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Monday, November 30, 2009

Kibaki’s hand in the Mau battle and how history always repeats itself


What many people don’t know about a writer called Mario Puzo is that he struggled most of his life to make enough money to put food on the table. In fact he was mostly unable to feed his own family until the age of 49 when he wrote a book called The Godfather. I love the novel and have watched all the movies based on it from the first to The Godfather III. I even watched the movies with my young son to teach him about life. There is no other movie that I have watched three times and can still watch a fourth time. You can read Mario Puzo’s amazing biography HERE.

With all due respect to some of our commentators here in Kumekucha they need to read the book and/or watch the movies to get into their heads that politics is a very brutal “game” (if you can call it a game). If it is a game, it is the only game I know where you can kick your opponent when he is already dead on the ground and not only get away with it but get wildly cheered for it.

I promised in my last post that I would do some serious digging on the Mau politics (which I am still doing) but I have stumbled onto something major which I would like to share today.

Most of my readers hate history and those who read it don’t take time to study it and instead read it hurriedly to twist it to suit their current political interests and worship of certain individuals. And so bear with me as I go back into history so that you understand what exactly is going on at the moment.

In the mid sixties, shortly after independence, the Kenyatta administration identified the Luo community as the main threat to the long term survival of the corrupt land-grabbing government. They identified one Jaramogi Oginga Odinga as the main threat. This man had handed over the presidency on a silver platter to Kenyatta not because he loved him but just to frustrate fellow tribesman and arch rival Tom Mboya from ascending to the same office. He did it in one move where he stood up in the Legco (the parliament of the time) and said that Kenyatta was “like a God to Kenyans” and there was no way the country would attain independence with Kenyatta still in detention thius kick-starting a campaign for the release of Kenyatta. But after Kenyatta became Prime Minister and then president, Jaramogi quickly got disillusioned with the Kenyatta administration and especially the murderous bunch who surrounded the old man who just wanted lots of wealth like there was no tomorrow and were ready to murder to retain the status quo at all costs.

Kenyatta gave the job of “dealing with Jaramogi” to Tom Mboya who accepted the task with glee mainly because he had a couple of scores to settle. At the same time Kenyatta made it appear that he was a great supporter of Jaramogi and even gave funds towards some of his pet projects. The impression created to keen observers was that there was a power struggle over the Kenyatta succession between Mboya and Odinga senior. It was only much later that those analysts realized that the whole thing had been engineered by Kenyatta himself.

Mboya won that battle and by doing so signed his own death warrant as David Goldsworthy so ably analyzed things for us in his landmark Mboya biography: Tom Mboya: The Man Kenya wanted to forget.

Now let’s fast forward to the present.

Many people do not know it but Mwai Kibaki is facing the biggest political fight of his career. For Mwai Kibaki this battle is bigger than the one he faced for 10 years as Vice president to Moi when he had to survive. He finally lost that one (with lots of casualties including his own father). And it is also much bigger than the one he fought to remove Moi from power and ascend to the presidency. A grand battle where he almost lost his own life. Yep, this one is far greater.

Mwai Kibaki is faced with two major threats. William Ruto and the Kalenjin community on one side and Raila Odinga on the other. Unchecked these two could make his future living hell on earth with a big possibility that the member for Othaya could live out his retirement in the serenity of a prison cell.

Like Kenyatta did in 1964, the president has to decide which of the two is the bigger and more immediate threat. I believe that the president and his close advisors have decided that it is William Ruto.

Now just as Kenyatta had to get rid of Oginga without being seen to be in direct confrontation with the Luo community, Kibaki has to isolate Ruto and somehow retain the support of as many Kalenjins as he possibly can.

And that is how the Mau forest (an issue that the Kibaki administration had ignored for months suddenly swept to the forefront of Kenyan politics). It is NOT Ruto using it for political mileage, it is Kibaki. In one single move Mwai Kibaki and his close political advisors may just succeed in destroying ODM and at the same time neutralizing both Ruto and Raila forever. Interestingly there are many who believe that Mwai Kibak will have no option but to support Raila for the presidency in 2012 (forget it, there is no new constitution being passed, lets wait and see).

How will Ruto be finished? (a commentator said here yesterday that he does not see how this will be accomplished). That is a fair question.

Have you guys forgotten Ruto’s soft underbelly so quickly? It all stems from the way he accumulated his vast wealth so quickly. As you read this the man still has a case pending in court (do you guys realize how rapidly a case file can be retrieved to land on the Ag’s desk through political motivation?). And we have not even started talking about the post-election violence and the ICC at the Hague. One of the two will fell this cocky, arrogant legislator and when it happens all blame will be heaped on one Raila Odinga and NOT Mwai Kibaki. This is significant because it means that with a bit of luck that ridiculous contraption called KKK can survive Ruto’s downfall. The new point man from the Rift Valley may just be Gideon Moi whom as I mentioned here earlier has been on grassroots campaign mode for a very long time now. Or it could be a close ally of Ruto who will castigate “those who finished Ruto” and urge the community to stick to the KKK alliance to seek revenge. All too neat and I have a feeling it is too neat to succeed. In any case it does not matter who the new Kalenjin “tribal chief” will be after William Ruto.

I am very reliably informed that the president’s closest and main political advisor currently is one Ambassador Francis Muthaura (something that I found so difficult to believe that I had to look for a second source to confirm this, which I found). The president’s chief advisor on Kalenjin politics is of course retired president Moi. When you know how these two gentlemen think then it is very easy to confirm or dismiss the contents of this post.

There is one final bit of tell-tale evidence that makes the scenario depicted here very believable. Have you noticed that the relationship between Mwai Kibaki and Raila Odinga has improved dramatically as the relationship between Ruto and Raila has worsened almost at the same pace? That, my friends, is very telling indeed.

55 comments:

Anonymous said...

Well, no one is reinventing the will, the Holy book clearly states a house built on shaky ground will never wear a storm. ODM party was a well oiled propaganda machine whose foundation was lies and hatred that Kikuyu's had taken over the country from the rest 41 tribes. Chris in Kumekucha helped spread the cancer using the pen. He has since apologised for being used by Raila.
Back to the issue, Raila through his mzungu spin doctor preached that song, branding Kikuyu's Kabila Adui and we all know that resulted to the slaughter of 1500 kikuyu's, blood that is still wet in Raila hands. Now, his gang for hire have turned the blade that he used to spill the guts of innocent Kikuyu's onto the fat cellulite belly of their master, one Raila Odinga. Everything goes full circle and those who invested in sowing seeds of discord will harvest a full measure of hatred and mayhem. You do not sleep with dogs and expect to escape fleas. The well orchestrated charade of talking unity to the camera while hiring family members and relatives to plum public jobs is soon coming to a grinding halt with even threats of taking away the PM posts that Raila holds so dear since it has supplied him with VIP toilets, carpets and escort cars.

RIP Raila A. Odinga. Yours will be used as a practical lesson of what goes wrong when one tries to grab leadership by turning brothers against each other. You will surely not be missed beyond bondo and Kibera slums.

Philip said...

Yes history repeats itself but who knew that Moi was going to be removed from power.

Kenya is growing, and as I said in my earlier posts, the whole thing is becoming unpredictable. What I know is that it was a mistake for Ruto to say that we Kenyans missed an opportunity to vote Uhuru back in 2002.

My predictions at the moment is that someone different from the ones we know, yes someone different from the ones we know, is going to win - I will not be surprised if it's Peter Kenneth. Three years is alot and this can happen.

Anonymous said...

Poor Chris,

That story about you watching fiction with your son is to say the least pitiful. If you teach your son about life by watching criminal movies, wrestling and nigerian soaps then i am not suprised with the rate of morons being churned in Kenya.
That said, yours is a late, in fact very late attempt indeed to try to twist history to push forth an argument that aborted before take off. Chris, its about time you realised the Kenyans who used to believe without question your informed sources came to realise you are just a gun for hire ready to write anything as long as the check clears at the end of the month. Your attempt to introduce Kibaki and make him a political genious so that you can finally blame him for the fallout in ODM is pitiful. I thot Kibaki was radarless, appointing people who are rejected the following day??
How has he become an overnight political bill gates manipulating Raila and Ruto who Chris has told us many times are calculating politicians??
Leta ingine and this time round please keep your son out of it!!

Anonymous said...

Chris,
It is pitiful you are using Mwai Kibaki's name in all this murk without a second thought. Kibaki is not interested in any more power. Get this vital fact right: Kibaki is retiring in less than 3 years! So what do u mean by "destroying his political career"? Sometimes u are so pathetic in your so-called "reliable information"!

Anonymous said...

reading the above comments,suprises me.Kenyans taking sides based on tribe and cronies.i will tale the tribalists one thing choose best performers.we know ruto is a criminal,peter kenneth is another criminal from kenya re.Lets just say thus far Uhuru and odinga are the cleanest of the bunch.

Anonymous said...

None of the current political class is fit to run Kenya! We need somebody who is not known, someone like me:)

Anonymous said...

Was this piece written by a kindergarten drop-out?? How I miss Taabu and his insightful writing laced with a pinch of sarcasm. Chris, please spare us this kind of bullshit disguised as journallism. Your piece is so NEEDLESS, meaningless and total nonsense. Its neither based on fact or fiction. Please grow up and spare us your foolish wet-dreams!!!!

Jigga said...

Gideon Moi is just but a political commentator as far as Kalenjin politics is concerned. Criss crossing rift valley holding rallies to bored and idle villagers has not and will never give him any grassroot support. How you came up with the conclusion that he could become the Kalenjin Kingpin after Ruto is dumbfounding.

M-Pesa said...

ODM's internal Mafia-like feuds are just that- political wars in one party called ODM which is about to explode and later be buried six feet deep. General Ruto can clearly see the sign now that he's going down. He will not go down alone and is on a suicide bombing mission.

He desperately wants to take Raila with him by bringing him down using Mau as a smokescreen. If this doesn't work, he will use the dock at the Hague to implicate lots of senior ODM figures with Raila being number one on his radar. This is the reason why ODM's motor mouths on this blog are currently speechless with their heads bowed in shame.

That's why Phil, who is an ODM insider hinted for the first time ever that Raila will soon ditch his party (not a new method for him) and "buy" another one for his 2012 last and major dream. I will toast to that.

In the meantime, let's sit back, fasten our seat belts and watch the slow agonizing death of the "mass akson" party. Good things must come to an end and if Kibaki is behind it as someone wants foolish Kenyans to believe, then so be it.

As I pointed out earlier, Raila in his new vision for the nation appointed thieves, liars, crooks and cheats in his cabinet and the chickens are now coming home to roost. How sad, never mind! I will be the first to urinate on ODM's grave.

Anonymous said...

Remember its only one post ago we were told how Kibaki's schemes are so perfect that they never work.Why the sudden turnaround Mr Kucha?

Anonymous said...

Thank you M-pesa for that! Kula Tano!
We told them last year, they didn't believe it, now those ODMorons must be hiding their faces in total agony of shame!

Anonymous said...

What fallacy is this? Stop diverting attention from the truth and dragging Kibaki’s name in the Mau saga to divert heat from your small go Raila.

Kibaki in his first term evicted settlers from Mau forest. Raila ganged up with Ruto and his allies denouncing Kibaki and introducing hate and tribal politics. When campaigning 2007 presidential elections, Raila and allies perfected hate politics and used Mau to settle scores with Kibaki and assured settlers they wouldn’t be evicted. Raila scored political mileage and won Kalenjin votes. I don’t sympathise with the catch 22 Raila has put himself. Ruto and allies perfecting what their master taught them. Kibaki has last laugh as Raila’s hate politics returns to haunt him.

While I support eviction of all squatters from forests, Kalenjins have learnt a bitter lesson by supporting and heeding Mass Murder call by Raila after he lost elections. They put their lives on the line for a thank-less general.

Raila’s crusade over Mau could be given a holistic impetus if he set an example by surrendering Kisumu Molasses Plant land, which Ndung’u report identified as one many dished illegally out by Moi for political favours. All big sharks still clinging on grabbed land should equally surrender it. That way, poor folks in Mau will feel they are not being discriminated. Writer of Animal Farm novel had Kenya in mind when he wrote about some animals being more equal than others. Mau and other forests must be hurriedly cleared of illegal settlers as well as grabbers of public land. Raila is also a grabber and he should be the first to surrender illegally gotten land.

Between 2002 and 2007, Kibaki was target of heavy rainstorm based largely on malicious hatred and cheap tribalism. Raila was in the driving seat and directed the show as the poor Kibaki was weighed heavily by the malicious propaganda. Mau forest offered Raila and his allies with arsenal to fight Kibaki when he tried to kick out the illegal squatters. Propaganda won Raila 2005 referendum and an outpouring votes amongst Kalenjins. Raila must be awakening to the pain of hatred and tribal politics. Kibaki must be enjoying the show. Raila trying to shut the gate when the horse has bolted!

Anonymous said...

Chris,

If u r honest with urself u will admit that since u came back from wherever u were u hve been giving us a lot of cr**. That is until this post.

This is the first post I have read in kk in a long time and said aha!! at the end of it.

The importance of this post is confirmed by the guy who has suddenly crawled out of the woodwork and started insulting Chris (several comments by the same guy). Somebody is very angry and determined that nobody buys this story here. Why?

Chris, in future we want posts like this one. The test is simple. If the abusive guy writing all those comments does not come out firing from the hip, then u hve written rubbish. If he does then u have stepped on a live wire like u have here.

Don't start those silly self-defensive comments of urs telling us about NSIS. Instead just keep going and concentrate on giving us only posts like this one. That way Kumekucha might just recover its lost glory one day.

Anonymous said...

Nothing new here. Mutahi Ngunyi told us weeks ago that Kibaki set up Raila using the Mau. That is a fact.

Anonymous said...

You and am afraid sometimes I get caught up in this, are all victims of our own self destruction. While the developed world is busy scheming how to further deprive Africa and confine Africans to the doldrums of poverty, we are busy is side shows. I wish we could all see that these schemes fall in place like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle.

How I wish politics could be banned all together and let people work to better their lives.

We have a bigger enemy who we are all afraid to face or are we that intellectually incapable?

Anonymous said...

I am not so regular on Kumekucha but I find lots of comments irritating to say the least. Chris may be out of his mind or maybe out of ideas but the debate cannot surely be about Raila and Ruto. There is abigger picture here which we deliberately want to avoid talking about. And that is the Kibaki factor. For heavens sake he he not still the president? Secondly, who owns the greater share of land in Kenya today? Is he not Uhuru Kenyattas and friends from one region. Do the math and you can recognise why the debate is so skewed against Raila and Ruto and coveneintly avoiding the real cause of Kenyas problems.

rayonn said...

Raila is an astute politician who has outfoxed his foes innumerable times. Predictions made in the past about his fall have come to pass. Remember the maize scandal and allegations made against his family? The most important thing in politics is timing. Martha Karua got it wrong, resigned too early, got a few claps and cheers and a slice of the headlines for a few weeks, and the rest is now history. The Ku klax klan(KKK) trio have also made, sadly. Already we see a wave of condemnation flowing fast. Heck, even Mutula has called their intended vote of no confidence 'petty politics'http://www.capitalfm.co.ke/news/Kenyanews/Confidence-vote-against-Kenya-PM-trivial-6677.html
Their own George Thuo and Uhuru worshipper has similarly dismissed them, not forgetting Supkem's lambasting of Balala. Timing my friend, timing. With a single move, Ruto, Uhuru, Balala and their ilk have badly exposed themselves as powerhungry impatient politicians ready to do anything for raw power. The next few months will be extremely painful as Kenyans slowly digest understand and reject these breed of political thugs.

Anonymous said...

Are you must reading too much into or out of what's going among the confused political figure heads of Kenya's backyard politics?

Reminder:

Kibaki will never walk in Kenyatta's shoes, they are just too advanced and complicated for him to handle thirty some years after Kenyatta's death.

And if you want to know who the real Andolini Corleone and Michale Corlone (Boss of Bosses) of East Africa are, look no further than your next door neighbours, namely, the lives of late Mwalimu Julius Nyerere, Yoweri Museveni and Paul Kagemi. The rest of the current crop of politicians are nothing but amateurs.

lol! It's been saidd so many times that Mario Puzza had no clue of who Bernardo Proverzano was, let alone that he was still alive and on the run for years.

There is no mystery to the current political infighting among some individuals in Kenya.

Why would a man like Kibaki waste his remaining hours on earth on such trivial political matters?

The writing is on the wall, Vito Corleone collapsed and died while playing with his young grandson in his tomato garden.

Anonymous said...

why should any body with a brain stand up and defend the thief. I am without words. I must say i am happy to be living away from this insane population or is it hungry population.still can not figure it out.Get some food in your stomachs and think straight.

Shocked said...

As soon as I saw Raila being used as the point man in the attempt to remove people from the MAU Forest, I knew the ODM was over as a party!
Seriously, no one can survive going against the very people who have given him/her support.
In Rift Valley, land issue is not everything; IT IS THE ONLY THING THE KALENJINS care about!
It is very tragic that Raila and Ruto do not seem to comprehend that two of them are squarely responsible for using and abusing poor Kenyans who danced at their rallies to give them majority to make changes in parliament(ODM voters elected more representatives to Parliament than any other party during 2008 elections).
When you have capital to effect real changes and you let your competitor grab that capital from you, you become a sucker!! Ruto and Raila have too arrogant to remember Kenyans who voted for them and, therefore, are "royal suckers" of all time. They have made a mockery of those Kenyans whose only crime was giving them the votes they wanted.
The appearance of Kofi Annan, the formation of government of national unity, and using the HAGUE as threat to force that unity have all been part of the plan to de-fang ODM. The western corporations do not like popularly elected leaders who may be answerable to a common man! They want scum bags they can control and bully to do things their way. They have succeeded in Kenya! The current government of Kenya is in the hands of people who cannot think straight because of this “Hague” thing hanging over their heads. They are willing to do anything to please the power brokers calling the shots behind the scenes (the multinational corporation using Kofi Annan and Ocampo).
The trophy for the winner of this fight will be land in Rift Valley and Western Provinces. The losers are poor Kenyans who have no one representing their interests!

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/11/22/magazine/22land-t.html?emc=eta1

deroo said...

Okay, it is The Godfather. In that movie, the end result is known and documented as you spend your pastime on a lazy afternoon weekend.

From what was a tittle-tattle bartalk, to chest-thumping, this civil war in the Dictatorial Movement has erupted into a full-blown warfare, pitting protagonists and supporters of the cargage that was the post election violence.

Kibaki, guilty by association for being the president stands far away from this bedlam. In 2005 Raila, Omingo Magara nd William Ruto were at the forefront of condemning the eveictions and life, in its own unfairness has taken a full circle to return and eat up the same people who staopped the eveictions.

That Raila is suffering from this, calls for no apologies. I personally dont feel sorry. Someone has written that he will urinate on the grave, I will DANCE and lie SPREADEAGLED on the grave. I will do a NGANYI (from Western Kenya) RAIN DANCE.

Just save your efforts to dig into the Mau politics, Chris. You will go round in more circles than the waves on the shoreline.

ODM politicians, half of them with questionable backgrounds, teamed up in their march towards the greasy pole and are now singing from different song sheets after they feel short-changed, demeaned and dumped by a man they poured millions campaigning for.

They feel used, cheated, and dumped. Simply dirty. In this one, they will go all the way and with every new day, the plight of the Mau evictees is reported, drawing more and more poignancy.

Chris I will differ with the Odinga bit. KIdogo. The man himself is a beneficiary of thousands of land in the Nyanza sugarbelt and the plight of those in Thessalia should not go unreported in this case. Just leave the man out of this. He died without the public knowing where the Luo Thrift dough went and neither did the charcoal business that was the unifying entity in the 50s.

He danced with the devil, so, he is part of the problem. Furthermore, he once referred to Kenyatta as the Second God. He paid for his Cardinal sin, the same way the son said Kibaki Tosha, in 2002.

As for Kibaki, he does not have any fight. I dont see any. As much as I know, the man is enjoying the game with his feet on the sofa. He is just allowing people greedy of leadership to continue making as many mistakes as possible. The only problem he has, is imaginery (to me) that he will not do what many people from Nyanza have been waiting for. To endorse, campaign and even handover (sic) power to Raila. He will not do that.

After the Kales showed him all the contempt, including boycotting the shrine built for the victims of the church burning frenzy, he feels that there is a bridge and in typical Kikuyu avarice, they are going for this arrangement with the Kalenjins to ensure their stay in Rift Valley is cemented. They have fallen for it hoot, line and sinker!

And with the eldest son even making government policy statements, Kibaki is home and dry. He will leave a leagcy for his people and with that, the Kikuyu and Kales will vote for the same candidate in more than a quarter of a century.

cont...

-Derek-

deroo said...

cont...

At the moment, and as you speak of isolation, the only one taking place now involves the Luo. I dont know, but the only Luo MP to have spoken on the ODM civil war is Raila Odinga and Reuben Ndolo, who like Musa Sirma has no single mandate to talk.

On Ruto and Raila, Ruto has managed one thing hat even his own community thought he would not do. Two months ago, Ruto was not being held with regard, especially among he Kalenjin elites and professionals. They were all pro-Raila or fence-sitting. They managed to question him about the same. He tried it in a big way and decided to dismantle the obstacle that was standing in his way. The Council of Elders.

Thereafter, he constituted one of his own making and the turnout in Eldoret was a spectacle to behold. Not the size, but those in attendance. Kalenjin royalty, Biwott et all, DOD staff Tonje and group and even the sportsmen and it is from there that he got he community backing and it has never been the same.

Whereas he has his soft-belly to protect, the Kikuyu have the Rift Valley to protect. Afterall, everyone, including Kibaki has found it hard to bridge the rift after 2007.

To pen off, the Kalenjin, which includes Pokot are now striving to speak in a single voice and this spells DOOM to ODM.

It is a Kikuyu-Kale game, and being one of numbers, then, they will dictate. With that, Kalonzo Musyoka will be the compromise candidate. And what do you do with pre-election agreements?

"Twenty ministries, eh! Give us this, give Njuri Mcheke this, Kabila Adui this, Balala this (for making noise) and retain your four ministries of choice".

Wonder aloud. What happened to Charles Kilonzo, Wavinya Ndeti, John Mwau and Kiema Kilonzo?

See you Chris.

-Derek-

deroo said...

Rayonn,

Sorry if your are suffering from afterlove. It has happened. Timing is nothing. I dont think you were waiting for Kikuyu to vote for Raila in 2012. You can wait and make the announcment on December 28 2012 and they will not vote for him. Jaruo? Hapana. Afadhari Karonzo

Dont lose sleep...

-Derek-

Anonymous said...

Christopher! that was the funniest I ever read, that you teach your son about life by MAKING him watch Nigerian Flicks!
Bure kabisa.

Now, Where is Sam Okello?

Anonymous said...

M-pesa:
Good points, but honestly...that avatar...off-putting, no less.
Raila needs Dick Morris now more than ever. It's getting tricky.

Anonymous said...

And if you want to know what these thugs calling themselv es leaders think of the people,just listen to what the PM had to say about an impending vote of no confidence in parliament,'that he's not scared to go home,he can after all he can go to Kibera and sell mandazi'!What the f***,does this man think his poor constituents bake and sell mandazi for sport?

Anonymous said...

Kenyans be warned.

Raila may be planning a bloody coup since his chances of ascending to presidency are becoming slimer by day. The man has proved he can do anything to become the countries CEO.
He did it before, he can do it again.

Don't say you were not warned

Anonymous said...

WEWE CHRIS!

Once again the Kumekucha blog is being discussed in the corridors of power.

This post has gotten you into serious trouble. For months those close to the MZEE have been having a ball as all the attention has shifted away from Kibaki stealing the elections to Mau and Raila. People are even now saying that Raila did not win the general elections after all. Things were going just nicely until this Kumekucha post.

Take me very seriously Chris because it could just save your life.

You have exposed and therefore compromised this very important mission.

To be honest even I cannot confirm it but I suspect that the order has already been given to get rid of you. It doesn't matter where in the world you are. They know your true identity and exactly where you are.

I don't always agree with your posts but I don't believe in spilling blood either.

Good luck. You will need it.

P.S. Watch your family too, my brother.

Anonymous said...

anon 9:37,

Good joke there, Chris likes such statements to make his story look valid.
Sorry kk readers who do not understand sarcasm. Anon 9:37 was just doing some literature tricks to ridicule Chris.

Anonymous said...

Yawwwwwwwn ..another bootlick post of ODOMORONS

M-Pesa said...

Chris,

Did you know you are breaking the law by letting your young son watch adult movies like Godfather which is rated over 18? This and similar movies like Goodfellas and Untouchables degrade women and promote violence as means of settling scores.

When the Godfather says to a rival Mafia that "I will make you an offer you cannot refuse", he doesn't mean that the offer is just too good to refuse. No, quite to the contrary, he means that if you refuse his offer, then you are dead meat!

If Kenya was UK or US, those mean looking bureaucrats from the dept of child welfare could have broken your front door and have you locked up. Lucky we live in a banana republic and I doubt there's a child welfare organization in your Mwingi home town.

So next time you send your youngster to the shop to get you a copy of your favourite newspaper, don't whip his backside if he tells you in a heavy Italian American accent to F#$%K off you M@#$%&..."

For those who are clueless about these Mafia movies, here's a clip that involves Robert De Nero and Joe Pesci where they use the word F**k 21 times in just under 2 minutes!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ip2WYXbPuuw

Anonymous said...

what i .know is lthat raila is as good as done, he lost rift valley a long time ago and ui want to tell me kyuks will vote for him, impossible

Anonymous said...

good one M-Pesa,

Seems Chris is raising up a cursing brat!!!! What is funny is that Chris doesnt see a problem with having his son watch a violence packed movie where cursing and sex are encouraged.
Tells you alot about his level of intelligence.
One wonders why some kids are violent even at tender age....where is Mwarangethe to advice these morons???

Anonymous said...

One thing I am absolutely sure is that the so called "Vote of No Confidence" will not go through, that is if it ever were forwarded. As far as am concerned it is just a threat to show the PM how far we can go.

Why? The Kyuks will not allow this. They will not vote it if it ever goes into the parliament. Is it their love for Raira. Absolutely not.

The Kyuks and whoever could've been fanning this hate campaign against Raira may have underestimated the turn of events. No one saw what angle this could take and therefore the script have to be redone.

This is not just an ordinary governemnt. It is a coalition government and toppling the PM now would mean Kibs too parking and leaving the white house on the hill. The Kyuks, Uhuru included, Ruto, Balala and even Mutula Kilonzo are not ready to go back to a new election.

I mean who is. Even the empty debes Kutunyi and Isaac Rutos, as much as they are publicly perceived as very thick and dumb, may become bright on this one.

No one wants to face the electorate yet, and the likes of Michuki still needs the old man on the Hill. In fact as someone said, all they need to do is convince Lucy that she will be evicted from SH and she steps on Kibs sore foot and he stops the game plan.

Am sure too, that Kalonzo will not want to stop being a VP just yet.

Anonymous said...

kalez and kyuks are disconent with how kraila ;is handling issues in the coalition government and a vote of no confidence is a sure method of ridding othe jaluo far away from power

Philip said...

The battle has began. Political re-alignment is taking place. High chances are that Ruto and Uhuru will stay put, which I still believe is a big mistake on their side as it might lead to a repeat of 2002 election. Have you noticed the distancing of some MPs from the alliance?

Let nobody lie to you that the feud between Kikuyus separated by River Chania is over. Mungiki menace even made it worse - I don't think you'll ever convince any Kikuyu that Uhuru is not part of Mungiki. Even those in Kiambu who have been affected by Mungiki terror might vote for another Kikuyu.

Most likely a leader from Kikuyu region will crop up and he'll be the one to pull the Central votes and humiliate Uhuru. If a strong leader doesn't rise then Kalonzo will take the place supported by any other strong leader from the region, unless Raila pulls a surprise, which is unlikely due to what Kikuyus perveived to be his rallying of the rest of the tribe against Kikuyus.

Just the same way Kalonzo was a deciding factor of who will win election, this time I'm seeing it's going to be Raila. What I mean is that high possibilities are that he'll not win election if he stands but he'll lead to whoever he supports to win election.

On tribal factor.

What is likely to happen is that nearly half or less population of Kikuyus will unite with Kalenjins, and the rest of Kikuyus will unite with Kambas. Kalenjins on the other hand will also unite with half of luhyas, while the rest will unite with Luos. Most of the Abagusii are likely to be with Kalenjins, similarly as most of the people in Coast are likely to be with Kalonzo. Now the remaining factor will be where the Luos will go. Just like 2007 where the winning team was going to be where Kalonzo was going to throw his weight, come 2012 the winning team will be where the Luos will throw their weight. But I repeat again, that high chances are Raila will not win by standing for presidency. Let me wait for him to prove me wrong.

Maybe that's the reason the passing of the constitution may be important to him. He will only need to support a leader who will then become a president, and whose party will also have majority MPs, then he'll be put in as PM. That's why ODM supporters shouldn't call Kalonzo "msaliti" because you never know what will happen.

If I consider my theory I also highly doubt if they will ever be a PEV in a magnitude like we had in 2007 as most of the Kikuyus in Rift Valley, no, I mean only those neighbouring Kalenjins, will support Uhuru and Ruto. So will be the neighbouring Abagusii and Luhyas. Kalenjins cannot jump the Kisiis and Luhyas and head to Nyanza to attack Luos and also they don't have a convincing reason to do that will all their energy as they did to Kikuyus.

These are my thoughts, which can happen or cannot happen at all. I'm putting here the possibilities though in the end it's still unpredictable.

Anonymous said...

We should also stop being stupid. Raila does not determine Kenya. Ruto or Uhuru just needs to come to the campaign trail and tell us what value he will add when he is the Prezo.

Initiate campaign messages. Do not wait for your enemy to initiate for you a fodder to step onto and campaign with.

Intelligent people do not do that otherwise Uhuru's opponents would've gone out to campaign using the sale of passat or Ruto's enemies would've used the maize cobs to campaign for 2012. Instead this Raira defended Uhuru (read collective government responsibility) when he said the Passats issues should not allow the PAC and PIC to undermine the DPM and Minister for Finance.

Surely, do you guys thinks we Kenyans are that thick. We have a sick lot who can only stand when their so called enemies fall, but who cannot stand on their own.

Trying to remove your brother's log and leaving specs in your eyes will not buy.

Anonymous said...

Kikuyus will never vote for Raila. And any one who might be inclined to will be easy to persuade merely by running clips of raila and his henchmen celebrating the deaths of kyuks in 2007.

If KKK holds and they fron Kalonzo, they are home and dry. Ans raila can actualize his Kibera dream of selling mandazi. the constitution will be enacted after 2012, under a kalonzo administration. Anyone who thinks this will actually happen is an idiot.

lol, i love the way ODM clings to false hopes about Raila. Without Kales, he is toast. Wacha coast, wacha anybody else. Just Kales alone. He ain't going anywhere.

Anonymous said...

Urgent Announcement

Blogger Phil was today morning admitted at Kenyatta Hospital after suffering from depression resulting from poor fortunes of his political master Raila whom he literally worships.
By the time i type away this, doctors are still debating whether its wise to discharge him since he looks like a suicide case.
Good people, i will be informing you if he is discharged in time to go back to his house in Kibera Ayany.

Laters

Anonymous said...

The problem with Raila is that at one time or another he has double-crossed each and every politician. Even though some, like Mwangi Kiunjuru, are cheering his Mau effort, when the time comes they will drive a political knife in Raila's back.

Second, when it comes to dealing with other communities, besides the Luo, Raila is delusional. He approaches other communities the way he is used to dealing with Luos, like idiotic children. Other communities don't worship their leaders.

Today, he entertains the possibility of Kikuyus voting for him. What would the Kikuyus be rewarding him for? For calling them "kabila adui?" Or is it for the Kikuyus who died in the PEV in RV as result of Raila's reckless campaigns? Tomorrow does he expect the Kalenjins to vote for him enmass? Would they be rewarding him for turning a noble Mau cause into a humantarian disaster, and abusing the Kalenjin elites.

Raila is a man who is ready to get into a pact with the devil just to get power. One time he was asked why he was befreading Ruto (a known thug) and Raila responded that he had an election to win. That is the same spirit that guides him in trying to get into an MOU with the Mungikis.

Let him clear the Mau, assist in making the constitution and then retile and leave the more sober minded Kalonzo to lead the nation across River Jordan. If he doesn't retire on his own, he will be humiliated Moi-style with mud balls.

Anonymous said...

When Raila points at land grabbers does he forget he grabbed the Kisumu molasses land during his marriage to Moi?

Today, the Molasses Plant and the land are valued at seven billions and then he laughs at Kibera people that he might join them in baking mandazis. Raila should learn to cover his full tammy.

Anonymous said...

Phil is also being treated for constipation for over-eating matumbo over the weekend. He treats his anxiety attacks by eating matumbo. Poor fella, worshipping Raila will do him in.

Anonymous said...

If according to Ruto, Raila did not win the 2007 election, so the violence could not have been a spontaneous reaction. to what?? what was the violence for?? was it planned to happen even if odm lost?

ODMorons you have too many unanswered questions!

Anonymous said...

As a Raila worshipper, Phil is in a class of his own. Sample some of what he has been writing here at Kumekucha:

1. That Kikuyus would vote for Raila in 2007 as an in-law because Fidel had married a Kikuyu woman.

2. That Raila was going to be made a Kikuyu elder in Kibaki's home district of Nyeri as a sign that Kikuyus have surrendered to "Agwambo."

3. More recently he told us that when Kibaki visited Bondo it was sign that he would back Raila for president in 2012.

Only blind faith can lead a man to these insane pronouncements.

Anonymous said...

Does anyone feel like doing a memorial service for ODM?

RIP ODM. It was very bloody and chaotic knowing you.

Anonymous said...

I want to confirm the earlier report that blogger Phil is currently admitted at Kenyatta National Hospital suffering from a mysterious disease that doctors are linking to depression.

Eyewitnesses have revealed that the attack was triggered shortly after a meeting Phil had with "the captain" over the weekend where he was asked to urgently identify suitable selling points for mandazi in Kibera.

Unconfirmed reports indicate that both Chris and Taabu flew in urgently to be with him and to supervise his transfer from a 10th floor ward at the hospital to one nearer the ground floor for obvious reasons.

Anonymous said...

anon 4:01,

you nearly killed me with fits of laughter.

quick recovery to blogger phil

Anonymous said...

I AM TIRED OF THE ODINGA , KIBAKI, MOI, KENYATTA FAMILY. I AM THINKING OF ONE NEW LADY IN THE NAME OF HELLEN TO BE KENYA'S NEXT PRESIDENT.

Anonymous said...

CHARLES NAIROBI.
Anon.5.48
Must u be reminded a thousand and one times,what exactly happened Dec 27th 2007 thru to January -The liar was declared a winner...LETS START HERE-the President of Kenya is in office illegally is a fraud!
January 3 2007-WE WERE ALL IN HIDING.
FAST FORWARD DEC 1-2009?
what has changed here is the players or the game?

Anonymous said...

Everyone in luoland is in a panic mood. Oh poor souls!! Hope u learn a lesson not to put all your eggs in one basket.

Anonymous said...

what we need is Ayn Rand!

luke said...

In a popular, widely read and influential family age blog such as this Chris please be promoting African films including our own Kenyan industry
There are so many lessons to learn from Sarafina, Born Free, ManEaters of Tsavo. let your young son be proud of his heritage

Mkenya said...

Pretty interesting facts,and all very true.Ruto and his cronies now wish the earth could swallow them alive.And that Kuttuny guy,who he be talking for? Was the censure motion a test of waters??

Anonymous said...

The most objective analysis on the Mau politics issue via the link:

http://www.nation.co.ke/oped/Opinion/-/440808/816508/-/item/1/-/7luk7j/-/index.html

Anonymous said...

@Mkenya...
he he Politics! Just because Raila is still chest thumping you think he has won? Ruto stepped back because he could not win the no-confidence no doubt, but it was a message that they are willing to go the full mile to nail Raila.

The middle ground is the Rift MPs will support the Leader of Government Business going to the VP of course the motion is driven by PNU (any such motion will have to be non-kalenjin driven for impact and they just lend support)... And that is a quick win and a huge embarrassment to Raila after he had fought so hard in that gallant battle and won for it to be taken by back by disgruntled lieutenants. And now Kalonzo will be back driving government business in parliament.

This is a no win situation for Raila, so better for him to keep appearances, thest thump and hurl ‘vitendawili’. Ruto has nothing to loose. First Raila cannot dare sack him unless (I can bet you 100%) and next, if he were, Ruto would be a martyr.

And… it’s a forgone conclusion that the Kalenjin vote is history for him and the Kikuyu one is a mirage… Plus the fact that someone dared challenge him many times and has won in all the contests, The Image on an ‘Astute politician’ that Chris et. al. like to paint will suffer. Raila lands in Chepalungu to keep up apperances, but the real prop is the GSU, though I must add the Kalenjin will not boo him and they do not boo leaders even if they hate them. Ask Kibaki who with well attended rallies in south rift thought he was home dry only for tens of individuals to vote him compared to millions who voted Raila. The issue wasn’t the Kale’s loved Raila, its Kibaki had made some civil service changes affecting the Kale’s and Raila was the lesser evil. Now Raila goes and touches on Land!!! Disaster – who in hell advices this guy?

Another observation, this a contest of former KANU secretary generals… Raila was there for a while (slightly longer than Ruro as Sec Gen), but he was poor student it seems I love this one…

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