Followers

Thursday, July 30, 2009

The Hague Watch: Impunity Seeking Immunity


Nothing exemplifies a failed state better than a fractious cabinet. Here we have one theoretical cabinet with three camps of preferences: The Hague, local tribunal with powers to try anyone (read no sacred cows/immunity) and the latest kid on the block TJRC. It couldn’t get any spicier.

Impunity begets nothing but more impunity. We sowed it and must reap the bloody fruits. The three options clearly indicate the variants of selfish interest each group prefers with the intention of fixing perceived and real political opponents. The NOBODY-MOVES-NOBODY-GETS-HURT mentality is a selfishly smart scheme with all eyes singularly trained on magical 2012. Power to the moneyed.

Going in circles only succeed in making you dizzy. So now we are back to where Annan left us by declaring that the government is committed to undertaking ACCELERATED and far-reaching reforms as spelt out in Agenda Four. Play another original tune please!

The present costly pretence amounts to motions with no intention to cause any movement. We can as well enjoy the beauty of every floor on our way down from the top oblivious of the hard pavement (read 2012) waiting to crack our collective skull. Make no mistake January 2013 will be bloody and messy.

Only scoundrels seek complicated solutions to simple problems. The creators of 2007 mess wont own up neither will they give up. They had a mission they have to accomplish and no amount of pressure or blood will make them halt. And they have cleverly roped us in when we now join them in discussing the effects with no mention of the CAUSE.

Impunity-immunity tango dance
Living a national lie may never kill but the cost is incalculable. Give it to President Kibaki in leading from the front when he reprimands nosy journalist by shamelessly declaring that nobody has abandon the pursuit of local tribunal because that imagining was never created in the first place.

The standards of ICC are very clear. The present circular games will no wash. Whether we go local tribunal or Hague, the bar is raised and seekers of immunity and power of clemency have no place to hide. The guilty are afraid and who is scared to being stripped of immunity?

Mutula promised one Moreno Ocampo that Kenya will set up a credible judicial mechanism. What is more, the High Court option peddled by the cabinet is outside Waki’s recommendations of the Waki Commission. Both ways the noose is tightening and the dithering only succeeds in massaging egos.

Once you lose the moral authority, you never regain with fiat or bravado. The cabinet is rudderless and they know it. The fractious bunch are only fooling themsleves in attempt to circumvent an equally hostile parliament.

In the meantime the clock is ticking fast and furiously to 2012. Ole wetu, NA BADO.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Hague Express Watch:Migingo Going To Court


International court season is here in full swing.The corridors of justice in Netherlands never anticipated they would be this busy playing host to contingents of East Africans seeking to settle human rights and real estate disputes all in the same year.

Now that Uganda is going to the Hague because of us, Kenya will be making a second appearance at the International Courts this time on the grounds of being a bad neighbour reneging on a joint survey agreement with our East African brothers. Hague prosecutors will happily switch sides both for and against Kenya depending on whether post election violence trials or Kenya v Uganda lands first in the docket

Political Mileage
Contrary documentation not withstanding, the populist remark made by President Kibaki during his Narc-nostalgic magic tour of Nyanza last week has shown the landlocked relative that Kenya is finally ready to lead from the front and by example on the unresolved matter of the island's true ownership even if the statement made was only for extra political mileage

The appointed Ugandan survey team has to be forgiven for postponing the start of the joint exercise to seek further consultations beforehand while the Kenyan team went ahead and made a start on the same assuming that such an important survey would have to have a preliminarily report carried out before the main course begun

Kenyans ever increasing faith in the Hague as the just and independent arbiter to help resolve disputes future is set to get a further big boost with this latest twist in the two countries ownership disagreement.

Never underestimate the power of FISH sourced fresh from Migingo and served under tent in Bondo. Yote Yawezekana na Hague in all her shades, border disputes and ICC.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Ruto’s U-turn: Mau Pressure Hits Critical Mass

Arap Ruto must have seen it coming. The mob ganging against him was growing bigger by the day and he was destined to go only one direction, down. But given his numerous somersaults this July he didn’t mind joining the choir ordering settlers of Mau out.

And the present Mau heat has engaged creative conspiracy theories from overtly political Kenyans. While some are now begrudgingly supporting Raila’s resolve to solve Mau no matter the political cost, other are gleefully crafting his political eulogy.

The Mau crisis provides a platform to prove true leadership. We can now compare and contrast doers and fence sitters who wake up from their slumberland only to fire a junior purchasing officer for cheap buy PR on expensive limos.

You have to give the devil his dues when Ntimama comes out unequivocally and declares that Mau must be conserved at whatever cost, political or otherwise.

Devil's dues
True Kenyan style we are comfortable playing politics with such grave issues that will only bequeath desert to our future generation. Expect more fireworks from the fractious cabinet tomorrow.

Shameless extortionists will continue demanding their last pound of political flesh. In the mix are marinated tribal alliances that leave all here waxing like original pundits.

The heat may intensify and acquirer a different colour when Jomo Junior arrives in town from the US. His press release was a tip of a massive iceberg. He knows his boss is a sitting duck without feathers and contradicting can as well be the default mode to advance moribund KK alliance. Na bado.

Monday, July 27, 2009

Mau and Hague Kicks Massive Political Storm

No surprises every Kenyan has all over a sudden turned into an opinionated environmentalist. That is typical Kenyan modus operandi of waxing knowledgeable and patriotic when expedient.

Granted, there is no doubt Mau destruction is more than a crisis. The encroachment never stated yesterday but the concern heightened when the effects hit us home and hard in our kitchens and bathrooms.

Poor Mau settlers are just pawns caught in the political cross hairs. Moi was not smart enough to buy elite political support by auctioning Kenya. Instead he settled for basic indivisible need of survival - peasantry.

Following Moi’s whistle, the vultures landed in Mau scavenging for every arable carcass. They curved choicest large pieces for themselves which they registered under phantom companies. In the meantime token parcels were dished out to the real settlers to create a resemblance of equity and honesty.

The ruinous Moi would have known better investment in lucrative business with the state and Arabs. Grabbing Grand Regency at least leaves water flowing in Nairobi taps. Now with the poisonous effects of past impunity hitting our taps, the pain if personal and all the fake environmentalists are all out of the woodwork foaming at the mouth.

Rotten head down
With our shameless penchant to live collective national lies, we conveniently fail to read the REAL POLITCS masked in the present Mau debate. Forget the Bondo fish lunch that only succeeded in expanding political egos in effort cool the Hague heat.

We respectfully flagged the free fall in 2007 and Kenya will never be the same again. The cabinet is dutifully pulling in opposite direction secure in the knowledge the edifice is rotten from the head down.

Ours is doublespeak immortalized. While on one hand people are waxing triumphant on new tribal alliances, Ruto cannot afford to exploit the MORALLESS and fractious government to advance his selfish political schemes. He is only doing exactly just like the others by fighting tooth and nail to retain his tribal lordship tag.

Nobody knows much about land in Kenya than the DPM Uhuru Kenyatta and he made it known all the way from US where he is on official duty. He couldn’t wait to strike it hot by reminding all and sundry about compensation. Speak of wolves drafting constitution to govern herd of goats.

And UK is in good company. The measured, peaceful and God-fearing VP joined the campaign calling for full compensation of settlers relocated from Mau Forest. Any politician will be left salivating at the Rift Valley vote basket no matter the price. Game 2012 is on.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Something Important Happened in Bondo...So Do We still Need The Hague?

That lunch was good. When Ida's food is on the table, you always wanna be there.

But it wasn't the lunch that was important. It was the fact that it took place deep in Luo Nyanza. The easy and cordial atmosphere within which it took place made it even more significant. But again, all those will mean nothing if that critical gesture by Raila is not reciprocated by Kibaki and the community he comes from.

Admittedly, it will largely be upon Raila to woo the Kikuyu community, make that community comfortable with his style of leadership and temperament. But it will also be up to the Kikuyu to watch Raila's steps and evaluate soberly whether he is someone they can vote for and eventually support his presidency. The past, where he was dismissed merely because he didn't come from the House of Mumbi, should firmly be behind us. That is why I think something important happened in Bondo. I think a new chapter, one that must be guarded by our brothers from the Lake and those from the Hill, was opened.

So what's the way forward?

Mau Forest

Just last week I lamented the fact that Raila seemed to be the only one concerned about the Mau. It seemed like a set up. To hear Kibaki come out resolutely about the Mau was truly refreshing. And though Michuki's colonial style approach to issues sometimes scares the hell out of me, I agree with him that there can be no backing down on this critical matter. Let the government find a humane but firm way to move those who occupy that zone. Ruto and company must be told in no uncertain terms that we will not tie a noose around our necks for political expediency.

The Hague

This is where Raila and Kibaki are still on the wrong side of an issue. By a wide margin, the Kenyans who want perpetrators and enablers of the post-poll violence tried at the Hague have spoken. What Kenyans are saying is that we have no faith in the Gicheru-led Judiciary. And not only that. We also have no faith in our other institutions as presently constituted. Does that mean we will forever be skeptical of these institutions? By no means. It means when they are streamlined and can act with credibility, we will have faith in them again. So let the camaraderie that started in Bondo, and must spread through the nation, not blind us. We must punish those among us who committed acts that led to massive deaths. That's why the Hague is the choice of most Kenyans to accomplish this goal.

The TJRC

I would have dismissed this thing as a waste of time, but something tells me it may end up doing some good if given a chance. With the humility of a man who understands the fragile nature of his past, Ambassador Kiplagat has asked Kenyans to support his team. I will do so for now. In the long run it may turn out that this TJRC thing is a waste of everybody's time. When that time comes, the support Kenyans may give it will slowly erode. What I find curious is this habit of always dismissing people, calling them names when they are appointed. Can Muite show us a Kenyan without blemish so we can appoint them? Can Koigi show us such a woman? We've all done things that we wish we never did in the past. If Ambassador Kiplagat learned from his mistake and past associations and wants to use his experience to heal this nation...give the man a chance.

Migingo

The President finally came out and declared that Migingo belongs to Kenya. He couldn't have picked a better venue to make this dramatic statement. With those few words, what President Kibaki did was tell the folks from his Prime Minister's backyard that he listens to their concerns. Since this matter has not been resolved with Uganda yet, it helps to know that the commander-in-chief will do whatever it takes to protect the sovereignty of Kenya.

Does this Mean We've Turned a Corner?

Folks, how we handle ourselves from now on will largely determine whether a corner has been turned or not. Relations are nurtured, they don't just happen. So let's give the TJRC a chance, let the Hague punish the evildoers, let the President and Prime Minister take their friendship from Bondo to every corner of this nation, and let's worry about the Kenya we turn over to our kids by taking care of the Mau Forest situation. Should we do this...and fix that colonial constitution that perpetually fails to protect our collective interests...I'll say we've turned a corner.

And it will be said Kenya was reborn in Bondo.

How sweet!

Kibaki-Raila's Lunch: Eating Cooked Goose


The two principals are walking the talk. Wait a minute, whose talk? We have seen it before and only in Kenya where memory goes comatose at the sight of tribal alliances. Raila should count his stars that he managed to pull Kibaki when Muthaura was recuperating.

These two guys are simply preying onto Narc's nostalgic magic. Well, Narc came with the same goodwill until the real power barons redefined the parameters. Serial liars have no shame and woe unto Raila if he buys into an empty shell. All the photo opportunities will head straight to the archives once the realpolitik begins.

Narc nostalgia
Fish maybe a nutritious menu for lunch but it has no political value. Kibaki just wanted to sample fresh fish caught in Migingo Island. All else is predictable melodrama that will only succeed in opening and sheering raw political wounds.

It is one thing to create an impression of leadership by example and from in front, but quite another to fool yourself with fake friendship premised exclusively on expediency. So here we are being impressed upon to embrace a dusted old trick packaged as new dawn while the cabinet meant to formulate governance agenda is pulling in different directions.

Only in Kenya can serial liars hope to attain different results from same cheap tricks. Meanwhile tuvumilie kuwa Wakenya.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Kibaki: Migingo is Kenya’s Policed by Uganda


Kenyans must learn to take President Kibaki seriously. Now that they have forced Kibaki to declare Migingo as belonging to Kenya, they must stop whining about the one acre WASTELAND. Kibaki came to Nyanza for more weighty business and reducing him to commenting of some rocky patch was a waste of his Excellency’s time.

And in forcing Kibaki’s hand, Migingo fishermen must brace themselves for a prompt reaction from Museveni whose police suffocate the island. We are good neighbours and must learn to share resources. Gifting landlocked Uganda with one acre won’t diminish our national sovereignty or pride.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Reading Kenyans Soon Leading Themselves

Whoever said if you want to hide anything from an African put it in a book has got another thing coming to them. For a long time Kenyans were thought to be afraid of what lies between book covers. However a recent survey published in a local daily reveals we are fearless readers not afraid of consuming but of acquiring knowledge.Kenya National Libraries may do well to increase the number of local libraries but kudos to kenyans for embracing reading culture outside formal education

A person who never went to school has innate natural intelligence and though books can be expensive there's more than one way to skin a cat.Our newspapers are just as good a place to start and widespread distribution of national publications ensures everybody is on the same page. As for our newspapers never mind propaganda wars labelling certain media houses sensationalist and others ethnically biased. The fact is no longer dealing with an illiterate population makes it harder for governments to pull the wool over people's eyes.the level of public awareness is increasing and has never been higher.

The average mwananchi is miles ahead of extinct dinosaurual leadership and this situation is troubling for woolly leadership continuosly incensed by the sharp awakening of a public which no longer accepts to be thought or spoken for.readers are indeed leaders and soon reading Kenyans will be firmly leading this country for themselves the way its supposed to be

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Kibaki’s Pain of Pleasing a Nation in Foul Mood


Kibaki only invites foul mood unto himself when he has to. And now all the Hague talk just makes the reknown economist go mad. But by going for FISH lunch in Bondo, the hitherto don is leading by example and from infront. The MPs and ministers will be left no choice but to either shape up or ship out. Well, your guess is as good as mine on their choice when it comes to what matters most to their pockets.

The Bondo lunch may just be the magic wand Kibaki needs to wave and abracadabra, NO HAGUE. You know fish is not only a nutritious source of white meat, but it has plenty of zinc that makes you wax academic leaving you oozing wisdom. LSE-educated Kibaki knows when to go back to the basics in re-inventing himself.

Image is everything and more so in politics. Kibaki’s laid back trademark has served him right through the years. Only airheads blame him for not frequently engaging the pair of flaps separating his chin from the nose. He knows when to talk and when he does, all and sundry stop to listen. Come Saturday evening and you will see change of heart where the whole cabinet will be singing in praise of Emilio’s infinite wisdom.

The Hague monster may be the prophetic crisis Kenya needed to unite against a common threat. And the time-tested President Kibaki is the person to help us comprehensively fight against that common enemy from beyond our borders. He has done on a wheelchair and will do it again to the chagrin of his detractors.

Delicious fish lunch
Kibaki must not be tied to nonentities. Those morons blaming him for not reprimanding Museveni over Migingo conveniently forget the fact that he has even left Mungiki and the vigilantes in his own backyard to sort their own bloody mess without his interference. His modus operandi amounts to dispensing blind justice that favours nobody including own blood relations.

The MPs may continue their juvenile rants by throwing out the Special Tribunal Bill oblivious of the high cost of auctioning our national sovereignty. The truth is that they are only increasing the decibels while their eyes remain singularly trained on upping their prices.

The MPs’ true beef is with Kibaki being stripped of immunity and authority to dish out clemency to the right people. Only Michuki and Wetangula seem to know better than the whole herd about true patriotism and sovereignty. We need a President with sharp teeth to bite when called upon.

Nobody understands Kenya better than Kibaki himself. He singularly drove us to our present location and only him can take us out of it. All else is pretense packaged in costly ignorance of the true owners of Kenya. Saturday's lunch of fish may mark the reset switch button.

Monday, July 20, 2009

Respect Kenya: Kibaki Must Stay Above the Law


No country or leader auctions the priceless gift and honour of sovereignty. And Kibaki as the embodiment of Kenya must remain above the law no matter what the Rome statutes say about tribunals.

Ministers have once again confirmed the tower of Babel that they have become. They have refused to unite and lead by example instead they are leading from the rear with the singular virtue of bickering. While they all toned down towards agreeing on setting a local tribunal, Kibaki’s position must remain NONNEGOTIABLE.

After saving us from stewing ourselves in our own blood, Kibaki deserves respect and must avoid the indignity of answering to Ocampo’s melodrama at the Hague. The ICC may demand watertight declaration in offering immunity to nobody but we must unite in protecting our third president from such a shame.

Ocampo and Annan must not be allowed to re-invent themselves using Kenya as a case study. They need to know the basics and avoid being easily excitable. For their information they better know that past tense of pigs fly is a common disease ravaging the world presently. Swine flu is no epidemic.

Midnight swearing
Mutula Kilonzo must learn politics made and practised inn Kenya. Well, he may have signed some papers with the ICC Prosecutor agreeing to stamp out impunity once and for all. But he must be aware that within our shores anything on paper is as good as the wet ink. Once liquiud is dry, the memorandum and agreement naturally goes comatose. What is more, we are a living testimony.

So the cabinet can shout, wine and dine every week but they must make sure President Kibaki is comprehensively protected from scavengers like Ocampo and his sidekick Annan. They is only once centre of power in Kenya and we can only dare upset that institution at our collective national peril.

Ocampo can breathe all the coloured fires and brimstone but Kibaki as a symbol of our nationhood must retain the authority to dish CLEMENCY so that we can heal. Kibaki knows Kenya better than even Obama and must not be intimidated at whatever cost. And on that note the MPs' hostility to Special Tribunal Bill is justified in protecting our exotic sovereignty.

Kibaki is a master at delegation but he cannot be naive to delegate to Ocampo the role of wielding the axe on his own neck. Justice Gicheru should know better. He couldn’t have sworn in the president at midnight only to have the old man subjected to embarrassment by international minions like Ocampo, NEVER.

Kibaki, Raila And The Hague: Can You Take The Terrible Truth?


In some ways, I cannot help sympathizing with the Kenyan government just now because they are really between a rock and a hard place where the Hague issue is concerned.

There is immense pressure on the government of Kenya to form a local tribunal to try post-election violence suspects and this push is coming mainly from the International community, especially the United States and Britain. (As I said in an earlier post the main architect behind this move is the president of the United States, Barack Obama).


However Kenyans have absolutely no faith in their own judicial system and want all the criminals (especially the big boys) to go to the Hague and face justice there. Even if it takes two or three years for this to happen.


Now the Kenyan government cannot form a local tribunal because any such legislation to make this possible will have to pass through parliament. And you and I know for a fact that there is no way the current parliament will pass any such bill (with or without instructions from party leaders).


So the only logical solution is to call for fresh elections.


I can hear you groaning and I can also hear you complaining about how the country is not ready for a general election and will NOT be ready for a while. I myself can fill this page with 100 reasons why there should never be any general elections in Kenya for the next 20 or even 100 years. However what is the alternative? What is the alternative to an election?


Incidentally there was an interesting statement made by Raila Odinga over the weekend. The Prime Minister has castigated the Kenya Human Rights Commission for releasing the list of suspects (upon which Kofi Anan based his list). Raila has also said (almost with the same breath) that the Hague should release it’s list of suspects too.


Very confusing statements those, don’t you think?


But let me help you see through the smoke screens. You must bear in mind that what politicians say and what they really want are always two very different things. The late Vice President Wamalwa Kijana put it very eloquently when he said that some politicians play their cards on the table while hiding the really dangerous ones under the table. That’s how the game of politics is played everywhere in the world.


Let me tell you a story to cement my point here. There is this guy who keeps on telling this woman that he loves her very much. The woman naturally drinks in this, but fate puts a terrible test before him. Just before their wedding, they decide to go for an HIV test. The Man comes out negative but the woman is HIV positive. Now in my book if the man really loves the woman as he has been constantly saying, and if it is true that he cannot do without her, then he ought to marry her, HIV or no HIV. Right?


In my story the man was naturally doing what most men do to women—telling her a pack of lies. And so when they come out of the VCT centre the man is lost for words even as his woman is devastated. He cannot even offer words of consolation. His mind is simply racing trying to find the quickest way out of all this… and yet the wedding cards have already been printed and the bride’s gown has been made.


So it is in politics. The truth of the matter is that both sides of the current political leadership funded and incited the chaos we saw in January 2008. ODM did it strategically to stop the stolen elections from being allowed to stand. The long term strategy was to make the country unmanageable until the elections were either repeated or the presidency given to the rightful winner. PNU did it mostly in retaliation for the blood bath that went on in the Rift Valley where the main victims were supporters of the party. So in essence before anybody else is put on trial for the blood bath, common sense demands that the leaders of ODM and PNU face justice first for what they sanctioned—the buck stops at their tables. If the courts find them innocent then it is okay as long as it is not the kind of courts Kenyan have seen in these shores since independence. The kind that they do NOT want the post election suspects to be tried in.


And that is why I have been suggesting for a long time now that the only solution for Kenya is that we find a way to go back to the polls as soon as possible. You don’t need to have any brains to realize that as long as the current government is in power you will NEVER get Raila and Kibaki to face justice. In fact the longer they remain in power the harder it will be to take those two gentlemen anywhere. For the politically naïve, let me explain further. Those two gentlemen this very minute do NOT have anything higher in their agenda than staying out of jail after they leave power and we are just giving them more time to destroy evidence, kill witnesses etc.


And by the way the minimal reforms people are talking about before the next elections is a pipe dream as long as Raila and Kibaki are in power. Do you honestly think that these two gentlemen and their advisors will allow reforms that will come back to haunt them? Please!!!!

That is the brutal truth. Sorry for saying such nasty things (especially about characters who are worshipped by some avid readers of this blog. Please remember that the good book says you shall NOT worship anybody else BUT THE TRUE AND LIVING GOD). Admittedly, the truth is often pretty nasty and unpalatable and usually requires quite a “strong stomach” to take.


P.S. I have recently been doing some fascinating e-interviews with various Kenyans from all walks of life. I will be publishing them here in Kumekucha and today I have started with THIS ONE about a Kenyan who claims he is making a lot of money from the web whilst based in Nairobi.

What!!??? Kenyans Making Money On The Web?

That Can’t Be True


Kumekucha: Why don’t you want to tell Kenyans your second name?

Faizul: Several reasons. One, I fear your site because you write very controversial things. Secondly I fear the competition because Kenyans like to copy things and flood the market. Naturally this will harm my business.

Kumekucha: So why agree to the e-interview in the first place?

Faizul: Mainly as a favour to the SEO expert who showed me what to do and also to encourage jobless Kenyans out there.

Kumekucha: What do you sell online from Nairobi?

Faizul: All I can say is that it is something related to the rapidly growing IT and computer industry.

Kumekucha: So how does it work?

Faizul: There are tens of thousands of Kenyans who search the web every day looking for all kinds of things. We started off researching the keywords they use to find what it is that I sell. Once we had identified the main keywords we created a free site with all my information and then optimized it for those keywords. What this means is that when people type those relevant words in a search engine, my free site ends up in the top ten of the search engine results. They then visit my site where I have advertised the products with features and prices. Usually they will email me for further details and I take it from there, sometimes following up with a telephone call or two to seal the deal.

Kumekucha: What kind of money are you making from your free site?

Faizul: (Laughing) You don’t expect me to tell you that do you? Let’s just say hundreds of thousands every month.

Kumekucha: I find that hard to believe and I think my readers will also find it hard to believe.

Faizul: Well, it is the truth. Just go and do research on how many people use the Google search engine every day and then divide the figure you get by the number of countries in the world. You will be shocked. What you need to understand here is that the people you get coming to a site from a search engine are serious buyers who want to buy right away. If you grasp that secret, then you will find it easier to believe what I am saying.

Kumekucha: Any parting shot for Kenyans.

Faizul: I’m not sure if you will print this. But I find your site too controversial and there is too much abusive language going on in there for most people to take you seriously. If you made it a bit serious I think you would gain more readers very quickly because reading your news online is much more convenient than sitting around with a newspaper these days. Especially for business people.

About making money online. I saw a TV documentary recently about this small outsourcing company in Egypt (set up like a cyber café) that handles work from all over the world and has been voted a top 100 business (unfortunately I don’t have the details). But that centre has created many jobs for Egyptians. Industry in Kenya has collapsed and all this nonsense about making Kenya an industrialized nation is untenable, the only ray of hope I see is on the web.

Faizul’s mentor gives free advice through a brand new weekly ezine he produces. It is FREE. You can subscribe for it HERE.

Read THIS for more details.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

What Do You Tell A Friend When There's A Brick Wall Ahead

That friend is Raila Odinga.

I've agonized about the increasingly fragile situation this masterful politician from my backyard finds himself in. Because of his stand on various issues, he faces what is beginning to look like a quagmire, a situation he will be unable to extricate himself from when the time to run for president rolls around in 2012.

The range of issues that the Prime Minister needs to worry about are growing. Obviously he is at the point where he has just about successfully alienated the Kalenjin. We all know that the Mau situation needs to be carefully handled, and that a solution must immediately be found that takes into account the interests of the folks there at the same time as the interests of the wider Kenyan, and indeed East African community, is taken care of. But this is a landmine. Should Raila have played politics on this issue and placed the future of a region in jeopardy?

What do you tell a friend?

Then there is the growing perception that a certain group of people is setting up the PM for failure. According to this theory, it is believed that this group has curved out only the most politically difficult issues for Raila to deal with and not Kibaki. For instance, they say, why has Kibaki not been as forceful in handling the Mau issue as Raila has been? Why hasn't he been seen to be vocal about a new constitution? And why has he appeared so disinterested in the Migingo issue when he knows that Migingo is an issue that deeply troubles the folks from his own Prime Minister's backyard? And just wait. Does it look strange that when the Hague now looks inevitable the conniving group has brought in Raila to plead with Kenyans for a local tribunal? Why can't Kibaki crisscross the nation campaigning for that dead-horse idea, the theorists ask?

What do you tell a friend?

If a friend is a man or a woman you love and trust, you will always tell them the truth. I've read accounts of well-meaning men and women who have advised Raila to go slow on Mau, to let the perpetrators of ethnic killings roast at the Hague, to be more defiant in the face of the charged assignments slapped on his desk by the group hell bent on making him catch the flak when things go wrong. My fear is that such people are not Raila's friends.

Friends tell the truth.

The truth is that Raila, as a leader, must stand firm for what is right. When those who understand the environmental issues at play at Mau tell us that we face a disaster if the activities currently ongoing there are not addressed, why would Raila choose political expediency and play to the ignorant lot that don't seem to care what will happen in just five to ten years? And since Raila signed on to work with Kibaki as a partner, why would he now turn around and cause upheaval in the coalition a good three years before the next presidential campaign season? Isn't it right for the PM to keep his end of the bargain till the time comes to say, "Let's present a new vision to the Kenyan people?"

What do you tell a friend?

Tell the friend to lead with conviction and wisdom. In all that you do, Hon. Prime Minister, ensure that you put the interests of this nation first and all will be just fine. And even if I should disagree with you about the local tribunal, I give you the fact that you have...at this point in time...weighed the options and decided that the local tribunal route is the best for Kenya. I hope soon you'll sense its retrogressive nature and join those of us who are pushing for the Hague.

I hope you also tell your friend you are praying for them!

Road to 2012 and Politics of 20 Provinces


ICC's Moreno Ocampo and his sidekick Kofi Annan can generate all the heat they want but Kenya must continue with CONSTITUTIONAL governance. We have no leadership vacuum and to suggest otherwise is treasonable.

Kibaki has embarked on his constitutional duty to REDRAW Kenya’s map and redefine our politics forever. And the nosy airheads must keep off such weighty matters of governance. Kibaki’s acts are unparalleled. You cannot effectively administer close to 40m people from 8 dispersed centres.

Kibaki is shaping Kenya for the 21st Century. Forget about Michuki taking Moi to court for creating more districts. That was the right thing at the wrong time by the wrong person. In less than 3 years, we now have 254 districts, far more than 210 constituencies. And why not have more DCs than MPs if you want to police people?

The Ministry of internal security is integral to the success of any political schemes. Just add that to the now fully-fledged paramilitary force Administration Police complete with helicopters, marine boats and high tech firepower and you get what you want by FIAT. 2012 is well taken care of in advance. No more 2007, dare you?

Even grade three tots will tell you something about bringing services closer to the people. Government policy can only be effectively delivered by the right personnel who enjoy undivided loyalty from their boss. The new faces of governors tells it all.

Kibaki’s curving out of 20 near ethnically and politically homogeneous provinces is an acto of political genius. He may be OLD, but HE the President if sharp and living ahead of his time. He has once again proved that our tattered constitution can be mutilated some more to good effect.

You only need to look closely at the sub provinces curved out of Rift Valley, Western and Nyanza to see the President’s master stroke. All the other divisions were only meant to create façade of justification. The Ligale-led boundary commission can have their ritual and purchase the new cars but Kenya is miles ahead with Kibaki in the driver’s seat.

Majimbo by fiat
The bungled 2007 elections changed Kenya forever. What is more, Kibaki took note and has promptly acted on that very voting pattern. Political homogeneity can only mean peace. The more districts than constituencies is sign of things to come.

By creating the unofficial 20 provinces, Kibaki has killed all the political birds in the forest with a single stone. What a marvelous way to launch a lasting legacy? New constitution kitu gani? Districts don't count for presidency, provinces do. The so-called Bomas draft can be CLEVERLY implemented differently to serve specif purpose, MTA DO?

All right thinking and patriotic Kenyans must rally behind Kibaki to unite Kenya. He has deftly obliterated the primitive politics of tribal warlords. A nationalist won’t find it difficult winning 5 provinces as stipulated by the law to become the president.

The new 20 provinces spell anew dawn for Kenyan politics. I pity those who are worried of a fractious Kenya. You haven’t seen the last thread of an infinitely divided country, thanks to Kibaki. NA BADO.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Hague Express Watch: The Guilty Very Afraid


Ex-Naivasha MP Jayne Kihara has registered herself at the Hague reception. So who is next? Just what Annan ordered, PANIC galore. In its wake panic leaves the guilty crawling out of the woodwork without prompting. The last few days have seen politicians make U-turns from brinkmanship to evangelistic commiseration.

But make no mistake, Kibaki is in full control and will never allow his legacy to be tarnished as the president who auctioned Kenya to ICC, never. Kibaki is not naive to tighten the noose around the neck of his trusted lieutenants. Ocampo will have to wait for a very long time after clearing numerous smokescreens conveniently erected to distract him.

Justice Waki maybe no saint but at least he clinically diagnosed our deceptive modus operandi and cleverly disabused us of its twin vices both dolled in FRAUD. Imagine if Waki undertook the ritual just like numerous commissions before him and handed over his findings and dreaded THE ENVELOPE to the appointing authority.

The contents would have been trashed and the scoundrels would have engage super gear in looting Kenya secure in the knowledge that the coast is clear. As for now all the hitherto escape routes are firmly sealed and the music is far from being pleasant.

Ocampo’s raging fire and brimstone may just be the dreaded sword of domacles that will whip us into shape. Alternatively our legendary scoundrels may as well give both Moreno and Annan the open cheque to write history with Kenya as a case study. The blood from Naivasha and Kiamba are crying for revenge from 6ft under.

Self-registration
We owe Waki plenty. Mark you were he not for fighting for his own integrity, this is one Justice Ringera had condemned to judicial oblivion during his platitudinous radical surgery. At least we have the envelope to thank Waki for, what about the dragon slayer Aaron?

One thing is clear and predictable. The murderers won’t go down alone and not in silence. Solomonic wisdom will come in handy at the theatre of political guillotine – I DID IT FOR THE BOSS.

We haven’t seen anything yet, the heat is one, the temperatures are suffocating and the chopping block is smartly laid. NA BADO.

Great Panic In The Corridors Of Power?

The bloated cabinet in session: Great panic now in meetings

For days now, I have quietly analyzed and re-analyzed the current situation in Kenya even as you read this. I have talked to my most important contacts again and again. Admittedly information is very scanty at the moment but all the clues and signs are there. And they all spell only one word; PANIC.

The Grand Coalition Government is currently facing the biggest crisis any government in Kenya has ever faced. At least I can authoritatively say that this is the position with key players in that government.


There is an African proverb that says even a giant can be brought down by a very small pebble on the footpath and folks, I have good reason to believe that this is exactly what is threatening to happen to the Kibaki/Raila adminstration.

The source of all the trouble is one annoying five letter word that is the name of a place. HAGUE. The problem is the possibility of some very senior persons appearing at that place to answer for the happenings of December 2007 and January 2008.


Kenya has always been governed by a government that is in total control. And that control has always very much included the judicial process. The single telephone calls that have changed numerous court rulings are too many to be counted and is a story for another day.


But as you read this, the fate of key individuals in the GNU is in the hands of a foreigner and what has caused major panic in the corridors of power is that that individual can hurt Kenya’s “untouchables.” A phone call won’t work this time and neither will a cheque leaf with zeros that would make anybody dizzy. That is the crux of the problem.


So the major preoccupation now is how to make the Hague go away.

Let’s flash back for a minute to January 2008 when the then Ghanian president and chair of the African Union John Kofour jetted into the country with the full backing of Americans and the Brits. You will remember that this man did a lot of work shuttling between the two major protagonists. Insiders say that after days of sleepless nights he finally managed to draft an agreement of sorts that both Raila Odinga of ODM and Mwai Kibaki of PNU were ready to sign. But what happened next remains a puzzle to this day. It is said that when the document was brought to President Kibaki, he disowned it completely and said that he had never agreed to any of the points on it. And yet he himself had earlier assured Kofour that those negotiating on his behalf would be in consultation with him.

Still the point I want to make here is that the hardliners on President Kibaki’s side must today be regretting bitterly why they pulled such an embarrassing stunt on poor John Kofour who hurriedly jetted out of the country hours after this embarrassment. Had Mwai Kibaki signed on the dotted line, there would be no Hague today. The crisis that he faces would never have existed.


You see the moment the team of eminent persons led by Koffi Anan jetted into the country, then the whole issue ceased to be a domestic squabble and turned into an international issue where the involvement of the increasingly powerful and visible International courts at the Hague could NOT be avoided. We in
Kumekucha saw this very early and that is why our main writers all gleefully announced that it was now the Hague option, moments after the bill to set up a local tribunal to try post election violence perpetrators was defeated in parliament.

Back to the crisis at hand, the major worries for both Kibaki and Raila but especially Kibaki are as follows;


- That even if they are initially NOT indicted to appear at the Hague (none of them is on Anan’s list, I can authoritatively tell you. Send for my raw notes to see the full list) those who appear will be forced to mention their names in their defense and the trail will inevitably lead back to them. And that CANNOT be allowed to happen.


- The Hague trials will further splinter both major parties and turn everything into a everybody for themselves survival game. This will annihilate both major parties as political forces.


- Judging by what has happened in the recent past, even if the two principals manage to keep people from “singing” at the Hague, there is a very real possibility that the evidence already collected is enough to force both principals to appear at the Hague on some very serious charges.


If you doubt for a minute the panic in town over the Hague issue then you need to think about the following unfolding events.


- Emergency cabinet meetings have been called with the main agenda being how to avoid the Hague. All the meetings so far have reached a deadlock with no agreement on the way forward. What fascinates me greatly is the fact that although it is clear that if the GNU do not unite, most of them will hang separately, the two sides are not interested in uniting and it seems would prefer to hang separately than unite and get out of the current crisis.

- Key witnesses who testified before the Waki commission have suddenly started receiving death threats again and are living in great fear.

All this brings me to the shattering climax of this post. And that is the kamikaze (suicide) options being considered by the heavyweights in the GNU.


Option One:
Since there is no way that the current parliament can pass the much needed legislation to set up a local tribunal and thus make the Hague go away, the president can dissolve parliament and call for a snap general elections.


The problem with this option is that it disqualifies the president from running again and it would mean that the term he so desperately wanted to serve until the end (irrespective of the bloodshed that was going on in Kenya) would grind to a sudden halt. However Phil of Kumekucha said here in a comment that there is a possibility that Mwai Kibaki could come back as Prime Minister in a Raila Odinga led government (with the necessary assurances having been worked out behind the scenes). I have checked with my sources and they are not laughing when I suggest such a scenario.

Of course the main problem here is that it is being assumed that the Kenyan voters will play ball. I can authoritatively tell you that they WILL NOT. You see our politicians believe that anything is possible in Kenya as long as somebody can write a cheque that is big enough to cover the “costs”. I don’t think this is true anymore. Starving poverty-stricken Kenyans not withstanding.


Option Two:
The president resigns. Constitutionally this means that the Vice President will act for 90 days pending a general election. A lot can happen in 90 days, especially if you have planned for it all well in advance and written all the necessary cheques. The objectives would be the same as in option one only that there would be more time to influence how the general elections go.


My conclusion:
Things will never be the same again in Kenya. This is the beginning of a chain of events that will rid Kenyans of the current political class and usher in the much awaited new beginning. My view is that it is now too late for the political class to do anything to save themselves. My only fear is what has to happen before we arrive in the promised land.
Secondly I have just confirmed that what I said here months ago has come to pass. That is the major driving force behind all this is one President Barack Obama who wants to make an example of Kenya for the rest of Africa.

Posts On Obama from the past in Kumekucha;

Matatu riding president and the world economic melt-down

President of the US who rode in a matatu

Predictions of democratic nomination for Obama

All Kenyan blogs except Kumekucha said Obama had no chance

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Karua Flogging Dead Anglo Leasing Ghosts


They returned the money back to the government. So Anglo Leasing is truly the scandal that never was. Kiraitu told us as much during his reign as Justice Minister. So what else does Martha Karua want after the official clarification to the same effect from both her predecessor and treasury?

The Narc-K chairperson must know when to stop talking. She served the government diligently and as much as the cabinet is missing her skirt for cover, the Gichugu MP must tame her upper pair of lips. No form nor amount of political tantrums can sanitize sour grapes.

The treasury may have promised parliaments that the government terminated all Anglo Fleecing contracts. But Basic English tells you contract is founded on obligations that must be met by both parties. The fleecers did their part and expensively package and sold us air and it is incumbent upon Kenya to pay.

Anglo Leasing owners are not local DT Dobie who we can generously subject to fiat and raw power in contravention of a signed contract. And Martha must stop being cheeky in sneaking in UNFOUNDED demands knowing too well Finance Minister and DPM together with his PS are on grander mission abroad to oil the wheels of Kenya.

Karua and Bonny Khalwale must learn to respect official communication. The able and decorated AG Amos Wako has himself told Parliament the Government had cancelled five contracts when it became apparent they were fraudulent. We don’t need sophisticated Forensic Science Laboratories when special police units can comprehensively deal with thugs and militias.

Sour grapes
Kenyans must learn to count their blessing one by one. They are fortunate enough to be led by an accomplished economist who remains a genius among his village peers since 1960s to date.

President Kibaki’s austerity measures and prudence in rejecting expensive vehicles couldn’t be more proof that he cannot allow Kenyans to be fleeced on his watch. So Karua’s challenge that Treasury officials present proof that the Government had indeed terminated Anglo Leasing contracts is retrogressive and insensitive to a progressive regime.

Madam Karua must respect the collective responsibility she took oath on and stop revealing government secrets under the pretext of seeking transparency. She is better advised to stop the beautiful circus that hitherto defined her.

Martha speaking of constitutional and legal reforms makes her lips contort so strangely she would rather not try. She must stop shadowboxing His Excellency the President who made her what she is today. Sour grapes as a rule are often juiceless.

Hague Express Watch: The Centre Cannot Hold

Martha Karua saw it and shouted GENOCIDE the loudest. And nobody can credibly fault her given all the insider knowledge accumulated in between her ears. The cabinet must be sorely missing the iron lady’s wits and guts. Just look at rudderless PNU’s gerrymandering.

The arrival of one Moreno Ocampo has changed Kenya’s political equation forever. All the bravado and brinkmanship are no more. The heat is on, the temperature boiling and with every new day the noose gets tighter around the necks of the scoundrels.

Make no mistake, President Kibaki is in total control. Just as he saved Kenya from stewing in her own blood, Kibaki will deftly but COMPETENTLY pull through this ICC crisis. His fierce patriotism will not allow him to abuse his oath of office by surrendering our sovereignty, NEVER.

What is more, Kibaki and PNU have the victim on a leash. They know too well that the ICC does not prosecute REGULAR acts of criminality which his opponents wrongfully yap about. State shooting of protesters and isolated cases extra-judicial regional killings is just proof of who has the monopoly of violence.

Last laugh
The ICC does not interfere nor investigate organs of state used to beat into shape unruly citizens. Killing, shooting to maim and tormenting citizens is an exclusive right of any regime worth its name.

ICC will find ready and incontrovertible evidence in our streets of Kabila adui, Madoadoa and Sangari. Moreno will be ruled out of order if he tries to delve into cause and effects. He must listen and act on the heat chasing the rat while the house is on fire.

The rioters shot dead from behind by police is a local matter. Moreno must act swiftly to protect those who shout loudest lest they break our eardrums. They have the number and the power to twist justice in their favour. They will have the last and longest laugh, game on.

Monday, July 13, 2009

Hague Express: Envelope Watch Day 5


Two is better and deadlier than one.

Elephant Moreno Ocampo is in the house. There is no room to wiggle. The political temperature sores, the tempo heightens, the heat intensifies, the atmosphere is poisoned. No template to read from, the plot thickens as the environment gets lethally toxic.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Will Kenya Survive The Hague Trials?

Since Independence, nothing as significant as this has happened in Kenya.

Over the next few months, we are all going to be witnesses to a situation where our political class, and those who handle them, will work tirelessly to invent ways to scuttle the legal process Annan and Ocampo have set in motion at the Hague. What these perpetually blinded folks will be forgetting is that this game is over. Their best way forward at this point is to hire the best attorneys money can buy and have them start work on a defense strategy that will at least minimize the damage the presence of their name in the Waki envelop will have caused.

As these events unfold, Kenyans should require that those mentioned in the envelop resign immediately to pave way for further investigation. It should also be made clear to such folks that they will never hold any public position in this nation until they are cleared of the charges against them. Like I said last week, this may well be God's answer to the cry of Kenyans to be delivered from the tyranny of a ruling class that has turned out worse than the colonialist.

But here is my fear.

My fear is that when these folks sense that the Hague will go down with them, they may set in motion a state of affairs that may well plunge this nation into worse chaos than what we witnessed two Decembers ago. Just consider for a moment the guys whose names we know are in the envelop for sure. Ali, Uhuru, Ruto, Michuki. Those four guys, even if we left out everybody else, command terror machines in the name of Mungiki for Uhuru, Kalenjin Warriors for Ruto, the police force for Ali, and top brass in the armed forces for Michuki. If those guys sensed that they are going down at the Hague, the evil they demonstrated to be capable of in the past will repeat itself...only this time they'll want Kenya to burn with them.

That said, I want to call on the members of Parliament to stand firm against a local tribunal. It is now clear that such a tribunal will not go anywhere. We have successfully demonstrated to the world how immature we still are by being incapable of doing as simple a thing as merely punishing goons who masterminded the mass murder of their fellow countrymen. Even worse is the political posturing going on for 2012v while IDPs continue to languish in the unforgiving seasonal cold weather. Two years later? May Parliament unite in defeating the pleas of Raila and Kibaki for a local tribunal. Let those of us who have worried about Kenya's sovereignty swallow this harsh pill and turn over our boys and girls to the Hague. And the first girl hurled there should be that woman in Kisumu who gave a shoot-to-kill order. I hear she's now in a comfortable office here in Nairobi. And we wonder why Annan don't trust these folks?

I pray that once these evil men and women are withdrawn from circulation, this nation will have an opportunity to start afresh. I pray that we will cultivate a culture where impunity is frowned upon and integrity encouraged. A culture where corruption will not be tolerated, and God feared for what He has done. It is only when men and women of solid character run the affairs of this nation that Kenya will move toward Vision 2030 with surefootedness.

We shall be free!

I know we shall because out there where God lives, those who watch over us don't sleep. Woe unto those accused when the cry of an entire nation has reached the ear of the Almighty.

Woe unto them!

Hague Express and the Tale of Two Envelopes

Annan has called Kenya bluff. The Hague engine is revving and pretenders are torn between the façade of plastic sovereignty and refusing the local tribunal. Well, you can never bake your cake and gobble it, or can you?

Kofi Annan must have witnessed firsthand original vices made and practiced in Kenya while staying in Nairobi for months last year, He saw through the gimmicks of the Mutula-led delegation to Geneva. He has proved to the scoundrels that you cannot fool all the people all the time by taking them round in circles with empty promises. In essence Annan has hit back hard where it hurt most. Just look at the panic button permanently pressed all over. Political temperatures can only go one direction, up.

The heat is on and there may be no place to hide anymore. Even those who have been entertaining the fallacy of Hague’s long process are stung. They may not show it but the dread and anxiety is written all over their faces. Ocampo’s prompt opening of the envelope handed to him by Annan amounts to another squeeze at the noose tightening around the neck of Hague suspects.

Before 2007, Kenya was a model African democracy until that democracy was heinously bastardized. Nobody ever thought the might Kanu would be politically vanquished at the 2002 polls. That came to pass and the evil Moi rose above all selfishness to hand over power. Make no mistake Moi had all the state apparatus to do as he wished. Even the polarized 2005 referendum came to pass. But not when the political stakes peaked in 2007.

Judge Kriegler may have been diplomatic in his no winner verdict. But the old man knew better than douse an inferno with fuel. Making inference from first principles leaves you asking if there was no winner then why one was sworn in at midnight.

But that is the wrong question. Basic deduction belittles the enormity of the task and apocalypse President Kibaki saved Kenya. Power abhors vacuum and Kibaki had to DUTIFULLY and DUELY fill the void lest Kenyans stewed themselves in their own blood. It therefore defeats logic to examine the genesis of PEV if we are to address its casualties.

Wrong question
Hiding behind empty sovereignty slogans are foxes waiting to pounce on their next prey. True to their colours, they will never a Special Tribunal Bill that demands those implicated to immediately step aside. That is not the way we do things in Kenya. Taking any form of personally responsible for your actions in an alien philosophy here.

The Special Tribunal Bill shamelessly permutes impunity by giving the president the freehand to abuse the powers of clemency. Surely Kenya has its owners and the voters must be ready to either pay rent or relocate elsewhere.

But not just yet. The Ocampo elephant is squarely chocking the room and no political bets are is binding now. And who knows Moreno Ocampo maybe that silver bullet to comprehensively sanitize and then deodorize Kenyan politics.

Game on. It is only us who can free ourselves from this bondage. YES WE CAN and MUST.

Can Change Really Come To Kenya Without You?

As I write this, President Obama of the United States has just finished his tour of Ghana. Before he left that Cocoa country, he said a few things about Kenya that our leaders are not taking lying down. Foreign Minister Moses Wetangula has suggested Obama’s comments were ill-informed.

On this Sunday morning in Kenya I find that very funny. And you will too after I reveal a few things about the matatu-riding president of the United States.

As usual our politicians are quick to defend themselves even as the rot all around them stinks to the high heavens. They also conveniently have very short memories.

It is a fact that President Obama and knows more about Kenya than all the past Presidents of the United States put together ever understood about Africa.

On Obama’s first trip back to the home of his ancestors in the 90s, the guy slept on the sofa in some seedy Nairobi neighborhood and rode matatus all over the place. And remember those were the pre-Michuki-rules days when breathing inside a crowded matatu was not for the faint-hearted. Indeed Obama knows more about the life of an ordinary Kenyan than Moses Wetangula or any other cabinet minister will ever understand in the next 100 years. When was the last time Kibaki, Raila or Wetangula rode in a crowded Matatu? Or slept on the sofa?

If there was any ray of hope for change in Kenya to be found with our current crop of leaders then their response to President Obama’s remarks would have been much more intelligent and less arrogant. But alas, if you are like me then you know we can never have change until we remove the current crop of jokers calling themselves our leaders. And they need to be removed by any means possible.

It should be crystal clear by now that for anything good to happen in our motherland all the current crop of leaders MUST go home. Kenyans need to gain courage and come out and insist (at great risk to their own lives) that these people go home. Tom Mboya then a young man barely out of teens did exactly that in the 1950s and it is instructive that President Obama would never have existed had Mboya not made that bold decision to help rid Kenya of colonialists.

This time it is going to be a lot harder than it was back then and so as many Kenyans as possible need to come out and say NO. In fact I have made a personal decision to make my real identity public very soon and to come out and start campaigning for change in Kenya from the trenches. I will make an announcement soon. I am of course well aware that with the kind of information I have published here in the past about some very dangerous Kenyans, I will be at great risk doing something “stupid like that.” But my reasoning is that Kenyans are already dead with the kind of life we have in our country now. “The living dead” would be what some folks would call us. Besides there is a saying that it is much better to live 100 days as a lion than 100 years as a chicken.

The time has come and the time is now for you my brothers and sisters to put your own selfish interests and comforts aside and arise to fight so that we get our country back before it is too late. Enough has been done on the web, now we need to hit the ground running and walk our talk here.

Obama did it and so can we. For our newer readers let me point out that Kumekucha was the first blog in the world to predict an Obama presidency and you can guess what the reaction to that “ridiculous” suggestion was. My own dad bluntly told me I was dreaming and should wake up.

Well, I am now dreaming once again. Of a young Kenyan president. Selfless, tribeless and ready to put their lives on the line for mother Kenya. Where are thou?


P.S. It is one thing to speak ignorantly about something you don’t quite know or understand (because later you can deny you ever said anything of the sort) but it is quite another to put it in writing for posterity. My brother Phil’s recent post on Tom Mboya was hilarious. Apparently A Francis Atwoli-like character played a major part in bringing independence to Kenya. I am still digging deep into my history books looking for this Atwoli twin from the 1950s.

Friday, July 10, 2009

Crime Wave In Kenya: Just Watch, Mambo Bado

I was in this well-furnished nice apartment block somewhere in Kilimani and stories were being traded in the room about the rising insecurity and close shaves various people had had with carjackers.

Suddenly somebody across the room bluntly said that Maj Gen Hussein Ali should be given a free hand to shoot down every suspected criminal in sight. After all it was the only way to stop the rising crime wave.

I was shocked.

Surely they understood that there was no way crime can be stopped in that way. I thought they understood that the strategy they were talking about had already been tried with the Mungiki only to produce more hardened and determined Mungiki warriors. It was also tried during the post election violence. Kill a few people and the rest will be scared.

I thought about it for a long time and then it dawned on me what the problem here realy was. I grew up in a middle class family and lacked for nothing. I was never sent home for lack of school fees even one day. But luckily after school I had quickly moved out of home and lived in some pretty seedy neighborhoods of Nairobi trying to fend for myself despite my inexperience and naivety. Having moved out of home with nothing but my clothes, I learnt a lot. I learnt what it felt like to go hungry for lack of food. I heard so many stories of how people had been brought up and I saw some things that changed my life forever. I will be forever grateful for that experience.

To understand what is happening in Kenya these days you need to hear this true life story that has happened with hundreds and probably tens of thousands of families across the nation.

Let us call this guy Ted (for lack of a better name). Ted comes from a rural area somewhere in Kenya (I dare not mention the place with all the tribal hoodlums hovering around this blog). His parents have known all along that education is enough. All one needs to do is have a good education and they will never lack for money. So they have struggled and taken Ted all the way to University level. They sold cattle and almost the entire parcel of land owned by the family to take their son through school. They were later advised that a basic degree is not enough since so many people have it and Ted would need to go further and get a masters to land a good job (now Ted is confused because some employers have told him he is over-qualified for the jobs they are offering). Well, Ted has finished his expensive education about 6 years ago and his family were expecting that their huge “investment” would start bringing in a return. As you read this Ted I still jobless. Ted is in fact a vet. You would expect that an agricultural country like Kenya would never have enough Vet doctors to keep livestock healthy and profitable. But Ted is now idling at home with his degrees (up to masters level) and he has no job and no source of income.

Now the sad part of this story is that some of Ted’s school mates (who were not as bright and serious as he was with his studies) are doing very well. One is even the managing director of a State corporation. Others have good jobs in their family businesses.

This scenario is replicated all over the country. I want you to imagine for a minute how bitter Ted is bound to be right now. The poverty around him in his rural home keeps staring back at him and he feels guilty over what the family has sacrificed for his education. The bottom line is that the inequality in Kenya has created people like Ted. Clearly, making it in life no longer depends on hard work but whose son you are.

Now in this kind of scenario, how the hell do you expect anything less than a serious crime wave in Kenya?

Incidentally we have now moved to a new kind of crime that everybody dreads. This is kidnappings for hefty quick ransoms.Nigeria has come to Kenya folks. Now we have one problem in Kenya. People here are very quick to see a winning idea and to copy it so much so that the originator of the idea has no chance to make the killing they deserve from their smart thinking. Kidnappings are perfect. You simply warn the family that if they call the police they will find their loved one dead. So hopefully you should be able to end up with a lump sum without the police even being informed that a crime has been committed. Easy money and the perfect way to get back at the monied class.

Many of you who read this blog have recently gone into a supermarket and spend 10,000 bob without thinking twice about it. But watching you from a corner of the supermarket (maybe at the counter for those purchasing a single item) were a number of guys who have never seen that kind of money in their entire lives. Those of them who have jobs would need to save for 5 months or longer to have that kind of money in their accounts. And yet you blow it away one lazy Sunday afternoon on a whim.

That is the crux of the problem in Kenya. The gap between those who have money and the hopeless is just too wide and widening even as you read this.

So far our so-called leaders who can barely see beyond their noses (and pot bellies the size of which would keep them in good company at a maternity wing of a Nairobi hospital crowded with mothers expecting a bundle of joy at any minute) are using 70s techniques to deal with crime.

Let me tell you a story to prove this. In the 1970s there was a top cop (headed the CID at one point) called Ignatius Nderi who got a reputation for scaring thugs in Nairobi so much so that they called in and handed in their guns in fright (I kid you not). He simply did this by making a few examples and shooting down one or two in cold blood (Kwekwe-squad-style). We also have a guy who used to be called Patrick Shaw. A fat cop who sent shivers down the spines of no-gooders by doing exactly the same thing. There were no human rights activists in those days. Patrick Shaw used to drive an old Volvo and it is said that if there was a riot in Campus and he happened to be sent in. By the time he alighted from his Volvo, University students who had a minute earlier been throwing stones at cars would be kneeling down on the tarmac with their hands as high in the air as they could manage. Apparently he knew where all the thugs lived. He would pay them a visit and warn them and the next day they would pack all their belongings and retreat to their rural home while passing urine on themselves. I kid you not.

So our leaders imagine that if you shoot every suspected thug in site it should be able to work. It worked in the 1970s why should it not work now? The only problem now is of course those darned human rights activists who have managed to attract international attention to Kenya and how we have been dealing with crime for the last 4 decades or so.

Well for one thing in the 70s hard drugs were not such a serious problem in the country. And neither were there so many firearms in the city and country in general. In those days cops felt that they were very well armed when they had a revolver capable of delivering 6 rounds before re-loading. These days no self-respecting thug will do a serious job without an automatic weapon. Again in those days very few people had university degrees. I see a day in the very near future when some thugs will refuse to do jobs with anybody who does not have at least one university degree.

My dear Kenyans in the diaspora, I hope that this post will help you to start understanding where your country is at and why you should not be in the least surprised when you hear that crime has shot up. And to make matters worse the rate at which you guys are returning home penniless as victims of the economic melt-down will just worsen the situation.

I know most of you have never used a pit latrine within the city of Nairobi, so how can you understand what the hell I am talking about here?

P.S. So what is the solution? WE have to think out of the box and even as we get a DNA lab for the police, we need to deal with the root problems that cause crime instead of trying to simply snuff out the symptoms. We should start with corruption and impunity and then we need some urgent ideas to create income earning opportunities for the youth. I will write an ideas post specifically on this in the next few days.

Thursday, July 09, 2009

Annan Cracks the Whip, Starts Hague Express


Finally Annan has handed the sealed envelope to ICC for action. And with that single stroke of action the painful journey to address Kenya’s impunity starts. As Bob Marley aptly said you can fool some people some time but not all the people all the time.

Moreno Ocampo may not be everybody’s hero but trust the Argentinean to come with blind double edged sword that will not spare any prince or tout. True, it may take time but it will surely leave no room for local manipulation that singularly define our national incompetence.

Hague Express
Annan’s statement from Geneva welcomed Kenya's efforts to establish a special tribunal, but added that "any judicial mechanism adopted to bring the perpetrators of the post-election violence to justice must meet international legal standards and be broadly debated with all sectors of the Kenyan society in order to bring credibility to the process".

Capping it up, Annan reminded the scoundrels of the adage that justice delayed is justice denied. So let the political posturing begin. Meanwhile the noose is slowly and surely tightening around the neck of impunists. Thank God for small mercies.

Wednesday, July 08, 2009

The Kibakis Lead by Example and from Infront


Speak of austerity and being sensitive to the prevailing tough economic times and President Kibaki together with the First Lady are miles ahead of the pack. They have JOINTLY rejected the 8 vehicles driven into State House lawns by government officials without consulting them.

Kibaki is walking the talk and disabusing all the doubting Thomases who have been deriding him that he as lost his hitherto cutting edge. By delivering the Sh 50 million-worth limos, the officials must have been reading from the old sycophantic script of wanting to please the king while milking kickbacks from the dealers with inflated quotations. But alas, shrewd economists Kibaki know when to call their bluff.

And whoever thought that Lucy only makes headlines for all the wrong reasons must be boiling in shame. The First family is united in showing Kenyans good manners and living responsibly. State House is in no need of luxuries beyond the present superlative class.

What is more, Mr J.K. Mutua, State House's chief financial officer has been fired. After him the other big schemers who purchased the vehicles must be smarting from eggs plastering their faces. They better shop elsewhere to meet their fanciful financial obligations which they had budged for using kickbacks from the deal.

It is insulting to the institution of the presidency to be bought such average class of vehicles. A country's CEO and his dear wife deserves better. Mutua and company must have been prepared to pay the ultimate painful price and surely they did.



But wait a minute. The President may not be done with these scoundrels yet. He may as well just fire them or worse still call in the tried and tested dragon slayer Aaron Ringera. Otherwise the superlative PR from the PPS would amount to naught.

And while at it our selfish ministers must either follow the boss of pack their bags. But I guess they have been fantastic students so far after seeing the tiff with their PSs on parastatal appointments. After the President overruled KAA in re-appointing Muhoho, Ministers Sambili, Balala, Nyong’o and Ntimama have all done the boss proud.

Less foul mood
It is such token gestures from the President in leading from the top and by example that separates him from the other pretenders populating our borders. Don’t be surprised to see the DPM relinquishing thousands of acres of land in the footsteps of the President. In no time IDPs will be missing in our political appendix.

Cheap minds may reduce Kibaki’s resolve to playing to the gallery but why not if the auditorium if full? Thank God for LESS FOUL moods.

Tom Mboya: What is Kumekucha Hiding?


Is Kumekucha now resorting to twisting history in an attempt to influence current and future political events? I hope this right-of-reply will shed the light on some of the more recent misrepresentations.

Chris said;
Somebody wanted to be convinced that Oginga Odinga practiced tribal politics. Here we go;

i) Odinga senior hated Mboya because Mboya did not respect tribal ways where the older man is respected by the younger. Which meant that Mboya was supposed to shut up and blindly follow Odinga because he was also from Nyanza and older.


Bw. Chris,

On what basis do you make the accusation that Jaramogi ‘hated’ Mboya? Is it recorded anywhere as a fact? And then you go ahead and make very skewed conclusions that Jaramogi wanted Mboya to shut-up and blindly follow Odinga. I would like to see evidence of these allegations Chris because just in the same way, did you expect Jaramogi to shut up and follow Mboya blindly? I think you ought to get a copy of the book ‘Not yet Uhuru’ then perhaps you can understand that the white colonialists were much better than the African ‘liberators’ whom Mboya represented with zeal.

ii) When Odinga snr saw that Mboya was in poll position to be the first president of Kenya, he played the tribal card by calling for the release of an old man who was badly out of touch called Kenyatta not because he loved him but because he knew this would "fix" Mboya who drew the bedrock of his cosmopolitan support from the Kikuyu. This single action forever changed "the gear" of politics from the nationalistic approach Mboya was pursuing to a tribal one.

Prior to independence, Mboya was never in pole position to be the first president of Kenya. If anything, Kenyatta was in jail and Jaramogi was approached by the British to be Kenya’s first Prime Minister but he declined saying that no Kenyatta, no Uhuru. In case you did not know, Kenyatta was in the 50s the leading nationalist and along with the famous Kapenguria six a leading politician in his own right. How then do you accuse Jaramogi (a Luo) of tribal politics when without him Kenyatta (a Kikuyu) would probably have died in Kapenguria detention centre, and he (Jaramogi) would have proceeded to be Kenya’s first head of state?

As far as my knowledge of pre/post-independence history is concerned, Mboya was a mere labour union official (much like present day Francis Atwoli) who was jealous of Jaramogi's close relationship with Kenyatta and was desperate to get close to Kenyatta so as to up his political chances in the Kenyatta succession that was sure coming after independence. If Kenyatta radically changed midstream and converted from hero to villain, and even in the process fell out with his Kapenguria cellmates and Jaramogi regarding land redistribution and sharing of the national cake, how does this become a creation of Jaramogi?

iii) Despite his many years in the opposition trying to create the image of a nationalist, when the first multi-party elections were called, Odinga snr could not get national support and instead made a tribal deal with the Bukusu (Luhya sect) but this was not enough to win the elections or even to beat second placed Kenneth Matiba.

Please do not display your ignorance of multi-party politics in Kenya on this esteemed blog. Odinga did not try to create an image of a nationalist. That he WAS a nationalist who was later to be christened the DOYEN OF OPPOSITION POLITICS in Kenya are matters of FACT and not fiction. This was not without reason and his record speaks for itself. His quest for the presidency in 1992 was successful in so far as the prevailing circumstances then goes.

Although he was number 4 in the highly rigged elections in which Moi led Matiba, Kibaki and Odinga in that order, it is well known that Matiba and Kibaki were number 2 and number 3 because of reasons I have explained elsewhere on this board and as proof, the MPs who got elected to parliament in their respective political parties were all clustered in one region!

In contrast, No. 4 Jaramogi's party FORD-K managed to obtain an MP from each province in this republic a feat that not even KANU or any other party for that matter has achieved to date. In subsequent by-elections in Webuye, Kisauni, Kasarani/Mathare, FORD-K emerged tops despite the then mighty KANU machinery. Which national party did Mboya, Moi or Kenyatta lead? Please Chris, you can do much much better than try to twist history here!

I am further inclined to believe that FORD-K was the most effective official opposition since the advent of multi-part politics. For instance, without FORD-K, the famous IPPG reforms would never have come to fruition and by now it is probable that Kumekucha himself could as well have been wasting away in Manyani or Shimo-la-Tewa prison for running this blog. Chris you have every reason to thank Jaramogi for bringing together level headed and highly courageous young turks together in FORD-K to fight the might of Moi and KANU. While we are at it, could you please enumerate any political or constitutional achievement of significance that Mboya brought forth in his more than a decade long career in Kenyan politics and if any such achievements are impacting positively on the life of any Kenyan today?

If Bukusu’s vote for FORD-K in 1992 is tribal, what was Matiba’s (FORD-Asili) vote from Kakamega in the same region and the same election? What was Moi’s from NEP or Kibaki’s from Maasai land? Arent all these regions in Kenya? What about those who stood in their own areas and failed; like Mukaru N'gan'ga of KENDA and George Moseti Anyona of KSC? I am kindly asking you to spare us this shameless hypocrisy and tell the facts as they are.

iv) Contrast Mboya and Odinga senior. Odinga's support in the 60s was tribal where all Luos were supposed to follow him blindly without question. Mboya represented a cosmopolitan constituency where the intelligent voters had to be convinced with intelligent arguments and actions rather than mere words. Mboya resisted all calls to go back to his "easier" rural home (although admittedly he was virtually unknown there having grown up mostly amongst the Akamba people and the Kikuyu in parts of Kenya very far away from his home in Rusinga Island. Odinga saw this as a weakness he could exploit in Mboya and played the tribal card again and again against him.


You see, what you are trying to imply here is that it is negative tribalism for Jaramogi to be MP for Bondo, while it is quite alright for Kenyatta to represent Gatundu, or Kibaki to represent Othaya, or Moi to represent Baringo. Is Bondo not part of Kenya?

Incidentally, Kibaki was MP for Bahati in Nairobi before relocating to his Othaya in Nyeri. Chris does not see anything wrong with this, but continues to see something wrong with Jaramogi reprepresenting Bondo, which he only represented for a year or two before his unfortunate demise. All the other leaders served their home constituencies for life with current President Kibaki now approaching half a century of representing his birth place of Othaya yet Chris see this quite perfect.

There are only 8 constituencies in Nairobi against 210 others spread all over the country. Do we take it that one can only be a nationalist if one represents any of the 8 constituencies in Nairobi? Are the likes of Maina Kamanda, David Mwenje, Norman Nyagah, Beth Mugo or Simon Mbugua all nationalists since they were all elected MPs in Nairobi like our ‘hero’ Mboya? Incidentally Chris, and just for the records ODM boasts the first non-indigenous Kenya MP outside Nairobi through the election of one Shakeel Shabir in Kisumu. Another Kenyan Somali councillor was also elected Mayor of Migori. Can a Maasai or a Luhya be elected councillor and then Mayor say in Mwingi or Nyeri? For ODM, this has already come to pass and this is apart from being the party boasting the most widespread MPs nationally. So which is the tribal party, is it ODM or ODM-K and PNU?

I see your pro-Mboya posts as a wicked attempt at trying to influence young voters through gross misinterpretation of facts. Only the truth (and reforms) shall set us free. Not fables published by Kumekucha and packaged as history.