AG: Kibaki, Raila Continues the Toxic Tribal Fest

Call it what you wish but nominating Githu Muigai for AG the same day Agnes Odhiambo and Edward Ouko were nominated as Controller of Budget and Auditor General respectively smack off blatant and shameless political horse trading. There would be no better way to polarize Kenya than see the BIG CATS share the spoils at the expense of the rest.

Make no mistake, the nominees have superlative qualifications but the you cannot prevent that rotten air of something up the sleeves of the appointing authority.

And true to Kenya's reputation, we were handed a morsel in Willy Mutunga and before we could even say STUD there we have the kings of impunity suffocating Kenyans with their ethnic choices to key offices.

The position of AG is such an integral office for all forms and shapes of governance so much so that all the previous heinous frauds like Goldenberg and Anglo Leasing can as well mutate and acquire new lives of their own secure in the knowledge that the perpetrators remain untouchable.

Wako may have smiled his tenure for nearly two decades but the self betrayal of hitherto brilliant resume is a warning sign of what disaster such people foment in service of the powers they serve. One would have expected Prof Githu Muigai to act when his name was dragged in mud in a previous nomination. But alas, some are more equal and more imporatnt than the rest. He remain the singular beneficiary after the rest in the list were sacrificed.

Interviews for the Chief justice raised the bar so high it appears the only way to go was down. This is evident from the shameless handpicking by the two principals which smells of deadly tribal fumes. Those hiding under paper qualification above the true and practical Kenyan politics are living very beautiful lies.

Githu Migai may have been among Mutanga's first cohort of law students but the later must not be naive to know who calls the tune and pays the piper. The bottom line is CALCULATIVE JUDICIAL GATE KEEPING. All is smokescreen. Amos' smile may be gone but we as well learn to live with Wako repackaged, MTA DO?.

Of Drug Barons, Rogue Envoy and Poisoned ICC

Kudos to Juja MP William Kabogo for being smart enough and not naive to provoke an EXCUTIVE foul mood.

Only in Kenya do you find the title Honourable before the name of a drug baron. And the Kenyan voter love them while the Diaspora applaud the bling bling MPs as hard working. Woe unto you envious, lazy mortals for questioning the source of their wealth. Make no mistake, these monsters rule us from both sides of the political divide.

The Muslim clerics crying foul about drug abuse at the Coast finds themselves in a catch 22 with Joho and Punjani named as prime drug pushers. Mark you Ali Punjani donated a cool KES 6m cash and Joho 1m to President Kibaki during the Lamu fund raiser. That tells you alot about the dearth and/or abuse of intelligence and integrity among our leaders. These smart alecs know when to stealthily buy political insurance from the safest and most powerful covers.

Before we foam at the mouth shouting imperialism and neo-colonialism, we must accept that it was one ROGUE Michael Renneberger who belled these wild cats. It would be business as usual without the envoy's dossier. Meanwhile Kenyan youth would continue imbibing narcotics and transforming themselves into zombies as the drug barons laugh their way to the banks.

Exposing so-called honourable MPs as drug barons is the strongest proof of our rotten politics. Our hell-for-leather mentality manifested in blind worship for monetary success at whatever cost comes with very destructive consequences. But who cares when we envy Kabogo's and Mwau's choppers as they buy the voters' conscience with dirty money? I guess sharing comes in different forms and shapes.

The genesis of impunity is failure to hold people to account. And the tribal kings know Kenyans better. Just look at the chorus to withdraw Kenya from ICC to save just six out of 40m people - forget about the eyesore that is the IDPs. With the exported villagers aka Diaspora dusting up their local loyalties, the war on impunity was lost even before it all began.

Luis Moreno-Ocampo may have been a professor at Harvard but Kenya's political class will serve him his deadliest Waterloo. Remember we had a professor of realpolitik who never had a degree (tell it to the birds!). You don't have to be a neurologist to imagine Ruto's fraud case expedited and possibly (artificially) jailed locally and Ocampo is left chasing his own tail.

Poor Amigo Moreno is better advised that Kenya has its owners. And lest he forgets, Kenya is not Sudan or Liberia or Serbia. He hasn't seen the last of this thriller made and directed by real and true kings of impunity. Sovereignty my foot!

The Hague Express: One More Year of Impunity

ICC prosecutor Moreno Ocampo would faint from massive bear hugs from our politicians were he to visit Nairobi. Now that he has given them 12 months to politically exhale, they will engage top gear in plotting to defeat the same justice ICC has instructed them to institute. Welcome to coloured impunity made and practiced in Kenya.

The mayhem and near-Armageddon of last year sounds so far removed that the predictable apocalypse awaiting us in 2012 will make it look like a walk in the park. Make no mistake, a new constitution as shouted by all and sundry is no panacea to our bandit politics. Just drop any saint into the soup of Kenyan politics and s/he will emerge evil than Lucifer.

Our problem is not archaic laws but IMPUNITY from our rulers. To them Kenya has been and continues to be their estate and we owe them rent. They will rape and milk her till the last drop of blood. We are led by zombies who hide under delegation to as a disguise to give free hand to tribal looters.

All the cheap rants of hiding behind hollow sovereignty only succeeds in giving the rulers free pass to score all forms of fraudulent goals at our collective expense. We deride ICC as synonymous to neo-colonialism demanding equal treatment from US who are not signatories to Rome convention. At least they have working institutions and even the POTUS’ actions are limited to senate’s approval unlike our personalized RULERSHIP.

Chopping block
The bottom line is that we are paying the ultimate prize of democracy bastardized. The international community saved us from the last gunshots by the scoundrels. Only the ICC can guarantee objective blind application the law no matter how long it takes. Otherwise the 2007 rehearsal will produce unrivalled quality theatre of bloodbath come 2012.

Only in Kenya do we entertain fallacies of opposition rigging election. To us the shamelessness of security in deceptive numbers is superlative logic. We are victims of greed and the chronic lack of political is the beast waiting to consume us all. To the political hyenas, Kenyans are simply the collective collateral their carnivorous lifestyle.

Ocampo must better advised to prepare for massive disappointment. The kings of impunity will not foolishly place their heads on the chopping block. The faster the 12 months run out the better. Hague Express must leave the station soonest filled with the deserved passengers.

Police Boss Major Ali Sacked, Good Riddance

That is took the GSU rape orgy of KU female students to have Major Ali fired was sweet revenge served cold. The ex-commissioner had no qualms feigning ignorance on camera whether his charges used live bullets or not. He shamelessly even had the guts to deny any death despite facts to the contrary.

While the barbaric and orgy of massive destructive by KU students must be roundly condemned, the predictable police reactions betrays any trace of civilization from our law enforcement officers. Major Ali has eventually paid for his professional sins of omissions and commissions but we still have a long way to go in terms of modern, effective and civilized law enforcement.

So PC Ali is gone, what next? Without any doubt the shakeup at vigilance House will have far reaching effects. The Mungiki gangs will most likely want to have their pound of flesh extracted from their hither EXECUTIONER IN CHIEF. Add to that Major Ali’s bravado in telling Kenyans to accept disputed polls of 2007 and threatening fire which he promptly delivered thereafter following the chaos.

On a positive note, the comish can now have time to patronize and REGULATE Kameme enterprises from close range and recharge appropriately. But the firing authority may not be sitting pretty for fear of Major Ali spilling the beans. You see Iron Lady Martha is in good company and her gliding mouth will not be zipped anytime soon let the worms come out crawling.

Major Ali may be gone but he was just a cog in the steely wheel of IMPUNITY. Kenya’s gatekeepers will not lose any sleep for lack of any locks. We haven’t seen anything yet. Na bado.

Lords of Impunity, Return of the Arturs

Like father like son so they say. Al Saadi Gaddafi came to Kenya and secure in the knowledge that we have sold our soul to his father he ran roughshod right from the airport after disembarking from the private jet with his mother in tow.

That Gaddafi Senior has total contempt for Kenya is not in any doubt. After auction our country to him before the last bungled elections, the King of kings treat us as the rag that we are. And why not when the highest bidder came to our rescue at the time of dire traits in need of election funds?

Al Saadi had our security men eating from his hand. The prince was accorded all the state security and even extended the handshake past the elbow when he demanded to use his riffle to shoot game at Maasai Mara. And the visit couldn’t have come at a better time for Kenyan get keepers when artificially engineered hunger fraud consumed all our attention.

Gaddafi is on a mission to bastardize the BLACK CONTINENT with his grandiose pet project of United States of Africa. In true Kenyan spirit he bought 200 tribal chiefs from all over Africa to crown him KING OF KINGS just before assuming AU chairmanship. And when he did he dropped the bombshell from Libyan template of democracy dolled in single party.

One can only imagine what OBJECTIVE role Gaddafi would have played were he the AU chair during last years PEV. Thank God for small mercies for the LEADER would have done everything to protect his interests and prop up those owing him plenty in hitherto glamorous Grand Regency deals and all its derivatives.

Moral authority
Fraud strips you of all traces of moral authority and Gaddafi knows it better. He came to Uganda early last year not only to open the regions biggest mosque but he had his eyes singularly trained on payback cheque from his Kenyan debtors. Damn the grim bloodshed then within out shows and the beneficiaries knew better than upset supreme king. They went to Kampala to negotiate postponement of pay. No wonder the GR couldn’t wait to be rebranded LAICO despite the intense heat it generated from within.

Armed with the right dossier of our culpability, Al Saadi came calling the shots. His bravado and trashing of our security apparatus was a re-enactment of Artur brothers II. Well history is unkind to those who refuse to learn from it in making sure such poor souls repeat it at a painful cost.

We haven’t seen anything yet from the ENTERPRISING rulers and their cronies. Al Saadi just outdid the scoundrel in the obtuse impunity game..

Medieval Politics: Leaflets and Rent-a-Mouth

That the more things change the more they remain the same wouldn’t have been more apt adage in describing the Government’s desperate move to lift itself out of the deep hole it plunged into. Alfred Mutua has re-invented his Turbo-charged mouth in creative leaflets authored to EDUCATE Kenyans on the merits of media censorship.

True, desperate moments calls for desperate measures. But Mutua and his masters must have been blinded by their cheap optimism that Kenyans will buy their gimmick. Granted, the media is not without blemish but no leader ever successfully fought the fourth estate. Only in Kenya can politicians shamelessly re-invent the non-circular wheel and ride on the falsehood. If anything, the global time–tested and tried practice of media self-regulation militates against speedy economic returns.

We are back to political medieval times. What with rent a mouth youths on the ready to congratulate the king on how immaculately he is dressed in his birthday suit. Now we understand that not only here at Kumekucha do we have easily excitable Kenyans. They are in good company ready with oiled lips and joints to dance themselves lame to old lyrics from a broken record.

There are leaders and spineless politicians. Forget the hollow defence from Kibaki’s apologists that he did what he had to do after the MPs handed him the bill. There is leadership and responsibility and above all else having the hindsight to act in tandem with national mood. A responsible parent will not serve a hungry kid poison to calm him down.

Impunity patented
One Lucy must be still be enjoying her sleep after receiving the sweetest and most priceless New Year present from her sweetheart. Her nocturnal escapade at the newsroom has been taken a notch higher and what is more, it is LEGAL. That is a personal war won at the altar of royal expediency. The media must be ruing their antics to paint ogres in all the rainbow colours.

Signing the Communication Bill amounts to institutionalizing our pricey national vice of IMPUNITY. Kenya has her gate keepers and damn the IDP families who are spoiling the party in demanding decent burial to their loved ones. True entrepreneurship includes doing commerce with corpses. And why not expand the virtue if carpenters can do it honestly at the lower end?

But Kenyans must remain realistic and alive to the truism that no progress can come out a leadership singularly defined by deception. Fraud begets only more fraud and its derivatives. We are back to the starting point and the torturous circular journey continues. We better sample the Arabic wisdom in having smart mouths that never invite stinking flies by knowing when to shut up.

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Media Bill Product of Living National Lie

Tenth Parliament served the media sweet cold revenge marinated in the Kenya Communication (Amendment) Bill. And the Kenyan media must have seen it coming after their spirited exposure of the MPs’ lust and opposition to have their salaries taxed. Welcome to Kenyan politics and way of life where national good only stretches as far as personal aggrandizement.

This must be a very delicious pre-Christmas meal to the media just as we mark 45 years of independence whose tenets have been reduced to serve personal interest at the expense of the national good. Our myopic politicians may have just tightened the noose around their own necks albeit unwittingly so. They may smile from ear to ear cheating themselves that they have eventually nailed the press oblivious of the fact that the scribes will be their first port of call when they are out of political favour.

The present political class have summarily disabused us of the hitherto call for fresh political faces. They have proved no different from Shariff Nassirs of yore. Their selfish antics is an arrogant confirmation that all the high-sounding rhetoric were nothing but decoys meant to blind us from their ambitions to replace the eating at the table of impunity.

But again they are not alone. We have seen right here bigots clothe their tirades in unrivalled eloquence that redefines learned demagogy.

The good old adage that all that goes around comes around mean nothing to our political elite. A simple historical lesson would inform them that then Vice-President Kibaki ARTICULATELY seconded Njonjo’s 1982 bill to make Kenya an official dictatorship only to RUE his misplaced with and ELOQUENCE during his long stint in opposition politics.

Poisoned eloquence
Freedom is never granted but instedad it is bitterly and painfully fought for. Forget the entire fad that Kibaki has given Kenya the present freedom they enjoy. Times have changed and people have commensurately raised the bar. Only our politicians still draw pleasure and pride in primitive gimmicks.

Legalizing police raids on media house is akin to watering the seed of political incest where the Government would pretend to police itself in Parliament. Well, the politicians have selfishly made the bed and must accept to lie of it with all the thorns sprouting underneath. Self-regulation with independent arbiters is the practice the world over to have media remain responsible but not in Kenya.

That Kenya will never be the same after last year’s bungled election is no cliche. The truism that life changes fast and furiously and the villains of today can easily be tomorrow’s victims cannot be gainsaid. Double standards remain our bane to national progress.

Only Kenyans joyfully live the national lie in killing institutions and turn around to decry dearth of the same even before the burial ceremony if over. The Artur brothers must be exposing their post molars in obtuse exhilaration at the present turn of events.

Superlative Impunity Galore

So Justice GBM Kariuki steps out of his official (tax payers) Mercedes Benz and engages his primitive instinct to stab Robert Karori in the stomach and still keeps his job as dispenser of justice? Some things can only happen in Kenya. But again IMPUNITY has become our middle name as a country.

It will come as no surprise to see people here predictably shouting presumed innocent till proven guilty. Being a High Court judge requires and demands purity and clarity of both character and thought. All the legal tribunal niceties only soothes egos at the expense of bloodying public opinion which is everything when it comes to matters judicial.

It takes superlative imagination to comtemplate an a robbed murderer convicting a petty thief in Kericho court tomorrow. Well, with the top leadership epitomizing impunity personified, Justice Kariuki is in safe company. The Chief Justice who is constitutionally mandated to write to Kibaki about Kariuki’s conduct and recommend a tribunal is himself a master of the same malice as evident in his midnight swearing in of the duly elected.

Wenye inchi
Civilized societies respect and remain sensitive to the court of public opinion. Thank God we have never even pretended to subscribe to membership of such a society. For industrious Kenyans that would be a needless pain that has no bankable rewards while you can auction a whole country as her citizen cheer you on.

Surely some animals are more equal than other but in Kenya these privileged animals OWN all the rest, mta do?

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Waki Shames the Devil, Starts War on Impunity

Justice Waki has proved being Kenyan and having his fingers on the country’s pulse. While Kriegler skirted around the causes post election violence, Waki and his commissioners have not only named names but let a noose hanging precariously over the present kings of impunity.

At the heart of Waki’s recommendations is the resolve to address IMPUNITY as epitomized by Kibaki’s regime. Faint hearted Kibaki’s political apologists may not like it but reading Waki’s report leaves no doubt Kibaki is singularly to blame for his singular resolve to concentrate on bungling last year’s elections having known before hand the outcome.

That anything premised on DECEPTION is eternally unsustainable couldn't have proved more true. No amount of serial and shameless propaganda that Kibaki's cronies crafted to dovetail into tribal stereotypes will wash. The facts are stack and Waki has tactfully given Kibaki the leeway owing to FRAUDULENT incumbency to clear his act for a better Kenya.

The Hague option was Kibaki to fail in setting up a tribunal to try and punish IMPUNITY is not an empty threat. With daring Hague prosecutor Ocampo Moreno breathing fire on neighboring Bashir, the stakes couldn’t have been higher. Waki has expertly managed to juggle diplomacy in calling his appointing authority bluff without loosing sight and fidelity with the truth.

No more gimmicks
Waki has measured up to the calling and expectation in telling the king he is nude and not immaculately dressed as his cronies would want him to believe. But don’t count your chicks yet given Kenya’s reputation to defend the impossible. Soon we won’t be surprised when PNU troops start trumpeting Waki’s report as revenge act to his dismissal from the bench on corruption allegation which he successfully challenged before being reinstated.

Whatever the gimmicks, Waki has started the guillotining machine rolling downhill and beckoning our masters of impunity. By indicting our security agencies for their role in murdering people they are employed to protect, Waki has left no doubt where the buck stops.

Waki’s verdict disabuses us of the hitherto penchant to embrace anything from outside especially from the so-called whites. The die is cast and the reign of impunity is speedily hurtling to unceremonious and shameful demise thanks to Waki’s selflessness.

Time is ticking and soon there will be no corners (commissions) to cut. Waki's commission is like no other and the circumstances have dramatically changed. The cumulative wages of national sin is simply incalculable but somebody must pay. It only remains a matter of when and not if.


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Verdict: The Hague is Beckoning

Justice Waki may have tempered his language to avoid bruising political egos, but the thrust of his verdict lies in the fine print that most Kenyans will conveniently ignore as they shout themselves hoarse in chasing shadows. The report lays bare the root cause of post election violence as LACK OF LEADERSHIP that is/was singularly enshrined in IMPUNITY. But trust Kenyans to shamelessly cheer their tribal chiefs even when they are all collectively led to the edge of a cliff.

The verdict on NSIS is damning. No country runs without a dependable intelligence service and ours is reputed as one of the best on this side of the planet. The NSIS knew about the suffocating tension before the polls but their interest rested elsewhere secure in the knowledge about the voting pattern and outcome. Gichangi and his team disregarded professionalism to pay back the piper. His only grave mistake was use of old models based on stereotypes while chronically underestimating the resolve and anger of Kenyans collectively.

The truth is that right from 2005 referendum, Kibaki knew his political fate and he consequently played it safe while scheming to have the last laugh. Not until events took unpredictable turn and not even the NSIS could sermon any quick fix from its reservoir of magic in containing the fast escalating superhighway to apocalypse. Waki has painted it in black and white that Kibaki obtusely failure to offer POLITICAL leadership in his first term as president.

Waki couldn’t have been more candid. Our problems were more political than anything else. And the good judge didn’t mince his words in declaring that Kibaki failed to unite the country. Instead Emilio and his cronies allowed feelings of marginalization to fester into the inevitable post-election violence. The import of that is that Kibaki’s actions and omissions raped him of moral legitimacy which fueled national animosity only in need of a less than civilized contest to explode. And in deed we have lived to tell the story.

So what next or where do we go from here? Well, nothing and nowhere actually. Our short memory and selfish clarion call to MOVE ON will soon relegate this explosive report to the archives. We have no institution to speak of and the office bearers have no legitimacy either. We remain a country held hostage at the whims of scoundrels hell-bent on feathering their nests at our collective peril. Maybe by tracing the origins of PEV to 2002 MOU, even Waki refused to move on. On the contrary he is latently warning about the perils of DECEPTION.

Handsome rewards of impunity.
Even the cabinet’s adoption of Kriegler’s report was a gimmick to create an impression of motion with no commensurate movement. The composition of the sub-committee couldn’t have been more revealing with the same faces still smarting from distrust and raw anger at each other. The headlines may as well be the apt obituaries of these reports.

With no political or moral BALLS to confront challenges, the present leaders have bequeathed on us the curse of living a national lie in postponing Armageddon. But the truth never mutates and the lives of more than 1500 Kenyans were not lost in vein. Well, cheap political shots often derive pleasure in trivializing those lives as mere statistics with their pedestrian accusations.

Nothing lasts forever and one day and very soon the real perpetrators of these murders will ultimately pay for their crime singularly or severally. It is only a matter of time and only a Nairobi or Hague tribunal will appease those departed souls

Kibaki is not Mugabe, So Tsvangirai Move on

Zimbabwe’s opposition leader Morgan Tsvangirai may have meant well calling on Kenya to seek first hand experience in Grand Coalition Government negotiations and formation. However, the MDC leader would be better advised that the dynamics in the two countries are very different. The similarities and differences almost balance each other albeit on grand different premises.

For starters, Tsvangirai must accept the fact that Mugabe exhibited utmost civility in ALLOWING win the first round of Zimbabwe election in March. But he must not have been naive to imagine that Bob would just sit back and wish him well like that with so much at stake. Mugabe only did the most logical thing in bettering Kibaki’s script by mating MAXIMUM and unrestrained IMPUNITY that automatically pushed poor out of the run off in June.

You see Kibaki is not Mugabe. Here in Kenya we tally votes in advance and swear in pronto unlike coward Bob who made history with his patience by counting votes for a whole month. Poor Tsvangirai also appears ignorant to the fact that Mbeki is not Annan save for the striking physical resemblance. He lost the plot by playing by the rules which allowed Mugabe to assume the reigns of power and hence negotiate from unequal premise. But again may be MDC would have better imported ODM gang if only for Zanu-PF’s bludgeoning.

Grand impunity perfected
That said, similarities galore between the Zimbabwe and Kenya political predicaments. Already Mugabe is destined to convene parliament in breach of SADC’s MOU. That must make our rush to name half the cabinet familiar. Add that to the fact that Arthur Mutambara of the breakaway MDC is waiting on the wings salivating to fill the void should Morgan continue to play hard ball. And for the records Simba Makoni is still around for Bob's attention.

Poor Tsvangirai is in very unenviable position. He is sandwiched between the political hell and the dark blue sea. He must be alive to the fact that the executive power he is demanding remains a very emotive and hot issue even in our six-month old GCG. Meanwhile Bob must be laughing all the way to Grace’s belly secure in the knowledge that he is in good company within our continent. Surely we are mere tenants on these geographical entities we can our countries. Our countries have their owners lest we forget.