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Friday, August 31, 2007

Leaked Kroll Report And Looted Moi Billions Puts Moi On Mobutu Sese Seko Level

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This is what citizen journalism is all about. Earlier today somebody left links in this blog about a leaked report by a leading international private investigations organization called Kroll.

By the time I got to the wiki page, somebody had deleted it. That person does not understand the way the web functions and this was an exercise in futility. I am sure another copy will turn up on the web very soon.

The report and extracts copied from it are shocking to say the least (although I have said a lot of similar things in this blog for months now...

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ODM-Kenya: What Impact Will Its' Presidential Candidate Now Have?

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Stephen Kalonzo Musyoka this afternoon beat his only challenger Prof Julia Ojiambo by garnering 2,835 votes against 791 votes to become the ODM-Kenya presidential candidate. The action was at Kasarani Stadium (some have christened it Kiserani—meaning controversy).

Tomorrow the other Orange party, ODM original, will hold a similar exercise at the same venue to come up with their presidential candidate. They will have a tough act to follow because the ODM-Kenya elections were extremely well organized.

It is expected that Mr Musyoka will seek an alliance with another political party before facing the general elections and he has said so himself several times...

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2007 General Elections Will Be Held Before Christmas

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Several quarters have confirmed that the President has said that he would like Kenyans to enjoy their Christmas holidays this year without any approaching elections over their heads. In other words, he is looking for an election date before Christmas.

Analysts believe that it would have to be shortly after Jamuhuri day (independence day) which falls on December 12th. This makes our countdown a little complicated, (does it not, Bwana Luke?)

Since 1992 and the re-introduction of multi-party politics, the general elections have traditionally been held shortly after Christmas and before the New Year. Incidentally this kind of arrangement allows for maximum participation as most Kenyans are in their rural homes at that time. However holding the elections...

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Carjackings have Ended In Nairobi—Mutua

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In his weekly press briefing this morning, government spin-doctor, Alfred Mutua said that carjackings were now a thing of the past in Nairobi and no longer exist. What???

While it is true that they have greatly reduced, making such a sweeping statement is surely premature and highly misleading from a government spokes person. More so when we all know that many other types of violent crime (hardly reported in the mainstream media, and we know why) continue just as before.

This is a cheap campaign gimmick.

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What Is The Police Commissioner Doing In Osaka

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Is the police commissioner recruiting speedy would-be officers for the police force in Osaka? Or what is the Maj General Hussein Ali doing with the Kenyan athletes currently in that Japanese city?

Sports Minister Maina Kamanda is with the team in Osaka and was seen on TVs all over the world enthusiastically hugging that young supu who won the 800 metres, gold medal in the ladies event...

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President Kibaki: Uncomfortable In The Midst Of Sweat And Bad Breath

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I saw something the other day, which did not quite make sense. There was this man (definitely in his 50s) cruising around town in a car that had extra wide tyres, fancy rims and very loud music—too loud for somebody over 20.

The mystery was solved when a friend explained that the man was a well-known Baba Sukari (sugar daddy) who preys on school girls and very young girls in town, young enough to be his grand daughters.

This is a terrible thing to say but I marveled at how he understood his target market so well. No young girl in her right mind would hesitate to be given a lift in such a car and would then fall easy prey to the evil man's other machinations.

President Kibaki and his administration are the very opposite. Every day they display a complete lack of knowledge or understanding of their main target market (the common man with a voting card) and what their aspirations and desires are.

The common man gets upset being preached to about economic growth more so when...

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English Premiership Soccer And The Ugly Side Of Professionalism

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I have been reviewing video clips showing how Manchester Uniteds' Wayne Rooney got his foot fractured and another one showing a crude tackle aimed at Christiano Ronaldo that fortunately missed its' real mark.

I am convinced beyond any shadow of doubt that both incidents illustrate the ugly side of professionalism in what is by far the most competitive soccer league the world has ever seen.

Where there is professionalism and competitiveness, you will always find managers and decision makers who are prepared to do anything. And I mean anything, to be able to get an edge over the competition. A friend the other day was joking trying to imagine what kind of instructions a defender would be given by a manager eager to get ahead...

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Thursday, August 30, 2007

What Moi Will Tell The Kalenjin In Secret To Get Them To Vote Kibaki

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Recent surveys have clearly shown that most Kenyans do not believe that Moi's declared support for Kibaki is inconsequential as some of our dear readers and commentators think.

Others here have said that Rift Valley has changed too much for Moi to have any major impact on what happens in the next few weeks and ultimately in the general elections.

Of course all this is ignoring one of Moi's most effective secret weapons which he has used for years with great success. And this is his uncanny ability to pass on a clear message directly to the electorate that does not pass through the press where we can all read and analyze and ridicule it.

So the question any serious analyst should be asking themselves is what Moi will tell Kalenjin voters. Let us first admit that selling anything Kikuyu in the Rift Valley is a very difficult thing to do, so Moi will need to be very aggressive determined and pull out all stops or checks he may have earlier placed in front of himself in the coming vicious winner takes all battle.

It is not what Moi says in public that will have an impact but what is said in secret away from press coverage...

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The Political Circus That Is ODM

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Guest post by Kinuthia WaMwangi

For almost five years, some leaders have carried on a sustained hate campaign punctuated with vitriol, contempt and fractious politics.

It is not difficult to imagine that this has something to do with breach of trust based on a piece of paper known as the Memorandum of Understanding between individuals who agreed to share power in a certain fashion back in 2002.

It may also be based on a feeling of self-loss after an individual scored an own goal by uttering the phrase "Kibaki Tosha." This quixotic self-deceit that one denied oneself the chance to be in State House undermines the intelligence of voters who overwhelmingly chose the person they wanted to occupy it.

Unfortunately, the deceit was packaged and delivered to Kenyans who swallowed it lock, stock and barrel. It has been used to peddle a regime-change campaign full of vitriol.

FAST BACKWARDS TO EARLY 2003
The media led the way by praising the rational distribution of government posts according to diverse national interests, but...

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The Moi You Don't Know

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Most Kenyans do not really know Moi and what the man is capable of. A little reminder is in order.

Moi the Liar
Daniel Moi's performance denying any involvement in the murder of former foreign minister Robert Ouko was the kind of performance that would have won a Hollywood oscar.

"My government has absolutely nothing to do with the Ouko murder," he told the nation with a straight face. In fact he looked fairly angry and the one who had been wronged in the whole matter. Clap. Clap. Clap.

The former president still uses the same straight face to tell all sorts of lies.

Moi The Hypocrite
These days Daniel Moi gets very worked up whenever he is talking about ODM. His favorite catchphrase in describing the party—this is nothing more than a tribal party. By extension he also means that Raila Odinga is a tribalist. But hold on a minute sir...

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Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Will Moi's Second Project Work?

The First project, Uhuru Kenyatta failed miserably in 2002. Has the former president and self proclaimed professor of politics learnt anything?


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Former President Moi still does things the way he used to do them during the 24 years he ruled Kenya.

For instance we know that he made his mind a long time ago to back President Mwai Kibaki but yesterday he gave the impression that he had thought about the matter long and hard and really agonized before finally reaching a decision.

He however stressed that he would remain in Kanu and that he would be actively campaigning for the party in the run up to the forthcoming general elections. The former president who now walks with a distinct limp (although he has stubbornly refused to use a walking stick, at least in public) moves much more slowly these days and hardly looks like he is up to the task of indulging in a rigorous campaign, even if that campaign will only be within the borders of the expansive Rift Valley Province.

This morning all Kenyans newspapers are analyzing the impact of Moi's declaration of support for the incumbent. I have deliberately avoided reading any of them at least not before I write my own analysis of it. One of the reasons why Kumekucha is so popular is because we DO NOT recycle information from the daily newspapers like many other Kenyan blogs do and always like to give our own independent perspective.

Moi's move now clearly shows us what President Kibaki's game plan is. Although there are those in the opposition who see Kibaki as Moi's game plan and in fact his project in the upcoming elections, just like he had the Uhuru project in the run up to the 2002 elections...

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3,000 Metres Steeplechase Mystery Deepens

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No other sporting event in history has been so dominated by a single nation and Kenya stamped her authority and dominance in this event in Osaka yesterday with a stunning Kenya one, Kenya two, and Kenya three performance in a clean sweep of the gold, silver and bronze medals.

I could not contain my tears as the 3 smiling flag draped athletes did a lap of honor. It was all too much for me and I believe many Kenyans when the national anthem filled the stadium. For that brief magical moment no Kenyan would want to think of tribe or political inclination. Kenya was one nation, delighted and celebrating a stunning victory on a competitive world stage.

What is it with Kenyans and this race? Mention this event anywhere in the world and you will be told that it is the Kenyan race. Several research projects have been undertaken to try and unearth the mystery behind this dominance...

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First Lady Lucy Forces President Kibaki To Walk 3 Kilometers In The Heat And Humidity Of Mombasa

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The president had waved to the crowds at Mwembe Tayari and turned to go back into his presidential limousine. The door had even already been held open for him. Then suddenly first Lady Lucy blocked his path and gestured indicating that they take a walk. That walk in the blistering Mombasa heat and humidity ended up being a 3-kilometer trek to State House Mombasa. At one point, it was clear that the president—heavily dressed in his warm suit—was straining and pushing himself to the limits to keep walking.

First Lady Lucy on the other hand looked like she was enjoying herself immensely.

The problem with the first couple is that prior to the president being elected president the first lady took no interest whatsoever in her husband's political activities. Everybody knew that it was the president's other wife, Mary Wambui who was politically active. But when President Kibaki was swept into power, she suddenly became a domineering presence on the scene and everybody was forced to suddenly adjust drastically to accommodate her. Those who did not adjust quickly enough like one Matere Keriri quickly found themselves thrown very far away from their close proximity to the president. Everybody knows that you do not under any circumstances contradict the first lady.

That is why, although it was not...

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Can A Man Live On Oranges Alone?

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Guest post by Michael Too

Living on oranges alone
Yes! Kenya as a nation is back to its highes heats in Politics.

We have President Kibaki in power, struggling to retain leadership. Behind him is a self proclaimed professor of politics, Mr. Moi (Read 24 years in power), emerging strongly and drumming support for an unnamed party and condenming ODM. On the other hand Mr. Raila and his allies are moving swiftly to every part and corner of this great nation trying to pasuade Kenyans with oranges that under his leadership, things will be fine, very fine, finer than before. Unlike during the referamdum, where we got full oranges, this time, we are getting half if not split oranges.

Where did Robert Go?
Kenya lost a big brother named Roba (Hon. Robert Ouko). The only professor in politics will not like this mentioned. It was always na hiyo ni maendeleo even if a cabinet minister goes mising for several days. We lost an inteligent Mboya in almost a similar way Roba left us. Bishop Muge, Mr. Seronei name it-this list is endless. When former Baba wa Taifa goes round telling us to vote so and so and not so and so, in other words, he is reminding us of all unmentionale things that happened during his era Kwa hivyo afyate mdomo wake na aendelee kujienjoy kwa retirement.

Story ya mamluki?
Given a chance, i'm quite sure Mr. Agwambo will vivvidly address this matter perfectly well if he

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Amendment of Retirement Benefits Act – Open letter to Hon. Paul Muite

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James W. Wang’ondu Nganga
P.O. Box 536
Njoro – 20107
Kenya

28/08/2007

Amendment of Retirement Benefits Act – Open letter to Hon. Paul Muite

Dear Mheshimiwa Paul Muite

This letter serves to remind you about your commitment to move an amendment to the Retirement Benefits Act to enable those of us who retired on or after 1st January 2006 to draw the balance of our pensions, and not therefore have to wait until we reach the age of 55 years.

I am one of several affected by the law enacted by former finance minister David Mwiraria and was therefore very excited to read about your proposal to move for an amendment to the Act because I am in dire straits like many others. Both my matatus are grounded and my wife, two school going sons and myself are now heavily relying on our two daughters based in Denmark.

This is not fair on the two young ladies who are in their early twenties.

I am to blame to a very big extent because of silly investment blunders I made in the...

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Monday, August 27, 2007

Kenyan's Little Known Sick Criminal World

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A while back, somebody sent me a crazy story about a serial rapist/violent robber who specialized in armed robberies at homes in certain Nairobi suburbs. According to this informant this sick thug's "signature" was to rape a man's wife as the husband was forced to watch.

He also said that the man usually wore a mask but always had unprotected sex with his victims and yet he was believed to be HIV positive.

I did not know quite what to make of it, because this was really sick. I had not even heard of it in other parts of the world where there are many sick criminals. Such a story had not even emerged from that rape capital of Africa, namely South Africa. So I ignored the story and did not pursue it nor use it here because I usually like to verify my stories as much as I possibly can.

Now this weekend from a rather unlikely source, I found out that actually such a criminal was...

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The Untold Story Of Mrs Weru And The Karatina Tourist Lodge

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What was Mumbi Ngaru, a well-known ODM activist really up to at the now famous Karatina Tourist Lodge when she led the Raila Odinga entourage there? What was she seeking to achieve. Should presidential hopeful Raila Odinga trust people like her in future?

Those are the questions that analysts who know the facts behind the ugly incident are asking.

Investigations by Kumekucha have unearthed a set-up that was engineered by Mumbi Ngaru at the now famous hotel. Or was it just political naivety at work?

The whole idea was to get a newspaper headline reading; "Kibaki In-Law Welcomes Raila And ODM To Nyeri." Instead Mrs Weru, who was alerted of what was going on by somebody in the ODM party (no doubt a traitor or mole) decided that she much preferred the headline; "Raila And ODM Evicted From Nyeri Hotel." Wouldn't you?

Imagine the damage that would...

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Where Do Musalia Mudavadi's Loyalties Lie?

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In 2002, Musalia Mudavadi made a very painful decision which he knew would lose him the elections. He decided to stick with Moi during an hour of need for Kanu and the old man. For that decision he was hurriedly appointed Vice President and went into the record books as the shortest-serving VP in the history of Kenya.

Now Mr Mudavadi is very upset at the rumours doing the rounds that as soon as he loses his bid to be the presidential candidate in ODM, he will head straight back to mama na baba Moi. A visibly angry Mudavadi told the Mombasa people that those rumours were nothing short of ridiculous. But are they?

Would Mudavadi really refuse to give Baba Gidi a helping hand? He did as he was told 5 short years ago, what should stop him doing the same this time round? You see the Mudavadis and the Mois go a long way back. Musalia's dad, Moses Sabstone Mudamba Mudavadi once promoted Daniel Moi to a P3 teacher and Moi never forgot. In fact Misalia and former president Moi are related through marriage.

It is very possible that the so called "leaked story" of Moi's strategy for Rift Valley involving the Luhya community could be pressure on Raila Odinga to say Musalia Tosha. I say this because Moi's strategy has never "leaked" before...

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Can The Kenyan With An American Mother End Up In The White House?

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Other African countries really envy Kenyans. You see in African customs the father determines the nationality of a person and many Africans see Democratic American presidential hopeful Barrack Obama as a Kenyan.

Ironical really when most blacks in American see him as more of a white candidate than one who can address the issues of the African Americans.

Anyhow I was a little sick of reading so many self-righteous uninformed opinions of Obama's chances in Kenyan blogs declaring early that he stands absolutely no chance, that I decided to ask a native American friend who has been following elections in America for close to a half a century now. Her reply astounded me and gave me a rare glimpse into the political situation in the United States in relation to the next president.

I asked a straight question; does Obama have a fighting chance to win the democratic nomination and the election after that?


Her answer;

Unfortunately, I can't call this one. I personally don't like Hillary, and hope that Obama has a chance...

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Sunday, August 26, 2007

Sunday Nation Surprise?

Regular readers of this blog must have found today’s Sunday Nation rather interesting and one would be excused for thinking that we are working together.

Nothing of the sort is happening. In fact many respectable Kenyans including those in the media don’t think much of this popular blog and yet stealing an idea or two is no big deal (Tom Alwaka of Citizen, at least you make an attempt to recycle the headlines although the recent one on Raila was a wee-bit too close to the info we produced here).

Kumekucha is a team effort and our commentators here supply a lot of information and plenty of ideas too. Newcomers should ignore the jeers which I’ve learnt to ignore. For instance as recently as a few months ago when I insisted that retired President Moi was going to be a major factor in the upcoming elections, many of the comments were abusive jeers. Now the mainstream press do not want to discuss anything else, because it is true that you cannot be a dictatorial president for 24 years and have no influence.

Over a year ago I carried this post that I have re-pasted below. I re-read it today and enjoyed it immensely and I trust that you will feel the same as you as you read through it.

I have a hot exclusive I am working on for tomorrow, so kindly bear with me, will you?

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Will Young Unknown Candidate Kill Giants In Cherangany?

He told Kumekucha:

"Campaigns for this seat were devoid of money issues for well close to a year (I began working on it early last year). Towards the end of last year, however, some politicians in the area monetarized it. Where previously one would address audiences without them asking to be paid, grave issues were now overlooked and comparisons made over who had what. We had a sad situation developing in the process, where discussions on the issues that mattered were becoming rather muted. In the main, however, my campaign has been encouraged by the increasingly informed and decisive Cherangany voter who comes up to me to say kula ni kwa nani, lakini kura ni kwako. In a sense, therefore, we are glad others are burning their cash on our behalf - one of them is spending an estimated Kshs. 200,000 on hand-outs and fund-raisers on a rather regular basis. We want to hope the voters will have it in their heart to keep their heads at the end of the day."

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Saturday, August 25, 2007

Most Complex Presidential Elections Ever, Coming Up

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I have learnt in life that the best policy is to keep things as simple. This is true in everything you handle in this life.

The way things stand, this year's presidential election is going to be the most complex ever.

For instance the current MP for Marakwet East, Mrs Linah Chebii Kilimo in her defection announcement this week only announced a defection in the presidential candidate she is going to support. She did not indicate which party she would use to seek re-election. However she ruled out Narc Kenya.

There is a very high possibility that Narc Kenya will probably not even bother to market itself in most of the Rift Valley and will instead leave its' allies like Kanu to sort out things in the expansive province.

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Kumekucha's Impossible Job

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In the stories I carried yesterday analyzing what motivation Moi may have in fighting tooth and nail to make sure that Raila does not see the inside of State House, I mentioned that the former president's aides believe that they are averting bloodshed because some radical but influential presidential advisors have sworn that they will hand over power to anybody else but Raila.

Many of my dear readers including a very close friend interpreted the story as evidence that I am supporting Raila and the revelation was probably supposed to draw sympathy for the ODM presidential hopeful. It is no secret that members of the house of Mumbi are extremely sensitive to any criticism on one of their own (I have noted the trend since I launched this blog), but what I want us all to investigate is why most of them tend to feel this way.

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Kamukunji Is No Man's land For Norman

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Rowdy Kamukunji constituents do not want to hear a single word from their current MP Norman Nyagah. They loudly jeered and shouted him down during the Narc celebration rally at the historic Kamukunji grounds last weekend. Several times, he tried in vain to speak and even bravely attempted to shout above the din, however it proved impossible and he had no alternative but to sit down dejected.

It is now very clear that Kamukunji constituency is no man's land for Norman. One wonders how the poor guy will campaign against a very crowded field of eager candidates that is still growing by the day. One option would be for him to relocate elsewhere in Nairobi (but where?) or alternatively head back to Gacoka (where the situation will be much worse because apart from his big brother seeking re-election, inside information has confirmed to this blogger that long-serving and respected former NCCK chair, Mutava Musyimi is also eyeing that parliamentary seat and what's more, he has the full blessings and backing of State House. That will surely make the little matter of a Narc nomination extremely complex for Norman.

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Daily Newspapers In Big Trouble As Circulation Falls Like A Stone

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My recent investigations indicate that executives at the leading daily newspapers in the country are extremely worried over the recent behavior of newspaper circulation.

Let me give you a little background. Usually in election years, newspapers tend to report huge windfall profits as election fever grips the country. This has not happened this time round. If anything both the two leading daily newspapers have been struggling to sell a respectable number of newspapers daily.

What is really worrying is that the editorial costs of covering the elections usually run into millions and the newspapers have never had any problems covering it because of the usual windfall circulation profits that start pouring in early in the year.

And falling circulation is not entirely their fault. The dwindling purchasing power of ordinary Kenyans that has now made a newspaper a luxury that most cannot afford, is the main culprit. Then technology has wrecked havoc. Lifestyles have actually been turned upside down by technology. For example in the 80s the first thing I would do when I got up in the morning was to turn on the radio. Why?

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How The Nairobi Star Lost Its' Soul In A Crisis

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So what happens to the smaller newspapers when the big boys are "bleeding?" Answer; things are worse for them.

My informed calculations indicate that the recently launched Nairobi Star is "bleeding" and "bleeding very badly."

It was assumed when this baby was on the drawing boards that the huge popularity of KissFM would lift the newspaper above the horrifying daily expenses of doing a full color newspaper without your own printing press. It is very clear that certain structural mistakes which were made when the paper was launched have come back to haunt them.

For instance full color may be desirable in all the pages, but it does not sell newspapers on its' own. Content does and the Nairobi Star does not have very much of it.

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What I Would Do If I Was Given The Chance To Turn Around The Nairobi Star

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I have devoted most of my adult life to understanding newspapers and why they make or lose money. In that time I have launched no less than seven newspapers either for myself or others. They say the best captain to sail with is the one who has been shipwrecked because he knows where all the rocks are. I am that captain but I have also been involved in the sensational turnaround of a monthly business magazine that was losing a lot of money.

Little wonder that I was able to easily transfer my talents online to run successful moneymaking blogs, such as this one you are reading.

Here's what I would do if I were given a chance to turn around the Nairobi Star. My hope is that those involved with the newspaper will pick up an idea or two that they can use.

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Friday, August 24, 2007

Moi's Secret Plan To Demolish Raila's Presidential Ambitions

I am told that today's Nairobi Star has an interesting albeit very brief story about Moi's secret plan to destroy Raila Odinga's chances of ascending to the presidency. I am a little surprised because that was the exact information I was going to share today and I have a little more information than the Nairobi Star, thanks to my faithful team of informants who are the real power of this blog.

The Rift Valley is one place that no presidential contender can afford to take lightly. Not only are there a very high number of votes in the province but the province also boasts of the highest number of parliamentary seats. Moi and his cronies seem to be pretty sure that they hold sway in Rift Valley and both Baba Gidi and Gidi himself (reputed to be the richest Kenyan and the second richest respectively) are hatching a plot to neutralize Raila Odinga's popularity in the province.

The plan is to position...

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What Is Moi's Real Motivation?

There is an emerging debate as to what former President Moi's real motivation in wanting to do everything to deny Raila the presidency is.

Raila supporters say that the day Raila is sworn in at as the fourth president of Kenya at Uhuru Park, the moment he puts the bible down, Baba Gidi and Gidi will be behind bars. Some people believe that this is what drives the aging Moi to spend all his spare time these days plotting for Raila's downfall.

However those close to Moi disagree. They say that the old man has said several times in recent weeks that he is not frightened of a Raila presidency. He points out that if Kibaki was not able to prosecute him, then who is Raila? It is said that he has told close aides that he and Gideon are well able to take care of themselves.

So why is the former president so much against a Raila presidency, if he feels that he can take care of himself. Moi's aides and supporters claim that their man wants to save the country from blood shed.

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The Powerful Forces That DO Not Want Raila To Be President

Analysts including this blogger have long pointed to the powerful anti-Raila forces that seem prepared to do anything to ensure that Raila never sees the inside of State House as the main occupant.

Top on that list is Moi, whose tentacles after 24 years as Kenya's presidency spread far and wide, giving him plenty of influence, even when he is no longer president. Then there is the fact that he is rated as the richest Kenyan alive by many people who also place his son Gideon at number two, in terms of wealth. Money usually does miracles in Kenya and magically opens ever doors that have previously been firmly shut for a long time. There is little doubt that a lot of the Moi family fortunes will be put to work against Raila.

Then there is the Central Kenya billionaires club. This consists mainly of people who made their money during the Kenyatta days. Many of these men are in the twilight years of their life and are extremely anxious that the country avoids a Luo presidency at all costs. These individuals who even Kumekucha is frightened to mention here...

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Want To Torture Info Out Of A Kenyan?

Do you want to torture some information out of a Kenyan? That's easy, especially if that Kenyan has not had Nyama choma or specifically mbuzi choma for a long time all you need to do is show them photographs of Nyama choma or even better present a few pieces of well roasted nyam choms and then you can start asking all the questions you want.

"What do you know about XYZ? Tell me everything you know and all this nyama choma is yours."

If it is genuine Kenyan you are dealing with, I can assure you that they will start talking.

So it is not really surprising that some of the gifts being send back home from Kenyans in the US includes Nyama choma, even whole mbuzis.

The service being used to accomplish this is Mama Mikes, that Kenyan web site that has been helping thousands of Kenyans in the diaspora send home the sort of gifts that inspires villagers to sing their praises for days on end.

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Correction On Mrs Kilimo's Story

In an earlier post I suggested that Linah Chebii Kilimo who recently defected to support President Mwai Kibaki's re-election bid did so from the Raila camp. This is NOT true. The usually alert Kumekucha even missed the words Mrs Kilimo used in explaining the reasons for her defection. She said clearly she had abandoned a split or half orange which surely has to be contaminated. The half orange is of course the symbol that identifies Kalonzo Musyoka's ODM faction, namely ODM-Kenya. The full orange is reserved for the original ODM.

I take this opportunity to apologize to my dear readers who place a lot of trust in the information I supply them with here daily, despite the jeers of some paid hands who pollute this blog. I would also like to thank my hawk eyed, readers and regulars who spotted the error immediately. This surely confirms that unlike the Kenya Government and Parliament, this blog surely has some very effective checks and balances that work. Not to mention our hawk-eyed well-loved Taabu (or is it Mwalimu Taabu?) Once again thanks guys. I don't know what I'd do without you all dear Kenyans and people.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Predictions About Kalonzo Musyoka And Akamba Beliefs

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A Kamba man and one of the staunch supporters of Presidential hopeful Kalonzo Musyoka, told this blogger such a bizarre tale about the candidate the other day, that my ears are still ringing from what I heard.

So bizarre is this tale that I have debated long and hard whether or not to include it in this blog. If I had opted not to share it, I would be denying my readers information and yet the reason I set up this blog in the first place was to pass on information that nobody else would dare pass on.

If on the other hand I shared it, it would leave me wide open to be misinterpreted.

Alas, being who I am, I have decided to share it.

A while ago, so Kalonzo supporters are saying, a famous and powerful medicine man or witchdoctor predicted that Kalonzo Musyoka would be Kenya's next president. But, the medicine man said, his mother would not live to see his presidency. Even the witchdoctor himself would only see him being sworn in and would...

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Where Kalonzo Musyoka Is Today

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Today ODM-Kenya are on a 2-day retreat at Lukenya, on the outskirts of Nairobi as you travel towards Machakos. The discussions are centered on getting the most appropriate method of nominating their presidential candidate and also on a strategy for the upcoming general elections. In attendance is everybody from the top brass of the party including Kalonzo Musyoka, lawyer Mutula Kilonzo and Labour Party Of Kenya owner Julia Ojiambo.

As things stand, ODM-Kenya is going to be the party ticket to get anywhere in Ukambani for somebody seeking elective office. But then as Taabu said here yesterday the situation now and leading upto the polls is so fluid that you would be a fool to swear on it or anything else.

How To Make Serious Money Using Blogs Or Generate Plenty Of Traffic For Your Site. It Is So Easy, Expert Explains

Presidential Candidates And Witchdoctors

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The truth which will be very strongly denied by all is that no major presidential candidate will dream of standing for the presidency anywhere in Africa without consulting a witch doctor.

Prior to the 1992 initial multi-party elections, some curious visitors of the then president arrived from Mombasa, brought to the city by Shariff Nassir. Their mission was to prepare the presidential candidate that Mr Nassir was supporting for the presidency. The "visitors" stayed at a well-known Nairobi hotel.

Another leading presidential contender challenging President Kibaki is said to often seek witch craft powers from West Africa. Don't even talk about MPs because a vast majority of them seek out witch doctors and this period leading up to the elections is a very busy time for medicine men countrywide who usually make a windfall.

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Countdown Idea From Luke Was Good

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As Paul Melly says; "Equal Acres Of Space Should Be Given To All Political Interests."

The idea from one of regulars here, that we should start a count down to the general elections was excellent. Indeed we are going to start one very soon. Actually I am just putting a few finishing touches in place and we launch. For those interested in knowing the idea was suggested by one Luke alias "Admiring the economic growth".

Talking of preparations, the deputy chairman of the Standard Group Paul Melly had a meeting with senior staff this morning and announced that the editorial policy of the groups' main media outlets going into the general elections, namely The Standard newspaper and KTN was to give "equal acres of space to all political interests."

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Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Direction Of Luhya Vote Could Decide Elections

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The Luhya community have spoken in one voice and have sent a chilling message to Raila Odinga's ODM. Nominate Musalia Mudvadi as the ODM presidential candidate or the community will have to rethink where to pour their support.

Why such cockiness? And why now?

Unknown to most Kenyans, those who do tribal arithmetic regularly are now saying that the current sums minus the Luhya community put president Kibaki and Raila Odinga on a head to head level with no clear winner and it is in fact too close to call.

For all intents and purposes, it seems highly unlikely that ODM-Kenya, Kalonzo Musyoka and his Kamba community (the 5th largest community according to Moi's highly suspect census figures) will team up with the original ODM. In fact Mr Musyoka has really been warming up to Kanu in recent weeks. This is in fact a great loss to ODM, although there are those analysts who insist that it was obvious that Kalonzo was not going to remain in ODM and that it is equally obvious that Raila Odinga will be the ODM candidate for president short of which his own supporters could easily lynch him if he suggests anything less. One can't help wondering what will happen if Raila loses the presidential elections to President Kibaki or another candidate.

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Heavy Loss For Government As 2 Media Bills Are Shelved

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It was announced late today that President Kibaki has officially declined to sign the media bill and has already written to the speaker of the house giving his reasons for refusing to sign it. He basically repeats what many MPs who voted for the bill already knew and what we have been saying here for weeks—that it contradicts key parts of the constitution.

At the same time Communication Minister Muahi Kagwe told newsmen today that the government has withdrawn the even-more-damaging-to-press-freedom CCK Amendment Act Bill. The minister says that the bill will be re-drafted.

It is unlikely that either bill will make it back to parliament before the elecetions.

That is 3 losses for the government of national unity in a space of about a week. I have included the ill fated bill meant to create new constituencies but sugar-coated with 50 extra seats for women. Going into an election this is very serious. In fact a crisis of sorts.

Just consider the man-hours and resources expended pushing and sponsoring 3 bills that were clearly not a good idea considering the corner the government has worked itself into.

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Linah Chebii Kilimo Abandons Kalonzo To Support Kibaki's Re-election Bid

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The defection of Marakwet East MP and former Migration cabinet minister Linah Chebii Kilimo from ODM-Kenya to the Mwai Kibaki re-election camp today is significant in that it gives us a peek into the thinking that has been going on in the numerous meetings the Kalenjin community have been having over the last few days.

The meetings are part of the tribal groupings that have been coming together to map out strategy for the forthcoming polls and mainly to position communities to reap maximum. Until now the attractive Mrs Kilimo who "escaped the circumcision knife" by a whisker, has been a staunch supporter of Kalonzo Musyoka's ODM. She was even at the forefront of the demonstration to Sheria House that sent shivers down the spine of government and caused them to release the registration certificate pronto. But alas the sacrifice in the end did not amount to much because that is the registration certificate that Kalonzo Musyoka took off with together with his "Mtu wa mkono" Daniel Maanzo. In fact Mrs Kilimo sacrificed much more than risking police brutality in a demonstration because she sacrificed her plum cabinet post by supporting Raila Odinga and LDP in the bitter struggle over another paper called a memorandum of understanding that President Kibaki is said to have agreed to and signed. So when all the renegade cabinet members were being dismissed, Mrs Kilimo was on the list of those shown the door. But I digress.

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Kenyan Presidency Was Not Supposed To Cross River Chania, But God Had Different Plans

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"I can already see myself inspecting a guard of honor."

Those were the words of a man who never became president but deeply desired to become the occupant of State House. They were confidently spoken in the mid seventies as President Kenyatta's health detiorated as he drifted in and out of frequent comas. The man who spoke those words is still alive today and his name is Njoroge Mungai. The medical doctor who was so ambitious that legend has it that he one day asked the aging president to declare him heir apparent, was also a nephew to founding father Mzee Jomo Kenyatta.

In any event by the time Kenyatta died in 1978, peacefully in his sleep, it looked like nothing could stop another Kiambu Kikuyu ascending to the presidency and that is exactly how the authoritative Time magazine analyzed it. Even when Moi took over in an acting capacity, most analysts agreed he was simply a passing cloud.

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How To Make Serious Money Using Blogs Or Generate Plenty Of Traffic For Your Site. It Is So Easy, Expert Explains

What The Transparency International Corruption Index Did NOT Say

Corruption Special Report

The latest corruption figures released by Transparency International portray a country deep in the throes of desperation and hopelessness. According to the report there is a spike in the number of Kenyans bribing to get the scarce jobs that are available in the country occasionally.

Where does a desperate hopeless person get cash to pay somebody so secure a job for them?

Sadly there is another kind of bribery, which has to also be sharply on the rise when it comes to seeking jobs. And this is women extending sexual favors to land jobs. And men doing the same where homosexuals are in positions of power to employ. This is an extremely sensitive subject because the numbers are staggering and there are in fact many reading this from an office doing a job they secured by handing out sexual favors. Quite often, it is something they do not want to be reminded of.

But it gets worse. The TI report also showed that many Kenyans are bribing to get access to school fees funds meant for the poor, mainly administered through their local area member of parliament. Here the assumption is that the legislator's staffs are the ones who ask for the bribe. This means that more often than not the money ends up in the wrong hands while deserving cases who were unable to bribe are left in the cold.

The Kenya Police remains the most corrupt institution in the country. One wonders what the rider used during the delivery of the report about "big improvement" was all about. Is it something to do with the upcoming elections? Did somebody want to ensure that the public are duped that this government has achieved some measure of success in curbing corruption in the police force? If this was the idea then they should know that this one will be a very hard sell to the ordinary Kenyans who are extremely familiar with the corrupt operations of our law enforcement officers.

As you read this there are many areas of Kenya where prostitutes are only allowed to operate after extending "free services" to the policemen on patrol. Not to mention the fact that the demand for bribes amongst traffic policemen gets so serious frequently that Matatu drivers and touts frequently go on strike to protest the vice. There is currently a strike of Ngong matatus that started yesterday, protesting harassment for bribes by traffic policemen in the area.

There are millions of potential customers looking for your Kenyan products and services in search engines but they can't find you.

Make Serious Money Using Blogs Or Generate Plenty Of Traffic For Your Site

Let me save you precious time. The people who will benefit from reading this article are ONLY those seeking to do the following 2 things;

1) You are looking to make money online using the World Wide Web (The writer of this article regularly receives cheques in the mail generated from his blog).

2) Your web site hardly gets visitors and you would love to find a way to generate a constant flow of targeted visitors to your site. (The writer of this article has several sites that attract an average of over 1,000 unique visitors daily)

If you do not fall into these two categories save yourself time and move on. If you can identify yourself with at least one of the two problems, read on, today is your lucky day. By the way you can also do both the 2 things with one single blog (hit two birds with one stone, so to speak).

This a genuine golden opportunity for Kenyans and many people from other African countries to cash in using the World Wide Web and it does not matter what remote part of the country they are living in. Allow me to explain.

If you are looking for some information to solve a certain problem you are facing, where do you usually go? Say you wanted to purchase a new mobile phone and you wanted to first see what kind of prices shops are charging for your favorite Nokia models? Increasingly people in Africa are joining the trend in the rest of the world and are using the Internet. To be more specific, the Google search engine. You go to Google and type the words "mobile phone prices in Nairobi" or "cell phone prices Kenya." These days you may not need to type in Kenya, you just go to the Kenyan Google at www.google.co.ke

You will get some results and you will then go to specific sites to seek answers to your questions or solutions to your problems.

Now here is the big opportunity you should cash in on. Most times people who search for information on Kenya online end up disappointed or dissatisfied and these are people looking to spend money. Recently I have been helping out a client who has set up a Kenyan Online directory and we constructed a simple page on budget accommodation in Kenya. We have been receiving a huge number of direct email enquiries from mostly the United Kingdom of tourists planning to visit Kenya looking for budget hotels. Most of these budget hotels do not even have sites and where they do, they are impossible to find on Google because in the first place their sites are not even indexed by Google. (indexed means that Google has not recognized their existence). Emails to them take days and even weeks to be answered. People are really asleep, these are customers looking to spend money!!

This is sad because there is a very easy way to correct the problem. You do not need a lot of money to get an online presence. You can easily launch a blog and include everything you ever wanted anybody to know about your business including photographs of your product.

You can use the same blogs to write about any subject of your choice and make money (more on that later).

The bottom line is that these days you really can't make money online without blogs. It is no longer a secret that blogs are by far the highest traffic generating mediums ever created on the World Wide Web. Numerous folks are also using blogs to directly make a bundle from a few selected affiliate programs.

Check out any high traffic, well-known site you know of and they are bound to have a blog. Blogs, because of their characteristics, thrive on lots of content and their ability to generate links in the blogosphere almost effortlessly and will usually be easily indexed and will rank a lot higher in search engine results than ordinary sites. This means that they will almost always generate a lot more traffic than web sites from people making searches at Google.

Maybe you do not know this, but the highest earning cash generating affiliate programs which are also the easiest to earn revenue from online, like Adsense from Google and Kontera only work where there is lots of content, like is usually the case with blogs.

It is not too difficult to set up a cash generating blog of your own or one to generate traffic for your business product or to refer to your existing web site. But even better, you can get an expert to set up your blog for you so that it is indexed and optimized with search engines. Meaning that somebody searching for your service using a search engine will easily find you.

The search engine statistics cannot be ignored. Sample this, the search industry market leader Google reports that a staggering 64 million people use Google search daily to seek for information (2005 figures, meaning that today it is even higher).

This is truly a golden opportunity for you. There are customers out there right now looking for your products and services and cheques are waiting to be signed and sent to your post office box regularly.

Find some help in setting up your blog NOW

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Why Was Raila Odinga Thrown Out Of A Nyeri Hotel?

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Presidential hopeful Raila Odinga was in Nyeri yesterday for the funeral of an LDP official in the district. Two memorable incidents took place.

Firstly here was a skirmish at the funeral when a local in the area was interrupted by rowdy youths as he tried to criticize President Kibaki's administration. Things were so serious that the "speech" had to be cut short. It is not clear why details of this incident are so scanty in the local media.

But there was more drama to follow when Raila was ejected from a Nyeri Hotel because the "owner wanted nothing to do with ODM."

Both these incidents display the height of political immaturity in the country, although critics would be quick to point out that anybody critical of Raila Odinga would face more or less the same treatment in Kisumu, the bedrock of this presidential candidate's support.

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The First Media Bill Was Just Testing The Waters… Prepare Yourselves For "Pravda" In Kenya

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Draconian CCK Bill Gives Authority Power To Decide What Gets Covered

The closer election day gets, the more I think that there is somebody within the president's campaign team deliberately doing everything to reduce the chances of the president being re-elected for a second term.

One of the favorite tools this traitor is using is provoking the media.

I say this because even as the President keeps everybody in suspense over the Media Bill that remains unsigned, yet another bill that will affect the operation of the media in Kenya is due for discussion in parliament soon.

I am convinced that the reason why Kenyans have been left hanging over the fate of the Media bill, which has already been passed by parliament is because powerful forces around the president are still pushing hard for him to sign it into law. Chances are high that he will do just that.

Significant proposals in the new proposed law soon to be tabled in the house include a clause that allows the minister in charge of internal security to raid any media house and to take away equipment. Most Kenyans have failed to see the government's position concerning the infamous raid on Standard newspapers where newspapers were set on fire.

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Mugambi Imanyara: The Mysterious Lawyer Who Registered ODM Original

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The scene was one straight out of some action movie.

Some carjackers attempted approached lawyer Mugambi Imanyara and instead of surrendering his car in the Karen area, what ensued was a fierce gun battle that finally saw the thugs retreating. The incident was reported in the back page of the Daily Nation and many Kenyans admired the bravery of this guy single handedly fighting back against crime.

But until recently Kenyans had not connecting that gun battle incident and the individual involved to the man who registered the Orange Democratic Party and forced the real ODM players to register ODM-Kenya. The man whom it is rumoured was offered Kshs 80 million to surrender the party to Raila Odinga and company.

But even more interesting is the fact that the man turned up for the handing over ceremony whilst armed with a gun. It was clearly sticking out of his back belt for all to see.

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Registrar Went Into Hiding Fearing Raila Demo

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Why is the government aiding "political entrepreneurs" to make money?

Sources close to the registrar have revealed that the registrar had already gone into hiding anticipating yet another ugly demonstration and she only emerged when it was announced that Raila Odinga had gained control of the original Orange Democratic Party.

This confirms that her instructions NOT to register any new political parties still stands.

Has it occurred to anybody that this decision enables all those opportunists who registered political parties to make money to successful accomplish the ludicrous mission they set out to do. Is somebody in government earning a hefty commission from the deal? Why else would the government deny Kenyans the democratic right by halting the registration of new political parties in an election year?

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Monday, August 20, 2007

Big Story Behind The Equity Bank Rumours

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As promised, Kumekucha went behind the scenes and right into the center of operations at Equity Bank to unearth the truth about this indigenous bank (one of the few successful ones that has been at the center of rumours and a vicious hate-email campaign).

The questions I set out to answer were mainly 3. I have divided them into 3 separate posts to make it easy for quick perusal.

1. Is Equity In Financial Problems As The Emails Suggest?

2. What Are The Weaknesses Of Equity Bank?

3. Who Is Behind the Emails And Rumors Against Equity Bank?


I take this opportunity to thank all the people who assisted me in making my work much easier and reassure them again that even if the media bill were to become law today, I would rather go to jail than reveal their identities.

In Kenya and indeed all over the world, I often meet "professionals" who will quickly look down at any analysis that does not heavily use technical terms and one that fails to show off technical knowledge on the subject. I often pity such individuals because this is a clear demonstration of how insecure they are. I often like to explain everything in simple terms that everybody can understand. That is what you will find in my detailed reports on Equity Bank. Let not my simplification fool you, my investigations were thorough.

To be honest what I found shocked and staggered me. I must admit that before I started this research, I was convinced that I was already an expert on Equity Bank. In many ways I was wrong because there was so much that I did not know.

But it is all here, exclusively for you from Kumekucha.

Enjoy.

Start reading the articles HERE

Is Equity In Financial Problems As The Emails Suggest?

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If you believed half of what you read in the emails that have been circulating about Equity Bank you would be expecting the bank to collapse at any time.

Based on the information I have managed to gather this is NOT true.

There are two main things that can cause a bank to go down. Firstly not being able to generate enough revenue and secondly non-performing loans in its' books. Equity suffers none of these two. Interestingly, according to confidential information that I was able to see, almost all the loans the bank gives are very small amounts to individuals and small business people. Meaning that even if some of them were to go bad, it would hardly leave a dent.

But the thing that shocked even me, was the revenue generation happening at the bank. WOW!! Let me simplify it so that everybody can understand.

Equity bank now has 1.4 million account holders. Any seasoned entrepreneur will tell you that when you have critical mass in numbers like these you can hardly go wrong.

Every time those 1.4 millions folks breathe, Equity makes money.

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What Are The Weaknesses Of Equity Bank?

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I did find the inevitable "warts" in this star player of a bank.

Top on the list of its' weaknesses emerges from the style of management. The tight-control-one-man show that built the institution from nothing (actually Equity missed being put under receivership by a whisker—but I'll explain that story in a minute) to what it is today is still very much in place.

This is not the place where staff can share ideas and suggest things. Everybody knows that doing so is way too dangerous. That is how such talented members of staff like Kariuki Nguru and more recently, Joyce Sang lost their jobs. The way to keep your job at Equity is to do exactly as you are told and to oil the right egos frequently enough. This is more than a little dangerous for an institution that has reached the size that Equity Bank has.

It is instructive that this was the same problem that Uchumi Supermarkets had. The dukawalla management style of former CEO Suresh Shah was good for raking in the profits but skills were hardly passed on down to lower cadre workers. Interestingly this is something that Nakumatt Supermarkets have...

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Who Is Behind the Emails And Rumors Against Equity Bank?

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It is not too difficult to figure out who is behind the nasty anti-Equity emails because the bank's enemies are well known.

In the days of TradeBank several big banks spread many nasty runours against TradeBank and the fact that the bank ended up being closed laid credence to a lot of the rubbish they were talking under the table.

There have even been cases where fights have almost broken out in the field between employees of banks like Barclays and Equity.

The truth is that the big foreign banks in Kenya believe that Equity have taken away their clients (whom they consider their birth right). The reality is a little different. Once upon a time big banks in Kenya were getting pretty fat on high interest government treasury bills that were at one point paying out close to 80 per cent interest that they decided they did not want to bother with small accounts. This was around 1992 the year when Equity missed receivership by a whisker. It was quickly decided that the then building society change its focus from mortgages to banking services to meet the needs of many Kenyans who had resorted to putting their cash under pillows after all the big banks went on a campaign to close small accounts. What followed is the staff of legend at the bank. It is said that many customers came to Equity with their paltry cash while crying after the harsh words arrogant managers at banks like Barclays and Standard had shouted at them. The rest as they is history.

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Sunday, August 19, 2007

GTV Outfoxes DSTV

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Kenyans are crazy about English soccer and especially the ongoing premiership. This is the reason why South African based DSTV has until now had such a huge subscriber base. That subscriber base now looks like it is going to disappear literally overnight.

The reason is simple. GTV, a brand new satellite TV outfit with strong links in Britain has won the rights to transmit 80% of the matches live. DSTV have only managed 20% and so far most of the matches they have transmitted don’t involve the big “four”. Kumekucha is reliably informed that already dishes with the “G” logo are now coming up in Nairobi, Mombasa and elsewhere at a rate that suggests there is no tomorrow. Most of these new customers were previously DSTV clients.

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Murder Most Foul In Mombasa: Unfaithful Kisauni Wife Makes Love One Last Time As Assassins Watch

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The crime rate in Mombasa is generally very low, so when a gruesome crime happens, the impact it leaves is felt for many months and even years.

I have recently come across some interesting, albeit bizarre information on a murder committed in Kisauni Mombasa. This is the old constituency of the late Karisa Maitha and the current legislator is Anania Mwaboza.

The crime was in fact a murder that shocked the surrounding community and left many puzzling questions unanswered and the residents terrified.

One of the things about Mombasa is that it is very difficult to keep secrets. Sooner or later somebody will talk too much while taking some mnazi (traditional brew) and the story will always come out.

The murdered man worked at the Mombasa Port, where even children in Mombasa know, there is a lot of money. It is said that even the cleaners and watchmen find a way to demand bribes and end up going home every day with lots of cash in their pockets.

The young man was not married and soon hit it off with a housewife who was a neighbor in the plot where he lived in Kisauni. His friends and neighbors warned the young man several times that...

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Saturday, August 18, 2007

Yet Another Tribal Chief Calls For Strategy Meeting

Suggests Kumekucha should be meeting place

They say it is never a good idea to reveal your weaknesses to the public, especially when you know that your enemies are clearly waiting with baited breath for you to make a mistake.

Most Kenyans for instance believe that the majority of people leaving comments in Kumekucha do so from cyber cafes and therefore the survey findings (some of which I shared and a lot of which I kept to myself) were “cooked”. Somebody (notice how the thinking is so similar amongst these NSIS guys) suggested that they will vote with their feet. For your information brother, your comments have no impact on the silent majority and if you know the first thing about how sites get most of their traffic, you would realize the kind of ignorance your comment reveals about you.

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“The Whole World Has Been Waiting For Kalonzo Musyoka,” Kalonzo Says

I am seeking guidance and advice so that I understand the above statement made by a leading presidential candidate recently. I have agonized using my limited knowledge of the English language and I still can’t make any sense out of it. Maybe Vikiii can help me.

Here is that statement again;

“The Whole World Has Been Waiting For Kalonzo Musyoka,”

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RECREATING THE REPUBLIC: The Challenges Facing Young Kenyan Leaders

"But to get to our Land of Promise, there is a wilderness we must cross and there are giants we must slay."

Closing Address delivered at the 3rd National Youth Convention Kenyatta International Conference Centre Sunday, 12th August 2007

By NJONJO MUE Senior Legal Counsel and Head of the Advocacy Programme Kenya National Commission on Human Rights.

Distinguished delegates, Ladies and Gentlemen: I would like to congratulate you on the successful conclusion of the Third National Youth Convention.

Over the last two days, you have had occasion to discuss and debate the future of our country and the critical role that Kenya’s young people must play in reclaiming the fortunes of our land. Unfortunately, I was not able to join you until this afternoon, but going by what I have observed and heard in the short time I have been present, I know I can rest assured that the future of our country is in safe hands.

Indeed, when I go to bed tonight, I shall be able to close my eyes and rest. I know I can afford to dream of the country that my children will call home. Through the watches of the night, I will behold in my mind’s eye, a strong African country, united in its diversity with a vibrant economy and equitable distribution of resources; where every man, woman and child has the opportunity and the means to achieve his or her fullest potential and where justice and respect for human dignity shall be the basis of social behavior by both the citizen and the State alike.

I can already see a strong, united country, taking its place of leadership in regional and international affairs; setting the pace in political governance, economic growth, foreign policy, science and technology, and promoting fair trade. I see a green land where people are able to feed themselves, enjoying the fruits of the land while protecting the environment in the true realization of the fact that “we did not inherit this land from our parents; we have borrowed it from our children.” From Lamu to Lokichogio, from the Lake the blue shining sea, I behold all the peoples of this beloved country, in their different hues and colours living and working together side by side in mutually reinforcing and affirming communities across the land.

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Friday, August 17, 2007

Tribal Chiefs Shine As They Consolidate Their Positions: Only Divine Intervention Can Save Kenya From These Hyenas

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Political temperatures in the country have risen considerably. Tribal chiefs have come out with both barrels blazing and each region is now strategizing on how best to come out ahead of the other.

So where does Kenya feature in all this? Stupid question you ask. Kenya features nowhere. You think Kenya is more important that individual tribal and regional interests? You must be out of your mind.

The Luhya community (all legislators from Western province) had a meeting yesterday where they announced that they will only support ODM if Musalia "Goldenberg" Mudavadi is declared the party's presidential candidate. They emphasized that any other candidate being selected would force the community to reconsider its' options. We all know who the ODM presidential candidate is don't we. One Raila Amollo Odinga, who by the way is yet to reply to Kiunjuri's accusations in parliament about oil deals and missing files.

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How Kenya Treats Her Real Heroes And Heroines With Contempt

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It must have been quite a sight witnessing the hanging of one Dedan Kimathi at Kamiti Maximum Security prison in 1952. I can imagine those penetrating eyes staring as if at nothing. Even as the heavy hood was thrown over his face and the rope fastened. When the trap door is opened what is supposed to happen is that the neck breaks, but death rarely comes quickly in hanging. People often urinate and pass feaces before the legs begin to jerk and kick incessantly signifying that death is close.

Kimathi's only regret was probably the fact that he did not have the opportunity when dieing to clasp the soil and speak those famous words in Kikuyu signifying what that it was for the soil that belonged to them that they had died.

Brave man, this guy although he was not fighting for independence. He was fighting for the land taken away by the colonialists to be restored to its; rightful owners. Still, there is no doubt that the Mau Mau uprising was very effective in attracting attention to the plight of the majority indigenous African Kenyan. This alone classifies Kimathi a true Kenyan hero.

It would take over 50 years for Dedan Kimathi to be honored. But with what?

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9th Parliament Does Not Like Women

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The message is loud and clear.

The 9th parliament does not think much of women and do not want more women in parliament. They probably believe that they have nothing to contribute.

I say this because, if they were sensitive, they would have made every effort to have the bill adjusted so that the 40 new constituencies, which they were against could be removed and the new seats fro women remain. Instead this bone of contention was used as en excuse to throw out a bill that would have had far-reaching effect and very positive impact on the country.

This whole episode has made nominated legislator Njoki Ndungu look a real heroine to have gotten her Sexual Offences Bill passed. But just look at the hard work she put in?

She organized seminars for MPs and basically did everything to cajole, beg and so on to get the 9th parliament to pass the land mark legislation that is still having problems being enforced.


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Uganda Attacks Kenya With Tanks, Helicopters And Foot Soldiers

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The Ugandan army (UPDF) recently crossed into the country in Pokot complete with military tanks and helicopters and made away with large herds of cattle.

The defense minister's only comment; "We are talking."

My question is; talk about what?

When a neighboring country crosses the border with tanks and helicopters to attack a small village of unarmed Kenyans, is the thing to do, talk?

Isn't the right action to ask them to give a good reason why we should not send our military complete with helicopters into their country to recover the said cattle. And such a message is not delivered in talks, it is sent as an ultimatum. Or even better declare war based on this act of extreme provocation?

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When The CEO Personally Appears In A Commercial It Usually Means Trouble

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All over the world, whenever you see the CEO of a company appear in his own TV commercials, trying to sell products, then you know that all is NOT well. Lee Iacooca appeared in the Chrysler ads when the car maker was in serious trouble and as he attempted to turn it around.

In the latest ads being run by Uchumi Supermarkets (I doubt whether they will cause anybody to have any confidence in Uchumi) the CEO appears himself and even talks. The difference between Chrysler and Uchumi is that the latter does not have any viable turn around strategy apart from wanting to raise more money to help the management team make the same mistakes their predecessors who failed, made. This is probably the clearest sign yet, to the public that all is not well once again at Kenya's oldest supermarket chain.

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Thursday, August 16, 2007

Are You Scared For Your Life Leaving Comments At Kumekucha?

A recent survey I have just completed carrying out has given me results that have completely taken me by surprise. They reveal that many people who read Kumekucha believe that associating themselves with the blog endangers their lives at worst and can get them in big trouble and behind bars at the very least.

The words of one respondent are still ringing in my ears;

"I always look over my shoulder imagining that some guys in suits will burst into the room the next minute and arrest me. The information you reveal here is just too dangerous."

It seems that a whooping 70 per cent of the people who regularly visit Kumekucha are too frightened to leave a comment because they are aware that ip addresses can very easily be traced.

Even more interesting is the fact that even some Kenyans in the diasporas fear to be associated with Kumekucha because they will have to return home at some point.

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Government Receives Resounding Defeat In New Constituencies Bill

But What About The 50 Seats For Women?

The fact that the government of national unity had a closed-door meeting immediately after receiving a terrible defeat in a crucial bill that was supposed to pave way for the addition of new constituencies speaks volumes.

It confirms that the new constituencies (40 had been planned) were a crucial part of President Kibaki's re-election plan. Remember Hon Martha Karua's words at an unguarded moment, she said; "new constituencies are a must!"

It now emerges that the government's strategy was to sugar-coat the new constituencies bill with the rider of 50 new seats for women. It was a good idea on paper—the operative word here being "on paper." I keep on saying that politics is does not work with good on paper ideas and I keep asking who is the President's political strategist? Do they really know what they are doing?

The reasoning was that being so close to the polls MPs would not dare risk antagonizing the electorate by rejecting something as popular as 50 new seats in parliament for women. It was a terrible miscalculation.

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Old Semi-Illiterate Miji Kenda Man Reveals New Evidence About Tom Mboya And Political Assassinations In Kenya

I recently met an old man from Mombasa who proudly kept on reminding me that he was from the Mijikenda community, the guys who never take things lying down. On discovering that I was doing some research on what kind of impact the issue of Tom Mboya's assassination would have on the electorate on the ground this December, he started telling me a very fascinating stuf.

He started by declaring that corruption WILL NEVER end in Kenya.

Why, I asked?

"Do you know a man called Murungaru?"

"The former Minister, now banned from enetering the UK?"

"Yes, that is the one. You know as late as 2002, I used to see the man frequently in Mombasa around the Pembe ya Ndovu (that is the important landmark of Elephant tasks along Moi Avenue in Mombasa) area. You know what he was doing? Hawking medicine to pharmacists. He was always sweating and wiping the sweat under his spectavles. Where is that man today? Is he still hawking dawa?"

"No," I replied totally fascinated and engrossed. "He is a very rich man."

"Since independence the government has gotten rid of anybody who has dared stand in the way of the corrupt ways of powerful individuals within those governments. The man you are talking about, was...

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What's Really Going On At Equity Bank?

In my days as a journalist working for various publications, my specialty was business analysis and reporting. I have no problems reading a balance sheet (especially between the lines).

However the events of yesterday and today seem to suggest that I have gotten a little rusty. Some guy now says that I should stick to what I do best these days—political propaganda. That gave me a laugh because the man knows that if what I was carrying here was mere propaganda, this blog would not have half the audience that it does.

Anyway, I am not perfect and before I answer him and others in this blog, I will do some digging on Equity Bank and get back to all you good folks. My gut feeling is that this bank is still OK but let me gather the evidence and facts to back that, if any.

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So You Want To Know What Really Goes On Inside Political Parties In Kenya?

Here is a leaked document on confidential discussions and resolutions passed by a leading Kenyan political party during one of its’ meetings.

Read and digest and realize why they say that politics is a dirty game (with the old folks who are there now). The whole lot are the same and the only way forward is to send them all home packing.

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11th LDP NEB meeting held on July 1, 2003

A part from the official meeting held, a brainstorm was conducted on a brief research paper presented by the chairman. It touched on how the LDP should be strengthened. It was recommended from the debate:

1. LDP must continuously show it is the one pushing for a constitutional reform while NAK is against constitutional reform as Kanu was depicted in the past.

2. LDP must explore all avenues of fruitful engagement with Kanu. Efforts must be made to reverse the nasty merger experience between Kanu and NDP, LDP should help Kanu look good among members of the public.

3. LDP must be shown as pro-people and for reforms whereas the government must be painted as anti-change.

4. The government must be isolated and shown as a Mt. Kenya backed government without national appeal.

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Wednesday, August 15, 2007

The Great Irreparable Damage The Media Bill Has Done To Kibaki's Re-election Campaign

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Wako Finally Admits The Obvious

Even as members of Kenya’s fourth estate staged a dramatic demonstration in Nairobi this afternoon, while symbolically gagged with tape and cloth, serious questions are being asked in relation to the folly of the whole exercise of the infamous Media Bill.

After days in which AG Amos Wako claimed he was studying the media bill he has finally come out and admitted that it is fatally flawed, and he will accordingly advice the president not to sign it.

Firstly the AG who knows a lot more law than Kumekucha did not need so many days to find the obvious. I would have saved him a lot of reading had he asked me because I would have told him straight up that it was flawed and the reasons why.

But then that was not the real issue here, my friends. What was going on was lots of consultations behind the scenes with the powers that be who finally gave him permission to announce the obvious. The truth is that many flawed bills have been passed by parliament and signed into laws in the past, including the last...

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ODM "Entrepreneur" Cashes In

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As we all said here months ago, the two major ODM-Kenya presidential hopefuls have now officially parted ways. The sickening plastic, forced smiles, as they held hands, fooling the public that ODM was united have finally come to an end and the truth as we always knew it has been revealed for all to see.

Kalonzo Musyoka has remained with ODM-Kenya while Raila Odinga has purchased the first Orange Democratic Party to be registered for an unspecified amount of Kenya shillings. Both parties (seller and buyer of ODM) have of course denied that any money exchanged hands, but that one will be very difficult even for a hungry crocodile along that banks of Tana River to swallow.

It is highly unlikely that Raila has paid anything below...

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Why It Is Not Too Difficult To Figure Out Who Killed Mboya

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Tom Mboya and Jaramogi ginga Odinga were NOT friends. Yes, I know you saw him in the video clips that I placed in yesterday's Mboya post attending the funeral, but the truth is that the two were sworn enemies.

In fact in a way it is probably this bitter rivalry that cost Mboya his life in that this brilliant politician did not see the fact that immediately he eliminated Jaramogi Oginga Odinga from the political scene, it would put his own life in grave danger.

It was probably one of the few times when Mboya was so obsessed with a political enemy that he placed his better judgement aside.

Mboya's biographer David Goldsworthy puts it thus;

"Tom Mboya fought the arduous power struggle of 1964-66 with masterful technique and a quite chilling implacability...

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Who Wants To Kill Equity Bank?

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Even as the price of Equity Bank shares on the Nairobi Stock Exchange appears to be recovering over the last few days, somebody is forwarding nasty emails warning Kenyans to stay away from the bank.

The reason I find this interesting is that I have carefully studied the growth of Equity right from the time it was launched as a building society in the Moi days. I correctly predicting that they would one day be very big, because they did the opposite of what other banks were doing at the time and targeted the ordinary mwananchi. As you read this, the bank has got over one million account-holders, a record in Kenya.

The way to analyze a company is to look at how it makes its' money. As a rule I will never invest in a business that I do not understand. Equity's major profit generator is small loans to ordinary folks. If you understand the principal of compounded interest you will quickly realize just how wildly profitable this activity can be.

So the foundations of Equity are basically sound...

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Uchumi Supermarkets In Trouble Again

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Uchumi Supermarkets is in trouble again and I am really not surprised. Rather than repeat the remarks I made months ago, I will re-publish the entire post here complete with the date;

Saturday, July 22, 2006
Business Special: More Trouble Ahead For Uchumi
In all the hype being generated by the media and show of goodwill towards the Uchumi Supermarkets rescue efforts, alarm bells are beginning to ring loudly in my ears.

I really started to get nervous when I heard about the latest move by the new supermarket chain management to raise extra funds from shareholders. In the plan, shareholders will lend a minimum of Kshs 10,000 each to Uchumi. In fact the plan was to initially get a minimum of Kshs 100,000 from each shareholder. Shareholders quite rightly pointed out that this was too much for most of them.

What is going on here?


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Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Tom Mboya’s Birthday: A Mere Coincidence?

Here is something really shocking, when you think about what has been happening in this blog over the last few houyrs.

In a few hours time it will be August 15th. Tom Mboya’s birthday.

Had this Kenyan hero lived he would have been 77, a year older than President Kibaki and 3 years younger than Vice President Moody Awori.

If it were possible for people to celebrate their birthdays in the grave, this birthday would have been the happiest and most memorable for TJ, as his friends called him. What would have made him happiest is that his younger son (just 21 months old when he was gunned down in Nairobi that fateful July lunch time in 1969, has come of age and shown the same courage he himself showed in challenging the mighty British government. A government that just 5 years earlier in 1952, had crushed the Mau Mau land uprising with such ruthlessness that somebody would have to be out of their minds to dare challenge them.

Tom would also have no doubt been deeply intrigued that...

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Incase you missed it, read the open letter from Marianne Briner to Njoroge Mungai.

Nation Published Sunday’s Headline Today, Two Days Later

Is it the influence of this blog, or is it mere coincidence?

I complained here about how the newspapers have put commercial interests ahead of everything and pushed news on the Kakamega landslide aside in favor of political features.

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The Cracked Pot

An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole which she carried across her neck. One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and always Delivered a full portion of water. At the end of the long walks from the stream to the house, the cracked pot Arrived only half full.
For a full two years this went on daily, with the woman bringing Home only one and a half pots of water.

Of course , the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and Miserable that it could only do half of what it had been made to do.

After two years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it Spoke to the woman one day by the stream "I am ashamed of myself, because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your
house."

The old woman smiled, "Did you notice that there are flowers on Your side of the path, but not on the other pot's side?" "That's because I have always known about your flaw, so I planted Flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, You water them."

"For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to Decorate the table. Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this Beauty to grace the house."
Each of us has our own unique flaw. But it's the cracks and flaws We each have that make our lives together so very interesting and Rewarding.
you've just got to take each person for what they are and look for The good in them.

SO, to all of my crackpot friends, have a great day and remember To smell the flowers on your side of the path!