Deadly State House PR Spin Machine At It Again

There was a time recently that legislators referred to Aden Duale as makanga wa State house. This past weekend those Kenyans who may not have had any idea what the heck mpigs were talking about got to fully understood the rather appropriate tag.

Duale is the key tool used by State house for spinning purposes.

Now not everybody understands what spinning is so wiseguys please be patient for a minute for me to explain. Everything in life including the marketing of a product but especially politics is ruled by the perception (and NOT necessarily the truth) of the relevant publics. No matter how bad the news is you can change (spin) the way the public should receive it for your own selfish purposes.

Let me give an example from an old movie that I downloaded and watched this past weekend. The movie is called Thank you for smoking and it proves that you can market poison itself successfully to folks who do not want to commit suicide. You just need to be good at spinning stuff. Anyway without boring you with the details the chief protagonist is a spin expert for tobacco companies at a time when the public in the US is beginning to realize that tobacco smoking is damaging to the health (despite tobacco companies spending millions to prove that no research has conclusively proved this). A sexy female reporter seduces him and gets all the info she wants via pillow-talk (always, always works). The guy is devastated when she publishes her article and reveals all his killer moves to kill millions who continue smoking because he is so good at what he does. "I thought what we talked about when we were F****** was off the record," he screams at her shortly after he is fired.

But the spin master is not cornered yet, not even after the kind of article that should have been the end of the story. He calls a press conference and tells the public that the said reporter obtained her information by seducing him and wonders if this is the official policy of the very respectable newspaper for getting stories.. Naturally the attention of the public shifts completely to the said seductress (forgetting her article).

Now what we are being told with a straight face is that the ICC cases were engineered with the sole purpose of ensuring Raila Odinga's smooth passage to power. The "confirmation" of this is what former ICC prosecutor Luis Moreno Ocampo said in some radio interview in the Netherlands. I have reviewed that interview and I can assure you that he DID NOT say anything that could be remotely interpreted the way Duale interpreted it.

But who cares? According to the grassroots supporters of Uhuruto the government has said it and so it must be gospel truth and that is the end of the story. As you read this some Kenyan grazing cattle in the countryside is saying to himself; "Kumbe Raila is such a nasty piece of work? Alitaka kumaliza mtu wetu"
To be honest with you I have never seen such an efficient spin machine as what has been installed in the banana republic just now in the heart of State house. Even Herr Hitler himself would have gone green with envy by just getting a glimpse into their work.

And remember that now that somebody has kicked up the dust attention will be diverted from other more important issues of the day like that smelly railway project that your great grand child will still be paying for by the time they go to their grave.

Very very smart!


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Will CORD's Plan To Remove Uhuru From Power Work?

These days I don't get the time to relax with cheap thrillers but I am NOT ashamed to say that for many years I have always enjoyed a good James Hardley Chase novel. Yep, those primary school kids novels. I have always been a sucker for the drama, suspense and edge-of-the-seat cheap tricks that make up these small books that were written by a Brit imitating American "thug language."

Will this man's calculated sucker punch against the JUBILEE Presidency work? 

My favourite has always been The Sucker punch which is the story of a perfect murder that went wrong because of one silly little detail. At some point the main character is watching a fight where there is this boxer clearly winning and all over his opponent. But his overconfidence is his undoing because the losing fighter sneaks in one punch that floors him and ends the fight. The sucker punch.

For weeks now there has been lots of excitement in the CORD fold, like there is something big about to happen. And the guys seem to have taken an oath of secrecy or something because my best efforts were met with people who were not going to tell me anything. But about 2 weeks ago CORD principal Kalonzo Musyoka let it slip that elections would be very soon long before 2017. I went and did my research and still could not see how this could be made to happen. At least not legally. Then over the weekend I learnt that there may be a plan to impeach the president over the rampant insecurity in the country.

Still it did not make sense to me because the rubber stamp JUBILEE coalition has the numbers in the senate and overwhelmingly so. I forgot about the ridiculous theory until I hit the shower. In the middle of soaping myself it hit me. There has been widespread rebellion within the ruling coalition. The truth is that currently only a small tiny push will throw things out of control.

Even more interesting is what Katiba says. If such a motion were to be successful then the Deputy President would take over for the remainder of the term. Now that sounds like just the right kind of incentive to rally the entire Rift Valley behind such a motion. To survive the said Deputy president would also need to do business with CORD and so our politics would change overnight and both houses would look very different even with the same legislators. In such a scanrio a fresh election before 2017 becomes a real possibility.

Now insecurity is one subject that is mighty close to Kenyans just now. Police say that an average of 3 matatus are carjacked daily. Some observers say that the number is closer to 10. In some of these incidences women passengers are raped...and even male ones in one or two bizarre cases. Not to mention the fact that many parts of the country that were previously crime free now have unprecedented crime waves sweeping through them. No Kenyan in their right mind would fail to admit the fact that the government has failed in its' fundamental responsibility of guaranteeing security for its' people.

And the crimes are not only increasing but also getting more heinous by the day. Small children being kidnapped for ransoms and then being murdered in cold blood is the kind of thing that would cause any responsible leadership to stop what they are doing and address the problem as a priority. But nah, our government has been too busy with the ICC cases at the Hague. And the little spare time senior police officers have away from their efforts to make huge sums of money using their good offices is all going into rather belated efforts to fight the infiltration by terrorists into the very fabric of Kenyan life. When you allow people to walk into the country and radicalize youths over a long period of time, to them it becomes a normal lecture at the mosque as usual and their right to be radicalized which should NOT be disturbed by police. That is why there was so much blood letting at the Mombasa mosque over the weekend when police finally made a decision to make a move against this practice that has been ongoing for a long time.

In fact if you want to know how serious things are consider the fact that some people are now saying that Uganda is more stable and much safer than Kenya and are being taken seriously.

But back to the sucker punch from CORD. Is it really plausible? Can Raila Odinga's coalition pull it off? My straight answer is that it is plausible but unlikely to succeed. The people who marshaled the whole of Africa against the ICC are likely to make mince meat of CORD and are not the kind of fighters who would fall for a sucker punch from the opposition just now.

Fortunately also for them, they have been spending fortunes trying to destabilize CORD ahead of the ODM elections next week. In fact they have done such a good job of it that the ODM which will emerge from those elections will indeed have a national outlook but will be much weaker than the ODM that led the CORD coalition into last year's general elections. I keep reminding you guys that this is politics and not primary school elections for class prefect.