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Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Trouble Coming Soon... And With Big Cash

Brace yourself for an ugly recession. Maybe the ugliest Kenya has ever seen.

Over the last two days ominous signs have emerged to confirm this. Two days ago Zain announced a massive restructuring programme that would see a whole 20% of its work force laid off. Yesterday East African Breweries followed suit and announced that they are set to send a large chunk of their staff home. They declined to talk numbers but sources say it could be as many as 200. Then the World Bank has drastically adjusted its’ growth forecast for Kenya to a paltry 2.4%. Read the article about the World bank's adjustments HERE. Some experts think that even that may be just too ambitious.

The shilling has taken a major beating in recent times confirming that remittances from the diaspora were amongst the major factors responsible for it’s resilience which saw it unaffected as the country burnt in post election violence last year. Remittances from Kenyans abroad are set to continue on their course headed south. Which also means that the construction industry (another huge beneficiary of investments from Kenyans abroad) is bound to slow down to thus causing even more Kenyans to lose jobs.

Kenyans are Africans and Africans have huge extended families most of whom are dependants. This means that the trickle down effect of all these layoffs will be enormous to say the least.

Meanwhile we continue to sustain a huge grand coalition cabinet with big salaries and perks even as they embark on a feeding frenzy of public funds through corruption. In fact even as Kenyans face starvation we are still being treated to ridiculous big politician salary headlines.

On a positive note, many people do not realize is that another word for problems is opportunities. Huge fortunes are best made during hard times rather than boom times and myriad of economic-related difficulties in Kenya are already making some Kenyans a killing. Just to quote one example. Cows are selling for a paltry Kshs 300 in Kajiado as Masai herdsmen grapple with the ravaging drought that is killing off their herds like there was no tomorrow. However if you go to your butcher the price of meat remains the same. That means that some folks love this drought and have a bank account balance to prove it.

P.S. Those following the Akinyi/Chinedu soap should read this fascinating article about yesterday’s live episode


The Most Popular Kumekucha Articles In The Last 7 days

Rape at Kenyatta University

Does this ex-MP deal in drugs?

Raila Says You Can be half pregnant

Police Boss Major Ali Sacked, Good Riddance


That is took the GSU rape orgy of KU female students to have Major Ali fired was sweet revenge served cold. The ex-commissioner had no qualms feigning ignorance on camera whether his charges used live bullets or not. He shamelessly even had the guts to deny any death despite facts to the contrary.

While the barbaric and orgy of massive destructive by KU students must be roundly condemned, the predictable police reactions betrays any trace of civilization from our law enforcement officers. Major Ali has eventually paid for his professional sins of omissions and commissions but we still have a long way to go in terms of modern, effective and civilized law enforcement.

So PC Ali is gone, what next? Without any doubt the shakeup at vigilance House will have far reaching effects. The Mungiki gangs will most likely want to have their pound of flesh extracted from their hither EXECUTIONER IN CHIEF. Add to that Major Ali’s bravado in telling Kenyans to accept disputed polls of 2007 and threatening fire which he promptly delivered thereafter following the chaos.

On a positive note, the comish can now have time to patronize and REGULATE Kameme enterprises from close range and recharge appropriately. But the firing authority may not be sitting pretty for fear of Major Ali spilling the beans. You see Iron Lady Martha is in good company and her gliding mouth will not be zipped anytime soon let the worms come out crawling.

Major Ali may be gone but he was just a cog in the steely wheel of IMPUNITY. Kenya’s gatekeepers will not lose any sleep for lack of any locks. We haven’t seen anything yet. Na bado.

Even If You Don’t Want They Will Still Do It Anyway!

Men are really strange animals. To most of them the crime of rape is nothing more than a joke. Something to snicker about and wink to your friends. That is until it is their sister or their mother or their wife who has been raped.

I am a man but to me there is no crime that is worse than rape. In my book it is better to get killed than to live with scars of rape.

Somebody confided in me a while back about her rape ordeal and it has never left my mind. The man who did it to her was a stranger who cornered her in broad daylight on some deserted footpath. He held a very sharp knife right next to her neck. The sheer horror of is still with her to this day.

But what comes later is worse. Much worse. For a woman to get any justice she will have to recount the ordeal several times. In one interesting case involving a young member of the famous Kennedy family who had been charged with rape, defence lawyers asked her whether she was wet down there when penetration took place. All this may be very entertaining to most men but to a rape victim it is a never-ending nightmare.

Yesterday students at Kenyatta University (a campus that has a long history of being the most peaceful within reach of Nairobi) went on the rampage causing destruction. Some unfortunate female students were then raped by riot police who were called in. It is said that on arriving at the scene, scores of red-bereted GSU headed straight for the women’s halls. And yet that was NOT the centre of the storm.

This brings back to memory the ordeal many women went through during the post election troubles. And the saddest thing of all is that a vast majority of these women will never get justice. So would you blame them for taking the law into their own hands?

The crime of rape is the height of impunity. Ordinary folk in Kenya (both men and women) have a pretty good idea of what it feels like to be raped. You see we the people of Kenya have been raped for a long time now by our so called leaders and we are yet to see any justice. They know very well what we don’t want but they still do it anyway. Tuta-do?

News Extra

Cell phones get stolen a lot. And that is why a new service that I have just heard about should make a huge difference. Dubbed Ujanja, the service uses satellite technology to track a telephone (or even a laptop) to it’s exact location. What happens is that after some software has been downloaded to your phone, the minute it is stolen an sms will be sent immediately to a cell phone of your choice (either your spouses or your friend.). The sms will contain vital information including the new sim card number that has been inserted into your stolen phone and the location of the phone. All this makes recovery very easy.

I am thinking that this is the kind of service that has the potential of ridding us of phone thieves (which is a very big business in Kenya these days). You can get more information on this interesting new service HERE.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Do MPs Do Desperate Things After Losing Their Seats?

Kumekucha exclusive

Barney (not his real name) is an old school friend. We were in primary school together and we have been meeting on and off over the years. But we have never really sat down to talk about stuff.

All that changed the other day when we were forced into a situation where we found ourselves in the same place stuck and stranded for at least 2 hours. Life is hectic and forces one to be constantly on the move but this time round we were forced by circumstances to alight from that speeding train called life and play catch up for about two and a half hours. It was fascinating.

Wanjala's "sweetie" Joyce Akinyi: Is she his link to his new international business?

But for the purposes of this post, I will talk about Barney’s divorce to this wealthy businesswoman wife. A young girl actually (barely in her mid-twenties who used to globe-trot all over the world on business). She loved him and barney liked her a lot. She was a breath of fresh air in her life after his stormy aborted first marriage. Barney is also in business but it seemed that his girlfriend’s business brought in a lot more money and much faster too. Still the relationship thrived and the two even had a kid together pending making everything official. You see I have known Barney for years and he is one of the few guys I know who does not get intimidated with his woman earning more than him.

But what brought a strain into the relationship (just before the kid came) was when Barney made an astounding discovery about the kind of his business his sweetheart was into. She was what one would call "a courier." She carried drugs around the world concealed in her luggage for a very handsome fee. It was easy money and Barney tells me she told him it was better than being a prostitute.

Serious problems emerged in the relationship when Barney started putting pressure on her to shut down her “business.” After all he was well able to provide for both of them as they looked around for something else for her to do.

But she was “hooked” to the business and the inevitable happened. She was caught and charged. Barney has his contacts in this town and he made his enquiries and was told that Kshs 800,000 was enough to bail her out. So Barney went to the women’s remand prison and told his wife that all she needed to do was to get 800,000 bob from her boss and “the problem” would disappear. Incidentally the girl was several months pregnant with Barney’s child at the time of her arrest. 800,000 bob in her line of business was of course no problem and so she sent word to her boss. Guess who her boss was? The current girl friend to one Mr Wanjala. Jijazie.


Let me stop the story there by saying that the woman got off with a very short jail term without any bribing (her visible pregnancy must have helped). The reason why no bribe was paid was because the 800,000 was released by the girl's boss, but somebody blew it and failed to deliver it. Currently Barney’s girlfriend is serving a very long jail term for the same offence (she was arrested again shortly after her release when she was caught red handed with a huge consignment).

Now I have just read in this mornings' newspapers that former Bundalangi MP Raphael Wanjala and his controversial sweetheart Joyce Akinyi (you will remember that their story was first broken here in Kumekucha by our won Phil) have been released from their Indian prison where they have spent the last six months (including Christmas day). Read full story of Wanjala’s arrival back in Kenya yesterday.

Based on the story I have just told you, the minute I read the latest Wanjala saga I asked myself what business is Mr Wanjala is into these days after he lost his lucrative parliamentary seat. What business is this that requires a person to carry large amounts in cash in US dollars in this day and age where people don’t even carry so much cash around in the streets of Nairobi? You just zap cash or Mpesa it if you don't qualify for a VISA debit or credit card.

And that question led me to another thought. What kind of monsters are we breeding paying our legislators the outrageous amounts of cash we pay them for doing very little if anything? What will they do when they lose their parliamentary seats and need to sustain the lavish living that they have gotten used to (both from their salaries and from the deals they make like the recent blood maize deal starring Jirongo, Ruto Namwamba and company)? What will they do when easy money is not so easily accessible anymore?

Food for though on this Monday morning (Kenyan time)… is it not? Are we increasing our already high crime rate by paying people outrageous wages to do nothing?

And by the way knowing how corruption and impunity is rampant in our leaders, is it surprising that cabinet ministers and MPs are at the top of the list for committing this serious criminal offence?

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Raila Says You Can Be Half Pregnant

I have just had more than enough of Prime Minister Raila Odinga. His press conference yesterday (to say absolutely nothing) was the climax for me (by the way he told us people would be fired, what the hell happened? Ama they have paid him to retain their cabinet posts?). I have now had more than enough from the Langata legislators lies and games. How much longer will Kenyans be cheated?

The thing about him that irritates me most is this silly excuse he keeps repeating like a mantra, that the Grand coalition government has not yet had a scandal as big as the Anglo Leasing one.

Huh!! (exercising great restraint not to say certain uncouth things).

What about the maize scam where maize was sold outside the country and now Kenyans are losing their lives from starvation as a result of that. In my book corruption that results in Kenyans dying is much bigger than Angle Leasing.

But let us for a moment pretend to believe that what Raila is saying is true. Is there such a thing as being half pregnant? If this is true then there is such a thing as being less corrupt. You are either a corrupt government or a clean one. You are either pregnant or NOT pregnant. You can surely not be less pregnant than the next woman can you be?

I voted for Raila in 2007 (with all my heart) and today I regret that action with all my heart. You see Kenyans believe in this silly principal that one should not waste their vote on a losing candidate. I beg to disagree. I would be much more comfortable today knowing what I know about raila had I voted for some of the lesser candidates. Even Kenneth Matiba. Or if there was nobody to vote for I would have been better off not wasting my time showing up to cast my vote.

Mr Prime Minister, do the honorable thing and fire yourself after apologising to Kenyans for taking us on a ride that cost thousand of precious Kenyan lives. Mwai Kibaki is no angel but at least he is NOT a pretender.

Friday, March 27, 2009

Raila: Honest Audit or Smart Blame Game?


Prime Minister Raila Odinga has given out what amounts to an audit of the GCG to date. At the centre of his audit was corruption, the cancer that is mauling at every fabric of garment Kenya.

It must be the most difficult and helpless job being a GENERAL in an army of hostile soldiers. Supervision and coordination may sound rosy on paper but just ask iron lady Martha Karua about cronyism and DNA-based appointments in the judiciary. Her political tantrums aside, it took real politics for her absorb the impact of kick in the teeth from an appreciative king after being the intellectual and political face of PNU during the trying PEV period.

In defending the UNHOLY political union of power-sharing, Raila squarely placed the blamed on corruption to inaction and lethargy by the judiciary and police. And that opens the door on the debate of whether he is telling nothing but the WHOLE TRUTH or simply shifting blame as the GCG dithers with snouts fully immersed in the honey jar.

Raila acknowledged the difficult task of undoing the myriad of ills inflicted on Kenya and Kenyans over the past 45 years. And in there lies the truth and the common thread joining the present gate keepers at the hip.

On a brighter side, at least we have been presented with a formal audit to debate about on Kenya and NOT bedroom matters that are shamelessly nationalized. That said, the will to fight corruption may be there but the courage from the right quarters lacking in abundance. Speak of the mind willing but the hands are weak.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Kibaki Rules Out Elections Before 2012: Is He Wrong Yet Again?


How will history judge Emilio Stanley Mwai Kibaki's presidency?

President Mwai Kibaki has ruled out the possibility of any elections being held in Kenya before 2012. Read the full report of what he said HERE.

The president has been wrong before. Terribly wrong at times, and sometimes with grave consequences. For example he was wrong about Kenyans taking the election theft lying down and was sure if a few of them got shot dead by police everybody would come back in line and accept the only election results he himself could live with.

He was wrong again about being able to form a non-coalition government. In fact he instructed his ministers to tell the press that folks who had come to help negotiate peace like Bishop Desmond Tutu and then Ghanaian President John Kufuor were in town for a cup of tea. He was wrong about that one too.

However the most dangerous thing the president is wrong about is the mood of Kenyans right now. He does not seem to realize just how fed up Kenyans are with the grand coalition government, especially now when there is so much hunger all over the country. As I have said before you can do many things to people without trouble as long as they have food in their belly. However the moment folks start going hungry everything changes. Ask the King of France shortly before the French Revolution started. Interestingly this is something that used to scare former President Moi a lot. Kibaki on the other hand is a completely different kettle of fish. Nothing moves him and he cares about nothing.

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And of course President Kibaki would not like any elections to take place in Kenya before 2012. That will not be in his personal interest, will it? You see in Kenya politicians NEVER do things for the good of the country.

There is little doubt that history will be much kinder to former President Daniel arap Moi’s tenure than it will be to Mwai Kibaki’s presidency. There is little doubt that he will be remembered as the President who pushed Kenyans to the brink of a terrible abyss. The man under whose watch the cancer of tribalism thrived to it’s very apex and maybe slightly beyond.

I will publish a special edition of Kumekucha Confidential tomorrow with shocking new details of the latest Visa ban move the Americans are set to make soon, this time against individuals in Kenya’s corporate sector. Two well known corporate chiefs in Kenya will soon not be able to travel to the US on business. The Confidential is FREE if you are not a subscriber yet, subscribe now by sending an email to; kumekucha-subscribe@yahoogroups.com


Tuesday, March 24, 2009

It’s Ruto… No It’s Kulei. Oops Or Is It Ruto?

It has never happened before and I was totally shocked. Usually this informant gives me A1 information in terms of reliability. In fact the problem with most of the info they give me is that it is too hot to use (sometimes even in my raw notes). But this time round they came back a few days after telling me Ruto was the Visa ban minister to tell me that it was NOT Ruto after all. The name they gave me confused me.

The US envoy had said that the banned person was a senior member of government. The last time I checked Joshua Kulei was NOT a member of the Kibaki administration. My source however assured me that Ruto was next on the dreaded list and as a matter of fact it is highly unlikely that he could ever be granted a visa incase he wants to travel to the United States.

So I made a decision to keep quiet until something happens. Well it happened last night when the Americans told us that the banned person they were referring to was in fact Kulei. Now this is really fascinating stuff because Mr Kulei is a very major investor in the American economy. In fact his entire family is currently based in the United States and his main business operations are in New York ( a place where many wealthy Americans cannot afford to operate from). See this Kumekucha article for details. And by the way according to the kroll report, guess how most of the corrupt and laundered funds have always been transferred out of Kenya? It has mainly been through Citi Bank (An American bank). Anyway that is a story for another day.

Now for the sake of those Kenyans to whom the Americans are blue-eyed boy-scouts who can do no wrong, let me inform you that these guys are masters of the use and dump “toilet paper syndrome.” They use and dump people at dizzying speeds. If one Mobuto Sese Seko, former president of the then Zaire (now democratic republic of Congo) could rise from the dead today, he would tell you a tale to remember. The Americans propped him up in the 60s at a time when he was hardly able to tie his own shoe laces and nurtured and grew him into the monster of a dictator that he became. The main casualty of this American move was one Patrice Lumumba (democratically elected Prime minister) whom the Americans helped assassinate in a most heinous manner. The man’s body was dismembered and burnt so that no trace of him was left save for his upper teeth proudly kept as a momento by some Belgian weirdo soldier who took part in the “operation.” The Americans then abandoned Mobutu at his hour of need and proceeded to heavily back an assault that removed him from power.

Back home, the Americans eagerly supported Mwai Kibaki for a second term and the World Bank was dishing out Aid money to the government as late as in December 2007, months before the general elections. Word in Washington was that Kibaki was going to be re-elected. Quite odd when on the ground he was losing by a landslide. You will remember that the American government was a wee too quick in congratulating Kibaki on his re-election hours after a pre-recorded night swearing-in at State House Nairobi. Even when they were well aware of an exit poll by an American set-up clearly showing that Raila Odinga won the presidential elections. Days later it was the same Americans threatening President Kibaki back into line and into accepting the ridiculous idea of a coalition government that would incorporate all major competitors in the presidential race.

So what is the latest American game in Kenya with these visa ban announcements?

Joshua Kulei has very close links with Prime Minister Raila Odinga. Everybody knows that the Mois are majority shareholders in the Standard group and that is why many were puzzled at the extremely favorable coverage Raila has always gotten from the Standard newspaper which at one time was almost an ODM newsletter. All that was courtesy of Kulei who was sure that Raila would win the presidency and wanted to warm himself to him to stay away from prison (a place he knows only too well after decades as a prison warden before his meteoric and overnight rise to wealth began).

What is in fact happening is that the Americans are practicing what I call “scare diplomacy”. It seems that some important Kenyan government officials have to be “scared into line” so that they play ball when the Americans present a petition for something they want very soon. It is as simple as that.

Hawa wewe Obama? OUCH!!!

The Americans stand accused for allowing Kulei into their country with funds whose source they knew very well. They in effect helped this man rape the Kenyan people. Uncle Sam held the legs apart as the heinous crime was committed.


See other HOT related Kumekucha articles;

Moi family problems in securing wealth abroad

Why Kulei was threatend by Moi sons

Gideon Moi’s trip with his father to be introduced to Banks in Luxembourg

The Joshua Kulei story

What Is The Alternative To Not Having An Election ASAP?

Yesterday there was a lethal flare up somewhere near Globe Cinema on Kirinyaga Road (some old folks still use the old name of Grogan Road). Some Somali national bought a piece of land and proceeded to fence it off without caring what would happen to all the jua kali mechanic plying their trade on the grounds.

It was a clear illustration yet again at just how tense things are in the country at the moment. But it seems that very few people have taken note and even fewer care. One group that has woken up pronto is the NCCK which is pushing for early elections because Kenyans are just sick of this coalition nonsense.

However some Kenyans are of the view that we should all be a little patient and wait. But wait for what?

Wait for the current government to push forward a new constitution? Wow!! Maybe in your dreams. All the guys eyeing the presidency in 2012 want the powers of the office intact so that they can do their thing. So is it surprising that a year later there is no “whiff” of a new constitution?

Wait for minimal reforms? Are you serious? Can these jokers agree on anything? Can this government get anything done, other than stealing maize and other selfish and personal stuff?

A prominent coalition partner’s favourite way of putting things is that this government came into power under extra-ordinary circumstances and therefore Kenyans should be patient and give the government time to get things done. I am sick of hearing this line because it is a lie. The truth is that politicians want Kenyans to be patient so that they get a little more time to steal to replenish their 2007 campaign expenditure and then to prepare their 2012 war chest funds.

The mood in the country is deadly and the only thing that can save us all from chaos is an early general election as soon as possible.

Yes, I am aware that we do not have an electoral body to9 run elections just now. But my point is that once we all agree that we need an election right away, a way will be found.

Deputy Prime Minister Musalia Mudavadi posed a rhetorical question in an interview with the press a few weeks ago in answer to Kenyans being fed up with the coalition government. He asked; what is the alternative to the coalition government?

I ask my own question in reply; what is the alternative of not having an election ASAP? Answer: Trust me, you don’t want to know but it has something to do with lots of chaos.


Kumekucha was first to call for early elections in this post, months ago.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Starving While Seated Atop Sh 5 Billion Gold


The blind Ngoli Lomorukai of Turkana Central may be staring death in the face thanks to ravaging famine and starvation. But not for ENTERPRISING Kenyans who have dutifully taken ownership of a controversial consignment of blood Gold from Congo belonging to Zimbabwe's Vice-President Joyce Mujuru. She may be among the 200 banned elites profiting from Mugabe’s draconian regime, but she surely knew Kenyans’ prowess to OVERCOME any difficulty where REAL MONEY is concerned.

Our own blue chip lawyer (almost ECK chair) Cecil Miller came in handy using the right connections to AUTHENTICATE the gold consignment as originating from Kenya so that the Swiss company would not associate it with blood gold. This is big business for the boys and gatekeepers and woe unto you Kenyans depleting wild berries for lunch and dinner.

Cecil Miller
Mrs Mujuru’s daughter who is married to a Spaniard is a typical child of African big families. Even after being smoked out as trafficking blood gold from DRC, she still shamelessly offered to use the right contacts and like-minded scoundrels to change origin of the cargo. Reminds you of our own Goldenberg scam where gullible government paid for exported air as gold.

We are really a working nation in permanent slumber. With one lip we admire Obama with his blistering daily hands-on and with the other bigoted lip we entertain leadership by cronies with sharpened claws drawing blood from every vein running through Kenya.

So poor Ngoli may blind and suffering painful hunger pangs. But who cares when REAL BUSINESS beckons in REAL GOLD? Some things can only happen in Kenya and be viewed normal.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Multiple Choice Exam On William Ruto And Aging Politicians

Here is a multiple choice exam for you. My sincere apologies to all because I know the great phobia that Kenyans have for examinations. Can’t blame them when our educational system is what it is, little wonder that parents have no qualms buying leaked examination papers.

Please tick only one answer because ticking 2 shall automatically be marked wrong by the computer (sorry you can’t bribe it). You have up to 30 minutes to carefully think and consider before marking the correct answer. (maximum marks 100 and a pat on your back from yourself)

Good Luck.

1. If you were William Ruto and you happen to receive a visa ban from United States, would you;

a) Become the good man you never were and keep your mouth sealed. After all there is a sizeable number of Kenyans who do NOT believe that it is Ruto.

b) Become the good man you never were and apologize to the Kenyan people for all your sins of omission and commission of the past asking them to forgive you but allow you to keep your ill-gotten wealth.

c) Resign your cabinet post and launch your 2012 presidential campaign early satisfied with the funds that you have already looted while in cabinet.

d) Sponsor a censure motion against the United States of America for interfering with the affairs of a sovereign state like Kenya and announce that you have no interest in visiting the US anyway.

e) Strongly deny any insinuations that you might be the visa ban minister and threaten to sue those who persist in bringing forward your name.

f) Make a long emotional tantrum-speech on the floor of parliament invoking your wife and children (Kimunya-style) and hope that Kenyans will sympathize with you and start demonstrating on the streets on Nairobi against the evil United States. You can of course help push the process forward a little by giving some idlers a small cash incentive and some placards.

g) Prove to the public beyond any doubt that there is no visa ban against you by traveling to the United States ASAP.


2. If you were Raila Odinga, William Ole Ntimama or John Michuki you would do one of the following when the next elections are called;

a) Announce your resignation from active politics and pave the way for a new generation of leaders.

b) Start a campaign in your constituency to declare yourself MP for life in honour of the services that you have contributed to the people of Kenya having been in active politics longer that President Obama has been alive.

c) Cheat Kenyans that you have never really had an opportunity to make a difference and if they want to see the real you (the way Kenyans saw the real Kibaki) they should elect you president.

d) Tell Kenyans that you deserve to rule the country because of your advanced age. Age goes with wisdom, so we are told. Which means that since independence Kenya has been led by extremely wise leaders.

e) Promise Kenyans that if elected president you will constitute a youthful cabinet. Of course the definition of “youthful” is rather loose. Only in Kenya can you be a youth aged 70 years old.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Identity of Visa-Ban Minister Revealed

Kumekucha can confirm today that the cabinet minister who received a visa ban from the Americans earlier this week is agriculture minister, William Ruto.

For Kenyans still thinking in terms of ODM and PNU, this clearly underlines the fact that corruption has no party or tribal boundaries, the cancer eats into our society right across the board.


My information tells me that the minister is “very upset” over the news more so because there are indications that his family members and business associates will also be affected.


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Why do flash drives crash so frequently?

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Clearly the Americans launched an FBI investigation into William Ruto and the findings sealed Ruto’s fate. It is sad that the contents of that investigation are secret because it would have been of great interest to long-suffering Kenyans. It is also important to note that this is the first visa ban to happen under President Barrack Obama’s watch.


William Ruto: Contents of FBI investigation on him would be of great interest to Kenyans


Many Kenyans will be grateful that even after beating a censure motion against him, Ruto was not able to stop this latest development which means that foreign travel will be an extremely difficult if not impossible prospect for him.


The first big question this raises is whether Mr Ruto is capable of continuing to carry his duties effectively as agriculture minister at a time when this particular docket is so critical to Kenyans that it is a matter of life and death. For example he cannot attend any major Agicultural conference in the United States. Agriculture experts will tell you that the most important conferences and gatherings on the subject usually take place in the US. In fact what is bound to happen is that other countries mostly in Europe will follow the US lead (as they usually do) and slap visa bans on Ruto.


The really fascinating thing here is that there is a new deadly and extremely powerful enemy to impunity in Kenya and it is called Barrack Obama.



P.S. My inside information tells me that Emilio Stanley himself and his immediate family could be the target of a future visa ban sooner than most people think. Wow!!!


Is the future a flying car?

The Bitter Truth...An Obama in Kenya Won't Happen in 2012

No, I've not met Prime Minister Raila Odinga as some have claimed.

Not too long ago I and a couple of friends in the Diaspora brought in a team to Kenya to study and give us a report on the viability of a people-driven change, one that would closely emulate the miraculous election of President Barack Obama in the United States. The team carried out studies and employed some of the best approaches to a matter of this nature, even where I thought their methodology would lead to suspect conclusions. In the long run, their findings have proved sound and fortified within solid reason.

After careful analysis of the massive data the team slapped on the table for our consideration, we all arrived at the conclusion that it would be impossible for Kenya to replicate what happened in the United States. There are simply too many logistical, political and historical obstacles that stand in the way of realization of this dream in 2012. For me, the most disturbing finding of the team was the fact that most people who admire Obama and wish for a repeat of his achievements here in Kenya were the very ones who categorically said they wouldn't vote for that person if they were not from "My tribe!"

Hhmm...!

Faced with this state of affairs, my friends and I asked the team to study the history of Kenya and its leadership and give us a report on who best qualifies to lead the nation in a post-Kibaki Kenya if a younger, charismatic leader can't emerge. Without hesitation, the team gave us this name: Raila Odinga.

I'm aware of all the names I'll be called for stating the findings of this team, but I have to go with my conscience on this one. There is only one leader in Kenya today who can and will work hard to push reforms. There is only one leader who will look out for the interests of all Kenyans. And there is only one leader who will ensure that perpetrators of the heinous acts that were visited on innocent Kenyans after the elections are punished.

That leader is Raila Amolo Odinga.

Uhuru, Martha, Saitoti and Kalonzo are a recipe for disaster.

Where were they when Raila risked his life to expand the freedoms we enjoy in Kenya today? And on what side did they stand when Kenya faced her darkest hour? Were they with progressive forces or with those who would deny Kenyans their democratic rights?

Traitors will always be traitors!

And with that, my fellow countrymen, I bow out of presidential politics and present to you, for renewed consideration, the Langata MP, the Rt Honorable Raila Amolo Odinga. I've not said I'm out of contention for Honourable Member from Rarieda. More on that later. For now, my word is...for a prosperous, peaceful and united Kenya to emerge, I call upon the Diaspora Kenyans and our compatriots within this great land to help build Raila and help sustain the dream and reforms he promised to deliver were he elected in 2007.

Let's keep the dream alive.

It's Raila 2012...or sooner!

Monday, March 16, 2009

"Titanic" Coalition Government Fails To See The Icebergs Ahead

As VP Musyoka admits that the coalition government is the cause of Kenyan’s many problems


You, my dear readers must be pretty sick by now of me telling you how I love movies.

My apologies as I indulge you in yet another movie. This one perfectly illustrates the situation in Kenya for me.

The movie is Titanic. Did you watch it? But let me say something before I talk about the movie.
The "unsinkable" Titatic shortly before it's maiden and only voyage. Is the coalition government about to hit deadly "icebergs"?

Former UN secretary general Kofi Anan thinks that the coalition government will hold and so do so many other prominent people. However Vice President Kalonzo Musyoka gave what must be his most controversial speech yesterday and confirmed what we have been saying in this blog and what Kenyans have been saying all along. The VP says that a coalition government is the worst possible kind of government we have ever had. He then went on to blame all the problems facing the country on the coalition government of which he belongs.

This statement from the Daily nation article on the speech was the killer blow for me;

Mr Musyoka bluntly described a coalition government as “the worst form of governance” which allowed politicians to endanger people’s future with impunity. Read the full article.

Now you have heard it from the horses’ mouth.

Back to Titanic. The movie was of course based on a real life tragedy where the biggest steam ship of it’s time, the Titanic sunk on it’s maiden trip from Southampton, England to NewYork City America.

The huge luxury ship employing the latest technology of the time was touted as being unsinkable (We have been told that the coalition government will hold and is unsinkable until the 2012 elections).

In the movie version a budding romance between two characters from very different worlds (played by Leonardo Di Caprio and Kate Winselet) takes place within the ship. The unlikely romance is held together despite everything by true love which is proved in the end. (The “romance” between PNU and ODM is held together by greed and corruption as VP Kalonzo Musyoka confirmed yesterday.)

And so the unsinkable Titanic hurtled full speed towards NewYork oblivious of the great dangers ahead in the form of icebergs.

The coalition government is hurtling full speed towards 2012 with ,members stealing and grabbing like there was no tomorrow, but like just as the Titanic never reached new York…EVER, the coalition government will never see 2012. The ship sunk on 15th April (1912) and in my vioew the coalition government will collapse a few weeks after that same date this year.

What icebergs do I see ahead?

Good question. Methinks that it will be all about the economy. Most economists think that the country will have been hit by the effects of the wolrd economic melt down by May this year. And without the “glue” that holds the coalition “romance” together i.e. plenty of cash to loot, what are the chances of it surviving?

I would like to think of the Kumekucha blog as that first officer at the top of the Titanic who saw the icebergs looming in the dark horizon and did his best to raise the alrm. The ship tried to turn to avoid the deadly icebergs but due to it’s great speed at the time, it was all too late.


Read more about The titanic

We were right and wrong about the coalition in this Feb 28th 2008 article

Will The grand coalition government collapse in this way?

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Was Oscar’s Kamau Kingara Really A Threat To National Security?

Shocking facts have been unearthed by Kumekucha about the still unsolved murders of Kamau Kingara and Paul Oulu of the Oscar Foundation, Nairobi.

According to the information the activities of the Oscar foundation duo were deemed to be a threat to national security that just had to be neutralized. Actually the organization was seen as contributing to a bigger threat in the horizon that security forces in Kenya are now busy trying to pre-empt and nip in the bud at all costs. (HINT: It is something to do with a prediction I have been talking about frequently in this blog).

Numerous murder mysteries have been solved by carefully observing the actions and movements of the victim in the last day or so before they were murdered and leading upto the last few hours. In the case of the late Kingara doing so gives out a number of tell-tale clues that just confirm the highly explosive information I have received over the last few days.

Virtually all political assassinations that have happened in Kenya in the past have used the excuse of the target being a threat to national security (read this revealing Kumekucha article from the past about the historical background of this).

Shortly before he was killed you will remember that Kamau Kingara gave a TV interview where he delivered a scathing attack on the government of President Kibaki. This was quickly followed by some strong remarks by government spokesman Alfred Mutua about the Oscar Foundation organization’s alleged links with the outlawed Mungiki sect. Everybody knows who Mutua takes orders directly from.

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If you suspect that your spouse is cheating on you, one of the easiest ways of gathering evidence to prove it is by the successful recovery of deleted sms messages from their cell phones.
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Hours later Kingara was dead. Was all this just a coincidence? Are all these events in the last few hours of Mr Kingara’s life pure chance?

The information I have says that it is NOT a coincidence and that the late Kingara’s activities were in fact viewed as a threat to national security (at least according to the NSIS).

What all this means is that it is highly unlikely that the real killers of Kingara and Oulu will ever be brought to justice. And more frightening, Kenyans should expect a number of unsolved murders happening over the next few months or so.

Stop Press: In my latest Confidential email newsletter I publish the hit list that is being targeted by assassins. You will be shocked!!! It’s free to subscribe send an email now to: kumekucha-subscribe@yahoogroups.com... and then follow the simple instructions you receive.


Related articles in Kumekucha you should read;

Excuse for past political assassinations and the Standard raid was national security

It is the season for many assassinations

Friday, March 13, 2009

Paka Akitoka Panya Hutawala

Lack of leadership in the nation and in our homes has everything to do with been a near failed state and having dis-functional homesteads. And in there between a home and the state are many other institutions that are not working as they should.

Life is easy and fun and swift but things get complicated and very hard when basic human rules and roles are not adhered to. There never is a vacuum in anything … one thing moves and another takes its place immediately be it for good or for bad … and that is for us (humans) to decide. An end to something means a beginning of something else … a start of something means an end of another.

When that that needs to be done is not done, be it out of ignorance or arrogance or procrastination or sheer stupidity there are consequences that must follow … and all must be ready to carry the cross. It doesn’t matter if you are/were innocent or not at the time the crime was committed … all MUST carry the cross (burden) and its fruits because when it RAINS it rains on all.

That begs the question of – who then should act. Anyone who has ears and can hear or has eyes and can see or can move from point A to B or all of the above should be responsible in every way to ensure that all the unborn will not be loaded with burdens that we created and continue to create … burdens that we could have eliminated … burdens that could have been avoided.

This is not the time for blame game. In any case the energy for such a tempting and nothing but an ego 'satisfier' game should be used constructively for the improvement of the situation we find ourselves in.

As the 1st step … can we stop the blame game … it does not add any value to anyone or anything, even to the air. It’s nothing but a POLLUTANT.

PS:- All kikuyu, luo, etc kind of rubbish comments will be deleted.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Letter to Kibaki From Moi

(Tongue in the cheek post)


Kabarnet Gardens

Nairobi


My Dear Emilio,


It is with a heavy heart that I write this letter to express my utter disappointment in you and how you have handled things, especially in recent months. As a patriot I am alarmed and very worried about the future of our beloved country.


I have thought long and hard before writing this letter and I hope you will not take anything in it personally.


You know these days I cannot sleep at night. The moment I doze off I wake up only a few minutes later sweating after seeing horrifying nightmares of terrible violence and chaos in Kenya.


Emilio, I have reminded you many times that you are the president of the republic of Kenya and you must take charge of things. And I remind you of this yet again. You know that I have always said (and you know it is true) when you do nothing it is always interpreted as a sign of weakness no wonder people are doing what they want in the country these days as if there is no president. There can only be one result from all this—chaos.


Even the things that presidents have to do, you don’t seem capable of doing properly. I am sorry to ask this again, but why the hell did you not ask for my help if you knew you couldn't steal a presidential election properly? What you did in December 2007 was so obvious and really embarrassing. What were you trying? You know how neatly I used to do my things so that nobody could challenge me. But what you did Emilio was so amateurish and hardly befits a president of the republic of Kenya. In fact the bill for that little fiasco will probably never be footed in the lifetimes of our great grandchildren. Come to think of it, can’t you do anything without it ending in a blunder? Believe you me my friend, all these things are going to catch up with you in a very bad way, make no mistake about that. I am your friend and I am worried that you could end up not only causing grief to yourself but to my family and the Kenyatta family as well. As you know people are now talking g about ending impunity and I have a feeling this campaign will end up with them poking their noses into the past. If you do not care about your children Emilio, I can tell you that I do and I want nothing more but for them to live in peace without being hassled.


Then this thing of keeping a woman you cannot control in State House. I know when you were a minister under me, you and others used to make jokes behind my back about me being a senior bachelor and not having a wife. Well, now we all know who the joke is on don’t we?


Lastly you will know how sensitive I was to hunger problems in the country. You see there are many things you can do to people but things become extremely dangerous when they start going hungry. Correct me if I am wrong but you don’t seem to care let alone realize how dangerous this can be.


Really Emilio, you have to do something and you have to do it pronto because the country is truly sinking into chaos and yet you have all the power to halt this slide. As always I will be available to advice accordingly.


Yours Sincerely,


Daniel T. Arap Moi

Former President and commander in chief of the armed forces, banana republic of Kenya.


Stop Press: Who else is on the hit list that Kamau Kingara was on?
In my latest Confidential email newsletter I publish the hit list that is being targeted by assassins. You will be shocked!!! It’s free to subscribe send an email now to: kumekucha-subscribe@yahoogroups.com... and then follow the simple instructions

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Shocking Cabinet Re-Shuffle That Never Was

Kumekucha Exclusive

Who really acts as President when President Kibaki is away? The answer will not surprise those in the know but many other Kenyans will be dumbfounded.

Impeccable sources have informed this blogger of a very curious incident that took place recently that is really scary and clearly proves just how incompetent and disorganized the Kibaki administration must be.

On the memorable day that first lady Lucy Kibaki visited Kenyatta National Hospital and made a scathing attack on internal security minister George Saitoti, the president was out of the country in Ethiopia. You will remember that the first lady said that the internal security docket should be headed by a woman and demanded a written explanation from Saitoti about his handling of the ministry.

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Be careful because if your hard drive crashes you reduce the chances of successful data recovery by trying to revive the hard drive on your own. It is always a better idea to call in the experts right away.
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What Kenyans do not know is that after that press conference Lucy Kibaki ordered Francis Muthaura to immediately issue a Presidential Press Service (PPS) statement announcing the sacking of Prof george Saitoti and replacing him with Nyeri town MP Esther Murugi Mathenge. Just when the statement was about to be released to the press, hurried calls were made from State House Nairobi to Ethiopia to confirm the contents of the explosive press statement.

This is what really caused Kibaki to hurry back from his Ethiopia engagements. The excuse given was that Emilio hurried back because of the Molo fire tragedy (how funny for those who know the man). In actual fact the man hurried back to veto Lucy’s mini-cabinet re-shuffle and issue a statement emphasizing on the confidence he has in George “Goldenberg” Saitoti.

What a way to run the country!!!

Stop Press: In my latest Confidential email newsletter I publish the hit list that is being targeted by assassins. You will be shocked!!! It’s free to subscribe send an email now to: kumekucha-subscribe@yahoogroups.com... and then follow the simple instructions you receive.


See the other recent Kumekucha Exclusive:
Kumekucha Exclusive: How Standard Raid Was Planned In State House

Monday, March 09, 2009

Happy Monday

You folks should stop making me laugh. If Ruto and UK were to form an alliance for the next general elections, it would mean that Ruto will actually have to pretend to run for the presidency….if only to remove the benefit of the Kalenjin vote from the ODM axis. The two, Ruto and UK, will never be on the same ticket….too much blood and animosity after the PEV. The leaders may forge unity but the masses will not…..especially if they are still in IDP camps. In fact, the plan is and will always be to have Kalonzo run as president and Uhuru as PM. Ruto will be awarded VP and it will be touted as a peaceful attempt to bring Kenyans together. Everybody in Kenyan knows that UK, after Kibaki, cannot entertain dreams of a presidency via the next general election. The anti-kikuyu sentiments still exist and will definitely become more prominent as the elections near. That’s the sad reality of our tribal politics. It follows therefore that Ruto must be convinced to either run himself or back somebody outside of the Raila/ODM axis. That is the only way Kalonzo stands a chance.

Now, the way things are going, it is seemingly unclear whether Raila will run. We must however not forget that this man is a genius in euphoric politics. He has two choices if he expects to run successfully. One is to make sure Ruto does not wonder too far from ODM. The other is to burst Ruto’s bubble and propagate an alternative Kalenjin chief. The fact is that Raila goes nowhere without the Kalenjin vote and he knows it. He’s safe in the other regions. All he has to do is get into the campaign mode. Some are already saying he’s getting into that mode albeit very cautiously. He has already started distancing himself from Kibaki and the coalition government.

You see, even today, when people complain that the coalition is failing, they are really talking about Kibaki. The constant mention and blame of the ‘two principals’ is loosing flavor. It is essentially just diplomatic speech. The real animosity is still towards Kibaki, a man many perceive as having brought us to this failed state. His defunct leadership is clear to all Kenyans, be they Kikuyu, Luo or Taita. It will be very easy for Raila to de-link himself from Kibaki and indeed the failures of the coalition. That is why it does not help UK and Kalonzo when folk like Michuki go around proclaiming that Kibaki is the paramount chief…even if he really is.

Between now and the next election, Raila must persist in highlighting his difficulties within the coalition in regards to failed expectations. Kenyans are bright but not that bright. Already you’ve seen newspaper articles blaming the diminishing of Raila’s star to the ‘unfair’ arrangement of the coalition. Some have gone as far as calling him a toothless bulldog. What they are in fact saying is that Raila holds the interest of the masses in his heart but is being frustrated by Muthaura and others in PNU. This is a freebie for ODM and they will never let you forget it. They will continue complaining about the unfair balance of power while knowing too well that PNU will never budge. The idea is not and will never be getting more positions. Rather, it is to keep that ‘unfairness factor’ in the public domain for as long as humanly possible. People like to vote for those they ‘agree’ with especially if they think they are being treated unfairly.

For those of you wondering why it has taken over a year for ODM to start the talk of unfairness, well, the 2007 campaign bills must be paid and there’s only one way to do so in Kenya. This applies to both PNU and ODM. Believe me folks; none of these fellows are queuing at Equity Bank for loans to pay for 2007 campaign posters and billboards.

So there you have it. Of course these prophecies are bound to change should one of the sitting ducks be taken out of commission before reaching the pond.

Sunday, March 08, 2009

Project Uhuru Ready, Rattles Karua and Saitoti

Martha Karua must have seen it coming. Uhuru has mastered the game and the gloves are off. Make no mistake. Jomo Junior is not in the ring to fight but to scare pretenders to the throne before he offloads his rented mouths and walk them into a SAINTLY union.

Poor Martha Karua can try all the gimmicks available in the book but her disguised political tantrums will soon bust out in the open. And who knows, the PNU legal and public face during the trying PEV months may be having an ace up her sleeve just waiting for the opportune time to unleash it. Or does she?

The gatekeepers are not leaving anything to chance and Karua has no trace of royal blood. Even the good Prof George Kiarie Kinuthia will soon rue the folly of truncating his middle names. It is political crunch time and UK is out with all that money can buy. No amount of topological mapping and metric spacing can match the raw tried and tested antics perfected over the years within our borders.

Uhuru was not naive to go in history books as the first opposition chief to abscond duty and support an incumbent. Instead he was alive to the wisdom that true payback is not only handsome but sweet too.

What is more, Uhuru is a safe hand pair of hands for Kenya’s gate keepers. All they need is to consolidate that support now and all the rest will MIRACULOUSLY driven to political nirvana.

Annan ni nani?
You can smell it from afar. UK has unofficially taken the reigns of PNU to the chagrin of Saitoti. When Uhuru dismisses Annan using the WE word, he is simply gloating with the intension of throwing his acquired political weight. Any good student of Kenyan politics will tell you that UK’s latent contempt effectively scuttles Geneva invitation.

Koffi Annan should know better that he is past his relevance sell by date. The owners of Kenya have regained control and he is better advised to enjoy his retirement in peace.

Saturday, March 07, 2009

Assassinations Season Now Here With Us

For months now controversial Kumekucha blogger Phil has been warning of coming assassinations in Kenya’s political landscape. I too have warned in several posts that we are entering an extremely dangerous phase of our politics where we should expect politically motivated assassinations on an unprecedented scale. I called them some of the painful birth pangs for the new Kenya that is coming. The kind of Kenya we all dream of.

I have some information that is so sensitive that it cannot be shared here which makes it clear that there is nothing but plenty of trouble ahead. I really wish there was a way to stop these crazy guys.

But let me back up a little here and discuss the special circumstances in our politics that has brought us to where we are now.

This week the president’s circus of a press conference to introduce his immediate family (whom we did not elect and are not interested in—last time I checked Kenya had NO royal family) drowned out some really fascinating news. ODM the party with the majority in parliament announced that they were unhappy with the coalition set up and say that they would like to re-negotiate things because they have gotten a raw deal all along in the power-sharing deal. The immediate question that begs an answer is how long it took for the party to realize that they were being short changed. It seems it took one long year. Or did it?

Actually the truth of the matter is that the political situation on the ground is now extremely fluid. The problem seems to be the growing unrest and impatience amongst too many Kenyans over the grand coalition government that many feel is much worse than President Kibaki’s first and only legitimate administration. The ODM top brass in the midst of their corruption feeding frenzy seem to have realized that it is only a matter of time before things get out of hand and the coalition government is forced out of office. And so what the smart alecs are trying to do is to re-position themselves for the possible fall-out. Brilliant but extremely selfishly self-serving without an iota of interest in the people who elected them so enthusiastically into office.

The really dangerous thing here is that it is not only ODM who are busy launching their campaigns for the next general elections. We also have individual politicians, crooks and certain big business interests busy on their political chess boards. I have deliberately chosen chess because in the game the whole objective is to “eliminate” the king. Apparently some people with big political ambitions think that by “eliminating” certain people their route (or that of their candidate) to State House will be made much easier. The stakes are extremely high more so because Mwai Kibaki has proved that a {resident of Kenya can do anything and get away with it (including stealing a presidential election in broad daylight).

I have had the privilege of being told about a certain hit list that has been compiled complete with some of the individuals on it. This is really a scary time for mama Kenya. It is a good time to double prayer efforts.

Friday, March 06, 2009

Mungiki Killings: Last Signs of a Failed State


Dr. Afred Mutua is a troubled man. The government spokesman must we wishing he could eat his words that condemned Oscar Foundation as the financiers of Mungiki. Even before he even shut his lips OF officials Oscar Kamau King’ara and Paul Oulu were dead meat.

So did Mutua know something we didn’t know or was his just another episode of choking with both his limbs stuck in his mouth? Add that to the bravado fro police spokesman Eric Kiraithe and you cannot fail to see the common thread of high stakes behind the scenes.

That the murderous Mungiki has no place in a modern society is without question. But a police force that thrives on extra-judicial killings to fight such criminals can only succeed in the gang mutating into something even more dangerous. Nothing but the rule and respect of law separates us from other apes and the reign of the jungle.

King’ara must have rubbed 2012 SUCCESSIONISTS the wrong way. Having Oscar lorry branded with key politicians and police officers suspected of ordering previous extra-judicial killings must have been the last nail that sealed his coffin. You don’t expose Kenyan gatekeepers and expect to escape with it given the boiling succession wars underneath.

Killing fields
The police force has resorted to jungle law that saw them rope in rival Mungiki factions to do their dirty executions. Only the police force can have the intelligence to constantly monitor both King’ara and Oulu that made tracing them to the traffic jam so easy. And what a senseless orgy of firing it was pumping more than three bullets in each head?

Impunity mutates into different faces and with the police force already exposed as its icon, we haven’t seen anything yet. Add that to the boiling magma that is succession 2012 and you get a volatile mix of executions and assassination in quick succession.

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

Arrest Warrant: Bashir's Cheap Kenyan Tricks


Busing in supporters to central Khartoum chanting WE LOVE PRESIDENT BASHIR was a movie scripted and premiered in Kenya. After butchering nearly 300,000 of his own subjects in Darfur, Bashir outdid Kenyan politicians in running home to drum support when cornered.

Luis Moreno is a tough cookie. He terrorized dictators and murderers in his native Argentina and Bashir must have underestimated his resolve to indict him even if only for sentimental reasons. The heat is on and fellow strongmen in Africa are not sitting pretty any more as evident in their opposition to Bashir’s arrest warrant.

Not that they love General Al-Bashir any bit but they are alive to the fact that their necks may be next on Moreno’s chopping block. Bashir’s copy of our own Mutua was predictable as the sun rising in the east with that tired line of neo-colonialism. And Mustafa Othman Ismail is in good company with many here who will wax patriotic when convenient in support of their own political tin gods.

Security in numbers
Bashir will not present himself to The Hague but Moreno has cut the ice. The precedent ans symbolism will sent a cold chill on the spines of scoundrels hell bent of exterminating their opponents and voters whom they consider a challenge to their dictatorship and plunder. No amount of plastic patriotism will buy immunity from indictment.

And just as our IDPs continue to pay the price of unholy trinity perpetrated by our own king, Sudanese refugees are the end losers with six foreign aid agencies having their registrations revoked already. Speak of painful security in numbers amongst insensitive murders who will stop at nothing in the process of feathering their nests at national expense.


Recent most popular stories on Kumekucha:

Kumekucha Exclusive: How Standard Raid Was Planned In State House

Kibaki and his wives: Blame lies with Kibaki only

Alfred Mutua looked so ashamed and the ADC was crying in shame behind Kibaki (see photo)

How Kibaki and Michuki Plotted and Executed The Standard Raid at State House

Raid on Standard newspapers was carefully planned in State House Nairobi

The motive behind the March 2, 2006, police raid at the Standard Group offices has remained top secret to date.

However Kumekucha today unveils the secrets behind the raid based on interviews from two of President Kibaki’s aides privy to the "Government operation."
In February 2006, President Kibaki chaired a meeting at State House, Nairobi, which was attended by the then Minister for Internal Security, Mr John Michuki, Mr Stanley Murage, Head of Civil Service Francis Muthaura, NSIS Director General Michael Gichangi, the then CID Director Joseph Kamau, among other State House operatives.

Despite the gravity of the matter under discussion, the Commissioner of police, Maj Gen Mohamed Ali, was not invited. This was purely a Nyumba ya Mumbi affair. The House of Mumbi had been rattled.

There was tension and anger in the room. The NSIS chief tabled two pieces of paper which he told the meeting had two explosive stories the Standard Group was planning to publish. This blogger has seen and read the two "articles" the Standard was alleged to be planning to publish.
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Bank Robbers Fled Into State House Nairobi, Gates Opened
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The first "article" was about how Kibaki, when he was the DP chairman and was vying for presidency in 1997, allegedly travelled to Southern Sudan to meet with Al Qaeda founder and world’s Number One terrorist Osama bin Laden to solicit funds for his presidential campaign.

In the second "article", the author was discussing Kibaki’s failing health in January and February 2003, shortly after he was sworn in as president. The “article” even quoted Raila Odinga saying there was going to be a snap election within the year (implying Kibaki was dying/would be dead to warrant a snap election).

What shocked this blogger was that the person who authored the two “articles” did not have any sense of journalism. They appeared like the raw copies readers often pen and send for mailbox consideration. The “articles” were written in poor English and had no news value and had broken all rules of journalism

The two “articles” were shallow in details, short pieces and were not quoting any authority or source. They were like opinion pieces. Judging from the journalistic expertise of this blogger, those “articles” were not written by a trained journalist and no serious newspaper could publish them in that form. The “articles” were highly seditious and lacked any proof and no editor in his right mind could even consider them for publication.
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How Kibaki's Government Was Paralyzed By State House Cartels
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According to Mr Gichangi, the two articles were leaked by an NSIS mole/agent at the Standard Group. The mole/agent claimed he downloaded the articles from their newsroom computers. This is why the police squad dismantled and took away computers from the Standard offices.

The Standard had previously published an exclusive explosive story about President Kibaki having a second wife, Mary Wambui. They had also published other stories that did not please State House.

Daily Nation, on the other side, had published an exclusive story revealing how President Kibaki had collapsed and hit his head against a staircase in State House leading to the highly publicized admission at the Nairobi Hospital during his early days as president. Then rumours hit the country that President Kibaki had been pushed off his wheel chair by his burly wife in her characteristic fury.
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According to our sources, the gathering was concerned the media had "grown big horns" and State House feared they were up to no good and they could publish more damaging material unless checked. There was great concern the media frenzy was aimed at humiliating the new president and exposing him to public ridicule. The two “articles” were tabled as evidence of how the media had overstepped its mandate. President Kibaki spoke less but he endorsed the decision to raid the offices of the Standard Group to pre-empt the publication of the two “articles” and to send a strong message to other media houses. President Kibaki was made to believe Kalenjin forces were ganging up and using the media to undermine his regime. He swallowed the bait.

Those present regarded Nation Media Group as somehow pro-Kibaki. Daily Nation had also been forced to denounce their story on Kibaki collapsing and offered an apology. It was also argued that attacking NMG would be disastrous because of the influence the media giant had in the country due to the Aga Khan factor.

The Standard Group was regarded as too hostile and it was seen as the voice of former President Moi, who was then in bad books with the Kibaki regime, his son, Gideon, William Ruto, and anti-Kibaki elements. There was suspicion that the Moi family – which had hand-picked and placed in key positions staff from the Kalenjin community at the Standard Group – could have been behind the scandalous reporting.

The meeting, under President Kibaki, instructed Mr Kamau to use any means at his disposal to stop the publication of the two “articles”.

Mr Michuki and Maj Gen Ali were at loggerheads and the meeting agreed the commissioner could not be trusted with the top secret plot. There was growing pressure from a section of Kibaki’s loyalists to sack Maj Gen Ali. Maj Gen Ali, who was fighting for survival, was close to the then Standard CEO Tom Mshindi. Raila Odinga was also baying for Maj Gen Ali’s blood after police shot dead three children and a milk vendor in Kisumu during protests over the Wako draft.
Maj Gen Ali rubbed Raila the wrong way when he claimed those killed wanted to raid Kondele police station and arrogantly said he had no apology over the shootings even after evidence showed police had shot dead innocent people. Raila was demanding sacking of the commissioner. Mr Michuki said Maj Gen Ali should be kept in the dark to avoid leakage of the information. The Standard raid offered Maj Gen Ali a lifeline as he leaked secrets of the Artur brothers and Raila softened his hard-line stance for the commissioner to go.

Mr Kamau was instructed to personally handpick loyal officers to do the job and make it so lean as to avoid any leakage. The officers who were approached were first warned of the deadly assignment ahead without details. Those who developed cold feet were left out. Finally, a squad of 15 officers, mainly from the dreaded Kanga Squad, was formed and rehearsed on the mission ahead. They held regular briefings with Mr Kamau. The squad received technical support from the two Artur brothers. The Artur brothers came up with the idea of wearing hoods to cover their faces. The Artur brothers coordinated the raid on the ground on that fateful March 2nd date.

The original plot was to bomb the entire I&M Building housing the Standard Group editorial department and KTN newsroom and studio and their printing press in Industrial Area. The hooded officers developed cold feet and opted for the “softer” way they carried the operations instead of bombing the entire premises. They feared the bombing idea could bring unrest in the country.

One of our sources believe the “articles” appeared to have been authored by Dr Alfred Mutua and planted at the Standard newsroom by NSIS agents/moles. NSIS claimed the copies were downloaded from computers at Standard Group offices. This gave President Kibaki the excuse to raid the media house.

Mr Michuki later confirmed the raid was a police operation and quipped: “If you rattle a snake, you must be prepared to be bitten by it.” The snake in this case was President Kibaki.


Other controversial articles on Michuki & Kibaki

Kibaki and his wives: Blame lies with Kibaki only