Then this guy walks into your nice cozy conversation. He acts very cocky and rude. Even makes a joke about some desperate women chasing after him. You are not interested until you start noticing the reaction of the hot chic you are with. It starts with a smile. Then soon she is laughing at every joke he is making.
What the h*** is going on here, you wonder.
But you don’t have time to really figure it out because before you know it the jerk of a man is leaving with your woman. Aii it is so early and the night is still so young where could they possibly be going?
“I’ll call you kesho,” is all the hot chic says to you and gives you a small peck on the cheek. What hurts you even more is the excitement you see in her eyes. She has never been that excited around you. This jerk guy must be using witchcraft. How do you have that kind of effect on a woman so quickly?
You call the next day (Sunday) at noon and she is not picking up her phone. She never does that and you are worried and you start calling all her friends thinking the worst. Did the stranger murder her?
Later you get all the gory details. The hot chic took the jerk to her house for you know what. That was early Saturday night and they only left the house to go to work on Monday morning. The info cuts through your heart like a hot knife cutting through butter. How could she…?? That girl was yours, or so you thought. How could she fall for a player and a man who is NOT nice to women like you??
This is a typical scenario that has happened to many Kenyan men out there and indeed to men all over the world who don’t have a clue about women but think they do.
If you are looking to attract women you need to change your mindset with the following facts.
1) Women NEVER get attracted to men who are too nice to them. I am not saying you slap her around. But since the stone-age days women get attracted like a magnet to real men not sissies. Why do you think rugby players have it so easy? Relax you don't need to start playing rugby or lifting weights, there are many routes to get to the CBD in Nairobi and they all lead to the same place.
2) Women will talk a lot about how hot a guy looks but when the chips are down they will tend to get attracted to personality rather than looks. Hehehehehe great news if you don't have the looks... ama?
3) Women are driven more by emotion rather than intellect and it doesn’t matter how many PhDs she has from Harvard. When a man is shocked by a woman’s behaviour and quips how he does not understand them the most likely thing that just happened is that she reacted emotionally to something.
4) Women rarely mean what they say. Statements like “I am not interested he is such a player,” need to be received with a pinch of salt and lots of caution (and in fact warning bells should be going off all over the place) by a nice man hanging desperately to a woman.
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There are moments in life when opening doors that lead to a paradise of passionate companionship can be very overwhelming as opposed to having the same shut when least expected.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, for ordinary men who are not perennial chasers and charmers of women but seekers of good women they need to beware of the fact that what is known about fleeting relationships, thanks to jerks and bad-boys, is not worth knowing, and what's worth knowing about good women - keepers - cannot be known through ways that are influenced or solely based on the audacious and preposterous sneaky maneuvers that are usually employed by chasers of women - fully certified members of the players club.
The so-called nice guys and gentlemen in our midst should always be encouraged not to take themselves seriously whenever certain types of women friends or close female associates fail to invite them into their vortex of passionate embrace, or reject them for whatever reasons.
To our sensible selves and the so-called members of Nice Guys Club out there, the actions of the smooth-talking charmers who have mastered the art of finding, meeting, attracting and instantly seducing beautiful women into temporary Venetian chambers seem silly, shameless, even shocking.
But they have an important role to play in the precarious world of dating and trying to find long term passionate companionships.
FYI, the bad boys or jerks have a critical service to perform in terms of saving a lot of ordinary men and gentlemen from potential headaches, heartaches, broken hearts, drama, and wasted opportunities with regard to ending up with the wrong types of companions in life.
As for rejection or being ignored or overlooked by good and not-so-good women, it helps ordinary guys and gentlemen live with absurdities, paradoxes, and mysteries of the dating life.
And by the way, there is no such guy as the perfect gentleman, but some of them do end up as potential jerks, players, chasers and charmers given the inappropriate conditions.
Hot chic you have you fancied for a very long time.
ReplyDeleteHow long is a very long time when it comes to making a right move or for a gentleman to make his real feelings known to a woman he fancies?
And when does the desirable sequence a gentleman employs - to win over the cute lady - becomes strikingly effective or in worst case scenarios, ineffective?
Chris,
ReplyDeleteWhy blame a woman who decides to join the good company of what seems to her to be a new, interesting and available acquaintance who is not afraid nor hesitant to make his feelings known?
After all, the perfect gentleman in question, talking of the one who has come to believe that he understands women totally, had all the time in the world to sweep the hot chic off her feet but didn't.
The great-looking chick may have given him countless of golden opportunities to take a first bite at the gorgeous and delicious apple - that is not only familiar but has the full capacity for intimacy - that nature has been dangling right in front of his gentle eyes.
For the record, any gentleman who snoozes around or in the company of stylish and elegant women always ends up loosing out - them - to other gentlemen who may not be so perfect in the art of patience, hope, and love.
Real gentlemen know when and how to strike the iron while it is still hot, or before it cools down in time to be scooped up by the cocky and rude guys.
On what grounds can you defy a hot chic, or even keep dragging your feet with the expectations that the she will always be waiting around for you? On the ground of withholding your privileged love for days, weeks, or months, only to trickle it down in her direction after having neglected, ignored or sidelined her since day one?
ReplyDeleteWhy call the next day (Sunday) at noon when tweeting or texting in praise of her last night great catch is all she wants to read about on a busy Sunday morning or by noontime? What are good buddies with steady shoulders to lean on for?
ReplyDelete@gentlemen-out-there.
ReplyDeleteWhen it happens, in other words when you are left hanging high and dry, just say goodbye one last time and go your separate ways if the hot chic overlooks you and ends up desiring the other guy instead of your lesser-passionate-self.
There are guys - perfect gentlemen and others not so perfect - who are destined for success, while others are doomed to failure when it comes to all things with regard to courting and wooing beautiful young woman or glamorous women of a certain age.
ReplyDeleteThe old mantra still holds true; if you first can't succeed in wooing a hot chick, then keep trying, trying and trying until you succeed.
Otherwise, the only option is dare to dream about wooing a good woman into your comfort zone without violating or disregarding the rules of dating etiquette.
Best of luck.
@Chris of Kumekucha.
ReplyDeleteBelated Happy New 2014 from hapa hapa nilipo where it's a little bit different in certain - economic, cultural, religious and social - ways from what still goes on, for the common good, in my father's former village of Ukingoni in Mbalamwezi County.
Chris, if you had one wish that would last you through 2014, what would it be?
Halafu, if you had one chance to take back one ungentleman-act you have done in the past 2013, what would it be?
Have good fun and just do it in a very healthy, safe and productive manner for the next 358 days.
Thank you so much for everything @Kumekucha.
By the way, here is a theme song - "The Man" by Aloe Blacc - to Chris and all ladies and perfect gentlemen our there, 'LIFT [Y]OUR SPIRIT[S]' throughout 2014 in spite of the ongoing sociopolitical quagmires and conundrums.
Happy, Healthy, Safe and Productive 2014.
It makes you wonder why nice guys always finish last, end up empty handed or walk/drive home alone every other weekend from social venues in Nairobi, Mombasa, Malindi, Nakuru, Kisumu, Eldoret, Nanyuki, Machakos, etc.
ReplyDeleteThe question is also what kind of women like these kind of men who are not nice. The example you gave goes down to show that the man who's girl got taken is dealing with a good for nothing person who does not respect herself. If you are gonna be taken by a guy just like that and you go sleep with him having left someone who took his time to take you out on a date then nice guys should also realize that majority of women are not nice and should choose carefully. The ratio is 6 to 1 for a reason.
ReplyDeleteThis discussion and comments posted are about sleeping around not getting someone descent to love and share your life with e.g leaving the party without someone etc....I'm jus sayin
ReplyDelete