Joe represents Kenya’s new face. Urbane, eloquent and opinionated this chap is smart with his rights at his fingertips. So this particular Friday evening (December 28, 2007) Joe came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinking drunk, as he often did. Poor intoxicated Joe creeps into bed beside his wife who was already asleep. He gave her a kiss on the cheek and fell asleep.
On waking up, Johnny’s half-closed eyes encounter a strange sight. Standing at the end of his bed, is a heavily built man wearing a long flowing white robe. "Who the hell are you?" Demanded Joe, "and what business do you have in my bedroom?"
"This isn't your bedroom, and I'm St Peter," came the soulful answer from the mysterious man. Joe was stunned "You mean I'm dead??? That can't be, I have so much to live for, I haven't said goodbye to my family....you've got to send me back Straight away".
St Peter replied "Yes, you can be reincarnated but there is a catch. We can only send you back as a dog or a hen."
Poor Joe was devastated. But knowing there was a farm not far from his house, he asked to be sent back as a hen. A flash of light later he was covered in feathers and clucking around pecking the ground. "This isn't so bad" he thought until he felt this strange feeling welling up inside him.
The farmyard rooster strolled over and said "So you're the new hen? How are you enjoying your first day here?" "It's not so bad" replies Joe, "but I have this strange feeling inside like I'm about to explode". "You're ovulating" explained the rooster. "Don't tell me you've never laid an egg before". "Never" replies Joe. "Well just relax and let it happen", says the rooster.
And so he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg pops out from under his tail. An immense feeling of relief swept over him and his emotions got the better of him as he experienced motherhood for the first time.
When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was Overwhelming and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that ever happened to him ... ever!!!
The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg he felt an enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his wife shouting... "Joe, wake up you drunken bastard, you're sh*tting in bed!!"
Moral of the story: Watch out what you wish for and don't take it for granted. In fullness of time it may turn out to be the noose around your neck.
Non zenze--this is what kumekucha has beentruned out to be
ReplyDeleteODM and PNU MP elects are locked up in different locations strategizing about the election of a speaker.
ReplyDeletePNU, ODM-Kenya and small parties are at Simba lodge in Naivasha strategizing what they call their parliamentary agenda starting with the election of a speaker.
Vice-President Kalonzo Musyoka is leading the meetings at naivasha where reports indicate Njoki Ndungu has been offered a nomination and suport for deputy speaker to step down in the race for speaker.
At KCB Management Karen ODM MPs were relieved of their phones and movements out of the Management centre were curtialed only Chris Okemo was allowed out to pick their entry cards from Parliament.
The idea we learnt was to block wooing communication from PNU.
The stakes for the speaker seat are high.
www.abunuwasi.com
You cracked me up, mwalimu!
ReplyDeleteThat was a good one! Taabu
ReplyDeleteHere's more evidence of rigging
ReplyDeletehttp://news.yahoo.com/s/mcclatchy/2815176;_ylt=Av_GSLOBsXEvFQNIrWvIucSs0NUE
ALL NON-GEMA KENYA ARMY SOLDIERS SENT ON COMPULSORY LEAVE
ReplyDeleteMon, 14 Jan 2008 10:15:06 +0000 (GMT)
Attention all Kenyans!! Uganda soldiers are now in Kenya under the protection of our own armed forces. And do you know that all non-GEMA Kenya Army soldiers are being sent on compulsory leave as we speak?. Pray for our country and people
Sorry Link got messed up.
ReplyDeleteGoogle the following:
Kenyan president lost election, according to U.S. exit poll
Kuna ng'ombe wa PNU mwenye kazi yake ni kucomplain juu ya ODM, aende ajinyonge mbali. Wembe ziko kila mahali.
ReplyDelete