True test for a Kenyan

... writer claims that it is more accurate than a DNA test (that's the other
thing, most Kenyans don't really undersatnd what a DNA test is).

Are you Kenyan?

ONLY Kenyans.......



1. Are engaged for 5 years or more



2. Never bother to divorce, they just separate



3. Are late to church, work, and everything else

EXCEPT when the disco is free before 9pm*****



4. Refer to diabetes as 'SUGAR'



5. Show up at weddings, showers, graduation,

birthday parties with a new outfit on with nails and

hair done but no gift



6. In relation to #5, they eat like parking boys

and take a plate home



7. Consider 'clubbing' or 'henging' as a monthly

expense



8. Leave bills (instead of insurance money) behind

for surviving relatives.



9. Borrow money for a wedding.



10. have mothers who can use curse words and

religion ALL IN ONE SENTENCE e.g. "Lord, give me

strength because I'm about to knock the hell out of

this child"



11. spend the car insurance money on everything

EXCEPT getting the dent fixed.



12. invite co-workers and all of their friends to

their child's 1st birthday party which happens to have

a professional DJ with only about 3 kid (including the

child) in attendance. And then expect the guests

to "changa" for the bash.



13. Start every sentence with "Me I..."e.g. "ME I

donno why you are saying that I always say 'Me I'.



14. Say 'Spend' when they are staying the night

elsewhere from home, e.g. "Are you going to spend at

her place?"



15. Put in iron rods in all windows and main

doors...referring to them as ''Burglar''



16. Use "Ngai" as an exclamation mark e.g. "Ngai,

what are you doing?"



17. Believe "Ati" is an English word for "What?"



18. Think it is cool to drink and drive and get

away with it "I don't know how I got home that

day..the way I was soo drunk!"



19. Think all their economic and social problems

are caused by "Moi" when in fact some have never been

to school.



20. Pack up all their earthly goods to go to

"shaggs" for a week in December, only to pack them all back

again after that one week and return to "Tao"



21. Call travelling "flying out" e.g. She flew out

(no one ever seems to wonder where all these Kenyans

fly to)



22. Think that taking a clerical job in a company

is better and "cooler" than toiling in their parents'

family business.



23. Prefer washing cars and dishes in USA to

toiling in their 20-acre tea farms in Kenya.



24. Call their homes "at ours". e.g., "At ours, we

eat Githeri every day"



25. Complain for five years about poor governance

and corruption then vote in the same clowns back to

parliament.



26. Have a chief Justice who has no law degree!



27. Go on strike for one day and expect the govt.

to resign!



28. Sit back in their homes and expect their MP to

"bring Development"



29. Refuse to insure against anything and expect

you to bankroll them when calamity strikes... thro'

Harambee.



30. Sit calmly and sometimes cheer as a mad man

drives them in a ramshackle at breakneck speed to

certain death.



31. Drive with their windows wound up when they

get to city centre because of 4-year-old brats armed

with human feaces, and still claim to be free people!

Sounds so true, eh? I hope you are still Kenyan by

all standards. Me, I am Kenyan DAMU!!!!