Party of the Year: Raila’s Homecoming

The Kibaki succession soap opera is expected to move a notch higher this weekend when ODM captain and the man many people widely believe defeated Kibaki at the presidential poll, Raila Odinga, heads to Nyanza and Western Provinces to host a series of significant events at his rural homes in Nyanza in celebrating his homecoming.

According to sources privy to the arrangements, the ODM has laid down elaborate plans for Raila’s homecoming ceremony expected to run for the entire coming weekend from May 10 to 12, culminating with putting in an appearance at the home of the Minister for Fisheries Development, Mr. Paul Otuoma in Funyula, Western province. The guest list reads like who-is-who in Kenya’s political and business circles. The entire ODM pentagon, the party’s NEC, the yet to be disbanded presidential campaign team and a distinguished mix of local and overseas visitors are expected to grace the occasion including the flamboyant Ukambani politican John Harun Mwau. Unconfirmed reports indicate that the Guest of Honour will be none other than President Mwai Kibaki. Although the V-P Kalonzo Musyoka has been officially invited, he is unlikely to attend and risk being fried alive (read: embarrassed) by Ngilu and Mwau who are his Ukambani political archrivals, not to mention prospects of facing the thousands Raila’s fanatical supporters drawn mainly from Kondele and Obunga slums who, unlike IDPs in Eldoret, have nothing to lose and will not hesitate to heckle the V-P who is deemed as a man who has been out to politically frustrate ODM.

Not since the NDP/KANU merger rally in Kisumu a decade ago has the region witnessed such momentous organization. A committee that includes the Kisumu Mayor and the Nyanza OCPD has been meeting regularly to ensure everything goes according to plan. Hotels and commercial flights to Kisumu are fully booked for the weekend although a good number of guests are expected to land at Kisumu airport in personal and chartered aircraft.

The region is currently bracing itself to give ‘their son’ a thunderous homecoming following his well planned and highly publicized but abortive presidential bid. To the people of Nyanza, the president will hardly visit the area unless he is coming for official state functions. Things were not made easier for the president that his relations with Raila were not the best ever since the collapse of the NARC coalition following the trashing of the MOU. The president himself, as candidate in 2007, did not campaign in the area and even his own lieutenants planned but completely failed to address a single campaign rally in the Luo Nyanza region.

Political observers opine that these homecoming events are just but political rallies aimed at flexing political muscles. High on the agenda at Raila’s homecoming, will be the explosive issue of the still unresolved pecking order in the higher echelons of government.

Interestingly Ababu Namwamba, the ODM MP for Budalangi, and a long time admirer/supporter of Raila Odinga, yesterday successfully sort and got permission to introduce a bill in parliament aimed at establishing an official opposition. Although Raila himself has on several occasions spoken against forming an official opposition in a grand coalition, Raila is not - by all means - a politician who was born yesterday and he very well may be the one behind the clever actions of one Ababu Namwamba. ODM’s unfinished business (read: taking over the reins of power in Kenya) is still well within grasp; and despite the diplomacy and smiles exhibited by its leaders some of whom are now in cabinet, the ultimate goal of the party is to ensure that it becomes the ruling party in Kenya – on or before December 2012. In prevailing circumstances, there is no other way in toppling this government except through parliament where incidentally, the party has significant control through both the Speaker and Deputy Speaker's posts.

Many people doubt this, but anxiety in PNU has not gone unnoticed by keen political observers. The forthcoming by-elections in 5 constituencies are due in a month and they will be a litmus test for the stability and future of the grand coalition cabinet. President Kibaki’s PNU (which in reality does not have a single MP in the house) is a coalition that exists only by name and is nowhere near assembling its campaign machinery for the forthcoming mini-general elections. Looking at the agenda 1,2,3&4 on the Annan peace roadmap, it really reads like ODM’s 2007 manifesto. DPM and ODM Vice Captain Musalia Mudavadi led the ODM delegation to the Annan talks and the agenda was obviously because of their influence.

It therefore should not surprise any Kenyan that the ODM is behind the moves to create an official opposition in parliament even though its leaders are serving in government as cabinet ministers. The reality is that the opposition will have much more liberty to propagate party policies, oppose legislation umwanted by ODM as well as expose government scandals because ODM cabinet ministers are tied by the draconian oath of collective responsibility in cabinet!

Raila arrived back in the country earlier this week, after a spell in South Africa, where he met with the anti-apartheid icon Nelson Mandela, his wife Graca as well as the leader of Zimbabwe's Movement for Democratic Change, Morgan Tsvangirai. Prior to that, he had been in Germany, where he had undergone laser eye surgery.


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Liverpool Goes Red as Chelsea Sees Blue

The grand slam Sunday left bitter taste in the mouths of Chelsea and Liverpool fans. Billed grand slam because the so-called big four English Premier League clubs play each other to avoid any whiff of match fixing nor advantage, the weekend games never disappointed.

Starting at Anfield Carlos Tavez drew blood for Manchester United and the noise from Merseysiders didn't translate into any solace as Liverpool went down 1-0. And that made United top the table but it only lasted for under three hours.

William Gallas spoilt Grant's party of being unbeaten as Chelsea Manager i 14 successive matches. The 1-0 scoreline for Arsenal brought back Mourinho's ghost given that Arsenal NEVER defeated Chelsea during Jose's tenure as boss from 2004.

That Arsenal did not beat Chelsea during Jose Mourinho's entire tenure as Blues manager but have defeated Avram Grant's team at the first attempt was loaded massage pregnant with the personality and presence of the SPECIAL ONE.

So with the Blues literally seeing the sky colour 10 and 9 points adrift Gunners and United respectively, the title race may just be shaping up into a two-horse race between the two. But it may not be over till it over.

Despite some resilience and power play by Sheva, Drogba's absence was so loud that Grant must be cursing under his own breath what evil became of the Ivorian. No wonder the Drog earned a fourth place berth as Kaka pipped Ronaldo and Messi to clinch Fifa footballer of the year 2007 award.

Jose Mourinho Too Special for England

Jose Mourinho has elevated his 'SPECIAL ONE' tag to new heights. By rejecting the England Manager's job Jose has intelligently called them bluff and set the bar too high.

His decision almost makes the position of England manager become a jinx of sorts. By Mourinho doing another Big Phil (Brazilian Portugal manager Luis Felipe Scolari), the FA has been left with eggs on their face shredding the English pride like never before.

History is repeating itself right before our eyes in less than 15 months. Just like the the FA turned to second best Steve McClaren in 2006, so will they will have to suffer constipation from misplaced pride.

The FA has no choice but to settle for the diminutive and successful Italian Fabio Capello who despite limited English has an impressive CV with six trophies for every club he has managed from AC Milan to Real Madrid.

Jose must be well aware of his CV and what a better way to showcase personal pride rolled in tangible success. His energy would have been underutilized in being a national coach. The versatility would have hi bottle like a caged lion.

And so the search for England coach continues after unmasking the facade of fidelity to the Union Jack's flag.

Africa's Top Five Kings of Leather

The five shortlisted top 5 African footballers for the year 2007 could as well be described predictable. Who can fault the Drog with his appetite and thirst for goals or 'new' Thiery Henry in Emmanuel Adebayor?

Essien's physical presence is almost become synonymous with Chelsea and we already had Samuel Eto as the face of World cup 2010 to be staged in South Africa. While Kanoute may not be a 'very popular' (in the traditinal sense), the versatile Malian is the heart of his national side. He recently measured to that bill and reputation by scoring the decisive goal that ensured Mali joined Africa's elite footballing nations in Accra next month.

With all the five nominees virtually being West Africans, where does that leave the rest of the continent? Or put different is playing in the Premier League the alpha and omega in football? Where are East, South, Central or North Africans?

Well the jury is still out and very soon we would be victims of the same media blitz where any mundane dribbling is speedily judged world class. Poor Benni McCarthy could not feature anywhere despite his form for Blackburn. Woe unto other African footballers plying their trade outside Europe in general and England in particular.

Dead English Football Finally Buried, Coach Fired

The charade that has become English football ended in tears last night when they were sensationally beaten at home by Croatia 3-2. And domino effect of that painful show has seen manager Steve McClaren fired this morning.

Poor Steve, he must have seen it coming after gambling with his neck already well laid on the chopping block well before the whistle. By optin for green horn keeper Carson instead of experience (albeit off form) Robinson, McClaren paid the ultimate price.

And the Aston Villa goal keeper Carson did nothing to prove a point besides helping the Croatians score in the 8th minute. By halftime England was down 2-0. It couldn't get any gloomier for the proud English.

Boos and jeers at the breather saw him bring in Beckham whose experience salvaged the game albeit temporarily. You never dodge the noose three times. England only needed a draw to qualify. After loosing to the Russians in Moscow early this month they were as good as down and out.

But then Israel gave them a lifeline last Saturday by beating the Russians 2-1 in Telaviv. England now had the opportunity once again even to top the group if they were to beat Croatia 2-0. Lakini wapi. Pride comes before a fall and since missing out in the 1994 world cup in the US they have to wait to see if they will qualify for 2010 world cup in South Africa.

The saving grace in this misplaced pride is the fact that at least out there people take repsonsibility for their failure unlike ours where shame is a word left to rot in the dictionary.

Bookies and pundits are already rooting for Jose Mourinho to take England places. But whether Jose's strong character will be compatible with obtuse English pride that borders on arrogance, only time will tell.

Lady Luck Smiles to Save England's Head

That the English team had to pray for an Israel win over Russia to keep their qualification of Euro 2008 alive is a contradiction in large proportion. And lady luck surely smiled on their face with Israel pulling a surprise 2-1 win to sink the Russians yesterday.

Looking up to the gods to gain qualification for next year's European Premier football bonanza betrayed the lack of quality in English players despite the boom and publicity generated by the Premier League. Take out the foreign players and the English football will be left yawning for any spark.

One would mistake the strong 4000 (proud) English supporters cheering Israel in Tel-a-Viv for some Jews from West Bank or Jerusalem. So it appears even the obtuse pride can be auctioned at the right price.

Pride on auction
Football spares no room for pride. Team England has been full of of contempt assuming that their qualification was as good as guaranteed given the 'weak' opponents in their group. But alas! Croatia is heading the group and already qualified. They also appear to have been inflicted with that misplaced pride if losing 2-0 to the unrated Macedonia yesterday is anything to go by.

Not that England are out of the woods yet. They have to at least draw with Croatia on Wednesday at Wembley. And with their over-rated stars missing with injuries anything can happen and the Russians must be holding vigil in their churches. Joining Rooney is the football 'wards' is Michael Owen. That leaves Peter Crouch to lead the onslaught upfront.

Owen's injury is definitely England' self-inflicted malady. Knowing very well that the striker is always an accident waiting to happen, Steve MacClaren goofed large scale in taxing his charges against the colourless and useless fixture with Austria.

Add to that loss of form from the aging Beckham and you get a pack of 11 donning 3 lions with St. George's flag chasing a piece of leather bereft of any entertainment nor quality to match the media hype.

Punishing bullies
It may not be wild to imagine that nature is teaching lessons to bully boys on both sides of the Atlantic. What with the the land of opportunity losing its sheen and influence in the global arena in terms of FREEDOM (after 9/11) and innovation? Just look at all the major technological breakthrough always emerging from Seoul.

It may either be crunch time and a time for re-evaluation of values and pride or just mother nature is simply paying the big boys (bullies) in their own coin.

19 Goals in 3 Games: Quantity or Quality?

The last two weeks saw writing of some interesting history in English football. In a span of 10 days only, Arsenal and Liverpool broke the record twice in recording the largest score margin ever in the UEFA Championship history.

First the Gunners turned Slavia Prague into football slaves literally. With a 7-0 win, the Wenger boys were all over themselves with almost every player (including the keeper) wanting to join in the goal fest. Besides the encounter being very embarrassing the Cech Republic team, it made the prolific Cesc Fabregas look like a dynamo from outer space in the midfield. To be honest Fabregas was fabulous.

But before Arsene Wenger could relish the historic win in preparation for the return leg that marked his 100th Championship match as Manager, Liverpool spoilt the party. Standing second from bottom in thier group, the Liverpool went into their last Championship match staring early elimination in the face. But at the end of the match after walloping Besiktas 8-0, Rafa's Reds broke Arsenal's week-old record.

Add to that Manchester United's latest love with scores coming in fours. After rounding Dynamo Kiev of Ukraine 4-2 at their own backyard, the Red Devils ensured the return leg at Old Trafford was a clean four with no concession.

May be in retrospection Sir Alex Ferguson knew a thing we ordinary mortals were not privy to in bringing Carlos Tavez to partner Wayne Rooney. "Psycho" Tavez is finally making the mundane-but-overrated Rooney shine and spark. No wonder Rooney has finally won the Barclays Premier League's best player for the month of October. The British press can can only afford a mute acknowledgement of Ronaldo's genius. Well that is English sense of patriotism if you ask me.

Beauty and the beast
But are these avalanche of goals a reflection of the quality of the beautiful game? Probably yes except only in terms of advertisement and media blitz. But trust the English hype to go in an overdrive to overshadow any competition, real or perceived.

With players like Rooney and John Terry earning close to £ 150,000 (KES 20 million) a week, these chaps have to be turned into robots if that would make them appear to earn their obscene salaries.

The jury is still out in the beauty of the beautiful game. Entertaining yes it is but quality compared to other leagues well, it depends on what your parameters are.

Fabulous Fabregas Saves Arsenal

Arsenal's smooth reign in the Premier League this season was put to probably its toughest test yesterday. Give it to the Gunners for snatching a draw from the jaws of victory for Manchester United in their 2-2 draw at the Emirates Stadium.

Premier League's new kid on the block Cesc Fabregas showcased the talent he is being Arsenal's play marker. The 20-year old's skills on the pitch truly betrays his experience. Simply put Cesc is curving a niche of his own and the player of the year award is likely be his for the taking.

After sparkless first half with united one up, Cesc led by example and from infront by levelling only 6 minutes after the breather. And what a superb goal it was from the Spaniard? But not for long before another 'foreign' talent, Cristiano Ronaldo, put the Red ahead with only 9 minutes to go. As they say don't count your chicks before they are hatch. William Galas spoilt United's party by equalizing in extra time making sure that Arsenal remains tops of the League Table.

Over to Stamford Bridge new manager Grant appear to be finding his bearing and crawling out of Mourinho's shadows. After trashing Wigan 2-0, the Blues are back in contention for the Premier League title in position three after United.

Liverpool meanwhile lies seventh after drawing 0-0 with the in-form Blackburn who are fifth. Beni Mcarthy (SA) is in his element as the top scorer for Blackburn. Portsmouth meanwhile appear to have launched a spirited campaign to force themselves into the top four. After humiliating Michael Owen's Newcastle 4-1, Redknap's Kanu and Benjani are rearing to go.

The next few weeks will have the Premier league take a defined shape before getting into the nasty Christmas fixtures where the true contenders will emerge. The season promises fireworks and plenty of surprises.

Goal Harvesting Week

What a goal scoring jamboree it was this past seven days? Arsenal stamped their authority on European football by thrashing Slavia Prague from Czech Republic 7-0. Arsene Wenger boys’ margin of victory equalled the biggest win in the Champions League in which Juventus demolition of Olympiakos in 2003.

And it was a week of victorious history. Manchester United appear to rediscovered their form by scoring four goals a piece in their last four matches. That is a feat the Reds only managed 100 years ago.

Chelsea crowned the historic week by humiliating Manchester City 6-0. Anytime the powerful Drogba scores, echoes of Mourinho would reverberate at Stamford Bridge albeit in loud silence for fear of spoiling new Manager’s (Grant) party. Boy, the Jew relished every second of his first real sweat victory. Hi smile from ear to ear on camera attested to his silent resolve to bury Jose's ghost.

Arsenal’s rise this season is phenomenal. Their form is testimony to what measured experience can achieve. While last season all the Gunners had cow under Thierry Henry’s towering shadow, Emanuel Adebayo and Cesc Fabregas are brilliant this year. Those who rushed to write Arsenal’s epitaph when Theirry decamped to Barcelona last summer are having second thoughts.


Golden boys
Considering that Adebayo and Cesc are only 23 and 20 respectively, Wenger’s must have celebrated his growing younger strategically last Monday on his 59th birthday. And if Wenger boys’ topping the Premier League table was attributed to mute opponents, then Cesc’s late equalizer for Arsenal against Liverpool this evening is enough proof the boys have matured into men.

Meanwhile Sven Erickson’s honeymoon at Manchester City’s could as well be over. The thrashing by Chelsea was a product of COLLECTIVE INEPTITUDE among his new signings. Once his new kid on the block Elano was man-marked, City’s goose was effectively chased, cooked and digested.

As the Premier League enters the penultimate stage approaching crazy Christmas fixtures, the championship is shaping with new threats like Blackburn emerging from the shadows of the traditional big four.

Meanwhile Bottom(Totten)ham Spurs’ fate is still up in the air and proof that no amount of money can buy history nor legacy. Spur’s new boss Ramos who costed £6 million from Savila, lost his first game against Blackburn today.

Thankless Job of Football Managers

The sword of Damocles has been hanging precariously over Martin Jol's head since last summer. It was no surprise when the blades finally kissed his sculp in his being fired as the Spurs boss. Jol has been effectively a caretaker manager since Spurs board was caught on camera talking to Savilla coach in August.

But is football a game managed by mercenaries albeit civilized ones? It would appear the mercenary tag is not fat fetched given the scenarios in which reining and former managers fall over themselves to replace a fired manager.

The beautiful game has turned into an ogre that devours its own. The demand for immediate results is unparalleled with any other sport. The media hype and publicity if the fuel that makes the flames roar.

Buying established and successfully football clubs (especially in England) is big time business for global multi-millionaires. Clubs are literally led by the leash to succeed. These owners will stop for nothing and even punish success if they fell their interests are threatened. Fabio Capello and Jose Mourinho fits that bill.

Dogs of the pitch
The 51 year old is a success story. What of guiding Spurs into two successive Uefa championships? But his summer signings failed him and the buck stops at the boss.
But Juande Ramos is also touted as one of the most promising managers in European football after leading Savilla to back-to-back Uefa cup glory in the past two years.

The cut throat competition and handsome revenue resulting from the same is a phenomenon that may its strength or weakness depending on what you fancy. Every manager taking up his position must be alive to this reality. Club boards may not be as well known as the players or managers but they pull the ultimate strings.

Spurs board were rumoured to be ready to pay any wages for Mourinho when he was sacked by Chelsea. Only that the later club made sure that Jose signed and was paid off managing any Premier League team this season. Mercenaries may not only be dogs of war afterall but also dogs of the piece of leather.

English Footbal Casuality of Success

That pride comes before a fall could be more true for the English football. The poor form of the English game can be squarely placed at the doorsteps of misplaced English pride. The inward look approach to football management is their bane. The Premier League has exposed some of Africa's great footballers and by extension we have a latent say and concern in its management.

Media blitz makes mundane Premier League look so exotic such that one would be excused to mistake one average player in the name of Rooney as a world-class lethal striker. Give it to the English they can prop one of their own oblivious of glittering success from the competition.

The poor form of the national England team can be attributed to the over hyped success of the Premier League. In fact the the Premier League management looks at FA as its competitor instead of complementing it. This has seen the erosion of the expected nourishment of the national side from the Premier League players. Time off for national duty is often frowned upon by club managers who even have the cheek to dictate the amount of time the players spend with the national team.

The sorry state of English is an apt case of club success breading national failure. The English may pride themselves as the inventors of modern football (Chinese actually invented the game), but unless they put their priorities right they may as well fade into football oblivion.

Bite the bullet
The FA must reinvent itself if it want to remain relevant. They must look for the right manager (coach) with eyes singularly trained on quality and results. This means they must stop discriminating coaches on account of their Passports.

Hollow national pride may cost them all they have in their possession already. With Jose Mourinho, Jorgen Klinsmann already showing interest to succeed the under performing Steve McLaren, the FA have only one right decision to make. But will they bite the bullet? Only time will tell.

The Soaring Heat in Premier League

As the English Premier Leagues takes a two-week break for international fixtures a reflection of the action so far reveals mixed fortunes for both clubs and teams. The biggest absentee in during this break is of course ‘the special one, Jose Mourinho.

Like him hate him Jose brought a unique character to the game of football. His catchy quips always whetted the appetite of the English press. The impact of Jose’s absence at the Stamford Bridge is loud and the lack of spark and thrill is all traceable to this. Chelsea nose-diving performance has opened wide the doors to the mythical top four in the table standings. Terry’s cheek fracture only helped compound a bad situation.

Arsenal is the new kids on the block. The Gunners are surely harvesting the positive effects from selling their domineering ex-captain Thiery Henry. You cannot take away the fact that Henry was a refined striker. But the fallacy that a club perishes with one player starts from that disillusion. The demise of Henry’s shadow has let Fabregas and Van Persie to showcase brilliant football that has anchored Arsenal at the top of the table, a feat they have not achieved in a couple of years.

But the Gunners must count of luck and smile form their gods for a relatively ‘easy’ start to the season. Starting next month the young side will either prove pundits wrong or will simply sink when they meet Manchester United and Liverpool in successive weeks. With the defending champions breathing fire immediately behind them with a two points’ difference they Arsene Wenger’s lads have all the reasons to worry.

Over to Anfield, the honeymoon seems to disappear as fast as the vows were pronounced. The brilliant start of the season for Rafa’s men appears to desert them so fast. Is the ‘magical’ Torres perishable? The Reds need time to gel and Rafa’s limitless tinkering with his first XI under the facade of optimal rotation may be his undoing.

Resumption of action next weekend promises some thrillers as the league enter a defining moment. By December the surprise package in Manchester City lying in position three shall have stamped their presence and authority or dissipated as fast as Sven arrived in the North West.

In the meantime, whether Jose weaved himself into Chelsea’s middle name only time will tell. Roman Abrahamovich may be paying the piper but must he call the unpleasant tune? You cannot buy a legacy or history, or can you?

The top 5 most popular articles on Kumekucha between 7 and 8 pm today (Kenyan time).

Football Horses that Never Run

The English Premier league is popular the world over thanks to the media blizz. That English football is more talked about than any of its competitor cannot be gainsaid. But a closer look at the game’s dynamics reveals a cleverly-crafted scheme to create heat and media hyperbole from a mute showcase.

Nothing could be further from the truth. British's (read English) appetite to dominate the world in anyway possible remains insatiable. Picture this: Rooney scores a goal from sheer luck and what you read from the headlines next day is no reflection of what you watched either on the pitch or TV. All English footballers are celebrities fulltime. Beckham is threatening his ex-singer wife Victoria and the so-called WAGs (wives and girlfriends) of players even shamelessly apportion themselves fame by association (read sleeping).

Meanwhile the real pitch heroes who 'unfortunately' happen not to be English fade in the limelight of western press. How somebody classifies Rooney together with Gattusso as the world’s most lethal strikers is a dry joke than should be exclusively told by Lucifer welcoming his clients to hell.

Granted, England is home to clubs like Liverpool and Manchester United which are institutions in themselves and no amount of money can buy either history or legacy. But that does not take away the fact that Real Madrid is the world oldest and established club. Kenyans must have watched Brits keenly in backing their respective (political) horses despite all the nauseating warts.

The difference is that the British media hype at least operates within the parameters of civility unlike our naked hatred for fellow countrymen. Unlike football, our politics remains a bloody battle that spares no guns.