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Sunday, March 29, 2009

Do MPs Do Desperate Things After Losing Their Seats?

Kumekucha exclusive

Barney (not his real name) is an old school friend. We were in primary school together and we have been meeting on and off over the years. But we have never really sat down to talk about stuff.

All that changed the other day when we were forced into a situation where we found ourselves in the same place stuck and stranded for at least 2 hours. Life is hectic and forces one to be constantly on the move but this time round we were forced by circumstances to alight from that speeding train called life and play catch up for about two and a half hours. It was fascinating.

Wanjala's "sweetie" Joyce Akinyi: Is she his link to his new international business?

But for the purposes of this post, I will talk about Barney’s divorce to this wealthy businesswoman wife. A young girl actually (barely in her mid-twenties who used to globe-trot all over the world on business). She loved him and barney liked her a lot. She was a breath of fresh air in her life after his stormy aborted first marriage. Barney is also in business but it seemed that his girlfriend’s business brought in a lot more money and much faster too. Still the relationship thrived and the two even had a kid together pending making everything official. You see I have known Barney for years and he is one of the few guys I know who does not get intimidated with his woman earning more than him.

But what brought a strain into the relationship (just before the kid came) was when Barney made an astounding discovery about the kind of his business his sweetheart was into. She was what one would call "a courier." She carried drugs around the world concealed in her luggage for a very handsome fee. It was easy money and Barney tells me she told him it was better than being a prostitute.

Serious problems emerged in the relationship when Barney started putting pressure on her to shut down her “business.” After all he was well able to provide for both of them as they looked around for something else for her to do.

But she was “hooked” to the business and the inevitable happened. She was caught and charged. Barney has his contacts in this town and he made his enquiries and was told that Kshs 800,000 was enough to bail her out. So Barney went to the women’s remand prison and told his wife that all she needed to do was to get 800,000 bob from her boss and “the problem” would disappear. Incidentally the girl was several months pregnant with Barney’s child at the time of her arrest. 800,000 bob in her line of business was of course no problem and so she sent word to her boss. Guess who her boss was? The current girl friend to one Mr Wanjala. Jijazie.

Let me stop the story there by saying that the woman got off with a very short jail term without any bribing (her visible pregnancy must have helped). The reason why no bribe was paid was because the 800,000 was released by the girl's boss, but somebody blew it and failed to deliver it. Currently Barney’s girlfriend is serving a very long jail term for the same offence (she was arrested again shortly after her release when she was caught red handed with a huge consignment).

Now I have just read in this mornings' newspapers that former Bundalangi MP Raphael Wanjala and his controversial sweetheart Joyce Akinyi (you will remember that their story was first broken here in Kumekucha by our won Phil) have been released from their Indian prison where they have spent the last six months (including Christmas day). Read full story of Wanjala’s arrival back in Kenya yesterday.

Based on the story I have just told you, the minute I read the latest Wanjala saga I asked myself what business is Mr Wanjala is into these days after he lost his lucrative parliamentary seat. What business is this that requires a person to carry large amounts in cash in US dollars in this day and age where people don’t even carry so much cash around in the streets of Nairobi? You just zap cash or Mpesa it if you don't qualify for a VISA debit or credit card.

And that question led me to another thought. What kind of monsters are we breeding paying our legislators the outrageous amounts of cash we pay them for doing very little if anything? What will they do when they lose their parliamentary seats and need to sustain the lavish living that they have gotten used to (both from their salaries and from the deals they make like the recent blood maize deal starring Jirongo, Ruto Namwamba and company)? What will they do when easy money is not so easily accessible anymore?

Food for though on this Monday morning (Kenyan time)… is it not? Are we increasing our already high crime rate by paying people outrageous wages to do nothing?

And by the way knowing how corruption and impunity is rampant in our leaders, is it surprising that cabinet ministers and MPs are at the top of the list for committing this serious criminal offence?


Anonymous said...

Kenyatta University closed

Daily Nation, By BENJAMIN MUINDIPosted Monday, March 30 2009 at 09:45

Kenyatta University has been closed indefinitely after students went on the rampage Sunday night.
In a memo posted at the university notice board Monday morning, Vice Chancellor Prof Olive Mugenda has ordered students to vacate the hostels following destruction of school property.
The students were due to write their end of semester exams starting Monday while the teaching practice session was to begin mid next month.
"We are now disillusioned by the goings-on in the campus," said Ms Rosy Ndinda, a Fourth Year student who had only two units to complete her studies.
According to the student leader Fred Kimaru, the VC "has overstepped her boundaries by dissolving the current student union and replacing it with the former one."
"The students feel they do not have a voice anymore, or a link, between the management and them."
But the lecturers are equally dissatisfied with the leadership in the university.
Universities Academic Staff union secretary general Dr Muga K'olale has said the dons are threatened to talk about issues that are affecting them.
"It is a crisis...I don’t know what has become of higher education in the country," he said.

M-Pesa said...

Thanks for the brief stint in an Indian jail for one Kenyan bigger shot. Imagine Wanjala being taken to a Nairobi court? He would have mobilised his fellow tribesmen to jam the city in hired buses while waving twigs and shouting "They want to finish our tribe!" The AG would have intervened and halted the case for 5 years while awaiting "constitutional interpretations" for Wanjala's human rights. If that didn't work, well- u guessed it right- the file would have just vanished in thin air.

Everyone in Kenya, even young kids, know only too well that if you are rich in this country unlike India, there's simply no way you can go to jail unless you are a dimwit refusing to play ball!

Just look at the Anglo Leasing and Goldenberg scumbags who grace our TV screens daily lecturing good morals to the nation? Forget Triton, Maize scandals, Goldenberg, Dela Rue, etc, no one will ever be jailed. Another scandal pops up to cover old one. A time tested formula thanks to our collective amnesia. How patahetic! How sad! Never mind! It happpens in all banana republics!

Anonymous said...

Wanjala's sweetie Joyce Akinyi, is that how Kenyan women hate themselves they can bleach their skin to that extent?
Have you seen her hands? Black black like coal. This is an absolute travesty and an insult to black people.

M-Pesa said...

I almost wept for Wanjala's 5 months ordeal in an Indian jail without seeing anything close to a bikini. You see, the guy is a real ladies man who happens to pull the honeyz like a magnet thanks to his Hummer. But rumour doing round the city is that he was made a prison bitch by ruthless Nigerian gangsters in that Jail. Ouuch, now that backside hurts.....

M-Pesa said...

And what happened just before the elections when Wanjala's GK was stopped by the police who found tons of rungus, machetes, bows and arrows all being ferried to kill and maim political rivals? When he was ordered to go and record a statement by a senoir police officer, he yelled on a live TV " I'm a very senior person in Government! I don't have the time!"
It looks like there's one law for them....and one for us!

Anonymous said...

You are wrong Chris. That old woman Akinyi cannot be "sweet". The younger, the tightier down there and therefore the "sweeter." I know you didn't know that Chris.

Her relationship with Wanjala is purely "business." Wanjala was to provide contacts for protection.

Anonymous said...

The old Chris is BACK!!

Immensely entertaining and well written post, this.

Welcome back and please don't dissapear in boring posts again.

Anonymous said...

That is why you should give the MP's a salary of 450,000 monthly, plus one saloon car (toyota) and a 4x4 (no bmw, mercedes range, cayenne etc). They in turn must publicly declare any expenses they claim, and when they leave office, they can get a decent pension but they cannot work anywhere else whilst they are in office.

Or you pay them 60,000, but they can earn a income elsewhere, subject to strict regulations

One Wife Man said...

Chriso aka Chris,
just as absolute power corrupts absolutely so does absolute(read tax free)salary corrupt absolutelys

A then assistant minister in the previous Dr.Kibaki administration(TIP) admitted assistant ministers did nothing all day except drink tea and read local newspapers in their offices-no wonder this same man nowadays appears in the same media at the drop of a hat even though he lost his parliamentary seat in the last election of 207-i'm sure he misses that outrageous wage and basking in the public limelight all for doing nothing

Anyway, let us not be jealous of others Chris-some people do need to carry fat wads of paper money stuffed in their pockets on a daily basis as it is their job to do so e.g. gangsters after conducting one of their daring daylight robberies

Sayra said...


At the point where Adam & Eve were kicked out of the garden of Eden everything on earth stopped been free. That is to say that for everything that you need some input from you is required ... in proportion to the thing that you require.

So when one tries to get something/big-thing out of doing nothing the repercussions are gravious. You just need to look at that 20yr old kid idling around in the house waiting for the parents or other siblings to do everything. Who should we point the figure at? of coz all should carry their own crosses.

That reminds you of the culture we have so well nurtured of rewarding criminals and the lazybones. And we have to get rid of that culture and 'preach' the importance of working 4 what you want. Till then we got to live with the fact that the likes of Wanjala and almost all of our MPs will be with us in a long time.

Anonymous said...

chris is writing pornography lol...

Anonymous said...

Chris does desperate things after giving wrong predictions about Ruto;

1) He Calls Sam Okello and Taabu deity aka 'Born Again Molasses Raila..bluff after telling the whole world that their corruption is still smaller than goldenberg.
2) He starts writing porno

too bad his target of 100 comments is hitting a low of 20 per post recently.....

wakwito, wimuseo?

Anonymous said...

I thought the Hummer that Wanjala now drives belongs to or used to belong to Akinyi's estranged husband

Anonymous said...

Desperate times call for desperate measures!!

One Wife Man said...

of late a video keeps appearing and disappearing just beneath the main posts-am i seeing things or is this blog evolving into You Watched This?

Taabu said...

Kwenda we SERIAL MUTANT. Ati now you see things below the post with your MULTIPLICITY OF EMOTIONS. Bure kabisa and you continue to WATCH ALONE.

One Wife Man said...

i'm all for hi-tech KK blog but please if Eto wants to be ALONE mta do???
poor ManU fear of the unknown equals kununua L.A.V. lakini wapi

Anonymous said...

Her name is actually Teresa Ochieng.

I pity the kids. Both parents are criminals.

Anonymous said...

Pity that the government worked juu chini to have these criminals released while so many kenyans languish in jails abroad. Now, the wanjala fellow who cannot keep his dick under lock and key for his many wives(legitimate ones) is back and smiling like a celebrity and ready to pick up from where they left. How pathetic.

Anonymous said...


you should be asking your buddies Kibaki an Uhuru they are the biggest thieves and thugs in Kenya

why wAste time with a small timer like wanjala??

shame on you !!!

stop being selective on who the crooks in Kenya are
1. Anglo leasing
2. Transcentury
3. Grand Regency
4. Charter house looting's
5 add the Airport(muhoho crook)
and many more.


Anonymous said...

On KU riots

"I agree. I think there are a few things going on:

1. Money. Yes Money. The Administration wants the students to pay their fees and sit for quick exams so that they can leave room for parallel students who actually make the UNI money.

2. Money. Yes again Money. The students are poor, just as anyone else. They can't pay their fees on time, and they don't want to be denied exam results because of lack of money.

3. Lack of Leadership. Miss Olive the VC could have opened doors for dialogue on this issue a long time ago.

She also did something unthinkable: Allowing riot police to get into female hostels really is an unforgiveable error in judgement. Who know how many of our daughters were raped in there? That to me is unforgiveable."


Anonymous said...

Dialogue over what--school fees?
er...maybe, esp if there are no criteria/standards/methods to determine the cost of education at any given time...
But nothing justifies the orgy of destruction. Protest doesnt have to be violent--when will kenyans get that into their friggin thick skulls?
Bure kabisa!

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