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Friday, November 23, 2007

Garden Tools in Government Vehicles.

By releasing the previously impounded GK vehicle, laden with assorted crude weapons stashed in sacks, Kibakis’ administration is intimating that his water assistant minister is indeed a multi-billionaire farmer requiring an inordinate number of bodyguards armed with heavy rungus…. capable of inflicting high doses of pain on anyone threatening the person of the honorable MP. Apparently, it is also planting season at Wanjalas’ expansive farm; thus the need for very many sharp pangas for clearing the huge tracts of land; the tougher bushes will be cut by the never disappointing Somali swords. It is not clear what the whips will be used for, but since they were at the discounted sale price at Nakumatt, why not indulge?

The question is, as posed by my lawyer friend, what crime has been committed? At what point does a panga, in government protected transit, become anything more than a common garden tool? Is this a simple case of misuse of public property i.e. use of the GK vehicle in the transportation of government unrelated garden tools? Does innocent until proven guilty apply here?….considering the fact that if any harm is to be unleashed upon hapless villagers, it must be before Dec 27th.

It is fact that a stone becomes a weapon when it is speeding towards the head of a soon to be victim of a very bad and excruciating headache. That said, who’s more of a criminal?, the stone hurling PNU sympathizer in Juja constituency or the government minister destined to posses in his arsenal, shiny and crisp unused pangas…among other assorted garden tools.

Folks, whereas the outrage?

8 comments:

Tom Mwendwa said...

Kalamari,

Did you mean, "Where's the outrage?" :)

Garden tools, eh? The weapons, which included 20 bows, 50 arrows, 30 rungus, 30 pangas and 30 Somali swords packed in gunny bags are at the Naivasha police station.

Truth is, the minister, had just collected his "Piga Na Ukatekate" campaign kit (standard issue).

sayra said...

Ha ha ha ...
You have made my afternoon.

At times, we would rather make fun of the whole thing coz the issue will be down played by the government and come monday Wanjala will be a free man ... like you & me

Anonymous said...

Latest Emerging Details

A Disturbing new story has emerged from the Kibaki's birthplace in Nyeri,Kenya. Its a story never told before about the reason for the death of Kibaki's father. Mzee Karauri,speaking to a news reporter in Nairobi in November said that one day in the 1980's,Kibaki had hatched a plot to kill the then president Daniel Moi. A bomb had been placed in a chartered Kenya Airways plane that was to carry the president to a meeting in Ethiopia. Kibaki was responsible. Moi,who had an airtight intelligence network got hind of this plot. The former president was known to hit back hard when betrayed. He announced at the last minute that Kibaki represent him in Ethiopia. Kibaki was terrified. He badly needed a reason not to travel to Ethiopia,and it better be a good one. At about the same time,his father was ailing at a village in Nyeri. Kibaki is reported to have began a well executed plot that ended up with his father being killed. He then called Moi to inform him of his "loss".

Cosequently, Kibaki escaped by sacrificing his father. The bomb was defused, but from then on, Kibaki knew that he owed Moi his life and that he would do Moi's bidding. That's why Kibaki willingly split Kikuyu votes in 92 at Moi's bidding, this was supposed to be the payback for the attempt on Moi.

tim said...

Latest Emerging Details

A Disturbing new story has emerged from the Kibaki's birthplace in Nyeri,Kenya. Its a story never told before about the reason for the death of Kibaki's father. Mzee Karauri,speaking to a news reporter in Nairobi in November said that one day in the 1980's,Kibaki had hatched a plot to kill the then president Daniel Moi. A bomb had been placed in a chartered Kenya Airways plane that was to carry the president to a meeting in Ethiopia. Kibaki was responsible. Moi,who had an airtight intelligence network got hind of this plot. The former president was known to hit back hard when betrayed. He announced at the last minute that Kibaki represent him in Ethiopia. Kibaki was terrified. He badly needed a reason not to travel to Ethiopia,and it better be a good one. At about the same time,his father was ailing at a village in Nyeri. Kibaki is reported to have began a well executed plot that ended up with his father being killed. He then called Moi to inform him of his "loss".

Cosequently, Kibaki escaped by sacrificing his father. The bomb was defused, but from then on, Kibaki knew that he owed Moi his life and that he would do Moi's bidding. That's why Kibaki willingly split Kikuyu votes in 92 at Moi's bidding, this was supposed to be the payback for the attempt on Moi.

luke said...

Come now Bw.Kalamari, why is there a need for outrage? I mean, we all know that Kenya is primarily an AGRICULTURE based economy-and isn't it public knowledge that Wanjala has a farm?what is the problem then?
In the same way, John Serut likes to watch the old western American cowboy movies before he goes to bed each night-one morning last week he forgot to wakeup and went sleep walking, enacting his many frequent wild-west running gun-battle dreams in the full glare of public daylight-do we condemn the man because he is a sleep-walker?
If you ask me, there are other far-worse things we can get hystrical about-like why in the world is the US suggesting in a new research that being overweight might actually be beneficial for health-there is the perfect example of having your cake and eating it
Oh, and by the way, there are worse DEVILS out there attacking women and female aspirants with said garden implements-blame the workman not the tools

Vikii said...

I heard of the story about Kibaki and his father about 10 years ago. They say he paid boys to instill serious pain and death on the father.

What I dont know is whether this originated from Nyatanga or it is indeed true. The only difference is that my summit was in Lusaka and not Addis-Ababa.

Taabu said...

Rumours mean diffeent things to different people. While to many it is the foundation of fact others consider it parallel truth. Take your pick and indulge. Scoundrels can do anything and I mean ANYTHING including harming USELESS poor Nyatanga.

Anonymous said...

how do i put it, people are going to die and some be separated from thier family and what does the GOVT. say to this? Garden hoes? i don't belive them, how do you ... karma is a bitch, i pray that it goes round and backslaps them.

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