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Thursday, May 31, 2007

Jeff Koinange Was Already In Trouble Long Before This Blog Or Marianne Brinner Came Along, New Information Now Reveals

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Latest research by this blogger clearly shows that sacked CNN African correspondent Jeff Koinange, had numerous problems with work colleagues, bosses and news sources long before the alleged date rape incident, exclusively reported in this blog.

Sources say that he was not a team player and in fact resisted working with others. He once referred to a well known female colleague as "stupid school girl" (see distant lover's blog).

Then the huge incident that was really the beginning of the end for Kenya's most famous International journalist was the Niger Delta incident where furious Nigerian authorities accused him of paying alleged militias to pose for the CNN cameras. Although CNN officially denied the accusation, it is instructive that they quickly followed up the controversial incident with placating news items on Nigeria that were all positive. Many people even complained online at various forums that "CNN was missing" in the recent Nigerian elections. They were of course referring to the bitingly critical reports about Nigeria that they had become accustomed to. Interestingly Nigerian interests are a major source of advertising revenue from the African continent for CNN International.

This blogger has also found out that CNN monitor all staff emails that are sent and received through the official company email channel. Jeff Koinange sent most of his controversial emails to Marianne Brinner using this channel and it appears he was unaware of the snooping CNN executives. According to a female friend of Anderson Cooper’s within the CNN organization she has had a problem with her budding romance with Cooper over their emails being monitored and the relationship being discouraged by senior executives at the organization as a result.

Jeff Koinange has also been accused of accepting money to report favorably on the Nigerian government, long before the controversial Niger Delta incident. No doubt CNN executives were able to investigate all these allegations extensively given that unknown to Jeff they were monitoring his emails. Both Jeff and CNN strongly denied these accusations. CNN also moved the Africa base from Nigeria to South Africa and it is possible that this decision was made in the wake of the accusations.

Let me say that I have no satisfaction whatsoever in Jeff’s sacking from CNN and I cannot speculate as to the reasons why. I however take pride in the fact that no single story I have covered here has been proved inaccurate so far. It is a reputation that I will go to great lengths to protect.

Read further proof on the real reason Jeff was fired and why it had nothing to do with this blog (see entry for 31st May 2007).

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KissFM's New Daily: What Most People Don't Know About Circulation And Advertising

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Yesterday one of our regular readers, I believe her name is Mumbi wa Gikuyu, gave us a very interesting analysis of the advertising revenue possibilities of the much-anticipated new daily newspaper from one of Kenya's most popular radio stations.

The analysis was accurate and reflected very much the direction I think the management team at KissFM will take in structuring their brand new newspaper. Already there is plenty of evidence to support this, including the fact that the radio station has aggressively been airing spots advertising for sales representatives that are especially gifted.

But all this ignores an all-important structural truth about newspapers. And hat is the fact that it all depends on how an organization's revenue structure positions circulation.

In America the newspapers have traditionally relied heavily on advertising and that is why when Life magazine was first launched by Time Inc. (in those days. Today it's called Time Warner, after the merger with Warner Brothers), it almost shut down the media house because of it's higher than expected circulation and a decision taken to print enough copies to meet the huge unbudgeted-for demand. Structurally, the magazine was profitable assuming a certain level of circulation. But as circulation mounted and bearing in fact that the first photo magazine in the world was losing a certain amount per single copy printed, you begin to see the kind of problems that success can cause. Incidentally one solution would have been to raise the already high ad rates, but contracts had already been signed and besides it would not have been enough to cover the colossal unexpected circulation costs.

In Britain the newspapers are generally less bulky than in the US and are worked around the more traditional newspaper publishing business model of printed copies being able to pay for themselves and advertising coming in as an extra but also vital profit center. Meaning that it would be impossible for the Life magazine scenario to be played out in Britain.

The question here, is what makes more money? Advertising or circulation? This is a question that has been argued over for decades. However if we put the career of the most successful publisher in the world, Rupert Murdoch under a microscope, the answer is clear. The money is in circulation. It comes in cash and it comes every day, meaning that a successful newspaper must also have a very competent finance department that knows exactly what to do with a cash windfall to enhance profits. There are even those who believe (including this blogger) that a successful high circulating newspaper is also a financial company. Murdoch's largest cash cows that at one time accounted for more than 60 per cent of the News Corp revenue have for many years been The Sun, News of the World And The weekly American magazine that periodically carried stories on space alien and flying saucer sittings, The National Star (later renamed The Star). All three relied so heavily on circulation that the editor's job in one of them The Star was described as a "revolving chair" because Murdoch had no patience for editors who did not deliver massive circulation. It is hard to believe that the same publisher owns the highly prestigious Times newspaper in London and The Australian in his native country. In fact most of Murdoch's media empire as we know it today was financed by "sex story profits" from The Sun and News of The World.

The Daily Nation was founded on a policy of high circulation to the masses at a time when all the alternatives in Kenya were colonial mouthpieces like the Standard. In fact the Nation media group that you see today has over the years been built and financed mainly on circulation as The Standard enjoyed superior advertising revenue well into the late eighties. But a significant change of direction decision was made in the early 90s when the Nation started investing heavily in full color printing presses and emphasized on advertising while downplaying the circulation side. Accordingly circulation fell and today the Nation revenue strategy still leans heavily on advertising.

It is instructive that the highest copy sales in history ever achieved by a Kenyan newspaper happened in 1991 when the Nation carried a splash about the arrest of Nicholas Biwott and the late Hezekiah Oyugi. Around 330,000 copies were sold that memorable day. Today the Daily Nation usually struggles to break the 200,000 copies mark. Looking at demographics, including increased population and literacy, this is a big drop in circulation, but most of it is mainly self-inflicted. You cannot be both a good circulation newspaper and a good advertising newspaper. You have to have one as your main strength because many times some of your stories will upset advertisers (as clearly happened in the CNN Niger Delta instance that I talk about in my main post today. The difference is that this organization is in the kind of broadcast journalism where virtually all profits come in from advertising.)

But the very valid point raised by another Kumekucha regular (Taabu, I think) is the fact that hungry people hardly have the inclination to read or engage in national gossip. So would an emphasis on circulation work in this case? Actually, it probably would because this is an election year. The year in which newspapers always make windfall profits and mainly from copy sales, therefore having a circulation strategy and going very aggressively for circulation would be a good strategy for the new KissFM newspaper.

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All Mungiki Trails Are Leading Back To Politicians: Do You Realize What That Means?

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The Mungiki Order To The Police That Only President Kibaki Would Have Given

One of the facts that many Kenyans are determined not to believe is that the Mungiki menace is being financed and directed by leading politicians in the country. However arrests by the police over the last two weeks have proved this fact beyond any reasonable doubt. All their leads keep on ending up on the door step of politicians some of whom lost the last elections and are desperate to get back to parliament.

One thing about the Kenya police, however corrupt or whatever your views on their competency may be is that the record clearly shows that more often than not, they usually get their man. That is when politics is not allowed to interfere.

But the really big news in all this Mungiki chaos is that those who understand the behind-the-scenes turf wars that usually go on are more than a little puzzled. Take for instance the case of Juja MP William Kabogo. The stinking-rich MP has been hitting the headlines all week as his lawyers have been scrambling to court to keep him out of police cells. On Tuesday Police ignored high court orders, picked him up and held him overnight for questioning anyway, in connection to his links with the Mungiki affair. It seems that police have reason to believe that he has links with the outlawed sect. His lawyers however managed to get him out by enforcing the high court orders this morning.

So why is Hon Kabogo a special case? The facts are that in the past this man has been a very powerful figure in the country. Part of the reason has to do with his vast wealth and the other has to do with the kind of business Mr Kabogo operates. This is shrouded in mystery, which usually means that it is the sort of underworld-high-returns business one cannot talk about in a press conference. In fact Mr Kabogo is in the league of people who can easily finance a major presidential candidate's campaign on their own. Some analysts (including this blogger) even mentioned his name as a possible financier of President Kibaki's re-election bid. And that is why the fact that a man so powerful is having problems with the police is such big news.

It is clear from the way the police are behaving (ignoring high court orders) that they have received instructions from the highest authority in the land to get to the bottom of this Mungiki issue. The president deserves praise for this very brave move. I would confidently say that this is the bravest thing he has done in his entire term. It is also the right thing to do. Although politically it would be suicide because it is rapidly emerging that many of his strongest backers have links to Mungiki.

The really bad news from all this is that it is now crystal clear that The Mungiki objectives are purely political and are financed by politicians. And not some dark unknown figures with an unknown agenda to destabilize the country as most Kenyans are desperate to believe. In other words what we have here is politically instigated and financed violence. Period.

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Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Stop Press: Jeff Koinange Fired From CNN

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A leading American website quoting official sources has announced that Jeff Koinange is no longer with CNN.

This information comes after weeks of uncertainty when the most famous Kenyan journalist was off-air from CNN for long stretches of time. Jeff was CNN’s Africa correspondent.

The site says that while acknoledging that Jeff had left the network, CNN declined to give further comment over the issue.

Read the website report on Jeff Koinange leaving CNN

Jeff Koinange has been involved in two controversial incidents in recent months one where the Nigeria government accused him of paying people to pose for CNN cameras over the Oil Kidnappings in the Nile Delta. The other was a London date rape incident exclusively reported in this blog. This blogger recently discovered that our headlines which referred to Jeff as a Kenyan were in fact inaccurate as he now travels on an American passport.

Past stories in this blog on the Jeff Koinange date-rape saga
What furious date rape victim said
Breaking news, date rape incident
Date rape journalist's link with Nicholas Biwott

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My Westlands Homosexual Friend

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Homosexuality is an extremely sensitive topic and I am well aware that there are a number of my regular readers whose sexual inclinations would be shocking to most simple ordinary Kenyans.

However this is a story I want to tell to prove that there is a link between poverty and the increased inclination towards homosexuality in the country.

I met John (not his real name) for the first time in 1986 when I joined a leading marketing company in Nairobi. I was soon appointed his boss although I had found him at the company. Gradually I came to learn the story of his wife including how he had gotten his current job.

Although John was always very smartly dressed and even drove a small car (something he certainly could not afford from his salary), h came from a very poor family. I never got to know what became of his father but his mother was employed as a cleaner in one of those Asian hospitals in Nairobi. She had struggled and taken her son through school from her meager salary cleaning all sorts of dirt at the hospital.

Inevitably John got stuck in life immediately he completed his O-levels. He did not do well enough to proceed to A-levels and neither did his mother have the contacts to secure him a job. However somebody told John that he had some assets that would transform his life. To cut a long gory story short, he ended living with this mzungu man in Westlands as his "wife".

All his needs were supplied, including the job he had and other bigger jobs he moved to later on and of course his car. I was his boss but I did not have a car.

One time I heard that the circumstances under which John had moved from under the roof his mother to his "husband's" house were controversial. There was even talk that his mother had one day stormed the Westlands residence to protest the living arrangement of her son. I'm not too sure what happened because there were conflicting stories. Some people said she was paid off and grudgingly accepted. Others said that she had cursed her son and stormed off.

I'm not too sure where John is now, but if he reads this I would like to appeal to him not to take it personally.

I remembered this tale when a reader here commented that Westlands is home to more than one nightclub for homosexuals. I've not been to Westlands for years but I can imagine the "business" being transacted at the clubs.

You can be sure that this subject of homosexuals is one that will not go away more so now when they are increasingly "coming out of the closet" as they say. And although it is certainly not going to be a national campaign issue and I also doubt whether it will carry significant votes in the Westlands Elections, it is an issue that I believe Kenyans need to make a clear policy about early. I for one would hate to see the country go in the direction of South Africa where gay marriages are now legal.

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William Ruto's Efforts To Bond With The Common Man

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Yesterday ODM presidential hopeful William Ruto was deep in Kalenjin country in the heart of the Rift Valley pushing selling himself to the people.

There are few things that I have ever agreed with Ruto about but in one of his speeches I did find myself nodding vigorously. Ruto says that the people making the decisions in Kenya have no idea what it is like sleeping hungry, an experience that is all too common with many Kenyans these days. He added that many of these leaders on seeing grown up Kenyans walking bare foot (and there was a sizeable number of wanainchi at this meeting in Kabarnet that were bare foot) think that they have just decided to leave their shoes at home. They do not realize that they do not own a single pair.

But while many Kenyans can identify with what Ruto is saying, images of anniversary Towers in 1992 will not leave my mind. This was the headquarters of the notorious Youth For Kanu so-called pressure group. But in actual fact it was a conduit for distributing vast amounts of cash to ensure that the electiosn went in favor of President Moi.

There are many dirty tricks and cash distribution incidents that have happened since (including throwing cash from a helicopter recently done by Moneybags Livondo) but all of them pale in comparison to the goings on at Anniversary Towers in 1992. Cash was being distributed in boxes that filled large halls and were piled right up to the roof. Jus try and imagine that.

We now know that a lot of that cash found its' way into William Ruto's pocket. To his credit he had the sense to invest it. Some of his colleagues are now dead and lived the last few months of their lives unable to afford shoes to put on (I kid you not). Still this money was not earned honestly and chances are that Mr Ruto is still greedy for more cash deep I his heart and has no interest in improving the living standards of the Kenyan people. Okay chances are that he will not be president, but the truth is that he is positioning himself as a tribal chief for a cabinet appointment in one of the "big ministries" where he will use his position to enrich himself. It is laughable that ODM should even have sanctioned such a man to run for the presidency, but that's Kenyan politics for you.

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Tuesday, May 29, 2007

New KissFM Daily: Why The Nation Should Be Worried?

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There has been much talk about the soon-to-be launched KissFM daily newspaper.

The skeptics feel that the Kenyan daily newspaper market is already overcrowded with no less than 6 daily newspapers and it is highly unlikely that any new entrant will cause any waves. The six are, Daily Nation, East African Standard, Kenya Times, Taifa Leo, People Daily and the most recent entrant Business Daily, from the Nation Media group.

Still there are those who are highly excited because they believe that the strong marketing approach that has made KissFM so commercially successful can be transferred to the proposed new daily making this new daily the most exciting thing that has ever happened on the Kenyan publishing scene for a long time.

Most keen observers agree that although daily newspaper publishing is quite a tricky game, chances are the new daily will create lots of waves in the market and the giant Nation media group does have cause for worry. So why should the Nation be worried?

I believe that the market has changed so much that the very strength of the Nation can easily turn into a disadvantage. Regular readers of this blog will know what the Daily Nation's key strength is. It is an amazing unmatched distribution system that reaches deep into rural Kenya. Smart Nation managers looking to cut down on the high expenses of this network as circulation continued to fall, stumbled on the idea of a courier service and today the Nation courier services division is one of the key profit centers and the fastest growing division in the media group.

But now there is a clear emerging market segment of younger workers and professionals with different needs and interests from those of the much older editors who call the shots at Nation. This is the soft underbelly of the Nation that the new daily will no doubt seek to capitalize on. It is instructive that the KISS radio station has been very successful in reaching this market segment and it likely that they will be able to find the right formula to reach the same market in the print media.

There is little doubt that the successful radio station will be heavily relied on to market and promote the new newspaper. It will be very interesting to see the direction the new daily takes.

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Why The Standard Newspaper Is A More Profitable Property Today

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In recent times there has been a lot of criticism against the Standard Newspapers newfound personality. It is obvious that some Kenyans are very uncomfortable with the new sensational approach.

Yet the numbers from the newspaper's accounting department tell a different story. After years of losses, the Standard group is now in the black and is consistently churning out profits. Circulation has also now started creeping upwards after years of stagnation.

So why is it that so many Kenyans seem to be upset?

Actually the problem is that these disgruntled Kenyans want the Standard to be another Nation, which is the mistake managers at the newspapers have been making for a long time. There can only be one Nation. Basic marketing tells you that you need to develop your own character and curve out your own niche in the market so that you are distinctly different competitors more so where a newspaper is concerned.

Kenyans are not aware that in the UK the highest circulating daily is not the highly respected Times or even the Observer, but is in fact the tabloid The Sun which was the first daily newspaper in the country to feature a topless page 3 girl. Today the page 3 girl is usually completely naked.

For media magnate Rupert Murdoch, this tabloid newspaper along with the even more notorious Sunday newspaper, The News Of The World have been the biggest and most consistent and valuable cash cows. They usually sell millions of copies while the times do only a few hundred thousand.

It seems that the East African Standard has editorially taken that direction in recent times, although this has been done rather hesitantly a clear sign that there are still some old hats in positions of power and influence at the newspaper.

My own experiments in the Kenyan print media have proved to me that there is a huge untapped and mostly ignored market for a sensational mass-market publication. More so in recent times when major changes have transformed the Daily Nation, more and more into an elitist daily. Even the Standard would be better off launching another title since it is still difficult for it to shake off its' up market colonial past, being the oldest newspaper in the country. The Standard was born in 1903.

It is interesting how none of the daily newspapers have ever considered launching a mass market daily or weekly. Even when the gutter press in Kenya still thrives on big headlines, typos, misty photographs and stories lifted from the daily press.

The situation is very different in neighboring Tanzania where at least two of the major daily publishers have an afternoon newspaper targeted at the mass market for which they sell more copies than the morning titles. The afternoon newspaper, Alahsiri from the Reginald Mengi group leads the pack. Mengi's entrepreneurial rags to riches story reads like a fairy tale that is a little hard to believe. The business was started as a small family enterprise assembling ballpoint pens in the living room. Today it is one of the largest privately held group of companies in East Africa.

Interestingly in Kenya we even have some gutter press publishers desperately trying to imitate the Daily Nation, not realizing that their readers are with them precisely because they do not resemble the now elitist daily.

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Monday, May 28, 2007

Nation Sex Dossier Authors Are Back: What Is The Real Motive?

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The Nation sex dossier authors have emerged again after a long quiet period when readers wondered (here and elsewhere on the net) where they had disappeared to or why they were lying low.

Interestingly they went quite immediately after the dramatic arrest of former Nation crime editor Stephen Muiruri and many suspected that the arrest and harassment of Muiruri has scared them into hiding.

Meanwhile the management at Nation media house bent over backwards to please the journalists and take “the fire” off the strange but effective muck campaign.

Now earlier today, the “dossier authors” posted another of their typical long posts in the Kumekucha comments area. Nor surprisingly the writers wonder what business the largest media house in East an d Central Africa has writing a strong wordede editorial on the resignation of World Bank President, Paul Wolfowitz over a scandal involving his girl friend.

The latest dossier then goes on to detail what has been happening at the nation during this “quiet period”. The big news is that the document claims that there are several senior journalists on their way out of the media house. It is revealed that experienced News Editor Catherine Gacheru has already left for the upcoming daily newspaper being launched by popular FM station, KissFM

Read the dossier for yourself HERE where it was posted today. Please scroll down to the second comment.

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Violence Marring Voter Registration

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Electoral commission chairman Samuel Kuvuitu admits that voter registration has been slowed and hindered in some cases by the state of insecurity in the country.

He mentions the Mt Elgon area and the notorious Molo at the top of his list. Also included is the Kiambu area where fear has gripped residents like never before.

One wonders iof this was not the whole motive in the first place behind all these strange so called land clashes that only happen on the eve of a general election.

Incidentally yesterday was a particularly bloody night in kariobangi where two police officers were killed and several wananchi in a shootout that suddenly ensued between the police escorting some suspected Mungiki members and gunmen who must have been their colleagues trying to rescue them. Among the dead was a 10 year old boy whop had been sent to the shops but was caught in the crossfire

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Raila’s Other Hammer

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It is quickly emerging that these elections are going to be remembered as the “spin doctor” elections.

After Raila’s Hummer vehicle caused so much excitement amongst his supporters, Raila quipped that it was the same “Nyundo” (swahili for hammer—the tool you use to drive in nails) that he was going to use to deal with the Kibaki administration.

The Sunday nation newspaper reported yesterday that Raila has been seen on the campaign trail carrying a hammer. Quite rightly the writer wonders why, since the ODM symbol is an orange. Phil, my man, do you have any idea what is going on?

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Sunday, May 27, 2007

How This Blog Will Soon Be Illegal In Kenya

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If this government and the ever smiling Ag Amos Wako have their way Kenya will soon have a ridiculous law on its’ books that will make opposition politics virtually impossible to practice in these shores.

The proposed law seeks to criminalize incitement and hate speeches. At a casual glance, this may appear to be just what the doctor ordered because the country is currently reeling under increased incidences of sop called ethnic/land skirmishes most of which have been linked to politics and inflammatory remarks made by politicians.

But the truth is that there are so many sensitive issues that can be termed inflammatory today that the law would in effect just shut down all manner of opposition politics.

For instance, there is the issue of the increasing divide between the rich and the poor in the country. The truth is that this situation has been brought about and perpetuated mainly by corruption in high places including land grabbing. So if the law is passed, any discussion of this matter can easily earn somebody 7 years in jail.

And there are many other examples, including the thorny issue of tribalism which if discussions in this blog are anything to go by is just the sort of subject that makes most Kenyan’s blood “boil” rather quickly.

There is a real danger that such a ridiculous law could just be passed. Looking at the numbers on the side of the government of national unity and the numerous defections expected as politicians realign themselves with the most popular political vehicles on the ground, this law could sail through just like the other ridiculous media bill is destined to sail through the August house.

One wonders how these guys have the audacity to squeeze in such bills in a very busy schedule that has a lot more pressing issues on its’ plate, like the constitutional review for instance.

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Saturday, May 26, 2007

In Praise Of All The Wonderful Regular Kumekucha Contributors

Every day some really wonderful Kenyans spend a sizeable part of their day at this blog and take time to read my posts and never fail to leave a comment.

Many times I write the sort of post that my old English literature teacher at Lenana would have called “not even third rate.” I am firmly rebuked and corrected and life moves on. Many other times we fail to agree. Like yesterday when I published an interview with a young aspirant for the Westlands seat, which to me is the new face of Kenyan politics we must support with all our hearts. It is true that I said this blog will discuss political ideas rather than personalities, but here I was mainly referring to the presidential elections. I personally think that this blog can be a useful place to get an idea of who is standing where. And surely how can a blog that was formed to usher in a new generation of political leadership fail to support individuals who are on the forefront of it?

Anyway this post is not about me (the next one is). This one is a dedication to Taabu, the poetic one that has been called my sidekick but who has filled this content with such poetic content that it makes the visits of so many thousands that much more enjoyable daily.

I would also like to thank Phil. He’s obviously a Raila supporter but a very sober Kenyan who argues his points so convincingly. Sir, have you considered going into politics?

Then there is Vikii. Oh Vikii, my dear Vikii. The guy admits to making posts when he is drunk. So those times when he gets really abusive, I assume that he has overdone it with whatever he takes to inspire his biting but incisive comments.

Then there’s my second favorite woman. Her name is Vee. She was here long before the rest of you got here and she still finds time away from her busy cnstantly piling intrain to make her voice heard.

Who is my favorite woman? I though you’d never ask. It’s real Kikuyu woman. She’s carefully side-stepped all my advances so far but I still feel drawn to her and my heart always skips a beat when I see her comment. Don’t ask me why, maybe she reminds me too much of my own Kikuyu beauty, without whom I would not be here today entertaining you all (but that is a story for another day—I wish never).

Then there is unpredictable Mulwaa. No two comments of his are the same and I guess that is why he is probably one of the most honest (in terms of laying bare his feelings) because he writes according to mood. Really spices up this blog

Lastly there is the new kid on the block, Kalamari. Still a little early to make a comment but he has arrived here with a bang.

These are the real heroes and heroines of Kumekucha. The people who keep this blog so interesting and with traffic forever climbing so steeply.

From the bottom of my heart, thank you all and please remember that you must not always agree with me or disagree, what I beg of you is to always speak your mind, that’s what makes you all so interesting.

And for the multitude of other folks who leave comments under anonymous, your contribution is important but please get a pen name so that we can all keep track of who you are.

Ladies and gentlemen I always look forward so much to our meetings here as I hope you do. Have a Kumekucha day folks.

Where Did You Go To School Kumekucha?

Here are two recent comments that I would like to talk about;

Anonymous said...
Chris/Kumekucha,

Thanx for what you have said. I wish i knew your second name and we could be talking business.
I had a word with a former colleague at the UON and I was told much. I dont dwell on that. lets not say anything about quality. It is not my wish to answer along lines that will make me fear meeting you in person. One day I will and we shall laugh. In one of your posts today, you told me that I am unprofessional (or rather you tried to belittle me for making a typographical error. EREONE and you even said that it should be EVERYONE. Thank you. But in the same reply, you made an error on the word thoise. Is it SIN that I made an error and you did not.
In another post, you have in your 'headline' ORDOR and again ODOR in the body. No sin or mistake there: It is Kumekucha!
The San Fransisco Times has nothing to do with brainwash. There is one journalist in New York (my former student) who visited the blog after the Jeff rumours and contacted me through email wondering why journalists from some parts of the world 'witch hunt' and that is the time I contacted a lecturer at the UON. Indeed he told me that a former lecturer at School of Journalism has tasted your broadside.
This journo had a story about a West African working as an INTERN in their newspaper from the State UNI and always had journalists from his home town writing nasty things to the editors about him.
In anycase, I am not even in San Fransisco I am lecturing in New York and I have been told you went to my old school; CHANGES, though no one knows your other name or full names.
11:13 AM
mulwaa said...
Chris, i am just curious, where did u go to school? i know where u went for high skul but i want to know before and after that. From what u write, it is obvious that You are amazingly intelligent and that is why i am asking.

Very few kenyans can match your ideas, imaginations and arguments. I would love to go tho those skuls that u attended.



Dear Mr Professional, I am sorry for my outburst, I should have kept my cool amid your biting opening remarks. Now who started the typos thing? Please read your earlier comment.

Let me take this opportunity to thank you for visiting Kumekucha and making your real feelings felt here. That is what this blog thrives on.

I know the former lecturer you are talking about and the story on him is 1000% accurate. I triple-checked it myself.

We may not agree on blogs and journalism, but at least we agree that having a civil discussion and agreeing to disagree is the way to go. Please use my email and give me some advice on how I can improve this blog. I will really appreciate that. Yes, I am always willing to learn and that brings me to my next point about where I went to school. Yes it is true that I was in Lenana for six good years of my life and I hope this lecturer guy is not “Bimbo” whom I know and he knows me too.

But where I went to school is besides the point in my view. Mulwaa, if your flattering remarks about my creativity have any truth in them then the credit must go to the person who taught me eagerness to constantly learn. Or to answer your question in another way, I am still very much in school. For security reasons, this post will continue one day in the near future, when I will publish even my photograph here. That will be the day huh!

Distant Lovers Burns Hit Counter

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Knowing full well that many will use this post to confirm that I am on a ‘witch hunt’ I just thought that I should report that the blog Distant Lovers has broken all records and yesterday registered close to 1,000 unique visitors. For a blog that is barely a week old, that is a record. It took Kumekucha over one and half years to reach that mark in consistent daily traffic.

Congratulations Mariiane. I believe you when you say that you are doing it for all those frightened women out there who were not able to fight back.

What does this mean? It means that people from all over the world are visisting this blog. It means that the captivating love story being told in this blog (for the literature students) is attracting all sorts of people

Internet Home Based Business: All You Ever Wanted To Know, As told to you by an expert who makes a good living online

Menstruation Odor Causes Marriage To Elude Woman

Friday, May 25, 2007

Young Entepreneur To Face "Bully Boy" Gumo In Westlands Constituency

Countdown to elections 2007*****Westlands Constituency*****Jonathan Mueke



Jonathan Mueke: Ready to face violent foe in Westlands

Kumekucha will fully support our new generation of leaders seeking political office. The man we feature today is an excellent example of the new generation of leaders that Kenya needs badly.
I appeal to all friends of Kumekucha to put their full weight and support behind these guys and if you know of any other candidates out there who deserve some publicity here please drop me an email at umissedthis at yahoo dot com.



Kumekucha: What is your vision for Westlands?

In a nutshell my vision for Westlands is to see it become the business process outsourcing hub of East Africa . I also envision the constituency as a leader in service delivery and education. Attaining this vision will see the building of infrastructure, creation of jobs, reduction of poverty and increase in security.
To read my entire vision, please visit www.jonathanmueke.com
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Also published today;

Kalonzo "Obama" Musyoka?
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Kumekucha: Why did you choose to stand in Westlands?

I was born, raised and schooled in Westlands. Having lived in the constituency all my life, Westlands is pretty much the community I belong to.


Kumekucha: The incumbent is known to be very violent; do you have a plan to deal with this?

Yes, I do have a comprehensive plan to deal with the incumbents violence


Kumekucha: Younger candidates have often been accused of not being in touch with the needs of the people. Please comment.

I disagree with the accusation. Young people constitute over 70% of Kenya ’s population. How can we not be in touch with our own needs?


Kumekucha: Who is your preferred Presidential candidate? Please give reasons

Being a member and supporter of the Orange Democratic Movement – Kenya (ODM-K), I believe that the 8 presidential candidates are fit lead this country. My belief is strengthened by the fact that the eventual flag bearer will incorporate the visions of all other ODM-K presidential aspirants into his/her vision. This vision will therefore be an ODM-K vision.

I prefer an ODM-K presidential candidate as I subscribe to the vision of infrastructure building, free secondary school education, poverty reduction, action on corruption, free healthcare, national security, economic prosperity, anti-tribalism and good governance. All ODM-K presidential candidates subscribe to the same.


Kumekucha: Tell us a little about your background (including professional experience).

I was born 30 years ago in Nairobi and attended Kilimani Primary School and then Nairobi School for my secondary school education. I left for the USA where I obtained a BSc. in Computer Science and an MBA in Entrepreneurship & Global Information Technology.

I have 10 years professional experience in the IT sector with 6 of the 10 years in managerial positions. My professional experience has all been in fortune 500 companies within the retail, automotive and financial sectors. I currently sit on the board of 2 companies, 1 in Kenya and the other in the US .

My business interests are in real estate and information technology.

Kumekucha: Westlands is a constituency where there is a lot of racism targeted at ordinary Kenyans. How do you plan to deal with this?

The racism targeted at ordinary Kenyans primarily has to do with poor labour laws. Once in parliament, I will work closely with the Central Organisation of Trade Unions (COTU) and the Ministry of Labour to ensure that legislation which protects the Kenyan worker is passed and enforced. Those found in breach will be dealt with accordingly.

When it comes to preferential treatment in areas other than labour, the ordinary Kenyan will need to be educated on his/her rights. Workshops around the constituency can achieve this.


Kumekucha: How are you funding your campaign?

My campaign is funded by friends, family and well wishers.


Kumekucha: What word of encouragement would you give to other young candidates?

If they are in it for the right reasons, then the other young candidates already are different than our traditional leaders and therefore have an upper hand. The electorate has changed and there sure is hope. Keep at it!


Kumekucha: What have you done for Westlands constituents so far?

Youth and Women empowerment seminars, launched several youth groups, assisted in over 10 fundraisers as the chief guest (schools, churches, welfare groups, funerals), free health clinic in Kangemi (over 4,000 people), sponsored soccer tournament for Runda Youth Sports Association - Githogoro, sponsored community clean up and tree planting in readiness for the World environment day, placed several constituents into factory jobs.

Kumkucha: Any other comments/message you have.

The electorate has changed in Kenya and opportunity is now ripe for young leaders to get into public service. We need to position ourselves as the youth for change and speak in one voice as we demand for our rightful positions in the country’s leadership.

It is our responsibility to take Kenya to the next level by transforming her into an African Tiger. Let’s turn this cause into a movement! For that to happen we need all the support we can get.

Please visit www.jonathanmueke.com to see how you can get involved.


Internet Home Based Business: All You Ever Wanted To Know, As told to you by an expert who makes a good living online

Menstruation Odor Causes Marriage To Elude Woman

Kalonzo "Obama" Musyoka?

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There is no doubt that Kalonzo Musyoka handlers have been watching a lot of American TV and more specifically Senator Barack Obama's campaign for the presidency.

Yesterday Musyoka's huge entourage brought business to a standstill along Ngong Road as he finally went to present his nomination papers as an ODM presidential candidate.

The whole scene reminded me of 1997 in the run up to the presidential elections when candidates went to present their papers to the electoral commission. The Raila Odinga and Charity Ngilu entourages were huge. In fact just looking at them you would have been convinced that the two were front-runners to win the presidency.

A few days later Daniel arap Moi and Mwai Kibaki quietly presented their papers to the electoral commission and the press made a big deal over the fact that they briefly shook hands at the unexpected meeting. Well as you know those two "quiet" candidates emerged as the top two that year. Interestingly all other candidates who have presented their papers so far have done so quietly, no doubt having handlers who do not see the need for a big statement to "prove" how popular they are.

Internet Home Based Business: All You Ever Wanted To Know, As told to you by an expert who makes a good living online

Menstruation Odor Causes Marriage To Elude Woman

Menstruation Odor Causes Marriage To Elude Woman

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Hate or love this blog, one thing that both our friends and foes agree with is that there is no subject that we will fear to discuss here. Many folks have "no go zones" that they will not touch with a forty-foot pole. Kumekucha does not.

Take for instance this sad story that we have published today about a woman (her age is not given) who believes that she gets dumped by men because of a natural function of her body, namely menstruation. She believes that in her case the odor caused is excessive.

Yours truly has done a little research and we welcome the rest of you out there to make a contribution and help out our sister.


Go now to the Menstruation Odor Causes Marriage To Elude Woman article.

Internet Home Based Business: All You Ever Wanted To Know, As told to you by an expert who makes a good living online

Menstruation Odor Causes Marriage To Elude Woman

Thursday, May 24, 2007

The Demons Of Parliament In Kenya And Why Our MPs Should Not Surprise Us

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One of the few Raila Odinga policies I do not agree with is the idea of pushing Kenya towards parliamentary democracy and concentrating all the power in parliament and the so-called honorable members of the august house.
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Also published today;

New twist in rape saga after a telephone call from the doctors

Quip of the day;
You have to wear the shoe to know where it pinches.
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Hey! Hold on a second. Parliament and Kenyan parliamentarians have a terrible image that is well deserved. These are the guys who increase their salaries and allowances at the drop of a hat. As you read this there are dozens of poverty stricken Kenyans plotting on how to get elected MP, not to help out constituents but for the sole purpose of putting an end to all their money troubles.

One of the first things the 10th parliament must do (I fear this is wishful thinking) is to reduce the salary of an MP to about Kshs 5,000 monthly. Let us have MPS who are going to parliament to improve the lot of Kenyans, and not simply to breath life into their ailing bank accounts.

As I have said here before, I love to study history and I’m a firm believer ion the adage that if you want to understand the future, dig into the past. Well my digging has come up with a gem.

There is clear proof that Kenyans hardly need expect anything different from what we have seen in our legislators.

The current parliament evolved from the Legco or legislative council. This was filled with mzungu farmers and idlers whose sole motive was to protect THEIR OWN INTERESTS in the British protectorate that was Kenya then. The settler population was small and when compared to the pompous racist guys that used to pollute the August house, one cannot strictly say they represented anybody but their individual selves.
Meanwhile the people who really needed representation, the majority of Kenyans (the natives) as they were referred to, were not represented. That began to change in 1957 when the first handful of African leaders were elected.

In other words, the tradition of parliament in Kenya ha always been self representation first and then maybe later something can be looked into concerning the rest of humanity.

Even as we now shout ourselves hoarse about our preferred presidential candidates, what has parliament done for the people of Kenya other than being a burden that we can hardly wait to vote out after 5 long years that seem to last forever.

Those who understand the spiritual know that the foundation of something is very important. The truth is that the foundation of our parliament is rotten to the core. Little wonder that we have seen over the years genuine honest people going to parliament with a genuine desire to help their constituents achieve something. Alas, the minute they get in there, they are overwhelmed by the spirit that rules the place and they start behaving exactly the same as the idiot who was there before them.

Maybe what we needed was not the much hyped renovation of the old place but a completely new location where we can put up new foundations of a new [parliament that will be different from what we have seen thus far.

Meanwhile I would appeal to Raila Odinga to rethink his intention of supporting the transfer of power to parliament. That is sheer madness. It is better to keep a strong executive, evil as it may be and have parliament acting as a check and balance. This is preferable in Kenya at the moment to the Westminster model of an all powerful parliament and a mere prime minister who is as powerful as his party is in the house.

Internet Home Based Business: All You Ever Wanted To Know, As told to you by an expert who makes a good living online

New Twist In Rape Saga As Medical Concerns Kick In

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If you have been reading the daily entries in the now extremely popular blog Distant Lovers. You will know that a member of the still powerful Koinange family (there was a time in Kenya when that name would make most full grown men pass urine in their trousers) has this week gotten in touch with the publisher of the explicit blog. She begged the author and date rape victim to stop publishing the blog, more so the damaging family secrets involving who is not talking to who etc. You can read the details for yourself at the blog.

But the really shocking development today is medical in nature. The rape victims’ doctors called her yesterday out of the blue and seem to either disbelieve the test results they got or there appears to have been some mix up that has caused them to ask for new blood samples. The victim has a terrible hunch, she says at the blog, based on the reaction nurses had towards her as they took new samples. They must have looked at her the way a person looks at a condemned person. Personally my view is that whatever the doctors are not saying, they will have to say in the end and although it is a terrible wait for the final verdict, one can only act on confirmed reports and scientific data.

But the whole point I want to raise today is just how terrible the consequences of rape are on a woman. Not only does she have to live with the nightmares, but she also has to pay for the medical tests and then pay for treatment too and in some cases live with a disease until the end of their days. A sexually transmitted disease like Herpes for example has no cure. If it is a date rape incident like it is in this case, then that would be the high price of admiring some guy and thinking in your mind, maybe.

Mercifully some rapists these days use condoms (like in some horrifying bus and matatu rapes in Kenya in recent times) but that in my book makes only a small difference. It is a known fact that the virus that causes Aids can easily penetrate a condom, let alone the frequent “punctures” that tend to occur.

Spare a though today for the women that are our sisters, daughters and so on, who go through so much, silently and mostly without complaining. Spare a though too for Ms Brinner and put yourself in her shoes for a minute. She will have to wait, worried, scared and wondering what the verdict will be. And that wait could be weeks. It is a matter of life and death now. Include her in your prayers.

Internet Home Based Business: All You Ever Wanted To Know, As told to you by an expert who makes a good living online

Popular holiday spot we can learn from

message from our sponsors;
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This hot tourist spot is best known as the home of the world famous Walt Disney World. But there is much more to Orlando Florida and it also boasts of high-end shopping areas, luxury resort hotels, cultural venues and other family-oriented activities.

A useful site for any tourist to find there way around in Orlando is Orlando.com which offers the most comprehensive travel and vacation arrangements in Orlando, with a travel guide offering tips on entertainment, dining, nightlife and so on. So next time you're looking for a hotel in orlando you now know exactly where to go.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Mungiki: Can Kenyans Handle The Truth?

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The Mungiki movement first reared its' ugly head in 2000.

The timing speaks volumes. President Daniel Arap Moi was serving his last three years in office and was expected to hand over power to a new president in 2002. It was a time of great uncertainty and fear in the country because Kenya the coming scenario was unprecedented. There had never been a situation before where the all-powerful president of Kenya had handed over power. Many believed that Moi would come
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Also published today

Why Mungiki is the hungry lion somebody forgot to feed

Quip of the day
Democracy don't rule the world, You'd better get that in your head; This world is ruled by violence, But I guess that's better left unsaid.
Bob Dylan (American folksinger, b.1941)
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up with some excuse to extend his presidency. And even if he did hand over power it looked like the results would still be chaos because the opposition had never managed to agree on a single presidential candidate. It was much more unlikely that they would do this, this time round when Moi was clearly not going to be a candidate.

The first thing that Kenyans noticed was that the Mungiki sect seemed to be untouchable. It was clear that they had very powerful backing because even the police seemed to fear to take any action.

In one of the rare peaceful demonstrations that the sect has had, which took place sometime in 2002, the group declared support for Uhuru Kenyatta as a presidential candidate. Uhuru hurriedly issued a statement distancing himself from the group.

Political analysts theorized that the group had been formed as a private army to take care of certain powerful interests in the country. But one thing everybody was sure of was that Mungiki had the backing of the government. This was further confirmed in 2003 when it emerged that members of Mungiki had obtained military land rovers fully armed and with sophisticated communication equipment for use during the 2002 campaign period. It was clear such a move would have required clearance from the very top. Not even a cabinet minister would have had the authority to allow for such a dangerous stunt.

But what were the objectives of the sect? This is the part of the whole Mungiki mystery that has puzzled analysts for a long time. However it was clear that inspiration for the movement came from a snuff-taking religious/political movement that had been formed in 1992 called the Tent of the Living God whose objective was to take back members of the Kikuyu tribe to traditional worship practices. Some shrewd Kanu hawk had no doubt seen the usefulness of such a group in helping fulfill selfish political ends.

There are those who speculate that the intention of the Moi government was to divide the Kikuyus and ensure that unity became more and more difficult to achieve. Those who in this school of thought point to the preoccupation the Moi administration always had in "dealing with the Kikuyu" whom they always saw as a serious threat to the Moi presidency. They also point to the fact that the Mau Mau movement in the 50s that has uncanny similarities with Mungiki (including the appetite that has been displayed in recent times of beheading people) failed because it divided the Kikuyu community right down the middle. Moderates felt that the group was too radical to achieve much while long suffering realists saw the need to use violence if only to get powerful forces in London to start paying attention to the Kenyan situation. Then there was the fact that the Mau Mau never fought for Kenyan independence but were in fact a land freedom army. Their intention was to have the prime land grabbed from then by the colonial administration, returned.

Why Mungiki Is The Hungry Lion Somebody Forgot To Feed

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One of the smart things those who founded Mungiki decided on was that the movement should be self-sustaining. That meant extortion mafia-style in the areas where they operated.

In fact this has been going on for a long time without anybody paying much attention. However as the number of youths in the ranks of the sect has grown, so as the appetite for cash increased. It is instructive that Mungiki operations are only to be found in Central province and Nairobi. Even close neighbors to central province where the circumstances are very similar like Meru and Embu, have no trace of Mungiki in their area.

But the really dangerous implications that Kenyans need to wake up and pay attention to is the reason for the rapid swelling in the ranks of Mungiki adherents, who are usually young people. The argument amongst the Mungiki is that they need a source of income because their land was snatched away from their fore-fathers by the mzungu. However at independence instead of this land being returned, it ended up in the hands of a new master, namely the ruling class. People like Kenya's first president, Mzee Jomo Kenyatta and those thought to be close to him, grabbed land like there was no tomorrow.

The result is that today in Kenya the situation is worse than it was during colonial rule. It is whispered that on the highway between Nairobi and Nyeri all the land is mostly owned by two families—one of them is the Kenyatta family.

It is now seems that the Mungiki monster created for selfish political motives is rapidly evolving to be another Mau mau. It is also clear that getting recruits in the current desperate situation most Kenyans find themselves in is not a problem. Only last week police were desperately trying to find the source of leaflets targeting youths and urging them to rise up against the status quo.

His should be the wake up call that something drastic needs to be done about the Mungiki crisis before we have youths spread across the country looking for opportunities to separate people's heads from the rest of their bodies.

The government needs to negotiate with those behind the movement to find solutions and alternative ways for young people in this country to earn a decent living honestly. This needs to be done very urgently and before it is too late.

There are certain mostly Nairobi and Central province politicians who appear to know more than the rest of us about the Mungiki movement. One of them is Embakassi legislator David Mwenje who rose from a mere ART (African Retail Traders) shop manager to an MP mainly through the use of violent terror gangs. The other is Defence minister Njenga Karume who has suggested that the government should negotiate with the group.

Life is precious and the must now come forward and tell Kenyans what they know. Retired President Moi should also tell Kenyans how such a dangerous grouping took shape during his watch and why nothing was done to nip it in the bud then.

Alas, this being an election year, it is quite likely that nobody will bother to take any action.

This can only end in disaster because we know that the Mungiki folks have an interest in the Langata parliamentary seat. The issue is not whether they can win it or not, but the kind of violence and bloodshed that would result. Kenyans from all walks need to start putting pressure on this government to take action now before it is too late otherwise we will be forced to believe that President Kibaki's administration would prefer a very violent election to meet their sick political objectives.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Mungiki and Why Kenyans Will Never Know What Really Hit Them

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As you read this there are some Kenyans just like you trying to come to terms with what has happened over the last few days.

To start with these families now have to prepare their dead for burial by somehow finding the head of the deceased and then finding the rest of the body and somehow bringing them together in the coffin. Imagine how distressing that must be, going to the police station and mortuary and telling them which body belongs to which head.

The horror of beheading (last seen in these shores carried out by the Mau Mau shortly before the emergency was declared in 1952) needs to be witnessed to be fully understood. In fact in one instance, a victim’s head was rescued from some dogs that were already hungrily feeding on it.

I am trying very hard not to say “I told you so,” but for today let me dwell on a few things that the government must do immediately, assuming that we have a government that is responsible and cares more for its’ citizens than about winning elections.

(i) Issue a comprehensive statement telling Kenyans exactly what the Mungiki movement is, where they came from, why they were formed and by whom. They should name names and spill ALL the beans.

(ii) The same government should call for a gathering of Mungikis and anti-Mungiki elements and sit down and listen to what the people have to say. It is easy to call the Mungiki terrorists but the truth is that they have their side of the story. That story I will tell in full here tomorrow. But for now I can tell you that it has to do with land and joblessness and the desperation that many ordinary Kenyans feel. The government should then negotiate for a settlement. Please note that failure to do this will mean that the Mungiki sect. (Yes, it is a sect and movement and you don’t destroy those by arresting a few people and charging them with murder) will continue to thrive in Kenya for years to come.

(iii) The same government should declare the Mungiki violence and all the other land/political related violence in the country a national disaster and then start dealing with it from that level.

(iv) A special committee at cabinet level should be quickly formed to address the Mungiki national crisis and to ensure that they do not influence other frustrated youths countrywide to join them. Let us bear in mind that what we have here is a burning match that is already too close to the spilt petrol.

Tomorrow exclusively in Kumekucha: Who the Mungiki are, why they were formed and by whom. Don’t miss it

Monday, May 21, 2007

Joseph Kamotho Abandons Opposition To Support Kibaki's Re-election Bid: A Story That Will Help You Explain This Mystery

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I am going to confess the most politically shameful thing I have ever done in my entire life and believe me, there have been many things I have done in this life that I would like to quickly forget.
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Also published today

Did the London date rape incident really happened?

Tribalism and Joseph Kamotho's selfish move

Quip of the day;
If you've read the blog distant lovers you will know that email love affairs can be deadly. Watch out!!
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It was December 1997 and in my wisdom I decided that I was going to carefully and soberly analyze all presidential candidates before casting my vote. So in late December I headed upcountry to the place where my father was born, up in the hills in the outskirts of Machakos town where I am registered to vote. In my mind I was still carefully analyzing all the candidates on more or less the same footing. It is rather cold up there in the hills and that makes a cup of steaming tea rather enjoyable in the evening. I enjoyed one with my mother as everybody else had a beer and we started discussing the main reason for this large family gathering—politics. Outside the strong wind whistled against the pine trees as was usually the case and it felt good to be back home.

Actually to be honest it was not a discussion but a one-sided analysis on how Charity Ngilu was the most appropriate person to snatch the presidency from Daniel Arap Moi. The tribal demons took over then. I should have stood my ground then and dismissed everybody there as a tribalist. But I didn't, I didn't even feel like it. I felt that Ngilu was doing the Kamba tribe proud. We the tribe that everybody laughed at because people were always starving in Ukambani, the place where a poor starving boy had eaten a dog they found dead on the side of the road. Now we were the first tribe in Kenya to produce a serious woman presidential candidate. That felt good. Now the world would know that even we the Kamba—sio kidogo. I felt that glow and warmth deep in the heart that you feel for your kin and blood relations when they do your family proud.

All reason was thrown out of the window and it was like we were all in a country called the Republic of Ukambani, rather than the republic of Kenya. I would have probably lynched you myself had you dared suggest that Kenyan interests were more important than Kamba interests.

The next morning we all trooped to the polling station and did our "three piece suit thing." That means from the presidency to MP to councilor we all voted SDP (Social Democratic Party) that was the party under which Ngilu was standing for the presidency. And so did all our neighbors. The only person in the entire village we wondered about was the local vet officer a guy called Wachira who hailed from somewhere in Nyeri. We were sure that he had most probably voted for his kin too—one Mwai Kibaki of the DP (Democratic Party) whom we didn't think much of because in the previous election (1992) he had been easily beaten by Kenneth Matiba and he had quite a reputation even in those days as a fence-seater.

We then sat close to the radio hoping against all hope that the new occupant of State House would be "one of our own." We cheeed wildly when the results came in from Ukambani constituencies where Ngilu had a very strong showing and we naively hoped that the Kikuyu vote would swing her way. Some optimists we were that December.

To cut this long shameful story short, my senses returned to me when I was back in Nairobi as Moi hurriedly organized to be sworn in after receiving about a third of the votes cast while the opposition who received two thirds were the losers because they had not united under one presidential candidate and one party. Everybody was saying how the opposition should have united to oust Moi (I was saying it loudest).

Sadly in many parts of Kenya, a similar scene to this one that I have just described will be replicated on that December day when the nation goes to the polls.

P.S. I am happy to report that I have grown up considerably since 1997 and I will never, ever, ever ever do something so tribal and stupid again.

Did The London Date Rape Happen Or Is It Pure Fabrication?

Today I publish two key emails from the intimate date rape emails (involving Kenya's most famous journalist) now in the public domain. Make up your mind for yourself if they are genuine or not. Or even better head to the blog yourself and read the entire email trail leading to the London rape incident.


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After I told him how I felt, he wrote on February 23:

... if that's how you feel, then all I can say is SORRY from the bottom of my heart and I hope you can find it in your compassionate heart to forgive me and give me ONE more chance to make it up tyo you .........
I at least deserve that ..... one chance ..... if I FUCK -UP, then you can do whatever you want!!!!! "


to which I replied:

" Which chance ? What do you think you can correct ?
Being a lover as you promised to be ? Being a man who cares as you said you are ? Being somebody I could trust completely as you begged me I should ?
Who is the real Jeff Koinange ?
In my memory it is the man who left me there in that room - having seen and realized that I had pain - who left without even washing himself - without looking back and without getting into contact with me afterwards.
Only now - when you fear I could talk - you come out of hiding and beg me to forgive you....."

Tribalism And Joseph Kamotho's Sly, Selfish Move

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Have you ever done this terrible experiment when you were a kid (please don't do it) of putting a bird under water? The bird dies almost instantly, it really has no chance because it was created to fly and so when it is put in the very unfamiliar territory under water, what do you expect?

In a way there is a lesson here about life. To succeed you really must find your territory and your niche. The problem with most of us is that we are birds but we try and convince the world that we can swim. But I digress.

There are those who insist that Joseph Kamotho, the LDP secretary general until his amazing declaration of love for Mwai Kibaki last week, is a fish out of water when it comes to opposition politics. This is a man who is used to playing power games of the kind where one needs to be in government. And although he was on the winning side in 2002 and even had his name on the LDP "cabinet list" that went with the infamous trashed memorandum of understanding that was supposed to guarantee him a seat in Kibaki's cabinet, things did not quite work out that way. And he never came anywhere near Mwai Kibaki's cabinet.

But what did JJ (as his friends call him) expect? Everybody knows that they can't stand each other with the President. What kind of cabinet meetings were they going to have with so much "ice" in the air?

This is the reason why everybody was so shocked when JJ declared his preferred presidential candidate. His Mathioya constituents were naturally delighted.

But why did he do it? As he just being a realist who wants to make it back to parliament or is it true that he was frustrated in ODM? I suspect a little of both. Let us admit that ODM-Kenya is a pretty large party where it is easy to be "drowned" out of being relevant.

But what worries me most are the repercussions of JJ's move last week. I fear that it will awaken the tribal demons that everybody has been so eager to silence. Indeed in the same speech where he declared his support for President Kibaki, Kamotho emphasized that Narc Kenya should be sold aggressively in other parts of the country and that he would love to hear loud support for the party and the President from places like Kisumu, Kakamega and Machakos. These are towns where it is believed that the opposition are pretty strong.

The message is loud and clear and the writing is in the wall. If I may read it for you, it says that in Central province home of the president's tribe, the party to stand with is Narc Kenya and that it is virtually impossible to sell the opposition there. Just like it is virtually impossible to sell Narc Kenya in Luo Nyanza. It is the same message Uhuru Kenyatta supporters are desperately trying to get to him; namely that he should flee Gatundu and stand in Dagoretti constituency in the forthcoming general elections.

That is some pretty bad news for Kenya's budding democracy.

What we are saying is that we needn't bother selling Narc Kenya in certain parts of the country and we also should not waste time trying to sell ODM Kenya in some particular places in the country.

I also believe that it is not a coincidence that JJ has made his move so soon after the Magarini by-elections. Some people read a resounding defeat of ODM in that by-election and an indicator that the party may not be quite popular enough countrywide to carry the day in December. In my opinion, this is not true; politics cannot be analyzed that simply. Then there is the fact that the antics of Magarini cannot be repeated across the country—you just can't print that quantity in title deeds, let alone have enough land to go round in exchange for votes.

Sunday, May 20, 2007

Why Charles Njonjo Is Right About The EAC

The East African Customs Union Is A Pipe Dream And Waste Of Tax Payers Money

Today the Sunday newspapers have basically had former powerful Attorney General, Charles Njonjo for breakfast over his remarks about The East African Federation being a pipe dream. Sadly many of the people commenting on the issue have no idea what they are talking about. At least Mr Njonjo is speaking from first hand experience.
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Also published today;

Is Drogba ashamed of being an African?

Quips of the day;
For Africa to me... is more than a glamorous fact. It is a historical truth. No man can know where he is going unless he knows exactly where he has been and exactly how he arrived at his present place.
Maya Angelou quotes (American Poet, b.1928)

It is important to nurture any new ideas and initiatives which can make a difference for Africa.
Prof Wangari Maathai
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It is nice to sit in Nairobi and theorize over a huge Eas African market of over 100 million persons and just dream of how wonderful it would be. But my view is that time will prove Njonjo correct. For starters nobody has tried to research into the subject of why the East African Community collapsed in the first place in 1977, because rather than the issues being resolved, they still loom larger than ever today.

The issues are actually too many to be covered in a single post, but let me cut to the chase and cover the basics. The first problem is that Tanzanians are terrified of an East African Common market where there is free movement of labour. The reasons are obvious. Tanzanians lack skills and the work ethic that gives Kenyans an edge.

I was talking to a Tanzanian businessman of Greek origin (lots of Greeks settled in Tanzania last century) the other day and he told me that he was handling a construction project in Dar-es-salaam and at first they hired a local Tanzanian construction company. As it turned out the work was moving so slowly that he concluded he would be ruined if he let things continue the way they were. He hurriedly hired a well-known Kenyan construction company instead with Kenyan labour (I have no idea how he managed to pull this one off with the strict labor laws in Tanzania) and his building was completed two months ahead of schedule.

The problem with Tanzania is not just the work ethic. English is a major problem because founding father Mwalimu Julius Nyerere insisted that children learn in Kiswahili until High School. Imagine learning all the subjects in Kiswahili until Form One when you suddenly have to master enough English to continue to the next level. The result is predictable. English is a major problem. I once listened in disbelief as a University professor struggled with his English and succeeded in speaking the kind of English that a Standard three pupil in a typical Nairobi school would be deeply ashamed of.

When you consider the fact that the Tanzanian government has attracted huge foreign investments into the country over the last decade or so and many companies are desperate for good English speaking workers, you can imagine what would happen if Kenyans were to flood the Tanzanian job market. As it is already, Kenyans run the Tanzanian economy, but at least the whooping $1,400 work permit requirement somehow slows down the influx of Kenyan labor into this market.

Now common sense will tell you that a common market cannot really work if there is no common market for labour. The free movement of labour is something that Tanzanians can never accept in the next 100 years or so, so why are we wasting taxpayers money pretending that free movement of labour is on the way?

Tanzania is about 20 years behind Kenya and the people are generally not interested in catching up. So the way forward would be to re-constitute an East African common market that excludes Tanzania and includes the more progressive-minded Rwandans and Ugandans and possibly Burundi.

Then there is the other concern over the fact that Kenya is so far ahead of most of her neighbors that initially we will have to sacrifice our own growth and development to help our neighbors catch up. Not very different from what the former West Germany suffered during the unification with former Communist East Germany shortly after the Berlin wall fell in the 90s. Nothing wrong with this except we need to ask ourselves if the timing is right. According to me it is not. There are a number of things that need to be resolved over the next 10 years or so. Maybe we need to target a common market for the year 2020.

One thing we must find a way of encouraging is the traveling of ordinary Kenyans to other countries in the region because this will make many realize that even with our numerous problems, we are truly fortunate and way ahead in many ways. It is instructive that foreigners from all over Africa are not flooding Dar-es-salaam or Kampala but Nairobi.

Why Does Didier Drogba Karanga His Hair?

I love soccer and I find it difficult not to indulge in a little soccer talk after a comment left by one of our readers here yesterday.

My good friend Phil raised two issues. Firstly he said that Drogba is "technically inferior" as a soccer player when compared to the likes of Roger Milla, JJ Okocha, Nwankwo Kanu etc. Then he wondered about Didier's hairstyle saying that because of it, he is a poor ambassador for African football.

It is interesting because this issue of Drogba being "technically inferior" is the problem with African soccer. Africans have no respect for a soccer player who is not also a ball juggler par excellence. Yet ball juggling does not win games. It is goals. And this is a team sport where more and more the skills of "specialists" rather than all-rounders are in high demand. In my opinion, Drogba will go very far because he seems to be the first African to understand what the job of a striker is. A striker is a finisher. His work is to score goals period. It doesn’t matter whether he taps the ball in awkwardly with his nose, as long as it is a goal, he has done the job. The problem with African strikers (And Brazilian strikers before they started playing in Europe and finally saw the light) is that they would rather score a classic goal than a straight forward boring goal. In other words we have no finishers in Africa. Remember Ghana versus Brazil in the last world cup? The Africans completely outplayed the Samba boys but the moment they got in front of the goal the cameramen (sitting close to the corner flags) started taking cover and the TV cameras high above the goal were steered into safety. I kid you not. The shots were mostly heading in the direction of the floodlights and corner flags rather than anywhere near the Brazilian goal.

Drogba is proving to be one of the deadliest finishers in the game today. He is world class and will be talked about long after people have forgotten about all the ball jugglers Africa keeps on churning out.

If African teams want to win the world cup then we must change our approach. Even the kids in the estate need to change from dribbling practice all the time to plenty of shooting practice. We need to start developing more Drogbas.

On the issue of Drogba’s hair style, I believe Phil has a point. Braids or something African would have worked out better. As it is Didier seems to enjoy throwing his head back so that his hair follows suite, which is very mzungu and it seems that he has been admiring the mzungu doing this for a long time. How sad when chocolate is so beautiful and something to be so very proud of.

P.S. Like Phil I also saw this as a battle between Drogba and Wayne Rooney(aka Roooonaldo as the Man U fans lovingly call him). Folks, Drogba won, Africa won!

Saturday, May 19, 2007

Disturbing Issues Emerging From Secret Emails

There are some very disturbing things that I am reading at a blog written by a woman who was a date rape victim to a famous Kenyan.

The contents of this blog have left me with many disturbing questions about a Kenyan man we have all been proud of for a long time.

I am a student of life and I have always though that date rape is preferable to rape by a total stranger. How could I have known terrible truth, being a man? A reader who took the time to pour out her heart here has corrected me in this misconception. I feel that her comment is so important that I need to repeat it here in this main post for the benefit of those who may have missed it. Although I disagree with the first para;


Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "Have You Ever Been Raped?":

It might come as a surprise to many, but there are some women who maintain a humongous urge to be raped. Some veil this deviant behavior by espousing sexual bondage and what you may call rough sex with multiple partners. If in the US, listen to Howard Stern once in a while. Some have even gone as far as making cult movies.

That being said, what JK did is despicable. Chris, please do not equate Date Rape with the common violent carjack rape ordeal in Githurai or Dandora. Date Rape is in fact more brutal and more prone to destabilizing a victim's brain and thoughts in far more devastating ways. It's one thing to be violated by a stranger's another to be violated by "a best friend" or the chap at the pub. Whereas the "mungiki type" rape will leave a woman (or man) scared, feeling unsafe, unclean, violated and totally worthless, Date rape worsens the complex by adding profound feelings of self-blame, naivety, mistrust and extremely poor judgment. Any woman raped by a father, uncle, brother or someone previously trusted will attest to the fact that it is possibly the most painful event one can be expected to overcome.

Let no one belittle Jeff Koinange's crime. The man should be in jail. Chastising Marriane Brinner for being raped is almost the same as saying she deserved it or that she led on Jeff to the act. It's the same mungiki mentality that leads those jackasses into raping women wearing pants, mini skirts or those that are uncircumcised.

If Jeff is innocent, then Marriane should be burnt at the stake, however, based on the information at hand, we cannot imagine that this old woman would invite the stigma of raped upon herself. She has no reason to make this up, further Jeff does not make enough money to attract extortionist.

Now, if Chris/Kumekucha is just settling a score, then he should be frog matched to the abyss of hell.

And to all men, whom we've been informed have a salient appetite for rape, pray for cancer to that part of your brain.


Just to clear the air, I have no score to settle with Jeff or anybody. I just report the truth.

By the way for those readers who say that they desire to hear Jeff's side of the story, one way of doing this is by reading though the blog. Email messages written by Jeff are included as well as the replies by his date rape victim. So you get to see how things develop on both sides. Let me warn you thopugh, it is rather explicit.

Find the link to the Jeff Koinange emails HERE

Little known secrets about the Safaricom cash machine


Wife cuts off husband's penis flashes it down the toilet.

The surprising real reason why more and more Kenyans are having steamy extra-marital affairs

Woman Murders Her Best Friend To Steal Her Husband As Science Proves That It Is Deadly For Women To Have Casual Sex

How Kenyans can now easily start a lucrative Internet business from any remote part of Kenya for only Kshs 100/-

Link To Jeff Koinange's Intimate Emails

archive

I would like to make it clear to readers that the blog containing the emails has NOT been published by Kumekucha. What we have done here is simply provide a link for readers to get to the blog and read for themselves the contents. My advice is that you do not come to any hurried conclusions. Just read all the email messages (the date rape victim has not censored or left out anything) and then decide for your self.

You will find the blog HERE

Little known secrets about the Safaricom cash machine


Wife cuts off husband's penis flashes it down the toilet.

The surprising real reason why more and more Kenyans are having steamy extra-marital affairs

Woman Murders Her Best Friend To Steal Her Husband As Science Proves That It Is Deadly For Women To Have Casual Sex

How Kenyans can now easily start a lucrative Internet business from any remote part of Kenya for only Kshs 100/-

Didier Drogba’s Late Goal Sinks Man United

I have never watched such a boring first half of an FA Cup final. Believe you me, I fell asleep in front of the TV. I regretted delaying my daily Kumekucha posts to watch such a boring technical game of soccer (that’s Mourinho’s style).

But mercifully things livened up in the second half and Jose Mourinho’s boys finally won the day in extra time with a Didier Drogba sizzler of a goal. I’m just delighted that an African decided the fate of the FA cup. Our time has come folks. All these are clear signs that this is the time for Africa.

Little known secrets about the Safaricom cash machine


Wife cuts off husband's penis flashes it down the toilet.

The surprising real reason why more and more Kenyans are having steamy extra-marital affairs

Woman Murders Her Best Friend To Steal Her Husband As Science Proves That It Is Deadly For Women To Have Casual Sex

How Kenyans can now easily start a lucrative Internet business from any remote part of Kenya for only Kshs 100/-

Friday, May 18, 2007

Have You Ever Been Raped?

archive

Most men and even some women visiting this site are making some extremely insensitive remarks about the Jeff Koinange date-rape saga. The comments are insensitive to women and these days even to men because men do get raped, even in Kenya.

Sometimes last year a man his wife and their young children were carjacked somewhere in Nairobi. In the horrifying encounter the thugs raped the man’s wife and then the man too in the presence of the children. Not in New York, folks. In Nairobi, Kenya.

So some of you may be making your comments a little prematurely and assuming that you are very safe. In fact if truth be told (because Kumekucha is not scared to discuss anything) most men have a rapist’s mentality. Just ask wives out there what happens when they are tired and not in the mood?

Rape is the worst possible crime that can be committed against anybody. Many communities prefer death and there are those who commit suicide after rape. In the case of the Jeff Koinange saga, it was date rape, but this is still rape. Having sex with a woman against her will and without her consent.
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If you've not read the explosive and explicit new blog that details a bizarre exchange of email between Jeff Koinage and the woman who ended up being his date rape victim, you can see it for yourself NOW, HERE NB: Scroll down and start reading from the bottom coming up.
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Interestingly some readers have even managed to somehow how bring in Raila Odinga’s name. I don’t understand what it has to do with this date rape saga. It seems like very soon Kenya will be burning down and instead of people getting pails of water to put off the flames, they will still be talking about Raila Odinga. Talk of Kenyans who are obsessed.

I find it fascinating that in the same way some of our Kenyan brothers are defending thieves of public funds and even known murders as the best candidates for the presidency, there are those who are blindly defending Jeff Koinange without knowing what they are doing or what exactly happened.

There are even those who still believe that Kumekucha or Mariane Brinner sat down and dreamt up this story to mess up Jeff Koinange’s reputation. Even when all the signs are there that something is definitely wrong (Jeff has not been on CNN for sometime now. Although he has just gotten back to Johannesburg and could go back on air any time soon).

What would you do if you found out that your friend is a carjacker? Would you shut up and look the other way? Or do you have a conscience that would somehow force you to do the right thing. I have said here before that Jeff is my friend and he knows my identity even as I publish this. But what he did in London was wrong. I sincerely believe that the man needs proessional help and I believe that by referring readers here to the rather explicit blog that has been published of his relationship with an older woman that led to rape, I am helping him by giving him a wake up call so that he seeks help before it is too late.

Little known secrets about the Safaricom cash machine


Wife cuts off husband's penis flashes it down the toilet.

The surprising real reason why more and more Kenyans are having steamy extra-marital affairs

Woman Murders Her Best Friend To Steal Her Husband As Science Proves That It Is Deadly For Women To Have Casual Sex

How Kenyans can now easily start a lucrative Internet business from any remote part of Kenya for only Kshs 100/-