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Monday, May 30, 2011

Why the next president of Kenya MUST Be a Mini Skirt Wearer

It is deadly to be a poor judge of character. It can cost you your life and more.
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Quick IQ quiz for men only: What is the first thing you see when you look at the photo above?

a) Nice thighs
b) Nice hair
c) how can I ... with this woman?
d) Her eyes look dodgy
(see correct answer at the bottom of this post)

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There was this very wealthy man who had a loving faithful wife who had been with him from the days he was a very poor man. As is usual with men of such means a lass somewhere in the sea of poverty that surrounded him decided that she was fed up with life in the lowest ranks of life. Once her mind was made up she quickly worked her way into the man’s life. Her main weapon was flattery amongst a host of other carefully selected tools. It helped that she was a seasonal prostitute operating in Mombasa; whenever a big ship with free-spending American sailors docked, she would receive a call on her cell phone to rush to the Coast. She soon made the balding ugly Sonko of a man who believed he was very bright, believe that he was the most handsome man alive. When she gave her favours she made him believe that he was the most skilled lover the world had known.

Naturally the rich man started despising his wife. How come she did not see how good-looking he still was? How come she did not make the bedroom noises this other young lass made?

And of course the gold digger did not miss a trick. Snaring a man is kindergarten stuff if you know how, men are visual animals. Wear short skirts and sometimes sit carelessly pleading innocence (you don’t even have to have nice legs). Show a lot of cleavage and laugh a lot. And whatever happens don’t dare fart.

Well… wife number one had no chance.

The inevitable quickly happen. The “clever” rich man married a second wife and abandoned and frustrated his first wife. The one who truly loved him for who he really was and NOT what he had. This sad story can have many varying endings, none of them a good one for the snared man.

This kind of thing happens all the time. As you read this one Samuel Gichuru former all-powerful managing director of KPLC can identify with this story mainly because it is woman-trouble that attracted the attention of international investigators to his alleged criminal activities. How many poor-judge of-character powerful men have been made short work of by women?

Admittedly few men are good judges of human character. Women tend to do a better job when it comes to reading the motives of others (except when romance blinds them into terrible and tragic mistakes that they regret their entire lives).

Kenyan voters have consistently been pretty poor judges of human character. Some would say that the vast majority of voters have always been blinded by Kenya shillings notes floating across their valley of decision when it comes to where to place a tick on the ballot paper. I don’t agree entirely. I believe that the much greater weakness here has been failing to see people for who they really are.

I will give you just one example. There is a man called Mutula Kilonzo. The current minister of justice is rapidly emerging as one of the voices of reason and major crusaders against corruption in high places. Now that is pretty laughable when you know the real Mutula Kilonzo. A man who made billions of shillings serving the most corrupt in high places. It is said that the money and power went into the man’s head and today his house off the Machakos road has it’s very own in-house animal orphanage. I can picture Bwana Mutula feeding his lions (like those mafia dons do in movies) as he plots his next move on the political chess board of unsuspecting Kenyans.

Word on the street is that Mutula Kilonzo will be a presidential candidate in 2012 (which will upset wiper but so what?). If you read the dark secrets of past presidents of Kenya you will cringe at the mere suggestion of such a thing. For this reason may the next president of Kenya spot a stud please or if it will be madam president let her wear mini skirts always. It is not the earing or the thighs that depict true character is it?

Answer to the IQ quiz above:
1. If you chose "A" your IQ is lower that that of an idiot
2. If you chose "B" you are a genius
3. If you chose "C" you are a typical male kenyan man (not very clever when you see a woman's thighs)
4. If you chose "D" you must be Albert Einsten himself... a university professor somewhere maybe? ... a genius no less, research shows that there cannot be more than 20 people like you in the whole of Kenya. Kumekucha readers are eager to meet a genius like you, please send your photo and profile for publication here. WELL DONE!! You are a rare and virtually extinct breed.


Recent posts in this blog written by Chris:

Chinese shocker: Workers put up 15 story building in 6 days!!!

Why this Bamba Monster called Safaricom will get you, you have nowhere to run or hide

Ikolomani: Why the man with two wives won

Why the next president of Kenya will be the "wrong kind of president for Kenya."


Today's Free book available ONLY to Kumekucha readers: How To Create a FREE Site And Make It No 1 On Google So That Tons of Customers Flock To You


Statement from Kumekucha: I have keenly read the concerns of the people and mostly my dear faithful readers of this, the oldest political blog in Kenya. And after some deep introspection I have passed judgement over myself as follows; guilty as charged. I have been guilty of abandoning my readers to chase for the elusive Kenyan shilling. I have abandoned the principals that once made this site the-must-read-must-stopover site for so many Kenyans all over the world.

And so with all humility I have re-dedicated myself to this blog and to you and to returning it to what it once was. Already I have started implementing a number of changes. For instance readers can now make comments in this blog that will be seen on Facebook. This will allow for wider discussion on the issues raised in this blog, most of which are of national importance. Later this week readers will have a new jobs and business opportunities digest with cutting edge tips they can use for BIG profits all based on news and unfolding events.

But surely all work and no play will make Mzalendo a dull boy… ama? Readers have always been delighted when we have occasionally carried movie reviews in this blog. And so I have decided to make that a regular feature. So all you movie lovers out there who never have time to browse looking for the right movie to watch are in for a treat if you keep it here. I will also be searching for the most useful ebooks online and doing deals so that they are made available for FREE only to Kumekucha readers. The first deal of this nature appears just above this message. This coupled with my controversial Kumekucha Weekend Specials and the Nyatiti and drums features which will make a come back soon should put Kumekucha back on track. Let’s put this show on the road folks.

Friday, May 27, 2011

China Shocker: Workers Build 15 Storey Hotel in 6 Days

Imagine leaving for Mombasa for a brief business trip of about 6 days and then when you come back to your house in Nairobi you get lost completely. The reason being that a 15 storey building that you did not leave there has seemingly dropped from the skies.

This is exactly what happened to some poor chaps in a neighborhood in the south-central Chinese city of Changsha when workers recently completed a magnificent 6-story building in 6 short days. YES!!! 6 DAYS.
The work crew erected the new Ark Hotel (pictured above) —a soundproofed, thermal-insulated structure reportedly built to withstand a magnitude 9 earthquake—with prefabricated materials. A crew of off-site factory workers built the sections, and their on-site counterparts arranged them on the foundation for the Ark project. Read more.

And that is not all. Like in all prefabricated buildings there was very little wastage of material. It was also reported that there wasn’t a single injury during construction. Those in the construction industry will tell you that high-rise buildings in Kenya routinely claim a few lives by the time they are completed.

I hope Kumekucha readers are able to appreciate the implications of this kind of speed in a construction project. Speed can revolutionize any venture. Imagine if you could make the kind of money you make in a year in only 6 days!!!! It means without doubt that China has to be a serious contender for the leading super power in the world today even as people continue to make fun of the quality of Chinese goods without realizing that a vast majority of the things they use on a daily basis are of Chinese origin. By the way incase you are not aware most parts inside the computer you are using to read this are from China. It doesn’t matter whether you are using a laptop or a PC. The same applies if you are using a cell phone or Blackberry.

Most people don’t know that before Japan became such a respected name in quality manufacturing there was a time everybody laughed at their poor quality. It seems that that is a phase that the Chinese have recently crossed.

I happened to know of some local entrepreneurs who are using Chinese prefabs in the Kenyan construction industry to their advantage. Imagine being able to put up buildings much faster than usual. It would have tremendous implications on cash flow and the financials in general.

Other recent posts by Chris:

Why this Bamba Monster called Safaricom will get you, you have nowhere to run or hide


Ikolomani: Why the man with two wives won

Why the next president of Kenya will be the "wrong kind of president for Kenya."


Hot tip from Kumekucha: I will be giving regular useful tips in this blog starting with this red hot one. Did you know that even as you read this there are some Kenyans based in Nairobi quietly making money from all over the world (to the tune of $5000 and more every month without fail). This is their secret. Do your own research if you don't believe me.