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Monday, August 28, 2006

Why Tribalism Is So Ridiculous

The cost of DNA testing is falling and experts warn that the world may not be prepared for the consequences. A recent survey showed that a significant percentage of human beings walking this earth was not sired by the person they think they were.

Imagine the shock and trauma when you wake up one morning to discover that the sperm that created you did not come from the man you have always known as your father? DNA testing is conclusive and does not lie. Experts warn that some secrets are best left alone and un-pursued and what you do not know in many cases will not harm you.

However DNA testing may help bring many to their senses about an issue that is mostly ignored by many but just won't go away.

Picture this situation where this young Kikuyu lady grows up to be influenced negatively towards fellow Kenyans from the DhoLuo community. Unknown to her, her beloved mother had this wild fling one night with some smartly dressed, eloquent gentleman from the lake.

"These Luos are very stupid," she is fond of saying. Unknowingly she's actually insulting herself having been sired by a person from that community.

The terrible truth is that even your own respectable, trusted, perfect mother may not be entirely sure as to who your father is. So it is extremely dangerous to be abusive towards any other Kenyan community because chances are high that you could be insulting your own parentage and by extension yourself.

That is how ridiculous this tribalism thing is.

Why is it that when we meet out there in some Western capital far away from home, tunajivunia kuwa WaKenya (we are proud of being Kenyan). But the minute we are back home, the nagging question is always; what tribe are you?

If only DNA tests were advanced enough to show tribe and it was possible to do lots of DNA testing countrywide, I'd love to be the one to announce the results to some proud tribalists...

Meru: The DNA tests conclusively shows that you're from that clan you hate so much.

Luo; You're actually a typical Kikuyu from Kiambu

Kikuyu: Pole sana kijana, this DNA results conclusively prove that you are from the heart of Homa Bay. Your dad and Senator Barack Obama's dad are from the same tribe.

Kisii: You are actually a typical Kamba my ndear

Luhya: Luhya my foot, you Pokomo from Coast province.

I believe a few suicides later, Kenyans might just come to their senses.

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Where Tom Mboya's Assasination Was Planned.

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