Deadly State House PR Spin Machine At It Again

There was a time recently that legislators referred to Aden Duale as makanga wa State house. This past weekend those Kenyans who may not have had any idea what the heck mpigs were talking about got to fully understood the rather appropriate tag.

Duale is the key tool used by State house for spinning purposes.

Now not everybody understands what spinning is so wiseguys please be patient for a minute for me to explain. Everything in life including the marketing of a product but especially politics is ruled by the perception (and NOT necessarily the truth) of the relevant publics. No matter how bad the news is you can change (spin) the way the public should receive it for your own selfish purposes.

Let me give an example from an old movie that I downloaded and watched this past weekend. The movie is called Thank you for smoking and it proves that you can market poison itself successfully to folks who do not want to commit suicide. You just need to be good at spinning stuff. Anyway without boring you with the details the chief protagonist is a spin expert for tobacco companies at a time when the public in the US is beginning to realize that tobacco smoking is damaging to the health (despite tobacco companies spending millions to prove that no research has conclusively proved this). A sexy female reporter seduces him and gets all the info she wants via pillow-talk (always, always works). The guy is devastated when she publishes her article and reveals all his killer moves to kill millions who continue smoking because he is so good at what he does. "I thought what we talked about when we were F****** was off the record," he screams at her shortly after he is fired.

But the spin master is not cornered yet, not even after the kind of article that should have been the end of the story. He calls a press conference and tells the public that the said reporter obtained her information by seducing him and wonders if this is the official policy of the very respectable newspaper for getting stories.. Naturally the attention of the public shifts completely to the said seductress (forgetting her article).

Now what we are being told with a straight face is that the ICC cases were engineered with the sole purpose of ensuring Raila Odinga's smooth passage to power. The "confirmation" of this is what former ICC prosecutor Luis Moreno Ocampo said in some radio interview in the Netherlands. I have reviewed that interview and I can assure you that he DID NOT say anything that could be remotely interpreted the way Duale interpreted it.

But who cares? According to the grassroots supporters of Uhuruto the government has said it and so it must be gospel truth and that is the end of the story. As you read this some Kenyan grazing cattle in the countryside is saying to himself; "Kumbe Raila is such a nasty piece of work? Alitaka kumaliza mtu wetu"
To be honest with you I have never seen such an efficient spin machine as what has been installed in the banana republic just now in the heart of State house. Even Herr Hitler himself would have gone green with envy by just getting a glimpse into their work.

And remember that now that somebody has kicked up the dust attention will be diverted from other more important issues of the day like that smelly railway project that your great grand child will still be paying for by the time they go to their grave.

Very very smart!


Kumekucha's Recent News Analysis

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Will CORD's Plan To Remove Uhuru From Power Work?

These days I don't get the time to relax with cheap thrillers but I am NOT ashamed to say that for many years I have always enjoyed a good James Hardley Chase novel. Yep, those primary school kids novels. I have always been a sucker for the drama, suspense and edge-of-the-seat cheap tricks that make up these small books that were written by a Brit imitating American "thug language."

Will this man's calculated sucker punch against the JUBILEE Presidency work? 

My favourite has always been The Sucker punch which is the story of a perfect murder that went wrong because of one silly little detail. At some point the main character is watching a fight where there is this boxer clearly winning and all over his opponent. But his overconfidence is his undoing because the losing fighter sneaks in one punch that floors him and ends the fight. The sucker punch.

For weeks now there has been lots of excitement in the CORD fold, like there is something big about to happen. And the guys seem to have taken an oath of secrecy or something because my best efforts were met with people who were not going to tell me anything. But about 2 weeks ago CORD principal Kalonzo Musyoka let it slip that elections would be very soon long before 2017. I went and did my research and still could not see how this could be made to happen. At least not legally. Then over the weekend I learnt that there may be a plan to impeach the president over the rampant insecurity in the country.

Still it did not make sense to me because the rubber stamp JUBILEE coalition has the numbers in the senate and overwhelmingly so. I forgot about the ridiculous theory until I hit the shower. In the middle of soaping myself it hit me. There has been widespread rebellion within the ruling coalition. The truth is that currently only a small tiny push will throw things out of control.

Even more interesting is what Katiba says. If such a motion were to be successful then the Deputy President would take over for the remainder of the term. Now that sounds like just the right kind of incentive to rally the entire Rift Valley behind such a motion. To survive the said Deputy president would also need to do business with CORD and so our politics would change overnight and both houses would look very different even with the same legislators. In such a scanrio a fresh election before 2017 becomes a real possibility.

Now insecurity is one subject that is mighty close to Kenyans just now. Police say that an average of 3 matatus are carjacked daily. Some observers say that the number is closer to 10. In some of these incidences women passengers are raped...and even male ones in one or two bizarre cases. Not to mention the fact that many parts of the country that were previously crime free now have unprecedented crime waves sweeping through them. No Kenyan in their right mind would fail to admit the fact that the government has failed in its' fundamental responsibility of guaranteeing security for its' people.

And the crimes are not only increasing but also getting more heinous by the day. Small children being kidnapped for ransoms and then being murdered in cold blood is the kind of thing that would cause any responsible leadership to stop what they are doing and address the problem as a priority. But nah, our government has been too busy with the ICC cases at the Hague. And the little spare time senior police officers have away from their efforts to make huge sums of money using their good offices is all going into rather belated efforts to fight the infiltration by terrorists into the very fabric of Kenyan life. When you allow people to walk into the country and radicalize youths over a long period of time, to them it becomes a normal lecture at the mosque as usual and their right to be radicalized which should NOT be disturbed by police. That is why there was so much blood letting at the Mombasa mosque over the weekend when police finally made a decision to make a move against this practice that has been ongoing for a long time.

In fact if you want to know how serious things are consider the fact that some people are now saying that Uganda is more stable and much safer than Kenya and are being taken seriously.

But back to the sucker punch from CORD. Is it really plausible? Can Raila Odinga's coalition pull it off? My straight answer is that it is plausible but unlikely to succeed. The people who marshaled the whole of Africa against the ICC are likely to make mince meat of CORD and are not the kind of fighters who would fall for a sucker punch from the opposition just now.

Fortunately also for them, they have been spending fortunes trying to destabilize CORD ahead of the ODM elections next week. In fact they have done such a good job of it that the ODM which will emerge from those elections will indeed have a national outlook but will be much weaker than the ODM that led the CORD coalition into last year's general elections. I keep reminding you guys that this is politics and not primary school elections for class prefect.

Of Drones And Big News Possibility That al Shabaab Supremo Died On Sunday

There has been way too much happening in recent days, so much so that I have to confess that it is almost overwhelming and chances of me missing something really important increase by the day. And I really dread that happening because it always gives me that deflated bitter disappointment feeling of letting down my readers and you can be sure I am doing everything within my power to reorganize accordingly.

I will tell you what makes my day. Reading a headline and saying to myself, my readers saw that coming weeks or even months ago. Am happy to report that that has been happening a lot in recent days… A LOT.

 
An armed drone in flight and headed to a target.

Even more interesting are currently unfolding events that back up the contents of the most sensitive book I have ever penned, Chilling Westgate Secrets Revealed that unravels the complexity of the truth behind that most terrifying terrorist attack in Kenyan history. The following events will make plenty of sense to those who have read the book which unfortunately is no longer available; you just have to find somebody who purchased it when it was available.

•    The Americans have really stepped up efforts to get to the overall leader of al Shabaab Ahmed Abdi Godane. A devastating drone attack late Sunday hit a target deep in the southwestern port in Somalia, called Barawe and it is still not clear whether or not the al Shabaab supremo who was the main target was killed or got away yet again. The US military have told the media that they are still assessing the results of that particular attack.

•    Top commanders of al Shabaab including Godane met only last week for an emergency meeting after Ethiopia formally joined AMISOM in Somalia. That is the international force that includes KDF soldiers. Interestingly it is widely believed that many drone attacks against the al Shabaab are being launched using bases in Ethiopia.

What are drones, some people have been asking? These are unmanned aerial vehicles (UAVs). A drone is in fact an aircraft without a human pilot on board. It is important to remember that although they are unmanned, they are not un-piloted - trained crew at base steer the craft, analyze the images which the cameras send back and act on what they see.

In most cases, just like an aircraft it drops its’ load and returns to base.

Less known by most is a drones’ use in surveillance operations where it provides troops with a 24-hour "eye in the sky", seven days a week. A drone can stay aloft for up to 17 hours at a time, loitering over an area and sending back real-time imagery of activities on the ground.

A curious report appeared in the Reuters website last year where it was reported that Kenya had admitted that it was using its’ own drones to launch attacks against militants in Somalia. Believable except for one tiny detail. A single drone costs in the region of $12.5 million. That would make a major dent on the entire defence budget in the banana republic with just a small fleet wiping out the whole defence kitty. If Kenya indeed has them then all I can say is that this was quite a donation. These Americans really don’t spare any expense in ensuring the safety of their nationals and most Kenyans would be wishing that the GOK borrow a leaf here and address the unacceptable living in fear that is the norm for most Kenyans these days.

Multi Millionaire Caught Working As Street Cleaner 6 days a week

What kind of lifestyle would you have if you were a multi-millionaire? I bet there wouldn't be too much real work in your schedule.

Now here is a multi millionaire with solid assets that will definitely NOT disappear tomorrow and yet she chooses to hassle and wake up every morning going to work. And get this. NOT to the office or some nice job she can easily get using a multi-millionaire club contacts. She goes to work as a filthy street cleaner.

Wonders never cease but there is an extremely important lesson to be learned here in case you hit the jackpot tomorrow. 

See Millionaire works as street cleaner.

Kumekucha's News Analysis

Mystery of Wetangula, Ruto meetings

I am President of the county and everybody should shut up

Thugs protecting top cops tell Kavuludi: Stop or we will kill you

The truth about Raila's military-rigged remarks

Why IG Kimaiyo must go

Analyzing the Uhuru Presidency

The Day My Dad Died And How Police Corruption Was Launched At State House


Westgate: Why is the FBI contradicting numerous intelligence agencies about fate of 4 attackers?

The most expensive slap in history

Chilling link between Wetangula, Mutula and the ICC cases

Shocker: Police were shot from behind as they closed in on terrorists

Are you a nice guy women are never passionate about?


New anti-rape device promises to "bite" rapists out of business

Another Obama in the making: Kenyan becomes first Black MP in European country

Chilling 2014 predictions

"You are a traitor," Keter tells Ruto

Raila and Nyanza MPs very worried about Kidero cash

How Coke can be deadly



President and his deputy want to go on trips with more women 

So eager to die, she couldn't wait for Christmas

Mysterious Wetangula, Ruto Meeting

Kenyan politics has gotten so confusing. The screaming headline was shocking and yet not clear in what exactly was being said. Wetangula in talks with Ruto? The article confused the matter even further and talked about the 2017 elections. The two were discussing 2017 general elections. Really??

Even stranger was the fact that there were no statements from CORD condemning the "talks." For those who are not naive enough to take things at face value there was definitely something that was not quite right here.

Let's take a look at what we do know to help us figure out what we don't.

* We know that the CORD principals (Wetangula included) told Kenyans very recently that they are sticking together in readiness for the next general elections. An interesting aside here is that Kalonzo Musyoka said at the same meeting that the next general elections will be earlier than 2017. They could be held at any time, he told the crowd. The mainstream media resported that without analyzing it. What exactly was Bwana Wiper saying? What does he know that we all don't know? Anyway that is a story for another day when I have dug around deeper.

* We know that the Luhya community are rabidly anti-JUBILEE, more so Wetangula's Bukusu sub-tribe of the Luhya. It would be political suicide for any politician to cross the floor and join JUBILEE at the moment. Even if that politician was Nelson Mandela.

* It is way too early to start having such serious discussions on political marriages for 2017. In politics a week can be a very long time and so to believe that DP Ruto and Wetangula were meeting to strategize for 2017 is to believe that a girl and boy in Standard 8 can meet to discuss their wedding after they finish school. Even the word "premature" doesn't quite describe it.

So the million shilling question is what were Ruto and Wetangula really discussing? Why are both CORD and JUBILEE cool about it? At least nobody is making any noise about it, yet.
Kumekucha's Latest News Analysis

I am President of the county and everybody should shut up

Thugs protecting top cops tell Kavuludi: Stop or we will kill you

The truth about Raila's military-rigged remarks

Why IG Kimaiyo must go

Analyzing the Uhuru Presidency

The Day My Dad Died And How Police Corruption Was Launched At State House


Westgate: Why is the FBI contradicting numerous intelligence agencies about fate of 4 attackers?

The most expensive slap in history

Chilling link between Wetangula, Mutula and the ICC cases

Shocker: Police were shot from behind as they closed in on terrorists

Are you a nice guy women are never passionate about?


New anti-rape device promises to "bite" rapists out of business

Another Obama in the making: Kenyan becomes first Black MP in European country

Chilling 2014 predictions

"You are a traitor," Keter tells Ruto

Raila and Nyanza MPs very worried about Kidero cash

How Coke can be deadly



President and his deputy want to go on trips with more women 

So eager to die, she couldn't wait for Christmas

I Am The President of the County and Everybody Should Shut Up

Governors in most parts of the country are in serious trouble.

They need to find money fast to fund key projects without which their political careers could be over even before the next General elections. Nothing wrong with that except that taking into consideration the current hardships Kenyans are facing and increased and more aggressive tax collection from the Central government, trying to collect any more money through taxes in the counties is now akin to attempting to squeeze blood out of a stone. Not to mention the fact that most county budgets are inflated to accommodate the ongoing fleecing of public funds through lavish lifestyles and unnecessary extras forced on the long suffering wananchi by the country reps and governors.

The response of the people to the new levies has been swift and predictable. There have been massive demonstrations and protests countrywide. In Kakamega county proposed taxes on livestock has elicited angry responses from the people with so much focus being on the beloved Luhya chicken that nobody is talking about other controversial parts of the same county finance bill that seeks to tax the dead by introducing hefty levies for burials.

In Meru unprecedented violence has swept the county over proposed taxes mostly on small traders.

As you read this, Mombasa has a serious “mboga” crisis because the main vegetable wholesale market at Kongowea has been shut down over protests that have to do with the implementation of new levies. And I can go on and on.

It is rather obvious that governors and their county assemblies need to find new creative ways of raising funds without taking the easy way out of imposing hefty taxes indiscriminately. There are many innovative ways of raising funds by cashing in on the unique attractive features of a county. Admittedly they are riskier and require lots of hard work which most governors do not seem prepared to put in. They would rather have more free time to move around in their official cars feeling important and being called “your Excellency”.

Actually most of these governors would not be facing the problems they are now facing had they hit the ground running and used most of their time to open up and improve income generating efforts for their people. Instead most of them hit the ground spending heavily. Now they are all in panic mode which makes creativity difficult if not impossible.

There are counties that can earn serious revenue by finding ways to impose levies on visitors entering the county which would have the huge political advantage of minimal effect on the locals. The ideas are really endless if one looks for them hard enough. The other way to raise taxes is to help people increase their revenues significantly and then tax only the higher brackets of income.

This is a time to think out of the box but what we have ended up with in the counties are the usual suspects as governors doing the usual things that central government has been doing to raise taxes to enable more corruption and looting by a select few. The same disease has just been transferred to the brand new county governments. County reps have ended up being miniature versions of Mpigs and just as hungry to fleece the public coffers at the least excuse. Sometime last year I was in Machakos and we bumped into some county reps who were overly excited about an upcoming trip to South Africa to “mull over the county budget.” One of them told us that they were not able “to see” the budget proposals properly in Kenya and needed to get out there somewhere to think straight. Such unnecessary trips are of course financed from taxes raised in the county.

Who or what will heal our politics? The mantra of make-maximum-cash-from-politics-who-cares-where-the-money-is-coming-from is thriving in our counties. But this time it is on a head-on-collision with the people where they can feel the impact almost immediately. Yet even the most uneducated common man can see that the burden of having too many representatives who need salaries and perks is more than crippling. There is even talk now of reducing the number of counties to 14 to cut down on costs.

Interestingly this is a proposal that could easily sail through even a dreaded referendum judging the mood of the Kenyan public just now.

But our county leaders don’t see what could be coming and would care less when they are enjoying the gravy train so much. After all it is eat and fleece to the maximum today, tomorrow will take care of itself.

P.S. The Mombasa County government's bright idea for generating revenue was to raise the levy for each lorry entering Kongowea market with produce to sell from upcountry from Kshs 2,500 to a whooping Kshs 7,500!! Some observers say that reducing the levy instead by say Kshs 1,000 would have attracted more lorries and more revenue at the end of the day. Apparently common sense is truly uncommon amongst those raising taxes in the counties.

Kumekucha's Latest News Analysis

Thugs protecting top cops tell Kavuludi: Stop or we will kill you

The truth about Raila's military-rigged remarks

Why IG Kimaiyo must go

Analyzing the Uhuru Presidency

The Day My Dad Died And How Police Corruption Was Launched At State House


Westgate: Why is the FBI contradicting numerous intelligence agencies about fate of 4 attackers?

The most expensive slap in history

Chilling link between Wetangula, Mutula and the ICC cases

Shocker: Police were shot from behind as they closed in on terrorists

Are you a nice guy women are never passionate about?


New anti-rape device promises to "bite" rapists out of business

Another Obama in the making: Kenyan becomes first Black MP in European country

Chilling 2014 predictions

"You are a traitor," Keter tells Ruto

Raila and Nyanza MPs very worried about Kidero cash

How Coke can be deadly



President and his deputy want to go on trips with more women 

So eager to die, she couldn't wait for Christmas


Read the crazy crazy list of articles that even Kumekucha was terrified to publish. Mind boggling information on Kenyan politicians and politics. Get it in your email inbox in seconds.

Top corrupt Kenya police cops told Kavuludi: Stop investigating us or we will kill you (they even delivered a "graphic message")

When you are dealing with the police you are really dealing with thugs who are much more dangerous then the other conventional thugs. This seems to have been confirmed by death threats that National Police Service Commission Chairman Johnstone Kavuludi (pictured) and other members of the police vetting panel have recently received. Hilariously police are investigating...LOL!!!

Shockingly this is not the first time for Kavuludi and his colleagues to receive death threats. Actually they received a rather graphic one last year (on August 30th) when a carton containing a human head and two hands was dumped outside their headquarters which was then located along University Way. On the carton, was scrawled a warning to one of them saying, “you’re next.” Nope this is not a scene from some horror movie, it is happening right here in the banana republic called Kenya. The latest death threat is a letter sent directly to Kavuludi.

All this comes at a time when the office of the president has directed Kavuludi NOT to announce any verdicts of the vetting panel until the names have been cleared by the Office of the President first (wink, wink). Now, now why would they want to do that? To doctor the list of corrupt sacked officers perhaps?

 

Kumekucha's Latest News Analysis

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Why IG Kimaiyo must go

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The Day My Dad Died And How Police Corruption Was Launched At State House

Crime Wave or co-ordinated chaos?

Westgate: Why is the FBI contradicting numerous intelligence agencies about fate of 4 attackers?

The most expensive slap in history

Chilling link between Wetangula, Mutula and the ICC cases

Shocker: Police were shot from behind as they closed in on terrorists

Wetangula shooting: It was NOT an assassination attempt, so what was it?

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JUBILEE government behaving like PEV '08 never happened

Yet another deadly attack as terror escalates in Kenya

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Hazina Lunatic project is the reason Kidero is being roasted

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Wamalwa tells Ruto to go for 2017 presidency

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"You are a traitor," Keter tells Ruto

Raila and Nyanza MPs very worried about Kidero cash

How Coke can be deadly

Kenya still a paradise for human traffickers 

Sudan: Crafty Macher fools many about how trouble started

Did Blogger die because of Shebesh/Sonko nude photos?

Githu to Bensouda: There is no way I can give you Uhuru's net worth... EVER 

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President and his deputy want to go on trips with more women 

So eager to die, she couldn't wait for Christmas

The Truth About Raila Odinga's Military-Rigging Remarks in Dholuo

Arriving at the meeting at Jomo Kenyatta Sports grounds, Kisumu where Raila remarks in Dholuo kicked off a serious ongoing political storm.

What exactly did Raila Odinga say last weekend in Kisumu?

The remarks were all in Dholuo to a very supportive and charged crowd and we know that translators can get sloppy sometimes or even just downright cheeky.

The security council which should be the best informed (otherwise we are all in trouble) went with the translation that Raila said that the military directly assisted in the alleged rigging of the polls. (For those who do not know, the National Security Council, NSC, is the supreme organ mandated by the New Constitution to be responsible for the security of Kenya and her people. The Council consists of— (a) the President (chair); (b) the Deputy President; (c) the Cabinet Secretary responsible for defence; (d) the Cabinet Secretary responsible for foreign affairs; (e) the Cabinet Secretary responsible for internal security; (f) the Attorney-General; (g) the Chief of Kenya Defence Forces; (h) the Director-General of the National Intelligence Service; and (i) the Inspector-General of the National Police Service.)

The first salvo at Raila for his remarks came from secretary to the cabinet Francis Kimemia shortly after a meeting of the security council and that is very significant.

Others present at the Raila meeting have a very different translation. What they heard Raila say in their mother tongue was that the rigging of the elections was akin to a military coup.
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Results from the last Kumekucha online Poll;
Do you find the JUBILEE government insensitive to the plight of
the common man?  76% - YES  23% - NO
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What I find most interesting here is the fact that the security council had just come out of a meeting where intricate plans had been put in place to thwart an expected major al Shabaab strike in either Nairobi or Mombasa which is expected at any time. You can be sure that these busy guys would not waste time and resources on a rumour and were acting on very credible intelligence. And yet they felt that Raila's remarks (nothing new except the mention of the military) carried enough weight for them to divert some effort to taking action on it. And yet if they had just shut up, most Kenyans would not even have known what Raila said. My friends that is extremely significant and I shall discuss it in a little while.

If you are reading this and think that what I am going to discuss next is how the election was rigged and millions of votes stuffed then YOU ARE WRONG. That is NOT what happened for anybody who wants the truth. I would prefer to use the word "fiddled". The elections were indeed fiddled with as I explain in great detail in my book Mystery Monday: Unlocking the 2013 Kenyan presidential polls secrets.

But for now let's stick to the topic at hand which is what Raila said and why it has caused such a political storm when we should be more focused on what the al Shabaab are planning against us.

My impeccable sources on the ground confirm that the second version (that the alleged rigging was like a military coup) is the correct version of what the former PM said.

So why did somebody deliberately twist the PM's remarks?

Interestingly the CORD fraternity has decided not to correct the twisted version and senator Otieno Kajwang even told a press conference yesterday that he saw the Military chief at the tallying centre in Bomas of Kenya during the elections. This is politics and trying to correct things here would make Raila and CORD appear weak and already back-tracking.

Just remember in future that when dealing with spooks and what they do, nothing is what it seems to be. The security council can be accused of many things and one cannot escape the fact that our top security and intelligence people (who give info and advice to the security council) are all old men struggling to keep up with the times when most of their age-mates are either in retirement or semi-retirement. Still they are extremely intelligent and will not do anything without reason.

I am convinced that the reason why it was decided to focus on Raila's remarks with a small twisting of the facts was to divert attention. The country is now at it's highest terrorist alert and the last thing you want is widespread panic amongst the public. The simple solution is to clog the news with the Raila furore as you release the terror alert. Works like a charm because even the major media outlets gave very little coverage to the statement from Bwana Francis Kimemia about security being beefed up countrywide. In this way the message got to all the people it must get to without attracting attention from the people who don't need to realize exactly what is happening. NEAT. VERY NEAT.

P.S. Kenyan women have indeed come a long way. The security council has two women seating on it, cabinet secretary Defence Rachelle Omama and her foreign affairs counterpart Amina Mohamed. Never before in the history of Kenya have we had even one woman at the highest level of security decision-making. Good for Kenya if you ask me.

Kumekucha's Latest News Analysis

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The Day My Dad Died And How Police Corruption Was Launched At State House

Crime Wave or co-ordinated chaos?

Westgate: Why is the FBI contradicting numerous intelligence agencies about fate of 4 attackers?

The most expensive slap in history

Chilling link between Wetangula, Mutula and the ICC cases

Shocker: Police were shot from behind as they closed in on terrorists

Wetangula shooting: It was NOT an assassination attempt, so what was it?

A clear understanding of the confusing South Sudan conflict: Who is in the wrong?

JUBILEE government behaving like PEV '08 never happened

Yet another deadly attack as terror escalates in Kenya

Are you a nice guy women are never passionate about?

Hazina Lunatic project is the reason Kidero is being roasted

New anti-rape device promises to "bite" rapists out of business

Another Obama in the making: Kenyan becomes first Black MP in European country

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Setback to ODM as party loses one precious seat

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Chilling 2014 predictions

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Raila and Nyanza MPs very worried about Kidero cash

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Sudan: Crafty Macher fools many about how trouble started

Did Blogger die because of Shebesh/Sonko nude photos?

Githu to Bensouda: There is no way I can give you Uhuru's net worth... EVER 

Can President Uhuru tell the difference between "tribal" and "political"

President and his deputy want to go on trips with more women 

So eager to die, she couldn't wait for Christmas


Read the crazy crazy list of articles that even Kumekucha was terrified to publish. Mind boggling information on Kenyan politicians and politics. Get it in your email inbox in seconds.

Why IG Kimaiyo MUST Go

Listening to the Inspector General of police being interviewed last night on Citizen TV, one thing became very clear to Kenyans. Especially those of us who understand the Kenya police and the rot therein. We are in serious trouble. What our IG is clearly very good at is avoiding answering very important questions that affect our security. What is the point of being interviewed in the first place if you have nothing to say except defend yourself and the work (if you can call it that) you are doing?

When asked sensitive questions or pushed to a corner the IG starts by thanking the person asking the questions for the question ostensibly to give him a little more time to think what he is going to say. A better policy would have been to answer the questions directly. Admit where the police have failed and tell us precisely what he is doing to correct the situation.

Understandably there are certain security issues he cannot make public. But surely this cannot apply to every single question he was asked last night.

The most honorable thing for Bwana David Kimaiyo to do now is to resign immediately and allow another Kenyan who is competent to take over his job. Somebody else who will inspire more confidence in Kenyans in a country where being a victim of violent criminals has become the norm.

Even before we elaborate on his incompetence we need to ask a simple question. How does a man who heads our police force continue to remain in office as criminal gangs take over the country? How can he even face the press in interviews as fear spreads amongst innocent hard working Kenyans? It is totally immoral for the man to be so comfortable when the vast majority of Kenyans are so uncomfortable.

To start with the Inspector General of police is first and foremost a manager. A good manager sits down on a new job with a clear set of priorities. It is impossible to do everything. Indeed this applies to any management and leadership position, even the head of state of a country.

The question you ask yourself is what is the most urgent thing that needs to be done? You make your very short list in order of importance and then you focus and start working on tem number one. What are Kimaiyo’s priorities? Well he seems to have worked very hard to improve the police communication system as he proudly told Kenyans last night. Clearly that has to be one of his top priorities. Now what is the point of being able to quickly and easily get in touch with a police force best known for inaction? Why would any alert Kenyan want to easily call the very same policemen who have been known to frequently collude with the very criminals they may be reporting to those policemen? Doesn’t make sense to me.

At least the controversial and often criticized former Police commissioner major General Hussein Ali had a clear priority when he took over office and that was to deal with violent crime and violent gangs. Interestingly he did achieve great results and neutralized the dreaded Mungiki within a very short space of time, only that his methods were unlawful to say the least. So focused was the man that even as he left Vigilance house he was lobbying for new laws that would make being found in possession of a firearm the kind of thing no sane criminal would want to face punishment for. And remember that Ali was operating under the old constitution which he left him pretty vulnerable to the whims of the political class. Kimaiyo operating under the new constitution does not have any such worries.

Admittedly there is one thing that the IG is passionate about and that is fighting for more power and if he has his way there will be no reason for the National Police Service commission and its’ critical oversight role.

What Kenyans have heard most from the IG are endless excuses and the downplaying of serous crimes. Recently he told us with a straight face that the explosion at JKIA that destroyed sections of the roof at the JAVA was caused by a “loose light bulb that fell.” Last night when asked if he regretted that statement more excuses poured out of his mouth.

Those who like to defend our incompetent corrupt police force are always quick to tell Kenyans that the police are not equipped to fight crime effectively. This is laughable when you consider the fact that the police are not using what they already have. We have a national ID system with everybody’s fingerprints on it including many criminals (not all, but most). We also have all cell phone companies registering mobile phone users. What this means is that you can get fingerprints identify somebody and then be able to trace the precise location of the suspect you are looking for. Many countries in Africa do not have that kind of “assistance” in tracking down criminals.

It is true that the police have used this a few times but clearly they are busy with other more important stuff other than fighting serious violent crime in the country and the responsibility for this ridiculous policy can only fall squarely on the IG’s desk.

When you find the time to read newspapers you will quickly realize that the police are in fact very busy. Busy arresting people having sex on the beach and at Uhuru Park. Busy arresting those selling pornographic DVDs, busy guarding politicians, busy fighting NPSC for more power so that senior cops are less accountable. When will they ever find time from their busy schedule to address their core function?

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