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Tuesday, March 03, 2009

President Calls Press Conference To Say He Only Has One Wife

The president hardly ever calls a press conference... but today he did.

So you would have naturally expected that what he had to say was of great national importance. Something really, really important.

Something to do with him finally addressing the rampant corruption in the grand coalition government (that we are told by John Michuki he is in full control of). Somebody would have probably speculated that he wants to announce the dissolving of the entire cabinet or some other equally significant decision.

Instead, flanked by a tearful first lady, the President of the republic of Kenya and the commander in chief of the armed forces called a press conference to tell Kenyans that he only has one wife. He then allowed his wife to threaten the press with another of her “raids” for daring to suggest that she has a co-wife.

Be careful because if your hard drive crashes you reduce the chances of successful data recovery by trying to revive the hard drive on your own. It is always a better idea to call in the experts right away.

Honestly I did not know whether to laugh or cry. This was totally and utterly unbelievable. Will somebody please wake me up from this nightmare, there is no way it can be happening. Not now.... How?

When the country is grappling with some serious problems including Kenyans dying of starvation, the president calls a press conference to discuss domestics? I really have no words this time.

Of course the whole storm seemed to have been triggered off by the comments of former Kabete MP Paul Muite yesterday over the raid on the Standard newspaper where property confiscated from the Media house is yet to be returned. Muite claimed that the raid had nothing to do with national security issues but had something to do with “the president and his two wives.” That last bit must have been what stirred the hornet’s nest. So much so that the first lady threatened to take people to court.

Interestingly I have never seen the government spokesman look so embarrassed. I mean even after the man releases his highly fictional accounts to the press he always keeps a straight face and never butts an eye lid. This time Dr Alfred Mutua and other State House staff looked visibly embarrassed and very uncomfortable as the president of the republic of Kenya embarrassed himself in full glare of TV cameras.

Kumekucha titbits: Avoid sitting for hours in a traffic jam on your way to the city centre from the airport. Simply book into a nice brand new budget hotel in the outskirts of Nairobi 5 minutes from the airport.

Everybody in Kenya is aware of the fact that Mwai Kibaki has paid dowry for one Mary Wambui. Indeed even as you read this her house is still being guarded by GSU personnel at the taxpayer’s expense. So who is this Wambui woman and why does she still cost the taxpayer money when the president has denied her and the children they had together?

If what the president is saying is true (and we presume it must be true because if a president can tell the nation lies in full glare of press cameras, then he has no business continuing to serve the public in any capacity even as the member of a board running a cattle dip in the village) then Mary Wambui should be immediately arrested for being an impostor and claiming to be the president’s wife. Surely if this is not done right away we will soon have hoardes of women swarming from the wood work claiming to be the president’s wife.

P.S. 87% of Kenyans in an NTV survey completed minutes ago, say that they do NOT believe the president when he says that he only has one wife. Jijazie……

Read this commentary in another Kenyan site and see the photograph. Is the ADC behind Kibaki actually crying in shame?


Anonymous said...

The truth is this man lost his head years gone. Its ok being in denial but surely this has gone too far. One wonders who called for the press conference. The first lady talked last, meaning this man is just there by name.
However the barb goes to kenyan journalists. They had the chance to ask pertinent questions that any man on the street is asking. What was that dear kenyans. Are these real journalists thirsty for news and ready to use all words to gather information. Two angry people are the easiest to get any information from.Ours are only content with writting notes. SHAME ON YOU


joe the choma man said...

Chris aka Chriso,
in your post you forgot to clarify how many wives you have. just curious you know...

UrXlnc said...


as much as i sympathise with their pain

this is deja vu all over again.

whereas there are other matters that required a presidential statement, he chose silence and for the 2nd time in as many "terms" and right on spot at about the same time, the familiar "family statement". not to say its not important, just wondering where his priorities are.

so whats next next will it be another fallout and further banana-isation vs orange-ism. the signs are all there ...

in the meantime .. tu ji enjoy...

Pointing at the KTN reporter, she said: “You are from KTN? Last night I nearly came to your offices to attack you the same way I did to Nation.

now if ever there was an admission of "guilt"

kenyangurl said...

Congrats to Kibaki for declaring this in public! It's about time first wives in Kenya were given this honour for their commitment to their marital vows. May Kibaki's fountain be blessed and may he rejoice in the wife of his youth.

Anonymous said...

Chris, you didnt even have to give this a post. I dont have to be commenting that u commented that the prezi denied that other woman. Shame on u and me and anyone else that commented on this post!

Anonymous said...

Joe the choma man,

Chris is a philander and a wife beater.

chola said...

This is can't is funny Lol.I have only one wife.
Mzee must have been corned, chunwad and slap

Anonymous said...

Next is Raila Odinga to come clean. He had been shagging Kikuyu beauties for years. Notably Esther Passaris and before that a woman called Wanjiru who was his mistress for a period of 9 years.

Anonymous said...

Joe the choma man,

Oh I meant, Chris is a philanderer (sleep with a lot of different women) and beats his wife to cover his tracks

Anonymous said...

Chris, Kibaki has set an example for all you to follow. You need to come clean as well. Declare who is your legal wife now!

Anonymous said...

What's this obsession with bedroom matters of the president? who the hell cares who the president shags or doesnt?

Muite was being naughty and he knew the expected reaction as far as Lucy is concerned. Muite is not so clean himself and corruption ghosts follow him anytime anybody says Kamlesh Pattni or Mbo-i- Kamiti Farmers Ltd.

I think Kenyan media failed the test when Lucy gave them the chance to ask questions. Do we lack someone in the mould of CNNs' Larry King or BBCs' hard talk host?

In such a rare opportunity, the journalists would have eased the presidents pain by not asking the marital questions but others and when in such foul mood he would have given vintage answers. David Frost used an opportunity like that with President Nixon and did what every other journalist and senate commitee had failed to do, get the man to tell the truth.

I think once in a while, it is good to see the president humbled but not in the manner we are all obsessed with his women. Even if it were your old man, you would let him hide his secret hata kama everyone can tell it is not a secret. We all have our illusions and the first family should be allowed to keep theirs.

Kenya is not in such a mess because Kibaki has one, two or three wives. Muite should not haul us back to the days when Lucy was running amok.He is no better than Ababu Namwaba and I think I can start to see a strategy where First lady is being used to provoke a reaction from Mzee.

Let the war begin, Muite might need an air ambulance and Kumekucha will pay for it.

John Maina said...

Only a fool would dispute that Kibaki and his wife are officially mentally incapacitated though not clinically diagnosed. Of which in such cases the individual day to day survival/functioning/decision making is highly dependant on medication and support networks.

The presidents state of mind best illustrates why Kenya is in such a mess and i highly doubt he is able to make rational judgement about problems afflicting the country. It may actually turn out to be a blessing in disguise that ODM and PNU are in same government because the opportunist in PNU would have fully maximised on the senile president incapacity and accelerated in running Kenya aground. PNUist have to watch out ODM-though themselves not saints, not to have their hands caught in the cookie jar.

Its comical watching the video but the sad reality is that Kenyans are yet to overcome challenges left behind by Kenyatta and Moi now Kibaki for the past 6 years has been adding more yet we talk of achieving vision 2030.

The question is why are the MP's via parliament not demanding that the illegitimate senile president is assessed on his fitness to hold office otherwise as Abdulahi Ahmednasir points in standard, Kenya is headed to the dogs in the near future.

Anonymous said...

The infamous media bill should be reintroduced and this time the media should be gagged once and for all. They have proved to all and sundry tht they are just a bunch of useless goons. They never get an audience with the president and here comes the gold mine, complete with a Q&A session from the president and their stupid selves were just left staring. Only three questions would have done it. These are: Who is Mary Wambui?, Is Winnie wa Mwai your daughter: Is Mary Wambui a government official, and if in what capacity, and if not why does she have more security that the Prime Minister.
On a different note, Kibaki might just be telling the truth. For the first time ever since this issue started I am actually giving the president the benefit of the doubt, unlike the media goons had a chance to confirm their so called truths but chose to hide behind their rumor mongering selves

Anonymous said...

John Maina, why are you trying so hard to impress?

Mai ma Nguku said...

I must admit I am impressed by John Maina. He must have taken Vikii's advice to go back to school and learn. His English and spelling has remarkably improved, and for once he has stopped attacking other bloggers and is now concentracting on commenting.
Honestly, he deserve a pat at the back.

Anonymous said...

kenya has already gone to the dogs!
surely something's got to give and soon.
what kind of future are our children going to inherit in that hopeless land?
folks we need a revolution asap.
we're dying of hunger, our economy is in shambles, no job prospects, poverty rules and this is the kind of press conference we get from our so called leader who in essence is really our employee.our taxes pay him.
wow!!!!and he is getting away with this type of BS day after day after day after day.

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

...okay i kinda laughed at first and then i got sad. I used to make jokes about these people including Moi when i lived in kenya but to be fair i went to wiki and checked out their ages. Shes close to 70 and hes like 78.

I kinda agree with your whole medical slant because she might be sick. Also it appears he cares about her and wants to show support. The scary thing is the irony of what is stressing them is such a trivial issue which could have been handled by their wont get better as we get closer to 2012....if they make it ...then they can retire in peace....because they need to.

Anonymous said...

Dear Kenyans, we are in a fix.

Kibaki is talking of one wife while ODM is asking for more power to steal.

Anonymous said...

After being allowed to have the head in the tent, the camel want to renegotiate to have the whole body alone in the tent. Ask for insane delusion and I will show you ODM.

Anonymous said...

He may be correct-one wife and a treasured mistress. By the way, mistresses are paid more now because there is no quarantee of inheriting anything after his death. If he is wise let him sample out, like Moi did and most mps are doing now. May he even visit Koinange Street. It is good for his blood circulation and mental functioning and thinking. Let him him cheat like normal men.

Anonymous said...

We all collectively agree that our country is right now with the dogs. and the canines wont spare us, its us to save us. Period. So the shouting matches must now stop forthwith. we must now act. acting is kiping the pen (tho mightier than the sword) and reching for the sword (albeit not literally)- Action now is what we need. Which one man will stand in the Gap?? We have read enaff on the dailies, of what is kenya, of where we r or where we are heading........We know wat kinda pp are in that August house (by the way why August, from wat i know of August, its the month all horrible things happen, sacrifices, deaths, etc - any connection)?? We need someone to stand in the gap, stand up to be counted this time literally) and guide us out of this quagmire before its too late. Anyone home??? REmember the bible, just one Man, we shall follow.

rogger said...

What amazes me about this whole First Family – press conference circus is what it had to do with all those government officials that were present. What did Kibaki’s domez have to do with National security that Ali had to be there? I suspect domestic violence and your guess of the culprit and the offended is as good as mine. To make matters worse our commander in chief delivers this prime message on national tv standing behind the presidential court of arms.

This is funny. Our first family is pushing Nyambane and Churchill out of their jobs.

Mapengo said...

The whole thing is stupid. Who cares???!

Anonymous said...

It is indeed asinine. A first family should be above dignifying such matters with any reaction .. but as we know, there is nothing beneath Emilio, his family and lieutenants and his followers. Priorities upside down, country in disarray and this is the first presidential press conference of the year!!! Total dysfunction in Kenya .... a manifestation of the sick country headed by her sick leaders!

Nimo said...

Total vioja!!!!...and sad tena sana...What kind of BS is that? wonder the world continues looking down on our countries coz seriously...a press conference to talk about personal issues leaves a hell lot to be desired!!!!...
I don't think any words I write will even start to describe the disgust I share with most Kenyans!
Tafadhali....Please...stop this madness and get to real issues!...We still want "Najivunia kuwa Mkenya" to live...lakini right now it's too shaky a ground to live to that slogan!!
Sadness only when I think of my dear Kenya right now!!!!

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