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Thursday, January 08, 2009

Situations Vacant: State House Controller, Finance Minister

Kenya has been running without a substantive minister for Finance for close to half a year. And why the hurry if the right DNA is in short supply among the present lot of parliamentarians. Amos Kimunya must be rubbing his hands in glee after refusing to die rather than resign.

There are government ministries and then there are REAL MINISTRIES. Finance ministry is the nerve centre of all transactions, legal and otherwise. Only a naive president would entrust such an important office to a holder with the wrong genes in his veins. Gate keepers of Kenyan Limited must be INDUSTRIOUS Kenyans capable of transacting REAL BUSINESS in first language.

Forget all the facade of trying to legislate against tribalism and cronyism. Only in Kenya are laws made exclusively to message egos with the principal intention to break them with all attendant impunity. We do not have our national butt kissing the bottom of the pit because of lack of good ideas and laws.

Transactions at the finance ministry were at the heart of last year’s election fraud. Some of the most lucrative businesses it handled during the 9th parliamentary session could not be forfeited on the strength of mere ballot papers. You don’t risk the wrath of the international community by acting as an arms conduit for Southern Sudan only to surrender the proceeds to less enterprising Kenyans armed with ballot mandate.

Realistic Kenyans better learn to live with the painful fact that the Finance ministry will remain vacant till Kenyans until we become immune to reigning impunity and accept the truth that the country has its owners. The passengers aboard the geographical entity called Kenya must are better advised to remain loyal to the principal shareholders. And lest you forget no life is sacred in this industrious pursuit of wealth.

Right DNA
If you doubt the temerity of these owners to auction Kenya, then just ask one Hyslop Ipu. The poor guy has corrupted DNA and consequently no clout neither does he belong. He provided the razor that shaved his predecessor oblivious of the fact that his own schedule with the TRIBAL barbers was booked long time ago.

Kenya is not an evil political society for lack of scheming tribal clerics. Instead the entrepreneuring men and women of the cloth populate every sector of our national fabric so much so that they suffocate us with cheap sectarian evangelism.

So here we go folks. Take an honet self-assessment, APPROPRIATELY translate your CV if you belong with the right DNA and RIGHTLY submit your application for any of the two positions above. My lady luck smile to the lucky applicants.

21 comments:

KenyaLuv said...

Kenyans always whining about something or the other. Has this blog ever thought of becoming a place where us young Kenyans could come up with solutions,unity and new ideas instead of whining ourselves hoarse? With blogs like Kumekucha its apparent that a change of generations WILL NOT change ANYTHING in Kenya. Same old tribal arguments and nonsense. Kumekucha needs reforms, me and other Kenyans are tired of you people using these blogs to please these old political masters of yours who dont care about you. Wake Up.

Anonymous said...

KennyaLUV
Why dont you start your blog , kumekucha is just a mirror image of the society we live in.

Anonymous said...

Mr Misery can you go back whence you came from.You are still stuck in a time warp!

UrXlnc said...

hehehe jamaa thats funny

==
He provided the razor that shaved his predecessor oblivious of the fact that his own schedule with the TRIBAL barbers was booked long time ago
==

Anonymous said...

you mean State House Comptroller, ignoramus.

Anonymous said...

What further proof do we need that 'INDUSTRIOUSNESS' is at last transcending 'TRIBAL BARRIERS' with the unfolding corruption saga of Dr. Ong'ong'a at the Kenya Tourism Board.As usual ODM apologists will find a way with their twisted logic to somehow put it squarely on PNU.

Anonymous said...

Ogonga is an embarassment to thieves , he should have at least ensured that the contractors did a shoddy job , hasnt he never heard of auditors.Yaani this guy is not a true kenyan, hao cousins wake wange tengeza hata kama ni bill board kwa karatasi halafu auditor waki uliza wana sema "ndio hizo kwani hamuna macho?".

Anonymous said...

Ong'ong'a is molasses cousin thats why ODM has given the issue a wide berth. hata Kumekucha dogs that barks at every mention of corruption somehow ignores this one since no Mt. Kenya fellow is involved. isn't amusing how standard tried to squeeze a name in their last paragraph of u guessed it right...mt. kenya fellow???

while Taabu here is belching from a mild case of hunger pangs, his MASTER of DECEPTION continues to shield his tribesmen as they SELL kenya off piece by piece.

talking about DNA, is it true that you are not the real father of your favourite kid bwana TAABU.
Seems your bitch DEFRAUDED your brat your whinning DNA...

te he he he he heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

eddlove said...

By the way this post holds some truth. In truth no leader in the world would give such crucial positions to people whom dont speak the same tribe or if tribe is not an issue someone who went to skool or are closest of friends. Even RAO cant trust his security on another tribe even his ministry. So just leave with it and accept its a way of the world. Even Bush alirudisha cabinet ya Baba yake and Barrack is appointing his close people in the campaigns to his cabinet.

Anonymous said...

If whining was a rope TAABU would have hanged himself a million times. He is a frustrated disturbed soul. This fellow trully needs mental circumcision.

Phil said...

Taabu,

Call a spade a space not A BIG SPOON.

Replace the word the DNA with its real and practical meaning. While you are at it; please ask yourself why we have IDPs in this country including those who existed before the PEV? Ask yourself why majority of our people (yours truly included) live below the poverty line. Ask yourself why we have the largest squatter population in Sub Sahara Africa? Ask yourself why some openly criminal and devilish Kenyan names appear to be above the law? Ask yourself why clean water is a luxury for nearly 70% of our population and why in Kenya unborn children are condemned to die poor, if they are lucky to live beyond 5 years? Perhaps if we could have remained a colony of the British, our people would now be living in relatively better circumstances!

Answer = DNA

Anonymous said...

KUMEKUCHA YOUR TYPE OF THINKING IS CORRUPT WITH HATE, ENVY AND JELOUSY. I MEAN WHAT ABOUT THE ROADS MINISTRY IS IT NOT BEING RESEARVED FOR SOMEONE OF A PARTICULAR DNA... ASSISTANT HOME AFFAIRS RESEARVED FOR SOMEONE WITH A DISTINCT DNA... BUT YOU KUMEKUCHA YOU CHOOSE TO IGNORE THAT OR IN YOUR EYES THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT... YOU THE SEE PHSYCHOLOGY BEHIND SUCSESS IS TO LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKES AND THOSE OF YOU ENEMY TOO.. THE DEFENITION OF MADDNESS IS TO REPEAT THE SAME MISTAKE HOPEING FOR A DIFFERENT OUTCOME... SO KUMEKUCHA I CAN ASSURE YOU THIS NEVER AGAIN WILL KENYA BE THE SAME NOR WILL THE MT KENYA PEOPLE BE IN THE OPPOSITION..

Anonymous said...

Phil, because black race is cursed!

joe the choma man said...

Mwalimu Taabu,
what is in DNA(name)??I thought the right DNA was Kenyan?no wonder some then have sold off their citizenship by birthright for a passport to the sun even in places where it doesn't shine and they're worse off than IDPs-(both post and pre PEV)

the only reason we should ever scrape the bottom of the barrel is so that we can position ourselves better to aim for the stars-i wonder what would happen as a nation if we actually aimed for the stars?

our numerous good ideas and laws seem like they're from mars-they never achieve largscale results and benefits don't trickle down to "spread the wealth" and we keep excusing our national failure to with one development plan after another development plan-what good is enterprenuership and industrious pursuit of wealth if you are a big fish in a small pond?

Anonymous said...

KennyaLuv @ 5:19 PM,

Start your blog (and when you do you might find that it annoys you much more than kumekucha... you'll, in frustration, close it and come running back to Kumekucha). Kumekucha is just a mirror image of the society we live in.

There is something terribly wrong in our country. This is just an example: If you live in a country which went to the general elections, voted peacefully, waited for the results to come out and right there before your very eyes see the election being STOLEN and then the LOSER (Kibaki) being declared the winner while the real WINNER is declared the looser, surely there is something terribly amiss in this our country - You even hear supposedly intelligent and well educated people claiming without batting an eyelid that Kibaki won fair and square when the reverse is actually the case.

That one single act of STEALING THE ELECTION has a trickle down effect in so many areas of life in Kenya, for one, especially to THAT COMMUNITY THAT LIKES STEALING, it somehow "inspires," "encourages" and proves to them that STEALING PAYS AND IS OK. After all if a 76 year old married fellow with 2 wives, a masters degree in economics from the London school of economics can do it (STEAL) and get away with it, why not "me....."

True to this, it is not strange these days to find shops right in the Nairobi central business district being robbed in broad daylight at noon and public transport vehicles being car jacked and passengers robbed and in some cases the females raped - all this happening in broad daylight. To these robbers at the back of their minds they think: Kibaki did it in broad daylight, SO CAN WE!

Watch this clip from you tube:

http://www.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3DmEdBZcJgKkQ

Taabu said...

Chomaman,
DNA=Do Not Allow, ama?

Anonymous said...

Taabu @5:50 AM, I concur

DNA = Do Not Allow anyone outside the Nyuba ya Mumbi to be the occupant of State House. Do whatever you have to do - even STEAL the election - Do Not Allow anyone outside the house of mumbi to become president.

Anonymous said...

Taabu and the rest of the crew, sorry, Anyang Nyongo is not gonna be the Minister for Finance.
Yes, it depends on the DNA. Any president in their right mind will never give finance ministry to Kajwang, Kiunjuri, Mungatana, Kalembe Ndile Ababu Namwamba et al.

Taabu, you keep on flogging a dead horse. If Kibaki wanted to re-appoint Kimunya what do you think would stop him. Isn't he the King of impunity as you baptise him?

Yes, it is DNA and this time Kibaki will even appoint his nephew Ndiritu Muriithi, MP Laikipia West as the finance minister. And you will all shout it is nepotism but what is Raila's brother doing at the finance Ministry? There isnt issue of DNA there? Wake up and smell the kitunguu. Wembe ni ule ule, doesnt matter who is on the seat, they will appoint people they trust. And FYI Ndiritu Mureithi is superbly qualified to be the finance minister.
Obama did with Rahm Emmanuel, David his campaign manager and host of others he worked with in Illnois

Talk of DNA. Inanuka tu kama ni ya Kikuyu lakini when the shoe is on the foot, we intellectualise nepotism.

marisela said...

Phil You said:

Perhaps if we could have remained a colony of the British, our people would now be living in relatively better circumstances!

My Comment:
You dont know what you are saying. And May God have mercy on your soul. I live in the UK and I would never want these people to stay longer than they did. In fact the mess we always find ourselves in can be attributed partially to the British Ujuaji.
Probably your dad was busy cooking for Mzungu or doing other ass kissing things for colonials but my old man was in the forest doing what men did those days - fighting. Perhaps you should read this weeks East African to understand the genesis of some of the issues that brought PEV.
Having said that, I pose a question to you. The colonials stayed longer in Zimbambwe, Namimbia and Angola, are they better than us?

Anonymous said...

Give a luo ministry of finance doc and see Kenya will be milked dry with every luo getting a second and third wife.

Anonymous said...

Marisela,
phil is a luo aand Lous are well known mzungu asslicker. For him to say that he proves he has never been to a mzungu country because thats an insult to black race all over the world.

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