Guess Who Will Gain Most From Uhuru’s Troubles?

Uhuru pictured with childhood sweetheart/best friend/now wife, Margaret. Kenyatta's candidacy for the presidency is way too emotional for Kenya's good.

The big question that many Kenyans are asking themselves this morning is; what dark forces have such control over presidential candidate Uhuru Kenyatta that they can get him to do exactly what they want? Are these dark forces from another country? Or possibly outer space? (LOL!!!)

The second question nobody is asking but is terribly important is what was Musalia Mudavadi’s motive for letting the cat out of the bag? It would appear that he is cutting his own feet by making public something so sensitive. Now why would he want to do that? Surely he must have known that his announcement will sound a death blow to a pact that some think would have landed him in State house.

One of my Kumekucha raw notes subscribers sent me a very angry email recently. He was wondering why I am always writing about State house this and State house that. “Don’t you have anything else to write about?” Another of my subscribers mockingly wrote to me pointing to a report I had written about the inner circles of TNA wanting to go for a rookie candidate for Uhuru’s running mate. “Ruto cannot be described as a rookie by any stretch of the English language…” they told me.

My raw notes subscribers do not pay me to sit down and create theories or go to bars to listen to gossip and then rehash that info. They pay for insider information and I always focus on giving them exactly that. It is NOT about me being proved right or wrong. Those with a little experience in the game of politics will know that it is usually very fluid and it will get more so as we head closer to the general elections. My work is to tell you what is happening and sometimes what’s taking place now may lead people to end up in a very different destination. Does that mean I was wrong telling you what was going on then?

After what has happened in the last few days, I hope it is now clear why I have been seemingly “obsessed” with State house. That is where Kenyan politics is being driven from at the moment. I don’t like it any more than you do but that happens to be the reality. I just laugh when people come up with all kinds of fancy, clever theories and analysis of what is going on. And some of these people are senior political reporters in leading newspapers.

The dark forces forcing Uhuru into making pacts are not from Mars. Try a well guarded address along State house Road, Nairobi. Why would Mudavadi cut his own feet and make public a secret pact? Try the same address as above for the answer. For now don’t ask me why, because I am still digging around to answer that puzzling million shilling question.

What beats me is why anybody would have thought for one minute that Uhuru stepping down for Mudavadi would deliver the Kikuyu vote lock sock and barrel to Mudavadi. Why it puzzles me is because I know the people running the presidential campaigns from State house are very smart people. But what the hell were they thinking?

Uhuru Kenyatta’s votes are NOT transferable to anybody not even to wildly popular Father Christmas himself.

In my view it is unfair for politicians to say that the Kikuyu have a bad habit of never voting for anybody other than their own and trying to apply that to our current political situation.

Let me tell you a little story. I like to ask questions constantly. Indeed I am always asking questions when I talk to people. When others are busy showing how clever and knowledgeable they are I am always asking questions and sometimes seemingly stupid questions.

The big question I have been asking is how did Uhuru grow so popular so suddenly? I have asked that question a million times in forums, villages, cities and everywhere. But those who know have been too ashamed to reveal the truth. Finally I discovered it just a few days ago.

In all the Kikuyu-bashing that has been going on most Kenyans have forgotten that the community which suffered the most and indeed has suffered like no other community on the entire continent of Africa are our dear Kikuyu brothers and sisters. Imagine a situation where you are a prosperous land owner one day employing thousands of farm hands and the very next day you are begging for food or sleeping with a sweaty smelly old man for cash to buy food at some IDP camp. Would you blame any community for getting terribly emotional?

Uhuru Kenyatta being charged at the ICC to the simple Kikuyu people on the ground is grave injustice. The people on the ground are saying; “They raped and plundered us and then they go and charge us for crimes against humanity letting off the aggressor lightly where the ring leaders ought to have been locked up and the key thrown in the middle of the Indian Ocean or even better the Atlantic.”

Uhuru Kenyatta is that kind of emotional candidate and that is the reason why the ICC arresting him just now would cause serious trouble on the ground.

Some Kumekucha readers read what a Mwangi or Kamau is saying in social forums and they assume that maybe Uhuru is not that popular. They forget that some of the people saying they will not vote for Uhuru hail from filthy rich families in Kiambu. But the political reality is that on  a small plot of 20 x 50 somewhere in Kiambu there are no less than 100 registered voters all saying, no Uhuru no voting while in the elitist families who read Kumekucha that is just the size of their swimming pool in a household with maybe 3 registered voters.

But having said that, for better or worse Uhuru’s candidature for the presidency is a train headed for a place called nowhere. He is a non-starter for the ballot even before the recent troubles. For the simple reason that the world is getting more serious about those whom they view as having committed crimes against humanity.

So where does that leave us? I will discuss this in the next post but let me give you a hint. For better or worse it suddenly makes one Peter Kenneth a very serious contender for the presidency.

This post is dedicated to my very good lady friend in the UK who wrote the following email to me this morning; “Chris , yu said it. Things are turning out funny. these politicians are so shameless. This Mungatana guy has suddenly become their spokesman. What a shame. Please fill me in with the latest. This is just like a movie. It  can only happen in Kenya.”

You will also enjoy reading shocking revelations in the following articles;

Where it all started Uhuru's secret deal with Kibaki in 2007
Just how clean is Mr. Safi Kama Pamba Peter Kenneth?

Is Uhuru Kenyatta a drunkard?

What is it that leading Presidential candidates in 2013 don't want you to know?

Fugitives of the International Criminal Court Flocking Together

Now that members of the so called Jubilee Alliance are so obsessed with contradicting Prime Minister Raila Odinga and working overdrive to act exact counter to any political step he takes, Kenyans are anxiously waiting for their next move to counter Zimbabwe Prime Minister Morgan Tsvangirai’s gracing of ODM’s historic National Delegates Convention last week .

We expect them to be inviting Zimbabwean dictator Dr. Robert Mugabe to be chief guest during their unveiling of their joint presidential candidate after the coming pre-determined nomination exercise between the two deputy Prime Ministers: - Uhuru Kenyatta and Musalia Mudavadi.

Kenyans won’t be shocked if the other guest of honor will be Sudan’s Gen. Omar al Bashir, the well known ICC fugitive.

 And talking of delegates, when did the URP (bank rolled by William Ruto) or UDF (bank rolled by Kibaki's kitchen cabinet), or even TNA (bankrolled by Kenyatta family) ever conduct grassroot elections to elect delegates that they are purportedly preparing to mobilise to select a presidential candidate? And why is URP's position as running mate locked and not open to democratic competition? See the mockery of democracy?

Of interest will be the main speeches. Observers are waiting with baited breath to see Dr. Mugabe urging them to be confident he will help them once in power on how to cling on to power next year if the Western powers decide to slap Kenyan with sanctions.

We can foresee an arrogant Dr. Mugabe advising the Jubilee coalition to organize in advance how to kick out European farmer, tourists, diplomats and investors, who are nothing but agents of neo-colonialists out to exploit Kenyans. He will urge Kenyans to prepare to be eating and surviving on one meal per day during the Jubilee presidency.

Of course he won’t fail to advice them strongly to revive the old special Branch, secret police units and violent youth groups to deploy regularly to protect the Jubilee presidency from the opposition who, he says are on the payroll of the colonialists. Kenyans are eager to listen to Gen. Al Bashir’s speech a speech that will plead with Kenyan voters to vote in the Jubilee Alliance, and especially the two ICC suspects so that Kenya and Sudan can form a confederation (Political Union) as a free region detached from the new International order, including the United Nations and the ICC.

It will be delirious to hear him promise to bankroll the Jubilee Alliance’s presidential candidate to ensure maximum victory. But many will be left wondering why if he is so moneyed why he has grabbed rich oil wells from the poor southern Sudanese neighbors.

May be the two great guests of the Jubilee Alliance will sign a “Nairobi declaration” with Jubilee Alliance’s Principal Uhuru Kenyatta to be prepared 24/7 to offer any of them sanctuary and political assylum in the event he is toppled by restless masses reacting to high inflation and humanitarian crisis.

Kenyans should be getting psychologically prepared to usher in a government on March 4,2013 whose chief advisors will be Dr. Mugabe and Gen. Omar El Bashir.