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Saturday, June 30, 2007

Intimate Details Of The Battle Deep Within ODM Becomes Public Knowledge

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Daily Nation newspaper says Raila almost shed tears…


The goings on deep within the ODM high command are now in the public domain.

The most graphic description of it all is in today's Nation newspaper;

"That was why the Langata MP was almost shedding tears before the council of elders on Wednesday as he questioned the determination by his colleagues to confine him to the Prime Minister's post

"Sources said his colleagues are of the view that Mr Odinga cannot defeat President Kibaki at the ballot box."

The Nation newspaper analysis earlier clearly explains how Kalonzo Musyoka, Mudavadi and Ruto have clearly stated their position which is that Raila should step down and pave way for either Mr Musyoka or Mudavadi to be the Odm fag bearer for president, because they claim that those are the candidates with a better chance of defeating president Kibaki.

I remain neutral in this battle within ODM because anyway I have now gone back to my radical old self which says that none of the above are fit for the office and we need to look for a principled political nobody to elect into office.

Still the naked truth is that all these ODM presidential candidates have changed their minds and positions shamelessly. Remember the time when Raila was at pains to convince his colleagues to go for the consensus method of finding a candidate? It is not even 3 months ago when this was happening. Now it is the same Raila rooting for elections via delegates and all the rest rooting for consensus. Which means that the situation must have changed and therefore the candidates have changed to favor the system that favors their individual agenda most.

Remember how Kalonzo refused to submit his presidential nomination papers until a properly constituted neutral national election board was in place at ODM? Surely you don’t need an electoral board for the consensus method, do you?

But the most attention-grabbing news in the whole saga for me is the fact that to date, none of the presidential candidates have made any statement about the politically instigated violence that has now crept into the vast Kibera slums shortly after leaflets warning residents had been circulated. The priorities of these gentlemen are very clear. It is just to get to State House, period. A few people dying in Kibera and elsewhere is of no consequence to them. Let us wake up, my brothers.

Horror of Kenyan with female sex organ sharing cell with men at Kamiti Prison

Are you a Kenyan? Do You love your country? Join in this noble campaign to change things. Do something instead of just complaining.

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What Running Kumekucha Has Taught Me: Opinion Is NOT Cheap Talk

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How some Kumekucha commentators have influenced my political thinking… negatively over time

Even as we launch our campaign on Monday to fight for an end to the current wave of political violence in Kenya, I have started realizing just how powerful the written word and mere comment can be. They say that talk is cheap and that idlers and people who are close to crackpots are the ones who write comments and opinion pieces, because they achieve very little if anything. How wrong can somebody be? Propaganda experts will just laugh at such a suggestion because this is always at the heart of their campaigns.

There is a simple experiment I invite you to do. Start with this post and click on the last heading on the right and in that way go backwards in time to the year 2006 and 2005
and you will clearly note that I started out as a political radical intent on campaigning for change in Kenya by dismissing all current political leaders. But gradually through the influence of our regular readers and commentators, I have greatly softened my stand to the point where I started seriously considering the current political pretenders for office. The lesser evil, as they say. This is something I would NEVER have done when I started out.

Thank you, my brother Taabu, you correctly noted this shift in my position a few weeks ago and said it here. The good news I have for you is that today I have returned to my previous position (because it is the only way we can save our country) but this time I will work hard to convince as many other Kenyans as possible to join me on my side rather than trying to force it down the throats of people as I previously tried to do.

What all this confirms is that the campaign we are launching in this blog, is extremely powerful and has the potential of making a huge difference. So kindly join in and encourage as many of your friends and colleagues to do the same. You do not need to wait for Monday, you can start straight away (Go to this page and find out all you need to know to get started). http://kumekucha1.blogspot.com/2007/06/stop-political-violence-in-kenya.html

Horror of Kenyan with female sex organ sharing cell with men at Kamiti Prison

Are you a Kenyan? Do You love your country? Join in this noble campaign to change things. Do something instead of just complaining.
http://kumekucha1.blogspot.com/2007/06/stop-political-violence-in-kenya.html

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Horror As Kenyan Hermaphrodite (Has Both Female And Male Sex Organs) Shares Cells With Male Inmates At Kamiti, Now Sues

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Intersex or hermaphrodite suffers untold horror in cell with rough criminal men

Just imagine for a minute what would happen if you were to put one woman in the same cell with male inmates?

So you can imagine the sheer horror and torture a hermaphrodite would go through.

Richard Muasya, a Kenyan hermaphrodite has sued the government of Kenya and requested immediate release, unconditionally from Kamiti Maximum Prison where he is on death row after being found guilty of a robbery with violence offence.

He wants to be released for undergoing untold mockery, ridicule and dehumanization fellow inmates, prison warders and even the police. Muasya's lawyer John Chigiti would not have put it more bluntly by stating that his client .."is under constant danger of being sexually abused and molested by the anxious male inmates at Kamiti."

Muasya was born with both the male and female sex organs and at least 3 medical examinations by authorities have confirmed this sad fact. The Kenyan constitution does not make allowances for special facilities for inmates who are both male and female.

Muasya was initially arrested for the offence he was convicted of in February 2005 in Kitui. Fascinatingly he also faced charges of rape initially which were later quickly dropped apparently after his biological condition was discovered. This is strange because hermaphrodites are also capable of rape.

UPDATE: What a Kenyan constitutional court ruled about this case


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Kenya Beauty Queens Who Lost Launch Facebook Page To Expose Their Colleagues For Spreading Their Legs To Win

Woman has epileptic fit every time she tries to be with a man

Campus girl makes Kshs 20,000 a month selling pregnancy testing kits to fellow students

Did MP Gideon Mwiti Rape After Testing Victim For Aids? Hilarious Look At Evidence So Far

I regret revealing mini skirt I wore the day I was carjacked and raped at Imara Daima Estate

Woman violently rapes man until he lands in hospital Video

Amazing property deal at half the price of valuation in Golf course


Nairobi woman pays horrifyingly high price for stealing scratch cards

Be encouraged, Jomo Kenyatta was a failure in life until his sunset years

Best content writers for hire in the world $1.25

US drone attack kills top al Shabaab operations man for Westgate


How to attract men like crazy by being angry in a certain way

Friday, June 29, 2007

Kenyans, Your Country Needs You... BADLY

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The time has come for those of us in this blog who claim to love our country to start doing something other than just "talking here."

After considering your comments it is clear that opinion is divided over whether we should call for the resignation of the police commissioner and the Internal security minister or not. So for the sake of unity I have left out that issue and concentrated on what we all agree on. Which is the fact that something has got to be done about insecurity in the country.

Our campaign is not opportunistic as somebody has suggested or designed to draw attention to us. NO. All we want is action to be taken so that our brothers and sisters who do not live in Muthaiga can be safe from Mungiki and company, during this election year.

I suggest that starting Monday, we each take the time to draft letters to all the media houses whose addresses we can get. Via email, P.O. Boxes etc. Our campaign will be simply appealing for the violence against poor Kenyans who do not have the resources to defend themselves, to stop. The plan is to bombard every media outlet we can find with this issue so that Kenyans and the authorities can wake up to the danger that looms large before us.

I urge you not to underestimate this simple sounding strategy. If we can all participate and call on as many other Kenyans to participate, we can influence public opinion enough to make a difference. Especially now when our beloved preferred presidential candidates have ALL gone to sleep and are dreaming ONLY of the motorcycle motorcades and being called “MUTUKUFU.”

If you can send a copy of each letter that you send out to the media to our email address here umissedthis@yahoo.com, I will keep count of how many letters each of us has sent out. By the way it is also useful to indicate as you send me copies of the letters, how many letters you have sent out. The second phase of the plan will involve getting as many mobile telephone numbers of like-minded Kenyans as possible to push our message and agenda forward to the people. But let us start with the simple before moving to the more complex and involving.

Ladies and gentlemen, together we can do a lot and I remind you once again that unity is of utmost importance in this noble project.

Just one more very important thing I would like to say. I have noticed that many younger Kenyans have fear of one thing above everything else. They fear this thing more than they fear a carjacker with a loaded gun. That thing is failure. Well, I have news for you. If you fear failure, you are already a failure. How many times did man fail before mechanized flight was made possible? Today man flies better and further than the birds themselves with his flying machines. If I feared failure I would have given up on the first week I launched this blog because everybody ignored it.

I will tell you what you should really fear. It is inaction because that is exactly what has gotten us into the mess we are in at the moment.

So please, don’t start analyzing how successful or how unsuccessful our campaign here will be. Let’s just roll up our sleeves and get to work.

Can you folks share here the email addresses of the daily newspapers TV stations and other media outlets outside Kenya that report on Kenya and accept comment and letters from their audiences? Let’s collect all these between today and Monday (Kenyan time) when we will launch our campaign.

Father and son seduced by the same woman called "death."

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Leaked Info About KissFM’s "The Nairobi Star"

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I got this bit of information about the proposed KissFM daily newspaper and I decided to share it with you guys. Apparently the newspaper will concentrate on Nairobi news and Nairobians. Personally I think that that is very smart and is something Nation guys should worry about.

When you think about it, there is so much that is happening in Nairobi which even Kumekucha cannot fully cover and a newspaper that concentrates on Nairobi only has a decent chance of being a huge success.

I understand that the newspaper is due to hit the streets around July 2nd. Expect more reviews and analysis here when it is published.

Other Stories In This Blog About The Nairobi Star
Why Nation Should Be Worried

The Nairobi Star: What Most People Don't Know About Circulation And Advertising

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Father and son seduced by the same woman called "death."

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Kenyans Are Not Suffering Because There Is No Money

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There is this reader who has painstakingly gone through almost all the posts in Kumekucha. I have tracked him using his name and the sometimes critical but always useful comments he has been leaving.

I know that many of you must have missed the following comment from his which he left in an old post about Bunge la mwananchi. I wouldn’t have said it better about the crux of our problem in Kenya which is certainly not lack of money.


Edwin Gachinga Warima has left a new comment on your post "BUNGE LA MWANANCHI - FREEDOM FROM HUNGER":

Wiser words have never been spoken. Our government has the money, it just misuses it. How can an MP earn Ksh.887,500 (includes benefits & allowances), while Form 4 leavers, stay home because we don't have enough state/public universities? How do we pay our president Kshs. 2,000,000 when the ordinary mwananchi can't even feed his family? Why?

I'll give you the answer. Because our government is full of hypocrites and thieves, whose only concern is to enrich their pockets. These fools couldn't care less about helping Kenyans or what's in the best interest of our country.

They eat, get re-elected, and eat some more. Corruption is still rampant in Kenyan government...look at the Anglo Leasing Scandal. Despite Githongo's evidenciary tape, the Mwirarias, Murungis and Murungarus are still walking around free. By the way, wasn't Kiraitu Murungi re-appointed by Kibaki to a ministerial post? That shows us where Kibaki's heart was all along.

How about The Goldenberg scandal that bilked our country out of 70 billion shillings? Where is Kamlesh Pattni today? You guessed it, free as a bird. How about the Kanyotus,Saitotis and Gideon Mois associated with that particular scandal...where are they today? Again free, free, free...to enjoy their stolen wealth. Mean while Aaron Ringera is still pocketing 2.5 million per month as the head of --- commision of inquiry that has been inquiring forever with absolutely no results.

You say, what about the free primary & Secondary education brought about by Kibaki's government? Sure,Kibaki has made some improvements to the economy...and Bravo to him for that. But if he is trully serious on improving the economy, he should first & foremost refuse to accept that 2,000,000/= monthly salary, (and have it cut down to no more than 400,000/=)...then establish an independent arm of the government to cut MP's and Minister's salaries to no more than 200,000/= per month. (Currently, MP's...through parliament vote to give themselves pay raises.) How can you vote to yourself a pay raise? Is this ridiculous or what!!!!!!!

According to my calculations based on the above presidential, Ministerial and MP salary reductions, our country would save 176,000,000 per month. That's 176 million each & every month!!

That would build alot of classrooms!! How about using this money to improve our roads? The list of projects to do is endless. Would this get Kenya started on the road to financial recovery? You bet.

But like I said earlier, this would only be initiated by a trully serious president. I don't think we have that yet.


Father and son seduced by the same woman called "death."

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Thursday, June 28, 2007

Mungiki Violence Arrives In Kibera

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Friends, fellow Kenyans it is with tears in my eyes that I write this post today and I take no pride in having been proved 100% correct in my repeated warnings about a very violent general elections. I would rather that this post were an apology to you all for being a war monger.

What pride do I have in being proved right when scores of innocent Kenyans lie dead in the city mortuary having died for absolutely nothing. Or what was the reason they died? General elections? The presidency of Kenya? Are these things that are more precious than one human life? Tell me today that the killings will stop and I will do anything, including support the thieves and murderers who call themselves politicians and are no doubt responsible for all this chaos in our beloved country. That is how precious human life is. More so, innocent poor people who have suffered all their lives only because they were not born by a Kenyan in a position to make wealth overnight through corrupt means.

Last night four innocent, poverty-stricken Kenyans lost their lives in the sprawling Kibera slums in the hands of persons believed to be Mungiki adherents.

Even more interesting is the fact that the incident took place shortly after warnings had been issued through some leaflets circulated in the area. Eyewitnesses add that the gunmen were being directed to shoot by a smartly-dresses man carrying a briefcase.

When you read Phil's comment left here earlier today, a pattern begins to appear. It is clear that that Mr Police commissioner Ali and company are anxious to keep as much news from us as possible. But thank God for the Internet and citizen journalism. We now know that more people died in Kibera than has been reported in the news. Please read Phil's post below;

Phil has left a new comment on your post "Why Hon Michuki And Police Commissioner Ali Must R...":

Just a day before you published a story calling on Michuki and Brg. Ali to resign, I have a story that will reinforce your concerns about insecurity Chris. Unless you fall victim yourself, you will never empathise with victims of violence and insecurity in Kenya.

I received a call at about 9pm on Wednesday from Kibera (Langata Constituency) informing me that a friend of mine had been shot dead outside his house in Fort Jesus estate. Being fired at several times (actually five bullets hit him) at point blank range, the fellow died instantly. As he lies dead at City mortuary, he leaves behind six school-going children and a young jobless wife. While going to bed with a heavy heart, I was again woken up past midnight by yet another call informing me that three more individuals had been shot dead in different places in Langata constituency . Bloggers may ask why the calls; it is because I have been a long time resident of Langata, and I retain friends there, as well as being a community/social worker in the slums.

Eye witnesses said that the killers were four individuals, they all wore ski-masks (what we call monkey-hats)/heavy jackets, they carried 3 pistols and their ringleader, described as a tall slender man with a rough voice and heavy Kikuyu acccent, carried the dreaded AK-47 assault rifle. They operated on foot and worked on victims slowly and methodically, taking away wallets, cellphones and other valluables as they empty cash boxes of small businesses like butchers, bars, paraffin vendors, etc. Whoever refused to lie down when the armed robbers were operating was shot several times without second thought. A kibera shopkeeper, frozen with fright, raised his hands as if to surrender, but was hit hard on the face by the rifle butt to force him to lie face down. He lost a lot of blood and is today recovering at home nursing twelve stitches on his forehead. He was relieved of his days' sale of Kshs. 2500/-!! Infact, the said ringleader was heard boasting that this was just the beginning and more was to come in the coming days. Six hours after the raid, the deceased cell phones which were still ON, and after persistent calling the thugs actually answered and arrogantly told 'wacha kusumbua wazee'. Chilling, isnt it?

While petty crime like mugging or pick-pocketing (kupigwa tero) is common place in Kibera, like in every other slum, something is seriously wrong when four gun-totting thugs can roam casually in a densely populated estate killing and terrorising citizens as early as 8pm - when most households are have hardly retired for the night and candle lit shops are still open.

Coming at a time when Raila's rating is climbing steadily in opinion polls, while he is himself poised to launch one of the strongest presidential campaigns in multi-party Kenya and the controversy sorrounding the ODM nominations, these killings, Chris, are clearly an act of a strong warning to the area residents that not even the Kenya Police can protect them or their property unless they toe the line. (By the way Chris, why do the likes of Kalonzo and Uhuru demand for establishment of elections board in ODM if they know they will eventually settle for concensus?) Innocent citizens have been executed in Kibera in isolated cases in the last few months, but yesterday's operation means this country is headed for big trouble and it reminds me of your numerous posts of fears of a violent 2007 election.

In the rural areas, for example Mt Elgon, victims must have been terrified in their night raid experiences considering the environment they live in and the fact that people retire early in rural Kenya due to lack of electricity. If these killings in Kibera are anything to go by, then we must ask hard questions about the state of affairs in government. Police have been combing the area from early this morning but residents are afraid that this is too little, too late.

Most Kenyans fail to fully grasp the fact that Mwai Kibaki is the Commander-in-Chief of the armed forces and that he personally took an oath of office to defend the constitution and protect the lives of all Kenyans. Do we really know what this means? I think the buck stops at his door step!

Chris, you recently talked of launching a campaign to get MPs to accept a paycut in the 10th parliament. It is my considered opinion that the campaign should instead be to increase awareness and highlight the plight of victims of violence and insecurity in Kenya!!


Father and son seduced by the same woman called "death."

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Do We Do Something Or Just Sit Back And "Enjoy" The Show?

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There is a long time reader of this blog whose name is Luke. I have always known him as the sort of person who hits the nail on the head and he did just that with this comment which was again left today;

Luke has left a new comment on your post "Why Hon Michuki And Police Commissioner Ali Must R...":

reminds me of a funny thing that happened to me back in early 2002 a friend and i were discussing the state of politics back home, and we were both emphatically nodding and agreeing as we waxed lyrical "corruption in Kenya is a BAD thing!"

that same week,my friend got the chance to travel back home and see his family&friends. when he came back, i was eager to hear his assement about the state of affairs to my surprise, he started off by saying "yes, corruption is a bad thing but what can we do?we're helpless against it"
i thought..."what happened? a few days ago it was "corruption is bad fullstop" now its "what can we do we're helpless"

that ability to normalise the abnormal is the time tested silver bullet that our politicians use and they try and make everyone get used to our problems,problems which anyone else looking at them would say "how can you possibly live even 1 sec longer with this?" case in point...24 years of Moi…

oh wait...the president's just appeared on tv...he's clearing his throat to speak...finally, an end to this maddness...sadly no, he just wanted to make sure i urgently remember who the members of his family are…

kweli mimi ni pumbavu sana...(sigh)it must be normal (i guess) for hired mercenaries to brandish weapons openly in an international airport and board the plane first class...
wait...the president's appeared on tv again...


It is quite clear from some of the comments that we have been receiving here that the pungent bad smell of violence and the continued deaths of innocent Kenyans has become "normal" in our country. To most of us seated comfortably in front of our computers and burping "nyama choma" and stale beer, it is a good life and there is no reason to "upset the apple cart" by calling for the resignation of Major Ali and John Michuki. After all, the death of a dozen or so slum dwellers is nothing. Right?

WRONG!!!!!!

Even worse are the guys in the opposition whom we expect to keep the government on its' toes, our so-called future presidents, Kalonzo Musyoka and Raila Odinga. If any of them were really genuine, they would have started a hunger strike by now until the violence stops. If I were a public figure that is exactly what I would have done. In other words the truth is that these guys don't really care.

With all due respect to you my friends, the supporters of these presidential candidates, I believe it is time we united against the lot. We who say here we have no regard for tribe or clan. It is better we all boycott the general elections of no credible candidate comes up rather than speak the language that has gotten us into this mess of choosing the lesser evil.

I will not even discuss the President, who (as somebody has put it here so eloquently) took an oath to defend the people of Kenya without fear or favor. As it is now Mathare and Kibera are on fire while other Kenyans are comfortably watching the chaos, TV remote control in hand, somewhere in Muthaiga. They and their children feel safe because they have policemen and security guards guarding their gates.

So my fellow countrymen do we just sit back and write angry comments here and do nothing while defending our preferred presidential candidates?

Father and son seduced by the same woman called "death."

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What We Must Do

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The campaign for the sacking or resignation of Michuki and Ali must start in earnest (we will deal with the corrupt 850K politicians later). I agree with Phil that this is an emergency. Today I will delete any idiotic comment here to the effect that I am saying all this because I allegedly support Raila. GROW UP!!

I have my own ideas about how this campaign should be launched and waged but I would like to hear from you guys first.

Resignations (or sacking) are the only thing that will cause Kenyans to wake up to what is happening. The killings MUST STOP!!

Anybody who honestly thinks that we have a police commissioner in office and a minister whose portfolio is internal security must be a day dreamer. I don't see them. Period. Obviously whatever they may have done does not work and the honorable thing to do is to make way for others who will come in with fresh ideas.

The Police commissioner and the Minister in charge of internal security MUST RESIGN or be shown the door. Anybody who thinks that the violence will be forever contained in Mathare and Kibera should think again.

Father and son seduced by the same woman called "death."

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Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Why Hon Michuki And Police Commissioner Ali Must Resign Immediately

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Once when I was living in Tanzania I managed to get a very big beautiful house that was ideal for me. It was also the first house I had ever lived in where I had my own private loo in the master bedroom. They call it ensuite, I believe.

There was only one problem, there was a terrible smell that filled most of the house and especially the kitchen area and back porch. We soon discovered that a kind of polluted river/sewer passed somewhere at the back of the house. Sadly we discovered the smell and the whole story behind it after we had already moved in. You see the smell could only come wafting in at a certain time of the day when the wind blew in our direction. The house was in a kind of valley so wind was a little rare during the day.

When we got to see the sewer our first thought was that this had to be a major health risk. But we consulted a friend who is an expert in these things and they said it was OK because the water moved. And anyway Malaria was a problem wherever you went in Dar-es-salaam so we would have achieved little by moving.

After a while the smell disappeared. At first I was puzzled until I received a visitor from Nairobi. There was a power failure and the house got unbearable hot because the fun couldn't work. So I took them to the back porch where it was cool. They could hardly bear the pungent smell.

That day I realized that we must have all gotten used to the smell.

It is fascinating how we humans can adjust and adapt to the most terrible things.

For instance it seems that many Kenyans, especially those who are yet to be directly affected by the Mungiki antics of relieving innocent Kenyans of the weight of their heads on their shoulders, find the situation in Kenya quite normal. In fact the whole insecurity problem has become very kawaida and normal. Something that Kenyans have learnt to live with.

I agree with the remarks of a Kenyan Human Rights Official recently to the effect that they know of no other country in the world where the security situation would have deteriorated the way it has in Kenya today and still have the police commissioner and the Minister in charge of internal security still comfortably in office like nothing is happening.

Fellow Kenyans, please let us sober up for a minute and take stock of the kind of blood-letting that is already going on within our borders. Then consider the fact that the general elections are just around the corner. Let nobody fool themselves that they can carry out any kind of political campaign in the current prevailing circumstances in most parts of the country. We must start by demanding the resignation of the police commissioner and the minister incharge of internal security. Only when that happens will we be convinced that the government is taking the current situation seriously.

If you are going to leave a comment here, I urge you to remember my story about the terrible smell that disappeared. I know many will say that Kenya is no different than New York or Johannesburg for that matter. But my reply is that those guys are not in the kind of political quagmire we Kenyans have gotten ourselves into and the violence there is drug-related as opposed to ours which is almost certainly political.

Father and son seduced by the same woman called "death."

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Some Want Private Info, Others Are Asking If I've Run Out Of News

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Some Kumekucha readers would like to know more about me while others are of the view that when I start getting personal it is because I have lacked something to talk about.

My training tells me that when the personal is included in the writing of serious analysis (like I have done today with my main post where I mention the personal example from the time I lived in Dar-es-salaam) it makes for even more interesting reading. And the reason why most readers are flocking to this site in increasing numbers is because this site is an interesting read. Still Mr anonymous-have no fear, I do not own a cat so I will not start talking about the feeding habits of my pets here. That's surely not Africa, is it?

Still my view on this matter will not carry the day. I will say what Kenneth Matiba loved to say. Let the people decide.

Whatever the view of most of my readers, please bear in mind my security concerns, which are quite real. And by the way being out of Kenya does not mean that one is safe. But make ni mistake about it, I am not scared and this inconvenince is a price I am happily paying so that one day my children and grand children (and yours as well) will be glad that I lived and that I did what I am doing.

Father and son seduced by the same woman called "death."

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Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Where Does Kumekucha Live?

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This blog is read by some very smart people. The sort of guys who make me proud to be Kenyan and give me hope when I am at my lowest. I would never dream of telling them lies. So to clear the air here are a few facts about my current and past location or abode.

- For security reasons it is not in my best interests to reveal my current location or when I moved there.

- Until last month, I lived in a certain Kenya town for over 8 months. Nairobi is not the only place to live in Kenya and besides it is also not the best place to gauge the true state of affairs in our beloved nation. Now when most Kenyans still live in rural areas.

- It is true that I have not been to Nairobi for about 3 years until last weekend. Didn’t miss anything did I?

- I have been away even longer from the Rift Valley.

- However I have my trusted people countrywide whom I am in constant touch with to guarantee my readers a very true picture of what is going on. I also visit many areas in Kenya on a regular basis, irrespective of where I may be based currently. So the comments I make about encounters are 1000% TRUE.

- Technological wonders like the mobile phone and the World Wide Web make it viable for me to write very authoritatively from almost any remote area of Kenya.

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Is The Weakest Link In The ODM Council Of Elders Fred Gumo?

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I have said this before and I say it again—Kenyans have very short memories.

When I first received news that the chairman of the so-called ODM council of Elders was one Fred Fidelis Gumo, I was shocked. Shocked because I know the guy. Hope do I know him? The way you get to know a public figure. Which is by their actions and antics, especially away from the political platform.

What would you say about a guy who walks into some back street bar and drinks with aides and then on being presented the bill, slaps the waiter and leaves without paying. His side of the story; the bill was incorrect. My assumption is that the reason that he did not even pay what he considered to be the correct bill was because he wanted to punish the waiter. Incidentally the bar where this happen was not very far from another bar that was made famous in the late sixties when a full cabinet minister got so drunk that they left some confidential government documents in some dingy bar where they were drinking. That man was James Gichuru. But at least the late Gichuru remembered to pay his bill before he left.

Now my question is, would you trust a person who can’t pay his bills at some dingy bar to help decide the next president of Kenya?

Hon Gumo’s stories don’t end there. There was a time (in 1997) I believe when a lady returning officer announced the results for the Westlands parliamentary seat in which she said Gumo had lost. In full view of witnesses, including journalists, Hon Gumo slapped the woman. Shortly after that different results were announced in which Hon Gumo had won. His famous slap has achieved much for this guy.

So what can you tell about such a person’s character?

There is a view that is gaining increasing currency that the recent so called leaking of confidential presidential documents happened with the full knowledge of Hon. Fred Fidelis Gumo.

And even if it did not, the buck stops at his chair.

I believe we all need to keep our young friend Jonathan Mueke, standing in Westlands against this guy in our prayers. (Read the interview he gave Kumekucha HERE). Mueke has said that he has a strategy to deal with his well-known violent tactics but anything can happen when this burly politician is around.

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Jeff Koinange Speaks Out For The First Time About Date Rape Allegation

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Former CNN Africa Bureau chief Jeff Koinange has broken his long silence and given an exclusive interview to a UK website where he denies the date rape allegations leveled against him. He also denies bribing anybody to get his infamous Niger Delta dramatic story.

However in what appears to be a contradiction, Jeff is quoted by the web site as saying; "I've let my wife down... I've let the people who care about what I do down." It is not clear exactly what the former CNN reporter, known to always choose his words carefully meant by this, but it seems to be an admission of the date rape that he denies in the same statement.

An interesting possible coincidence is the fact that the site is owned by a company whose non-executive chairman goes by the name of Mike Turner. The major shareholder of Jeff’s previous employer has a similar name in Ted Turner.

Read the full story HERE.

Read more evidence contradicting Jeff Koinange’s latest statement HERE

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Monday, June 25, 2007

Late Extra

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I have just received word that there was a young jobless man at the Hilton Bus Stop, Nairobi, this afternoon urging Kenyans to reject ALL current MPs in the forthcoming elections for pocketing Kshs 850,000 every month for the last 5 years while 85 per cent of Kenyans starved.

I am thinking of launching just such a campaign in this blog. What do you guys think?

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Where Is Kumekucha?

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My sincere and humble apologies to all my regular readers who have missed me since Friday. Sorry for any anxieties caused and let me assure you that I am fine and now truly back and at your service as always.

When I flew into Nairobi shortly before lunchtime (Kenyan time) last Friday, it was the first time I had been to the so-called city in the sun for over 3 years. I then ventured deep into the beautiful Rift Valley where I have been missing from, for even a longer stretch of time. Alas, I was not able to pause at the place called "View Point" to take in the magnificent floor of the Rift Valley because there was fog that was so thick that even Matatu drivers were not overtaking (can you believe that!! A matatu failing to overtake a slow moving vehicle ahead of it!!)

Part of my mission in the Rift Valley was to witness a young man from the Akamba community all the way from Machakos negotiating vigorously for a Kikuyu beauty to be his life partner. Truly there is hope for Kenya. One day love amongst all Kenyans will be completely blind of tribe. The man succeeded but not before some anxious moments including one dramatic point in the negotiations when the Kikuyu elders demanded a hefty five-figure fine because the man who had eloped with their daughter had taken too long to come and inform them of what was happening.

I cannot of course fail to mention the high point of the whole ceremony which was when the master of ceremonies asked both parties (at first a little nervous of each other) to sing the same song but in each other's language. That is the Kamba sang in Kikuyu and the Kikuyu sang in Kamba. Of course the Kikuyu find the Kamba language melodically amusing while the Kamba's sometimes have a problem with the heavy Kikuyu R's instead of the L's that they are more used to. Still it worked and it broke the ice. My only regret is that I did not have a video camera to capture the whole thing.

Sadly that is about the only good news I have to report from my trip. The rest is all bad news. Kenya is indeed on fire and all my worst fears regularly expressed here proved to be uncannily accurate. It became very clear to me that as we hurtle towards the rapidly approaching general elections, there is need for those who believe in prayer to double their efforts in asking for divine intervention to take our great but badly limping nation through a very difficult time.

I was fortunate enough to be chauffeured around very comfortably most of the time by people who had to make some sacrifices to make the whole thing possible (and for that I am very grateful to them). Still I did manage to enter a matatu or two (the best place to feel the pulse of Kenya, first-hand). I could not help noticing the desperate faces. The lack of smiles that I at least occasionally saw the last time I was here.

Hopefully the tree we planted deep in the heart of the great rift and for which you my dear readers had to sacrifice by persevering my absence for the whole weekend, will one day make its' small, tiny, contribution to the healing of Kenya.

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The Terrible Things Kenyans Will Do To Get To Parliament

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Financing Some Thugs To Cut Off Some Innocent Guy's Head For You To Get To Parliament Is No big deal

As I talked lots of politics with all those I met on my trip over the weekend (some of them very seasoned observers of Kenya for many years) it became clear to me that this time round there could be some major problems with the election ballot papers. The truth is that they will need some very clever designing to accommodate all the candidates. It is possible that in many constituencies we will have more than 50 parliamentary seat candidates.

The important question to ask here is; why has Kenyan politics, as dirty and murderous as it is, attracted so many? The answer should be obvious.

Being an MP gives you a monthly income of close to a cool million and numerous perks, including a free house and a duty-free car. Maybe Samuel Kivuitu should start a campaign with the following theme;

Jishindie Nyumba Ya Bure
na loan ya kununua Hummer.
Rarua mshahara ya karibu shillingi millioni moja, pesa taslimu.
Guaranteed for 5 long luxurious years.
Tafuta kiti ya Ubunge


Translation: Win a free house and a loan to purchase a Hummer. Get a salary of close to a million shillings guaranteed for 5 long luxurious years. Grab a parliamentary seat.

In other words numerous Kenyans countrywide are plotting on how to get to the August house come what may. Some will take huge loans and even bigger risks to get to parliament knowing full well that if they make it, life will never be the same again. Not for the folks they will be representing but for themselves.

You can see how the current proposed constitutional amendments have been designed to prolong "the honeymoon" of the current MPs into February next year. They don't even mind delaying the elections so that they continue reaping the fruits of being an MP in Kenya for as long as possible.

So where does that leave the ordinary Kenyan desperate for change, desperate for something to cling on as hope for the future?

But even more worrying is the fact that this desperation to get to parliament will help contribute to what I have long predicted will be the most violent general election in the history of Kenya. The first time I made that prediction over 6 months ago, I really upset a lot of you who labeled me a warmonger. I wonder what you will say this time when all I said then is unfolding right before our very eyes—not that I am happy about it.

Let us be brutally honest here. With the kind of perks waiting for MPs in parliament, many parliamentary aspirants will not hesitate to commit murder to get rid of any perceived obstacle to their objectives.

Indeed this is already happening. Some months ago a curious murder was reported but ignored by most, which took place close to the heart of Machakos town. Well-dressed men entered the house of a man who was widely tipped to be the next MP of the area and engaged the wife in a friendly conversation. Some of their colleagues waited at the gate of the home. When the owner of the house arrived from work, he was shot dead and the men left without taking any cash, although they had earlier asked the man's wife for the six cell phones they knew were in the house, probably to distract her from their real mission. Nobody has been charged in connection to this particular murder to this day.

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Friday, June 22, 2007

Countdown Elections 2007: It Is The Season Of The Political Entrepreneurs

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Did you know that Kenya boasts of professional campaigners. Yes, people who lie low and quite and then emerge every 5 years to earn some fabulous incomes helping barely electable people get elected.

I am reliably informed that we even have International players who completely took advantage of a certain prominent presidential candidate. The guy who was telling me this story exaggerated it a little and added much spices (what would life be without a little spice) that made me laugh.

He says that this presidential candidate almost swooned when he saw “mzungus” sweating on his behalf in a room full of TV sets tuned to different TV stations and people trying hard to “look busy” making print outs of so-called political and voter analysis. He was overheard telling an impressed parliamentary colleague; “this is my think tank,” (pointing to the mzungus

Sadly after 4 years of this think tank where this candidate must have spent a fortune of hi later father's money, what does the candidate have to show for it? Zilch in my opinion.

The problem of course is that mzungus don’t understand Kenyan politics that is why one wrote in the Financial Times of London that Kibaki will easily be re-elected. These are the times I feel like borrowing words from some of the most abusive commentators in this blog.

I would prefer a local think tank any time.

Incidentally I know a guy who was member of the legendary Moi think tank. He was as local as they get and that team (paid peanuts) did some amazing work getting Moi elected in 1992 and 1997. Of course they also played dirty and did many crazy things inluding the famous Kanu briefs where they dug up dirt about certain key challengers and published it in that newspaper. Dirt sells and the Kenya Times, I am told had sales surging. And I believe the candidate in question lost credibility because they ended up third, after Kenneth Matiba in 1992.

But they also got it wrong in a way. Because that time they concentrated on attacking Mwai Kibaki only for the upstart maverick Kenneth Matiba to energe from nowhere to be the major challenger. There are those who believe (including this blogger) that Kennneth Matiba won the presidential elections in 1992.

Well, let all those professional campaigners and think tank consultants emerge out of the woodwork and make their money. Although it will be much harder this time round with an electorate that has wisened up considerably.

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Intruder Hacks Into Marianne Brinner’s Site And Changes Content

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Marianne Brinner is my friend and I have no apologies to make for that. I do not find it funny that some hacker could take advantage and find a way to hack into her site. These are the “animals” we live with in cyberspace who must be strongly condemned.

Here I reproduce a statement from her explaining the whole situation…


Statement From Marianne Brinner

I know that there are many rumours circulating since the access-address of my blog Distantlovers.blog.com/ had been mentioned in media-reports and statements around the world and when people wanted to enter had to find out that this name is now referring to a somewhat funny blog which even looks quite pornographic.

The reason is quite simple: I first thought that somebody had taken advantage of the publicity of my blog and when I deleted it for just 2 days, registered his own blog under the same address.

But I have been told in the meantime that this matter is quite different: somebody has 'hacked' into my blog, published some funny things and is now occupying my space and name.

Blog.com has offered to find a solution and has registered my blog under a slightly different name. So take note: it is now http://distant-lovers.blog.com/ (difference: this 'dash' in between).

I have already sent a new post informing people that I am at the moment putting together all the details for a book on the whole Jeff-Koinange-Saga which will come out in the States either at the end of July or at the very latest at the beginning of August.

I will also continue publishing some details in my blog. So please look out for it.

I hope that this will serve to erase any question and doubts - I wish to apologize for any inconvenience and hope that this will not happen again .......

Marianne Briner


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Thursday, June 21, 2007

Much Talked About Third Force Takes Shape As Kalonzo Tours Mukuru Slums Hand In Hand With Uhuru

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It could not have happened at a better time. Now those of you who were laughed off and jeered when you shared the Kumekucha analysis on the forthcoming elections have your chance for revenge because chances are that you will meet those guys who laughed at you this weekend.

The news is that Kumekucha has been vindicated and the third force is taking shape right before our very eyes.

Uhuru has now said it all in a thinly veiled threat that was loaded like crazy. He said that even he can form a new alliance if ODM does not play ball. And then we see him tour the Mukuru slums hand in hand with one Kalonzo Musyoka. An interesting aside here is that these slums in the heart of Industrial area, Nairobi have Mukuru Kwa Njenga, Mukuru Kwa Ruben, Mukuru Kwa Ng’anga etc. Interesting names don’t you think?

Anyway, during the tour Kalonzo (always the fence seater, to the last minute makes some good noises in favor of ODM-Kenya) so what was he doing with a Kanu guy at this eleventh hour in the game?

Mark my words, if you want to be a good political analyst, listen to politicians but always digest their utterances with a good pinch of salt and try and read between the lines and always remember that their actions speak much louder than any words they may utter.

But in all my analysis I overlooked one possibility that became very clear yesterday. That Kalonzo’s party (still in the briefcase but soon to emerge) would form an alliance with Kanu rather than Kalonzo having to troop back to “mama na baba.” Let me also remind you all before I forget that the person who first predicted a Kalonzo-Kanu alliance right here in this blog was Kalamari and he deserves to be credited for it. He saw it coming even before I did.

Just to remind you of my earlier analysis, this Kanu coalition/pre-election alliance actually will be the one to watch, because it has positioned itself perfectly to benefit both from the inevitable fall out in ODM and the one in Narc-Kenya. Of course it is strictly not Kanu because it is clear that remnants of Kanu will remain in ODM led by one William Ruto. Now this gets really interesting because word on the street is that Musalia is in this Uhuru alliance while Ngilu will join forces with ODM-Kenya. The reason why I say it is interesting is because Mudavadi’s action means that the Luhya vote will be split three ways with each of the three parties getting something. Ngilu’s action means that the Kamba vote will mostly be split two ways—one half each to both ODM and Narc-Kenya. This is a wonderful thing because it will greatly dilute tribal tensions, emotions, sentiments and voting patterns and force most of the electorate in the affected areas to analyze the candidates individually rather than based on their tribes. This is great news for Kenya.

The mover and shaker and chief strategist behind all this is of course “Baba Gidi”. Ignore this mzeeat your own peril.

Of course the big and very exciting question is can this “contraption” wrest away victory from ODM-Kenya?

Now I hear you ask; Why didn’t I mention Narc Kenya? The reason is that this Uhuru “contraption” is Narc Kenya’s worst nightmare. Whatever armchair analysts say, the Mungiki thing has greatly dented the president’s support in certain areas of Central province especially the expansive Kiambu and parts of Nairobi. The re-entry of Uhuru as a major player in the forthcoming elections can only make things worse. The truth is that most of the votes that Narc Kenya loses will go to the Uhuru alliance. Let me also remind you all that I believe the presidential candidate in the Uhuru alliance will be one Kalonzo Musyoka.

If we can keep violence out of it, there is no doubt that is going to be one of the most exciting political contests in the history of Kenya. It is just sad that we will be mostly recycling the same two-timing greedy two-faced politicians back into office though.


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Site Tells Mungiki Story Better Than Anybody Else

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The Kenyanlist site has done something that no other site has been able to do. That is to bring to us the reality of the crack down on Mungiki in pictures. Pictures speak a thousand words and the amazing quality photographs on this site have done just that.

I have said it here before that the people who have suffered most from the Mungiki crackdown are innocent Kenyans whose only crime was to be poor and have to live in areas like Mathare. I reproduce some of the photographs here but please follow the link below and visit the site for yourself for more pictures that tell the story I have been trying so hard to tell here in so many words. Just ask yourself what if it were you and your loved ones, your mum etc.?

These photographs need no captions;







See more pictures at original site

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Wednesday, June 20, 2007

What Were The Intended Objectives Of The Leaked Dossier?

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Was The Leaked Dossier Itself “Cooked” To Achieve Certain Objectives?

Yesterday I gave you the views of my better half but today I will move on to mine. This is concerning the so-called leaked ODM dossier.

Let us start by agreeing that voting patterns have changed significantly since 2002 and to base any research on how Kenyans have voted in the past is a little dangerous. I believe that voters have grown much wiser in leaps and bounds since the times of "Kibaki tosha."

Secondly I agree with the readers who say here that the figures were "cooked". As they say, figures can be used and "tweaked" to prove anything. More so where it is claimed that William "YK’92" Ruto is at number 2 in the projected presidential votes.

What makes me even more suspicious is the fact that the latest Steadmann polls already in the hands of newspaper editors have not been released. Is there anybody putting pressure on them not to release them? According to my sources, the latest poll puts Raila Odinga at No 2 after the incumbent. KM is of course at Number 3. Still as I have often said here before, something about the Steadmann polls made me lose faith in them early on and I am yet to change my position on this (if ever).

I wonder what it did to Ruto to see his name at number 2 on the much publizised dossier published on the front page of the Sunday Nation? I mean the figures would suggest that he was just a breath away from the presidency. I am sure he dreamt of long motorcades with motorcycles riding next to his limousine. What would he not do now to win the ODM-Kenya nomination?

Interestingly in view of the 40:40:20 rule in ODM-Kenya (which gurantees Kanu a 40% share of the party), there is just an outside chance that if the delegates system were to be used, Ruto on paper would look like he has a decent chance of winning, especially in the absense of his party chairman Uhuru Kenyatta. But in the game of politics what is on paper is almost always very different from the reality of things.

I also agree that the buck stops with Hon Fred Gumo as far as the alleged leaking of the report is concerned.

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What Is The Role Of NSIS In An Election Year?

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Many readers here have repeatedly stated that removing an incumbent from power in Africa is very difficult.

One of the reasons why this is so true is because the presidential team has the benefit of intelligence reports from the shadowy NSIS (National Security Intelligence Services) which covers the entire country.

As you read this the incumbent has a pretty good idea of the possible voting patterns on the ground in every constituency in the country. In other words taxpayers are paying for President Kibaki’s campaign.

This is one of the reasons why predictions sometimes are so difficult to believe. I now have two different sources who have predicted that the incumbent will lose these elections. One is a man whose predictions have been spot on since ‘92.

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Kumekucha appreciates Vikii

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Vikii my man thank you for your considerate remarks on Mrs Kumekucha. I will share them with her when I see her next and I am sure they will bring a smile on her face. As for the man who left an abusive comment while hiding under the shadow of being anonymous, I would like to say that I have left the comment intact as a constant reminder to all of us about the many cowards walking around in trousers.

My view is that Vikii’s comment is a perfect example of mature debate where you can disagree without being offensive and thus leave room to get your points across. I keep on repeating that this is precisely the reason that made the Greeks such a great nation and it is something we Kenyans must learn.

Having said that I am grateful to all you frequent readers and commentators in this blog, because we have come a long way and today it is a joy for anybody to read most of the non-abusive and very well thought out positions expounded here, which quite often overshadow the main post. Hongera Wandunga na wadada wangu.

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Tuesday, June 19, 2007

What Mrs Kumekucha Thinks Of The Leaked ODM presidential Analysis

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My wife hates politics with a passion and rarely wants to discuss it. Which would sound a little strange to most of you readers out there who know me as the political animal who talks politics here daily. I guess the thing about like poles repelling and opposites attracting in romantic relationships is so true because one of the things I have been blessed with is an amazingly happy marriage. I've now been married for slightly over 20 years. We've had our ups and downs of course (especially in the early years) but today I look back at one of the best decisions I ever made in my life.

Now a few minutes ago my wife was doing the unthinkable-discussing politics with me. She had a warning for me (this is a private conversation and you should censor a lot of it if you are going to write about it in that blog of yours.) Still let me share with you a little of what she had to say;

The Sunday Nation controversial ODM analysis that computes possible votes with each of the presidential candidates is 1000 per cent accurate because of one obvious fact that nobody wants to discuss. Very few Kikuyus would vote for Raila Odinga no matter how good he is. And Kikuyu influence is strong in the country in virtually all provinces and no candidate can afford to ignore it. To put it in her words; "It would take God for Raila Odinga to be president of Kenya." (Coming from my wife that is a very heavy statement because she is a Kikuyu from Kiambu and she is the sort of person who treasures facts over hearsay. Incidentally she always says journalists-including her husband publish too much hearsay and very little in the way of facts. Anyway, long time readers of this blog will know why most Kikuyus have this unfortunate attitude towards Raila. It really isn't their fault. Many younger Kenyans who were not around then hate it when I say this but IT IS A FACT and I am going to say it yet again. The reason is the years of deliberate anti-Luo propaganda by the Kenyatta administration.)

The reason why the United States is such a powerful and successful nation today can be traced back to its' foundation. The nation had a very firm foundation as a Christian nation and there have been many presidents who were born-again Christians (including the current one President George W. Bush). Our country, Kenya needs a serious born again Christian President to steer the nation in the way of God almighty. "Righteousness exalts a nation…" The moral decay and godlessness we see in America today will lead to her downfall.

Even American presidents who were not born-again Christians looked to God for strength, answers and solutions to pressing problems. She gives the example of the curse believed to have been instigated by the Native Red Indians of America which caused every president elected in a year ending with zero to die in office right from the 1800s. The long list of presidents who elected in a year ending with zero dying in office includes famous assassinated presidents Abraham Lincoln (elected 1860) and President John F. Kennedy elected in 1960. However the curse was broken during the Reagan administration when he invited well-known servants of God including deliverance ministry and curse experts like Derek Prince into the White House. They advised the president accordingly and the curse was broken and just in time too because Reagan himself was elected in 1980 and shortly after the curse was broken, there was an attempt on his life which he survived only because the curse had been broken. (Check out the facts yourself, there is a search engine box on this page at the top.) In the same way, the current Kenyan president and the next one should seek divine help because many of the problems facing the nation today can only be solved with a lot of help from God.

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Why All ODM Supporters Should Read William Shakespeare's Julius Caesar

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As I have said so many times the stakes this time round are very high. But to make matters worse, chances are pretty high that the next occupant of State house will be from a party called ODM-Kenya.

And this is the reason why all ODM-Kenya supporters should read William Shakespeare's classic political play Julius Caesar. Even those who have read it should re-read it to stay alert to the machinations and serious back-stabbing that has been going on within ODM for a long time now.

Let us use this classic play to explain to you exactly what recently happened at ODM that resulted in a highly confidential presidential campaign research document ending up as the front-page splash of the Sunday Nation. The research showed computed votes that each ODM presidential candidate was bound to receive in the event that they won the ODM presidential ticket. Fr hose who missed the story the presidential candidates ranked as follows in order of projected votes;

Kalonzo Musyoka - 53.4% (Win for ODM)
William Ruto - 50.8% (Win for ODM)
Raila Odinga - 50.5% (Win for ODM)
Uhuru Kenyatta - 48.6% (Loss for ODM)
Musalia Mudavadi - 47.4% (Loss for ODM)


Here is the short play to illustrate what happened recently;

Cast

(Main characters)
Julius Caesar: Raila Odinga
Mark Anthony: Kalonzo Musyoka
Brutus: Certain prominent Luo leader within ODM
Main schemer: Prominent ODM personality (not a presidential candidate).



Scene one;
(Schemers are meeting at a secret location)
Main Schemer: We need you to help us out with this plan. You know that if Julius Caesar stands for President we will lose because there will be a split in the party. You also know that he is adamant that he is the only one who deserves the crown.

Brutus: I am aware. I will help you, but what do I get in return?

Main schemer: Don't worry I promise that you will be taken care of.

Brutus: Get serious. Are you trying to do an MOU on me?

Main schemer: Okay. There will be some cash compensation.

Brutus: Plus a cabinet post. If you renege I will send minutes of this meeting to Kumekucha, should make for some very interesting reading.

Main schemer: You have a deal. Who is this Kumekucha guy anyway? Okay I know your contacts with the press are pretty good that is one of the reasons why we chose you. Just remember that it is important that nothing is traced back to us.

Brutus: So what is the objective?

Main schemer: The whole idea is to use figures. Kenyans now really believe in them after the Steadmann polls.

Brutus: You expect these figures to cause Julius Caesar to give up the crown?

Main schemer: Are you an amateur in politics or what. In this game things don't happen suddenly. This will just be the beginning of our putting pressure on Caesar to give up the crown for the candidate most likely to deliver victory and power to us. And also the candidate that will be easiest for us to control and manipulate. Caesar is too strong-headed. When the people see that he is a distant Number three and that Mark Anthony is actually much more popular than him, even some of his staunchest supporters will start to have doubts. All we need is for them to have doubts. Our second and third phase of the plan will do the rest.

Brutus: Now about that cash…




Scene Two:

Rome is in shock as Sunday Nation article reveals "research findings" on top presidential candidates and claims; "ODM strategists secretly back Mark Anthony..."



Scene Three:
(Caesar is on his cell phone with Brutus)

Julius Caesar: It is me Agwambo.
Brutus
: Hello Mr President.
Julius Caesar: (Very angry) Don't Mr President Me, you backstabbing Ondieki (Hyena).
Brutus: Now what is the problem, Agwambo?
Julius Caesar: Have you read today's Sunday Nation?
Brutus: What in particular.
Julius Caesar: Just answer my question.
Brutus: (nervous) I was going to call you.
Julius Caesar: Cut the cr** Brutus. I am just shocked beyond words that you would help my enemies.
Brutus: What are you talking about?
Julius Caesar: I know my enemies well, but I never imagined in all my worst nightmares that… Even you Brutus? Then let Caesar say that he has no friends.

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Monday, June 18, 2007

Is New Crime Wave In Malindi Linked To Mungiki?

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A curious incident occurred in Malindi on Saturday night. Thugs attacked some premises and after shooting a night watchman, felt it necessary to also slash them on the face as well, before they damped the body into a nearby swimming pool.

What attracted my attention to this incident are reports that I have been receiving from my reliable informants in the Coast region who say that Mungiki remnants fleeing from Nairobi have pitched camp in areas of Mtwapa and there have even been a few incidents where they have extorted cash in the area for "protection". Mtwapa is the North Coast dead on the road to Malindi. I have been asking myself all day, could there be a link between the sharply increased crime in Malindi and the reports of Mungiki-like strangers in the region? I pray not.

Another area where numerous Munigiki adherents are hiding out is the Mariakani area, also in Coast province.

I pray that I am wrong and that the information I have received is somehow exaggerated. Either that or the security forces should move with lightning speed and nip in the bud any sign of Mungiki trouble at the Coast province. Those who understand the coastal region will know that the area is too sensitive at the moment with increased extreme poverty and impatient, jobless youths. Any Mungiki activities just now would be akin to throwing down a burning cigarette onto a floor that is already flooded with petrol.

Which brings me to the next question. Are the police and our intelligence services aware of where remnants of Mungiki fled to? And if so what are they doing to pre-empt any ugly resurgence of what we saw in Kiambu? The reason I ask is that too many times this current government and the security agents under its; command have been caught flat-footed. The result is that we have constantly and repeatedly found ourselves in situations of crisis management, and yet all the trouble would have been so easily avoided had action been taken earlier.

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Is Killing Of Kenyan policemen In Somalia Linked To Bomb Attack?

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In yet another curious incident, two Kenyan policemen were abducted and later found dead in Somalia close to the Kenyan border. Some people believe that it was remnants of the Islamic courts militia who fled Mogadishu who were responsible for the muirders. It seems to have been some sort of revenmge attack against Kenya.

The truth is that Kenya has made plenty of enemies in recent times and this incident is worth taking a closer look at in view of the recent Nairobi bombing incident.

There are some enemies one cannot avoid making. However it is worth asking why Kenya has no clear foreign policy to date. Incidentally this is one of the things that Mwai Kibaki's opposition criticized the Moi regime for promising to put the foreign department in order if and when they took over the reigns of power. Will they did take over in 2002 and ended up adopting Moi's policy on the matter.

Having no foreign policy is akin to being a neighbor who is unpredictable and does not appear to have a clear idea of who they are and what they stand for. One day they ask you turn on the music high because they like your taste in music, the very next day they complain to authorities that you are a nuisance in the neighborhood.

The next government needs to have a very clear foreign policy which they can explain to the public and one which we can all understand.

Back to the killing of the policemen. Happening at about the same time as the bomb attack, one can’t help wondering whether they may just be related.

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Controversial Predictions On Kenya Elections 2007 Available Only Via Email

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It may be difficult to imagine it, but there are some articles that are just too hot and controversial to publish even in this blog that has built quite a reputation.

A good example of this is a widely circulated email containing some astounding predictions on the winners and losers in the forthcoming general elections. There are some predictions contained in it that are just too sensitive to publish here. However you can get a complete copy of the widely circulated-via-email predictions by subscribing to my popular weekly email newsletter Kumekucha Confidential. It is free and all you have to do is send an email Now to:
kumekucha-subscribe@yahoogroups.com

You will have to reply to the automated response to confirm your subscription.

Naturally if you are already a subscriber, you do not need to subscribe again.

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Kumekucha Being Read In Matatus

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Today I received a message from a Kenyan residing in Tanzania telling me that he is an avid reader of this blog and read yesterday's posts on a web-enabled mobile phone while traveling in a "dala dala" (that's what they call matatus in Tanzania). He said that he especially enjoyed yesterday's amusing post about private telephone conversations in public places.

While Internet-enabled phones are a very common phenomenon in the West, I must admit that I was a little taken aback that it should be available in Africa and inside a matatu at that. Alas, these are just part of the rapid technological advances in which we now find ourselves in and which most of us can hardly keep up with.

Interestingly not too long ago the then CEO of a locally based web business predicted that the time is nigh when people in a matatu will all be busy surfing the net on their way home or to work.

Let me admit that I seriously considered editing out that part of the interview article at the time, because to me this was just too wild a possibility that would surely not happen in the next two decades at least and by then, who knows if Matatus will still be around? Somebody recently gave me a very convincing thesis of how we will all be flying around in some rocket-propelled personal gadgets. Wow!!

It seems that I was very wrong about the "surfing-in-matatus" prediction because it is in fact already happening and it is only a matter of time before it becomes much more widespread. Remember how cell phones used to cost Kshs 250,000 the first time they arrived in Kenya and could only be owned by prominent thieves of public funds and corruption czars? Now mobile phones are a basic necessity even for mama mboga..

However I foresee a few problems. We all know what kind of sites most schoolboys and men visit (a friend insists that the line dividing the two is too thin for comfort hence the similarities in bizarre tastes). Can you imagine the explicit images of people in various positions of the act and the moans and "animal noises" that go with it filling a matatu where at least half the occupants are drunk and trying to get home? It's not a pretty picture I can assure you.

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Saturday, June 16, 2007

Predictions On Election Results Against What Is Happening Behind The Scenes

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Last night 2002 presidential elections runner up Uhuru Kenyatta officially pulled out of the ODM presidential nominations by missing the deadline to present his nomination papers.

Readers of Kumekucha can't have been too surprised at this development. It is just further confirmation that Kanu has different plans for the forthcoming elections even as ODM insiders struggle to ensure that the oldest political party in the land remains within ODM.

The ODM high command hastily accepted the 40:40:20 demand from Kanu and immeditately welcomed two more Kanu members into the highest decision making body of the party. The demand by Kanu that they field their own parliamentary and civic candidates was however rejected. If you remember this demand was at the core of Uhuru's damands because, as he put it, Kanu has to retain its' identity and not get swallowed up by this giant animal called ODM.

So! What next?

It seems that it will be difficult for Kanu to avoid splitting into two different camps. Those who will remain in ODM and those who will go back to "mama na baba." Any possible coalitions will only be formed after the elections and after the constitution has been amended to allow for them.

It seems that the splinter group that will remain in Kanu will be led by William Ruto and the one that will leave will be led by Uhuru Kenyatta. The big question analysts are now asking is which group will be more powerful?

Now I know that I am talking to a lot of ODM diehard supporters, but ladies and gentlemen let us put away our party affiliations and emotions for now and analyze the situation coldly. By the way, that is the only way you can get to be a good political analyst because this is really not the place to drum up support for your preferred presidential candidate.

To answer the question I have just asked, we need to look at Rift Valley soberly. Who will stick with Moi and Uhuru and who will go with Ruto? To be honest that is a very difficult question but I think it is fair to agree with what most analysts say, which is that Moi and Uhuru's group will consist mostly of older Kalenjins and will be weaker. This had better be true because after the Narc and ODM nominations are completed, Kanu will gain a lot of strength from the rebels who will come trooping in from both sides of the divide. Actually whatever you think of Kanu, those guys are smart. That is why they exploited and robbed us blind for over 40 years. Kanu has positioned itself perfectly to gain a lot of power from both Narc and ODM.

Let me remind you of what happened in 2002. It is a fact that many of the defections from Kanu that year could not stand NAK (The Kibaki-Wamalwa-Ngilu axis.) However they had no problem joining Raila's LDP. Just think of many prominent parliamentary candidates who may end up missing nominations in either Narc-Kenya or ODM. The vast majority will not be comfortable crossing to the other party and anyway those parties will already have completed their nomination process. Mark my words, Kanu nominations will be carried out last and they have the perfect excuse, because the circus in ODM and Narc Kenya will continue until the 11th hour which will be the perfect timing for Kanu to withdraw and go it alone.


N.B. At least two separate predictions so far (one from a pastor and genuine man of God who has always got it right since 1992) say that President Kibaki will lose the forthcoming elections. However it is the second prophecy which has been widely circulated via email and is from a man I don't know which has caught the eye of many. According to that prediction the presidential race this time will be very close between two candidates (President Kibaki not included) that it will be difficult to say who the winner will be. But even more interesting, they predict that Kanu will re-emerge as a very strong political force. The political situation currently is very fluid and anything can happen, but this prediction seems to confirm what is going on currently behind the scenes with Kanu, which I have reported here, in great detail.

I know there are a lot of you guys out there who are rabid Kanu-haters but it seems that this will be the party to watch, at least now and for the next few months.


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