world have sensed this motivation in the posts they read here and it is the reason why they have given this infant blog so much support, so suddenly.

And that’s why I will fight this latest threat with everything that I have.

I beg for your support.


5 Most Popular Stories in Kumekucha today- Nov 21st

1. Why Kumekucha is glad to belong to the lower class

2. Big fat Kenyan politicians: They just don't get it, do they?

3. Herdsman kills lion but dies in the hands of hyenas

4. Missed opportunity by PNU to bury ODM

5. ODM ad that no Kenyan media house will touch

Herdsman Kills Lion, Killed by Hyenas

That a Samburu herdsman has been killed by a pack of predating hyenas just after killing a lion with bear hands reflects the contradictory phenomenon of life. 35 year old Moses Lekalau fought off an attacking lion for 30 minutes and succeeded in killing the beast only to be attacked by cowardly hyenas who must have sensed the vulnerability of exhausted Lekalau.


Despite a motorist rescuing Lekalau from the jaws of the death (hyenas), the poor chap died after 7 hours on the operating table in Nairobi where he was transferred from excessive loss of blood.

That is just one life too many. If only we would value human life like the money tourists bring. But that is asking for too much because there are Kenyans and others. Life can be be so CRUEL sometimes.

What a strange twist and paradox life is. You fight gallantly for 30 minutes spearing and bludgeoning a lion to death. only to lose the very life you were saving to lesser selfish predators. Lekalau's death is akin to stopping a bullet dead on its track only to succumb to a scratch from a needle.

Kenyan Mouths for Rent to the Highest Bidders

Trust ingenious Kenyans to smell monetary opportunities miles away. In attempt to beat politicians in their own game creative Kenyans have formed organized heckling clubs for hire.

The mouths for hire couldn't have come at an appropriate time given the soaring political temperatures. After the preamble in the fiasco that was nominations, trust our scoundrels to take the game a notch higher by perfecting dirty tricks. At the coast the hecklers are ready with drums and trumpets at the right fee.

Before you dismiss them just take an honest look at most Kenyans and see the negligible difference between their form of clothed (elite) political scare mongering and these rag tag goons. It takes no nuclear physicist to see what these goons will graduate to when need arises as December 27 beckons. Brace yourself for interesting and trying moments these coming 4 weeks.

The selfish opening between the chin and the nose has never been put to a better use. No wonder all other part of the body belongs to the mouth. "Don't step on my toes", as if the lower limbs belong to the mouth! Na bado.

Big Fat Kenyan Politicians: They Just Don’t Get It, Do They?

Although none of them will admit it, all major political parties are in a crisis of sorts after the recent fiasco that some of them are calling party nominations.

What everybody is missing is the reason for the crisis in the first place. Before I go into that it is important for Kenyans to note that this is not a petty issue that can just be brushed aside. After all these are the same politicians promising us all sorts of goodies and the word “change” which we all crave for is on all their lips. But we need to ask ourselves a simple question. If these guys were not able to foresee the nomination crisis that was so obvious and forestall it, how the hell do we expect them to lead us with the increasing problems that we are facing as a nation? Chew on that one.

The reasons for the current nomination crisis include the following;

i) Contempt of voters by leaders of political parties and especially presidential candidates who do not want to respect the will of the people. Don’t even dare mention the word democracy.

ii) A determination by incumbent MPs to hang on to their political seats at all costs. The huge sums of money they have fleeced from tax payers in the last 5 years has blinded them to believing that they can fool the people and get back to parliament. These guys will do anything and I mean anything. Including murder, violence rigging, cheating bribing, witchcraft etc. These guys who have been a major thorn in the flesh to Kenyans over the last 5 years will not go quietly and are still a major pain (you know where) even as we go to the polls.

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The 5 most popular stories on Kumekucha today-20th Nov

Why Kumekucha Is Glad To Belong To The Lower Class

I take this opportunity to humbly thank all of you who came out in my defense over the recent venomous comment left in this blog by somebody whom I believe is an old school mate whom I know very well. I am only puzzled at their possible motives in leaving the comment which most of you hit out at.

To be honest I am shocked that some Kenyans still think in terms of the class they belong to. However I am delighted to discover that I belong to the lower class. No wonder I seem to understand the masses so well.

I am very touched by your strong support and faith in me. Let me also say that I am following to the letter, the excellent advice given to me by most of you that I simply ignore the “sour grapes” and continue with my work, which many of you seem to appreciate. Ahsante sana.

So the aim of this post is not to go back to where I have said I will not go. It is to highlight an interesting truth that has emerged from the whole incident.

The main point I want to draw Kenyans attention to is...

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Party Nominations: Old Tricks Fail To Work

The old tricks that worked like a gem during the 2002 party nominations have this time failed to work.

Let me explain. In 2002 the Summit as it was then called made unilateral decisions and over-ruled the voters concerning various candidates who had lost party nominations countrywide and instead ended up handing over the precious nomination certificate to many losers. Many folks did not even know what the real nomination outcome had been in many areas of the country.

This time round things were very different. Voters have just said “No” and have complained bitterly. Using technological gadgets like the mobile phone and instant messaging online, as well as email, most Kenyans were very well informed on what was going on on the ground. What most people noticed was that those who had emerged as winners on the ground were often the losers when party headquarters released the names of nominated candidates to the press.

In some areas voters have been very incensed by what they see as a deliberate effort to impose candidates on them. Impeccable sources from the ground tell me that a significant number of voters in Kisumu rural have vowed not to vote in the general elections as a way of protesting the direct nomination of Prof Anyang Nyong. While these threats may quickly be forgotten when the campaign gets under way, it is clear...

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The 5 most popular stories in Kumekucha today 19th Nov

The Making Of A Nation: Strengths And Weaknesses Of Nation Historical Series

There is no doubt that the historical documentary The Making Of A Nation is a high quality timely project that is pulling in huge audiences across the world (because NTV is available on the web).

After the first two episodes on Sunday and today (Monday) at 9:45pm, we will have to wait until next Sunday for the next riveting episode.

The writer and director of the documentary, Hilary Ng’weno is a nuclear physicist turned journalist who was the first African Editor in Chief of the Daily Nation in the early 60s. The kind of man who not only understands Kenya’s history but unlike Kumekucha was actually around practicing as a journalist as the events were unfolding.

This strength comes out very clearly in his coverage of events shortly after independence where today the documentary dwelt at length with the effect that instability in neighboring countries had on President Kenyatta and most notably in hardening his resolve to fully control the military and key security forces by appointing mostly trusted members of his own tribe...

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The 5 most popular stories in Kumekucha today 19th Nov

The End of English Empire is Here

In the global arena of language wars, the English dialect has been dealt a severe blow albeit cleverly. In 5 years time the formal English spoken will be nowhere near what we know it presently. Forget about the Queen's English, the language in its bare facts will be history.

To stem the competition between the Germans and Britons, the European Commission has silently but skillfully sounded a death knell for the English language by announcing that English will be the official language of the European Union. Germans are red with fury after narrowly missed out.

But there is no free lunch as the Brits had to pay a price is concessions. During negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

From January 2011, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly this will make European sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

By Januarry 2013, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer pepl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und after zis fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German; lik zey vunted in ze forst plas.

Coffee Anyone?

Sasini tea and coffee company of the Sameer family group of companies founded by successful tycoon and business entrepreneur Naushad Merali is launching a bold and daring venture into not just the less crowded but nascent competitive local market but also the more crowded and equally competitive big boy league international beverage consumption market with the launch of its inaugral Kenyan branded Savannah coffee lounges in Nairobi first, followed by Dubai and London
And they are not thinking microscopic either-according to none other than the son of Merali himself who is one of the directors of the Kenyan company, by this foray the company is signalling its global intention to market brand Kenya to the rest of the world
hear him speak "we do not have to sell Kenya abroad; the problem is that Kenyans are not taking advantage of the existing awareness and goodwill about Kenyan produce"
I hold no brief for Merali or his Sameer group of companies but what a fresh change of direction displayed in straight thinking by a company that like many many other Kenyan businesses both well established and emerging are now beginning to move away from old school thinking that an investor is anyone foreign with skin colour to match and increasingly beginning to realize we can't market Kenya to anyone if we at home fail to be attracted by the quality of the made in Kenya brand
Its true that for many years, lack of inspiring political direction made us consider both ourselves and our country as a brand unable to equal international standards in quality and rank; it seems we build better roads only when the people for whom they are being built promise to come from across the Atlantic to throw some scraps of employment our way. Otherwise what need does Onyango or Wambui have for thousands of square kilometres of paved and tarmacked asphalt on the highway?
Even more than politics, we badly require an attitude change amongst us so that our thinking will come in line with national (not ethnic) values and not revert back to revelling in nostalgia and gaining fame and notoriety for all the wrong shameful reasons-corruption, tribalism, comical political leadership and the stigma attached to all of these deadly sins. There is a lesson hidden somewhere there for our politicians and the new administration of Government come 2008. new thinking, new direction, no excuses
I wish Savannah coffee lounges all the best success in marketing brand Kenya-look out for a local Savannah lounge coming to a city near you
Kenya iendelee mbele!

IT'S INTEGRITY NOT THE ECONOMY STUPID

Lady Luck Smiles to Save England's Head

That the English team had to pray for an Israel win over Russia to keep their qualification of Euro 2008 alive is a contradiction in large proportion. And lady luck surely smiled on their face with Israel pulling a surprise 2-1 win to sink the Russians yesterday.

Looking up to the gods to gain qualification for next year's European Premier football bonanza betrayed the lack of quality in English players despite the boom and publicity generated by the Premier League. Take out the foreign players and the English football will be left yawning for any spark.

One would mistake the strong 4000 (proud) English supporters cheering Israel in Tel-a-Viv for some Jews from West Bank or Jerusalem. So it appears even the obtuse pride can be auctioned at the right price.

Pride on auction
Football spares no room for pride. Team England has been full of of contempt assuming that their qualification was as good as guaranteed given the 'weak' opponents in their group. But alas! Croatia is heading the group and already qualified. They also appear to have been inflicted with that misplaced pride if losing 2-0 to the unrated Macedonia yesterday is anything to go by.

Not that England are out of the woods yet. They have to at least draw with Croatia on Wednesday at Wembley. And with their over-rated stars missing with injuries anything can happen and the Russians must be holding vigil in their churches. Joining Rooney is the football 'wards' is Michael Owen. That leaves Peter Crouch to lead the onslaught upfront.

Owen's injury is definitely England' self-inflicted malady. Knowing very well that the striker is always an accident waiting to happen, Steve MacClaren goofed large scale in taxing his charges against the colourless and useless fixture with Austria.

Add to that loss of form from the aging Beckham and you get a pack of 11 donning 3 lions with St. George's flag chasing a piece of leather bereft of any entertainment nor quality to match the media hype.

Punishing bullies
It may not be wild to imagine that nature is teaching lessons to bully boys on both sides of the Atlantic. What with the the land of opportunity losing its sheen and influence in the global arena in terms of FREEDOM (after 9/11) and innovation? Just look at all the major technological breakthrough always emerging from Seoul.

It may either be crunch time and a time for re-evaluation of values and pride or just mother nature is simply paying the big boys (bullies) in their own coin.

A Missed Opportunity By PNU To Bury ODM

There is no doubt that the popularity of ODM and Raila Odinga has slipped significantly over the last few weeks. One of the reasons for this has been what started out clearly as mere propaganda over the Internet to the effect that Raila had signed a secret MOU with Muslim leaders in Kenya to introduce Sharia law into the Coast and North Eastern province Jimbos shortly after the introduction of the majimbo system of governance as proposed by ODM.

It was a ridiculous claim that many readers here quite rightly dismissed. However, one thing led to another and very soon Raila found himself under considerable pressure to reveal the details of his alleged MOU with the Muslims. He actually put more pressure on himself than was necessary by initially denying the existence of any such agreement. He later changed his mind and admitted that an agreement of sorts had been reached between himself and the Muslims, Coming so soon after the famous Kadhi courts battle in the proposed Bomas draft between Christians and Muslims in Kenya, the issue has caused considerable anxiety amongst Christians all over the country and this has without doubt considerably reduced the momentum in the Raila presidential campaign. Several polls have clearly shown his popularity slipping.

It is quite likely that the hiring of the controversial Dick Morris (a gifted but controversial pollster who former President Clinton talks of very highly of in his biography—My Life.) was one of the measures taken by Raila’s handlers to try and reverse the situation. It really isn’t a crisis yet but in politics...

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New Must-See Series On NTV

Since it is quite clear that most of my dear readers here were terrorized so much by their history teachers that the mere mention of the word “history” triggers a fit and causes them to start foaming in the mouth re-living a terrible horror movie, I believe that the new series on NTV on the political history of Kenya may prove very useful. The documentary is titled aptly; The making of a nation.

Documentaries are certainly much easier to take in than large volumes of books like the several hundred pages of Tom Mboya: The Man Kenya Wanted To Forget that I usually recommend for anybody who wants to understand Kenyan politics.

The series which seems to have been done by Hilary Ngweno (of the defunct Weekly Review fame) starts tonight at 9:45 pm (Kenyan time) and will be shown on Sundays and Mondays.

It pleases my heart that so many Kenyans based all over the world will now get to learn a little more about our country’s history since NTV is now available on the web. The truth is that you can’t really discuss the present and future without a pretty good understanding of the past.

Angry Voters Fell Giants In Chaotic Party Nominations

As we said months ago, most politicians will in the forthcoming elections be faced by a phenomenon never before experienced in Kenyan politics—namely that of very angry voters.

Kenyan voters are mostly very angry at legislators in the 9th parliament and are determined to teach them a lesson by voting most of them out.

If the party nominations are anything to go by then, it will be a lot uglier than even we had envisaged. Sample some of the giants who have already fallen in party nominations so far;

- David Mwenje lost the PNU nomination in Embakasi
- Norman Nyagah lost the PNU nomination in Kamukunji (hardly surprising).
- Chris Murungaru lost the PNU nomination in Kieni (big shock for the once powerful minister and still a close Kibaki ally).
- Nobel peace prize laureate, Wangari Maathai lost her bid for the PNU ticket in Tetu
- Matere Keriri (aka Dawa ya Lucy) and Joseph Kamotho also lost PNU nominations in their respective constituencies.
- John Koech the cabinet minister who defected from Kanu to ODM has, as expected lost his bid for the ODM ticket in Chepalungu.

The big surprise, at least for this blogger is Otieno “Mapambano choir master” Kajwang’s surprise win in Mbita in the face of very stiff competition. Still I have this feeling that most of the losers will have something to say.

The 5 Most Popular stories in Kumekucha today-17th Nov

1. Kumekucha's old schoolmate mounts scathing attack against him

2. What impact will Kenneth Matiba's entry into Presidential race have?

3. ODM adverts that Kenyan media will not touch

4. Regular violent wife rape by dutiful husband

5. True Kenyan story of rape nightmare in Matatu

Will ODM-Kenya Be The Surprise Party Of The 2007 General Elections?

Long before the elections we discussed an interesting strategy that KANU was putting in place then that would position the party perfectly to receive the inevitable fall out from the nominations.

Well Kanu bigwigs changed their minds and threw in their lot with incumbent Mwai Kibaki, but their strategy now seems to have been taken up by Hoo Ndii Emm.

Details are still emerging but ODM-K top officials have been busy today receiving defectors from both sides of the divide.

Actually this puts the party in a stronger position than most people may realize. It means that the party has a good chance of spreading its’ tentacles into both PNU and ODM strongholds. The end result is that this party of all parties will end up with the most nationalistic outlook of all 3 major political parties. From my quick projections it could also mean that ODM-K will end up with the second largest number of seats in the 10th parliament.

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Quick Quiz: Do You Know Where William Kabogo Lives?

During my brief absence, one very interesting piece of information I came across concerns controversial immediate former Juja legislator William Kabogo. I always thought that the guy lives somewhere near Thika or at the very least in Nairobi.

Actually he lives in Mombasa in a palatial house that I saw hidden deep in the leafy Nyali suburb. The house is right next to a bush that was cleared for his helicopter to be landing as he returns almost daily to his “palace”. A neighbor tells me that the helicopter has not landed in the bush for quite a while and the cleared vegetation has started growing again, and so nobody seems to know where it lands these days. But Kabogo still lives in the huge imposing house and is regularly seen in a car coming and going.

Neighbours inform me that the house was a spectacle to watch when it was being constructed. Kabogo would quite often order entire walls to be demolished and re-constructed and it seems that he continued to design his house and make adjustments even as construction was going on.

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Apology

My posts today have been made very late and I have kept thousands of my readers on edge and impatient. My deep and sincere apologies. I am having some technical problems related to making posts in this blog which I hope I will rectify in the next few hours.

Meanwhile have a wonderful day free of anxiety.

Enjoy

What Impact Will The Entry Of Kenneth Matiba Have?

Kenneth Njindo Matiba has made a surprise entrance into the presidential race. He turned up seemingly from nowhere and presnted his papers, yesterday.

Interestingly this heroic freedom fighter who paid for his fight for democracy dearly when his detention witthout trial by the Moi government resulted in stroke that almost killed him, can’t read and neither can he sign documents. So the question arises, if he was elected president what would happen? Who would sign those important and highly confidential documents? Who would read those equally confidential reports for him?

In my view the contributions made by Matiba in the fight for democracy is so big that he deserved to be treated better. If for no other reason then at least because of the rather devastating consequences that he has to live with for the rest of his life. But alas, that is how we Kenyans treat our heroes. I have seen several times in this blog, some Kenyans rubishing the heroic nature one John Githongo. That is Kenyans for you. While Matiba was fighting Moi, Kibaki was saying in parliament that proponents of change were trying to fell a Mugumo tree with a razor blade. To reward Kibaki, Kenyans elecvted his president in 2002 and ignorted Matiba even as he struggled to save his crumbling empire from auctioneers.

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Kumekucha’s Old Schoolmate Mounts A Scathing Attack On The Popular Blogger

Although this was an annonymous comment left at this blog, I have a very good idea of who the author is and I am a little surprised at the venom that emerges in certain parts of the message. I hereby reproduce his entire comment in full;

I have read your blogspot almost since it started. I have a little advice for you.

1) At the beginning when you were more neutral, you got more balanced readership. There are young entrepreneurs of Kenya who will survive P.N.U and O.D.M and you should have retained their faith in you as a balanced commentator. This group is critical to you as a businessman.

2) When you write about your frustrations as a publisher in Nairobi, you omit the following basic reasons for your failure:

a)You had zero knowledge about marketing. In addition, your opinions were shallow and could only cater to the type of people who had been reading 'Scandal' at Lenana School.

b) Your failure to go and study Architecture limited your general Education...

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Fiasco, Chaos and Blood Bath in Polls

All the pretence to Kenya's political maturity was unmasked in today's party nominations. The hot and charged contests in almost every polling station let trails of blood that make previous election violence look like Sunday school chorus singers.

The scenes stretched from the absurd to the most comical. Sample this: an ex-MP emerges from the blues with stuffed ballot boxes and shamelessly proceeds to demand counting. On his protest from his opponent a brawl ensures with his guards drawing guns on the ready. Other places reported abduction of return officers so the scoundrels ended up declaring themselves winners.

The sad sad tale from the long-awaited primaries was simply a FIASCO for lack of a stronger term. To say it was chaotic is an understatement. And no political party was spared the nasty tag, they were all in the mix of bloodletting.

No weapon nor trick was spared as most aspirants engaged in all the known and unknown dirty tricks to win. And the POOR organization from respective party offices didn't help matters either. In some places voting material had not arrived by night fall and your guess is as good as mine what the scenario was and will continue to be.

Political Armageddon
The dearth of any trace of civility only goes a notch higher to explain the high premium attached to elective politics in Kenya. And why not fight tooth and nail to jump from rags to millionaire in less than a year?

If we thought our politicians were scoundrels then we better brace ourselves for the absolute political theatre of the unrivalled absurd. Next parliament promises to be populated by people who know why they are there: EXPEDIENCY per excellence. The next 40+ days will surely see Kenyans drowning in their own blood. God save Kenya.

Kumekucha Is BACK!

Hi folks,

I have been out of circulation for a prolonged period of time and a lot has happened politically in the two or three days that I have not been around. I have just cleared my backlog of emails and am now settling in to start unleashing hot dossiers and the kind of posts that yu would not want to miss, starting from tomorrow.

One of the first pieces I will do is answer a comment left here by a reader who delves into my personal life in a scathing personal attack that I will answer good naturally without being personal in any way. I will also publish his allegations in full. That’s a post you don’t want to miss because some of the claims he makes will shock you! This is a guy who knows me very well, but he has really twisted the truth.

Sadly I got back a little later than expected and on this day that is Mwai Emilio Stanley Kibaki’s birthday, I’ve missed a golden opportunity to tie in this fact with some interesting spin ideas the president’s handlers have been churning out.

Not to forget the hot saga that was left out of the Kroll report.

Keep a date with Kenya’s leading political blog tomorrow.

The 5 most popular stories on Kumekucha today 15th Nov.

1. The ODM ad that Kenyan stations won't run

2. Clinton's spin doctor jets in for Raila.

3. Moi's spies in ODM

4. General elections 2007: The Latest prediction.

5. Mainstream media frustrating ODM.

Clinton's Spin Doctor Jets in for Raila

That this years elections will be the most competitive in our national history is not debatable. Now it has been pushed a notch higher by ODM securing the services of former US president Bill Clinton's legendary political consultant, Dick Morris.

Morris is a master of catchy sound bites who is credited with masterminding the 1996 US election triumph. On arrival in Nairobi, Mr Morris compared both Clinton and Raila by calling both "people's candidate". According to him they both focus on the needs of the average person.

Image is everything
Remember Madam President Johnson of Liberia beating popular George Weah hands down? Kenyan politics has surely gone global in terms of branding. The Sprite advert couldn't have been more apt: Image is everything. Forget about the head burdening the shoulders it is a race to win the heart. May the best candidate win.

Paying Price of Lust and Professional Abuse

A break from the maddening Kenyan politics would be equally refreshing. Take Ann's story for example. Ann is a beautiful, voluptuous middle class woman working for an international organization in Nairobi.

Ann lives the dream life most of us would pay both limbs just to have a taste. She lives in her own house located in the leafy suburbs west of Uhuru highway complete with a swimming pool.

Last Friday gorgeous Ann visited a gynecologist. On entering Dr. Kim's clinic, the urbane and blue-chip medic takes one look at the angel before him and all his professionalism deserts him by melting into the thin city air.

Into the consultation room, Dr. Kim tells Ann to undress which she dutifully does. After disrobing the good doctor begins to explore (stroke) her thighs. In the process he asks his patient "Do you know what I'm doing?"

"Yes," she says, "you're checking for any abrasions or dermatological abnormalities."

"That's right," says Dr. Kim. He then begins to seize (actually fondle) her pair of roundly-shaped breasts. "Do you know what I'm doing now?" he asks.

"Yes," the woman says, "you're checking for any lumps of breast cancer."

"That's right," replies the doctor. Overcome by his libido and unable to control himself any longer with all the professionalism now a rumour, Dr. Kim begins to have his way with Ann. And in the process he asks her, "Do you know what I'm doing now?"


"Yes," she says. "You're getting herpes."

Story's moral
Moral of this story is that poison comes wrapped in sweeteners and you must respect your profession no matter the temptations. Whatis more? Let the our projections beautify the body but at no time should we let their expansion be the basis of our reasoning.

ODM Billboards Defaced!

These are the ODM billboards that were brought down by people suspected to be government agents on Monday night hardly six hours after they were mounted by workers of the Adopt-A-Light company on street light poles along Nairobi's Uhuru Highway.

The same billboards were yesterday re-mounted and the advertising firm has had to place a surveillance on them in collaboration with ODM.

Mrs. Esther Passaris, Adopt-A-Light Managing Director, was quoted in the press complaining that her workers (former rehabilitated street boys) are now spending nights in police cells on flimsy grounds, but on reasons she believes are linked to her decision to support the ODM Women's wing.

The police and the ECK are reportedly investigating these election malpractices but it is unlikely anyone will land in court soon going by records on how the ECK has handled recent election malpractices (remember the open attack on ODM leaders by a private army in Kisii?).

Our message today is that unless the government brings down the internet, Kumekucha readers will continue to receive these innovative adverts and even more importantly the message being sent out by the Orange Democratic Movement to Kenyans all over the world. Ukoloni na Ukabila hauta endelea!

Moi's 'Spies' in ODM

With his KANU 'empire' having crumbled in less than 5 years after he left power, it was rather ridiculous this week to hear former President Moi boasting that he has planted makachero (swahili for spies) in the Orange Democratic Movement (ODM) and that ODM should brace for a political fight of their lives. It is telling that, perhaps in a bid to sabotage the process, his remarks were made just when ODM is about to start its national parliamentary and civic nominations

It is an open secret that the former president is struggling to remain politically relevant. PNU is demanding political insurance premiums be kept up to date. Regrettably he appears to have convinced Kibaki and his team that he can actually deliver Rift Valley votes to PNU. Moi's relentless efforts to convince voters in the expansive Rift Valley to avoid ODM appear to have largely failed. All recent provincial opinion polls show that ODM's Raila Odinga is far ahead of the President Kibaki in that province. ODM itself has attracted an average of 15 aspirants in most of the constituencies in Rift Valley including several in Baringo Central which the president represented in parliament since independence to the time he retired in 2002, afterwhich his son Gideon took over the mantle 'unopposed'.

To add insult to injury, nearly all of Moi's close associates have defected to ODM and the former president (with only his fellow octogenarian Ezekiel Bargetuny at his side) wants to make it look like he engineered these defections. The revered Kalenjin Council of Elders has already installed ODM pentagon members Raila and Ruto Kalenjin elders (a ritual Moi himself never underwent despite his more than half century as a key politician from Rift Valley). The strong ODM wave in Rift Valley seems to be unstoppable.

Recently, the Chairman of the ODM Election Board, Justice (rtd) Richard Kwach was quoted as saying that the board was well aware that some aspirants had been planted in ODM nominations so as to cause confusion and that they are well known. Some of these aspirants have themselves confessed to the board.

My own take is that Moi has caused enough embarrassment to himself, his family and to this country by engaging in partisan politics. He should enjoy his retirement and let Kenyans (or in this case Kalenjins) chart their way forward unhindered.

Mainstream Media Frustrating ODM

It is now emerging that the so called mainstream media in Kenya is giving Orange Democratic Movement a rough time by declining to air most of the party's campaign advertisements. These ads are normally paid for in advance and it is unclear why a supposedly 'free' and private media is behaving like this.

Whereas TV stations are carrying all sorts of PNU propaganda against ODM, nearly all of ODM's major advertisements are rejected by Kenyan editors on flimsy grounds that they too radical or too hard hitting. One such PNU publication is a fake MOU purportedly signed between Raila Odinga and Kenyan Muslims. Any one who lives in Kenya will not have failed to have noticed how newspaper editorials are cleverly worded to promote the image and policies of government while those of the ODM and ODM-K are given a cursory mention in general pages.

The latest advertisement is one perceived to be the answer to PNU 'domo' clip which has been totally rejected by Nation/NTV, Standard/KTN, KBC and even Citizen Media. This clip will be uploaded to this forum shortly and readers will be able to gauge for themselves if Kenyan media editors are serious about promoting transparency and democracy.

The good news is that; we in Kumekucha, in the spirit of providing alternative space to opposition parties especially ODM that has emerged as the strongest challenge to President Kibaki's re-election plans, will continue to highlight these issues and provide Kenyans with appropriate information so as to enable them make informed decisions when electing the next government.

Today, we post a sample of one of the ODM billboards that has been repeatedly vandalised especially in areas which the ODM candidate is alleged to have minimal support, but the younger generation in those areas are emerging strongly to voice their support for Raila Odinga and ODM.

This is NOT propaganda but the reality of Kenya under the NARC government for the last three years. The image tells you that 8700 Kenyans have died in the hands of Kenyan security agents and that it might be YOU next if you do not take action NOW. It further depicts the terrified, bloodied and oppressed faces of the poor Kenyans, including women and children being hounded by security personnel.

HII NDIYO KAZI IENDELEE?

DEAR KENYANS, VOTE WISELY.

Related: Exclusive: ODM Advertsiment that Kenyan TV Stations Wont Air

Thanks Cardinal Njue For Saving Kivuitu

Thank God for giving us Cardinal-designate Njue (a prince of the church) whose voice and appeal made President Kibaki listen in reappointing Samuel Mutua Kivuitu as the ECK chair. As they say a nation that doesn't listen to the Almighty is lost. At long last the Emilio heard a voice he couldn't ignore lest....

And the characteristic big Sam did not disappoint in accepting his reappointment in his own style. Speak of pride and latent knowledge that the appointing authority was coaxed into doing what was right against his will.

Smart Sam
Kivuitu made it clear before that he won't beg for the job neither will he accept anything less than the law's prescription. Now that he has it in the bag, CHEEKY Kivuitu has made clear he won't last the 5 years with a warning that his seat is no bed of roses. In fact he mouthed the thinly-veiled threat of meeting your maker faster before you enjoy the goodies.

Give it to Kivuitu. We owe him alot as a nation and his clear message is that he is no push over. His position is so sensitive and he has served distinguishably. The lacklustre performance of his predecessor makes him look a saint. And the battle begins in earnest. May the best candidate win and God save Kenya.

Sasanet Con Shocker: Nairobi Man Invested Kshs 10 Million In Collapsed Pyramid Scheme

During my controversial visit to Nairobi and then on to the Rift Valley some months back and which I talked about here, something very fascinating happened which I have not mentioned until now. (The visit was “controversial” because I admitted that it was the first time in many years that I was visiting the Kenyan capital and many of my readers felt cheated because they had always assumed that I was based in Nairobi.)

Anyway, during that visit, I sat at a dinner table somewhere in Nakuru with some relatives and listened as they explained to me in great detail how Kenyans were making a killing investing short term in some “solid investment companies.” One of the companies mentioned was Sasanet. They vehemently denied that it was a pyramid scheme and went on to tell me this amazing story about some smart lady who collects her cheques every month and then spends the rest of her time touring the world on some mercy missions and on holiday too.

What struck me was that I was not talking to some ordinary gullible wananchi on the streets. These were highly educated persons. The cream of society, so to speak. Some of the people on that table were the kind that regularly visited those capitals of the world the rest of us only hear about or see in movies and world news. New York, Washington, Paris, London etc.

Still, I only needed to ask a few questions and I was sure that what they were referring to were pyramid schemes (at the end of this article I explain how to tell a pyramid scheme instantly and the difference between pyramid schemes (illegal in most of the world) and Multi-level marketing (MLM) or Network marketing companies which is a very legitimate business. But what puzzled me even more was the fact that some companies mentioned like Sasanet had a very good image and were considered to be reputable businesses. Sasanet is one of the companies that had passed scrutiny and been licensed by the CCK Communication Commission of Kenya.

I asked where the money was being invested so as to yield such high returns and I was promptly told that it was being invested “off shore.” I could hardly prevent myself from giggling. Most of the returns “offshore” were usually very low, in the region of single digit percentages. Certainly not what would provide cash for the amazing returns of almost 20% for a brief 3 month periods being paid out by the likes of Sasanet in this case.

I took time to quietly explain to everybody why the investment schemes were definitely scams. But I could see that they were hardly convinced. After all I had no track record as a known investor. Who was I? In fact a couple of the people I was talking to on that table had leant me some cash during some hard times I had passed through not too long ago.

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The 5 most popular stories on Kumekucha today-12th Nov

Party With Pattni

Jovial looking KENDA chairman Kamlesh Pattni yesterday launched his party manifesto with gusto. Brimming with confidence, he assured would be parliamentary aspirants vying for a seat on his party ticket that if they so wished they did not need to abandon support for their preferred presidential candidate even as they gunned for victory in up-coming elections on a KENDA platform
Welcome to the advent of out-sourcing in politics made in Ken(da)ya-here we see KENDA as a unique second-to-none example of a multi-party open source platform-its shareware, and its free-for-all; indeed one sizes does fit all. The party (read political) has become a real party (read funfare)-all are invited and no one (person) is truly running the show . Whoever said a house divided against itself cannot stand had obviously never come across the type of parties found (thrown) in Kenyan politics-enjoy yourself thoroughly and without restraint because whoever wins you win also-sio kwa ubaya lakini hawa wakenya ndiye wapumbavu sisi ndiye werevu
Multi-party open source politics announces but never produces any real leader(s) with whom the buck stops. Is this similar to Judas ready for his 30 pieces of silver? Indeed movement generating alot of heat without light. Still, there are other good enough reason to jivunia kuwa mkenya

Exclusive: The ODM Advertisement That Kenyan TV Stations Wont Air

The following advert was reportedly intercepted by government agents who warned media houses in Kenya, especially TV stations, of dire consequences should it find its way onto the airwaves. The ban, purportedly on the grounds that "the advert is too hard hitting and a threat to national security" is yet another chilling sign of the return to the days of one-party dictatorship.

Turn on your speakers and enjoy!

Open Letter to Chris: Politics and Kumekucha

I hope this finds you well.
I read a comment on Kumekucha recently (in reaction to your article “Kenyans Speak Bluntly about Elections 2007”) urging you to declare the candidate that Kumekucha is supporting for the presidency in this year’s elections. It got me thinking.

The comment read:
Chris, do you know a time will come soon (I think it’s time is overdue) when this publication – Kumekucha – will have to confirm its support to one of the candidates/political party for Kenya’s 2007 elections? It is a worldwide practice and is acceptable journalism that newspapers, magazines and other news sources to publish what they call editorials. I know many people think this an ODM blog. I beg to differ. The sooner you announce a position the better. An editorial policy influences readership (in this case, hits) and you should not fear anything in this regard. Taking a position by voting for your preferred candidate is democratic and shows that you are taking your responsibilities as a citizen seriously. For that reason I encourage you/ Taabu/ Luke/ Ritch to endorse the candidature of Raila Odinga so we may get over with it.

My Take
First things first. Chris, I know Kumekucha is not an ODM blog. It seems to be an ODM blog because of the ‘loudness’ of one Phil in favour of ODM and Raila Odinga.

Another thing, most people ‘saunter’ to Kumekucha because, here, they are not ‘coerced’ or ‘arm-twisted’ to think well of (and to eventually vote for) any one candidate as other e-magazines and blogs have been doing in the recent past. (I am quite aware that the different political parties have their own web sites, blogs and e-magazine. Their work is to talk well of their candidates and to drum support for them. There is nothing wrong with that.)

Kumekucha is a different kettle of fish altogether. It is a mélange of different and disparate opinions on the Kenyan society and especially Kenya’s political landscape. Taking sides will disturb the status quo that Kumekucha now enjoys and feeds off.

People who support different candidates for the presidency exist in harmony here at Kumekucha for this blog cuts right across the political divide. Drumming support for a single candidate here will mean that you’ll be throwing objectivity out the window. (Objectivity being one of the foundation blocks of credible journalism!).

Chris, this is just food for thought. And with that, I rest my case.

Steadman Consultant 'Mellows' After State House Summons

Dr. Tom Wolf has been a political scientist and research consultant for the Steadman Group since 2004. He is a face that is synonymous with Kenya's highly controversial political opinion polls and is an American national.

Unconfirmed reports have emerged in Nairobi that Dr. Wolf was recently summoned to State House and instructed in no uncertain terms to ensure that President Kibaki ratings MUST be made the highest in the 'Steadman' opinion polls. These reports received credence this morning when a caller claiming to an NSIS officer with 'interest of the country at heart' made sensational claims on Umoja FM (105.5) on air saying that Dr. Wolf had been threatened with immediate deportation unless he doctored opinion poll ratings in favour of the president. His spirited efforts to explain the ABCs of research methods fell on deaf ears. Things reportedly turned nasty at State House where he is said to have been slapped on the face by an enraged first lady for 'failing to heed instructions'. Personally, I doubt if Dr. Wolf would have offered much physical resistance. My conservative estimates put him at 5ft, 55kg.

Apparently, Steadman Group is now feeling the pressure not only from opposition leaders, but also from government side. ODM-K's Kalonzo Musyoka was reported to have had an early 3 hour meeting with Steadman MD Mr. George Waititu last week at a Nairobi Hotel. Now the State House summons appear to have forced the research company to questionably change its sampling parameters. Can previous opinion results be trusted then? Other sources contend that had Steadman stuck to their traditional sampling methods, Raila would have defeated Kibaki by a margin of 15 - 20%!

Interestingly, the Nation Media Group has also commissioned three different research companies to publish weekly provincial and national opinion polls on the three leading presidential candidates. All three research firms plus the Steadman Group have for the last eight weeks persistently placed ODM presidential candidate Raila Odinga on the lead, albeit with varied ratings.

Yesterday, Dr. Wolf penned a lengthy article in the leading Sunday newspapers saying that the winner of this year's presidential poll will be determined by the voter turn-out. Whether this is as a result of the State House visit remains to be seen.

As it has been rightly pointed out, Steadman does not vote. The people will surely decide at the ballot box on 27/Dec/2007.

Reddykulas Party Out Fighting, Join Them

The Reddykulas kingpin John Kiare (aka KJ) is out leading by example and from the front. Teaming with Mdomo Baggy and Kajairo these guys have chosen to dirty their hands. What is more, they are going against the grain with the principal message against TRIBALISM, our number one killer.

Make no mistake, this is NO COMEDY. They are contesting Dargoretti, Kamkunji and Embakassi constituencies respectively.

Unlile us bloggers here postponing MISERY to 2012, these three gentlemen are walking the talk. Will be free ourselves from BONDAGE and join them in reclaiming our country? But probably true to Kenyan fashion we will recoil with the refrain: IT IS NOT THE RIGHT TIME - IT IS POLLUTED ALREADY. No excuses please.

In my opinion, this is more than an eye opener and we owe these chaps support in deed and otherwise for showing the way. It is upon us to BANISH our slavery to sectarianism and get involved NOW and not tomorrow. What do you good people out there have to say? Any suggestion and immediate actions?