Now Kenya Exports Shuttle Diplomacy to Africa

That Kenya always scores a first in the Africa continent is given. Barely a week after VP Kalonzo's shuttle diplomacy to secure Africa support in pulling out of ICC, troubled Cote d'Ivore has launched charm offensive to legitimize the DULY ELECTED President Laurent Gbagbo.

Forget about all that cheap game of semantic on referral and deferral. We are sovereign and if not conquering the world with toxic tribalism, we are expanding the sphere of intellectual fraud. Even Gbagbo knows the wide rift between our leaders and what a better way to exploit the same to advance his brand of democracy.

Toothless AU can scream till her voice turns hoarse but Gbagbo knows where to seek similar and useful support. Kenya and Zimbabwe are automatic stops. Here we had a mediator who was set by AU to fix him after deriding the same AU as ineffective. That was an apt case study of helping make a sturdy noose for your own round neck.

Our very own Samuel Kivuitu's electoral manual has proved such a continental bestseller. All that heat about AU position had no trace of light. AU must must have been mad to imagine that any CREDIBLE leader would negotiate himself out of power. And lest they forget, Gbagbo is in very good company. The noise makers can willfully buy a one-way ticket to refurbished hell.

It is a pity nobody is listening to Gbagbo's explanation about electoral irregularities during the disputed presidential elections in his country. Here is a leader, just like our own Kibaki, who crying to be heard after refusing to play dirty. Only such unrivaled democrats can allow massive electoral fraud by the opposition without unleashing state power on them.

Shuttlemaster
We have been there. Sending special advisers to African capitals is an old trick. You only need to remind yourself of Kenya's own charm offensive after the 2007 polls to secure continental acceptance. Gbagbo is right, the Independent Electoral Commission only gives provisional results. We must learn to respect institutions and accept that Ivory Coast's constitutional court has the sole mandate of declaring the poll winner.

Only Ivorians voted and the so-called international community must shut up and leave them alone. The President-Pretend Allassane Ouattara must accept the verdict of the electorate and stop causing more suffering. True, Kenya may have been saved from stewing in her own blood but the international resources are limited.

Gbagbo has rejected mediator Raila and is in order to send and emissary to the ultimate boss/CEO. The truth is Raila had no mandate of his own but to deliver the poisoned chalice of negotiating Gbagbo's safe exit. Now that the noose has snapped and with the AU summit looming, Gbagbo's masterstroke has pitted PNU against ODM which will buy him the much-needed political space. NA BADO.

The Price of Cheap, Tribal Political Expediency

As Obama prepares to seal history with his inauguration, Kenyan leaders are left EXPOSED for the lies they excel in selling their people and the world. We have had three presidents whose modus operandi betrays all tenets of objectivity and staying on message leave alone living to actualize the same.

Political expediency and ethnic considerations are singular ingredients defining both past and present regimes. All the accolades we throw Obama’s are typical of Kenyans’ fraudulent ways to gain acceptance and be associated with ideas they never intend to practice.

Obama’s campaign was premised on hope and all his actions so far remain true to those ideals. Mouthing platitudes in one gift we have a plenty these shored of ours. We were the most hopeful country in the world at the beginning of 2003 when Kibaki came firing on all deceptive cylinders. No sooner had ecstatic Kenyans shouted FLEECING than the true gate keepers re-invented their DNA and emerged with the hose pipes to extinguish our national dream.

The present corruption CRAZE is all traceable to that empty drive to fight the vice. In five years, the fruit of corruption has proved not only sumptuous but also irresistibly. The mad race to auction any remaining valuable within Kenyan borders must be completed within the next 48 months.

The moral high ground to fight corruption was lost ages ago when Anglo Leasing became the defining scandal. Add to acute lack of leadership from top understand why every minister is using tried and tested Asians connections to raid their dockets for any valuables.

The present spate of mega corruptions fall perfectly well in Kenya’s rotten template where acrid smell of grand fraud brewed in the seclusion of boardrooms hit our noses just after elections. The present OFFICIAL ROBBERS had the right signal when the king of impunity chose to stick to his smelly confidants after cosmetic laundering and predictable clearance by other equally gullible arms of State.

Conning God
The message was clear: CORRUPTION PAYS HANDSOMELY for the industrious Kenyan. The risk is no more than contempt for those with unfortunate DNA and the shame to distract entrepreneurs.

What do you make of a President shamelessly cheapens such basic laws as mandatory retirement age for civil servants. Security in numbers (hata wewe) remains the cheap mental justification for all these scandal as ministers outdo each other in their schemes to milk cow Kenya.

We can fool ourselves all the mush we want but nobody outside our borders will buy our crap. Our deceptive gimmick to declare Obama holiday has been exposed for what it was. All we have to show for it is the loud embarrassment gracing the faces of pretenders. It amounts to dancing yourself lame to a broken record before the real melody begins.

As creative apologists to the present regime shamelessly spread the embarrassment along, the gate keepers are busy taking over Kenya. In the meantime the national hemorrhage continues as tribal leaders open the big national veins in search of gems. It is all about character, stupid.

Only in Kenya can you find leaders scandalizing God by extending the high school salvation gimmicks to the national arena. Soon God may as well call their bluff. No amount of pretense in re-inventing the wheel will wash any of our deceptive traits.

Perils of Living Expensive, Painful Political Lie

The burden of living an electoral lie continues to pile on our back. The shouts to move on may casually appears objective but the startling revelations and confessions from last year’s poll officials is like a screw riveting into a healing wound. So are we living a political lie in the hope that time as the good old adage puts it is a healer?

Judge Kriegler's electoral postmortem probe team is resuscitating the dead and the pain is unbearable. The Changamwe Constituency’s returning officer must have considered it extremely humorous admitting that he erroneously gave Kibaki 9,366 votes while Emilio actually garnered 15,151 votes. To rub it on the RO shamelessly concedes that he mistakenly recorded 17,706 votes for Raila’s instead of the correct tally of 29,648. Leaves you wondering which base he was using in his arithmetic.

It would have be forgivable if the electoral FRAUD was limited to isolated cases and committed by junior staff. Well, hold your breathe for the bombshell revelation that the ECK boss Samuel Kivuitu himself announced the presidential results before results from 31 constituencies were officially verified. That is almost 15% of Kenyan’s 210 electoral constituencies locked out or discarded while declaring Kenya’s president for the next 60 months.

Numbers don't lie
In Changamwe return officer’s mind it must have been an act of unrivalled honesty to simply explain his criminal act as a mere mistake reminding Judge Kriegler for good measure that to error is human. Smart rigging takes place many months ahead of the polls itself. Mr Sheikh Aman was handed his RO job without any interview in present day Kenya and he had to deliver. You can bet your next lunch that he was not the only Aman in the whole scheme.

ECK’s IT team ordered laptops and trained ROs six months before the poll only to advice on the reliability of manual tallying. That is enterprising Kenyans killing numerous birds with no stone. You see the taxpayers purchase the computers which are not used, trainers pocket the allowance for doing nothing and more importantly you create the impression of work done and meet the ultimate objective THEFT.

So what is the price of stealing an election? Simple answer UNQUANTIFIABLE. Our future generation will continue to pay the steep price. Leaves you wondering who is fooling who in this whole fiasco. If only we were honest and took the singular bold step to correct the bleeding wrong by conducting FRESH and FAIR elections. Well, dream on. That is a risky gamble no enterprising Kenya will engage in given its guaranteed gloomy returns.

Insulting democracy
That two wrongs never made a right has been more true. Justifying the bungled elections with the hollow argument that both sides stole except the better thief won is flawed logic at best and an insult to democracy at worst. Unless we shun our DECEPTIVE ways and confront the truth head on, the charade will continue cascading and mutating into ugly monster waiting to collectively gobble the last Kenyan left standing.