Low-lifes want to mess up our country

This is the most important post I have written in a very long time and I am not ashamed to say that I write it with tears trickling down my cheeks.

My parents were not rich but I was brought up fairly comfortably. I never went hungry and I was dropped at school by car every day. I was never sent home even once because of my fees not being paid.

But I am also very grateful for the experience I had when I finished my sixth form and decided to move out of my father’s house right away. The first thing that hit me hard was when I realized that I could not afford to pay rent on my own anywhere near the Kileleshwa neighbourhood where my dad resided at the time. Even the servants quarters available in the area were way out of my reach as a freelance journalist and aspiring writer. I ended up in Riruta a reasonable middle class estate at that time but not far from the sprawling Kawangware slums. I was shocked that there were pit latrines anywhere close to Nairobi and filthy ones at that. I was yet to discover that this was sheer luxury compared to the good folks at Kibera who do not have toilets at all and have to use paper bags which they then throw all over the place. But I was overjoyed to be independent. I am grateful to God every day that I was born the kind of person who can be comfortable virtually anywhere.

That was the beginning of my education on how most Kenyans live this life. Always the curious type I ventured into many slum areas making friends easily and learning what I thought would always be for my own consumption.

I learnt how most kids in this area love to drink plenty of water because they are hungry most of the day and will only have a single meal in a day (which more often than not will not even be enough). And so they fill their stomach with water to dull the hunger pangs. I went hungry myself many times as I struggled to prove to myself and my dad that I was capable of taking care of myself.

I saw things that made me wonder whether I was still in Kenya. One particular encounter in the Kibera slums just floored me and has haunted me since.

In Kibera Kenyans who have gone without food for a few days usually hang around on the roads and deliberately throw themselves in front of a passing car that is not moving too fast. The whole idea is to get some kind of payment “to go to hospital” from the “rich” driver of the vehicle. And it works sometimes. The hungry young man may get hit quite badly sometimes but at least he ends up with a few coins given to him to go to hospital but which he will use to buy some food. I once asked a friend in the slums if the people who do this do not fear death. His answer shocked me to my bones. For people who live in these slum areas death is sometimes a welcome escape from the life of hopelessness they live every day. And thus many of them do not fear death. The immediate motive is to eat but if they die that is even better because they will never need to worry again about what they will eat tomorrow.

With this kind of background I get sick hearing some NGO-type still burping and farting from her six course lunch appear on national TV and give Kenyans wonderful theories about why Waititu should be barred from contesting. Or the fat journalist still sweating from a nyamachoma lunch who writes a column saying that TNA chaps are crazy to from Waitutu for governor of Nairobi.

Well the low-lifes are the vast majority of voters and fortunately there is nothing anybody can do about that (unless you want to change the constitution and give the chaps at Lavington 3 votes for every single one cast by a low-life). These are the kind of people supporting the political aspirations of Ferdinand Waititu and Michael Gideon Sonko. They are not on social media and neither will they be able to leave a comment here to praise this post despite the fact that internet access is so cheap these days. They have other more basic needs to worry about. But the truth is that Waititu speaks their language and so does Sonko. And that is why you can be sure that those two individuals are as good as already elected.

Over the last few days I have read and heard all kinds of comments about how stupid and ridiculous it is for anybody to imagine Waititu as governor of Nairobi. They have really saddened me.

I have realized that the divide between the haves and the have-nothings has continued to widen considerably because the experiences I describe above are from the late 80s. Between that time and now a lot more has happened to worsen the lot of the less privileged in Kenya. Meanwhile our leaders have continued to behave with arrogance and in a manner that would suggest that it is not true that over 70% of Nairobians live in slums. Is it any surprise that leaders like Waititu and Sonko have attracted the constituency that they have?

I have coined the phrase low-lifes from one of my relatives who really looks down on those less privileged Kenyans and has no time for them. And yet they do not hail from a rich family, in fact she walked to school in her time and was sent home several times for lack of fees. Indeed I have noticed that the worst people are not even the rich but the middle class and those aspiring to be associated with the well to do. I have watched with amusement as some of my brothers get extremely UNcomfortable when I mix freely with the so-called “low lifes.”

Our press is not any better because it has become extremely elitist. Journalists write their stories as if they were in Europe or somewhere in the United States. This would have been laughable if it were not so tragic. And if we were not sitting on a time bomb that will have to explode some day. I remember when I was trying to get into journalism there used to be a small pub somewhere along Moi avenue where journalists mixed freely with the public and many ordinary Kenyans. In those days there were many journalists who lived in Eastlands and especially the parts of Eastlands that are not well to do. In those days the newspapers were much more readable and I wonder these days why the leading daily newspapers don’t simply move to Muthaiga and do all their reporting and coverage there instead of pretending that they represent the masses.

You can keep on looking down on low-lifes, their thinking and political choices but be aware of the fact that their day is coming. Don’t for a minute fool yourself that the walls surrounding your leafy neighborhood house are high enough or that the dogs roaming in your compound are fierce enough to protect you when the time comes.

I write this post well aware of the fact that for all intents and purposes I am playing guitar music to goats. Still I declare today that I stand with the low-lifes of Kenya and all my views and opinions here will reflect that without any fear or embarrassment.

Waititu is the best governor that Nairobi can ever have and if for no other reason at least his elevation will delay the coming violent class wars when the low-lifes wake up one morning and decide that they have had enough.

P.S. If this post did not make any sense to you I recommend that you skip your 2 next meals (you can drink as much water as you wish) and then come back and read this post when you are still hungry. You may just begin to understand it then. There is no way burpers and farters can comprehend the contents here and so I advice that you d not even try.

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The coming face of Nairobi

This is national politics not an election at the golf club

Nairobi Governor in waiting Ferdinand "Rusha Mawe" Waititu

By M-pesa
During the sham and delayed nominations, Mbaru supporters were impatient and left the queues in a huff because they had to dash back to work quickly.

Waititu's supporters stayed put because most of them are young and jobless youth from various slums in the city like Korogocho, Mukuru, Mathare, Kibera etc. Sonko won by a landslide, it's the same supporters who elected waititu!

Don't forget 70 percent of Nairobians live in various slums and when it comes to elections, they call the shots. Most of them don't read blogs or newspapers, actually they heard of Jimnah Mbaru just a few weeks ago when he declared his candidature.


They see him as the snobbish and golfing type who has never slept hungry. On the other hand, Waititu and Sonko are always the first whenever there's demolition or fire in these slums fighting even physically for them.

I'm not shocked that Waititu sailed through. Once you win the hearts and minds of the poor and oppressed, then nothing else matters in elections. Mbaru even published his CV which is over 30 pages long. To the holloi polloi out there, those are just useless pieces of papers.

Of course to me and you reading this, belching and farting after your five course meal, Mbaru would make the better Governor being a highly decorated technocrat and suave CEO with all his grand plans.

But sorry, that's NOT how democracy works! Majority have their way while minority have their say. I suspect tribeless middle-class in TNA may "defect" to Kidero or still vote Mbaru if he defects to UDF like someone told me he may. But will it be enough to defeat Waititu with all the strong support he has in the slums? Nope!

Dirty Kenyan Politics Part 3: Nominations

As Ferdinand Waititu secures TNA nomination for governor

Read Part 1 of this article
Read Part 2 of this article

The most surprising thing about the nomination chaos witnessed countrywide is that it has caught many Kenyans unawares.

But why should it when the country has been neatly divided into tribal zones where winning the nomination of the tribe’s political party is an automatic pass to the desired seat? That means that candidates will do anything, and I mean ANYTHING, to get the party nomination. Indeed in many instances the budget for the nominations is much higher than what will be spent on the actual election.

Dirty tricks are much easier to use during nominations because the political parties cannot be as stringent organized and professional as the national electoral body, the IEBC. Is it not much easier to bribe some party official overseeing some nomination process? In any case has anybody carefully examined the real motive for most in taking up the responsibility of being a returning officer for their political party? Let me spell it out for you; personal fundraising. And it is fundraising for big projects like buying a shamba. And fortunately for those with these kinds of motives the 2013 elections are a goldmine.

Remember that we have more elective posts than we have ever had before. And the posts people are going for are pretty powerful. Being an MP is nothing. A governor for instance has more power than the president and will be a true boss in a county. Even senators will have much more clout than members of the national assembly. However most Kenyans at the grassroots level are still to come to terms with these new realities and so to them an MP is still a very important person indeed.

When you take all these facts into consideration then the only conclusion is that the nominations that we have just witnessed went pretty well.

Headquarters of rigging
==========
Most people are unaware of the real politics behind these nominations. Admittedly when a party is popular in a certain region rivals will always try to disrupt things by planting their own less popular candidate and looking for a way for them to win. In other instances they will allow their “planted” candidate to go through on the ticket of the popular party thus having their man or woman on the inside of the rival party for the purposes of passing on information and even voting in their favour when crucial bills come up for a vote.

For this reason party big wigs usually sit in Nairobi carefully monitoring the results coming in from all over the country and where for some reason they doubt the winner (or don’t like them), all they have to do is place a call and strange things start happening on the ground.

Politics can hardly get any dirtier than that.

Waititu Bags TNA Nomination For Nairobi Governor

Just a few days after my much-maligned-Sonko-for-president post rogue MP Ferdinand Waititu has beaten Jimnah Mbaru for the TNA nomination for Nairobi governor.

What is interesting is that Mbaru beat Waititu in the latter’s own backyard of Embakasi. Clearly there is something that went very wrong there.


The bottom line is that Nairobians need to prepare themselves for governor Waititu, as mentioned in this blog many months ago, he is unbeatable.

All in all this is a sign of things to come and Kenyans should be prepared to see a class war clearly emerge in these elections.

Kenyans, don’t you love your country enough?

I am angry. And you should be too.

Let’s get serious here because our future and that of our loved ones depends on it. It seems that there is a plot to make me go through another 5 years very similar to the last 5 nightmarish years I have gone through. Hell no!!!

As things stand at the time of writing this, on March 4th we will have a choice of electing either Uhuru Kenyatta or Raila Odinga to be the fourth president of Kenya.

Did you say Raila Odinga? The man who has been the second most powerful man in Kenya for the last 5 years? Are you sure that is the man you are talking about? Well with all due respect to the man I voted for in 2007, what has he done in the last 5 years? Surely he should have given us a glimpse (at the very least) of what he is capable of doing? Please let’s not get tribal here and let’s leave all the emotions out of this. Yes, the election was stolen from him and my sympathies go out to him. But I dare say that where our beloved country is now, we cannot afford to elect somebody purely on sympathetic grounds.

Do you read the newspapers (when you can afford them)? Insecurity all over the place, people getting killed and robbed? Injustice, impunity, rape, corruption etc. My dear friends surely Kenya can only take so much. Surely sooner or later something will give. What am I saying? We are in a crisis as a nation and we cannot afford to make decisions based on emotions.

So if you get sober enough you will realize that voting CORD will be a big mistake. Who did you say is Hon Raila’s running mate? Kalonzo Musyoka? Wow. Those are the guys you want to hand over the reigns of the country for the next 5 years?

What was the name of the other person Kenyans are so eager to put into State house? Uhuru Kenyatta? I think I am going to have a fit at his rate. Isn’t that the guy with a case before the ICC? So what you guys are saying is that you want to make Kenya another Sudan? Well, they have plenty of oil gushing out of the soil and they have bossom buddies in the Arab world with deep pockets. So you don’t want to tell me that you want to push Kenya into deeper crisis by causing the country to be shunned by every other nation that matters do you?

Most of the good folks who will hear nothing of electing anybody but the son of Jomo ride in matatus. When was the last time the Jubilee luminary rode in a matatu? When was the last time he worried about insecurity in the country? I will not even discuss his silver-spoon-in-the-mouth upbringing within the grounds of State house because I know that at least 7 million Kenyans (priviledged information) want to turn our beloved country into some kind of kingdom where certain people come from a royal lineage and have a right to rule.

Folks we have been had. The political class have all ganged up against us the voters and put us in a corner where we have no choice but to vote for either of the candidates of their choice. Don’t you get it? Why do you think that they have all meekly and obediently lined up behind either of the two horses? And I mean ALL OF THEM. Don’t you think that there is something they know that we don’t know?

I have a solution. Good people we have the power to say NO. We have the power to say enough is enough. We have the power to teach all these guys a lesson by refusing to fit into their neat and well laid plans. We tiny mice that always get caught in that mouse trap, inches away from the juicy cheese and other goodies they put there to lure us in, need to stop and think. Guys it is the very same mouse trap and the very same bait and it will get the very same results. You and I will be left complaining the same complaints over the next 5 years and taking about how our leaders are corrupt and greedy and selfish. But who will have elected them into office?

The young people of Kenya have a nice phrase that I really love. “Kuingizwa kwa box” (t be put into a box). It is used to refer to a situation where you have been chasing this girl and she has shunned you until one day she gives in to you and accepts her fate with you. She “ingias kwa box”. Guys let us refuse kuingia kwa box.

I have an idea. Why don’t we all elect somebody who is out of the box. Somebody who is not even seeking the presidency as we speak. Why don’t we hand pick our very own leader? Somebody who is acceptable to all tribes because I honestly don’t know what tribe he is and I really don’t care. And more importantly neither do his die-hard supporters.

Let us all together demand that this person stands for president and then let us all ignore the circus that has been elaborately prepared for us and elect this guy just to teach the political class a lesson. To remind them that we have the power. Because we do.

Gideon Sonko has many things about him that I don’t like. Actually my list is pretty long. BUT he understands the common man. He knows what the ordinary mwananchi goes through. And that is why he is extremely popular on the ground and most of all… roll the drums please! The thing I like the most… he is tribeless. Yes!! That is the big cancer we must get rid of NOW before it consumes all of us together with our children. Sonko has no tribe to favour. Although I dare add that having a person who belongs to your tribe in State house has NEVER been known to put any ugali on anybody’s plate. Ask your Kalenjin friends what they benefitted from President Moi’s 24 years in power. Ask our Kikuyu brothers what they have to show for Kibaki’s 10 year rule. I dare add that when you have your tribe in State house it is in fact a disadvantage because they have to work very hard not to look like they are favouring you. The result is that you will be disfavored for the next 5 years.

So let’s just cancel out this tribe thing and look for a tribeless guy to be our next president.

Now I can see you twisting your face in horror at my very suggestion and wondering what I am smoking as I write this. Guys I am extremely sober.

President Jacob Gedleyihlekisa Zuma is the President of South Africa. That economy is much more complex than ours and much bigger too. Sample this; if you lived in South Africa instead of Kenya you would;
-    have 40% more chance at being employed
-    make 6.3 times more money
-    use 36.1 times more electricity
-    consume 6.3 times more oil
-    spend 10.7 times more money on health care
-    have 18.15% less chance of your yet to be born toddler dying in infancy

That country is in the hands of a man with less education than our own President Gideon Sonko.

Oh yes I know what the law says about the qualification of a presidential candidate but that is something that can be challenged in a court because you do not need a law degree to see how unconstitutional it really is. The rich kids go to school and they don’t want the poor kids to ever become president because some folks in some ivory tower seem to think that Kenya suffered under Moi because of his poor educational background. I don’t agree. Kenya has suffered the most in the hands of educated people who were crooked and did not care about the ordinary folks because they will never understand them. Most of them believe that poor people are poor because they are fools. I beg to differ.

But I digress.

I and a lot of people in this country would love to see Gideon Sonko on the ballot paper for president on March 4th. I dare the guys who own Kenya to put him there and let the people decide. Please don’ limit our choices.

Musituweke kwa box!

P.S. Kindly forward/photocopy etc this article to other voters. Grab this opportunity to have something to brag about to your grand children, it may be your only chance.

P.S. You are free to suggest any other tribeless candidate of your choice that we can all comfortably vote for. For better or for worse let’s do something different this time round instead of doing the same thing and hoping for different results. As you know that’s the definition of madness and surely Kenyans are NOT mad.

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Dirty Kenyan Politics Part 2

Read Part 1 of this article first

For you to be able to analyze anything soberly you must be able to step back and away from all your emotions and the immense euphoria that engulfs most Kenyans during any election.

If you do this you will quickly realize that election 2013 is already shaping up to be the most violent in our history. Yep, even more violent than 2008.

Interestingly the fiery earthquake prophet Awuor has already predicted the following about the upcoming general elections;

I see terrible animosity, with a worse magnitude than the 2008 violence. It will sweep Kenya with flood of blood and wananchi will hack one another like ones hacking down trees. Kenyans will kill one another with renewed appetite and the agony will be as horrible as never ever seen in the land. It will occur simultaneously with the elections to disguise the cause.

Even if you do not believe in prophets, it is abundantly clear that the chief dirty trick being used in these elections is violence. There are few political strategies that are as effective as violence when it comes to winning elections. Kenyans urgently need to be educated on this and you can do a great service to the nation by forwarding this article to as many of your friends as you possibly can. This is a message that those  who own Kenya do not want Kenyans to know. They are determined that we remain naïve and swallow the cock and bull story that two tribes who have been living peacefully together for years can suddenly wake up one morning and start killing each other over some livestock or watering holes. This is hogwash. Just carefully study cattle rustling and compare it to the troubles we have seen in recent times. Look for where women and children were hacked down or houses burnt and if you find the same pattern then you can believe some of the down right lies being peddled to Kenyans with abandon.

The Tana clashes are linked to presidential politics. Sadly I cannot say more here but readers of my raw notes will get all the info in their inboxes.

But how does violence win elections? Here’s how;

a) Your opponent's voters are forced to relocate from the place where they need to be to vote. In many cases your core supporters are the ones you are using to keep the fire of trouble and violence burning and so they will remain to vote. Those who remain who are not with you, can hardly make an objective choice when their priority is to stay alive. (This is one reason why the law should be changed to allow people to vote from anywhere).

b) In the ensuing violence and the chaos that follows there is nobody to stop you "importing" thousands of voters to win the election for you.

c) Violence spreads fear. The idea is to create very serious fear, then come in and quell the violence. It is then very easy to convince the voters that if they don't vote for the "people who quelled the violence" then the violence will return if the other side wins.

d) It becomes easy and much cheaper to collect voters cards from those who remain in return for their lives and security. (Our new electronic voting system seems to have nipped this one in the bud which is great news.)

e) It becomes impossible for any candidate to sell their agenda to the electorate.

In brief election violence and intimidation works like magic. That is why people use it. When you are seated in safety in that posh apartment in some smart neighborhood or in some foreign country, it is impossible for you to understand what it is like to live in constant fear of your life in your own country. Chances are that you have never lived in a populated area where election violence has broken out. How then can you even begin to understand?

Adds Kumekucha; 

Certain politicians are inciting the Tana tribal clashes, to eject one community from the region. It is political.
 
The aim is to speedily assemble evidence against the persons implicated and arraign them in a court of law. There is also strong indication that prosecution of the key perpetrators will restore law and order and bring the killings to a halt.
- Inspector General of Police David Kimaiyo- 
 
The violent clashes have little to do with communal rivalry over shared resources. In most of these attacks there has been no theft of property and where it has occurred, it is more of an afterthought [rather] than the actual motive. In one incident, 60 heads of cattle which could have been easily stolen were instead killed.- Police Spokesman Eric Kiraithe addressing a press briefing on behalf of the Inspector General-


To be continued. Next post: The man who invented extreme election violence warned Kenyans first.
 
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Dirty Kenyan Politics Part 1

Most Kenyans think that political elections are not much different from the elections they may have had in primary school to elect a class monitor. How laughable.

I see it in the numerous cocky but extremely naïve comments both here in this blog and social media. Apparently we have a new generation of young Kenyans who know everything, especially the ones who have made a little cash from some corrupt government tender deals.

It was former influential AG Charles Njonjo who remarked as he was going down that politics is a very dirty game. Most Kenyans dismissed the statement as sour grapes, however the truth is that the man was coming to this realization rather late in his brief political career. Njonjo is a man who has his suits flown out to the UK to be dry cleaned at Saville Row. Despite his slight Kikuyu accent the man must have some pure English blood flowing through his veins, the way he behaves. The fact that he wielded immense power both during the Kenyatta and Moi days probably made him think that he was above petty politics. He was of course wrong.

Njonjo and Mwai Kibaki have always been bitter enemies despite the fact that they both served in the same cabinet for many years. However Kibaki made exactly the same mistake and has paid for it with a troubled presidency where he has to reach out for spin doctors to tell the people what he has achieved when his achievements are actually supposed to be doing the talking for him. The truth is that the president has only delivered 10 per cent of what he was capable of.

Admittedly it did not help that he hardly ever gets out of bed before 11am meaning that almost half the day is already gone. But even then Kibaki came into office with many good ideas that would have revolutionized and impacted Kenyan lives positively. This is why it is very sad that his was a presidency of under-achievement. The chief reason was simply because he thought the presidency was an office that was above politics and mostly petty politics at that.

The truth is that politics is a very dirty game indeed and a lot of the politicking is usually petty but deadly.

Let’s go back a little in time to elaborate this key point of this post. There was a leader of a nation called King Saul and one day as he rode into town with his trusted soldier called David Jesse, the women broke into songs of praise for the two men. That is where the trouble started. The King must have felt that it was wrong for his majesty to be included in songs of praise being sung for a commoner. Matters were made worse when the women (probably carried away by David’s looks, because we are told he was extremely handsome) started singing in their song that King Saul killed thousands and David killed tens of thousands. From that day the King did everything in his power to assassinate the young boy called David Jesse.

Human nature has not changed thousands of years later.

There was a leader of a nation called President Moi who went on a trip to the United States. At one point during that trip his American hosts remarked that his polished foreign minister, Robert Ouko would have made a better president of Kenya than him. (Why is it that Americans still want to measure people’s intelligence from how eloquent they are in English?). A few days later Dr Robert Ouko was dead. The mystery of his death has never been officially solved to this day.

And I can go on and on.

My point is that even as we analyze our politics let us never forget that the world over this is indeed a very ugly game (if you want to even call it a game).

To be continued. Next post: Examples of dirty politics in this election.
 
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Is this what Uhuru and Ruto are really up to?

Guest post by Joe (You can visit Joe's blog to see other articles)
I am not one who sees into the future and neither do I profess to be a soothsayer, a tea leaves reader, a clairvoyant or a Mayan! I do not know how to read palms, or shells, or the dregs of your coffee and neither do I commune with witches, wizards or anything ‘shetani’. In other words I am not a political commentator or an armchair politico, whatever that means. I use my mirror on the wall into the world.

My mirror on the wall tells me that politicians are a very clever though devious lot. They are very good at manipulating the status quo so that they come out as projecting a larger than life persona, a mythical god like image that they can then use to bargain at the table of power. My mirror tells me that Uhuru & Ruto and their Jubilee alliance are just such clever politicians, who have managed to imbue in their followers this god like status and larger than life persona. They have a fanatical almost suicidal following among their tribesmen and that they command great political power is not in doubt. The Kikuyu will almost certainly to the last man vote for Uhuru while Ruto promises to bring a mountain of votes to the ballot paper for Uhuru through his Kalenjin community.

Now these two fellows are very clever and therefore they are not foolish. They know that with the ICC cases hanging over their heads like the guillotine of old, Kenya will be in extremely dire circumstances should they be elected as president and deputy president respectively. They are astute businessmen in their own rights who own either directly or through numerous proxies some of the most profitable businesses across Kenya as well as tracts of land the size of small countries. They are in businesses which rely on the international perception of Kenya including tourism, banking, insurance, real estate, insurance, dairy farming, minerals etc  and it would be foolish for them to jeopardize these businesses once elected to the highest offices in the land. Their businesses must also have also lost massively after the last fracas in 2007.

My submission therefore is that they have everything to lose if they are elected and that they are now merely running a campaign not to be elected but to entrench their positions amongst their communities so as to obtain respectable representation in parliament, the senate and other leadership positions for their rank and file so that while they may not be in government, they have the numbers to insist on their pre-election coalitions being honored to some extent even with another as president. Without these two at the apex of the Jubilee alliance, many senatorial, gubernatorial, parliamentary and other political candidates will not see the doors of the offices they aspire to occupy and that is why Uhuru & Ruto have been held hostage by these political wannabes who know that without their masters, they will get nowhere. Uhuru & Ruto badly need to be on the ballot paper as they have all along insisted but this will be merely to pander to the egos of their respective communities who want to hear nothing else other than their ‘man’ being on the presidential ballot paper.

They are therefore campaigning to lose as can be seen from the many shenanigans being played around surrounding some senior government officials, the devil and the other alliances, which are all calculated to ensure that however you look at the numbers the CORD Alliance will most likely win the next general elections, with Raila Odinga, warts and all, as the next president of Kenya and at the first ballot.

If you observe keenly, Raila has been playing a very conciliatory game including promising to fight to have the ICC trails brought to Kenya for the sake of Uhuru & Ruto and imploring Mudavadi to rejoin ODM (and CORD by extension) because this is part of the lose-lose strategy of Uhuru & Ruto’s joint presidential bid so that they get a soft landing under Raila Odinga’s presidency (assuming he sticks to his promises) as well as almost guaranteeing Mudavadi whose penchant for getting himself check mated while all along he was holding a commanding edge over his opponents is legendary, a good position in his administration.  After all you would rather have a reluctant homeboy on your side and rooting for you and not on the other side barking and letting all and sundry know your dirty little secrets!! If by some miracle Raila was to succeed in bringing the ICC cases to Kenya, then Uhuru and Ruto will be suitably chastised and avoid making a nuisance of themselves in front of the benevolent Raila.

 Uhuru & Ruto are now firmly in the barrel already in the river and moving with the high current at breakneck speed towards the elections waterfall and not knowing how to get off without hurting themselves. They have built the barrel and they must now ride it to its inevitable conclusion. Unfortunately, they will never accept that they are not in in for the long haul, because they know that the country will be ungovernable under their rule as well as the fact that Kenya will lose all forward momentum and economic growth and go the way of North Korea forever shunned and vilified by the international community and struggling to meet the basic need of its people.........and their businesses will all but collapse leaving hundreds jobless and destitute and the ensuing multiplier effect leading to complete economic collapse of the economy.

As I said before I do not see into the future but rely on my mirror into the world, but if I was a pragmatic man in the shoes of the duo, Uhuru & Ruto, I would do what is best for my country but still be seen to be putting up a semblance of a fight so that my supporters remain convinced that I am in it for the long run and that I still retain my status as king maker but I would 'throw' the election.
Whether guilty or innocent after my trail with the ICC my stature as a nationalist would be on the upswing giving me a better chance at the highest office in the land once free of the shackles of the Hague.

My mirror has spoken!!

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Blood curdling mystery: The terrible truth

Road accident deaths dramatically increase whenever the country is about to go into a general election. Why? How can it NOT be linked to politics?

Driving along Mombasa road at night a few days ago was a blood curdling experience like no other I have had in recent times. Luckily the car I was in was being driven at a slow speed by a very sober and extra alert driver. Several times we had to leave the road completely and venture into the bushes to avoid colliding with an oncoming overtaking vehicle which usually happily speeded on as if nothing had happened.

To have a fighting chance of survival on Kenyan roads you need to drive not only for yourself but for all the other road users you encounter.

More than 3,000 people die every year in a most horrible way on our roads and Kenya is widely recognize as having the most dangerous roads in the world. Road accidents kill more people than tuberculosis and malaria. If you are terrified of death, forget about cancer or even being killed by gun totting thugs. Instead fear Kenyan roads and with good reason.

As tragic as all this is, it is really nothing new. This has been the situation in our banana republic for a very long time now. Some would say a reflection of our society, the arrogance and impunity rampant amongst us perhaps?

But why is it that deaths on our roads ALWAYS, ALWAYS increase dramatically just before we go into a general election? Examine all the statistics for as far back as you can go and you will always see that sharp hike just before we go to the polls.

Most of my dear readers are smart polished Kenyans who will never buy an old wife’s tale. They are so intelligent that they do not believe that witchcraft exists. It does not matter that history tells us that London had a very serious witchcraft problem early in the 19th century or that the good book also acknowledges the existence of this evil.

I am not here to convince you about anything against your will. But consider the following;

-    Assuming that it is true that many politicians running for political office visit witchdoctors who need human blood sacrifice to make potent charms…
-    Assuming that the most common way of getting this blood is to set “traps” on roads and cause accidents, the bloodier the better. The blood is then drunk by those blood-hungry spirits that release the power.
-    If all this is true then we as a country are in very serious trouble because there is a record number of elective posts up for grabs this time round. More than we have ever had before. Governors, senators as well as more MPs than ever before. Which means that the blood traps will increase in number and the result will be more deaths on our roads than we have ever seen in our history.

I have just realized that as hard as I try, I always have to write this stupid post every time there is a general election around the corner. See a similar post I penned in 2007.

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CORD's Raila Odinga Represents the Interest of Youth

By Michael Obare 

 In the heat of Coalition making towards the next general elections, Kenyans have been treated to a shocking lie by the Jubilee Coalition who, for populism's sake, have painted themselves youth and are eager to fool the country's younger generation that they are championing their cause.

Known retrogressive forces, conservatives and political tricksters have formed a united front to hoodwink Kenyan youth to vote them into power in March, so that they can re-launch bad governance, corruption and negative ethnicity; all practices that have in the past undermined youth empowerment in Kenya.

It is evidently clear that out of all the candidates in the presidential race this year; only Raila Odinga (CORD) represents the interest of the Kenyan youth.

The youth form almost 44% of the country’s population and they are the hope of our country. They thus deserve better. They deserve a progressive and honest government.

Towards the 2007 elections the ODM under the leadership of the Right Honorable Prime Minister Dr. Raila Odinga had prioritized youth empowerment in its manifesto. It was in recognition of the important role youths play in wealth creation and sustaining society.

The dream was frustrated after ODM and Raila failed to capture power in the 2007 elections. Because of the complexities of running the resultant coalition government, ODM has only been able to achieve some of the goals they had set in place. That was mainly because of the frustrations by the other coalition partners (PNU).

If elected to power in 2007, ODM had crafted policies that would ensure that the livelihood and welfare of the poorest and most vulnerable people were protected fully. A full-fledged ministry was to be established to supervise and coordinate the implementation.

In the Coalition deal under the Ministry of Gender, Children and Social Development, social assistance including cash transfers is being offered to orphans and vulnerable persons including those with disabilities and other vulnerable groups. The PM has strongly supported these programs despite heavy resistance.

ODM had also set out plans to enhance the role of micro-finance (MF) services which has been partly achieved through the establishment of the Youth Enterprise Fund and Women’s Empowerment Fund as well as the licensing of various MFI’s.

ODM had also pledged in 2007 to open job-seeker offices (employment Bureaux) in major cities and towns and this has been achieved through the reactivation of labour offices in all county headquarters.

Kenyan youths should now be able to determine who their real enemy is. Those who have been hell bent in frustrating the efforts of the Prime Minister in implementing that which is of benefit to the Kenyan youth are indeed our enemies.

Kenyans now have a new constitution whose major beneficiaries are the youth. It is the Prime Minister who campaigned for this constitution while these power hungry politicians now pretending to be pro-youth, the forces opposed to change and those who wanted to maintain the status quo vehemently opposed it.

It is these same backward forces who are now out to mutilate this constitution that Kenyans have fought for many years and lives even lost while the premier and his team of reformers are leading the battle to implement it to the letter. The new government that will be formed in 2013 under the leadership of Raila Odinga has sworn to protect, implement and defend the Constitution in spirit and letter.

In the new government in 2013 under Raila Odinga’s leadership, the youth will be involved in decision-making and planning of interventions that address their needs, there will be well-equipped vocational and entrepreneurial centers in each sub-county, promotion of working relationships between the private sector, educational institutions and non-state actors to provide opportunities for job placement, internships and apprenticeship to young college graduates as well as promotion of modern sports centres in each sub-county, to enable the development of sporting talent among the youth.

In addition, a Raila Odinga led government will mainstream physical education and sports as an examinable subject in the education system, set aside financial resources that will lead to the establishment of modern stadia and sports facilities in every county and the availability of world-class sports facilities at the national level.

His government will also facilitate the establishment of national sports academies for various sporting disciplines and the establishment of a sports policy and legislation unit to oversee the development of policies and guidelines targeting women, children and persons with disabilities, and to ensure proper management of sports institutions and associations.

In matters of health, a Raila Odinga led government will strengthen the implementation of policies and laws by ensuring the consolidation and inclusion of budget lines to support the health activities targeting the youth. It will also put in place measures in support of the development of health programmes that meet the needs of young people.

This is what sets the PM apart from his myopic competitors as a true champion of the reforms which the youths want badly. The youth should shun the jubilee opportunists.

The author is Director For Youth Affairs - Friends of Raila Lobby Group (FORA 2013)

Drama as Wanjiru’s Educational Qualifications are Rejected by Higher Education Commission

Kumekucha Exclusive
A large number of Kenyans have expressed interest to become pioneer governors in all the 47 counties. It is a new position, which many Kenyans are trying to come to terms with.

News reaching this blogger is that the ODM political strategy for Nairobi County has been thrown into a spin after the Commissioner of Higher Education declined to accept Hon Dr Margaret Wanjiru’s graduate qualifications.

According to the new constitutional demands, these, among others, are the qualifications required for individuals running for for election as a County Governor or Deputy County Governor:

A person is eligible for election as a governor if the person-
-Is a registered voter.
-Is the holder of a degree from a university that is recognised in Kenya
-Is either – nominated by a political party or an independent candidate supported by at least five hundred registered voters from the ward concerned.

According to JIAM sources, Hon. Bishop Dr. Margaret Wanjiru previously worked as a house girl, hawker, a toilet cleaner, car cleaner and office cleaner. On graduation from an unspecified college she earned herself a position as sales girl. The same sources indicate that the Bishop holds a Doctorate in Divinity excelling in the matters of religion, education and human sciences, and that she recently obtained a certificate on governance from Harvard University - USA.

The Bombshell

In letter dated 02/01/2013 , CHE/10/9/1/VOL.140, The Commission for Higher Education has refused to recognize, Hon Bishop Wanjiru's qualification.

In letter dated 31/12/2012,  Hon Dr Wanjiru wrote to the commission requesting that her Doctor of Theology awarded by Vineyard Harvester Bible College and Bachelor of Christian Leadership awarded by United Graduate College be recognized. The Commission replied that both colleges are not listed in the directories on higher education which includes the world higher education data base of 2012 a publication of UNESCO. Most importantly however, the purported worldwide accreditation Commission of Christian Education Institution( WWAC) that accredited the colleges is not listed by the US Department of Education.

Lastly and to add insult to injury, The Hon. Dr. Wanjiru supposedly only passed one subject (English literature -6) at O- level done at SMTPH Shah Secondary School, and managed grade 9 in all other subjects.

The commission in its last statement said that they will not be accountable for the authenticity of the certificates or the identity of the certificate holder presented for recognition.

These developments mean that the ODM cannot risk nominating Hon ‘Dr.’ Bishop Margaret Wanjiru either as governor or deputy county governor as she will most likely be rejected by the IEBC, and there will not be time to replace an ODM candidate once the deadline lapses. The Bishop may however, opt to run for Member of Parliament or as Women Representatives.

The other notable candidates running for ODM ticket in Nairobi Gubernatorial polls are former Mumias Sugar MD, Dr. Evans Kidero and former Town Clerk Philip Kisia.

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Fireworks Ahead: Kumekucha Awards for 2012

In keeping with this blog's tradition, we wrap up the eventful year 2012 with out annual Kumekucha Award. It has been a long journey started in 2005 unpacking all matters political in our motherland Kenya.

Kumekucha's singular is still anchored in the maxim of leaving no subject as a taboo. While the jury may still be navigating the rough seas, when they dock the verdict will no be resolute. This blog blazed the trail of political blogging and we owe it to founding bloggers some of whom have mutated or become inactive.

The heat is on as we usher in 2013, the year of the SNAKE. While the tongues of the ragging flame is threatening to consume us, the twin TOWER of BABELS (coalitions) will come and go leaving Kenya intact.

Starting with the sad news, the year 2012 witnessed massacre of over 40 police officers in Baragoi. That came hot in the heels Tana Massacre Phase one which was gruesomely followed by Phase two few days back. Many may see these as our five-year-cycle murder rituals. But you cannot fail to associate these with lack of true leadership from infront and by example.

That said, the sunset of 2012 sparked the political inferno with formation of two formidable coalitions. While the Jubilee coalition of the accused is still tottering in the brinks, thanks to son of Musa, CORD may well prove too sturdy to tow the other coalition to either nirvana or permanent retirement.

Back to Kumekucha, this blog continues to breathe political fire and brimstone just like when it was launched way back in 2005. Accolades are due to Chris for letting the political bile ooze in these pages, his occasional disappearing acts notwithstanding.

You have to be here to meet our one and only Mwarang'ethe. He comes loaded, spews his intellect with passion and leaves maany mesmerized as he retreats to enjoy. Mwarang'ethe's provocative posts are often enshrined in his fidelity to matters economy and history. His threaded quotes, philosophy and patented PASSION once again earns him top spot of Kumekucha awards.

Make no mistake, no blogger will escape the tongue-lashing of Kumekucha's e-cop. A founding blogger, Luka never tires to cater for the interests of numerous kids and nannies visiting this blog. Chris will not escape his anger with any explicit adult language or suggestive photos. He grabs the coveted vigilante ward.

Another founding blogger Phil may have gone mute in 2012 but he won't fail to occasionally mount his horse and ride it here. He must have developed thick skin to the brickbats he invites from his posts. For his tenacity, Phil bags the valuable (hide-and-seek) award.

The final KK award goes to all the numerous anonymous bloggers who are both the light and the spice of Kumekucha. Finally we the blog would be incomplete without the numerous anonymousness who often You may be faceless, but you set the agenda here with your insightful posts. You often come loaded with both tit bits and vitriol in equal measure. Kumekucha won't have asked for better spice.

The anonymousness may not know it. But your custom makes this blog a daily must-visit to many Kenyans around the globe who wants to feel their country political pulse. The diversity in your lot is exemplified by exported village bias albeit with a touch of sophistication. Hats off to the anonymouses as you receive the KK Wenyeji award.

So the race is set for 4 March 2013 and the heat is on. We lived through the 2007 near-Armageddon and told the story. 2013 promises even more fireworks. Well, book your front seat here at Kumekucha and brace yourselves for a political battle royale.

My utmost sypathy for the faint-hearted and PENSIONERS.

Kibaki's Legacy is a Fallacy

This week, PPS Published a 64-Page Special Supplement on Kibaki's 10 year legacy, while all major TV channels were airing hour long documentaries on the same, onstesibly to showcase the so called  achievements of President Kibaki's 10 years in office.


Few were convinced.

Lipstick on a pig doesn’t make the pig something else. A pig is a pig. Kibaki’s record is his record…a colossal failure to lead…failure to unite…failure to stabilize…and failure to progress. Only success at fleecing public resources…and entrenching institutionalized tribalism.

Tribalism, insecurity, runaway corruption, the Great Somali Migration into Kenya & terrorism, PEV, extrajudicial assassinations, drug and gun smuggling, the Artur brothers, a rogue police force, impunity, impunity, and impunity ain’t anything to write home about. This fella delayed Kenya’s takeoff by years. It’s a dark legacy. Even former Kibaki stalwart Martha Karua has rated impunity under Kibaki worse than the Moi era impunity – a very fair assessment!

This goes down in history as the only regime that opened its paramilitary barracks (& uniforms and guns) for PEV operations to kill its own citizens…blood-chilling things that Kenyans previously only read about regarding Idi Amin’s Uganda. Talking about lopsided development is an understatement regarding the Kibaki era.

If roads were built, they weren’t the priority roads for the nation (Msa-Malaba or Msa-Busia border). If donor funds were restored, most ended up in non-prosecuted corruption. If relations were established with the East, it only brought a flooding of cheap counterfeit goods into our market (with simultaneous smuggling of our exotic resources). Where FPE or AIDS fund were introduced, cash cows were established for connected bureaucrats. Every noble idea was hijacked by the mafia.

10 years under Kibaki saddled the country with hundreds of billions more in debt…for the Anglo Leasings, Ken Rens, and massive transfer of public wealth into the hands of a few greedy oligarchs (the Trans Century looters)…from our Railways, our Ports, Tana Land, Airport Land, Telecommunications, Grand Regency, Oil Refineries, and almost all other public entities….all skewed to Kibaki’s cronies and connected & corrupt foreign oligarchs.

These dirty deals leave outstanding debts that Kenyans and their children WILL BE paying into future…paying for the transfer of public wealth into the hands of a few well-connected thieves aka the Shetani crew (as per Uhuru).

That same enriched shetani crew is now diving the country politically, slicing and dividing voters, in readiness to perpetuate their stranglehold on the country’s resources. After robbing the poor of all their resources (public assets and land), their next agenda is to milk from the budding middle class.

Kibaki has deliberately timed his exit with yet another resounding warning to landlords who have worked so hard (sometimes in distant lands) to invest in real estate. The handpicked KRA boss (Njiraini) is now arm-twisting tenants (starting 2013) to issue personal details of their landlords for future assessment of more taxes – to be looted by the greedy lot. It’s not as if we are not already paying annual property taxes and land rates! The fraudster in Kibaki wants such misguided economic policies to be effected under the legacy of subsequent President…to justify his current massive borrowing under taxpayers name. Talk of an experienced thief!

Yet another of Kibaki’s dark legacy is the blurring of state matters with private financial concerns (ala the hanky-panky between Equity, CBA, Family Bank, Coop Bank & CBK), dalliances which depreciated the Kenya shilling massively. Illegal overnight borrowing from CBK’s discount window has minted a few Kibaki-crony billionaires.

Kibaki and friends at Equity Bank even get to collect Tourism revenues at Kenya’s biggest tourist attraction – Maasai Mara Park. Who the heck is going to know how much cash in reality came in, or how many tourist visitors checked in? They might as well report that no tourists came this year? Ama? These people think Kenyans are a bunch of idiots to be fooled and robbed from mercilessly without consequences. Mta do? That’s their attitude.

Right now as we speak, Uhuru Kenyatta’s banking concern, Commercial bank of Africa (CBA) has been parachuted a multi-billion shilling deal to be the official Shylock of ordinary Kenyans under a program disguised as – the MShwari savings and loan product (mooted along the MPESA model) – with collaboration with Safaricom. This 7.5% interest loan SHARK mooted under Kenyatta’s tenure as Finance Minister, will virtually wipe out SACCO societies.

Kenyatta wants to mop up all little change from struggling Kenyans using the State as business anchor. After all that is how they get all their businesses…all tied to the state one way or another…if not supplying VW Passats to the government, loaning Treasury at exorbitant profits, or hosting public bureaucrats in non-essential seminars at their five star resorts. Isn’t this the real reason why they won’t let go the Presidency and levers of State?

If not thinking how to fleece Treasury… its how to fleece unsuspecting investors (toxic stocks at NSE with crooked brokers stealing investor cash and getting away scot free)…fleecing investors of their life savings at Syokimau…or fleecing folks with pyramid schemes…and now Uhuru plotting to rob jua kali traders with his Mshwari toxic loan….This is one freaking rotten and distressing legacy….as has been the last Jubilee.. It has to give way!!!!!!