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Wednesday, October 31, 2007

JUST FOR LAUGHS

ODM STATEMENT ON STANCHART MARATHON

POROJO MINGI

ODM regrets to see that tribalism and rigging has found its way into sports The just concluded Stanchart Marathon is a case in point.
Kenyans want to know since when Njoroge's of this world could win such races.
Steadman polls conducted exhaustively before the race showed that the favourite was Kip (Keino,Koech,Ruto,Choge,Tanui etc) ODM'S pentagon has reliably established that the winner Mr. Njoroge is actually a registered voter in starehe constituency and has been spotted in various PNU rallies.
The connection between the winner and the Sports Minister Hon. Kamanda is clear for all to see. This amounts to voter bribery, race rigging and blatant tribalism.

ODM will not condone such. We will match to Kasarani today in protest.
In the meantime, we have dispatched HON Ochilo Ayako to present our grievances to IAAF.
We would like this organisation to take stern action against the Njoroge's of this world and slap a five year ban on them.
We also wish to have all gold medals won by Douglas Wakihuri, Catherine Ndereba, John Ngugi, etc withdrawn because their selection and inclusion into the Kenyan team since 1985 ( 3 years after the coup detat ) had been done without consulting the current members of Pentagon.
Until this issue is resolved by the international athletics community and all our demands met, an ODM government will ban all international athletics engagement by Kenya in the next five years.
We also appeal to the Standard Chartered bank not to honour the 1.5 million cheque issued to Mr. Njoroge.
Failure to do this will result in future stern action ( beginning 2008) in which the bank will join Equity bank in having all its operations limited to only within 10 km radius of Othaya town.

Professor Anyang Nyongo Secretary General ODM Maisha Bora

6 comments:

kalamari said...

Sayra, No matter what anybody says (esp. Kibaki), it is a known fact that Njoroge was about 21.56721 feet ahead of everybody else……. before the start of the race. You see, Njoro, as we call him, was also seen consuming biblical amounts of some suspected powerful steroids (the type that can only be found from weeds in the deepest parts of Karura forest). We have also heard that there was a car with GK number plates waiting for him around the corner and that he actually got a lift up to a few meters to the finish line. I see that you are behind news my sister. You see the 1.5 million check issued by StanChart was cashed at Equity Bank for 15 million. How's that for PNU math? It is for these very important reasons that we have lost faith in IAAF (Inter-central Anti Agwambo Forces). The way I see it, only a referendum will decide whether Njoro alone should be put in jail for eternity or whether his entire clan should join him there.

I say, Njoroge rigged the race. We cannot accept.

Anonymous said...

Hahaha!
I've seen a similar email joke doing the rounds on the appointment of Cardinal John Njue. As much as I realise that this piece is a satire on our body politic, we need to be very cautious with this kikuyu bashing jokes. These are the sort of sentiments that entrench a sick mentality that all Kikuyus are somehow beneficiaries of the Kibaki regime. Nothing would be further from the truth.

Unfortunately, this mentality has been sold to the masses. For example, in cosmoplitan areas such as Nairobi, I've heard some voters saying that they'll not elect a kikuyu aspirant at any level even if he or she has a serious development record in the community and is the most focused. One guy put it quite clearly for me,

"This time, hatutaki wakikuyu wawe viongozi pahali popote inje ya central province."

So Chris, think twice before posting this jokes that deepen the kikuyu bashing going on all over the place.

chris said...

I stand to be corrected but are these Kikuyu-bashing jokes or jokes bashing those with Kikuyu-phobia?

-Kumekucha-

Taabu said...

Hey guys jokes are just that JOKES. For the records a joke explained becomes STALE.

njoro- mzee wa kijiji said...

Its hilarious, and well thought out. It makes a good reading. But on a second thought, it denotes kikuyus do not need to work hard and sweat it out with the rest - they rig their way to success. There must be an external hand or dirty trick for them to succeed. All what i know where there is money these guys will work their way(through sweat) to get it no matter the circumstances. You should have congratulated the man for winning the same. Chris - winning a marathon or a road race is not a one day affair. Its a process not an event. This man must have have worked hard for several years to get there. I hope this is not a kikuyu bashing joke, i fear it is.

sayra said...

Its a joke guys, and pliz let us leave it at that. It kinda explains you the kind of thinking many people have ... just accusing with no particular facts or reasons.

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