Kumekucha Weekend Features
For centuries a very important do-or-die part of a wedding was where the man would get a moment in private with his bride and penetrate her for the very first time. This would be done under supervision by elders and close to white sheets which would naturally be bloodied and then brought out and displayed before all the distinguished guests. Only then would the Champagne be brought out so to speak. No bloody sheets no wedding, it was as simple as that.
Indeed this is still being practiced in many cultures the world over. But still, today most of the world has changed and virgins are an extremely endangered species, some would say they are almost extinct. Or so you may have thought.
And you would be wrong in this assumption because the truth is that the number of virgins are currently growing at break neck speed courtesy of a simple surgical procedure that completely restores a woman’s virginity and thus destroys any evidence that any man has ever been there before. What is left of the hymen is stitched together and reconstructed in a simple procedure called hymenorraphy. In cases where the hymen is not enough, additional tissue from the vaginal wall is used to make a complete hymen and restore precious virginity to any lass who wants it back.
Done properly, even another doctor examining the woman will be fooled and certify her a virgin medically.
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Although this procedure is not considered a part of gynecology, it is making some shrewd surgeons a fortune literally overnight. More so in cultures where there can be no wedding without a hymen. It is also widely available in some plastic surgery centres in the West and especially in the United States.
Some pretty amazing statistics are being touted by supporters of this crafty cheat-a-man-and-get-your-own-back procedure. It is said that it has been single-handedly responsible for reducing the number of women being murdered when a bride is found not to be a virgin, by a staggering 80 percent in Egypt alone over the last 10 years. Wow!!
But even more fascinating is a deft touch added to the procedure. Apart from reconstructing the hymen, a gelatin capsule which contains a blood-like substance is added for effect. And so when the hymen is ruptured by the cheated man “blood” spurts out. Probably enough to soak a good white sheet and delight the wedding guests about to take in Nyama choma and bloody mutura. (what an appetizer the virgin blood on the sheets must be!).
This fake but effective virginity costs between US $100 and $600. At least that is what women in Egypt are gladly paying. In Turkey getting your virginity back is estimated to cost between $140 and $1500 a pop.
Now there are a host of issues that are raised by this procedure. Proponents point to the fact that there are many ways the hymen can be accidentally “punctured” even without sexual intercourse and this procedure has saved the lives of many innocent women who have never had sex but still end up dying on their wedding night any way. Critics point to the obvious fact that a lot of men will get cheated. But then many women will counter back that women get cheated all the time by men who never have to carry any visible and obvious signs that they are not virgins.
I can already see the advertisements for this procedure which should be with us very soon;
- Cause a man to worship you, get married virgin even if your immediate former profession was an escort girl.
- Get the wedding night that was intended for you from the beginning of time.
- Get your own back on men prove to him that you are a virgin while being careful not to cause him a heart attack.
In neighboring Zanzibar it is common for young girls under intense pressure to have only anal sex with their boyfriends until their wedding night. The health repercussions of this kind of sexual activity, which includes passing stool without any control, are enormous. And so those who can afford a flight to Egypt and $100 will have another way of having their cake and eating it as well.
Surely the end of the world is not too far off!!
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