Emmy Kosgei about to marry an old man

Latest Update: Wedding takes place as Bride arrives in chopper

The big news on the web is the upcoming wedding of well-loved local gospel song bird Emmy Kosgei to a Nigerian pastor at least 22 years older than her. Emmy is 33 and her husband to be, Apostle Madubuko is 55. Just the kind of stuff to get the gossip mills working at full stretch.

So what else is new? After all young girls have been getting married to old men since the beginning of time. Usually the reason is financial. And yet in Emily's case she is hardly starving and has in fact made herself a tidy fortune from her talented vocals. Not to mention the fact that she counts as her close friends some very powerful and wealthy individuals in these shores, whose idea of pocket money is a couple of million shillings for shopping in London or Hong Kong. So it cannot possibly be about money.

And so is it love? True love?

Admittedly the idea of true love and finding soul mates is pretty trendy in these shores just now. Thanks in no small measure to the large volume of Mexican and Philippino soaps that have invaded the region and are turning the hearts and minds of many Kenyan women to start believing and hoping in something that is said to happen only to a handful of people in many lifetimes.

Believe it or not there are many reasons for a young girl to fall in love with a much older man which I will delve into in a minute. But let's start with what Emmy must prepare herself for if she goes ahead with this proposed union.

The first problem she will have already encountered (highlighted rather brutally by the hate messages and crude comments flying around in twitter over her planned wedding). And that is (simply put) "what will people say?" 

Whom you decide to marry is your own personal choice and must be so because you and only you will face the consequences and live with them for a very long time to come. And yet the truth of the matter is that most of us get married ONLY to people whom our family and friends will approve. Few have the courage to tell those around them to go to hell. And the strange thing is that those around us always seem to know more about our intimate relationships than we do ourselves. They KNOW it is not true love and they also KNOW it cannot be sex (what can that old man do, surely?).

Incidentally unknown to many, sex is a weapon (if I can call it that for want of a better word) that older men have frequently used to win the hearts of much younger lasses. Experience helps older men get pretty good at the art of really pleasing a woman in this department. In Emmy's case that cannot be because Christian marriages do not work quite like that. Sex happens only when everything is legal and finalized.

The other weapon is humour. Yep, you can actually get a girl to easily laugh her way into love or more likely serious infatuation.

But we are supposed to be talking about problems here and one of the other major ones younger women face with older men is children. An older man may not be as keen as you are on having children. And even if they are, the idea of being kept awake the whole night by a howling and shrieking bundle of joy could create serious cracks in a new marriage.

Still as a happily married lady friend has just emphasized to me, older men bring true happiness in a marriage and the kind of attention somebody your own age would never come close to giving you.

At the end of the day these matters are very personal and every woman has a right to seek happiness where she thinks she can find it; **ck what other people want to think.



See latest Chris Kumekucha political post; 

Will Isaac Ruto be roasted with the meat at Naivasha?

Will Isaac Ruto be roasted with the nyama choma in Naivasha today?

 

Excerpts from the latest Raw notes...

As you read this the top decision-making organ (The National Executive Council) of the United Republican Party (URP) is in session at a retreat in Naivasha. Officially the agenda is strengthening the institutional capacity of the party. The truth is that they are meeting to deal with the "Isaac Ruto problem" once and for all.

It is no accident that Isaac met with the President's political advisor, Joshua Kuttuny ahead of this meeting. What Kuttuny told Isaac is still a mystery but what is clear is that whatever it was it shook up poor Isaac quite a bit. By the time I sat down to write this Isaac had also not yet been sighted at the Naivasha retreat although insiders still insisted that he was expected.

Also interesting about this Naivasha meeting is the fact that it is not the party chairman Francis Ole Kaparo who will chair the NEC meeting but the Deputy President William Ruto himself who was expected to fly in from Mombasa where he has been with the president scoring massive points at the Coast dishing out 60,000 title deeds.

My information is that water tight resolutions will be set to deal with any would-be lone rangers within the party who may want to have a different position from that of the party on any issue now or in the future. And even if Isaac Ruto were to turn up you can be sure that he will not be holding his hat in his hand and looking repentant over the grief he has caused Bwana Kubwa DP William Ruto and the larger JUBILEE family which URP belongs to. And that is what is so exciting about what is going on in Naivasha and the possible drama that could ensue. But still whatever drama Kenyans are treated to will have zero impact where it really matters. I will tell you why in a minute.

These kinds of meetings are not for delivering directives but for discussion and brain storming to solve problems. The relaxed ambiance is supposed to help participants remain level headed and sober and thus much more likely to find some middle ground somewhere. Only that there is no middle ground in this referendum issue. Isaac has always said that he wants the allocations to counties to be legalized and is not interested even in 90% allocation if it is not written down in the laws because it can always be taken away later by somebody on a whim. Makes plenty of sense. Now the JUBILEE position is that this will be done in due course in parliament and there is no need for a referendum.

But what has irked William Ruto and others in JUBILEE is that Isaac's position is way too similar to that of CORD and everybody knows that the only reason CORD are so concerned about taking the country into a referendum is to fight the JUBILEE government.

History as they say always repeats itself and if my dad was alive he would almost certainly be talking about a similar happening in the run up to independence in the late 50s and early 60s when Jaramogo Oginga Odinga already well beaten and outsmarted by Tom Mboya suddenly woke up one morning and said that Kenyans were NOT interested in independence unless and until Jomo Kenyatta was released. Many asked; Jomo who?? An old blurbing compromising man who had been jailed on trumped charges and mostly forgotten was the stature of Jomo at the time. But sly Odinga senior knew that with Jomo on the scene, there was no way Mboya's largely Kikuyu political base would overlook their own for Mboya when it came to electing Kenya's first Prime Minister. That political strategy worked like a charm and changed the destiny of Kenya.

In much the same way.....(read the rest in my latest raw notes published a few minutes ago)

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