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Monday, January 13, 2014

The Most Expensive Slap in The History of Kenya

Moments before the most expensive slap in history

Negotiations for a settlement between two Nairobi leaders, Governor Evans Kidero and Women's rep Rachel Shebesh is proving elusive. How much is fair compensation for being slapped on national TV and then made fun of on social media? It has to be a lot of money but the figures being thrown around as settlement that Shebesh has so far rejected from Kidero is mind boggling. Sources have told this blogger that a generous double digit million was offered agreed on and then later turned down. Controversial blogger Robert Alai claims in a recent update on social media that 100 million has been offered and rejected. When I first read this figure I immediately dismissed it and then to my utter shock was informed by an impeccable source that it may be true because Shebesh initially demanded Kshs 150 million. But even more interesting is the fact that other people have also offered Shebesh money to go to court (names with-held but get more info for FREE HERE)

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Actually even if the good governor does not pay a single cent in compensation (highly unlikely) the cash he has already spent so far from minutes after his hand landed on the soft cheeks of the attractive women's rep is pretty high. Getting lawyers to run around filing those injunctions is not cheap, and this has not been the only expense. I would imagine that he deeply regrets his actions which when this saga is finally concluded will be extremely high. How high is anybody's guess because assuming that the case goes to trial and Kidero is convicted he will lose his seat as governor. How much money is that worth? It is also highly likely that Shebesh will then follow up by suing him for a hefty amount in court. When you do the sums and include what the governor spent on his election campaign that figure is definitely over 500 million. That makes this particular slap undoubtedly the most expensive one in the history of the banana republic.

Sober minded neutral Kenyans will not fail to sympathize with the governor. More so because the man has many enemies including extremely powerful shadowy figures (names with-held but get this info for FREE HERE) who have been putting immense pressure on him to approve a highrise building expansion that this blogger has labelled a lunatic's project which will endanger the lives of Kenyans. And then there is the fact that where the man comes from slapping women is no big deal in fact there are certain customs that involve the thorough beating of widows on the night they are inherited by their late husband's relative.

Kumekucha's Latest News Analysis

Chilling link between Wetangula, Mutula and the ICC cases

Shocker: Police were shot from behind as they closed in on terrorists

Wetangula shooting: It was NOT an assassination attempt, so what was it?

A clear understanding of the confusing South Sudan conflict: Who is in the wrong?

JUBILEE government behaving like PEV '08 never happened

Yet another deadly attack as terror escalates in Kenya

Are you a nice guy women are never passionate about?

Hazina Lunatic project is the reason Kidero is being roasted

New anti-rape device promises to "bite" rapists out of business

Another Obama in the making: Kenyan becomes first Black MP in European country

Kidero, Shebesh to be charged 4 months later... why??

Setback to ODM as party loses one precious seat

Wamalwa tells Ruto to go for 2017 presidency

Chilling 2014 predictions

"You are a traitor," Keter tells Ruto

Raila and Nyanza MPs very worried about Kidero cash

How Coke can be deadly

Kenya still a paradise for human traffickers

Sudan: Crafty Macher fools many about how trouble started

Did Blogger die because of Shebesh/Sonko nude photos?

Githu to Bensouda: There is no way I can give you Uhuru's net worth... EVER

Can President Uhuru tell the difference between "tribal" and "political"

President and his deputy want to go on trips with more women

So eager to die, she couldn't wait for Christmas

Read the crazy crazy list of articles that even Kumekucha was terrified to publish. Mind boggling information on Kenyan politicians and politics. Get it in your email inbox in seconds.

Chilling Link Between Wetangula, Mutula And The ICC cases

I long for the old poorly educated journalists to come back. Many of them have joined their ancestors now and others are in quiet retirement. When I joined journalism almost 30 years ago I found them and I feel so privileged to have interacted with those hard-drinking ordinary folks who did extra-ordinary things. Their copy was full of grammatical errors (stories were actually re-written by sub-editors in those days) but they had something our journalists don't have these days. The ability to smell a story from a government press release that does not quite make sense.

Today our well educated journalists are just press release copy and paste scribes. They write well and there is less work for subs but in the end the public suffers reading polished English and no substance. That is why one of them linked the Wetangula shooting incident to the Harun Mwau one where bullets were fired from inside the car (remember that one?). Talk about two incidences that are as different as night and day.

And that is why when the intelligent public is looking for answers in the Wetangula shooting incident the mainstream press is just confusing everybody even more.

Did somebody fire shots at Senator Wetangula’s car last Thursday or did the senator and CORD leader Raila Odinga just create a story? And if they created a story what would the motive possibly be?

Those are the questions that most Kenyans are asking. But here are some other questions they should also be asking; why are the police in such a terrible rush to prove that there were no shots fired at the senator’s car? Why are the police behaving out of character here? We all know that their investigations take a long time and usually in the interim they keep their mouths tightly shut about any possible theories. Why is it different this time round? Why are the police so desperate that they have now put pressure on the senator’s driver to change his statement and say that he hit a billboard?

Let us assume for a minute that the CORD gang are liars and that Wetangula faked his own attempted assassination. That would mean that he is in the wrong career. He needs to get to Nigeria pronto and start acting in movies because the performance he gave of being shocked at the police station was Oscar winning quality that would make him a front runner candidate to win best actor. So shaken was Wetangula that Raila’s security detail had to escort him to his Karen home that night. Well we know Kenyan politicians are serial liars BUT they are certainly not good actors. I read their body language all the time and report back to you things that turn out to be true. And so do so many other Kenyans out there.

As I write this chills are going down my spine because this whole charade has some similarities to what happened to Mutula Kilonzo shortly before he died last year. Just look at this chain of events and you will understand what I am talking about. Full details published in the latest Kumekucha Real Time Intelligence Report

Any case of a human life being threatened should not be taken as lightly as this Wetangula case has been taken by the government and the police. Not to mention the fact that the man we are talking about is an elected leader of the people who has right to full protection by the police. Launching a propaganda campaign in the press on such a serious matter to prove points of view that are yet to ascertained by any solid evidence is nauseous to say the least. Anybody who sits down to really think about it will see clearly that the guilty party are trying to defend themselves vigorously and early in lieu of the investigations being completed. So who is going to trust that their findings will NOT be fiddled with like so many things are fiddled with in the banana republic (not only elections).

Kumekucha's Latest News Analysis

Shocker: Police were shot from behind as they closed in on terrorists

Wetangula shooting: It was NOT an assassination attempt, so what was it?

A clear understanding of the confusing South Sudan conflict: Who is in the wrong?

JUBILEE government behaving like PEV '08 never happened

Yet another deadly attack as terror escalates in Kenya

Are you a nice guy women are never passionate about?

Hazina Lunatic project is the reason Kidero is being roasted

New anti-rape device promises to "bite" rapists out of business

Another Obama in the making: Kenyan becomes first Black MP in European country

Kidero, Shebesh to be charged 4 months later... why??

Setback to ODM as party loses one precious seat

Wamalwa tells Ruto to go for 2017 presidency

Chilling 2014 predictions

"You are a traitor," Keter tells Ruto

Raila and Nyanza MPs very worried about Kidero cash

Saturday, January 11, 2014

Westgate shocker: Police were shot from behind as they closed in on terrorists

Western intelligence and security sources continue to criticize the way the Kenyan government handled the Westgate terror attack. Apart from pointing out that virtually all the information given by the government has proved to be false (something Kenyans have been suspecting all along) the latest reports have introduced some very disturbing new revelations.

The report praises the police tactical team and says that they were actually closing in on the terrorists when KDF soldiers shot them from behind in circumstances that have never been explained.

The reason why this new revelation is so disturbing is because for months now persistent rumours have been doing the rounds that the KDF and other security organs in the country actually aided the terrorist attack. That coupled with some very strange things that happened during the attack (still unexplained) makes this probably the most disturbing news that has ever emerged that is linked to the terror attack.

This latest report also confirms earlier indications that there were very few terrorists involved in the attack and states that they were actually only 4. Interestingly one of them was injured in the attack and had a very serious leg injury but somehow still managed to escape with the rest.

Full details published in the latest Kumekucha Real Time Intelligence Report

Kumekucha's Latest News Analysis

Wetangula shooting: It was NOT an assassination attempt, so what was it?

A clear understanding of the confusing South Sudan conflict: Who is in the wrong?

JUBILEE government behaving like PEV '08 never happened

Yet another deadly attack as terror escalates in Kenya

Are you a nice guy women are never passionate about?

Hazina Lunatic project is the reason Kidero is being roasted

New anti-rape device promises to "bite" rapists out of business

Another Obama in the making: Kenyan becomes first Black MP in European country

Kidero, Shebesh to be charged 4 months later... why??

Setback to ODM as party loses one precious seat

Wamalwa tells Ruto to go for 2017 presidency

Chilling 2014 predictions

"You are a traitor," Keter tells Ruto

Raila and Nyanza MPs very worried about Kidero cash

Friday, January 10, 2014

Wetangula Shooting: It was NOT An Assassination Attempt... So What Was It?

Wonders will never cease in the banana republic. Information just in from a seasoned security expert suggests that last night's incident where the Bungoma senator's car was fired at by unknown gunmen was NOT an assassination attempt after all.

In a compelling detailed dossier to this blogger the expert points to several inconsistencies that seem to rule out an assassination attempt.

So what was it? Actually it seems to have been "a message." Somebody somewhere was trying to send a very clear message to Moses Wetangula who is a co-principle within the opposition coalition, CORD. And it seems that the message got home loud and clear. The Bungoma senator was so shaken that he had to be escorted all the way to his Karen home by a large chunk of former PM Raila Odinga's security detail. Raila arrived at the Kilimani police station where Wetangula had gone to report the incident moments after the 10:45PM shooting where no bullet even grazed any occupant of the vehicle.

The security experts' dossier to Kumekucha describes the gunmen as "skilled jokers" who had NO intention of harming a single piece of hair on the senator's head.

"With the automatic weapons we have these days, even a 90 year old Chuchu (grandmother) with a very unsteady hand would have caused serious harm to the occupants of the vehicle. At that angle (described in reports) and considering that the vehicle must have been slowing as it approached the City Mortuary roundabout, all they would have needed to do was point in the general direction and release the bullets and they would have been sure that at least a handful of bullets would have found their mark," the expert says. In other words it took a highly skilled gunman to miss in this situation."

Whoever ordered the shooting had done their homework and thought through the whole process because the media and all blogs (including the Kumekucha blog) are now busy reporting an assassination attempt and trying to analyze that while the real motives remain well hidden.

Read the Kumekucha Real Time Intelligence Report (published just a few minutes ago) to get an idea of what all this may have been about.

Kumekucha's Latest News Analysis

A clear understanding of the confusing South Sudan conflict: Who is in the wrong?

JUBILEE government behaving like PEV '08 never happened

Yet another deadly attack as terror escalates in Kenya

Are you a nice guy women are never passionate about?

Hazina Lunatic project is the reason Kidero is being roasted

New anti-rape device promises to "bite" rapists out of business

Another Obama in the making: Kenyan becomes first Black MP in European country

Kidero, Shebesh to be charged 4 months later... why??

Setback to ODM as party loses one precious seat

Wamalwa tells Ruto to go for 2017 presidency

Chilling 2014 predictions

"You are a traitor," Keter tells Ruto

Raila and Nyanza MPs very worried about Kidero cash

Thursday, January 09, 2014

Breaking News: Wetangula Survives Assassination Attempt

CORD co-principle and Bungoma senator Moses Wetangula a few hours ago (Thursday night 09/01/2014) survived what appears to have been an assassination attempt.

The shocking incident happened on Mbagathi Way as Wetangula was on his way to his Karen home. Several shots were fired from a car that was parked across the road. Miraculously all three occupants (the senator, his driver and an aide) in the car escaped unhurt. Wetangula was going to his Karen home from Jomo Kenyatta airport where he had just landed from Mombasa. The incident occurred at about 10:45 PM.

A shaken Wetangula described the incident as an assassination attempt.

The incident comes only days after a book on political predictions for this year released by Kumekucha described 2014 as the year of assassinations. Read more about that HERE.

UPDATE
First hand account courtesy of Kenya-today.com

"We’ve just left Kilimani Police Station where Senate Minority Leader Hon Moses Wetangula has recorded a statement accompanied by the Rt Hon Raila Odinga. Hon Wetangula had just arrived back in Nairobi from Mombasa. He’d landed at the JKIA where his car met him. They drove from the airport along Mombasa Road, past Nyayo Stadium round about to Mbagathi Way where they came across a parked car near the City Mortuary round about. As Hon Wetangula’s vehicle approached, one of the occupants of the parked vehicle opened fire. The bullets struck just above the driver’s side of the windscreen. The driver sped past the car and headed up Ngong Road where they stopped at a police road block to report the matter. They then proceeded to Kilimani Police Station where the Rt Hon met them after being hosted earlier on at the Churchill Show in Carnivore. The Prime Minister’s security detail has safely escorted Hon Wetangula to his home. No one was injured in the incident."

Kumekucha's Latest News Analysis

"You are a traitor," Keter tells Ruto

Raila and Nyanza MPs very worried about Kidero cash

A Clear Understanding Of The Confusing South Sudan Conflict

The world and its' problems are not be analyzed in simple back and white. We live in a world that is more than what printers call full colour because apart from the primary colours there are scores of different shades to every colour.

In the same vein the conflict in South Sudan is not simply a tribal conflict or a power struggle between two people although both statements are partly true. Actually it seems that the crux of the problem is the declining political support for President Silva Kiir, who seems to have been on a mission to monopolize and control everything (as all African leaders have always wanted to) before he was brought to a screeching halt by the only language sycophants and dictators pay attention to... resisting force.

Read this very revealing analysis of the South Sudan crisis.

....the SPLA, is less a national army than a coalition of local militias. SPLA has hundreds of generals, possibly more than any other army in the world. Not only is every leader in each militia that joins the SPLA rewarded with the rank of general, these generals are also assured continuing command of "their" militia, it being none other than the militia now bearing a new title.

--------------------------------------------------- The most amazing/sick photo you will ever see in your life that illustrates the perils of African politics. View it in seconds click HERE. ====================================

Results of the last Kumekucha poll; Is Kenya now a dictatorship?
75% YES
25% NO

Kumekucha's Latest News Analysis

JUBILEE government behaving like PEV '08 never happened

Yet another deadly attack as terror escalates in Kenya

Are you a nice guy women are never passionate about?

Hazina Lunatic project is the reason Kidero is being roasted

New anti-rape device promises to "bite" rapists out of business

Another Obama in the making: Kenyan becomes first Black MP in European country

Kidero, Shebesh to be charged 4 months later... why??

Setback to ODM as party loses one precious seat

Wamalwa tells Ruto to go for 2017 presidency

Chilling 2014 predictions

"You are a traitor," Keter tells Ruto

Raila and Nyanza MPs very worried about Kidero cash

Wednesday, January 08, 2014

Jubilee Government Behaving Like PEV 2008 Never Happened

What really caused the blood letting in Kenya after the 2007 Presidential elections?

Chief mediator of the talks that led to the forming of a grand coalition government, Koffi Annan was clearly well informed on the reasons. You just have to look at the agenda for action that he helped construct. Apart from the formation of all inclusive grand coalition government there were urgent reforms suggested (only the one on the judiciary took off) and that those responsible are brought to justice (has never happened and is unlikely to ever happen). Then there was the formation of the truth, justice and reconciliation commission. Sadly even as you read this efforts are at advanced stage to use the "rubber stamp" parliament to find ways to amend certain sections of the report. And that is after alarms have already been raised that even that report that people want to fiddle with had already been altered in some sections.

Who informed Bwana Kofi Annan? It was our very own politicians, which means they are well aware of why Kenyans suddenly saw red after those ill-fated polls.

But how are those same politicians behaving now? Recent parastatal appointments by President Uhuru Kenyatta have raised temperatures considerably. And not only from the opposition, some of the loudest critics are JUBILEE people. In fact it seems that "this small matter of a few appointments" is threatening the very survival of the ruling coalition proving that it is NOT a small matter.
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The most amazing/sick photo you will ever see in your life that illustrates the perils of African politics. View it in seconds click HERE.
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Kenyans went berserk in 2008 as a culmination of decades of injustice and the fact that the national cake has really belonged to only one tribe and momentarily to a second tribe that is the only other tribe apart from the first to ever produce a president.

In other words the government is rubbing salt on the same wounds that caused trouble in 2008. JUBILEE is behaving as if the PEV never happened.

There is an interesting new study just out that assesses how Kenya avoided another round of widespread ethnic violence in the March 2013 elections and what steps still need to be taken. The report for the Global Centre for the Responsibility to Protect was conducted by Abdullahi Boru Halakhe, an expert on security and political analysis of the region, and a former journalist reporting from his native Kenya for the BBC. Read more details HERE.

Kumekucha's Latest News Analysis

Yet another deadly attack as terror escalates in Kenya

Are you a nice guy women are never passionate about?

Hazina Lunatic project is the reason Kidero is being roasted

New anti-rape device promises to "bite" rapists out of business

Another Obama in the making: Kenyan becomes first Black MP in European country

Kidero, Shebesh to be charged 4 months later... why??

Setback to ODM as party loses one precious seat

Wamalwa tells Ruto to go for 2017 presidency

Chilling 2014 predictions

"You are a traitor," Keter tells Ruto

Raila and Nyanza MPs very worried about Kidero cash

Breaking News: Yet Another Deadly Attack As Terror Escalates in Kenya

Terrorists are planning something very very major, experts say

If you see this on the road ahead of you, do not proceed. It is usually also a sign that others may be planted in the area including where you are.

Oh no, not again, yet another deadly terror attack on Kenyan soil. In the space of just one week there have been several attacks (some reported here exclusively) and a grenade attack at a major hotel in Diani South Coast that injured scores. Security and al Shabaab analysts have told this blogger that this unprecedented activity appears to be in preparation for a major attack as detailed in my 2014 predictions book and what should really worry Kenyans are some of the targets al Shabaab have in mind this time round.

The latest attack happened earlier today around 9am and miraculously there were no casualties. This time it was at the Dabaab refugee camp and it appears that the I.E.D. (Improvised Explosive Device) failed to explode as several vehicles went over the area and only detonated after the last truck in the convoy drove through. This is what saved many lives and frustrated the intention of the terrorists who planted it. (Read the full report HERE).

Apart from predicting intensified terrorist activities in the country in 2014 and revealing latest developments reported by intelligence sources within the al Shabaab high command that is the cause of this, my latest sizzler also has plenty of eye openers on the political front. One email from somebody who has recently read the book described the revelations and predictions in the book thus; "I have no words.."
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The most amazing/sick photo you will ever see in your life that illustrates the perils of African politics. View it in seconds click HERE.
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Inside info that predicted March 4th Elections winner in 2007
I have received several emails over the years asking a simple question;

"What is your secret? Do you consult witchdoctors in Tanzania to get to know what is going to happen in future?"

This is concerning predictions made on Kumekucha. Regular readers will know that we have a policy here of NOT gloating. The only time we comment about predictions we make is on the few occasions when they do not come to pass. When they happen just as we had said we do not even talk about it. Why should we when we should instead be busy digging out the next big revelation? besides folks are intelligent enough to realize what has happened without us seeking to rub it in.

HOWEVER today I break that rule and point you to a Kumekucha post in 2007. Yep 2007. That revealed insider information that clearly identified the fourth president of Kenya (our current president) while detailing what was going on in the corridors of powers even then to ensure that this would come to pass. Actually a group of very powerful and resourceful Kenyans pulled all the plugs in their careful scheming then and it worked. It is this powerful clique who are forcing the grandfather appointments by the president that have drawn so much criticism across the board. Read that 2007 article for yourself HERE and don't forget to check the date.

This will no doubt be useful information to the tons of folks who are relatively new to Kumekucha and I sincerely hope that it does not sound like bragging because that is NOT my intention here. Rather I am preparing you for some of the jaw-dropping predictions of what is expected to go down in the next 12 months or so. All signs are that it is going to be a year like no other. BUT it is NOT all gloom, so relax.

Answer questions like;
- What is URP's secret plan and deadly ace card currently being played from under the table? And what will happen to Ruto as a result?
- Is Raila Odinga finished politically or will he rise again in 2014 like a Phoenix from the ashes of the last general elections?
- What is going to happen to governor Kidero and who are the main powerful individuals plotting his downfall? What are their chances of success in 2014?
- Who is this evil, brutal Osama Bin Laden imitator in Somalia who has caused so much blood shed in Kenya already? A man that the influential TIME magazine felt was important enough to write about and feature amongst the 100 most influential people in the world? What is this evil man's plan for Kenya and the world in 2014? (has already started happening).

Kumekucha's Latest News Analysis

Are you a nice guy women are never passionate about?

Hazina Lunatic project is the reason Kidero is being roasted

New anti-rape device promises to "bite" rapists out of business

Another Obama in the making: Kenyan becomes first Black MP in European country

Kidero, Shebesh to be charged 4 months later... why??

Setback to ODM as party loses one precious seat

Wamalwa tells Ruto to go for 2017 presidency

Chilling 2014 predictions

"You are a traitor," Keter tells Ruto

Raila and Nyanza MPs very worried about Kidero cash

Sunday, January 05, 2014

Are you a nice guy women are never passionate about?

Kumekucha Weekend Special

Sample the following scenario. You are the perfect gentleman and you think you understand women totally and you are at this social function having drinks with this hot chic you have fancied for a very long time. Today finally you have gotten a decent date and are quietly having a drink somewhere.

Then this guy walks into your nice cozy conversation. He acts very cocky and rude. Even makes a joke about some desperate women chasing after him. You are not interested until you start noticing the reaction of the hot chic you are with. It starts with a smile. Then soon she is laughing at every joke he is making.

What the h*** is going on here, you wonder.

But you don’t have time to really figure it out because before you know it the jerk of a man is leaving with your woman. Aii it is so early and the night is still so young where could they possibly be going?

“I’ll call you kesho,” is all the hot chic says to you and gives you a small peck on the cheek. What hurts you even more is the excitement you see in her eyes. She has never been that excited around you. This jerk guy must be using witchcraft. How do you have that kind of effect on a woman so quickly?

You call the next day (Sunday) at noon and she is not picking up her phone. She never does that and you are worried and you start calling all her friends thinking the worst. Did the stranger murder her?

Later you get all the gory details. The hot chic took the jerk to her house for you know what. That was early Saturday night and they only left the house to go to work on Monday morning. The info cuts through your heart like a hot knife cutting through butter. How could she…?? That girl was yours, or so you thought. How could she fall for a player and a man who is NOT nice to women like you??

This is a typical scenario that has happened to many Kenyan men out there and indeed to men all over the world who don’t have a clue about women but think they do.

If you are looking to attract women you need to change your mindset with the following facts.

1)   Women NEVER get attracted to men who are too nice to them. I am not saying you slap her around. But since the stone-age days women get attracted like a magnet to real men not sissies. Why do you think rugby players have it so easy? Relax you don't need to start playing rugby or lifting weights, there are many routes to get to the CBD in Nairobi and they all lead to the same place.

2)   Women will talk a lot about how hot a guy looks but when the chips are down they will tend to get attracted to personality rather than looks. Hehehehehe great news if you don't have the looks... ama?

3)   Women are driven more by emotion rather than intellect and it doesn’t matter how many PhDs she has from Harvard. When a man is shocked by a woman’s behaviour and quips how he does not understand them the most likely thing that just happened is that she reacted emotionally to something.

4)   Women rarely mean what they say. Statements like “I am not interested he is such a player,” need to be received with a pinch of salt and lots of caution (and in fact warning bells should be going off all over the place) by a nice man hanging desperately to a woman.

Kumekucha's Latest News Analysis

Hazina Lunatic project is the reason Kidero is being roasted

New anti-rape device promises to "bite" rapists out of business

Another Obama in the making: Kenyan becomes first Black MP in European country

Kidero, Shebesh to be charged 4 months later... why??

Setback to ODM as party loses one precious seat

Wamalwa tells Ruto to go for 2017 presidency

Chilling 2014 predictions

"You are a traitor," Keter tells Ruto

Raila and Nyanza MPs very worried about Kidero cash

Ruto jitters: Is Raila really back? | Kenya news

Monday, January 13, 2014

Saturday, January 11, 2014

Friday, January 10, 2014

Thursday, January 09, 2014

Wednesday, January 08, 2014

Sunday, January 05, 2014