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Thursday, August 09, 2007

Sexual Harassment Is A Criminal Offence And Why Porn Poster Needs Professional Help


The net can be a dangerous place. It is fairly easy for anybody to fall into the trap of porn addiction and by extension sex addiction.

A professional has presented me with a fascinating profile of the porn poster who has been at work in this blog. I must admit that at first I assumed that he was a serious agent of certain interests out to ruin this blog and everything that we have built here. However it is rapidly emerging that it is somebody who badly needs professional help.

Sex and porn addiction, I was shocked to discover, many times affects people who have serious sexual deficiencies so that they quickly reach a point where they are not able to have normal sex without the help of hard drugs or certain sexual enhancing and libido boosting aids.

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Taabu said...

Did you say without implying anything and accusing anyody? Then that was self-induced infedility to your own vows. Kalamari ajitetee.

kala "Porn Poster" mari said...

I revert to my usual name tomorrow. Today, I bask in the sun.

Christopher, for calling me out in such a cruel and unusual manner, I henceforth support the media bill (ha! ha!). May the almighty Kibaki sign it in capital bold letters. Like Martha ‘doing what in the trunk’ Karua and the ‘caught on camera K-street MPs’, I feel my character has been defamed and tarnished in a most irrevocable way. In fact I’m considering changing my tag to hide my identity. I should probably also dump my laptop for another with a different IP address. How about I change my writing style? Maybe I should repent my sinful ways and look for love elsewhere? The questions is; what to do with all these questions? I’m actually in tears. I’m confused and bewildered Oh! Oh! Kumekucha, why hast thou forsaken me??!!!

Guys (and dolls), this is an opportunity for a case study on the pros and cons of the media bill. Seriously, this is not laughable. I think the media bill, in my dilapidating sex addict disease case, would assist me in prodding Chris to release his sources. Maybe a transcript of the emails in your complaints inbox. Though names were not mentioned (in the first few paragraphs), is it possible that Chris has led you to believe that my internet favorite list is packed with the who’s who in porn circles? Is it possible that my sexual prowess has been called into question? Are some of you thinking that I’m a serious drug user with affinity to viagra? And what exactly is abnormal sex? All this slander based on some nonexistent pseudo professional is simply hilarious. See Chris, the media bill will make you produce that “professional” in court…. Sue in toe. It is this type of mischievous reporting that possibly land chaps in jail…well, at least until the bill is signed.
That said, humor is funny until it bruises feelings. If you’ve read above and are not rolling on the floor in laughter, it just means that you are a tough nut to crack. By nut, I really and truly mean nuts… in groundnuts, macadamia nuts etc. Not to be mistaken for ballz. Enough of that funny stuff.

Chris, the one thing you consistently fail to address and therefore must address in a rather quick fashion is your case of acute paranoia. I take exception to the following –your very own words: “ ….I must admit that at first I assumed that he was a serious agent of certain interests out to ruin this blog and everything that we have built here”. What on God’s blue earth are you drinking!!!? Look, I understand that this your blog can at times excite the men at NSIS or raise temperatures at state house but you seriously must come down to earth. Not everybody is trying to get you. Did my references to “the men with a message” and my subtle attempts to have you disclose your obscure location get you thinking that I’m your trail? If you sincerely felt terrified, then you, like you know who must invest in funny bones.

By the way the words “men with a message” is from an old 1960s movie (cant think of the name right now). It’s a hilarious must watch.

kala "Porn Poster" mari said...

Looking at the media bill again, I think I too would go to jail if I cannot prove that the pseudo professional is nonexistant.

Anonymous said...

Porn pushers are the early adopters of technology. Especially the internet.

They spent big time to push for freedom of lifestyle and even more to develop ways for people to pay for "services" online.

You should salute everytime you see a porn peddler.

vikii said...

Could the movie be "12 Angry Men"? I dont consider this article my type and so other than that question, endeleeni na your small little antics.

luke said...

Ati Kalamari is the porn poster? ha ha didn't see that one coming

kala "Porn Poster" mari said...

vikii, the movie is the "The Fox"....about a gold heist. This is where "Oceans Eleven" was derived from. It's actually black and white from the 1954. Word of caution, you could laugh your lungs out watching this movie.

derek said...

Kalamari,are you a 'Porn Poster' or PORNSTAR? These are two words that may be closely linked. Then, you are having a laugh!

To me, a man or woman visiting a porn site needs more that prayers, redemption and counselling. I abhor it.

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