Saturday, August 31, 2013
Emmy Kosgei about to marry an old man
Latest Update: Wedding takes place as Bride arrives in chopper
The big news on the web is the upcoming wedding of well-loved local gospel song bird Emmy Kosgei to a Nigerian pastor at least 22 years older than her. Emmy is 33 and her husband to be, Apostle Madubuko is 55. Just the kind of stuff to get the gossip mills working at full stretch.
So what else is new? After all young girls have been getting married to old men since the beginning of time. Usually the reason is financial. And yet in Emily's case she is hardly starving and has in fact made herself a tidy fortune from her talented vocals. Not to mention the fact that she counts as her close friends some very powerful and wealthy individuals in these shores, whose idea of pocket money is a couple of million shillings for shopping in London or Hong Kong. So it cannot possibly be about money.
And so is it love? True love?
Admittedly the idea of true love and finding soul mates is pretty trendy in these shores just now. Thanks in no small measure to the large volume of Mexican and Philippino soaps that have invaded the region and are turning the hearts and minds of many Kenyan women to start believing and hoping in something that is said to happen only to a handful of people in many lifetimes.
Believe it or not there are many reasons for a young girl to fall in love with a much older man which I will delve into in a minute. But let's start with what Emmy must prepare herself for if she goes ahead with this proposed union.
The first problem she will have already encountered (highlighted rather brutally by the hate messages and crude comments flying around in twitter over her planned wedding). And that is (simply put) "what will people say?"
Whom you decide to marry is your own personal choice and must be so because you and only you will face the consequences and live with them for a very long time to come. And yet the truth of the matter is that most of us get married ONLY to people whom our family and friends will approve. Few have the courage to tell those around them to go to hell. And the strange thing is that those around us always seem to know more about our intimate relationships than we do ourselves. They KNOW it is not true love and they also KNOW it cannot be sex (what can that old man do, surely?).
Incidentally unknown to many, sex is a weapon (if I can call it that for want of a better word) that older men have frequently used to win the hearts of much younger lasses. Experience helps older men get pretty good at the art of really pleasing a woman in this department. In Emmy's case that cannot be because Christian marriages do not work quite like that. Sex happens only when everything is legal and finalized.
The other weapon is humour. Yep, you can actually get a girl to easily laugh her way into love or more likely serious infatuation.
But we are supposed to be talking about problems here and one of the other major ones younger women face with older men is children. An older man may not be as keen as you are on having children. And even if they are, the idea of being kept awake the whole night by a howling and shrieking bundle of joy could create serious cracks in a new marriage.
Still as a happily married lady friend has just emphasized to me, older men bring true happiness in a marriage and the kind of attention somebody your own age would never come close to giving you.
At the end of the day these matters are very personal and every woman has a right to seek happiness where she thinks she can find it; **ck what other people want to think.
See latest Chris Kumekucha political post;
Will Isaac Ruto be roasted with the meat at Naivasha?