The Lunch That Never Was

ODM-K's London dinner scheduled for tomorrow has been cancelled due to SERIOUS SECURITY REASONS. Consequently, the ODM-K presidential candidate Hon. Kalonzo who was to grace the £ 50 per pax dinner will also fail to travel and meet Kenyans in the diaspora as publicized earlier.

This last minute cancellation smacks of either mischief or poor organization. One is left wonder with fertile imaginations whether the reasons for the aborted dinner lied elsewhere even after scrapping the fee and making the dinner free. When contacted for comment, the LADY organizer could only afford to say that the meeting will be rescheduled for a future date.

True to Kenyan politics, this development has left the political scene awash with wild rumours flying in all directions. Aspersions and innuendos are being cast in all directions some sympathetic while most are out rightly propagandist in nature and content. So the quest and plastic attention to the diaspora continues. Na bado

Are You Married?

Ans: Yes BUT please don’t ask me to whom. Just understand I am somebody’s wife.

Qsn: Who is your roll model?

Ans: Mwai Kibaki (for obvious reasons) and Hilary Clinton (apt reversed rolls)

Kenya’s Forgotten Tribe

Next to the Luo you will not believe the other Kenyan tribe that has suffered the most neglect in terms of development assistance from the central government. It is of course the Kikuyu.

Most people reading this would be incredulous at my assertion, but let me explain.

Contrary to what most Kenyans think many areas in Central province are the most underdeveloped in the country and things would have been much worse was it not for the enterprising and creative spirit that most of our Kikuyu brothers seem to possess naturally. The community has also been greatly aided by their proximity to Nairobi.

Under the Kenyatta regime, the president was very careful to be seen as a national figure and was uncomfortable about taking development projects to his Gatundu constituency. The result is there for all to see even today as this is one of the most backward areas in the entire Central province.

During the Moi era, the president did everything to sabotage the revenue generating activities that were perceived to give the Kikuyu economic might. Even at the expense of national interests. Just ask a few farmers...

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The implications on the NSE Of the chairman’s political affiliations

Guest column By John Maina.

Many have been quick to politicise comments made by ODM Presidential Candidate Raila Odinga about the NSE. They have singularly associated the share index downward trend to his earlier comments on drug money finding its way to NSE also his concerns of share manipulation by a few well connected individuals. Paul Muite the chair of (Departmental Committee on Justice and Legal Affairs) similarly expressed the latter concerns albeit both politicians did not give details.


Chairman of the NSE, crafty Jimnah Mbaru

On Raila Odinga’s comments many have castigated him as an anti-development, alleged he is a communist, thus he would nationalise the listed companies. Others have even argued that he is a propagandist seeking political mileage.

However, many have overlooked the fact that Raila himself owns various private businesses and has strongly argued against his distracter that he has heavily invested at the NSE

Moreover, many people have glossed over others factors likely to be impacting on the downward trend. Such include, investors disposing of share in readiness to safcom IPO and the Christmas festival.

Other reasons as recently pointed by the NSE board are the rising inflation resulting in disposal of stocks so as to buy basic commodities.

Jittery investors holding back in anticipation of the political transition and uncertainty on the direction that the stock market is taking cannot be ruled out either.

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Battle Royale as Pentagon Goes Hexagon

The flood gates are opened as House Speaker Mr Kaparo raised the political temperatures by issuing writs that officially declared the 210 parliamentary seats vacant. And job hunting as we usher in another season of defection with predicatble shamelessness.

The full Orange has expanded and gone Hexa (six) by admitting Ngilu into into its top organ. Meanwhile PNU is dolling out districts at a rate that makes Moi's look like tokens. Old habits are surely perfected by slaves of nostalgia. What with a continuation of creating TRIBALLY-nomenclatured districts like Samia?

Scoring own goal
But Orange family would be better advised not to waste their time on petty envy by attacking each other instead of squaring it with their common opponent. When ODM is not denigrating its sibling as punda, the latter is rubbishing the former's poll superior rating. Speak of superlative self-destruction.

And out of curiosity at the risk of being e-lynched, is the ODM supremo part-time Kenyan or running from without? Even before you shout Chungwa or Kasarai, Tinga is air bound out of Kenya. Phil share with us part of the itinerary, we deserve to know,ama?

Finally, that Tawala Kenya song, was it out of mere excitement, spicing the ocassion or inadvertently scoring an own goal?

What Is The Electoral Commission Up To?

The Electoral Commission has at this eleventh hour adjusted the constituency boundary between Kisauni in Mombasa and neighboring Mvita consitituency in a move that affects close to 10,000 voters.

ODM has gone to court to block the move and as the electoral commission asked for more time to prepare their case, an incredulous High court judge yesterday bluntly told the ECK that they have no case.

Meanwhile in Kisauni there have been demonstrations over the last 3 days against this puzzling move by the ECK. The voters on the ground are very clear in their mind where all this is coming from. They blame the outgoing MP of the area Anania Mwaboza for ganging up with the government to ensure that he is voted back to parliament in an area that is rabidly ODM. Interestingly the part of Kisauni ceded out to Mvita by the ECK is a stronghold of Mwaboza’s main challenger Ali Hassan Joho.

Could this have been one of the reasons behind the recent appointment of a new commissioner who has been practicing law in Mombasa?

I am getting a very bad feeling here.

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Story Of Woman Who Loved Two Men Depicts Kenyan Presidential Elections Politics Perfectly Part 2

Dorothy was now in a real panic. She tried his cell phone again. The mobile phone subscriber could still not be reached.

She decided to send him a message so that when he finally switched on his phone, he may just be able to get it.

PLEASE CALL ME BACK VERY, VERY, URGENTLY-DOROTHY.

Then the real agony began. She was sure that Rai was dead by now. Kib came late in the evening as usual. Naturally he could not understand her mood and got even more confused when she gave herself to him. But it was all mechanical. The way you would go to the toilet for a long call. Her heart was with Rai, if he was alive that is.

She kept her mobile phone on the whole night. She got up to go to work in the morning more exhausted than she had been going to bed the previous night. She was now sure that Rai was dead. He had probably committed suicide. She blamed herself and quietly mourned for him.

What was wrong with her anyway. When women everywhere would have given anything to be with such a sensitive man as Rai, she had rejected him. Look where it had landed her, she chided herself repeatedly.

The call came in at 9:45 when she was in a meeting.

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Shirikisho Divorces PNU Before the Wedding

Even before President Kibaki's shadow disappeared from the TV screens, the Kenya political theatre is alive with plenty of acts. Shirikisho has bolted out of PNU as Kombo sent all the civic bosses packing.

And what a preamble to a potentially action-packed next 60+ days? Well, we haven't seen anything yet. The political theatrics we have witnessed perfected by our scoundrels for leaders ni kionjo.

Theatrics in earnest before the race
Shirikisho may have opted out of PNU to retrace its steps in attempt to remain politically relevant. What with its baby Majimbo being weaned and trumpeted loudest by competitors outside PNU? The next few days will see more heavy weights drifting in the Kenyan political landscape like a rudderless ship lost in the doldrums. Kamata kamata........

The Test

Here, I share with you my own personal experience when my wife and I had to take the HIV test three years ago.

The Pastor made it very clear to us that, as a prerequisite, we had to go for a HIV test before we got married. The results of the test would determine whether the church would marry us off or not. If either of us tested HIV positive, then, that would mean the end of the journey to conjugal bliss.

That was three weeks to the publishing of the banns. Never had there been a harder time in our lives than at that very time. The task that we had to accomplish was almost daunting.

Our minds were abuzz trying to figure out our pasts: had we slipped in our earlier trysts? And if so, had we contracted the HIV virus? What would happen if the tests confirmed our worst fears?

After lengthy deliberations, we decided that taking the test was the only way of either confirming or allaying our fears.

The next day we headed to a Voluntary Counselling and Testing (VCT) centre that was in town. We were received cordially, and, after the preliminaries, we were ushered into a room where a counsellor was waiting for us.

I’ll never forget the cold chill that ran down my spine when I entered the room. I felt like a cow that had entered an abattoir. My face was flushed and my lips felt dry. I tried to compose myself to no avail. The feeling I had could only be equated to the feeling of an accused man feeling guilty before being pronounced so.

With a warm smile, the counsellor led us through the counselling session which included questions posed at us and explanations she gave for the questions we asked her.

Then came the question: “Are you ready for the test?” My wife-to-be and I exchanged glances and, almost in unison, we said, “Yes.”

We were led to a room that was adjacent to the office. This was the ‘testing room’. Blood was removed from the big veins in the crooks of our arms. Then we were told to wait in reception while the tests were made and results processed.

The fifteen minutes in reception were an eternity to me. There were a number of magazines on the table. I took one of them in the pretext of reading but in real sense it was to camouflage the fact that my mind was in turmoil. All manner of wild ideas and thoughts were doing their rounds in my head.

“What if I am found to be HIV positive, what will become of my life? What will come of my wedding bid? What will people say and how will my parents take it?” My head was spinning. My mate was going through the same motions.

When our names were mentioned we jumped up in unison almost leaving our hearts on the seats! The counsellor, with two spring files in her hands, led the way into her office. We followed suit, our steps almost faltering.

Once inside the office, she asked us to be seated. With a disarming smile playing on her lips, she told us that she had the results. Our hearts missed a beat.

With the precision of a marksman, she opened the two files and looked into them. At the back of our minds we knew that the contents of the files held the key to our fate.

She looked at us and, as she was about to say something, she stopped and cleared her throat. Was that hesitation? We felt the air in our lungs being forced out.

“Both of you are HIV negative. You don’t have the HIV virus. Here, have a look at the results.”

For a split second we could not believe our ears. Then we stood up, with tears of joy coursing the breadth of our cheeks, hugged each other and thanked the counsellor profusely.

As she handed us our result certificates (the key to our marital bliss and ‘happily-ever-after’ story), she quipped, “These results are very different from the ones that show academic qualifications. You can depend on your academic certificates to open doors for you tomorrow i.e. the qualifications don’t change. The certificates show the skills you have acquired. The results you have received today, on the other hand, can change at the flash of lightning if you don’t take care of yourselves.”

Read this poem that encapsulates the advice of a grandmother to her carefree grandson who does not care two hoots about Aids.

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Glorifying the Inglorious

Have you ever stopped to ask yourself why some of the vices we stand on the roof tops to discourage are the very ones we contentedly sit down to watch on TV (to our detriment, no doubt)?

We grin, laugh, smile and purse our lips when we watch steamy love scenes and passionate kissing courtesy of the manifold soap operas that grace our sets. What would prevent a teenager from experimenting with what they watch?

During the day we rebuke immorality, promiscuity and other such ‘vices’; in the evening it is served hot (on TV) for us to savour and join in the fray. Why this ambiguity? What message is being delivered to the multiple audience stake holders at the end of the day?

The soaps ‘teach’ us that having multiple sexual partners is alright as long as you have the money to keep the ‘relationship’ going. They also aim at making us believe that divorce is the sure-fire way of dealing with issues in marriage. Patience and perseverance in marriage are no-go zones according to these programmes. (Remember The Rich also Cry, No One But You of yesteryear and the many others that have come after them?)

Western mentality is being slid down our throats (without our noticing it) through these programmes. We open our arms to welcome their insidious notions and ideals. We try as much as we can not to miss watching them.

I know of a certain woman who sulks the whole evening if she is ‘disturbed’ as she watches her favourite soap. When her husband wants to talk to her or asks her for food or bath water she gives a thousand and one excuses just to make sure that she watches the soap without missing any action. Talk of disrespect and disregard!

And to think this is just one woman out of the many others who do even worse things in a bid to pledge allegiance to their favourite soaps, is just sickening.

Where are we headed if this is the status quo? I dare say, homes are crumbling and disintegrating thanks to the aforementioned. Though their story lines are very interesting and spellbinding, there is a dark abyss under their seemingly harmless façade.
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The 9th Parliament is finally dissolved and the drama begins

After many calls to the President to dissolve Parliament, he finally dissolve the 9th Parliament yesterday after signing some bills that were passed this month i.e. Finance Bill and the Employments Bill I talked about in a recent post, read here.

By this dissolution the real battle for the next government begins, we have been entertained by all manner of launch by the presidential candidates and their parties, PNU, ODM, ODM-K and KPP. Though the parties with presidential candidates are four, the race is said to be mainly for three. Notice parties in this election prefer three letter parties compared to those in 2002 NARC, FORD-K, FORD-P and KANU. Could be three is a lucky number in this elections and I hope it will be Kenya’s 3rd liberation like it has been said.

Our outgoing MPs in this parliament were well paid, we now wait for the house speaker Mr. Francis Ole Kaparo to officially declare their jobs vacant for them to re-apply for their lucrative jobs. The vacant positions are 210 posts but he will be sending 222 MPs home (12 were nominated). Just like previous elections, the posts have attracted applicants from all walks of life to the variety of parties. These positions are so lucrative such that applicants don’t mind paying high non-refundable nominations fees proposed by the parties.

Now is the time for interesting defections, politicians who had not defected will hop from one party to the other, some will stick to their parties. From the trend that has been the case in the past months, the party or parties that will suffer most is the President party PNU and its affiliate parties. The party that has been more on the receiving side is ODM and I imagine more joining them now.

The main task for the parties now is to organize nominations for the candidates who would stand on their parties for the 210 constituencies. There are also a number of posts for councilors for many wards. It will be tough and I hope it will be done in a democratic manner not like in the past.

After the nominations there will be more defections or fallouts. Those who do not win in the nominations will try their luck elsewhere. Some will remain with their choice parties even after loosing nominations, in the hope of being nominated by their parties after elections if they are lucky.

We now wait for ECK chairman Mr. Samuel Kivuitu to announce elections date. I can only conclude that Kenyan politics is an interesting drama that leaves people in suspense as to what will happen next.

Enjoy!

The Campaign Gimmick Behind Today’s Unique Dissolution of Parliament

The 9th parliament is no more. And for the first time in the history of the nation the president addressed the entire nation on live TV to dissolved parliament, officially paving way for the general election later this year. The live broadcast started at 4 pm (local Kenyan time).

To justify going on air, president Kibaki took time to summarize the achievements of the controversial own-perks-and-remuneration-hiking 9th parliament noting the important bills it had passed into law during its’ life.

This was a smart move and one of the few things that the embattled president’s handlers have gotten right in a very long time. The psychological effect of the power behind the throne personally dissolving the 9th parliament is not without impact and paints a picture of a president fully in control of the country and one who surely deserves a second look by voters for possible re-election. That live broadcast alone must have captured at the very least tens of thousands of votes countrywide for president Kibaki. As to whether those “captured” hearts will remain with the president until polling day, only time can tell.

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Story Of Woman Who Loved Two Men Depicts Kenyan Presidential Elections Politics Perfectly

If truth be told, I have never really liked Raila Odinga.

Nothing personal, but I have never been particularly endeared to his personal style and way of doing things. However one man in this country has changed all that in recent years for many Kenyans.

I will tell you a story that illustrates my point here perfectly and will explain the mystery of how this man called Raila suddenly became so popular.

Dorothy was in that dilemma that some women find themselves in. Two men had proposed to her and she had to make up her mind whom she was going to marry. The two men in her life were burly muscular and very handsome Kib and passionate but possessive Rai whom she had known for a longer time.

Read Part 2

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Otieno Kajwang Gets Life Line From Raila But…

Towards the end of last week some very fascinating meetings were taking place at the Professional Centre in Nairobi. The characters in the meetings call themselves “islanders” based in the city and are mostly supporters of an aspirant for the Mbita parliamentary seat called Sammy Wakiaga.

The latest news is that Wakiaga has been “persuaded” to step down in favor of the incumbent Otieno Kajwang. Yet he had already quit his job with the NSIS (National Security Intelligence Services) where he was the chief accountant to vie for the Mbita seat.

The gentlemen were particularly incensed that Raila appears to be using his usual, underhand means to ensure that those close to him retain their parliamentary seats and yet, the group claims, the people of Mbita have had more than enough of Kajwang.

These die hard ODM supporters then went on to invoke the name of Tom Mboya’s widow, Pamela Mboya claiming Mrs Mboya was a supporter of Wakiaga and was questioning why Raila will not leave...

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WHY KIBAKI DESERVES NO SECOND CHANCE

This is circulating on email, I decided to post it because they are facts on issues that have affected the rest of Kenyans who are not from Mt. Kenya region like me. There are very few from Mt. Kenya region who are not as tribal as our current leaders from that region, however most of them are and fully support the leadership just like its written in the last paragraph.

Can someone tell me why I should give him another chance, when I have not felt the economic growth which he said will be 7% at the end of the year? When more of my relatives and friends who are not from his region are jobless and I wonder where are the 1.8 million jobs he said his government has created in the past four years during Kenyatta Day celebrations?

"This is a message to all, especially our brothers and sisters from Mt. Kenyan region, who still seem to imagine they DON'T know why their man is being rejected by the rest of Kenyans from ALL OTHER regions….

Take clear note Raila is a product of Kibaki's failure to keep his word. You guys from Central Province believe that all other Kenyans are silly and do not deserve the national cake.You assume that the house of Mumbi should be the only property owners and the other Kenyans should be consumers and servants.

Your guys should have known better that four years of Kibaki rule consigned all Kenyans,except Mt Kenyans, to periphery economically and politically. Your man failed to practice equal justice hence the current rejection by many Kenyans.

Kibaki fired the people who made him president in the mistaken believe that he would just deceive Kenyans to vote for him again. He rewarded none Kikuyu friends with nonexistent ministries such as Public Service, East African Corporation, Immigration and other weak ministries he created for none Kikuyus. Important ministries such as Finance, Education, Constitutional Affairs, etc have sons and daughters of Mumbi as heads. This arrangement is designed to boost Kikuyus academically and financially while disregarding all other Kenyans.

Who bought Kengen if I may ask? The scheme by Kibaki is evil at best. it is meant to subjugate and marginalize none Kikuyus politically, economically and intellectually.
Thank God Kenyans discovered your schemes before you went far!

Sample this:

Scholarships from government and China in the last four years favored Mt Kenyans more than all other Kenyans – ask Mutua [Govt Spokesman] to publish the list

Kenya Revenue Authority. From the fleas in the offices to the the head of Kenya Revenue Authorithy are from Central Province. Scheme: collect money and pass on some of it to Mt Kenyans.

Most PCs, DCs, DOs and police chiefs in Rift Valley, Nyanza, etc are from Mt Kenya. Scheme: suppress and subjugate government critics in these areas given that people in these regions are marginalized in everything.

In New York, The Kenyan Ambassador to the UN Mr. Zachariah Dominic Mburi-Muita recently got Kikuyus from Kenya and in the last 6 months alone hired 15 of them as Locals. You get to that office and it is all Kikuyus some have no offices and work on corridors; Kukuyu Language has become the official language in the Kenyan Mission to the UN office. Get there and it is all Kikuyus, No wander Kenyans and international bodies are tired of them. People suffer from what ha scommonly come to be known as "The Kikuyu fatigue".

Constitution: Kibaki told Kenyans that The Bomas of Kenya Draft Constitution was the best for Kenya and promised that it would become Kenya Constitution 100 days after his inauguration. He never Kept the promise…he tried to unilaterally write another constitution favoring his cronies and kin that was CERTAINLY defeated at the referendum. How would anyone trust him when he promises heaven in his campaigns? How about the MOU, The instrument that was used to CON Kenyans into voting him into power!!! – Keriri recently confessed it was a scheme to get 'US' into power…HOW CAN ANYONE TRUST A WORD FROM THIS MAN'S MOUTH???

While Kibaki is giving Mt Kenyans money to invest in businesses and buy government corporations on sale, he is busy bribing none Kikuyus with districts which are not self-sustaining, colleges and university campuses which in reality do not belong to the locals.

How about Anglo-Leasing debacle? Has anyone forgotten that billions were stolen and Kibaki, according former PS Mr John Githongo, knows where the money went.

Kibaki has always boasted of economic growth. How can such happen without people benefiting. The ordinary guy in the village cannot afford sugar and bread. The prices of these items which most Kenyans survive on have more than doubled since 2002…These two are made from locally raised crops and yet they are very expensive. What does economic growth mean when the ordinary bread and sugar are luxuries to many Kenyans?

And now the MOTHER of all: Have you ever wondered WHY kuyos will never support anyone other than one of their own…think back….TRY AS HARD to recall such instance…pole can see you are getting a headache because HAKUNA…all the way from independence: Moi in all his years ruled without Mt Kenya's support and votes YET everyone else, at one point or another has SUPPORTED and VOTED for you… The late Odinga started off with Kenyatta and we thought after so many years, you have learnt and now ready to jumuika na wakenya wengine ndio we trooped in the thousands and voted in Kibaki, lakini, Lo!! Enough is enough-you should never blame Kenyans if they NEVER EVER elect your ilk into office again…at least in the next few generations, SAHAU KABISA"

Reducing Our National Heroes to Zero

Events from this year’s Kenyatta day celebrations paints a very scenario for Kenya. One question that comes to mind is the need and rationale of holding public meetings that besides nostalgia add no meaningful value to our national stature. Wasting economic man hours in the scorching sun listening to political rants and showdowns is nothing to be proud of in the 21st Century.

We need clearly defined holidays meant to celebrate Kenya’s liberation and freedom that is bereft of personalities. An honest look into our past reveals naming of these holidays as the genesis of cult building and worshipping among our leaders. A change to Mashujaa Day would make more sense in honouring all heroes while taking the focus away from an individual.

By extension if the truth be don’t some section of Kenyan have this misconception that they have LARGER stake in Kenya than the other 41+ communities. Yes that is rain that feeds our tribal superiority complex. Tribal tensions have never been higher in Kenya’s 40+ years of independence.

Give a Kenyan politician a handshake and he will surely extend it past the elbow. Using public forum meant to foster national unity and cohesion to advance sectarian politic is to belittle the collective intelligence of Kenyans. We must think outside the box and reclaim our country from these scoundrels.

Perils of Personality Politics
The three leading presidential aspirants can be aptly characterized as: perfectionist of old school of thinking, handsome cowards and charismatic potential bullies. You are at liberty to attach names to each of these descriptions and I guarantee you won’t go wrong.

The unpleasant truth is that all the presidential aspirants are peddling lies which is amplified by their foot soldiers. While others are simply stroking fears among Kenyans. Part of this gang instead of fighting for political office, they are cleverly marshaling their supporters into a collective fright. The others are taking advantage of our gullibility to shepherd Kenyans into collective hatred for others.

Our politicians must be alive to the truism that you don't add any value to your campaign by bashing your opponent of supping with the critic to your enemy. But alas that is alien reality to our political shores. Engaging in reverse logic by attempting to punish what you cannot conquer is naivety at its best and destructive at worst.

Continuing with Moi’s ruinous legacy of trivializing national issues to cheap propaganda must be condemned. We are all slaves to that error which perfected grandiose ego trips at the expense of the national good. Kenya is bigger than any of these pretenders and belongs to all of us. We must stop being apologists to delusions minted by these scoundrels. The real Kenyans must stand up and do it now and not tomorrow for that will be too late. But will we? Your guess is as good as mine. And we haven't seen anything yet.

Show Me How To Win An Election

The election date is hardly set in concrete even as the deadline for the December festive season draws ever near. In the next 66 days, give or take the impending dissolution of the 9th parliament, 30 million Kenyans will dip their hands inside a ballot box, preferrably translucent not opaque, seeking to elect to office men and women who potentially could be just as incompetent as some of the current men and women office holders.
As recently exhibited yesterday at the celebrations to mark Kenyatta day, potential political candidates have given up behaving well in the hope of being judged worthy of election or re-election as the case may be. All three national parties are banking on the fact that the electorate will give them a majority win at the polls simply because Kenyans have always voted against rather than for somebody
What is this December 2007 election going to be about? A battle to decide the identity of the fourth president of the republic of Kenya? A system of regional and devolved federal Government versus the current system of centralised and top-down Government?The coming to a head of a centuries old political rivalry that runs deep between 2 of Kenya's largest tribes? I'm sure you have your own opinions on the what appear to be the main issues that these next general elections hinge upon
More than in any other previous general election, what the voting majority block are seeking to be clear about this time is to ascertain beforehand the fitness (in every sense of the word) of the candidate they are backing. The bitter experience of the social and economic slavery that continues unabated after each promising annual election is still very fresh in our mouths and the democratic freedom of choice to choose is under threat of becoming a curse- its become too bewildering to know whether the daily work of plundering the country unashamedly will continue on come January 1st 2008 or whether this time the high-level feeding frenzy amongst the untouchable corrupt will be inhibited and the 43 year old national cake will be freshly shared out for the enrichment of pumbavus and non-pumbavus alike
In looking forward to the next generation of future leaders, I console myself with the thought that with every passing year, 2012 draws ever closer and the true unconscious democracy of Kenya where all decent, hard-working mwananchi will have an equal opportunity to truly jivunia kuwa mkenya will no longer be destroyed by voting and elections
Kenya, its your time to show you know how to win an election

Stop Press: Moi Meeting With Mutula Kilonzo Was To Discuss Kumekucha

Stop Press: Breaking News

Impeccable sources have just informed me that the recent meeting, whose agenda everybody is speculating about, between retired Presidfent Moi, Mutula Kilonzo Daniel Maanzo and a few representatives from President Kibaki was NOT to discuss any particular political union but in fact discussed a most unlikely subject.

Top on the agenda of discussion was Kumekucha. Yep. This blog.

Apparently Moi is furious at the publication of Kenya Betrayed (which we started serializing about 2 weeks ago), more so when the author is a person who knows him intimately well. In fact author Matrianne Brinner has already been threatened several times when she first published A Shining Star without including the real names of the players. Mutula Kilonzo told Briner then that she would have to face "a battle of Tsunami proportions" and that "even if she went to hide in the moon" they would find her and sue her for everything she was worth.

What has now upset the old man even more is the publication by Briner elsewhere of Daniel arap Moi and Mwai Kibaki - the Making of a Kenyan President http://mariannebriner-excellency.blog.com

Interestingly you will remember that Mutula has insisted all along that the meeting had nothing to do with politics and was that of a client and his lawyer. He may just be telling the truth as this latest bombshell seems to suggest.

It is widely known within inner circles that Mutula Kilonzo is campaigning very hard to be the next AG.

It is not known what else the former President may have read in Kumekucha that he did not like. Unlike laid-back-hakuna-matata-President-Kibaki, Moi is known to be ultra-senstive about some of these things.

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Why Kenya Is In Big Trouble

I just want to make two quick points today.

Firstly, the events of Kenyatta day have sadly proved what I said here just a few days ago. And that is the fact that the President and his men have taken this battle against Raila Odinga and ODM very personally. That should be very bad news for ALL Kenyans across the political divide.

Who wants to be involved in a personal battle? I certainly don’t and no person in their right mind would want to. What this means is that there are no rules. This is personal. The whole idea is to make sure the other man loses come what may.

Again armed with this information, the reports we have been receiving concerning the Langata voter’s register start to make a lot of sense. Basically my dear fellow Kenyans, there is very big trouble ahead of us. May the good Lord have mercy.

Secondly, there is something else that has now clearly come out about the current political situation in Kenya. President Kibaki is fighting the political battle of his career and the only problem is that he has nothing from his past to prepare him for what is already happening and will continue to unfold in the next few weeks.

Let me explain.

President Moi had a nightmare of a time as the country’s VP and he survived it for 12 long horrible years. This man was right there at the centre when the murderous blood-thirsty Kiambu Mafia of President Kenyatta ruled and did what they felt like. I am sure that it was not fun for Moi and he must have cried in bed at night many times because he was between a rock and a hard place. He couldn’t resign and go away because he knew too much and would have almost certainly been murdered and yet staying on was a horrible never-ending nightmare.

Moi found that he had to be very careful and think ahead before doing any tiny little thing. It was very good political training for what lay ahead of him as...

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Defection Watch: Noah Joins the Ark

Noah Katana Ngala's defection to ODM has finally brought down the curtains on Kanu. Mama na Baba has now seen all its vice chair decamp to ODM. And true to form politicians never disappoint.

After defending Kanu for ages and even attempting to wrestle it from Uhuru by ganging up with Biwotti, Ngala finally saw the light. By claiming that ODM is Noah’s Ark, the lyrical Ngala made his position and pitch known to all and sundry. He ices the cake by adding that his move is a fulfilment of the journey the Ark and his namesake undertook to rescue (Kenya). Noah couldn't stand Uhuru anymore whom he denounced for betraying Kanu's belief besides selling its identity to PNU.

So where to from here for both Kanu and Kenya? Well with the self-proclaimed professor of Kenyan politics still alive, you only write Kanu's epitaph prematurely at your own political peril. As for Kenya the future is unfolding right before our eyes and we have the unique opportunity to shape it. But will we? Only time will tell. Na bado.

English Footbal Casuality of Success

That pride comes before a fall could be more true for the English football. The poor form of the English game can be squarely placed at the doorsteps of misplaced English pride. The inward look approach to football management is their bane. The Premier League has exposed some of Africa's great footballers and by extension we have a latent say and concern in its management.

Media blitz makes mundane Premier League look so exotic such that one would be excused to mistake one average player in the name of Rooney as a world-class lethal striker. Give it to the English they can prop one of their own oblivious of glittering success from the competition.

The poor form of the national England team can be attributed to the over hyped success of the Premier League. In fact the the Premier League management looks at FA as its competitor instead of complementing it. This has seen the erosion of the expected nourishment of the national side from the Premier League players. Time off for national duty is often frowned upon by club managers who even have the cheek to dictate the amount of time the players spend with the national team.

The sorry state of English is an apt case of club success breading national failure. The English may pride themselves as the inventors of modern football (Chinese actually invented the game), but unless they put their priorities right they may as well fade into football oblivion.

Bite the bullet
The FA must reinvent itself if it want to remain relevant. They must look for the right manager (coach) with eyes singularly trained on quality and results. This means they must stop discriminating coaches on account of their Passports.

Hollow national pride may cost them all they have in their possession already. With Jose Mourinho, Jorgen Klinsmann already showing interest to succeed the under performing Steve McLaren, the FA have only one right decision to make. But will they bite the bullet? Only time will tell.

Twelve Open Questions to Stanley Livondo

Dear Mr. Livondo,

After reading a lot about you in the Kenyan press and observing your fidgeting behaviour while seated behind the ODM pentagon at Nyayo Stadium today, I am compelled, as a registered voter in Langata, to put the following questions to you.

1. Firstly, when (date) did you register yourself as a voter in Langata in order to qualify to run as MP? Are you a resident of the constituency?
2. Secondly, in what way were you ever involved with the National Rainbow Coalition (NARC) that brought President Kibaki to power in 2002?
3. Thirdly, during the constitutional referendum in 2005, which side did you vote and which polling station, presumably in Langata, did you cast your vote?
4. I will now go personal. I hope you will not mind, because as a public figure, and an aspiring MP, I am obliged to ask personal questions.Is it correct that you were once employed as a chauffeur in Mombasa a few years ago?
5. Who (name) was your ‘boss’ or 'mentor' who elevated your status, from what your grandmother told the press you once was?
6. Do you have any relation (blood or otherwise) with any 9th parliament Kenyan legislator? If yes, who?
7. As an established businessman in this country, please tell Kenyans especially Langata voters, what business you engage in because it is a question you evaded in a press conference recently. (At least we know Raila is an ex-detainee, a gas cylinder manufacturer as well as a power alcohol manufacturer in Kisumu).
8. Have you ever had any association, however minor, with the Artur Brothers?
9. It will be useful to read your comments about the Langata Constituency CDF account, please indulge us on the same for the entire life of the 9th Parliament. I am sure you have it in your possession.
10. Is it a factual (reality) that your wife is known as IDA LIVONDO and that you have three humvees in your driveway not to mention a helicopter at Wilson Airport?
11. As a registered voter in Langata, I would appreciate if you could confirm to me that Langata constituency goes beyond Kibera and that you will commit to campaign in the entire constituency?
12. What do you think are your legistlative strengths relative to Mr. Raila Odinga as current Langata MP and Mr. Ndura Waruinge as your fellow aspirant? Please be as exhaustive as possible.
    

Thank you and all the best in your endeavour to be elected member of parliament of Langata.

Sincerely,
Philmon Othieno Wesonga
Concerned Voter
Langata Constituency

PS. Take note that failure to respond to this open letter will compel me to respond on your behalf within a week from today's date.

What Do The Strange Secret Meetings Between ODM Kenya, Moi And Kibaki Aides Mean?

Is Kalonzo Musyoka About To Cross Over To PNU With His Hoo Ndii Emm?

Please put on your thinking caps for this one. The question is really simple. Why else would Kalonzo’s people, Moi and Kibaki’s people have a meeting?

To discuss the runaway economic growth (are you there Luke)? Or perhaps to chat about the changing weather patterns in the country?

As you can clearly see it is difficult to come to any other conclusion except that the meeting must have had something to do with the forthcoming general elections and most probably a possible merger between the groups represented. We can therefore speculate that what was being thrashed out was the thorny issue of joint nominations for parliamentary and civic candidates in the event of such a merger.

You may disagree with my conclusion and suggest that perhaps the trio were discussing a coalition merger after the general elections and you could well be right. Chances are high that whoever wins the presidency, a merger between Kanu, PNU and ODM Kenya will give that side the majority of MPs and control over what happens in the 10th parliament. Meaning that if Raila wins they can still send Kenyans back to the polls with a quick no confidence vote.

Control over parliament is something that is proving to be increasingly important as Kenya’s infant multi-party democracy starts to teeth. A mother will tell you that when a toddler goes through the issues and problems related to teething it can be quite a challenging time for mother and child.

More evidence that a merger of sorts is in the works are the chilling words of Baba Giddy recently. He said; “This ODM honeymoon is about to end.” Is this what he meant? Because the truth is that whenever the old man makes statements like that, experience has shown me to have sleepless nights. I remember only too well the similarly chilling remark he made shortly after the re-introduction of multi-party democracy in Kenya (something that he was forced to do under enormous pressure). The Mzee said “Hi multi party itawachoma!” (This multi party will burn you.) Shortly after that knowing remark, houses and human corpses were going up in flames in large numbers all over the Rift Valley and a new term—ethnic clashes—found itself into the daily news vocabulary in Kenya. It has not quite left to date but only appears around election time.

So I fely a chill go up my spine when the old man recently said in the Rift Valley; “Hii Honeymoon ya ODM inaisha hivi karibuni.” I did not feel this way because of being a die hard ODM supporter (because I AM NOT). But I felt the way I did because I feared the repercussions on the country as a result of the method that was going to be used to accomplish that prophecy.

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Hosea Kiplagat: Defection or Deception?

Hosea Kiplagat's defection to ODM from Kanu aptly captures the adage that politics makes of strange bed fellows. But wait a minute. Politicians being the scoundrels per excellence the are, ODM brigade may be advised not to pop champagne yet.

Anybody familiar with Rift Valley politics and Moi's in particular cannot buy easily the idea of his CONFIDANT abandoning his master no matter what. During Moi's presidency Hongkong as close buddies called Hosea was the defacto MP for Baringo Central. While Kulei ran business errands, Kiplagat was Moi's eyes and eyes on the nitty gritty and on the ground.

It took Moi's personal intervention to persuade Hosea from contesting Baringo Central seat in 2002 in favour of his son, Gideon. It therefore comes as a real SHOCKER to see Moi's righthand man back Raila whom the ex-president has no good word for. In all this charade and apparent conquest their may lie a catch/trap and a big one.

Two lessons can be derived from recent events that has witnessed Moi's close confidants in the North and South Rift Valley troop to ODM. Either Moi's former blue-eyed boys have come to the realization that they have lives to live own their own, or ODM is busy fattening the serpent from within.

Payback time
If Hosea were to vie then that would be One more political enemy (read opponent) too many. After loudly falling out with Kulei, Gedion must brace himself for a duel of his life come December elections. That Hosea is his blood relation even muddies the political water more. What is more. Being senior Moi's political pointman, the locals regard him so highly and associate most developments to him. His local network would cause Giddy nightmares.

But either way, politics scores are premised more on perception than reason and reality. ODM's coup is massive even if its value remains sentimental. The psychological war may just work in creating motions than translate into real movements. One hopes they leave nothing to any trace of naivety lest they inadvertently hand over their political goose to the alley cat.

Breaking News Mon 31/12/07: Wishing on a Horse?

Tears as Kibaki leaves State House
Tears flowed freely among State House employees yesterday as they watched Mr Mwai Kibaki board an Air Force helicopter at 3.40pm and fly away to his Nyeri home to begin his retirement.

The employees, who were joined by the Head of the Civil Service, Francis Muthaura, and former Nominated MP, Cecily Mbarire, watched in disbelief as Mr Kibaki, a resident at State House for 5 years, made his exit.

The former President walked from his office, which he had handed over to President Raila Odinga, to the helicopter parked on the lawns of State House 100 meters away accompanied by his two sons, Jimmy and David. A second helicopter was used by senior State House officials who included the Comptroller, Mr Hyslop Ipu, and Isaih Kabira, the head of the Presidential Press Service.

Earlier, at 3.10pm, Mr Kibaki arrived back from the handing over ceremony at Uhuru Park driven in a convoy of six cars and five out-riders. He then went straight into his old office where he waited for his successor to arrive and show him around.

His presidential standard on one of the two flag poles atop State House had been removed and replaced with Mr Odinga's, which bore an Orange with a white background.

President Odinga's convoy entered the gates of State House at 3.25pm and an army officer played a military tune on a trumpet to signify the change of guard. The convoy of six cars led by five out-riders moved at a snails pace from the gates to the main building as scores of State House workers, ODM supporters and the Press lined the avenue to watch the historic event.

Seated back left in the Mercedes Benz 600 with the First Lady Ida, a jovial Mr Odinga waved the orange salute to his supporters, who responded in kind. President Odinga held a closed door meeting with his predecessor, whom he worked under as Minister for 2 years, before biding Mr Kibaki farewell.

The programme had indicated that the two would eat lunch together, but Mr Kibaki left immediately after the brief meeting. Mr Kibaki accompanied by his eldest and youngest son, David and Jimmy, briskly walked the 100 metres and boarded one of the waiting choppers.

Sources at State House confirmed that Mr Kibaki arrived at his office at 9 am yesterday and took a 2 hour nap as has been his practice for the past 5 years at the helm.

The former President then held closed-door meetings with several people including former Vice-President Moody Awori, and Kanu chairman and a loser in Gatundu, Mr Uhuru Kenyatta.

The meetings went on until 1.30pm when he departed for Uhuru Park after eating lunch with Mr Awori and former Cabinet ministers and ex-MPs Mr Chirau Mwakwere, Mr Musikari Kombo and Mr Kivutha Kibwana, former Kamukunji MP Mr Norman Nyagah and former assistant minister and immediate former subukia MP Mr Koigi Wamwere.

At Uhuru Park, Mr Kibaki paid glowing tribute to his successor, describing him as a man of integrity and courage.

He recalled the years the two served together, and asserted that President Raila had served him with loyalty and dedication.

On arrival at his Nyeri home at 4.25pm, Mr Kibaki criticised the incoming government for blaming his regime for the country's corruption problems "when they knew very well that those were inherited from former president Moi's government."

"This affected the running of my government," he said. "I thank my civil servants and armed forces for having served me diligently."

On the just concluded General Election, he accused the media of failing to do justice to Kenyans. From the beginning of campaigns, he said, the entire Press went against PNU instead of letting the people to decide on their own.


On arrival at Nyeri, he was received by family members, others were farm workers.
He paused for five minutes to receive two salutes from three military jets which flew past his compound. He took the salute flanked by six Kenya Air Force service men led by Major Mrashue.

Think Twice

I received this mail in my inbox in response to my article about tribalism (http://kumekucha.blogspot.com/2007/10/tribalism-kenyas-blood-sucking-vampire.html).
I have reproduced it here in its entirety.

Bro. have you ever stayed and worked with a kikuyu? These people are triblist(sic). Pliz help this nation bye(sic) voting Raila.

Vijana na Kibaki

Vijana wazee! Who is fooling whom here?

1. VIJANA NA KIBAKI
Moi - 1924
Awori - 1927
Karume - 1929
Michuki - 1930
Kibaki - 1931
Nyachae - 1932
Muhoho - 1938
Muthaura - 1940
Kombo - 1944
Makwere -1945

Mean age = 73

2. ODM Pentagon
Raila - 1945
Nyaga - 1950
Musalia - 1960
Ruto - 1966
Balala - 1967

Mean age=49

3. REST OF AFRICA
South Africa : Mbeki - 1942
Uganda: Museveni - 1945
Tanzania: Kikwete - 1950
Nigeria: YarAdua - 1951
Ethiopia: Zenawi - 1955
Rwanda: Kagame - 1957
Burundi: Nkurunziza - 1963
DRC: Kabila - 1971

Mean age=53

Why Raila Odinga Will Lose The Langata Parliamentary Seat

Intensive investigations by Kumekucha clearly show that if elections were to be held today, there is no way that Raila Odinga will be able to retain his Langata constituency seat.

What has been quietly going on at the constituency, behind the scenes is a very deliberate effort to ensure that thousands of Kenyans will be unable to vote not to mention the fact that tens of thousands of voters mainly from Central province have been registered in the constituency to vote with the sole objective of ensuring that the ODM presidential candidate never sees the inside of the 10th parliament, let alone the presidency.

Analysts are seeing a wider scheme that will give the numerous ODM supporters a nasty shock when election results are announced. It is also now crystal clear why the president did not renew deputy chairman Gabriel Mukele’s tenure at the commission despite a lot of pressure from the opposition, civil society and even the diplomatic corps. This latest revelation also clearly gives an indication of why there is no way that experienced Samuel Kivuitu’s contract at the helm of the ECK will be renewed. And this is the reason why the sly old man has started playing politics in a high stakes game that he could easily end up winning. With the latest information, it also now makes a lot of sense to elevate newly appointed commissioner Mrs Pamela Tutui to the helm of ECK. She would have no chance in hell of sorting out the mess that will emerge on election day with majority of Kenyans crying foul, many not fully understating what has been done.

But let me start at the beginning.

Impeccable sources have assured this writer that the President’s team has never quite...

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Kivuitu’s Political Gamble

ECK chair, Samuel Kivuitu is a former MP for Westlands constituency—then called Parklands constituency, so he is not a novice in the game of politics.

It is now emerging that the ECK chairman has taken a huge gamble by sending a circular to all political parties warning them that their nomination papers for candidates may not be accepted if they have not fielded a presidential candidate. The most affected party in this matter is of course the President’s PNU party which is banking on the support of numerous affiliate parties who will not field a presidential candidate. Not everybody supports this interpretation of the law by the ECK chairman but there is no arguing that he is supposed to be the boss (at least until December 2nd this year) when it comes to all matters electoral.

But it would appear that the real objective of the experienced ECK chairman is to put the president in a difficult situation where his failure to renew Kivuitu’s contract will be seen as an attempt to control the electoral process in his favor. It is the kind of gamble that can easily backfire but it is also the kind that can work like a dream. After all Kivuitu has nothing to lose because it is clear that currently the president has no intention of prolonging the ECK chairman’s tour of duty.

So let’s see what happens.

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Why The Text Book Version Of PNU Strategy Does Not Work Practically

A Kumekucha informer has just passed on information about a small campaign speech that PNU die hard Danstone Mungatana gave in his constituency recently.

He told supporters that he does not mind if they do not agree with him over his choice for president, what they need to do is to vote him back to parliament so that he may continue to fight for their interests. There was enthusiastic acceptance of this remark from the people he was addressing.

Most of Coast province is currently ODM territory.

As I predicted earlier, this Mungatana statement is bound to be a very common one indeed countrywide when the elections proper commence. Note that when you stand on a certain party ticket it is virtually mandatory for you to support your presidential candidate and even where you do not, voters will position you against your presidential candidate and make the decision whether or not to vote for you based on your presidential candidate’s reputation and standing with the electorate. Matters get a little confusing when your party has no presidential candidate and is instead supporting one from another political party.

This is the kind of trouble one runs into when they try to re-invent the wheel. Clearly PNU is a sitting duck when it comes to being dumped by supporting affiliate party candidates in the heat of the campaigns.

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Love Made In The Slums Of Kenya

When I lived in Kibera, I shared my modest crib with Onyango,Kimani,Kipngeno,Mutisya and Abdi.

Abdi and Kimani shared a bed because Abdi was new to the city. The only thing that seperated our "bedrooms" was a "leso", an old dirty bed sheet and a black polythene sheet that Mutisya had picked on his way from Industrial area.

We shared everything and we showered in shifts and on alternate Sundays. Life was hard but we were happy.

Kimani pushed mkoko at Marigiti and in the evening he will come home with a mixture of almost everything that was sold at the market.From it, we made a stew.

Everyday it tasted distinctly different and authentic even though the ingredients remained the same, the quantity varied. Sometimes the pilipili or dania will be in plenty hence the taste of the day. We listened to Kameme together and KBC salamu za hodi hodi together and shared ushindi bar soap for washing and geisha Kubwa for bathing. Played draughts at weekends.

In short we were more than brothers, and we remained so for 5 years until the elections were called.

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When The Chickens Don't Come To Roost

Whether or not this December is the mother of all general elections, let us remember in the midst of it all to take time to laugh together as Kenyans, as these lovely ladies in prison have shown. Indeed for some of us, laughter is the best medicine to absorb the shock ahead as they prepare themselves for the loss of their favourite presidential candidate.

Raila Odinga Now Elicits Regional Excitement

It appears Raila Odinga stature is now growing beyond Kenya's borders and causing big men to shift uneasily in their seats.

A report appearing in the Standard on 17/Oct/2007 and attributed to an opposition Uganda MP says that meeting between US President George Bush and Ugandan leader Yoweri Museveni later this month on 30/Oct/2007 is likely to discuss Kenya’s General Election, and especially the fact that ODM's Raila Odinga is likely to be Kenya's next president.

Apparently, Uganda's president Yoweri Museveni is 'uncomfortable' with such prospects and will be seeking President Bush's assistance in preventing it.

Before these stories emerged, South Sudan observers were surprised when a cabinet reshuffle affected Mrs. Rebecca Garang, the widow of the late SPLM Commander John Garang. This was shortly after Rebecca Garang had made sensational comments at a ceremony in Nairobi to honour her late husband where she expressly said her husband had been assasinated. The late Garang died while being ferried home in Yoweri Museveni's 'presidential helicopter' piloted by Museveni's crew. It still remains unclear why Museveni did not attend Garang's funeral in person. Garang's death has never been resolved. Is Museveni fearing that a Raila government may unearth his role in Garang's death? Is there a battle of OIL unfolding in the great lakes region? South Sudan has huge deposits of oil and Uganda recently struck oil deposits.

The Government Of South Sudan (GOSS) has never been the same since Rebecca's claims. Infact, early this week, the GOSS suspended their participation in central government in Khartoum and the Comprehensive Peace Agreement which brought to end Africa's longest and bloodiest civil war is facing serious threats of collapsing.

Can Kumekucha readers spot the connection here?

Kalonzo Musyoka, Kenya's ex-Foreign Affairs Minister always prides himself as being the achitect of peace in Sudan. It seems he did not complete the job.

On the other hand, Moi is the South Sudan peace envoy, appointed just a few months ago by President Kibaki as Chairman of IGADD.

Raila, a SPLA founder member, is known to be close to current GOSS leaders and it may be that the GOSS are not happy with Moi's antics or that Raila has complained to GOSS commanders about Moi's opposition to his ascendancy to Kenya's presidency.

Could Raila's imminent corranation be reason for the near collapse of the Sudan CPA?

Is Museveni's trip to the White House because of the same reasons?

Museveni is now chasing Moi's record as one of Africa's longest serving dictators. President Bashir of Sudan is another, as is Ethiopia's Premier Meles Zenawi. Only Jakaya Kikwete of Tanzania, Rwanda's Paul Kagame and DRC's Joseph kabila have democratic credentials and appear to be unfazed by the prospects of a Raila presidency.

And why should Moi, heart patient in his mid eighties, expend all his energies in local politics fighting ODM instead of being the cool diplomat he has been appointed to be, particularly now that regional peace is under severe threat?

Obviously, Raila Odinga - already named the 2nd Mandela of Africa - is the Renaissance Man, not just for Kenya, but the whole of Africa as well. Time will tell.

Coming Slow, But is he Sure?

Many theories and explanations have been coined to explain Kalonzo's colourful launch of his presidential bid. One thing that stands out from all the analysis is that the Mwingi North MP is building political momentum that is threatening to upset the hitherto two-horse race.

Either the donkey has undergone a transplant and acquired a horse legs or the horses' legs have gone jelly and soon transforming themselves into an ass. Give it to Steve the confidence he exudes betrays any sense of losing. And in the even that he fails to make it, his attitude makes for a very respectable loser.

The change in Kalonzo's political fortune can be attributed to many things. One either his composure is an indication he knows something the opinion polls are not telling us or he has a watertight fallback plan B. Being an astute politician, Pauline's sweetheart cannot be naive and he knows the benefits of foolproof fall back when the chips are down.

Three-party Kenya
Behind every political dark clouds may just lie some national silver lining. May be, and just may be, the present division and tension would help herald a three-party Kenyan state. What a blessing in disguise that would see the tribal outfits die a natural death? That would be a marvelous wishful thinking which is realizable if only the parties would have their foundations premised on distinct ideologies unlike the present Kanu clones they shamelessly are.

Kalonzo’s bid to State House may be the unconscious button that would elevate Kenya to another level of political maturity. Staying the cause would certainly see his respectable regardless of the outcome. Were he to lose, he would definitely be in a class of his own not comparable to one Mr Simeon Nyachae in 2002. Go Steve go.

Amos Kimunya Insults ODM: Could He Be The Mysterious Kioko OF BC?

Kumekucha tech experts checking if IP address leads back to the Treasury

I am in shock.

I have carefully studied the recent utterances of the Finance Minister of the Republic of Kenya to the press and they have left me numb with shock because they bare an uncanny resemblance to the abusive comments a notorious commentator here called Kioko of BC has been leaving in this blog.


Amos Kimunya, the cabinet minister with very shifty eyes: Can he be trusted at the Treasury?

Amos Kimunya you know, but for those who have no idea who Kioko of BC is, let me introduce him. For quite a while now we have had one crazy infamous commentator who visits Kumekucha daily without fail, called Kioko of British Columbia, Canada (or so he claims). It is through this man that I first came to hear of a place called Kavirondo Gulf and if you check most of his abusive comments here they are bound to include the word kihii. Several readers suggested that he should go and launch a foreskin blog since that seems to be his pet subject and obsession.

Looking at the utterances of one Amos Kimunya recently they bare an uncanny resemblance to the words of the infamous Kioko here. Could they be the same person? Is the Finance Minister leaving abusive comments here in this blog but not using his real name?

Sample this;

“There is fear amongst investors over these other people taking over government.”

“These people do not understand the stock exchange. This is not a fish market.”


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Are you a registered voter? Confirm now at the ECK site. Just enter your ID number OR Voter’s card Number at the top right hand corner of the site.

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Is the Langata Voter's Register Genuine?

When Juja MP William Kabogo complained that his constituents were being 'exported' to register as voters in Nairobi not many people paid attention to what the man was saying. Apparently some PNU cabinet ministers in Nairobi have been mandated to stem the ODM wave in the city and to ensure that they make political life as difficult as possible for Raila Odinga who is the current Langata MP and the biggest threat to President Kibaki's re-election plans. None of the other aspirants have addressed any successful campaign rally in the constituency because violence has always broken out whenever they attempt to campaign there.

Press advertisements in today's press say that all PNU parliamentary and civic aspirants in the city will be having a meeting at the Kasarani Gymnasium on 19/Oct/2007 at 09h00. The agenda of the meeting is unspecified.

The fact of the matter is that tens of thousands of voters who are not residents of Langata constituency were made to take advantage of recent voter registration exercise and transferred their voting stations from other areas to Langata constituency.

PNU agents have been accused of spending time and money inside the constituency buying voters cards from poor constituents who sometimes have to make a choice between going hungry or selling a constitutional right. Both the police and ECK have not made any arrest despite glaring evidence of voter buying countrywide.

To make matters worse, the ECK's own SMS verification number is not returning confirmatory results to voters registered in Langata and its website is returning results of up to May 2007 and earlier.

Part of the strategy is to keep the present MP Raila Odinga deeply engrossed fighting constituency wars. If the strategy works well, Raila could well be staring at an embarrassing parliamentary race defeat in the forthcoming general elections against one Mr. Stanley Livondo and/or Mr. Ndura Waruinge.


Other allegations have emerged that the Electoral Commission of Kenya has allowed the voter register to be tampered with and many names have been intentionally double/triple registered so as to 'lawfully' disqualify supporters of Raila Odinga and enhance the chances for his opponents. A casual glance at ECK's official double register confirms that hundreds of thousands of voters will not be allowed to vote, not just in Langata, but in many regions perceived to be ODM strongholds. In Langata constituency, some voters have 'registered' more than six times in the same voting station. Who is responsible for ensuring double registration does not occur?

ECK's ability towards maintaining an acceptable voter's register has now been put into serious doubt being that majority of the commissioners have been appointed by the president who is in all sense and manner an interest party in the electoral contest. This practice, though not illegal, is in great contrast to the previous ECK commisssioner appointments which were done to also allow opposition parties nominate their choices to the ECK alongside those of the ruling party.

President Kibaki is reportedly due to visit Kibera this week to present title deeds to the Nubian Community who are Muslims and number about 10,000 voters in Langata. Land is a very emotive and controversial issue in Kibera as with the rest of the country. Additionally, there are non Nubian communities who have lived in Kibera for generations. The land in Kibera has not been demarcated and one wonders how the government will determine genuine beneficiaries. The basis of the presidential visit, it seems, will be to officially present Stanley Livondo as PNU pointman in Langata, and allow him to address first his campaign rally in Kibera, under the watchful eyes of presidential security. Let us hope no insults will be thrown to opposition or residents as this may result in skirmishes or even death. Questions are still being asked; Who is this man Livondo? I hope Chris will use his good investigative and research skills to unearth the truth about Livondo one day.

It will take much more than massive rigging to vote out Raila Odinga in Langata and it is hoped that for the avoidance of bloodshed and instability, the ECK will move fast and re-open the voters registration so as to adjust anomalies to the satisfaction of all concerned parties.

On its part, the ODM is said to be seriously discussing the voter's register issue and a specialist team is said to be critically looking at Langata constituency with regard to ODM's presidential ambitions. Very soon, we shall be able to report progress here.

Smart Kivuitu Beats Them All

Once a politician always one. So people naively think that the ECK boss, Samuel Kivuitu's URGENT letter to all political parties clarifying that they must have three-piece-suit nominees targets PNU and Kibaki. Well, on a sober reflection the converse is true. Smart Kivuitu is killing two pricey political birds with no stone.

First the old guys knows better. He was in Bongo inside real class being trained to think to join the learned family. His announcemnet amounts to practicing the basic tents of law: if possible give the law its simplest interpretation.

The one-time Westalands MP knows what is at stake. With all the politicians scrambling for Emilio's coattails, that single scare from Kivuitu will make all of them abandon their separate schemes which threaten to derail Baba Jimmy's campaign. And what a smart way to earn his contract extension?

Only political neophytes will fail to see through Sam's 'harmless' shot that appear to momentarily excit the opposition while obtusely serve his personal interest.

Campaign Trail and Dishing Goodies

A post is a post is a post hata kama ni ya siku mbili. Dr Wilfred Machage has finally landed the 'coveted' ministerial flag in the EA community docket. And in true Nyayo tradition of replacing one with a similar species, Bureti MP Paul Sang is the brand new minister for Healtth. What a marvellous way to crown their parliamentary stint?

Poor Jebii Kilimo, she has been snubbed for more weighty stuff. There must be more political premium attached to South Rift than Othaya ndogo (Marakwet). And the forth coming polls is neither a Sunday school nor a nursery for breast feeding. And what a leap for Sang, from back bench to FULL minister. But trust the political liver juggling to leave nasty tastes in many mouths in its wake, more grumbling albeit silent.

Who is that fool assaulting our ears with the promise of no more roadside announcements? Make no mistake there are ‘primitive’ Nyayo roadside announcements and educated one from Makerere. Kisii is now not only one of the most heavily congested but indivisibly partitioned into miniature districts. Na hiyo ni maendeleo na kazi iendelee.

Why Pamela Tutui Must Resign From The ECK Immediately

Brand New ECK Vice Chair Loses Her Temper During Her First Brush With The Press

Pamela Mwikali Tutui today demonstrated on national TV precisely why she is NOT qualified to be the vice chair of the Electoral Commission of Kenya. To avoid a disaster that is just waiting to happen Ms Tutui should resign and head back to the sleepy city of Mombasa where most things happen in slow motion.


Pamela Mwikali Tutui: Brand new Vice Chair of ECK

Journalists were shocked earlier today when Ms Tuitui appeared to lose her temper over a question posed by one journalist shortly after she was sworn in this morning at Chief Justice Gicheru’s chambers. One wonders what will happen when the election campaigns start (let alone the elections proper) when there will be plenty for the good lady to lose her temper over.

It is clear that Ms Tutui thinks that her new appointment is not any different from her private practice in Mombasa. She seems totally unaware that hers is a public office and she should be ready at any time to answer questions from the press without taking things personally because the people of Kenya want to know.

Kenyans should now ask why would the government want to appoint a short-tempered inexperienced lady to the vice chair of the ECK just a few weeks before the most complex general elections in the history of Kenya?

Actually it has not become crystal clear that the Kibaki administration has no intention of running a free and fair election. The signs are all there for even the blind to read. Watch the next clincher when the experienced chairman will be replaced two or three weeks before the elections when his tenure runs out.

Just yesterday a man appeared before a Kibera court after being found with about 70 elector’s card in his brief case at Yaya Centra in Nairobi. Now why would somebody carry such a large number of elector’s cards in their briefcase?

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Interesting Times Are Here

Juja MP Mr William Kabogo (seated) receiving blessings from Bishop Maina Kegiao of the Grace Presbyterian Church at the Ruiru Stadium on Sunday. Later Hon Kabogo distributed 20 bicycles to area pastors.

Money or the box? All eyes on the price.

Hoo Ndii Emm Woyee As Mystery Of The Mammoth Crowd Persists

It is a fact that PNU struggled to fill the 40,000 capacity Nyayo Stadium during President Kibaki’s presidential campaign launch just over 2 weeks ago. Some of the gymnastics that the party had to go through included helping to finance national delegates conferences for affiliate parties which were organized at about the same time so as to avoid at all costs the Stadium being embarrassingly empty.

So the big mystery that almost every Kenyan on the street is talking about is how the 8% party managed to attract such a mammoth crowd to Uhuru Park.

All sorts of rumours are flying;

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The top 5 most popular articles on Kumekucha between 7 and 8 pm today (Kenyan time).

Why PNU Is Working Itself Into A Tight Corner

Both Raila Odinga’s presidential campaign and that of Kalonzo Musyoka are working hard to steer this campaign in the direction of issues. PNU on the other hand are determined to reduce this campaign into a tribal insult-hurling contest.

After Finance Minister Amos Kimunya told Kenyans that the stock exchange has lost a staggering 200 billion because of fear amongst investors that Raila may end up being president, the ODM candidate made a surprise appearance at the Nairobi Stock Exchange this morning and reassured Kenyans that his government would embrace the NSE and its objectives as a way to empower more Kenyans to participate in the economy of the country.

Meanwhile the PNU crowd have not responded to claims from both Raila and Kalonzo that they are preparing to rig the forthcoming polls. Nobody has moved to reassure Kenyans even after the appointment of a brand new inexperienced Vice Chair to the electoral commission. Something rather strange to do when we know that the chairman’s Samuel Kuvuitu’s tenure is bound to expire before the polls. So why would the government want inexperienced commissioners handling the most complex election in the history of Kenya? This is something that rattles investors much more than the face of one Agwambo, that you can be sure about.

So as Raila and kalonzo continue to raise issues and avoid insults, the PNU train is bound to run out of steam pretty quickly. This kind of thing needs a response to remain oiled and to run properly and so far the opposition have denied the government that.

It really is fascinating watching a government that ran out of ideas a long time ago, also run out of ideas for its’ campaign. In my view this thing of the president’s daughter...

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The top 5 most popular articles on Kumekucha between 7 and 8 pm today (Kenyan time).