Poor Sad Kenyans Nailed on the Cross

By KK Blogger

What a speedy ruinous transition from the most hopeful in the world to the saddest in under a decade? The true state of sad Kenya can only be traced to the own making of Kenyans themselves. They made the bed and must brace themselves to lie on it.

That Kenya is at crossroads is susch a remarkable paradox where human, material and achievements are celebrated irrespective of how have been acquired. The media are culpable in this context thriving on fanning emotions of the Kenyan people rather than promoting ethnic harmony. Secondly, leadership lacks direction whipping ethnic allegiance at the expense nationhood.

As revealed in a recent research, Kenyans are amongst the saddest which tells a million since majority are prone to depression worried about where the next meal would be coming from whilst those inciting us against each other worries the least about this. Majority of us lack the relaxed social contact and emotional satisfaction we need, we thrive on exploiting others to an extent where illegal drug lords are celebrated deemed as leaders.

How is it that we have created mental and emotional suffering manifested through corruption, land grabbing and exploitation the poor while at the same time keeping t the poor masses together as they follow ‘leaders’ blindly? The ilk of Ruto, Uhuru and Sonkos are the ones I have in mind. Whilst we struggle for psychological survival, we celebrate this people against the backdrop of stress and emotional exhaustion we are going through. But the truth is that they are lavishing themselves in extravagance at our expense while our children, siblings, families are dying of hunger, diseases not able to afford basic health care, least of all able to put food on the table.

These people are deeply ambivalent about our welfare or the state of affairs, rather are concerned about wealth, material gain and at the pinnacle this is how to protect what they have ‘acquired’ at all cost thus the hullabaloo about ‘time for youth leadership’. Incisive questions in this regard are whether this ‘bus’ offers any solutions to unemployment, drugs, crime , diseases and lack resources to jump start businesses or offering any vision for the future of Kenya with clear strategies. Hell no, the culture of impunity is what this promotes, with ‘me/my’ at centre of it all. The end result to all these is that we are bringing up children who will be celebrating drug lords, those with no respect to humanity , grabbers and in the long run perpetuating moral profligacy.

It is a pity that mainstream politics no longer taps on these issues and has abandoned the attempt to provide a shared vision capable of inspiring us to create a better society. As mainstream voters we have lost collective belief that that the society has bestowed upon us to shun such personalities for the sake of harmony in our midst. With this in mind it is possible to piece together intention of these ’Johny come lately’ politicians who personify dysfunction behaviour. If we spared a second in order to have a proper understanding of where these actions will take Kenya or transform politics and quality of life for all of us. This would change our experience of the world around us and change whom we support or vote in.

Instead of blaming the society, religion, values education, governance the responsibility is ours, resonating around our behaviour, culture and values. The buck therefore stops by the doorstep of the media, instead of promoting harmony in the society; they are constantly thriving in fanning animosity between different personalities an extension of divide between their communities. Positive stories/news that would help Kenyans celebrate their diversity positively are relegated to ‘less worthy stories’ as opposed tribal warlords galvanising their tribes to fight their personal wars.

This decay will result in a generation lacking vision, direction or future that which celebrates thugs, Mungikis, drug lords and proponents of widening the gap between the poor and rich or just society and broken society.

But again aren't we an enterprising lot and the envy of many neighbours? Surely the road to self destruction must be immaculately paved with golden pebbles. Ours is akin to marvelling at the beauty of every floor on our way down oblivious of the hard pavement waiting to split our collective skulls.

KCSE Exam Cheating Reflects Rotten Values

Our filthy national fabric is being aired for all to see and marvel at. Past students who scored As and waiting to join campus are being hired to RESIT exams so as to boost schools’ profiles. The single fraudulent objective being to attract more money from gullible parents. But who is fooling whom here? No prizes for guessing.

Granted, the cheating may not be that widespread but only concentrated in the usual pockets of regions. And there lies the crux of the matter, why would a parent or guardian sent a student to mark time in school for a whole four years with the singular objective of buying his/her way to SUCCESS? This evil ritual is so annoying and demoralizing to the majority hard-working students.

And as they say a society is its own mirror. Honesty and integrity are virtues for the less industrious who sweat for their food. Why soil your fingers if a shortcut is available at the right price? We are our won worse enemies when we cheer thieves and murders as they lead us to the next available cliff.

The KCSE exam fiasco is another reminder of our rotten values. The same parents complaining about corruption will be the first ones to troop to the schools enrolling past candidates in search of admission. And here we are admonishing abstract impunity while watering the fruits of eternal self-destruction. OLE WETU.

Forget about a new constitution all we need is a NATIONAL REBIRTH OF BASIC VALUES. Generally what we consider success is nothing but primitively accumulated wealth by few individuals at our collective expense. And what is more, they have rented our mouths at no fee.

Most of Kenya’s maladies are self inflicted. Just look at the limping economy, predictable floods and at the top IDPs. Until we have a honest look at our national conscience and mend our ways, all the lofty talk about DELUSION 2030 amounts to nothing but baying at the moon.

Bye Hilary Clinton, You’re Obama’s Catapult

She came, shouted herself hoarse and left plenty of heat with no trace of light. Hilary Clinton was such a powerful catapult for Obama who will not reduce himself to gracing our shores soon. And as predictable as the sun sets in the east Hilary took the moral high ground delivering great lecture to an unwilling audience.

Her theatrics are over and we are back to own ways. Hilary and Obama are better advised that no amount of noise will make us deviate from our goals. They must know that post election violence which they often exploit to as a pretext to harass us is our exclusive making.

We know the colour and taste our own blood better and we have more pressing issues like IDPs to settle instead of watching video links from Washington. Clinton can shout all the much she cares about reforms but we know we have our own IRON LADY Martha who is real steel with the penchant to never taking hostages nor suffering fools lightly.

POTUS and PORK
So POTUS Barack Obama takes the relationship with Kenya very seriously and very personally? So what? Yes he can mouth all the platitudes but he cannot hold any candle to our own PORK who was already a don when he was born.

US should be the last country to lecture anybody on impunity. And we are miles ahead of them in terms of human rights and good governance. Look who between Kenya and US is a signatory to the Rome Statute.

So Hilary waxes democratic and articulate by reminding us that fighting impunity is like a rite of passage and the only road forward. So what, we have heard that before. In fact we are treading that bloody road since December 2007. Leta ingine.

Another Tank Blaze: No Poverty Excuse Please

We don’t learn, do we? Hardly 200 days since the Sachang’wan tragedy and yet we have human torches setting the bushes ablaze at Kapsoit. Now who will this careless public blame? They have been warned numerous times against siphoning fuel from tankers after accidents. But who cares when they can loot and make tidy money without any sweat?

Well until we disabuse ourselves of the mentality of freebies, we will continue to pay heavily for our stupidity both collectively and individually. The hollow justification of poverty doesn’t wash. Claiming that an empty stomach doesn’t reason is no excuse to plunge into hell from which you never live to tell the story.

Human torches
True, the body politics is stinking to high heavens. Also true is the latent complicity and enticement from belligerent tank drivers who jump out of moving near-empty tankers leaving them to overturn so as conceal their fraudulent tracks after selling most of the fuel.

Until we revert to basic human tenets of decency and hard work, breathing torches will continue setting bushes ablaze. That may sound insensitive to those in love of living lies and in denial, but it remains the painful truth with her hands fully stretched begging for a walk.

Tribalists Ruining Kenya, Please Stop Them

By Philip (the visitor)

First a humble question to readers of Kumekucha, why have you lowered the bar that much? Even if your rants are a reflection of reality on the ground, you can surely do better than outdoing the villagers.

The vitriol and venom spewed here leaves one wondering whether the writers are really Kenyans, living inside or exiled outside. Here I am left imagining what a bloody battle ground it would be if some of you met face to face

I remember what a Kikuyu taxi driver told me on 14th January 2008 at around 4.00P.M as he was driving me to Eldoret airport (by the way my former Kikuyu boss had feared attending a meeting there so I was representing him):

Kikuyu taxi driver: "Niliponea sana,eeh nilishtuka mazee, hao watu walikuwa wakistopisha gari na kichwa ya mtu kwa mkuki. Mazee sita wish noma kaa hii itokee tena. Inafaa tuwachane na hizi story kabisa."


I don't think we will ever gain when, due to hatred for Raila, we pass blame to all Luos, or due to our hatred for Kibaki we pass our blame to Kikuyus.

I'm lucky that my former boss was a Kikuyu, while one of the Consultant who used to give him consultancy jobs was a Luo. This made me to realise that what separates the good and the bad is God (an atheist can tell me other alternative). I don't think there is anybody among us who can say that he has never been hurt by a member of his/her tribe, to the extend that he'll defend his/her tribe as if his/her tribe is better than the other.

In our current society where we have adopted the western culture so much and there is freedom of movement, the different between two people from different tribe is nothing else but the sound that comes out of their mouth when they speak mother tongue.

So you are a FOOL (not you Chris, but some bloggers here) if you think your tribe is better than the other tribe.

If our names were changed, then we were mixed with other strangers, and finally made mute, don't you think you could have realised that tribal difference between us.

It is so sad and pitiful that we have let tribes to blind us so much that even goats, cows and sheep interact better than us, yet we call ourselves human beings given orders by God to control these animals.


Therefore let's not put tribe as a defence to what our leaders do. We better realize that one's tribe will never justify his/her actions.

I hate this attitude of "Raila stole, eehh Raila is a Luo, I am also Luo, so Raila actually never did something that wrong" or "Kibaki stole, eehh Kibaki is a Kikuyu, and I'm a Kikuyu, ah so Kibaki never did something that bad". Its all BULLSHIT!

Forgive me for using any vulgar word. Only that I'm annoyed with intellectuals who are spreading tribalism.

Selling Kenya to Terrorists for 9 Pieces of Silver

It is 10 years since that dark Friday when death and destruction landed on Kenya. Kenya was devastated by terrorists who brought their trail of destruction to our shores. Since then Kenya has never been the same again. But what have we learned as a country since that fateful Friday?
What a paradox that while many maimed Kenyans are still trying to come to terms with their shuttered lives, the mastermind of that heinous act one Fazul Mohamed from Comoros is right within our borders possibly planning an anniversary to obliterate Kenya. Fazul is around shopping for a doctor at the right price to attend to his ailing kidneys. And for the fifth time in as many years he has escaped the police dragnet.

Fazul’s operation since 1998 has proved that in Kenya everything has a price and nothing is sacrosanct. Forget about the hollow chorus of najivunia kuwa Mkenya which was a visionary slogan manufactured by sightless scoundrels principally for political expediency. Here we have one fugitive with the police force at his beck and call and at the right price he is tipped off of an impending raid leaving all his belongings but escaping with his most murderous soul.

Deception and fraud is our forte both at individual and institution level. The corrupt policeman doesn’t a care in the wilderness what is actions in tipping Fazul portents for a whole country. By the way, why would he care when doing so would make him rich and respectable Kenyan? It has been said that eradicating corruption starts with taking personal responsibility towards the same. But where would one get the motivation in matters he has no control over and will the potential to decimate him and others around him?

Damn the consequences
Two wrong never made a right and past ruinous governments is no justification to outdo those grand frauds. While Kibaki regime is having auctioning Kenya though a myriad cleverly crafted avenues like government-to-government Grand Regency sale, individual Kenyans will do anything within their powers to pursue our national pastime of primitive wealth accumulation. The ingenious fraudsters seldom fail to craft high-sounding programs like v2030 which are designed to keep Kenyans busy mauling over abstracts as the looting spree acquires breakneck speed.

Our is a culture singularly defined by the vices of deception and fraud only succeeds in mutating to a monster that ends up eating herself. By working hard, we are unwittingly nourishing terrorists who will help us achieve the ultimate objective of obliteration faster. Here have Fazul from Comoros possessing two Kenyan passports with the new one acquired in February 2008 at the height of near-meltdown in the post-election violence. No wonder we lost the UK visa privilege in 1997 when we chose to sell our birthright to Somalis at the right price. Well, we have been propping skunks under the guise of fraudulent industriousness and we have to live with the resulting stench. No amount of deodorizing will ameliorate sickening smell as we steadily and surely hurtle towards self-destruction on our own and aiding others to accelerate it.

Exporting Deception, Lessons From Football

First congratulations to all drunk and sober souls still savouring last night's victory and glory in Moscow. Still here waiting to DETOXIFY before the visa waiver expires. THERE IS ONE UNITED and WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS.

With that double gloat off my chect, what can we learn as Kenyans from the beautiful game? One no shortcuts. You cannot afford to win a trophy via top up. But most important NO IMPUNITY and fair play is enforced to the letter. Those traits leaves you with a sour taste when you think of ELECTION THEFT. If one Samuel Kivuitu would have been a referee worth his name and beyond reproach Kenya would be the much better devoid of IDPs and the 1500 souls still alive. But then you cannot polish Lucifer in any angelic gab. or can you?

Now we have Kenyans running for their dear lives down in South Africa. Reason? Hostile local environment left no option of making it at home. And while abroad these Kenyans are overtly or covertly exporting our national pastime of DECEPTION hence the resentment. Very soon Southern Sudan will be the next xenophobic hot spot. Kenyan business people are used to SHORTCUTS to riches and the Sudanese are not taking it lightly.

Deception no industry
We are a country led by pretenders whose forte is DECEPTION which they defend with selective application of law. As a result Kenyans export ILLEGAL practices that readily boil to tensions outside our borders. As a nation are unwittingly caging ourselves into an exclusive home of scoundrels disguised as INDUSTRIOUS. This is no ethnic bashing by any means but a reality check. While locally those who raise their voices in opposing these vices are derided as DOMO, elsewhere the consequences are so grave so much so that the victims are often exterminated altogether.

Charity begins at home and you don't need to be a Nobel Economic laureate to see the local economic gloating for its true cheapness. While a section of Kenya brag of hosting more than 90% of Kenyan millionaires, their backyard is littered with abject poverty. The murderous Mungiki is an apt consequence of this HELL-FOR-LEATHER mentality. Simpy put we are in a hole and must stop digging. But again money rules our lives and preaching to the converted is a harlequin task. We can try though.

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What A Pervert!

PSs List is Political Deception Perfected

Depending on which political horse you are ridding Kibaki’s RENAMING of permanent secretaries was either height of political insensitivity or continuation of his fraudulent mandate. Well, to set the stuck record straight he only STOLE the mandate and was reprimanded to cave in to accommodate others. You may take offense with that fact which will unfortunately disappoint you by refusing to mutate into anything else.

In his latest list of permanent secretaries, Kibaki did what he knows best by contemptuously swinging musical chairs on Kenyans’ faces. In the process he created the impression of motion that in reality is bereft of any trace of movement. In Kibaki's warped mind ODM was a politically irritating rat that now is securely trapped following last week's swearing ceremony. That is why he went to KICC to have Rift Valley MPs rubber stamp his official itinerary to visit the IDP camps. In Kibaki’s books the political dogs have bones on their mouths and they have no reason to bark at him.

We live in interesting and challenging times and no straitjacket ideas can move us an inch. Retaining the same old faces betrays Kibaki’s resolve to give Kenyans a new slate to rebuild their lives. In the books of these old blokes reforms remains just a buzzword to be bandied around for political expediency. With no meaningful efforts to restart Kenya, the engine and her passengers will remain at the starting line for ages.

Return to indivisible tribes
Politics of reconciliation and healing lies more in PERCEPTION than bravado and brinkmanship. You may quote all the statutes and laws on this planet but until and unless the ruled feel a sense of belonging and appreciation, you only end up imposing yourself on them. Localized hostility cannot be legislated and only neighbours can wipe it out. Kibaki is not doing the displaced and dead Kenyans any favour by being indignant and insensitive to their plight.

Yes Kenya is a conglomeration of 42 plus tribes, but the present political practice has made the country so fractious so much so that every minister’s face has a tribal tag. With Moi still calling the shorts from without and exploiting the present leadership vacuum, Kenya is in for a very long stretch of nasty political ride. ODM is squarely trapped inside the box as the marionette has all his limbs firmly at the mercy of his cronies. Kibaki can continue driving Kenya to the next available cliff with ODM top leadership as his distraught passengers. It is foolhardy to overlook structures and fast strack resettlement of IDP using force to intimidate. That same force cannot be extended into homes where IDPs will go to.

Curse of Celebrating Half Measures

Kenyans have been reduced to perennially celebrating plastic feats following every self-inflicted crisis in our 45 years history as an independent country. While the whole country was overwhelmed in celebrating a peace deal whose cause needed not happen in the first place, the TRIBAL PRINCIPALS have speedily minted themselves in two sides of the same scoundrel coin.

Our political naivety has left us serially RAPED of our basic rights. Our attention has been cleverly diverted from the ultimate price of unadulterated CONSTITUTION anchored on equity and justice. Meanwhile we are busy overindulging in sideshows as the principals partition our national hearts.

Trust our national calamities to come in doubles. The STOLEN elections were promptly followed by SEXED KCSE ranking. Raping the democratic and professional pillars leaves our national backside not only exposed but stinking to the world with far-reaching devastating consequences. Success premised on DECEPTION at any cost unwittingly seems to be our national forte.

Cheap slogans
Kenyan is headed into the long haul to the pits of self-destruction. The electorate do their bit by ushering in more than 60% of new MPs who amazingly learn the selfish ropes too fast to engage in any course to restore our national pride. All we have are people parading out sweet nothings to soothe the electorates’ egos while the eyes remain singularly trained on feathering their nests.

Change to us means rotating different shapes of asses for the same seat. Just look at the brand new speaker Kenneth Marende defending the obscene MPs’ salary. Learning fast from Kaparo before him Marende has already acquired a forked tongue to effectively warm himself to the bosoms of his subjects.

As Kenyans we are shameless consumers of TOKENISM. Instead of demanding better, we fall over ourselves in licking the bottom of any bowl thrown at us. The 6% economic growth almost succeeded for the decoy it was in persuading us to bend over as the architects pounded us from behind. We are still smarting from the raw wounds.

Make no mistake! We never fail to author high-sounding national policy papers whose spirit and intent are designed to die even before coming off the press. The CDF is a case in point and please spare me the latent insult of a lecture on its noble intention.

Stolen revolution
Kenya is suffering from debilitating effects of botched revolutions. Engaging and appreciating half measures is our bane. We are unrivalled perfectionists of reverse logic. Now the whole nation is a buzz discussing custom-tailored limo for an office yet to be inaugurated. Imagining the price to the taxpayers only leaves the contents of your intestines threatening to explode. The hitherto loudmouths have purchased high density zips for their lips leaving their shameless apologists to masquarade as mind readers.

Two wrongs never made a right and we must remain vigilant in securing the environment that will enable us reclaim our country from the claws of present scoundrels. Our concerns cannot be cheapened to whining. Silence in the face of any crisis is akin to abetting the malice.

The ultimate price of ignoring politics is poor governance whose product is lack of infrastructure for any sustainable growth. We must demand better from our leaders NOW.

Executive Blood Harvesting Season is Here

Two MPs down in under 36 hours. With the death of Ainamoi MP David Kimutai Too, the sharks have their jaws wide open ready to claim their next suitable victim. Kenya is paying the ultimate price of having IMPUNITY as a national and official policy. Why then can't murders take cue from the top and do the necessary to squeeze a life and another there for either speculative passion or official reasons?

Kenya remains a country in both self denial of national deception and steady grand match to self-destruction. No parent cannot stop his kids from misbehaving if he fails do lead by example and from inform. So why would a police constable not execute an MP given a template of a President getting away with daylight ELECTORAL THEFT. For those doubt that fact and shamelessly asko for proof please go back to Mars, you are aliens here on earth.

Ours is a country that has become a theatre of contradiction. Just look at policemen now partnering Mungiki who were hitherto chopping the cops' head a few months ago. Instead the ordinary Kenyan who were up in arms against Mungiki's beheading are now the cannon fodder aka STOPPERS of both police bullets and matchetes. Political fortunes can really change drastically for the less 'INDUSTRIOUS'.

By the way the Kibaki government does no need a manual on political assassination given its composition. They have been there since Pio Gama's death in the 1960s. And with 21st Century technology their work is even make much lighter.

With an 'EFFICIENT' police force that knows the cause of death before it even happens, it couldn't get much politically manageable. Mark you only Kenyan police can afford to tear gas the dead and mourners. Now they have graduated to prescribe infedelity to the dead. That is reversed honour Kenyan style for you.

Well, that is two votes less and woe unto you if you are an ODM MP whose blood attracts and has higher affinity for stray bullets. We haven't seen anything yet, BADO.

Armageddon Begins in Nakuru, Where Next?

The 7-7 police curfew in Nakuru is the beginning of the end. The army are out on duty with predictable results - more bloodshed. It started with Kibaki's ILLEGAL swearing in on December 30, 2007. Seeing no enough blood, Kibaki pressed the blood button yesterday with his 'as your duly elected and sworn in President' remark. Bad faith and insensitivity comes in all shades and shapes, don't they?

To match the mayhem, the death merchants are out roaming the Kenyan streets with their sharpened machetes ready to severe the next head. As Kibaki confines himself to the comfort of State House lawns, Kenya continues to bleed profusely thanks to Kibaki-Michuki-Martha-Wanjui troika. This Kikuyu elite have squarely pitted the house of Mumbi against Kenya.

Kibaki has latently allowed merchants of death to met 'REVENGE' as a show of hollow might with eyes on show of power. But no drainage will be big enough to contain the resulting national haemorrhage. Kenya is crying for leadership to replace the present rulership. Meanwhile Kibaki's apologists may cheaply thumb their chests in brinkmanship oblivious of the fact that the GUILLOTINE monster consumes both the targets and perpetrators.

True Mungiki are agents of death and destruction through terror in Central and Nairobi. But I can assure you they will meet their match in the villages. With the police force not spared the national ethnic tensions it is just a matter of time before all militia acquire guns in sufficient numbers to finish the job. There is no monopoly of militia or vigilantes.

Fighting fire with fire is cheap philosophy. Listening to one Mungiki tweet Dennis Kariuki boasting to a Reuters reporter that "we have vowed that for every Kikuyu killed in Eldoret, we shall kill two Kalenjins who are living in Nakuru," is the beginning of the end. Well, Nakuru is not called the hot bed of Kenyan politics for nothing. For the records Nakuru has its ANCESTRAL OWNERS and the Kalenjins will not leave without a bloody fight.

Last straw
The Armageddon is here. At least most surviving Kenyans have HOMES to turn to once evicted from their HOUSES. What of those whose version of homes and houses is blurred? They have the most to lose and the present belligerence is not doing them any good. Speak of amputating a limb to stop haemorrhage!

The truth is Kibaki's stealing of the election was the last straw that broke Kenya's back. That single selfish act snapped the long-standing tribal tensions. The genesis lies in land disputes and we all know who the beneficiaries are. The camel came, CONQUERED (in fact emasculated) and now want to dominate the natives politically.

Transforming the economic to political might is unacceptable unless the rest of Kenyans silently resign to the stereotypical tag of LAZY and JEALOUS (of dishonesty and deception of course). The HELL-FOR-LEATHER Kenyan 'entrepreneurs' may Shed all shades of crocodile tears whining about lost economic opportunity. But to majority of other Kenyans that is the collateral to pay in quest of JUSTICE.

You can indulge is all the brutal niceties to delay justice but you cannot succeed in 1000 years to deny the same, NEVER. It is and will never be business as usual till an equilibrium (equity) is realized.

Of Kenya's Political and Religious Scoundrels

Kenya's enterprising religious industry saw any opportunity they never cashed in. While the country is bleeding to the last drop, religious zealots are at their best foaming at the mouth in selling CHEAP dogmatic theories with eyes singularly and selfishly trained at exploiting the present hopelessness and insecurities.

Here at Kumekucha, one such peddler, a pastor Douglas Muchiri, posted some concoctions of justification of the present political predicament qualifying it as God's punishment to Kenya. The good (actually fake) man of the collar shamelessly spinned the facade that God in his infinite wisdom saved Kenya Armageddon by using Kivuitu to declare Kibaki the present following the flawed elections.

The REAL God must be very mad as us for invoking his name in vein. No wonder our streets are painted red in our own blood. Reminds one of the miracle campaign to House that ended up being nothing but political con games.

Kenyans must lean to take responsibility of their own political actions and stop seeking cheap and hollow divine refugee after setting their own country ablaze. God for one abhors SLEAZE and you cannot expect HIM to take kindly to our tasteless religious cries.

Seeing Machakos DC Mr John Litunda abdicating his administrative responsibilities and instead admonishing Kenyans for having disregarded Rev Owuor's pre-election warning to repentance as the root cause of the present bloodbath is to extrapolate high school CU sermons into hell. We thought the era of PC Raburu preaching every morning to his juniors in Nyeri were long gone. How things remain the same the more they appear to change?

Kenya's present problem has a known cause which is ELECTION THEFT. No lasting solution will ever be reached if we choose to delude ourselves with cosmetic ventures while skirting the naked truth. Even religious repentance first demands acknowledging your sins.

Justice must and can only be served in black and white. No amount of colouring can wash any of its derivatives. Our God must be really mad us for killing His people and dishonestly turning to him for mercy. Speak of unwittingly inviting a curse unto yourself?

Destrcutive Prayer Come True

Joe represents Kenya’s new face. Urbane, eloquent and opinionated this chap is smart with his rights at his fingertips. So this particular Friday evening (December 28, 2007) Joe came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinking drunk, as he often did. Poor intoxicated Joe creeps into bed beside his wife who was already asleep. He gave her a kiss on the cheek and fell asleep.

On waking up, Johnny’s half-closed eyes encounter a strange sight. Standing at the end of his bed, is a heavily built man wearing a long flowing white robe. "Who the hell are you?" Demanded Joe, "and what business do you have in my bedroom?"

"This isn't your bedroom, and I'm St Peter," came the soulful answer from the mysterious man. Joe was stunned "You mean I'm dead??? That can't be, I have so much to live for, I haven't said goodbye to my family....you've got to send me back Straight away".

St Peter replied "Yes, you can be reincarnated but there is a catch. We can only send you back as a dog or a hen."

Poor Joe was devastated. But knowing there was a farm not far from his house, he asked to be sent back as a hen. A flash of light later he was covered in feathers and clucking around pecking the ground. "This isn't so bad" he thought until he felt this strange feeling welling up inside him.

The farmyard rooster strolled over and said "So you're the new hen? How are you enjoying your first day here?" "It's not so bad" replies Joe, "but I have this strange feeling inside like I'm about to explode". "You're ovulating" explained the rooster. "Don't tell me you've never laid an egg before". "Never" replies Joe. "Well just relax and let it happen", says the rooster.

And so he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg pops out from under his tail. An immense feeling of relief swept over him and his emotions got the better of him as he experienced motherhood for the first time.

When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was Overwhelming and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that ever happened to him ... ever!!!

The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg he felt an enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his wife shouting... "Joe, wake up you drunken bastard, you're sh*tting in bed!!"

Moral of the story: Watch out what you wish for and don't take it for granted. In fullness of time it may turn out to be the noose around your neck.