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Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Karanja Gatiba’s sudden death: Could there be foul play?

Kumekucha Exclusive

Even as we await the results of the post mortem carried out by the government pathologist on the late CID chief, Gatiba Karanja investigations by Kumekucha have unearthed some interesting information.

Gatiba was the first CID chief in Kenya to die while still in office and this has raised a lot of speculation and suspicion amongst many. Some Kumekucha writers have even suggested that the man was a threat to the powers that be. This suggestion is laughable when you consider the facts.

Gatiba Karanja was such a stooge and he was a mere figure-head in CID that he “virtually disappeared” while in office and very few people were even aware of who the CID chief was. This is in sharp contrast to some of his very high profile predecessors.

Part of the reason for this is President Kibaki’s management style where he deals directly with the police commissioner and has no time for his underlings like the CID chief. President Moi in sharp contrast always had a very close working relationship with his CID chief so much so that many times when he fired the police commissioner, the CID chief would always remain in office. It is highly unlikely that Gatiba met Kibaki in person more than once. His predecessor Joseph Kamau met Kibaki only twice and they never had a single telephone conversation during his entire time in office.

If there was anybody to be eliminated in connection to the post election violence troubles then it can only be people like Maj Gen Ali who still hold many of Kibaki’s dark secrets.

So what may have caused Gatiba’s sudden death? Investigations by this blogger reveal that the former CID chief has been dogged by poor health for a number of years now. One of his main ailments has been high blood pressure. Despite this problem, those close to him have revealed some very disturbing news. That Gatiba was using some sexual performance enhacing drugs like Viagra and others to help with erectile dysfunction problems that are usually common with men who reach his age. He was 56 years old. Using these kind of drugs when one has high blood pressure is usually extremely dangerous and can easily lead to a heart attack. To make matters worse the late Gatiba had two wives.

Interestingly the first reports on his death indicated that when he was woken up in the morning he failed to wake up. A heart attack in the night before could have been the cause of death in such a scenario. Strangely this initial report was later changed to state that he developed breathing problems in the morning and was then rushed to hospital.

It is important to remember that nothing conclusive can be stated at this point about his cause of death until we have the results of the post mortem which are expected to be released today. My sources on the ground have assured me that I will have the report as soon as it is released to the press. But at this point the information I have seems to rule out any possibility of foul play.


Anonymous said...

Chris amanunuliwa ama ?

M. Pesa said...


If you really want to gauge the political mood or smell any cooking scandal on the ground, then you either have to talk to your taxi driver or barber. These people, unlike Kumekucha rarely get their facts wrong. I talked to my barber and he believes there are some dark forces involved in Gatiba's demise. He asked why such a senior cop who knows A to Z of the post election chaos would just kick the bucket a few days before meeting Ocampo. It's true it could be just a coincidence, then again it could be the work of the dreaded faceless mafia who financed the near genocide. We really can't be sure as of now. But if another senior figure just drops dead anyhow, then we shall come to some eerie conclusion. Hope no one is taken out..before talking to Ocampo.

Anonymous said...

My CONDOLENCES to the family of the late SIMON GATIBA KARANJA, to his close friends, colleauges at the CID and on the police force.

There you go again with the usual spiced up rumours about the death of one Simon Gatiba Karanja.

I just hope that you won't end up being a purveyor of stale gossip and rumours that always rear their ugly heads within the Nairobi metropolitan area as well as in the Kenyan countryside.

First of all, what happened to respecting the privacy of our fellow citizens, be they public officials or private citizens?

I couldn't disagree with you more, based on your unqualified statement that it's not common with men who reach his age, 55-years in Gatiba Karanja's case, to die from complications related to sexual enhancement drugs (medications).

Generalization is never a qualifier in the world journalism nor in the medical field.

If I may ask, what men did you have in mind? Are you referring to African males, European males, Asian males or your typical average North American males?

Your rumours are all hogwash and unsubstantiated with regard to certain demographics due to the fact that there are so many African men in their mid-late fifties who are still firing on all of their four pistons without the help of synthetic oils, alloys, pills, gels, foreplay or even pornographic stimulus packages that are so common in the west.

As matter of fact, some of the males may not be operating on all of their six pistons as they used to during their early teens, twenties, thirties or early forties, but they can still manage to race hard on a daily or weekly basis depending on how often their partners, wives, mistresses, girlfriends, colleagues and 'neighbourly mercy angels' are willing to accomodate or invite them for race at a convenient race track.

LOL! Viagra, Cialis and Levitra are now being accused of foul play? That's a new one. When did they become the "usual suspects" in cardiac arrhythmia or congestive heart failure prognosis?

Keep the spiced rumours coming for all they are worth, but at the same time, maintain some sense or level of respect for the family of the late Simon Gatiba Karanja.


Abantu said...

The problem with we Kenyans is that we always want to see much more than is required to be seen. For example if Raila went on a tour of Central Province and suddenly got ill out of purely natural causes, the Kenyan rumour mill and pro and anti Agwambo will work overtime 'wakimtafuta mchawi!' Jamani cant a man in a senior position in govt die and be allowed have died of personal mathenas whether he was meant to meet Ocampo or The Queen of England the next day? Please.

Chris, keep up the expose papa. Wenye wivu wajinyonge.

Anonymous said...

Finally, Raila's white godfather in Britain, Gordon Brown, has accepted defeat and resigned as PM. Fortunately, his supporters did not rape or murder those who voted the "wrong" way by voting for Cameron, the conservative leader and the new PM. That is a lesson our brothers and sisters must learn, especially the infamous RV barbarians who raped and murdered Kibaki supporters in the last general elections.

Anonymous said...

Congratularions to Kalonzo for prevailing over his coleagues in the "Yes" team to use persuation and not confrontation while dealing with the "No" people.

Anonymous said...

Anon 5:29

...At least Cameron's Conservative party did not call for mass actions like Mr. Molasses Odinga called ODM supporters to kill and maim their rivals. He (David Cameron) followed the law to the letter until justice was done.
I wonder can Kenyan politicians really behave in this civility???

Kumekucha Princess

Anonymous said...

Its 2013, the first round of elections are over. Raila leads with 37%, Kalonzo 25%, Uhuru 20%, Ruto 10%, Eugene 5% and the others kina Karua, Heron and the rest 2%.
The new katiba is in effect and Raila has to face off with Kalonzo.
Uhuru and Ruto throw their weight behind Kalonzo while Eugene, Karua and Heron go with Raila.
After the second round, Kalonzo beats Raila with 60% versus 39% for Raila.

Raila retires a 68 year old dejected luo chief who was so close to state house.
Where have i heard that before??

Anonymous said...

Raila is a real thug. How did he manage to infiltrate the govt printers with his worshippers and introduce some modifications (limitations) on the Bill of Rights in the Proposed Constitution. Can you believe what he wants? That he wants to be able to suspend our rights on the basis of National Security when he becomes president!! What makes him think that he is assured of the presidency? Wana-Kenya wako macho.

Anonymous said...

Raila is planning an urgent trip to London to be the first Kenyan leader to pledge loyalty to David Cameron as Kalonzo waffles with his yes-no-yes-no loyalty pledge. Unfortunately, Raila can only claim later that Cameron is a friend and not his cousin.

Anonymous said...

Selective amnesia ama cold paranoia. At least Gordon Brown never sent policemen/AP to be Labour party's poll agents. Fish rots from the top and to claim an opposition having an upper hand against an incumbent in Africa is first class dishonesty. What did NSIS tell the sloth before polls?

Anonymous said...

Mutahi Ngunyi put it so clearly last Sunday that the Gema nation colonized the presidency and they are generally DECEITFUL. Somthing had to give and 2007 theft provided the proof. Kenya will never be the same again. The whiners here are just bitter that Kenyans saw through their lies and rose up. Never again. And the the obsession with RAO is another proof who is upsetting the aple cart.

Anonymous said...

As the world focuses on Africa this year for the world cup, Africa needs to take a closer look at its men and their leadership roles in Africa and beyond.

In a continent where half the men do not know their daughters birthday, their wedding anniversary or the menstrual cycles of their wives, there is a reason these men are the way they are. It is not for the lack of brilliance. These men know the shoe sizes of Diego Maradona, Ronaldo, and Kaka, the shirt number of the world’s most expensive player and the width of the river Nile . But they are disconnected socially from their mothers, wives, sisters, daughters and in some cases from their fellow men. These men look happy, but the women in their lives are miserable.

This article is not an indictment against Africa ’s great men who are standing in the gap and being great husbands, statesmen, brothers and fathers. This article recognizes that such men are there. The trouble is they are the exception rather than the rule.

The hope is that this article will spark a dialogue that will positively affect the next generation so that they are better than the current one. To be a real man after all is not about being closed away from the world you live in, but possessing a worldview that seeks to understand not only sport and nature, but the opposite sex.

1. They Don’t Communicate: They do not just get it. They only speak when they are angry and when they do they yell and shout. They don’t know how to say sorry unless it is to the revenue authority, the police officer and the fire marshal. Their own communications have no emotion or connectivity. They can talk about bridges and high story buildings but not talk about the stories behind the people who built those buildings.

2. They are Too Angry: They have not seen a Psychologist in years. To an African man, the dread of seeing a counselor is the equivalent to a woman’s dread before a visit to the gynecologist.

3. They Love Sex but Hate Romance: Romance is a waste of time. Romance is just another 8th wonder galloping a tourist money and time. Sex for an African man is like a science project whose apparatus change depending on the mood. So the rule of thumb is, “Get it done as soon as you can, get in and get out and make some children while at it.”

4. They Don’t Respect Women: Don’t ask her how her day was, but ask her if dinner is ready. She must respect you but you must never respect her. The only time you respect her is when you are in the presence of her relatives but as soon as you are the two of you, call her all kinds of names as long as they are NOT ‘Sweety, Lovie, Baby or Honey.’

5. They Treat Women like Slaves: The harder she works, the more womanly she is. She must work until her face wrinkles. She must work until her hands blister. She must work until she has no desire to look beautiful for anyone. Some men have never even cooked for their wives or for their children.

6. Too Much Soccer, Too much Politics: If the passion an African man puts in his soccer and his politics was the same passion he put in his woman, the African woman would be ecstatic.

7. Don’t Know what to do with Children: An African man has the libido, energy and sex drive to father an entire village of children, but he does not know how to raise those children. He does not know how to show up at the child’s graduation day, sports day, and career day, not even take their child to the hospital or under-five clinic. The African man gets this from his parents and forefathers. African men have no idea what it means to be hugged or loved by their own fathers.

Anonymous said...

....African men contd.

8. Little Accountability: The African man is not accountable to anyone or any organization but to his own ego. He does not want to account for his wife’s or girlfriend’s money. Nor his sisters or mothers money. No wonder the African man makes a terrible politician. An African man wants a free spirit that hovers around the world without anyone telling it where to land though it is past its landing time.

9. Poor Cosmetic Hygiene: The African man does not like to smell good. He likes to visit the barber to escort his friend but he does not enjoy a clean cut or shave. He would rather shave his own head even if it makes him look like a peacock. The only time an African man looks good is at weddings. All the while the women in his life wish he could just use some deodorant, perfume and cologne. But in the mind of an African man, these are all eccentrics of feminists.

10. Too Educated: An African man has more degrees than an American, European or a Japanese. African men have scavenged the world for the best education. They have sold their goods and properties, divorced themselves from social networks and relocated thousands of miles away in pursuit of education. But the real question is what has that education done for Africa ? Zero. Some men in Africa have a dozen degrees; couple dozen diplomas, three dozen certificates, a thousand certificates of attendance and multiple PhD’s. Did I mention MBA’s? Yet education for an African man is a tool for intimidating others with and a bragging right rather than an inner liberation. One of the reasons the Nobel Prices have fewer African’s and more Europeans and Americas is that Africans are still doing their thesis while the other people are in the laboratory and on the ground putting into practice what they have learnt.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
One of the reasons the Nobel Prices have fewer......
It should read Nobel Prizes.
This article on African Men is pure hogwash, bereft of any relevance or value.
Kumekucha Proof-reader

Anonymous said...

Anon above on African.

If you are like that dont assume that all African men are like you -Am a married African man and opposite of most the claims you have made!

Anonymous said...

We africans are not europeans, no matter how much westernised we want to be. Asians treat their women the way they have always treated them. Should be the same for us. And europeans keep on changing. They came up with the rule of the thumb and not sparing the rod: euphemisms for beating your wife and the children. Now they say no such beating should happen.

Secondly it is not easy to treat a black woman nicely. Ask black men in US and why they prefer white women. You treat a black woman well, she starts madharau and calls you weak. Not same for white women. We all know this.

Anonymous said...

Kenyan Millionnaire in UK seeking handouts!
What happenned to the Airline she was starting in Kenya?

seen this sms from misterseed of UK
"We are calling upon Kenyans of goodwill for an urgent funds raising event for Mrs. mable Mark to assist her engage in her case to have her estate and financesreleased
Harambee is on15th May 2010....." Thanks Mr.seed

This where her problems started.

I will attend since I benefited from her GOOD ways.You dont defraud the British government and then ask Kenyans for handouts.Jail term is sure!!!

Anonymous said...

Anon above on African men,

Are you just noticing our African men are useless kabisa. Pole sana, some of us have moved on long time ago to greener pastures!

I think what African men need to do is to marry each other (gay weddings) and let's wipe out that cruel heartless genes for good!

Joragem said...

Wako blames the changes sneaked in the Proposed Constitution of Kenya on the dark hand of NSIS. But Gatiba, head of CID died a few days ago. Will this Katiba also use 'Viagra' & die of HTN? What is the relationship between Gatiba & Katiba? We need a leap of faith. A lot of it. Huyu mtu ni wenu, ni wao, ni wetu ama ni Wako? Sijui nisemeje!

Anonymous said...


Ati sudden death?

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

U said it wel, it wont help since hes dead already, thou misunderstndng is what wil b btn us... Lets respect and honour this...
RIP Katifa

Anonymous said...

I don't blame you for all the lies you are going to post about him. He was honourable.He was a good man. That's all is there to say.
(bloodline )

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