Friday, February 20, 2009
No Shame As Kenya Receives Food Aid From Sahara Desert
I mean Egypt is literally a desert and gets much less rain than Kenya (actually the country hardly receives rain and South of Cairo, rainfall averages only around 2 to 5 mm (0.1 to 0.2 in) per year and at intervals of many years.) However they have been able to use their limited resources to become self sufficient in food to the extent where they can afford to donate food stuffs to the Kenyan government worth Kshs 10 Million. To be honest I hung my head in great shame when I saw this news clip just now. I was so ashamed I just had to make a post.
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Kumekucha titbits: After your long flight into
Kenya, do you want to seat in a traffic jam for
hours as you try to get into chaotic Nairobi? Or
would you prefer a budget hotel in the outskirts of Nairobi?
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Actually apart from the Nile Valley, the majority of Egypt's landscape is a desert. The country includes parts of the Sahara Desert and of the Libyan Desert. Compare that to Kenya with Lake Victoria (the source of the great River Nile that passes through Egypt) and several rivers and lakes in the country. Not to mention plenty of fertile soil in idle land that if utilized properly can create great wealth for the country.
I have said it here before and will repeat it for the sake of our newer readers. By simply making serious efforts to harvest rainfall and creating enough storage facilities, the lives of Kenyans can be revolutionized. Digging boreholes is not the best solution for the environment and depletes underground water resources with devastating long term consequences.
See also: No Ugali? Why Don't the People Eat Chapati?
What future for Kenya?
Thursday, February 19, 2009
No Ugali, Why Don't The People Eat Chapati?
Also published in the last few hours: Defeated Ruto Censure motion saved lives by Taabu
Final Warning: A Bloody Revolution Is Coming
Yesterday President Mwai Kibaki and Prime Minister Raila Odinga sat visibly uncomfortable as they received a well-deserved dressing down from religious leaders from virtually all faiths united in their view that the trio has failed Kenyans. Even more telling were the wild cheers the clergymen received from the crowds.
Indeed many of the points they put forward will be extremely familiar to Kumekucha readers but the bottom line is that the principals have remained tribal chiefs who just wanted the big seat and have failed to provide leadership for the country and to unite all Kenyans at a very crucial time. They have no business leading a cattle dip, let alone a whole nation.
Read The Full story of what happened.
Personally what I find to be the saddest thing of all in
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Do you suspect your spouse is cheati9ng on you? Well, you can easily find out for sure by recovering deleted sms messages on their cell phones. Hehehehehehehe.
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This was very well illustrated here last week when I gave a my predictions for the future based on careful analysis (and not witchcraft as some commentators believe). My predictions were greeted with anger, especially the one about a coming bloody uprising by the hungry masses. Folks just couldn't stomach that. Not after the bloody post-war chaos that we are yet to recover from.
Ladies and gentlemen let us not be the proverbial ostrich that buries it's head in sand and ignores the rapidly approaching forest fire, believing that if they cannot see it then it does not exist.
Actually since I made those predictions numerous other political analysts have concurred including Mutahi Ngunyi on an interview aired on national TV and in his Sunday Nation column. So I think we have reached that place where it is important to understand why all these sane people are talking war.
Since I penned the controversial words in my prediction, the situation has in fact badly deteriorated. One of the ways that we would have been able to avoid violence was if the 10th parliament had continued on the same path and in the same spirit they had in rejecting the constitutional amendment bill to create a local tribunal. That spirit was perfect because it echoed the feelings of the people on the ground. That would have easily saved the situation. However in defeating the Ruto censure motion, the current parliament showed it's true colours and alienated itself from the people. Even as you read this interest in the live parliamentary broadcasts is waning rapidly. And sadly so because some interesting things happened in the house yesterday (parliament failed to pass the list of new interim electoral commissioners simply because somebody whispered that the chairman is a wife-batterer).
In other words because parliament has failed to articulate the true feelings on the ground, the people will be left with no other option. And get me right, not that anybody will plan it it will all be spontaneous. And don't call me an inciter because the real inciters are parliament and our leaders.
Sample this; in replying to the very genuine points of constructive criticism brought against the grand coalition government President Kibaki jeered at them and told them to stop acting holier than thou because everybody is to blame. Kalonzo Musyoka repeated the same sentiments quoting a verse from the Bible out of context that says all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. What does that tell you? It is clear that Kibaki and Raila will do nothing. It will be business as usual (wacha wale wanataka kupayuka wapayuke). So what do you sincerely expect?
Please tell me what we should do? A commentator here yesterday criticized me for not offering solutions. How can you offer solutions when people are in denial and are saying that actually there is no problem. What problem will your solution be designed to address?
Ohhh and I almost forgot. The staple Maize flour that so many Kenyans rely on for food is already selling for as much as Kshs 90 per 2 kilogram packet (Kshs 120 in some places), however it seems that Kenyans ain't seen nothing yet because prices are set to rise yet again. Read the reason why here.
Defeated Ruto Censure Motion Saves Lives
Te mainstream newspapers and TV stations conveniently avoided telling the story behind people glued to screens keenly watching parliament proceedings live in every joint in Eldoret. Maybe it was responsible of the journalists to practice guarded caution lest they be accused of being alarmist and RATTLING SNAKES.
Anybody with a keen eye on his/her surrounding must have witnessed a near exodus from the outskirts to town centre the day before the motion. Once beaten numerously shy and with the IDP wounds still festering and becoming septic, people were not taking chances after WORD WENT ROUND warning that Bonny Khalwale and Martha Karua and all associated with them by dialect must either shape up or ship out.
Forget about the empty gloating of security for all. The hot balloon has been pierced and deadly militia continue to roam our villages waiting for DEPLOYMENT. Kenyans have reason to fear for themselves. With no moral authority to order anything or anybody around except brute state force, the government lost Kenyans long time ago.
The faint hearted will wax patriotic and chest thumb about raw power oblivious of the potent tinderbox waiting to have its pin off. We all love peace that separates us from other apes but ours is exclusively premised on our love to live a collective national lie. Kenya has never been fractious and if you doubt it from the relative comfort of your keyboard then you better continue dreaming hard and please don’t wake up to the harsh reality.
Politics is no game for saints and Kenyans must brace themselves for the long haul with the present scoundrels on wheels. A few good people may be in it for the wider good but only until the shit hits the fan of expediency and self-preservation. Feathering their nests at our collective expense must be the unwritten memorandum which most appear to water with their blind loyalty.
Cheap politics of emotions
Thank God for small mercies albeit for all the wring reasons. Defeat of Khalwale’s motions may have restored short term peace in the PEACE VALLEY but not for long. Anytime political temperatures soar, the villagers see the flames engulfing the tinderbox. It remains a matter of when and not if the pin gives way.
In the meanwhile those weaned on newspaper and emotional politics can drink from their time tested cups with their heads deep inside the sand. Reality will eventually strike them hard on the face soon.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
10th Parliament Crashes And Burns Shortly After Take Off
In other words our dear legislators voted to support corruption and impunity.
Kenyans on the streets and everywhere we managed to interview them are now saying that the true colours of this parliament that has refused to pay taxes has now clearly come out for all to see.
Ruto enjoyed a landslide victory of 133 MPs voting against the motion and only 22 supporting.
What has greatly angered the people further are the numerous meetings held at various city hotels last night whose agenda was today’s censure motion that would almost have certainly seen Ruto resign had it succeeded. Sources tell this blogger that the agriculture minister hosted a huge contingent of legislators at the Nairobi Casino and then for some unclear reasons the “party” was moved to the Safari Park Hotel later. It is said that MPs were making their way home at 3 am this morning. Money is even said to have exchanged hands and that is why a motion that at first seemed to have huge support suddenly fizzled out. Even the man moving the motion, Ikolomani legislator Bonny Khalwale was a pale shadow of himself at the crucial moment and the gynecologist by profession failed “to deliver the baby safely” for the anxious Kenyan people. Indeed the evidence Khalwale tabled against Ruto was so weak that he did not seem to believe it himself. So what happened to the convincing points he has been raising over the past 2 weeks or so? Was it so hard to back it all up?
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Kumekucha titbits: Laptops get dropped all the time. Did you know that this can easily cause your hard drive to crash with vital data and information trapped inside? Hard disk recovery in Kenya exists and could be your only option if such misfortune befell you.
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In retrospect it was one motion that Ruto would not have afforded to lose. With all sorts of accusations leveled against him concerning the post-elections troubles, the man probably felt that only his stay in the seat of power could protect him adequately from the many troubles ahead. And so if it is true he spent the fortune that people are saying he spent, then he must be sleeping well tonight, secure in the fact that he spent his money well.
But the biggest loser in today’s debate was the Kenyan people some of whom have already lost their lives due to starvation. Ruto says the maize sold was too little to feed starving Kenyans. Of course he is carefully ignoring the fact that his actions triggered off heft price increases in the marketplace. So the question of how many bags were sold irregularly does not really arise here. The truth of the matter is that Ruto's action have had a devastating effect on the price of the Kenyan staple of Unga.
Impunity has once again won the day. But mark my words it has only won one of the many battles with most still to come. The war proper is another matter altogether.
P.S. Just a reminder folks... I told you to keep your eyes firmly fixed on 3 individuals. William Ruto, Uhuru Kenyatta and Bonny Khalwale. The big question I have on my mind tonight is; did Khalwale attend the Casino and Safari Park bashes?
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
In Case We Go To The Hague
Winners:
Kenyan Tax Payers: In these tough economic times, we should be happy that our tax shillings will not be used in the formation of a kangaroo court.
Kamiti Residents: The way I see it, all prisoners in
Raila Odinga: In about two weeks, we shall start hearing some fantastic stories about how Raila really and truly never wanted a local tribunal…even though he voted for it. Come campaign time, the people’s president will take credit for sending chaps to
Mwai Kibaki: Now that this thing is pretty much over, my friend can go back to State House and rest. The trips to Parliament Buildings were not only cumbersome but also very tiring. Rather than listen to hecklers saying ‘no’ to his face, he would rather sit in his backyard listening to birds chirp and feeding bananas to the monkeys of Arboretum.
Ruto and Uhuru: Wacheni kupapatika wasee. Fifteen years is a long time to prepare a defense…. and even if they lost the case, current ICC prisoners eat eggs and sausages for breakfast. As we speak, there are some Rwandese prisoners in
Phillip Waki: For the first time in
IDPs: It’s going to take a while but justice will come…someday. Just the sight of Kenyan suspects shivering behind the bullet proof glass should provide some solace.
Kalonzo Musyoka: He’s probably the only person in
Major Ali: Much as he’s willing to divulge all the details of the much publicized police killings, the man simply does not have a case to answer.
Monday, February 16, 2009
Lords of Impunity, Return of the Arturs

Like father like son so they say. Al Saadi Gaddafi came to Kenya and secure in the knowledge that we have sold our soul to his father he ran roughshod right from the airport after disembarking from the private jet with his mother in tow.
That Gaddafi Senior has total contempt for Kenya is not in any doubt. After auction our country to him before the last bungled elections, the King of kings treat us as the rag that we are. And why not when the highest bidder came to our rescue at the time of dire traits in need of election funds?
Al Saadi had our security men eating from his hand. The prince was accorded all the state security and even extended the handshake past the elbow when he demanded to use his riffle to shoot game at Maasai Mara. And the visit couldn’t have come at a better time for Kenyan get keepers when artificially engineered hunger fraud consumed all our attention.
Gaddafi is on a mission to bastardize the BLACK CONTINENT with his grandiose pet project of United States of Africa. In true Kenyan spirit he bought 200 tribal chiefs from all over Africa to crown him KING OF KINGS just before assuming AU chairmanship. And when he did he dropped the bombshell from Libyan template of democracy dolled in single party.
One can only imagine what OBJECTIVE role Gaddafi would have played were he the AU chair during last years PEV. Thank God for small mercies for the LEADER would have done everything to protect his interests and prop up those owing him plenty in hitherto glamorous Grand Regency deals and all its derivatives.
Moral authority
Fraud strips you of all traces of moral authority and Gaddafi knows it better. He came to Uganda early last year not only to open the regions biggest mosque but he had his eyes singularly trained on payback cheque from his Kenyan debtors. Damn the grim bloodshed then within out shows and the beneficiaries knew better than upset supreme king. They went to Kampala to negotiate postponement of pay. No wonder the GR couldn’t wait to be rebranded LAICO despite the intense heat it generated from within.
Armed with the right dossier of our culpability, Al Saadi came calling the shots. His bravado and trashing of our security apparatus was a re-enactment of Artur brothers II. Well history is unkind to those who refuse to learn from it in making sure such poor souls repeat it at a painful cost.
We haven’t seen anything yet from the ENTERPRISING rulers and their cronies. Al Saadi just outdid the scoundrel in the obtuse impunity game..
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Mutahi Ngunyi Recycles Kumekucha As Raila Says Coalition Government Is Not That Corrupt
But I digress. Towards the end of last week he was interviewed on K24 and he repeated a lot of the predictions that I made here in a controversial post that was not too well received. He repeated the same sentiments in his weekly column in the Sunday Nation yesterday. Ngunyi says that it is not a question of if Kenya will explode but when. You can read the full article now.
It seems that most people do not understand why the country will explode or why it seems inevitable that we cannot escape another round of violence and blood letting, as much as we want to. This just illustrates how wide the gap is between ordinary down and out folk now paying a record Kshs 120 per 2 kilograme packet of maize flour through no fault of their own and the lucky few Kenyans who decide what they want to eat today and where they will eat it.
People also don’t have a clue why the coalition government is finished, including senior politicians in it. So let me give you a small illustration to help us all understand.
Imagine this school where some of the school prefects have rebelled and defied the school administration. The rest of the students are very excited about this naturally. So as headmaster what would you do? Would you just relax and pretend that everything was okay? Of course not. The thing to do would be to sack the prefects who defied you immediately and restore order and authority right away. Indeed in any management situation you don’t stomach rebellion, you cannot afford to.
Jomo Kenyatta understood this well and so did Daniel arap Moi. But Mwai Kibaki does not seem to have the slightest clue. While there is more democratic space, thios does not change human nature and the fundamentals of politics and governance.
This is one of the reasons why the coalition is doomed. It is really just a matter of time.
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Kumekucha titbits: Did you know that corporate team building programmes have been known to turn around previously loss-making companies the world over?
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There are those who say that corruption is the glue holding the coalition government together and for this reason it will survive until 2012. While it is true that corruption is a strong glue, there is yet another motivating factor (and much stronger factor) that will help break the GCG much quicker than most people think. It is prize much more valuable than the corruption currently going on. It is the presidency of the republic of Kenya which means billions and billions of shillings. Politicians are ambitious and very greedy. That combination is deadly. Many in the 10th parliament are already scheming and planning how they will come out tops in the next general elections. That is what caused the embarrassing defeat of the government in the house over the Waki bill and that is what will roast William Ruto if the censure motion against him comes up for discussion in the house this week (as is widely expected). Don’t forget that I talked about the power of those TV cameras and radio micropones in the house that are causing MPs to play to the gallery and to echo the feelings and sentiments of their constituents unlike the situation before.
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These days every time Prime Minister Raila Odinga opens his mouth to speak it ends up being a political disaster and the support he once had continues to be eroded by the day.
The latest is that Raila has disagreed with most Kenyans and said that the Grand Coalition government is NOT that corrupt. In fact he told off the church for criticizing the government. Read the whole story here.
Wow!!! That is all I can say about that.
Sunday Quip: Impunity, Word of the Moment
The two short words are: i) Imp and ii) Unity
My dictionary defines an imp as a little devil. A little devil really! So it logically (?) follows that people who commit atrocities with impunity are simply united, little devils. And, boy, what damage and havoc devils (whether little or big) can unleash, is unsearchable.
God knows how many united, little devils we have in this country. The past one year or so has seen the emergence of the handi-work of these “little devils” on the fabric of the Kenyan society.
Yeah. And these are the very same people who should face the heat for their cold, steely hearts! The perpetrators of the post-election violence (these “little devils”) should face the knife of justice Hague-style.
Kenyans are tired of the culture of impunity. “United, little devils” should be served with the kind of “justice” that they know only to well: they should not be let to breathe the fresh air like the rest of us guys.
They should be stripped off their leadership positions and their case hearings and judgement dates should be “fast-tracked”. Impunity must be dealt a death blow.
For how long are Kenyans going to be led by “united, little devils”?
God, please save us from ourselves.
Elsewhere:
Albinos in Tanzania: Legislators should Stand up for the down-trodden
Do people really understand…?