Latest Update: Wedding takes place as Bride arrives in chopper
The big news on the web is the upcoming wedding of well-loved local gospel song bird Emmy Kosgei to a Nigerian pastor at least 22 years older than her. Emmy is 33 and her husband to be, Apostle Madubuko is 55. Just the kind of stuff to get the gossip mills working at full stretch.
So what else is new? After all young girls have been getting married to old men since the beginning of time. Usually the reason is financial. And yet in Emily's case she is hardly starving and has in fact made herself a tidy fortune from her talented vocals. Not to mention the fact that she counts as her close friends some very powerful and wealthy individuals in these shores, whose idea of pocket money is a couple of million shillings for shopping in London or Hong Kong. So it cannot possibly be about money.
And so is it love? True love?
Admittedly the idea of true love and finding soul mates is pretty trendy in these shores just now. Thanks in no small measure to the large volume of Mexican and Philippino soaps that have invaded the region and are turning the hearts and minds of many Kenyan women to start believing and hoping in something that is said to happen only to a handful of people in many lifetimes.
Believe it or not there are many reasons for a young girl to fall in love with a much older man which I will delve into in a minute. But let's start with what Emmy must prepare herself for if she goes ahead with this proposed union.
The first problem she will have already encountered (highlighted rather brutally by the hate messages and crude comments flying around in twitter over her planned wedding). And that is (simply put) "what will people say?"
Whom you decide to marry is your own personal choice and must be so because you and only you will face the consequences and live with them for a very long time to come. And yet the truth of the matter is that most of us get married ONLY to people whom our family and friends will approve. Few have the courage to tell those around them to go to hell. And the strange thing is that those around us always seem to know more about our intimate relationships than we do ourselves. They KNOW it is not true love and they also KNOW it cannot be sex (what can that old man do, surely?).
Incidentally unknown to many, sex is a weapon (if I can call it that for want of a better word) that older men have frequently used to win the hearts of much younger lasses. Experience helps older men get pretty good at the art of really pleasing a woman in this department. In Emmy's case that cannot be because Christian marriages do not work quite like that. Sex happens only when everything is legal and finalized.
The other weapon is humour. Yep, you can actually get a girl to easily laugh her way into love or more likely serious infatuation.
But we are supposed to be talking about problems here and one of the other major ones younger women face with older men is children. An older man may not be as keen as you are on having children. And even if they are, the idea of being kept awake the whole night by a howling and shrieking bundle of joy could create serious cracks in a new marriage.
Still as a happily married lady friend has just emphasized to me, older men bring true happiness in a marriage and the kind of attention somebody your own age would never come close to giving you.
At the end of the day these matters are very personal and every woman has a right to seek happiness where she thinks she can find it; **ck what other people want to think.
See latest Chris Kumekucha political post;
Will Isaac Ruto be roasted with the meat at Naivasha?
All the best wishes to the young woman and the not so-young man as they prepare to embark on what is hoped to be a life long journey in form of a happy and normal marriage as expected by all accounts.
ReplyDeleteEmmy, Emma, Emily must have been swept off her feet and been moved to greater heights of joy, happiness, satisfaction and love by a very special aspect of humanity she found within her soon to be husband from the west of Africa.
Emmy should be given her props because as we say in my neck of the woods, 'the choice is hers, whether we like it or not' - tupende tusipende, chaguo ni lake.
Emmy's soon to be husband is her one-in-a-million choice of who-among-who was found suitable for a worth while partner in marriage, given her vocation and lifestyle.
Congratulations to Emmy and her man. May they live happily ever after.
Ati "Emmy is about to marry an old man" - yaani jizee?
ReplyDeleteKwani, what of (y)ours - mbuzi if any - has Emmy eaten in the last ten to fifteen years?
Kwa kweli sisi binadam hatuhosi kwa na mengi. Case in point, when the late liberation warrioress, Mme Wambai married a young man of her choice, the rest of the country couldn't get enough of it nor give her break.
And many onlookers, including membbers of gender, went on to give her a very hard time by saying all sorts of not so pleasant things. The rest is history.
There are those of us from the fantasy world who would have wished otherwise now Emmy has opted to marry a man of an advanced age.
What did we expect? That she marries one those vigeugeu politicians or vipepeo religious leaders or vuguvugu born agains?
Emmy is now the envy of many women and men in our midst, including countless others who were known to have mocked her at great lengths during her school days, while others had written her off as spousal material in many ways than one. She is more of a caterpillar that morphed into one of the most beautiful butterflies that flew to greater heights and found suitable landing in western Africa. More power to her and her choice of a spouse.
ReplyDelete