Imanyara's Local Tribunal Bill Dead on Arrival

Kenyans must have seen it coming. The voluble MPs predictably and conveniently dissolved in thin air leaving parliament chambers empty. Result, the popular Imanyara Bill meant to create local tribunal to punish perpetrators of PEV was pronounced dead on arrival.

To compound matters, the Kenya clergy are already proposing minimum reforms after prophesying failure in enacting new constitution. But you cannot fault men of the cloth given our penchant to kill any progressive idea that doesn't serve present political interest.

Give it to Minister Michuki for shooting straight from the hip. At least the snake rattler is forthright in telling off Imanyara to separate local tribunal from his obsession in targeting the president. Kimendero is a go-getter who knows what brings results and what amounts to hot air bereft of any meaningful movement.

For results, Michuki has promised Imanyara his vote provided the provision stripping the president of immunity is deleted from the bill.

A+O+O=Fire or meddling?
So here we are paying over 200 MPs to desert their work stations and still expect progress from their collective inertia. The political stakes have never been higher and the forest is getting even more crowded.

It appears we haven't sunk to the bottom of abyss but we are steadily headed there.

The eloquent inaction, rudderlessness and official indifference are the trinity arsenal we need to exterminate ourselves come 2012.

No wonder only the fire of A+O+O shakes the scoundrels off their boots.

Crying Political Wolf Without Tears

As we enter the last week without elections the principal candidates are acting desperately to win the undecided voters. And their strategy to rehabilitate old political habits only succeeds in insulting the collective intelligence of Kenyans.

Amos Kimunya has become a serial political GOOFER. True the Finance minister wants to earn his new status as the new face of kitchen cabinet but a little bit of political tact would make him concentrate of PNU’s strengths instead of opening the stinking can of political worm that is Anglo Leasing.

By blaming Anglo Leasing on ODM, Kimunya is inadvertently prescribing the dose that multiple wrongs made a right. They had power and the law for five solid years and did nothing. One wonders whether the Githongo tapes contained recordings of ODM.

Make no mistake! ODM chaps are no saints but equally scoundrels of different shade.
But challenging their financiers while you have the entire infrastructure to frustrate them is the height of political naivety.

Smelling political blood
With all leading presidential candidates smelling political victory one is left wondering how many presidents we will have come December 28. Raila is already seeing Canaan and asking for MV voter to deliver him to that coast of honey and tapped milk. Emilio spews confidence like that of a tiger inside a chicken pen. Meanwhile political miracle awaits Kenyans when Mr. Clean makes his penultimate match to power.

Even the king of Omugusi Nyachae is not left behind in this charade of self-rediscovery. Simeon Nyachae has declared that he is in no mood to quit elective politics soon as he himself hinted sometimes back. Mwana wa Nyandusi wants to accomplished what God wanted him to. Well, God’s name is better not used in vein because He may just want your life back. But that is not for me to speculate.

Back to the new face of PNU, Kimunya has warned that campaigning against Kibaki’s Government could trigger animosity that would culminate in a war between poor and the rich. So now it is official from the Finace minister that the two official TRIBES of Kenya are the have and the havenots. I shudder to imagine a revolt by the majority among these two groups. Meanwhile kazi iendelee.

Changing Fortunes, Voter Become Boss

How times change? It was a humbling experience listening to the hitherto combative ex-security minister Christopher Ndarathi Murungaru on radio implore the Kalenjins to change their hearts and vote for Kibaki.

Only election time has the magic to make our politicians appreciate their voters as the boss. Flanked by the diminutive ex-PC Joseph Kaguthi and Kanu chair Uhuru Kenya, Bw Murungaru figuratively went down on his knees to seek understanding and forgiveness from Rift Valley voters. What of the risk vote basket proving a nightmare for PNU even with propping of ex-President Moi?

Three musketeers?
The trio used the Kass FM studios to implore their targeted listeners to understand the origins of the hostility between the Kalenjin and the Kikuyu. Boy, is it becoming desperate with plenty at stake?

Contrasting Hon. Murungaru's passionate plea with the rivers of sweat in his glory days threatening to kusiaga, kusakanya and kubwaga press leaves you with apt description of scoundrels. Leaves you wondering, is it a case of desperate moments calling for desperate measures or chicken coming home to roast?

The beverage advert couldn't have put it any better: IMAGE/PERCEPTION IS EVERYTHING. Going on air on KASS is one open admission (nay acceptance) of tribal tension and perception. Having three people sharing the same native language convince another to think outside the box is a paradox of sorts if you ask me.

Either way the strategy could backfire given the selection of the three and their place of birth. Na bado.

The Lunch That Never Was

ODM-K's London dinner scheduled for tomorrow has been cancelled due to SERIOUS SECURITY REASONS. Consequently, the ODM-K presidential candidate Hon. Kalonzo who was to grace the £ 50 per pax dinner will also fail to travel and meet Kenyans in the diaspora as publicized earlier.

This last minute cancellation smacks of either mischief or poor organization. One is left wonder with fertile imaginations whether the reasons for the aborted dinner lied elsewhere even after scrapping the fee and making the dinner free. When contacted for comment, the LADY organizer could only afford to say that the meeting will be rescheduled for a future date.

True to Kenyan politics, this development has left the political scene awash with wild rumours flying in all directions. Aspersions and innuendos are being cast in all directions some sympathetic while most are out rightly propagandist in nature and content. So the quest and plastic attention to the diaspora continues. Na bado

Battle Royale as Pentagon Goes Hexagon

The flood gates are opened as House Speaker Mr Kaparo raised the political temperatures by issuing writs that officially declared the 210 parliamentary seats vacant. And job hunting as we usher in another season of defection with predicatble shamelessness.

The full Orange has expanded and gone Hexa (six) by admitting Ngilu into into its top organ. Meanwhile PNU is dolling out districts at a rate that makes Moi's look like tokens. Old habits are surely perfected by slaves of nostalgia. What with a continuation of creating TRIBALLY-nomenclatured districts like Samia?

Scoring own goal
But Orange family would be better advised not to waste their time on petty envy by attacking each other instead of squaring it with their common opponent. When ODM is not denigrating its sibling as punda, the latter is rubbishing the former's poll superior rating. Speak of superlative self-destruction.

And out of curiosity at the risk of being e-lynched, is the ODM supremo part-time Kenyan or running from without? Even before you shout Chungwa or Kasarai, Tinga is air bound out of Kenya. Phil share with us part of the itinerary, we deserve to know,ama?

Finally, that Tawala Kenya song, was it out of mere excitement, spicing the ocassion or inadvertently scoring an own goal?

Shirikisho Divorces PNU Before the Wedding

Even before President Kibaki's shadow disappeared from the TV screens, the Kenya political theatre is alive with plenty of acts. Shirikisho has bolted out of PNU as Kombo sent all the civic bosses packing.

And what a preamble to a potentially action-packed next 60+ days? Well, we haven't seen anything yet. The political theatrics we have witnessed perfected by our scoundrels for leaders ni kionjo.

Theatrics in earnest before the race
Shirikisho may have opted out of PNU to retrace its steps in attempt to remain politically relevant. What with its baby Majimbo being weaned and trumpeted loudest by competitors outside PNU? The next few days will see more heavy weights drifting in the Kenyan political landscape like a rudderless ship lost in the doldrums. Kamata kamata........