Detestable Stereotype Benefits Kibaki Big Time

I had a fascinating, “sizzling hot haircut” recently.

Before you read any further let me warn those of my readers with weak hearts that this is an adult post. And those very intellectual brothers of mine who do not like explicit posts like this please read no further. There are plenty of other nice intellectually stimulating sites out there that will keep all the stimulus above the shoulders. Those blogs are owned and written by chaps with much better manners than the crude Kumekucha.

Let me also add that I have realized that the old fearless Kumekucha did not fear to step on any toes. I liked the guy because he said it as it was, without fear or favour. I have no idea how the current self-censoring Kumekucha came into being but I don’t like him and this post is the first step in a concerted effort to get rid of him… hopefully for good.
The nice lass from Central province who gave Kumekucha a haircut looks very much like this…

So I was talking about this sizzling haircut I had recently. You see once in a while I go to this kinyozi situated in a constituency in Central province. I go there to hear what people are saying politically and the excuse I use is a haircut. It is a fairly decent Kinyozi I dare add especially when you consider where it is situated. The owner even has a solar back-up system so that if there is a power outage when only half your scalp is done, he can complete the job on solar power. Wow!!! And he does not charge 400 bob like the guys in town.

When I arrived the chap who usually shaves me was busy with another customer and like a true Kenyan, I don’t like waiting… for anything. And so I noticed this nice young lady (I had never seen her there before) giving a young boy a haircut. Actually she was just putting the final touches and before I knew it, she was free. Now, regular readers of this blog will know that I have great respect for women and the easiest way to get into a fight with me is to show disrespect when I am around.

I made the decision in a split second. Why not, I told myself. I settled down to receive the very first haircut I have ever had since I was born from a woman (who is not my mother). My, oh my!!!

One thing about women is that they pay much more attention to detail than men. Without being biased she did a much better job then any man has ever done. Even the 400 bob folks who hang their noses high in town don’t come anywhere near. Imagine those guys at that barber who talk so much politics have never massaged me with hot water after the haircut and so I assumed that they don’t have the facilities. This nice chic did!!

Now the down-side of having such a young girl give a normal red-blooded man a haircut is what I experienced and am about to share with you. Quite a few times her shapely breasts pressed against parts of my body.. Luckily I am a well behaved man in full control otherwise… sitasema!!!.

Then there were a few other times that she held my head gently to tilt to a certain angle so as to shear off the hair better. I am ashamed to say it but I experienced this tingling sensation. You know there are ways only a chic can hold you and no rough man’s hand can achieve the same thing.

Then worse of all there were times when as she leaned forward parts of her anatomy that I cannot dare mention here (brave as I think I am) pressed against me. It was accidental and I am sure she was not conscious. But the effect!!! Aiii!!! Folks I am only human and I like to tell the truth.

I have to admit that I enjoyed that haircut and my hair cannot grow fast enough for me to make a return trip to that Kinyozi. Eat your heart outs kumekuchans, I shall not mention the name of the Kinyozi or where exactly it is. And you know I can’t be bribed. So let’s just leave it at that.

That long hot story was told to illustrate the fact that it is very difficult to avoid stereotyping. From my experience at that Kinyozi the other day (the drama and sex innuendo aside) I am tempted to say that women are much better at jobs like giving a haircuts. And the reason is that they pay much more attention to detail. Men get bored easily and settle into routine much more quickly.

In my last post I realize that I rubbed quite a few of you the wrong side when I suggested that certain political decisions made by the Prime Minister were mistakes he would NOT have made was he not a Luo. Now I realize that stereotyping is detestable but the truth is that most Luos I have met are proud fellows who like to feel important. Including my late best friend called G. Admittedly I have met a few (very few) who are different. Most Kamba women I have met are crazy about sex and tend to be unfaithful in marriage. I have met very few who don’t fit into that pigeonhole. Perhaps two out of a total of well over two dozen women. I have also met very few Kikuyus who do not have a fondness for money that is beyond normal. Most Kisii men I have met have ended up being wife-beaters. Sad, but the truth. And I can go on and on.

Stereotypes are used by the wise to prepare themselves for the unknown. For example if you have an important client coming to your office who happens to be a Kamba man and you don’t know anything else about them, you will use your stereotype knowledge to impress the man and get the business. Hire some nice-looking but decent models to serve drinks and swagger across the room regularly during the meeting etc.

Folks I am convinced that one Emilio Mwai Kbaki used his stereotype knowledge of the Luo community to outfox and outwit one Raila Odinga. That is the truth. Hard to swallow? YES. A terrible thing to say? Absolutely. BUT it is the truth.

Now I know some of you will ask what I have started smoking. And I know that denying it will just be a waste of time. And so I will say, Yes I am smoking something. Uta-do? Expect even crazier posts from Kumekucha from now on.

You must have missed this other controversial Kumekucha post about sleeping arrangements.

I have a big PM’s motorcade, but do I say?

I have said it here before that I love to study the way decisions are made in the corridors of power. Now this constant study has led me to stumble on an astounding discovery. Take a deep breadth now…

The patterns in decision-making in the Raila court is looking more and more like what has happened in the past in the Kibaki court of indecision. Raila Odinga’s decision-making skills have been tested in the high-pressure office of Prime Minister and leader of the most popular political party in the country and they have been found wanting.
The clearest evidence of this is the recent drama and more so Raila Odinga’s decision yesterday to back down after the president rescinded his decision to “suspend” two cabinet minsiters. The first decision to create the crisis in the first place by “suspending” the two ministers, William Ruto and Sam Ongeri was ill-advised and showed that the party king-pins completely mis-read the mood of the Kenyan people and greatly underestimated the intelligence of the Kenyan press. The second decision to back down with a lame threat that errant ODM ministers will be dismissed was even worse. It has made the Prime Minister look so weak and the kind of man who loves to “play little games” at a time when the Kenyan people have had enough and are in no mood for political games. So the Prime Minister cannot even fire ministers from his own ODM side of the cabinet without consulting the president? And yet the president can clearly fire or “re-appoint” ministers from his own PNU wing of government without consulting the PM as he proved on Sunday? What a shame!! Then the two are definitely NOT equal partners are they? Folks lets quit the b***, Raila Odinga is nothing more than a senior prefect and the most he can do is announce that the headmaster is coming (and sometimes the headmaster doesn’t even turn up, remember the Mau tree-planting ceremony?). This is grossly unfair to Mr Odinga because when a man shares responsibility for what is happening in the country, he should surely share the authority to make decisions. As it is I have now absolved Raila from everything that is going wrong in the current government. The buck stops at Mwai Kibaki’s desk!!

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Living collective national lie
When will we stop cheating ourselves and be trutful for once? Here we are all pretending we do not know the problem with the coalition. The accord was and is about POWER sharing. The fact that ODM was conned into being co-opted as a paper tiger is no reason to give reality leave. PNU's interpretaton of NARA accord is that ODM has no power while (thanks to its volubility) ODM shares all blame for inactivity. Meanwhile all Kenyans play along with the scoundrels demanding good governance from ODM while feigning ignorance and outrage when things don't fall in place. Well, I guess it is no understatement to brand all kenyans shameless hypocrites. And you know what, we deserve all the theft and RAPE.

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But back to the subject of this post.

The reason why the latest decision by Odinga was a terrible mistake is because there are certain decisions once made, you don’t abort. You just can’t. It’s like a jumbo jet taxing down the runway for takeoff. There is point it reaches where take off cannot be aborted whatever happens (I think pilots call it the point of no return). Raila reached that point and then promptly aborted take-off. The result is tragic consequences for him and his passengers in the Jumbo jet. In this particular case tragic political consequences for him and ODM—the party that was.

You see the first thing about effective decision-making at the top is that you have be consistent and have clear objectives from the onset. That is exactly what Daniel “no university degree” arap Moi used to do. His politics aside, as a manager Moi was an effective manager. You see politics is fluid and if one is not careful you can quickly degenerate to a situation of running around in circles and getting absolutely nowhere.

When Raila took the decision to sign the national accord that formed the grand coalition government, what were his objectives? Have those objectives changed now? How so?

In my view Mr Odinga had a chance to make a quality decision that would have guaranteed his place as the fourth undisputed president of Kenya. Imagine what would have happened had he signed the agreement but nominated somebody from ODM to take his place and rule with Kibaki? Say Mudavadi or even better, Ruto? Remember what Jacob Zuma of South Africa did after successfully getting rid of Thambo Mbeki from the ANC? Zuma would have taken over right away as president on behalf of ANC. But he did not. He resisted the temptation.

Raila would have remained MP and a major decision-maker within ODM. Okay he would not have had a motorcade and all those people running after him. But I guarantee you he would have been a cult figure in the country by now.

Instead Raila Odinga’s initial decision was based on the fact that it is a curse of our Luo brothers that they always like to feel important. It has been said in Kenya for years that give a Luo man a big office and all the trappings of management-power and you can pay him peanuts. He won’t mind, you have a loyal manager for life. The poor chap will probably live off telling people in the bar about his “big office.”

Raila made the big mistake of being predictable to Kibaki and his chauvinistic Kikuyu court. A friend of mine and former supporter of Raila, put it very well when he told me; “The minute I saw that Raila motorcade I knew that Kibaki had outfoxed him.”

That first decision at the time of the signing of the national accord has led Raila to where he is now. Between a rock and a hard place. Amongst Raila’s objectives at the time was to concede a junior role in a coalition government for the sake of peace in the country while preparing himself for 2012. I am told that part of the deal was that he was assured PNU support in 2012. So in effect Raila had no business taking the decision he did on Valentine’s day. But since he did, he had absolutely no reason back-pedaling so soon. In effect he is now looking more and more like Mwai Kibaki in his first term. A decision-maker just putting out fires and running round in circles but with no clear direction.

Interestingly those surrounding the Prime Minister are displaying very similar characteristics. Take Miguna Miguna for instance. Is he a Canadian national or a Kenyan? Since Kenya does not allow dual citizenship (and he is still using his Canadian passport), this former Kenyan is technically a Canadian. Does he have a work permit? Or perhaps he wants to enjoy the benefits of his adopted home country, Canada and at the same time take away the very limited job opportunities his brothers have in Kenya. How fair is that? How patriotic is that?
Miguna Miguna (with cap), the Canadian national is pictured with "The Captain" and other Kenyans.

Take another example; Salim Lone. The on-and-off-and-on-again spin doctor of the Prime Minister. The last we heard was that Mr Lone had resigned. Now I see him back at the PM’s side. It seems that he too cannot make up his mind whether to leave the PM or to stay. Or is it that the man enjoys being seen rubbing shoulders with the high and mighty (cracking a joke for Uhuru Kenyatta as seen in a recent TV clip, and all) that he cannot bear NOT to be at the PM’s side no matter what!!!
Salim "on-and-off-and-on-again-spin doc of the PM" Lone

The good book says that a double-minded man gets nothing.

In any event we are the sum total of our decisions and the sums are totaling rather fast for one Raila Odinga, the right honoroable Prime Minister of the republic of Kenya.

Did you see...
Salim Lone denied this exclusive Kumekucha story about the time he fled Kenya.

No Meeting as Kibaki Call Raila, ODM's Bluff

Peddling the word crisis does not necessary create an image of one. And now those who have been carelessly and disrespectfully bandying words at Kibaki have found their match. Kibaki the shrewd politician has come out with all guns blazing and there is no place to hide. ODM and its hirelings are toasted.

First the President has categorically made clear it there is no CRISIS, real or imagined. All Kenyans must know who is in charge and make no mistake about it. Kibaki has reminded Kenyans once more of his signature tune and declaration that "corruption will now cease to be a way of life in Kenya". That tempo was set in 2002 and after more than 2000 days, the gestation period is over. Heads will and must roll now.

Make no mistake, Kibaki is held hostage by no corruption networks/sharks. For those doubting Kibaki's brand new resolve to eradicate corruption once and for all are yet to come to grip with his determination to clean Kenya and bequeath her new constitution as the template for his LEGACY. There is no bigger scandal than Anglo Leasing and Kibaki learnt his lessons hard and painful.

Woe unto those who said that rhetoric about corruption and good governance does not make an entertaining national circus. Well, hear and read for yourself from the horse's mouth lest you loose the gist and substance in translation:

"Dear Kenyans, first and foremost be reminded of the basics and know that I was duly elected (the PORK) and then signed NARA on behalf for GorKi.

I want to take this opportunity to outrightly dismiss careless and disrespectful suggestions that I have been SLEEPING and cannot CO-ORDINATE AND SUPERVISE affairs of state, leaving HOME AFFAIRS aside.

My cabinet has become even stronger. We now don’t tolerate GRAFT - anybody stealing from the citizens children freely will be dealt IMPUNITY, I will came out strongly to terminally rectify any attempt before it gets out of hand. My Government will move swiftly with bold, decisive and transparent steps to avoid a crisis as has been demonstrated recently.

We have opened our MARKETS and will continue to give away LABOUR, your thirst for work will be taken care off. First as a thank you to our partners doubling THE DOLE during this last EL NINO hunger compared to the normal seasonal HUNGER periods that we live with every year and second for the ROADS we receive that opens further our markets and RESOURCES to our brothers in the west and at an accelerating pace to the new brothers from the EAST.

Now you can see our new brothers in the deepest part of our former agricultural sacred lands prospecting for minerals. We are planning to open Mandarin classes in almost all villages so that it could help YOU SERVE them better.

Transportation is on the MEND, the railway will be soon moving again and be back ON THE TRACK after our very own HARD WORKING Kenyans took possession of it from the government, cleaned it of its land, “lazy employees” and other assets which it could not manage. They will be selling it back to wanainchi having been CLEANED through our thriving STOCK MARKET. We will now pick up the pace of PRIVATISATION as a means of RELIEVING wanainchi their burdens.

To the EDUCATED fleeing in droves to use their potential in the WEST, there are some who claim CORRUPTION AND NEPOTISM have REPLACED RELIGION in my Government, I Emilio can assure you those are things of my PAST, and as I promised when I was sworn in -”serikali ya ufisadi" will continue to provide the LEADERSHIP YOU HAVE BEEN USED TO.

My Government is even getting stronger as you see new members joining we strive to continue changing Kenya to our image even after I pass the torch of state to our very enthusiastic NEW YOUTHFUL LEADERSHIP.

With those few words let’s all stand up and join hands together singing kazi iendelee to the 65% unemployed. Thank you."

Political Chess: Spoiling for Ellusive Divorce

Traffic to this site has shot up dramatically and I am also reliably informed that newspapers in Kenya are selling like crazy over the last week or so since the dramatic events of Valentines day. But what do you expect when a deadly game of political chess is unfolding before our very eyes, whose outcome could easily bring back chaos to Kenya? There is no doubt that Kenyans are very concerned about what is really going on with the grand coalition government and the possible implications of that government going belly up on us.


ODM’s brilliant political maneuver whose objective was to position Raila Odinga as a champion fighter against corruption in sharp contrast to lethargic Mwai Kibaki was well executed but did not quite work according to plan. One of the things that went terribly wrong was that Kenyans were quickly able to read the real motives behind the actions of ODM’s Raila Odinga. That is NOT good because the first rule in these kinds of political games is that thou shall never show the fish the hook. I mean how do you expect fish to bite when they can clearly see the hook?

The fact that the press was able to swiftly read the political game plan here is clear testament to the fact that the Kenyan press has matured tremendously from the days of blindly reporting what the politicians say at press conferences and political rallies to deep and instant analysis of the dangerous cards being played under the table. The cards under the table are usually the real news.

The other thing that went wrong was that President Kibaki did not receive the strong rebuke from the Kenyan public blaming him for condoning corruption amongst his ministers. In fact Kenyans have completely ignored the big elephant in the room.

But what I find even more fascinating is the fact that opinion is divided over whether what Raila and ODM are doing is above board. Those from the old school are livid and are certain that forcing a general election is not very different from a military coup like the one Raila helped organize in 1982. Their argument is that anything that destabilizes the country is dangerous and certainly NOT acceptable. More so if there is the possibility of it resulting in blood-shed. The Prime Minister’s handlers seem to have taken note of this and the tone of recent statements from the deputy leader of the party and others seem to be designed to downplay the instability being caused. On the other end of the scale are Kenyans who believe that in competitive politics, anything goes as long as it is NOT illegal.

A so-called leaked confidential document from ODM that a reliable source supplied me with last night made for some very interesting reading. The document indicates that ODM are keen on forcing a general election not later than Feb 2011. My hunch is that the dossier is fake. But to produce such a document and convince people one always needs to mix facts and reliable intelligence with whatever it is you want to “plant” in the minds of the public. I am convinced that the consensus within ODM insiders is that Raila’s presidency can only succeed if early elections are called and the date they have in mind is not later than Feb 2011.

My personal view is that Raila Odinga’s best chance to be president has passed. The truth is that even if general elections were called today, the ODM captain will not ascend to the presidency. My position is that Raila Odinga will remain the best president Kenya never had. That is a very sad fact because the truth is that Mr Odinga won the 2007 general elections.

The dangerous thing here is that the PM and those close to him have still not sobered up from the heady support Raila got in 2007. One of the reasons for that support was a strong anti-Kibaki vote. Raila handlers seem oblivious of the fact that things will change dramatically when Kibaki is not a candidate. In fact if ODM strategists continue pushing their luck they could easily end up handing over the 4th presidency of Kenya to a nobody who will benefit enormously from a strong anti-ODM wave.

But what should really be of great concern to Kenyans is the whispered ‘foreign input’ in the attempted ODM coup of government. There are those whop believe that President Kibaki is not fit run government, especially at a dangerous time such as this when there are so many challenges facing the country. Simply put the ship called Kenya is in extremely rough waters and the only way she can have a fighting chance of steering through the danger is if the old, slow tired, lethargic captain is removed and a younger more alert one assumes command. It is whispered that many foreign governments with delicate interests in Kenya share this view and would be delighted to see a change at State house. It was not lost on close observers that major foreign powers issued carefully worded statements after the Valentine day events that seemed to lean in favour of Mr Odinga and the action he had taken against corruption in government.

Some naïve Kenyans think that the days of foreign powers sponsoring political changes in third world countries are over.

Lastly the way President Kibaki has handled this crisis has confirmed that those of his critics who say he is unfit to rule have a point. The effect would have been much better if he had done nothing on Valntine’s day and just kept his ministers in office. In any case he has no powers to retain William Ruto in office since Ruto is in government courtesy of Raila Odinga’s half of government. The powers the current president of Kenya has are such that the holder does not need to rush around issuing statements and trying to prove that they are powerful enough. That kind of action only makes them look weak and unsure of themselves and the authority they wield.

And so the deadly game of political chess continues. How will it end? Who will win? Even folks who recklessly like making predictions like this blogger cannot hazard a guess this time. Let’s just wait and see shall we? I will of course keep you posted.

The imminent resignation of William Ruto

Prime Minister Raila Odinga, Nominated MP & Rift Valley 'Governor' Musa Sirma and suspended Agriculture minister William Ruto

The Kibaki succession is about to claim its next victims. Kenya is suddenly too small to hide anywhere.

After a week of exciting political shadow boxing, the two principals are due to square-off face to face this Sunday.

Interesting political times lie ahead and I can already forecast that the cabinet tenures of William Ruto and Sam Ongeri are no longer tenable. Will they wait till Sunday or will they resign to pre-empt the inevitable?

The Prime Minister's unprecedented action to suspend two ministers accused of corruption over the weekend has produced the desired political effect.

First, the normally laid back and timid president was compelled to swiftly react to the suspensions and three days later, he is still issuing statements from State House to reassure the public and others that all is well in the coalition. Secondly, the suspension also triggered a flurry of political upheavals locally, seeing that both PNU and ODM National Executive Committees calling meetings. Religious leaders have not been left behind. Thirdly, the international and local media have become very excited and the story has been headline news for four days running. Fifthly, and perhaps most importantly, it has raised the profile of Raila Odinga among Kenyans and international development partners that he is indeed committed to fighting against grand corruption in Africa. Even the US State Department issued a statement urging the two partners to work together in order not to derail constitutional reforms or the fight against corruption. Powerful people may have made diplomatic phone calls between Nairobi and Tokyo.

Having said that, and speaking as a one with their ear on the ground, and unless a miracle happens, I do not think William Ruto will still be Agriculture minister by this time next week. Neither will Ongeri be Education minister by then. If they do not step aside for three months (which is what ODM wanted), then they most certainly will be reshuffled to other ministries (PNU’s preference). Whichever way it ends up, something must move, will it be the collapse of the coalition? I do not think so.

But what happens to Rift Valley’s self-proclaimed and proud Kingpin William Ruto? Will he take a transfer or a suspension or a sacking lying down? Unlikely. I do not think Ongeri has the political legs to resist anything but for William Ruto, it is a different story. Rather than step aside, William Ruto may step down as Minister, and follow that up with resigning from ODM.

Ruto is certain to want to show his political muscle and he may even resign his seat in ODM and quit the party before the president and the prime minister square off on Sunday. There are no official secrets in the GCG and it may even be that William Ruto has already been told to prepare for an exit and prepare himself for a soft landing. No other landing can be softer than dealing the ODM a body blow.

Ruto’s departure from ODM will mark the end of a very eventful marriage, but that is a story for next week. In case he defects, Ruto will necessitate a by-election in Eldoret North and he will most certainly be re-elected on UDM ticket. (Remember it is only the PM who has done this before, when he quit FORD-K for NDP in 1997). Ruto may want to shatter this record.

This will also mark the official launch of Ruto's presidential campaign, modeled along the lines of a similar campaign by Kalonzo Musyoka three years ago. Howerver, the big question remains: Is PNU honest with Ruto? Is PNU willing to nominate him back to the GCG cabinet? Who will be sacrificed for Ruto from among the PNU ministers? Perhaps Ali Mwakwere's loss of petition is god-sent for PNU. But then again, will Coast accept their docket to be given away? Will Ruto's political constituency, meaning supporters, local councillors, MPs want to defect en-mass with him, or will they bid their time until the parliament is dissolved?

In replacing William Ruto, ODM may choose to test the resolve of the William Ruto group by offering the Agriculture docket to someone like Isaac Ruto or Joshua Kutuny. Politics is a game of chess and a cabinet post in Kenya's government carries huge fringe benefits more so if it is the Agricultural docket which is the largest docket of those that ODM got in the power sharing arrangement. If a Ruto supporter accepts to be reappointed as Agriculture minister, and they are put on the campaign trail in Rift Valley, this will seriously complicate Ruto’s presidential campaign that has been largely hinged on galvanising ethnic support. ODM may even choose to move Ruto’s friend and comrade Najib Balala to the Agriculture docket and give Balala’s tourism docket to a Rift Valley politician like Musa Sirma. Semeni n’gweee?

To be continued............

Meanwhile, why is everyone talking about three months suspension. Why not two months or four months? Has this got anything to do with an earth shaking announcement from the ICC, expected to be made in the coming weeks?

Post written by Phil and posted by Chris for technical reasons.

Kibaki Leads from in Front, Declares No Crisis

Annan ni nani? Well, there must be ANNANMAGIC, just mention Kofi's name and things start moving or so it seems. Now this mongrel called dialogue has been invited to the top table on Sunday.

While all Kenyans get consumed with cheap politics, HE Kibaki has reminded those who care to listen that THERE IS NO CRISIS. President Kibaki has reminded all and sundry that his priorities remain fighting corruption (since 2003) expanding programmes to create jobs for the youth (since 2003) and singular focus to address the needs and improve the welfare of all Kenyans.

Above all else Kibaki has staked his glittering legacy on a new constitution. What more can you ask of a selfless leader? Speak of leading from in front and my example and that is Kibaki for you.

Grand Collision: Meeting Off, Political Heat Up

Updates: PC-PS transition
Meanwhile the predictable PC/DC-PS transition here we come: 75% of the new acting PS are ex-provincial administrators: Mondoh, Ndolo and Mr Kiritu Wamae. Smell a rat?

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Liver juggling must be such a difficult yet basic task! If somobody shadow boxing or seeing double? Well, a mirage is an apparent oasis to the thirsty.

Bring the heat on. NA BADO.

Inside story of valentine’s day drama and why Ongeri is so brave

I have it from two seperate authoritative sources that Sam Ongeri, spectacles steaming and brow sweating copiously, examined a badly injured Dr Robert Ouko at State House Nakuru and declared in a shaky voice that he needed urgent medical attention. Ongeri is a qualified medical doctor. It was at that very moment that Nicholas Biwott grabbed a gun and shot Ouko in the head. It is said that everybody present including the then president Moi froze in utter shock.

Prof Sam "watched Ouko being shot" Ongeri

Ongeri is said to have been as stiff as a Meru oak tree his eyes wide in terror at what transpired before his very eyes.

This single incident more than anything else during his long political career, must stand out in Prof Ongeri’s mind so much so that no crisis will be too big ever again in his life. Political or otherwise. Not after what went down on that eerie 13th day of February 1990. After all the cold-calculating-and-yet-cool-as-a-cucumber Biwott would have decided that he did not need Ongeri as a possible witness thus what befell virtually all Ouko murder witnesses would have happened to Ongeri. But he survived. One of the very few who did.

And that is why the huge scandal at Ongeri’s ministry of education has not shaken the good professor and calls for his resignation cannot have given him any sleepless nights. Not even his so-called sacking by the Prime Minister (later rescinded by the president) moved him. A confident Ongeri arrogantly told the press “I have not heard from the appointing authority.” And sure enough the President swiftly moved to quash the “suspension” or whatever you want to call it, very shortly after that.

To cut a long story short folks, there is nothing that you can show Ongeri that he has not seen in his life before? Do your worst if you must but what can you really do to scare the man who has seen it all?

That is the Ongeri attitude. That is how this man who sees himself as a Kisii warrior sees things. And Kisii warriors NEVER blink let alone get shocked.

But what the professor has failed to realize and tragically so is the fact that the old politics he is practicing will not work for long. Even as some of his supporters on the ground have started threatening Luo residents in Kisii with eviction notices (after the PM’s suspension order) many other folks from Kisii have distanced themselves from Ongeri and joined the rest of Kenyans in calling for his immediate resignation to pave way for investigations at his ministry. The same has happened in Eldoret and amongst the Kalenjin community some of whom have just had enough of the increasingly cocky agricultural minister William Ruto.

Folks, take it from me, it is just a matter of time before we see the backs of both Ongeri and Ruto for good. Sadly I fear that these two tribal chiefs will not go quietly and will do their utmost to stir trouble and possibly blood shed just to prove how popular they still are to those Kenyans still naïve enough to swallow such antics.

But there is a more fascinating tale behind the happenings of this past Valentine’s and the two most dramatic political events for a very long time.

The way the PM would have ordinarily handled the suspensions of Ruto and Ongeri would have been for him to drop Ruto (who belongs to his half of the cabinet) and then have the president issue a statement dropping Ongeri (who is an appointee of the PNU wing). Instead the PM issued a sweeping statement suspending both. Why?

Well it was all political chess, very well orchestrated by the PM (although it will backfire badly on him). Raila and his handlers knew that suspending both Ongeri and Ruto and pretending that he had the powers to do so would endear him to the Kenyan public and leave President Kibaki with very limited options. If Kibaki stayed mum as he usually does and left the suspensions to hold Raila would still be a hero and his image as a powerful PM would have greatly been enhanced. If the president quashed the action, it would be a clear indication that he supported corruption. So either way the PM would win. I am reliably informed that the PM gave his famous press conference shortly before boarding a plane for Japan on official government business. This was no coincidence. And neither was it a coincidence that the press conference was called on a sleepy Sunday afternoon. The idea was to delay a possible response from the president for as long as possible. To be honest I am rather surprised that the president responded that quickly. I was expecting the president’s men to stir on Monday morning at the earliest.

Some of my sources claim that Raila’s handlers are keen to force a constitutional crisis and thus early elections which would put the PM in prime position for the presidency. I am not sure about that. But what I do know is that the earlier elections are called from now, the better the chances of the PM. If we get to end of 2012, the PM’s chances will be virtually nil, the way things are going. Already with the Mau saga and this latest incident (where he sacked corrupt ministers only for Kibaki to re-instate them at least that is how ordinary Kenyans are looking at it) can be used as valuable political capital to support a Raila presidential bid but only if early elections were forced on Kenyans by a constitutional crisis of sorts. This kind of political capital cannot be refrigerated and does not last long.

Things are getting very, very interesting on the political front and it is anybody’s guess what will happen in the coming weeks and months.

Earlier Kumekucha article: How Biwott transferred assets after 2007

Checkmate: Deadly Strike From Stolen Thunder

Update
You are suspended, oh well, you are reinstated or is it, wait a minute! Who is calling who's bluff here? Watch out when you steal thunder lest you get struck by the same.

The hitherto docile by choice and design has been smoked out and is now hyper active. Somebody's face has been left plastered in egg york of sleaze.

What a great Valentine gift for Kenyans. Reg rose of another blossoming weed? Take your pick.

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Intrigue is a word used and abused in equal measure. This time last week it was Raila straddling the higher moral ground admonishing Education Minister Ongeri in public to resign. Come Tuesday and the bombshell that is PWC audit report of teh maize scandal was dropped right at his feet.

Checkmate! What a smart timing to neuter Agwambo. But his hitherto zeal to mount the high moral must have been shaken to the core. PWC's report laid culpability right inside Raila's nest by naming his PS and top aide. His answer on Wednesday to a press which had smelt blood was both half-hearted and unconvincing. From nobody is sacred to defending 'innocent' civil servants. So where do you draw the line?

Now we know Tinga had to salvage what was left of his name and integrity by giving his two top subordinates ultimatum to step aside latest Saturday to allow speedy and impartial investigation. And step a side Ishahakia and Karoli did. So what next for the prime minister?

Well, at least his move has forced the president to act albeit belatedly in ordering PS education and his comrades in graft to step aside too. Call it security in number if you wish but at least the ball left the court flying even if on extra time. Ogneri's fightback would have sounded bell to the PM, or didn't gongs go off?

You cannot fail to see the gerrymandering behind the calculated procrastination. Either two against two made sense to act or this was just another attempt to create an impression of motion without commensurate movement. Just read in between thelines and see the full plot. Raila received the PWC on December 22 and his adversaries were waiting for the ripe time to hit hard where it hurts most. And he inadvertently supplied a sturdy and reliable rope.

Kenyans will read what they want in all the political heat but the truth remains, corruption is deep-rooted in our system and there is political will to even pretend to root it out.

Mandela: 20 Years on vs Gaddafi's 40 Years

How time flies? Twenty years ago today Nelson Mandela walked out of prison a free man to lead South Africa into a vibrant democracy. And just 15 years since he left South Africa is speedily joining the rest of Africa in free fall and poor leadership.
So what went wrong after Mandela?

Millions of South Africans will readily point a finger to Mbeki, Mandela’s successor, the embodiment of their failure. Well, it is cheap to point fingers and even the populist JZ is coming to grips with reality that the presidency is no license to plant wild oats with daughters of all your comrades.

The steady fall of South Africa as a template for Africa’s renaissance leaves plenty of questions than it answers. Or may be Mandela knew something we did not by being the anti-thesis of African strong men when he consciously and deliberately relinquished power to Mbeki. Better still, Madiba saw it coming and chickened out to spruce his saintly name.


The strong headed Mbeki may have blighted Mandela’s legacy, but the randy Zuma is taking the cultural joke too far by taking spitting this auspicious anniversary with his scheduled state of the nation address. Mandela thrived and lived on optimism, Zuma prides in abusing that virtue.

May be all an African country needs is a Gaddafi and not Mandela. Just look at how generous and prosperous Libya is and the determination of its leader over the last 40 years to stand up for Africa. Forget the betrayal he suffered in Ethiopia at the hand off other presidents last week.

Gaddafi Betrayed
How can they be so ungrateful these African leaders? After benefiting from Libya's generosity they dare refuse to grant leader Gaddafi another term as AU chair. With that single act of selfishness the leaders have snatched the authority and audacity with which Gaddafi has been taking on the mighty on our behalf.

True to his King of Kings title, Gaddafoi did not leave the arena without a fight. During a midnight press conference, he took no hostages and declared that his eyes are now trained on leading the Arab League.

Gaddafi only wanted what he invested in after financing the broke AU for years. But the African leaders had other ideas after enjoying his generous inducements. And Gaddafi pulled no stops to remind them that AU without him is dead and he regretted having served such a thankless lot.

The African continent remain the poor with Gaddafi's exit. This is one Pan-Africanist whose passion and dedication to see through US of Africa is unparalleled. What is more, he should know better now that he is rightfully the longest serving president in the whole world.

Africa has lost heavily by refusing to extend Gaddafi's term. His vision to empower the continent's village and tribal elders was not only unique but also historic. Together with Venezuela's Hugo Chavez, Gaddafi is the face of modern leadership.

Look at Libya and the business expansion from Tripoli right at the heart of Nairobi. Former Grand Regency and Oilibya are case studies of brother helping a brother in need.

No wonder Gaddafi wasted no time to remind us of the true leaders of yore like Said Bare and Mobutu Seseseko. Somali and Zaire have knows no peace since the death of these gallant sons of Africa. Moi couldn't have agreed more.

Africa would be better advised to model their future around the realistic ethos of Gadaffi and stop living the utopian Mandela dream.

Raila: Kenya’s Most Loved, Loathed Politician

By Philip and Anon
Yes you read it right, RAILA! See, reading that name has already sent your fingers itching to hit the keyboard with expletives or praise even before reading the first sentence.

Call it blasphemy if you wish but please decipher the figurative speech. Raila is to Kenyan politics what Jesus is to Christian churches - divisive and/or uniting. Granted, Raila is synonymous with our politics for the last many years and no discussion on Kenyan politics is complete without numerous references to the PM, both good and bad.

The late VP Michael Kijana Wamalwa aptly captured it by politically categorizing Kenyans either as Railamaniacs or Railaphobics.

The next 30 months before the next general election in 2012 will witness more political heat with Raila either stroking it or getting consumed by the same flames. Picture this, imagine the furnace with a sitting president and a former one leading the onslaught on Raila with a supporting cast of the present VP, Finance and Agriculture Ministers.

If an alien were to land on earth and log here onto Kumekucha, they would be left wondering who is this man called Raila? So who is Raila? Is he a demi-god? A witchcraft practitioner? A dictator? Is he an Obama in the making? Is he a nationalist? Is he a Hitler in Mandela's skin. Surely who is this man called RAILA?

Well, Raila may as well be all those things listed above and more.

Is he a demi-god ? Yes to all the intelligent poor kids who don’t have access to education when money is being stolen and the Mafioso’s kids are sent abroad and some are tutored privately with the stolen money. They just want a decent shot at life like everybody else.

Does he use witchcraft? Yes to those that is used to impunity and fighting feverishly to preserve that evil because they never thought the spotlight will ever shine on them. It’s perplexing to them that things can change so fast.

Is he an Obama in the making? That is yet to be seen, but HOPE you can bet your last Kenyan coin that he gives thousands, if not millions of down trodden Kenyans.

Is he a dictator? Yes, to those who think they own Kenya and never thought things would be different, Dictating on behalf of Kenyans, enough is enough of empty talk and commissions whose reports don’t see the light of day. Enough is enough of using poor Kenyans to protect personal interest and crying wolf and ”dictatorship" when your dirty laundry is exposed for all to see.

Is he a nationalist? Flash back to "Not yet Uhuru" to mainstreaming Majimbo today. The name Odinga is synonymous to National struggle.

Is he a Hitler in Mandela's skin? If we need a “Hitler” so that national resources can be distributed to the most deserving and will benefit from it, nipe Nyundo anytime. It is high time we have a "Hitler" to break the backs of all these "locally-born foreigners" who have been suffocating wenye inchi with smoke screens while stealing resources and murdering poor people who dare to protest.

He is all of the above and he does them with finesse - hardball or softball - take your pick. Yes, Raila is the enigma of Kenyan politics. Bring them on.

Mwakwere Dismissed, Bring Back Michuki

Mwakwere's loss of his parliamentary seat via petition could be a blessing in disguise for Kenya. Now Kibaki can bring back Michuki to head the Transport ministry and restore sanity.

At least the popular demand to have Michuki back at transport has less political fallout than the heat at education. But again, Kibaki is one ruler immune to public wishes, or is he?

But the petition's success has once again exposed the rot that was ECK. But again they both rigged and so the whole lot should be illegitimate. This election petition thing needs to be urgently addressed since almost 1000 days after polls is no justice at all.

Which leaves you asking weather losers should be made to pay back what they earned while on the job. Democracy must be so expensive.

Raila’s Popularity in Central: Fact or Fiction?

Why is the proposed PM’s working trip to Central province creating an uproar? Why is the DPM suddenly eager to meet councillors from Central and parts of Rift Valley in an all-expenses-paid trip to Thika?

The ground in most parts of the country has moved. Old order politicians are slowly being edged out.

We saw it happen in Rift Valley in 2007, and it is now officially happening in Central Province. Up to four million votes, and upwards of 50 parliamentary seats, will be up for grabs in former PNU strongholds. The Central Kenya voter is already making his/her surprise choice known.

The amazing political goings on in Central Province have even been vindicated by the latest Synovate (Steadman) opinion poll. In their report released just last month, Synovate places the PM at 17% against DPM’s 15% in Central Province in terms of preferred presidential candidates. Even as political focus moves from Mau Water Tower in Rift Valley where a plot to paint the PM as an aggressor aborted, an interesting battle is shaping up in Central especially since it emerged the PM has identified the vote rich Muranga District as a launch pad for action oriented development and political forays into Central Province.

No one individual can currently be said to have total political grip on any province when it comes to elections. The most apparent of all is Central Province which is surprisingly emerging as the province that will make or break the next president of Kenya.

To add insult to injury, the DPM continues to hang on by a thread to an imaginary front run of the Central Province political leadership; a thread mostly held out by the likes of Simon Mbugua and Jamleck Kamau. Meanwhile, no scientific evidence has ever been tabled that the DPM is the automatic political leader of Central Province and neither are there any guarantees that Central Kenya will fall for the usual ethnic driven and short sighted politics.

In the meantime, the prime minister appears to be overwhelmed to accommodate tens of Central Province grassrooters, professionals and business leaders who are itching to pay courtesy calls and place invitations to visit them back home. Some of them believe he is the only leader who cares to resolve problems affecting the common man. The grapevine has it the PM has convinced influential Agikuyu elders and is now working on building a corruption free team of pointmen that includes individuals like Peter Kenneth and John Githongo. An endorsement is also expected from Nobel Laureate Prof. Wangari Maathai.

Interestingly, a petty cold war is being fought at Treasury Building where both the PM and one his DPM’s share the same office block. When Central Kenya delegations are visiting the PM in droves, one cannot help imagine a situation where these delegations from the DPM’s supposed stronghold meet with the DPM in the lifts, which then passes the KANU Chairman’s office to be ushered into PM’s conference room higher up. The same thing repeats itself on their way out. Boy! If only we could move the entire Treasury to some other place!

The latest development paints a remarkable turnaround of fortunes for the Prime Minister who in 2007 only managed a paltry 1.9% of the presidential vote against the incumbent’s 97%. During the same polls the Vice President managed a face-saving 0.7%.

Clearly, the Overton window has shifted and voter will no longer be used like sufurias that are only remembered when hunger sets in.

Although many had predicted the demise of certain causes following the 2007 disputed polls, most Kenyans appear to be ready to vote without regard to ethnic origins or ethnic alliances.

Media Must Let Muhoho Modernize Airports

What is all these obsession with age? The media is all over crucifying Muhoho oblivious of the fact that fellow octogenarians PSs Mutahi and Nyoike are doing just fine. Grey hair if synonymous with wisdom alloyed with the right genes.

Kenyans never cease to amaze. Their penchant to witch hunt the really industrious and competent is legendary. Now the press wants to hound CEO Muhoho out of office before his term expires. What a disgrace to pay somebody who has turned the hitherto sleeping KAA into a profitable institution.

The press must give the KAA board the freedom to appoint the MD after the President did his constitutional part in appointing ex-Runyenjes MP Wambora chairman. Muhoho is no ordinary Joe, just ask Engineer Erastus Mwongera who thought he had the gravitas to take him head on.

True, Muhoho has served two mandatory terms plus a 12-month extension but he must be allowed to manage his succession given the capital investment KAA has initiated. You only entrust such heavy investment to upstarts at the nation's collective peril. The astute economist in the President cannot and won't allow that to happen.

Reign of octogenarians
Father Muhoho may be 72 years only but he is less than 30,000 days old. What is more, his short third term has witnessed phenomenon growth with Kisumu Airport destined to be upgraded to international status in addition to constructing Isiolo Airport to decongest JKIA and open up northern Kenya for prosperity.

We owe it to Muhoho that he helped whisk the notorious Artur brothers out of our borders. What more do we need from such a person with a passion to preserve national security? All the flack directed at him can only be traced to his his filial and royal relationship with President Kibaki. Leaves you asking whether an ex-priest cannot remain faithful to his flock?

The press better direct their tirades elsewhere instead of detracting Mzee Muhoho from his pet projects that will see JKIA join the league of world's leading Airports.

For Pete's sake, we don't eat politics. The press must desist from attacking the president via proxy. Washindwe!

PM Raila Fights for Mourinho's Mariga

Update 2: Raila in the mix
The PM has announced that he successfully pushed for Mariga's case but unfortunately he secured the work permit after the transfer deadline. If that is true then Mariga can join an English Premier League club in the next transfer window this summer. But with a four-year deal at San Siro under the tutelage of the special one, Mariga may have bagged more than he prayed for.

Raila stated he spent more than 200 minutes on phone talking to UK PM Gordon Brown's office, the Africa Office, office of Culture and Sports, the Home office, the FA president Lord Treisman and to Mariga himself. Was he trying to rig or just doing what he had to do? Well, out there rules are rules and they are bent for nobody no matter your social standing.

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Update 1
And Mariga has landed at Inter Milan in the capable hands of the special one, Jose Mourinho. Just when the English Premier League thought they have done him in by denying him work permit to play for Manchester City, Mariga has landed even a bigger trophy guaranteeing him Champions League in two weeks time. Now being Eto's teammate must be living the dream. Well, fate and fortune only smiles on the face of the deserving. Go Mariga go, you have hit the ceiling of Kenyan football history.

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Kenya's McDonald Mariga has been denied work permit to play for Manchester City in the Premier League. While Mariga passed FA's criteria for appearing in 75% of internationals in the last two years (with his 24 caps for Kenya), his work permit application was rejected because Kenya is ranked 98th in Fifa's world rankings, outside the top 70 nations.

Manchester City's management have failed in their appeal to have the verdict overturned about the 22-year-old. The Kenyan press must have celebrated too early even before the goal hit the net. Now you can imagine the family's heartache after such irresponsible exposure.

Granted rules are rules and unlike us, civilized nations live by them and won't bent them no matter what. But the whole decision leaves a very sour taste in one's mouth. It is the individual who plays and not the country. Mariga's fate is akin to being erroneously declared incompetent by association and birth not his capabilities.

This is such a sad fate for the Kenya's would-be record breaker in the world of football. But take heart young Mariga, your star has been recognized and no bushel will succeed in dimming it. At 22, it is only a matter of when and not if you live your dream, North West or elsewhere.

Lukeconomics: It is Your Fault to be Poor.....

.........in today's Kenya.

Read that post title again slowly this time. let it sink it.
Thank heavens we're now back to 4.5% economic growth but the question you must ask yourself is if you couldn't make money when the economy was 7% in 2007,what hope do you have at 4.5% in 2010?

Too many Kenyans spend too much time endlessly politiking,rushing to leave "comments" here on Kumekucha in the name of airing their opinions and seeking the political kingdom.During the few seconds it takes to angrily e-bang those keyboards you could have been harvesting off the rains pounding the country in Flash floods in Narok and plant maize with the new variety hybrid seeds introduced by the forward thinking minister for Agriculture.Farmers across the land are reaping bumper harvests and spending it all in one night in a bar while we are busy with endless "domo domo"

PRESIDENTIAL SECRETS
When will kenyans change their mentality from always politiking? learn the economist President Kibaki's secret:1%politics+99%money=success. See even how Post poll chaos commissions are raking in billions of fortune in shillings even as they seek so called Truth and Justice on behalf of Kenyans-why can't you do the same? PSC conducted expensive week long retreat at your expense to give us a constitution that could simply have been amended in Moi days. meanwhile you are busy saying "naomba serikali" Epuka tafadhali

It's your fault if you're poor in Kenya today. See young McDonald Maringa is earning mega bucks millions each week shrewdly kicking a piece of leather across the grass in Manchester-you think he begun that way?Drive with me to Muthurwa and see the humble "juniors" playing "mpira wa juala" in the open playing fields city council has refused to develop.That's how it starts-what are you doing still tarmacking in the name of joblessness?Kick something fool

EASY MONEY
Kenya is a great country you don't even need a job just invite tourist to look at natural landscape and pay you. you can even stand in your birthday suit as they pet the elephants across your fence.Even here at Kumekucha the blog is earning money while you read-Google ad sense is making Chris smile widely with post-molars showing at the back of his mouth.politics and money

Forget about seeking "justice"-this is Kenya just make money anyhow and you will soon be smiling with all the rest of us. the new constitution will not add ugali to your table or will it?so why do you want to be a footsoldier all the rest of your life for a politician who doesn't even know your name let alone care you exist?how comes the "new" constitution does not address job creation and getting rich?

FOLLOW THE LEADERS
Equity bank and Nakumatt holdings head honchos are among top 50 emerging new business leaders world wide-wacheni wivu please. Never mind nay sayers shouting about domination of business and government by ONE particular tribe-watch Citizen TV Sunday live every Sunday night to see who really "owns Kenya"-how comes no one is complaining of Kenyan Asians dominating the economy owning half of all companies in Kenya?

Forget the naysayers ati "Birates" of Somali are making a fortune dangerously guarding the waters of their coast and pushing up the local housing market. Let's come to our senses. 2012 is almost here.Like Jimmy Kibaki's Simama Kenya ask yourself-je wewe mwenywe umesimama aje?hebu simama before the economy hits 10% for vision 2030 and you're still broke.
A word to the wise is enough-WACHENI MPANGO WA POLITICS BILA PESA

Interesting presidential race already shaping up

The man having a word with George Saitoti (Peter Kenneth) wants to be your president.

One of the things I like best about the American system is how quickly pretenders to the presidency get eliminated out of the race. Alas, back home in Kenya they remain in the ballot to the very last minute some struggling to get a mere 100 votes countrywide. The good thing about the proposed new constitution for Kenya is that it means that a run off is inevitable between the top two candidates so as to enable them garner the 50% plus one majority required for one to be declared president.

Still having said that, there are some rather fascinating developments in the 2012 race for the presidency. Clearly what we are going to see is a struggle between the old and the new order of things. The old will be represented by the usual suspects, Raila Odinga, Kalonzo Musyoka, Martha Karua, Uhuru Kenyatta and William Ruto (if they escape Hague) etc. The new will have the kind of names that may cause you to laugh today. Eugene Wamalwa, Peter Kenneth, Mwalimu Mati etc. Yep, you may laugh now, but as the polls near one thing I am sure of is that tables will be turned and people will be laughing at the old order and wondering what the hell they will be doing using the same old tricks and tactics to try and land in State House when they should be trading good-old-evil-days stories with Daniel Moi and Mwai Kibaki at some goat eating party deep in the rural areas. Kenyans are clearly screaming for a brand new beginning. In fact I dare predict that the number of votes the old folks will get this time round will shock people in terms of how few they will be.

It may not be evident now but closer to the presidential elections you may want to ask yourself what people like Kalonzo Musyoka and Raila Odinga are doing running for the presidency when a brand new dawn and beginning is beckoning for the nation. I am still waiting to see the servant leadership that Kalonzo was talking about during his campaigns for the presidency in 2007. Surely he should have shown us something as VP that would convince us that he was serious. Raila Odinga is no better because every day he sounds more and more like Moi and behaves very much like the dictatorial and firm ruler who straddled the Kenyan political landscape for 24 long years. Interestingly I now see the Raila camp falling for the very same opinion polls that cheated Kalonzo Musyoka that he was popular enough to make a decent stab at the presidency in 2007. My sincere apologies to Raila and Kalonzo worshipers but let us wait and see, shall we?

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t see any presidential potential in the likes of Eugene Wamalwa and Peter Kenneth. But what I like about what they are doing is that it will provoke the candidature other new entrants into politics with true leadership potential.

A Kumekucha classic from the past: My encounter with Lucy Kibaki

P.S. One of the ways of checking the powers of the presidency that the COE and parliament may want to look at is to reduce the presidential term from 5 years to 4 years. Four years is long enough to bring positive changes but not nearly long enough to establish an effective self-serving power base. There are many advantages to having a short time as the most powerful man in Kenya including the fact that you remain very focused on what you were elected to do. A president of a country with so many nagging problems like Kenya has no business sleeping for 8 hours let alone 16 hours like one Emilio regularly does. 4 years means that the guy has to stay awake longer to maximize on their short time in power and if they do a good job they can then get elected for another 4 short years.

P.S. 2 My weekend special resumes next weekend. I will announce the hot topic I plan to tackle in the course of the week.

The First Principle in Drafting a Constitution

By Mwarang'ethe

Everyone is crying out for peace, none is crying out for justice (Peter Tosh)

Almost all Kenyans fervently believe that, the executive branch of the Kenyan government is the root cause of the miseries in our land. Most Kenyans are sincere in this believe. But, the few who originate and propagate the idea, it is a necessary illusion to remove risk from democracy. We deny and reject with unmitigated contempt this believe because it ignores the FIRST PRINCIPLE of constituting a just and peaceful society that must guide drafting of a constitution. Those few who originate and propagating this idea, do so as to continue throwing sand into the eyes of mankind so as to shield them from seeing the self evident truth. They continue to do so in their monstrous but, failing expectation of finding a very huge fund of gullibility in today’s men.

Let the reader bear in mind the following Kenyan prayer/anthem:

O God of all creation
Bless this our land and nation
Justice be our shield and defender
May we dwell in unity
Peace and liberty
Plenty be found within our border

In denouncing these vulgar falsehoods, we assert that, our miseries stem not from failures of the executive, but, from the gross violation of the FIRST PRINCIPLE in our constitution that must be adhered to in constituting a just and peaceful society. This first principle flows from the command of the Creator whom we call upon in the above prayer. It is this. In the Genesis 3:19, the Almighty and Eternal God, declare that, "In the sweat of your face you shall eat bread." In this, God the Almighty has declared the Natural Law that, industry, intelligence and thrift shall be rewarded with wealth and idleness, indolence, ignorance and imprudence by destitution.

What this means is this. Without intervention of any law, agreement or contract between individuals as to what shall belong to each, Nature produces in each the notion of individuality, which extends to ownership, thereby, bestowing on each person and exclusively that which he produces or creates. Thus, before any man made law, Nature begets to all men the law an expectation that he shall be able to enjoy what he produces in commensurate to labour and skills he employs. This is the law or the first principle of NATURAL RIGHT TO PROPERTY that must be adhered to in constituting a just society.

Flowing from the above, it follows and must follow that the MAIN question in drafting a constitution is not the executive or the so called representation, but, this. Does the Constitution as drafted ensure that, the government to be constituted shall be for no other purpose, but, to guarantee the enjoyment of natural right to property? In other words, is it the sole objective of the government to be constituted to recognise, guarantee and protect the NATURAL relationship between labour and its produce? If not, haven’t such a law violated the corollary principle and Divine law that, thou shall not steal? And, if we have enshrined robbery in our supreme law, haven’t we done violence to justice that we invoke as our shield and defender? And, if justice which should be our shield and defender is dispensed with violently, haven’t we then, relinquished that which must come first before we can dwell in unity, peace and liberty? Finally, having casually relinquished the right to live in unity, peace and liberty, on what basis can we pray to the Creator for plenty within our borders?

Believing the above to be true, let the reader bear this in mind. By the Natural law, no man has or shall ever willingly shoulder the curse of his brother that he can only eat bread from his sweat of his brow. It is from this Natural Law; man has and will forever resist any attempt to burden him with his brother's curse. It follows therefore, that, so as to fasten his curse on the resisting brother, the man running away from his curse, retorts to oppression. Therein, we see that the attempt by man to run away from his curse, that he shall eat his bread from his own sweat, is the root cause of all kinds of oppression devised by man against his fellow man and the attendant slavery, ignorance, poverty, discord and misery that continues to inflict our society. In short, our ability to live in unity, peace, liberty and plenty is totally and absolutely dependent upon the preservation of natural rules of appropriation.

Let us now recall briefly, the Kenyan history. When the barbarians who knew no art or trade but plunder, calling themselves silly and blasphemous names like lord Delamere arrived on our shores, the first thing they did was to appropriate our soil by the means of the sword. To prevent Africans from challenging their barbaric acts, though legal means, their lawyers who look at words like a usurer looks at money, came up with the monstrous doctrine that, public international law could only apply only to “civilised” states. Since Africans were not “civilised” to constitute a state, this law did not apply to them. With such a devilish fiction concocted by European lawyers, the fate of African soil was sealed. Interestingly, this monstrous doctrine is still propagandised to international lawyers even today, but, without the historical context of its bloody origin. However, to protect their corporate tyrannies i.e. private powers in the name of multinationals which James Madison warned will eventually demolish the experiment in democratic government by becoming “at once its tools and its tyrants,” these monstrous absurdities and unintelligent fictions are over looked. What a miserable contradiction in the name of law?

This is the key point. By appropriating our soil, they effectively reduced Africans into slaves because whoever appropriates the soil, must as the night follows the day, pocket the surplus produced by those who must labour in agriculture and manufacturing in accordance with law of rent. In other words, to appropriate land means to claim everything that must be made using its help. In simple words, those who sweat can only pocket only a small piece of the bread that is just necessary to ensure bare survival. The bigger part of the bread they bake with their blood and sweat is thereby, pocketed by those who appropriated land, but, who do not sweat. Hereby, we now see that, this LEGAL/ARTIFICIAL RIGHT TO PROPERTY which grows not from natural causes, but, by the law of fraud or what men in wigs call the law of the land is founded on the negation of the first principle of a just and peaceful society, i.e. the NATURAL RIGHT TO PROPERTY.

Having appropriated our soil, they did not sheath their sword. Still dripping with the blood of the innocent, they kept it on their hands and proceeded to engrave the law for the conquered and vanquished. As anyone knows, these first law makers and their descendants had one thing in their mind. To preserve in perpetuity the power and privilege so established. Thus, we have a law founded on oppression, upheld by force and fraud, and intended solely to preserve ill gotten power and ill gotten wealth, i.e. land so as to maintain dominion of the soil by the aristocracy so as to perpetuate slavery, ignorance and poverty.

However, since the natural right to property is ingrained in the heart of all men by their Creator, whenever this right is violated, they revolt. It was revolt against the appropriation of wealth of those who labour by those who are idle contrary to the Divine Law, i.e. negation of the first principle, which is implanted in the hearts of all men that drove Kenyans to fight to be free. Here is another key point to note. It is the origin and meaning of constitutions. Since the governing and legislating class have throughout history, sought to annihilate the first principle of society, i.e. the natural right to property as in the case of slavery, in the case of colonialism and apartheid the victims of this robbery, have always sought to guarantee against such violation via constitutions. Thus, the constitutions are not and cannot confer any rights. Their purposes are twofold. Firstly, to affirm previously violated natural rights of man. Secondly, to be a testimony to the future generations of how law makers have sought throughout history to annihilate natural rights of man and thereby, call for eternal vigilance.

Unfortunately, when we gained independence, all that changed was the colour of the law makers. The principles of oppression and plunder were left as the foundation of our political and legal edifice. Consequently, it is this unjust appropriation of wealth after the so called independence that has been the source of revolt ever since. Thus, the objective of a new constitutional order was and should be the re-introduction and affirmation of the first principle of constituting a just and peaceful society.

Unfortunately, what should have been about recovering the natural relations between labour and rewards, has been turned into matters of preservation of power by the law makers in the name of executive and so called people’s representation. It is because of these frustrations we have witnessed the unprecedented bloodshed in Kenya of late. Sadly, when men revolt without understanding fully the source injustice they feel in their hearts, they revolt in a manner that harms themselves and others in their blind efforts to correct the great injustice.

It is from this view; the violence among Kenyans and the government response we have seen of late in Kenya must be understood. So as to maintain order in a society where men are revolting against unjust appropriation of their sweat, the government retorts to barbaric means to combat the lawlessness. Unfortunately, such police measures as we have witnessed against Sabaot “rebels” and Mungiki guarantee one thing. More massacres by the police and the military of both the active participants and the innocent bystanders. All this, leaves a society drenched in blood while retarding its moral, social, economic and political developments. This goes on until the final breakdown. Kenya has now entered this vicious cycle and it seems appropriate to warn that this new constitution may be the last trumpet. If it does not address this first principle meaningfully and comprehensively, all other “reforms” shall be in vain and we would have reached the end of road as it concerns peaceful reforms.

Thus, let us stop chasing shadows looking for the cause of our tribulations. We need only look at political institutions that were originally founded by the sword and have since been maintained by the sword of the majesty, injustice of the judge and an army of black myrmidons. Unfortunately, these institutions can only breathe hatred, discord and bloodshed. In simple words, as long as we seek to maintain principles flowing barbaric aggression, mutual oppression and plunder decreed by dead mad men whose highest and most noble vocation was slaughter of the innocent, using the hocus pocus and the mystic interpretation of law by lawyers, we shall be forever be tormented by open theft, fraud which destroy confidence which makes men act for themselves alone, instead of mutually exchanging their services and goods in mutual exchanges which is the basis of order in society and not police.

We reiterate that in the face of reason and facts, the imposition of artificial or legal right to property or that idle coinage of the brain which has no basis in the laws of nature, which therefore, violently overthrows the natural right to property, is the root cause of the Kenyan mess. It must be the root cause because it servers the NATURAL CONNECTION between LABOUR and its REWARDS. This artificial right to property creates a class of idle rich men who are not inventive. More so, since their natural wants are already met, and are idle, out of their low imagination capacity they come up with fancy and unreal wants and expensive vanities to meet their whims. Unfortunately, since they occupy the highest positions in society, their love of expense sets the fashion or the example which is copied by those below them. To copy these idlers is the beginning of corruption which eventually corrupts the whole society as it falls into vice and crime.

In conclusion, what we have sought to explain is this. Law makers are only known to invent new taxes and only conquer the pockets of their subjects. It is for this reason; they have diverted the need for reforms on right of property into creation of offices which will preserve their power (read 349 mps idle mps to be paid by those who labour). However, on our part, we insist that, the distribution of wealth in terms of wages, rent and interest which is the most critical issue in the stability of a nation should have been the priority. Without addressing this matter, we shall still be with a governance system dedicated to unjust appropriation of wealth of those who labour. From this parent theft, it shall surely flow all the theft, fraud, all vanity and chicanery that shall surely torment Kenyans worse than a pestilence and famine. This is because, it is impossible to violate the decree of the Creator we call upon in our national prayer with impunity.

Tested Manual: How to Rule More Than 24 Yrs

The Simama Kenya Rally that Never Stood

In this YouTube clip, Alex Chamwada of Royal Media has a one on one interview with the Simama Kenya Patron Jimmy Kibaki ahead of the much talked about big political announcement on January the 31st. President Mwai Kibakis elder son jimmy praised Saboti member of parliament Eugene Wamalwa as presidential material. He referred to him as the embodiment of the leader Kenya needs.
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Breaking News (Updated 1700 hrs EAT, 28/01/10)

As if the organisers had read this Kumekucha post, the much publicized Simama Kenya Rally has been called off. Jimmy Kibaki told reporters earlier today that "police had already withdrawn a licence earlier issued to them". You can read more on Jimmy's press conference here.

The truth of the matter is that intelligence received in Nairobi from the ground indicate that the rally and its organisers were yet to find any favour with the local residents. Our man in Bungoma also confirmed that suspicion was rife in the town that the KKK alliance was hiding behind the rally and this created an atmosphere of hostility.Simama Kenya officials in Nairobi grew cold feet, given that apart from Eugene Wamalwa himself, all the Western Kenya officials (ie Wanjala, Akaranga, et al) are 2007 election rejects with no popular support. The organisers had no option but to call of the rally under the pretence that police had withdrawn their licence.

More on this later, as the blogger follows ODM function in the same province in Kakamega, as party leaders meet grassroot delegates Friday.

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According to the self confessed tribeless Jimmy Kibaki, first time parliamentarian and Saboti MP Eugene Wamalwa is the best presidential material there exists to succeed his father come 2012!

Keen observers of Kenya’s political landscape are not convinced. Indeed, the general view amongst most residents and leaders of Western Province and the country at large is that Wamalwa’s unholy dalliance with proponents of still-born KKK alliance, his open flirtation with the amorphous Simama Kenya and his declaration to run for presidency are premature, ill-advised and bound to fail even before they start. Most people reckon Eugene is a mere pawn in the wider Kibaki succession intrigues and a clever scheme to chip away some of ODM's support base ahead of 2012.

To begin with, who or what is Simama Kenya? It should be recalled that inside the tenth parliament, PNU is not really considered to be a political party and was in fact just a vehicle for Kibaki’s abortive re-election through a coalition of various parties. In other words, there is no political party for Jimmy Kibaki to manouver himself and join the high octane succession politics, hence the idea of Simama Kenya. Observers opine that with the prospects of being elected in Othaya dwindling by the day it is only a matter of time before Simama Kenya is swiftly transformed into a political party to be used a springboard by Jimmy Kibaki into parliament, even if as a nominated MP.

All eyes however, will be focused in Bungoma this weekend when the political future of Saboti MP Eugene Wamalwa is put on the line when he hosts a Simama Kenya financially backed rally in Bungoma. The rally has been called ostensibly to launch the young Wamalwa’s so-called grand march to State House. An endorsement from Jimmy Kibaki may not mean much to casual observers, but remember it is one Gideon Moi – then known as ‘Chairman’ and a powerful member of Moi’s kitchen cabinet - who convinced his father, retiring President Moi, to pick up and support Uhuru Kenyatta as successor in 2002, at the expense of a much more experienced KANU line-up.

Simama Kenya Patron Jimmy Kibaki says they want to use the Bungoma rally to make “a strong political statement”. Apart from being Kibaki’s son, and whose father’s tenure is the most disastrous since independence, one wonders what other qualifications does Jimmy Kibaki possess to even suggest a presidential candidate to Kenyans.

Fast forward to 2009 and the Kibaki’s succession - not due until 2012 - is being fiercely contested behind the scenes that it has already claimed the political futures of the likes of Amos Kimunya and Martha Karua, and now threatens the delivery of an acceptable constitution. After ignoring the plight of Wamalwa family - moreso his late mother and widow - for the better part of Kibaki’s first term, PNU never even considered Eugene for any cabinet posting following the NARA agreement. In fact PNU chose to reward the likes of Wakoli instead of Wamalwa.

Then Jimmy Kibaki walks in with one of the most outrageous proposals since Kibaki was declared presidential poll winner. Wonders never cease. What would motivate Jimmy Kibaki to become so desperate to spend a substantial part of a family fortune looking for a possible Kibaki successor then unexpectedly fall on to support a rookie MP as presidential candidate even before he himself has established himself a front runner in succeeding his father President Kibaki as Othaya MP? Even as this happens and quite interestingly, the final constitution has yet to pass the referendum test and the executive set-up of the country is still unknown, not to mention that Eugene has no public service record worth talking about!

The answer probably lies in the activities of Simama Kenya in 2009. Prior to anointing Eugene Wamalwa, Jimmy Kibaki had struggled for to be front runner in succeeding his father’s political province in the face of being rendered irrevant by one Mary Wambui in Othaya, which has been formed the bedrock of his father’s support for more than three decades. The same Jimmy Kibaki has reportedly spent huge sums of money in attempting to rope-in so called young leaders to his side, where he managed to get firm commitment from Kamba political minion Kiema Kilonzo and perennial parliamentary race loser Tony Gacoka.

Jimmy then set his eye higher; Identify a worthy presidential candidate from one of Kenya’s populous communities. The carrot was dangled in the faces of not less that than five leading politicians who were promised an endorsement from President Kibaki if they accepted to be the torch bearer although Simama Kenya is not a registered political party in itself. Well informed intelligence sources intimate that Jimmy Kibaki has prostituted Simama’s support to Musalia Mudavadi, Uhuru Kenyatta, William Ruto, Peter Kenneth and Eugene Wamalwa. All but Eugene politely declined, choosing to play their cards close to their chests. The inexperienced and obviously excited Eugene was found to be a willing partner but the rest of these politicians were non committal. None was ready to ditch their political parties for an unknown entity like Simama. Remembering his own brother’s poorly organised and ill-fated presidential campaign in 1997, Eugene’s acceptance of jumping into bed with Jimmy Kibaki has largely been driven by promises of substantial funds being injected into his presidential campaign, expected to take off soon after the forthcoming referendum.

The reality though for Eugene Wamalwa is that his political ambition is not to actually win the presidency, but an acceptance to be used to split the Western Province vote and thereby frustrate Musalia Mudavadi’s and by extension ODM’s fortunes. ODM’s enjoys a huge support base in the Western Province where it also hold 18 of the 24 parliamentary seats.

Apart from former Bundalangi MP Raphael Wanjala who has come out openly in support of Eugene (read – hopping to cash-in on Eugene’s pay-cheque), the rally has sparked confusion in Bungoma District where there are two other presidential candidates (Moses Wetangula and Bufwoli Wakoli). Wakoli and Wetangula presidential charades complete a three pronged attack on ODM’s support base in Western. Most of the other leaders in Western are wary of the real intentions of Jimmy Kibaki who is seen as a front stooge for the KKK alliance which wants to test the Western political waters through Eugene Wamalwa.

Eugene Wamalwa has a remote chance of dislodging Musikari Kombo from the Chairmanship of Ford Kenya, which he claims is his vehicle to the presidency. In an instant, Eugene- who is a trained lawyer - has proposed various amendments to FORD-K’s constitution most of which are aimed at giving him a soft landing amongst party delegates. Among the amendments he has proposed is one to allow any member to contest the presidency and not just the party chairman. Eugene knows he has to elbow out senior party stalwarts like Kombo and Wetangula so he has been quick to also proposed the creation of the ceremonial posts of party leader and party patron, in the hope of accommodating and appeasing other president wannabes’ in FORD-K.

However much they try, Eugene’s rally in Bungoma this weekend has already been seen to have all the hallmarks of a KKK rally. Sources intimate that to avoid this satanic name hanging over their heads Messrs. William Ruto, Uhuru Kenyatta and VP Kalonzo Musyoka are tacitly planning to send their lieutenants to ‘endorse’ Eugene in Bungoma and at the same time introduce a catchy “One Kenya” (OK) slogan.

The race for 2012 is on!