Lupita Nyongo's Controversial New Movie

Hollywood Oscar winner Lupita Nyongo (pictured) is working on her latest film, The Queen of Katwe being shot on location in Uganda.

Lupita plays the lead role in the movie by award-winning director Mira Nair. The movie tells the story of Phiona Mutesi, who grew up in the slums of Katwe, but went on to have a successful chess career.
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Mpesa Customers In Kenya And Tanzania Can Now Transact Seamlessly

Business across the border between Kenya and Tanzania is set to explode after Safaricom this week signed a deal that merges Mpesa transactions across the two East African countries.

The first to feel the impact of this new development will be the multitudes of small traders operating between the two countries as well as the tens of thousands of Kenyans working in Tanzania who regularly need to send cash back home to Kenya.

Those who understand the tendency of Tanzanian regulators to resist anything Kenyan for fear of being overwhelmed by its' financial and business powerhouse neighbor will understand just how major a milestone this latest development is.
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Beware 20th March: Earth Will Be Dark In Daylight

On March 20th 2015 the world will experience the biggest solar eclipse since 1999.

On the morning of March 20, the moon will cover the sun, blocking out up to 98 per cent of its light.

The evening before the phenomenon the Earth and Moon will be as close together as they possibly can be.
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Ababu Namwamba Versus Raila Odinga Who Will Prevail?

Ababu Namwamba is in the political fight of his life. He says that Raila Odinga is responsible for his woes.

Raila Odinga says that no corruption amongst MPs should be condoned. Namwamba's secret weapon is a recording he secretly made of Raila making some utterances that are said to be explosive, mainly pointing fingers at the rot that is in our parliament with MPs in special committees allegedly taking money to rule in favor of guilty people.

Fireworks are inevitable when Raila is expected to make an appearance in person before a special select committee to give his side of the story.

MPs protect each other, even across the political divide. However in this particular case it seems that there are strong forces determined to nail Ababu Namwamba. It seems that even his own party is split right down the middle although the stronger side wants to oust Namwamba who has always been considered a JUBILEE spy within CORD.

That's the drama that Kenyans are watching with baited breath.

My call? I believe that Namwamba will survive. Courtesy of backroom deals unfolding even as you read this. This is Kenya folks. Indeed in recent days the Budalangi legislator's tone has been growing more and more confident by the day. He is even now daring his accusers to talk outside parliament.


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Body Of The Man Who Died With Tons of Kenya Secrets To Be Exhumed

No man who ever walked the face of the earth carried more Kenya secrets than James Kanyotu (pictured). And that includes the secrets of the Goldenberg scandal., Tom Mboya and JM assassinations etc. Kanyotu was the longest serving intelligence chief in the history of Kenya. But alas he carried all the secrets to his grave. Read more about the amazing life of James Kanyotu.

But back to the present. Kanyotu ended up being an extremely wealthy man. And now a Kenyan court may rule that his remains be exhumed (almost 7 years after his death) so that DNA tests can be done to ascertain whether a certain man claiming a share in his vast estate was actually sired by the ex-spy chief.
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Woman Gang Robs 20 Nairobi Homes In One Week Reign Of Terror

Most people tend to relax when they see a woman, especially an attractive or well dressed one. This fact is often taken full advantage of by criminals including a gang that has reigned terror on plush upmarket residential areas over the last one week or so. They have committed at least 20 robberies (several on the same day) in just one week.

Police believe that the gang consists of one woman and three men and the daring robberies are usually carried out in broad daylight. The robbers pause as employees of the Kenya Power And Lighting Company or sometimes people from the Water company. They quickly gain access into homes and even targeted apartments, and at gun point they immobilize occupants and escape with cash and valuables including jewelry and laptops. The gang even shot and administration policeman this week in unclear circumstances.

Police have vowed to arrest the woman gangster and her accomplices very soon.
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Highest Profits Ever By A Single Bank In The History Of Kenya

Equity Bank has made history. The rags-to-riches-fairy-tale homegrown Kenyan bank has just announced its' results for 2014 where it made a colossal Kshs 17 billion profit. Not only did the bank pip arch rival and the largest bank in Kenya asset-wise KCB (which made Kshs 16.8 billion) but it also become the very first in the history of banking in Kenya to reach that astronomical figure.

The bank profits were buoyed by increased lending and more revenue from transactions.
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Macabre Cases Of Intercourse With The Dead And Dead Men behaving Badly After Death

Not a good post to read just after you have had your lunch, even if I say so myself.

Humans are the most bizarre creatures on the planet.

In 2012 the then brand new Egyptian parliament drafted a law known as the farewell intercourse law allowing an ancient ritual where husbands would have sexual intercourse with their dead wives one last time up to 6 hours after their death. This was part of a list of priority reforms that included lowering the minimum age for marriage for girls to 14. Yes 14, that is NOT a typo. Luckily there was at the time a group of women in that country who were fighting the controversial laws. It is not clear whether the heinous laws were passed or not.

But there is more about making out with dead bodies and this next incident beats them all. One Felicity Marmaduke who straddled a dead man in the morgue where she was working claimed that the man actually ejaculated and she ended up pregnant from the encounter. The incident allegedly took place in 2012 the US.


Having sex with dead women has been going on for centuries. Even in Kenya a few tribes still practice it, and it is mostly with dead female corpses. But the question is, is it possible to have sex with a dead man? Apparently it is depending on the way the man died. Death by hanging or a bullet in the brain is said to quite often leave the deceased with an erection. Or if they are in an upright position and remain like that after death. If a man can have an erection when they are dead then ejaculation is also probably possible. Sick! Sick!
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KCB Partner With Mpesa To Offer Big Loans Via Cell Phone

Kenya Commercial Bank has seen its' customer transactions with M-PESA triple to KShs. 125 billion, while the volume of transactions has grown from 10,000 a day to 100,000.

Now the bank has done something a little strange for such a traditionally conservative bank in the past, it has launched a new scheme where customers can get sizeable loans via their cell phones.

The facility fee for the loan will start from as low as 2% per month (which is actually 24% per annum). Customers will also have the option of two fixed savings options, a fixed deposit account and a target savings account.

The new KCB loans will range from as low as KShs. 50 to as high as KShs.1 million instantly on mobile phones.
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Maid Uses Her Fresh Urine To Cook Ugali For Family

As another house help faces very serious charges in a Nairobi court for abusing a 6 year old boy

 

House helps or maids or personal nurses, as some people would respectfully prefer to call them, can be deadly. The recent Youtube clip of a Ugandan househelp violently assaulting a toddler is still fresh on the minds of many mothers. But there is more... much more.

Still many Kenyans do not seem to realize this and some even think nothing of mistreating them and generally making life hell for them. They do this while forgetting that house helps can do great damage to them and their families because they not only get to know you well, but they have access to everything in the house and can cause havoc if they so wish.

A beautiful young Kenyan girl a Nairobi estate near Ruaraka has been traumatized for life and remains unmarried mainly because of the damage a house help did when she was young. If you meet this young lady, usually clad in a Jijab (the head gear part of a bui bui) you will see nothing strange or out of the ordinary about her. But when she was young a house help whose boss for some reason had refused to pay her salary on time, boiled water to bath her and still seething in anger threw her into the water without cooling it. The result is that she has some ugly scars all over her body so that any man she undresses for will never enjoy what he is supposed to enjoy looking at but will end up staring for all the wrong reasons. But alas the damage is irreversible.

Then there was another recent case where a house help who was being mistreated by her employers decided to alter her cooking ingredients just slightly as a way of getting her revenge. She would make virtually everything with a little of her urine. That meant the water for Ugali would have her urine in it as would the morning and evening tea. Those making life miserable for her ended up taking in a lot of her urine.

In another horrifying incident that I would never have believed if I did not trust this lawyer friend of mine who narrated it to me today, a woman faced some very serious charges in a Nairobi court after it was discovered that she had involved the six year old child of her employer in lewd adult acts. Disgustingly she apparently got the young kid to lick her down there. The mother of the child discovered the whole thing quite by accident when the son innocently asked her one day;

“Nikulambe vile mimi ulamba Auntie?”

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Female Bank Manager In Trouble For Buying Underlings (men) Shirts: Tabia mbaya causes nice woman to lose her job

Bank employees are still stunned after a female bank manager at a prestigious Nairobi based bank branch was recently fired after the wife of one of the underlings he bought shirts for turned up at the CEO’s office and caused quite a scene at the usually quiet and serene bank environment.

This is the incident that triggered the interest of Kumekucha Relationship stories in this saga but on further digging this writer unearthed details that are so shocking that even now as I type this story I am blushing repeatedly. I have also been forced to leave out a lot of stuff that I cannot publish in this family blog.

We have been reliably informed that the bank manager, Millie, had an exceptionally big appetite for men in the office and dated quite a number of them. However in the end the man responsible for getting her fired was shockingly enough the manager of a rival bank. We shall call the man Tom. It is not clear whether she was mining trade secrets out of the man (described as quiet and without maneno mingi).

Sources at the bank are still puzzled about 32 year old Millie. One source puts it thus;

“She did not have anything really special to make men turn. No legs that cause men‘s eyes to pop out, no butt, plain face and all. But it seems that the minute a man dated her the poor guy would just go crazy. Obviously I have no idea what she was giving them in private.”

The source goes on to point to the case of Tom who was in his 50s and seemingly a responsible family man until he started pushing with Millie.

Even as that passionate affair was going on, with the pair being seen together at popular social spots all over town, the bank manager was still busy buying shirts for one of her male employees (several years younger than her) at the bank branch she headed.

She was also giving him some extra attention after office hours. She is said to have admitted to another female employee who helped her secure a date with the hunk, that she had a crash on him. Mercifully the young employee (in his late twenties) is not married. Kumekucha has confirmed that the young man got a raise of almost double his salary in the annual review at the end of last year.

But it was her affair with Tom that brought disaster. Tom’s wife soon found out that she was the laughing stock of the city in the sun and was obviously not amused. She paid Millie a visit. Sources say that she kept her cool and behaved very arrogantly towards Tom’s wife. And what is worse, she continued seeing Tom with a vengeance.

The next thing workers at the bank knew was that Tom’s wife turned up at the Bank CEO’s office in a posh office in a Nairobi high rise building. The minute the woman got to the bank CEO’s office and confirmed that he was in, she caused a scene and started shouting at the top of her voice when the secretary told her it was not possible to see the boss, just then.

The commotion caused several workers to come out of their offices in panic wondering if the bank was being robbed by a crazed woman. Her trick worked like a dream and she was hurriedly granted audience with the embarrassed CEO and went on to explain her problem in great detail. Other workers in the office could hear her loudly and repeatedly asking what kind of people the bank employed that went after other people’s husbands'.

It is said that the CEO was shocked and had a heavy heart when he learnt that the woman was complaining about Millie. This is because Millie was one of his best managers.

Employees at the bank branch where Millie used to work remember her as a tough boss who could get an employee fired with a single telephone call.

Because her branch performed extremely well and was said to be the best, she seem to have always had the bank managements’ ears, including that of the CEO who fired her so abruptly.

One employee at the bank prepared a detailed report for Kumekucha;
 
“Whatever she requested … I mean demanded, it was given immediately. Be it need of more staff, some upgrade or modification of a certain function in the branch … it was granted … while other branch managers literally had to beg long and hard for such things. If one of her staff seemed more capable than her, he/she was quietly shut down by work overload or sheer frustrations that were not worth it at the end of it all. So powerful was she that she literally determined the kind of salary increment you would get, once you were put under her.

This led to many of the staff excessively sucking up to her… especially the men. It is said that she was such a performer that she quickly rose to branch Manager without the usual papers required for such a post.


She frequently screamed at employees because hers was what had to be done and done to perfection and any slight mistake was met with plenty of venom. She was definitely one with a lot of energy… and it seems her energy did not end at the office, hence her downfall.”

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Serious Doubt That Some MPs Had About IG Boinett

House rules prevent members from revealing what is discussed behind closed doors during committee sessions. However this did not stop information leaking out that there were serious concerns raised about new IG Joseph Boinett (pictured).

Top on the list were his degrees (obtained through distant learning) and the fact that he was rather junior with 400 officers outranking him at the time of his vetting.

What nobody is saying is that Kimaiyo a Kalenjin had to be replaced by a fellow tribesman to keep political temperatures at bay.
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Mombasa Landlord Evicts Woman For Too Much Strange Noises From Her Bedroom

There is plenty that happens in Mombasa that never hits newspaper headlines but surely hits the headlines in the sweltering streets.

Take the story of Janice for instant and how she has become a celebrity in many neighborhoods at the coastal city.

Men often forget the fact that a woman is a human being and needs to have fulfillment in a marriage just the way a man does. So what do you do if your husband has got issues of his own that hinder you as a woman from being fulfilled? You may be quick to suggest that you talk to him or seek professional help in the form of counseling. But what if the man gets violent when you make such suggestions?

Janice’s husband Tom did not care about a woman’s feelings, least of all his own wife’s. It is difficult to believe that in this day and age men would exist who are sure that sex is for their own enjoyment and their own enjoyment alone and that their wife should satisfy only their demands as a sense of duty. Janice always suspected that it may have had something to do with the small size of his member which may have dealt a big blow to his esteem and self confidence.

The situation got so bad “being used” by Tom, when he felt like it that she had no alternative but to do the very shameful act of “servicing” herself and using a pillow. She became so used to it that after a while she stopped crying afterwards.

Probably what keeps many women sane is the fact that they talk a lot to others about their sometimes extremely intimate problems and Janice talked to her close women friends and explained her predicament. Mostly they were shocked to hear the details, but her situation was so complicated that it really had no solution as far as they were concerned. After all divorce was not the kind of thing that is so readily acceptable in Africa. In fact divorced women were often looked down on as having something wrong with them, It was assumed that there could never be anything wrong with the man, it was always the woman.

Finally Janice could not bear it any more and walked out of the marriage and started dating other men. Luckily this was a little easy because the marriage had not produced any children and Janice’ friends were not surprised because a man who took less than a minute in the act every time would not have too big a chance of “scoring a goal” surely and causing the birth of any children.

But Tom was really sick in the mind because in a fit of jealousy a few months after Janice had left him, he confronted her and beat her up very badly. It was this beating that caused her to move out of town. Luckily her bosses understood her predicament quickly and posted her to Mombasa from Nairobi. She quickly settled down at the coast and ended up with a man (we shall call him James) who was about 10 years younger than her. One thing led to another and he moved into her house. He was just out of college and jobless.

James was very different from Tom. In fact he was the exact opposite of Tom and knew how to do everything to please and fulfill a woman. Indeed it is this that caused Janice to run into a more embarrassing problem.

It is difficult to tell why exactly she behaved the way she did, but it probably had to something to do with the almost 7 years of being trapped in a very unhappy marriage with Tom.

Janice problem was that she became very “noisy” when making out with James. So noisy in fact that her neighbors started complaining. For example they would be preparing to go to church with their children on a Sunday morning when suddenly the loud moans culminating into screams would start coming from Door No 4 (which was her door number in the first flats she lived in.)

Naturally the children would get concerned and ask why “aunty” was screaming so early in the morning, and was she being beaten or what?

In this way she has so far been evicted from at least 3 houses during the time she has been in Mombasa which is barely 3 years. In fact in one estate where she used to live she was some sort of celebrity and that is how we were able to get this story.

The amazing thing is that Janice does not seem embarrassed nor does she seem to care too much about being the kind of “celebrity” she is. Is it because she managed to get out of such a terrible marriage in one piece that causes her to be so oblivious of disturbing the peace?

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Raila Secret Recording By Ababu Namwamba

Ababu Namwamba has said that his current woes can be traced back to his party leader Raila odinga who is hell bent on "fixing him."

Just another ordinary day in Kenya politics where the attention is shifted from the facts to the "enemy" causing the facts to come to light. And this time Bwana Namwamba chose a very big fish to swim with. Non other than party leader and former Prime Minister, Raila Odinga. The reaction of Raila die-hards was rather predictable; "how dare he???"
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