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Friday, August 06, 2010

Tit Bits on Referendum Results

  • Ministry of Lands banking hall was surprisingly empty this morning. A first time occurrence since 1963. No more brokers and no more grabbers of public land crowding the corridors in Ardhi House. One rumour had it that squatters (read human shields) are being invited to settle for free at one expansive farm in Laikipia.
  • Eldoret North constituency will be electing a new MP come 2012. The incumbent is busy auctioning the Kalenjin vote to the highest bidder for purposes of landing the Deputy State Presidency in the new dispensation.
  • As we auction ethnic votes and rent crowds, since when were uncast votes counted in elections? Can we be clear what democracy means. And in this case two thirds voted yes.
  • Mwingi North constituency now joins Othaya constituency as the other constituency whose long serving member of parliament is soon to become a pensioner. Thanks to recent upward review of the V-P’s rosy retirement benefits.
  • There's one Mkamba who has christened himself Obama Wa Wakamba. Green was too much for him. Cloning the son of Ko'Ogelo is no easy task, especially his vote winning ways.
  • KADDU is now shopping for a new Party Leader following the dismal performance of the current Party Leader in his own constituency and in the larger land of Masinde Muliro.
  • Cherangany constituency while voting strongly for YES, also wishes to have the recall clause fast-tracked, 2012 is too far. They have been assured of support from the nearby Lugari constituency.
  • Imported voters from the other side still managed to sneak into the Langata constituency voter roll despite the recent fresh registration by the IIEC. Back to the drawing board, how can the incumbent be unseated?
  • Green Alliance, comprising youthful YES MPs, is now a fully fledged political party in Kenya after was issued registeration certificate by the registrar of political parties this morning. This heralds the death of KANU, the independence party. They hope to replicate the abortive Orange revolution of 05-07 riding on the back of 2010 referendum victory. Easier said than done, especially if there is no one to do football commentaries for them at Uhuru Park.
  • Chief Justice and a substantial number of judges in the judiciary have quietly moved their personal belongings from offices and sent their government staff on leave. There is NO chance in any of them ever working in the judiciary again.
  • Party Leader TIP TIP has more than a dozen missed calls from a mobile phone number calling from Kabarak base station. It is not known why these elements want to make this political marriage of convenience permanent. The said party leader was seen nursing a warm tusker at a pub in Mlolongo very early today.
  • Those who took illegal oath of office in 2007 are required to take lawful oath of office again.....this time in broad daylight through due process. YES, they know themselves.
  • And YES, the railway is still intact in Kibera while Kivuitu remains a Kenya citizen, at least he has been given a leston at managing elections.

More tit bits to follow; but you can post yours at the comments section of this post

Have a comprehensively reformist weekend folks!!!!

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Is there a kenyan soul that has changed at heart.If you find one ture kenyan soul, for sure it was worth the 8million votes.If not on soul has changed.then this refer-dum was a wast

Anonymous said...

Why bring Jukwaa's vomit to Kunekucha phil of Kibera???

Lets see what will happen to you ignorant morons when taxes goes up and you realize there will be no free land and free food and houses for you.

Anonymous said...

Phil of Kibera at his best. Mandazi selling beckoning. 2012 is not far.

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