Kenya has been running without a substantive minister for Finance for close to half a year. And why the hurry if the right DNA is in short supply among the present lot of parliamentarians. Amos Kimunya must be rubbing his hands in glee after refusing to die rather than resign.
There are government ministries and then there are REAL MINISTRIES. Finance ministry is the nerve centre of all transactions, legal and otherwise. Only a naive president would entrust such an important office to a holder with the wrong genes in his veins. Gate keepers of Kenyan Limited must be INDUSTRIOUS Kenyans capable of transacting REAL BUSINESS in first language.
Forget all the facade of trying to legislate against tribalism and cronyism. Only in Kenya are laws made exclusively to message egos with the principal intention to break them with all attendant impunity. We do not have our national butt kissing the bottom of the pit because of lack of good ideas and laws.
Transactions at the finance ministry were at the heart of last year’s election fraud. Some of the most lucrative businesses it handled during the 9th parliamentary session could not be forfeited on the strength of mere ballot papers. You don’t risk the wrath of the international community by acting as an arms conduit for Southern Sudan only to surrender the proceeds to less enterprising Kenyans armed with ballot mandate.
Realistic Kenyans better learn to live with the painful fact that the Finance ministry will remain vacant till Kenyans until we become immune to reigning impunity and accept the truth that the country has its owners. The passengers aboard the geographical entity called Kenya must are better advised to remain loyal to the principal shareholders. And lest you forget no life is sacred in this industrious pursuit of wealth.
Right DNA
If you doubt the temerity of these owners to auction Kenya, then just ask one Hyslop Ipu. The poor guy has corrupted DNA and consequently no clout neither does he belong. He provided the razor that shaved his predecessor oblivious of the fact that his own schedule with the TRIBAL barbers was booked long time ago.
Kenya is not an evil political society for lack of scheming tribal clerics. Instead the entrepreneuring men and women of the cloth populate every sector of our national fabric so much so that they suffocate us with cheap sectarian evangelism.
So here we go folks. Take an honet self-assessment, APPROPRIATELY translate your CV if you belong with the right DNA and RIGHTLY submit your application for any of the two positions above. My lady luck smile to the lucky applicants.
Thursday, January 08, 2009
Eldoret Dead Bodies Drama: Hilarious But Not Funny
I have been talking about our blundering government a lot in recent times (need I remind you that it is led by our dear beloved blunderer in chief who is commander in chief of all the blunderers and blunders).
If ink was something we used to make posts online, then I would have said the ink had not yet dried on my post when the President made an about turn on the Kenya communications bill he signed only last Friday and ordered the contentious parts to be looked into. managers please help us here with the following question. How much does it cost to make a decision and then make an about turn only a few days later? How much is this little circus costing us as a country?
Anyway the main aim of this post was to attract your attention to another government blunder in Eldoret where the government was caught red-handed trying to secretly bury dead bodies of the post election violence. What is hilarious was the excuse the government pathologist gave to grief-stricken relatives of the dead for his actions. My ribs are still aching in pain since I read this a few hours ago;
But Dr Njue said the measure was temporary, as the bodies would be exhumed once they had been identified and given to their families.
“This is actually not a burial ceremony, but a temporary resting place. The way we are doing it is not like a normal burial ceremony. Even the UN recognizes this as a legitimate way of holding bodies,” he said. Read the full story.
I have said time and again that this government has perfected the art of burying evidence especially in the form of bullet-ridden dead bodies and dead bodies in general. I stand by my figure for the total death toll of the post election troubles (well over 5,000 souls). While agreeing that it is not easy to dispose of thousands of bodies without trace, just remember that we are dealing with experts here and some of the tactics that have been devised include the following;
- Throwing bodies in the vast Nairobi National Park during a drought
- Taking bodies of Mombasa Victims to the Nairobi morgues and Nairobi victims victims to Kisumu.
- Digging mass graves like the one in Eldoret and burying dozens of bodies at a time.
- Other ingenious methods that we will discover with time.
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If ink was something we used to make posts online, then I would have said the ink had not yet dried on my post when the President made an about turn on the Kenya communications bill he signed only last Friday and ordered the contentious parts to be looked into. managers please help us here with the following question. How much does it cost to make a decision and then make an about turn only a few days later? How much is this little circus costing us as a country?
Anyway the main aim of this post was to attract your attention to another government blunder in Eldoret where the government was caught red-handed trying to secretly bury dead bodies of the post election violence. What is hilarious was the excuse the government pathologist gave to grief-stricken relatives of the dead for his actions. My ribs are still aching in pain since I read this a few hours ago;
But Dr Njue said the measure was temporary, as the bodies would be exhumed once they had been identified and given to their families.
“This is actually not a burial ceremony, but a temporary resting place. The way we are doing it is not like a normal burial ceremony. Even the UN recognizes this as a legitimate way of holding bodies,” he said. Read the full story.
I have said time and again that this government has perfected the art of burying evidence especially in the form of bullet-ridden dead bodies and dead bodies in general. I stand by my figure for the total death toll of the post election troubles (well over 5,000 souls). While agreeing that it is not easy to dispose of thousands of bodies without trace, just remember that we are dealing with experts here and some of the tactics that have been devised include the following;
- Throwing bodies in the vast Nairobi National Park during a drought
- Taking bodies of Mombasa Victims to the Nairobi morgues and Nairobi victims victims to Kisumu.
- Digging mass graves like the one in Eldoret and burying dozens of bodies at a time.
- Other ingenious methods that we will discover with time.
Hot product tips from Kumekucha: Have you seen the latest brand new Nairobi Wi Fi Hotel?
Hot product tips from Kumekucha: Have you had lunch at this unique Nairobi upmarket African dishes restaurant yet?
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Wednesday, January 07, 2009
Medieval Politics: Leaflets and Rent-a-Mouth
That the more things change the more they remain the same wouldn’t have been more apt adage in describing the Government’s desperate move to lift itself out of the deep hole it plunged into. Alfred Mutua has re-invented his Turbo-charged mouth in creative leaflets authored to EDUCATE Kenyans on the merits of media censorship.
True, desperate moments calls for desperate measures. But Mutua and his masters must have been blinded by their cheap optimism that Kenyans will buy their gimmick. Granted, the media is not without blemish but no leader ever successfully fought the fourth estate. Only in Kenya can politicians shamelessly re-invent the non-circular wheel and ride on the falsehood. If anything, the global time–tested and tried practice of media self-regulation militates against speedy economic returns.
We are back to political medieval times. What with rent a mouth youths on the ready to congratulate the king on how immaculately he is dressed in his birthday suit. Now we understand that not only here at Kumekucha do we have easily excitable Kenyans. They are in good company ready with oiled lips and joints to dance themselves lame to old lyrics from a broken record.
There are leaders and spineless politicians. Forget the hollow defence from Kibaki’s apologists that he did what he had to do after the MPs handed him the bill. There is leadership and responsibility and above all else having the hindsight to act in tandem with national mood. A responsible parent will not serve a hungry kid poison to calm him down.
Impunity patented
One Lucy must be still be enjoying her sleep after receiving the sweetest and most priceless New Year present from her sweetheart. Her nocturnal escapade at the newsroom has been taken a notch higher and what is more, it is LEGAL. That is a personal war won at the altar of royal expediency. The media must be ruing their antics to paint ogres in all the rainbow colours.
Signing the Communication Bill amounts to institutionalizing our pricey national vice of IMPUNITY. Kenya has her gate keepers and damn the IDP families who are spoiling the party in demanding decent burial to their loved ones. True entrepreneurship includes doing commerce with corpses. And why not expand the virtue if carpenters can do it honestly at the lower end?
But Kenyans must remain realistic and alive to the truism that no progress can come out a leadership singularly defined by deception. Fraud begets only more fraud and its derivatives. We are back to the starting point and the torturous circular journey continues. We better sample the Arabic wisdom in having smart mouths that never invite stinking flies by knowing when to shut up.
Hot product tips from Kumekucha: Have you seen the latest brand new Nairobi Wi Fi Hotel?
Hot product tips from Kumekucha: Have you had lunch at this unique Nairobi upmarket African dishes restaurant yet?
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True, desperate moments calls for desperate measures. But Mutua and his masters must have been blinded by their cheap optimism that Kenyans will buy their gimmick. Granted, the media is not without blemish but no leader ever successfully fought the fourth estate. Only in Kenya can politicians shamelessly re-invent the non-circular wheel and ride on the falsehood. If anything, the global time–tested and tried practice of media self-regulation militates against speedy economic returns.
We are back to political medieval times. What with rent a mouth youths on the ready to congratulate the king on how immaculately he is dressed in his birthday suit. Now we understand that not only here at Kumekucha do we have easily excitable Kenyans. They are in good company ready with oiled lips and joints to dance themselves lame to old lyrics from a broken record.
There are leaders and spineless politicians. Forget the hollow defence from Kibaki’s apologists that he did what he had to do after the MPs handed him the bill. There is leadership and responsibility and above all else having the hindsight to act in tandem with national mood. A responsible parent will not serve a hungry kid poison to calm him down.
Impunity patented
One Lucy must be still be enjoying her sleep after receiving the sweetest and most priceless New Year present from her sweetheart. Her nocturnal escapade at the newsroom has been taken a notch higher and what is more, it is LEGAL. That is a personal war won at the altar of royal expediency. The media must be ruing their antics to paint ogres in all the rainbow colours.
Signing the Communication Bill amounts to institutionalizing our pricey national vice of IMPUNITY. Kenya has her gate keepers and damn the IDP families who are spoiling the party in demanding decent burial to their loved ones. True entrepreneurship includes doing commerce with corpses. And why not expand the virtue if carpenters can do it honestly at the lower end?
But Kenyans must remain realistic and alive to the truism that no progress can come out a leadership singularly defined by deception. Fraud begets only more fraud and its derivatives. We are back to the starting point and the torturous circular journey continues. We better sample the Arabic wisdom in having smart mouths that never invite stinking flies by knowing when to shut up.
Hot product tips from Kumekucha: Have you seen the latest brand new Nairobi Wi Fi Hotel?
Hot product tips from Kumekucha: Have you had lunch at this unique Nairobi upmarket African dishes restaurant yet?
Basic SEO training tips made simple
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