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Monday, March 24, 2008

Curse of Celebrating Half Measures

Kenyans have been reduced to perennially celebrating plastic feats following every self-inflicted crisis in our 45 years history as an independent country. While the whole country was overwhelmed in celebrating a peace deal whose cause needed not happen in the first place, the TRIBAL PRINCIPALS have speedily minted themselves in two sides of the same scoundrel coin.

Our political naivety has left us serially RAPED of our basic rights. Our attention has been cleverly diverted from the ultimate price of unadulterated CONSTITUTION anchored on equity and justice. Meanwhile we are busy overindulging in sideshows as the principals partition our national hearts.

Trust our national calamities to come in doubles. The STOLEN elections were promptly followed by SEXED KCSE ranking. Raping the democratic and professional pillars leaves our national backside not only exposed but stinking to the world with far-reaching devastating consequences. Success premised on DECEPTION at any cost unwittingly seems to be our national forte.

Cheap slogans
Kenyan is headed into the long haul to the pits of self-destruction. The electorate do their bit by ushering in more than 60% of new MPs who amazingly learn the selfish ropes too fast to engage in any course to restore our national pride. All we have are people parading out sweet nothings to soothe the electorates’ egos while the eyes remain singularly trained on feathering their nests.

Change to us means rotating different shapes of asses for the same seat. Just look at the brand new speaker Kenneth Marende defending the obscene MPs’ salary. Learning fast from Kaparo before him Marende has already acquired a forked tongue to effectively warm himself to the bosoms of his subjects.

As Kenyans we are shameless consumers of TOKENISM. Instead of demanding better, we fall over ourselves in licking the bottom of any bowl thrown at us. The 6% economic growth almost succeeded for the decoy it was in persuading us to bend over as the architects pounded us from behind. We are still smarting from the raw wounds.

Make no mistake! We never fail to author high-sounding national policy papers whose spirit and intent are designed to die even before coming off the press. The CDF is a case in point and please spare me the latent insult of a lecture on its noble intention.

Stolen revolution
Kenya is suffering from debilitating effects of botched revolutions. Engaging and appreciating half measures is our bane. We are unrivalled perfectionists of reverse logic. Now the whole nation is a buzz discussing custom-tailored limo for an office yet to be inaugurated. Imagining the price to the taxpayers only leaves the contents of your intestines threatening to explode. The hitherto loudmouths have purchased high density zips for their lips leaving their shameless apologists to masquarade as mind readers.

Two wrongs never made a right and we must remain vigilant in securing the environment that will enable us reclaim our country from the claws of present scoundrels. Our concerns cannot be cheapened to whining. Silence in the face of any crisis is akin to abetting the malice.

The ultimate price of ignoring politics is poor governance whose product is lack of infrastructure for any sustainable growth. We must demand better from our leaders NOW.


Anonymous said...

The custom-tailor-made Mercedes-Limo mentioned is costing approx. Euros. 650.000.-- (sixhundredfifty-thousand Euros.) I do not even dare to give this figure in K.Shillings.

This is outrageous and even the people at the Mercedes Factory could not believe it when they saw the details of the requested 'safety-equipment' outlined to them.

This car will be unique - and so is its price.

deroo said...

Not to insult anyone, Mwalimu Taabu, I think the MPs are less concerned with the remaining bits of the Annan Tea or Coffee Party.

To them, the main thing has been done and there is no need for Phase 3, 5 or even 10 if there was. One of the principals has vene said that the remaining can now be accomplished as the country soothes its scars.

Oh No, not the politicians again. Piddling while Kenya burns!!!!

Curse unto them who serve us with myopic, immaterial discussion about a cavalcade that the PM will be riding in, while Wanjiku sleeps in a flooded ramshackle in a reception centre in the Rift Valley, Onyango cannot take the kid to school since some numbskulls in the name of Mungiki chased the hell out of him in Naivasha, Makokha has borne the full brunt of a double-edged volley of the Sabaot and now the Kenya Army.

Soon, River Nyando will be claiming its path and the poor men and women will feel the force of nature, while Safaricom IPO shares will be floated in the NSE fishmarket!

Ole wao wanasiasa. Musa afanye kazi, baniani apate malipo! Lo, Makubwa Kenya!!!


Anonymous said...

And then there is still the open question about the monthly salary of the new PM (and just as Lucy including also Ida). Wait and keep your breath - including the 'retirement package' and all the rest. Remember that was the first bill Kibaki signed assuring his and Moi's 'peaceful' retirement - and now the same figures will for sure have to added also for the PM - just as he will get the same monthly 'allowances'.

And something more: He will need an official Residence - so a second State House has to be built in Nairobi.

Hold your breath, folks. Great times are dawning in Kenya.

Proud Kikuyu Woman said...

Seconding Deroo and TZ'ans -
makubwa haya! Madogo nafuu.
I hate to say "I told you so" but seems like no one short of the divine will convince us that these dudes are in it just for themselves. Raila almost has the PM title now, security detail that makes you green with envy (sic!). Plus, mother of all coronations coming with the title, not to mention the custom-made limo-but do I say. All this for liberating you from .....Kibaki?
The MPs-salaries that I can only imagine (for now).
Kibaki, well, he's no longer needs to go to a Church or Mosque on Sunday. He's got a new golf buddy in Raila (when RAO is not on the beach).
Relax folks, I'm sure there will be home-coming parties, before some political event or other that requires your vote comes up, then you will be the VIP for a fleeting moment. Good luck to us all. In the mean time, tutazoea.

kalamari said...

Taabu, the funny thing with all these expensive tax-payer-paid indulgences is that the majority of the common men on the street actually feel fulfilled and accomplished when they see their MPs zoom by in the Mercedes S500 Guard Series. Yes buddy, most of us will read the description of Raila's car with pride and a sense of personal ownership. Many will be extremely joyous to see the white-gloved motorcade disrupting traffic all the way to Karen. Don't you remember the all night orgy-like parties in Nyeri when Kibaki was sworn in…it did not matter that it was done in the dark.

Such is the psychological phenomena present in the Kenyan psyche. It is this innate belief that our very own lives extend to those of our leaders that make us take issues like stolen elections very personally. Indeed, our various personalities can be traced to our political parties of choice. We are in many ways living vicariously through our political leaders. We jubilate when they 'prosper' and are in deep anguish and depression when they fall. The NGO report is not out yet, but there are several people who committed suicide when they realized Raila was after all not going to be president. Have you overheard some of the words PNU supporters are using to describe Kibaki? line with his concessions to Raila.

In the absence of worthwhile livelihoods, we seek solace in everything political. Some of us cannot sleep well before we hear the news, read several newspapers or log onto Kumekucha about ten times a day (like I).

With those few words, I'm on my way to my psychologist. I need my political head examined. You see, if Raila's Mercedes gets involved in a small traffic skirmish, I will set my 1984 Toyota on fire…all this to protest the discomfort of Agwambo. The man deserves a concord helicopter…not a measly Benz on four wheels.

Chicity said...

Kenyans and their double standards! Before I go any further, I'll say that it's a ridiculous amount of money to spend (if true) for a country that can't even feed all it's citizens. But I have a question, does Kibaki ride around in a 1978 Datsun with a rusty bumper and a broken tail light? No, he rides around in a S550 Benz like Oprah Winfrey's, a self made billionaire while he's the president of millions of beggars! What happened to the limo Moi left behind? Why was a new one ordered? Do you think his current S550 isn't armored or doesn't have the same amenities! Puuuuhhhleeeze! So let's stop pretending like the purchase of the PM's car is the only outrageous expenditure that the Government has made. For once, stop being selective about the kind of things we choose to gripe about. The same people waxing lyrical about waste were the choirmasters with the "kazi iendelee" phrase for most of the election cycle without raising any righteous indignation about the use of government resources to finance the campaign.

Just for laughs - I have a hard time believing that the folks at Mercedez were taken "aback" with the specs for this car. Trust that they are very familiar with one Vladimir Putin's requirements and these don't even come close! I know you want to create some "outrage" but there's no need to overreach.

Anonymous said...

Kalamari I feel for you and with you - especially your last remark about the helicopter made me think - first once and then twice and then I got it: You and all the others here forgot the Presidential .... sorry, Prime-Minister's .... Plane needed urgently so that Raila can visit his friends in South Africa, Nigeria and Lybia in style.

There are already jokes going around some Western countries about all this. First because Kenya asked some Donor countries for financial support to 'rebuild' Kenya and now their calculation that this money is in reality meant to 'support' the Prime-Minister and the additional Ministers, Assistant-Minister, their increased numbers of official cars, bodyguards, official residencies etc. etc.

Kenya has become the laughing stock of the world.

kalamari said...

Chicity… Vladimir's specs must be within the B7 rating… i.e. the Antiterrorist Protection Series. I've actually googled for more info. See how concerned I am about our son.

In the meantime, most of my extended family's version of night protection is a hinge-less Termite Infested Wooden Door held together with a "Tri-cycle Brand Padlock" (remember the Audi car logo).

Anonymous said...

According to Mercedes, the request put by Kenya for his new car is even including more technical details than the one(s) delivered to Russia, i.e. Kenya is obviously regarding the life of the new PM in greater danger than the Russian President's.

Although comparing these two - Putin and Raila - is a joke by itself, Kenya is not Russia and Russia is not Kenya at least not when it comes to financial and economic strength.

Somewhere somebody here had either drunk too many tuskers or the appointment of the new PM-position had the same effect.

This whole thing is slowly going out of proportion.

But tomorrow is another day. We will finally know how many Ministers and their Assistants including PS and office personnel we will have to feed during the next years.

And then they will also come up with the request for new cars, new houses, new bodyguards, new offices.

The list is endless and hopeless - as is the fate of those in Kibera and all the other slums.

Kenya wake up and start realizing which nightmare this last General Elections has brought on all of us.

Anonymous said...

It is a fact that the expenses to set up the Premiership will be very expensive. From furnishing his office, to staffing it, the vehicles, his residence, his security, I mean the whole 9-yard. This will be very very expensive initially. Before you mongerels go on with the blame game about how all these will be a burden to the taxpayer (most of you live in the diaspora anyway)has any of you paused and realized that the Americans have already pledged to foot all the bills that come with the setting up the PM's office? This includes the office of the PM and his deputies and all related expenses. The US ambassador has said this publicly on more than one occassion, so those of you who want to play some blame games please look elsewhere.

Chicity said...

Kalamari - your concern is duly acknowledged and much appreciated :-)).

As for the extend family, mayo, mayo, mayo! God Bless and protect them. Yes I remember those padlocks. I used a large one in high school to hinder the dorm thieves who were out for my Digestive biscuits and Cadbury's. Hehehehehe! Those were the days.

Anonymous said...

That's the price to be paid for stealing an election. Had the election not been stolen, there would be no reason for the Government to have to spend this money before adequate planning and budget allocations were made. As anon @1:17PM said, the US is paying for it!

Anonymous said...

Kumekucha is slowly but surely losing its relevance. Kumekucha was a premier website when there was anxiety about kenya and Chris did a good job of allowing us to talk without restrictions.
Now Chris thinks he is God and Kumekucha is heaven--gangster paradise, nothing else.

Open up the website and let off the gas peddle of moderation, you are so boring. Let Kenyans talk, you are obstructing know who i am!

Anonymous said...

Anon 2:20 precisely.....Chicity is it a problem coz it is Raila who is getting it?
The PNUists in this blog suffer from Amnesia which is selective...Did i read they are the ones proposing 41 ministrerial positions? I wonder where the money will come from....You see RAO already has a hummer and others so he will not die if you dont give him another one....Look at it this way that Merc will belong to the office of the PM not RAO..Iko swali ingine and by the way the road to Ngong from Karen has already been recarpeted!!!!


Chicity said...

Ivy - I believe it is only "waste" because it's Raila who's getting it. You're right - they're the ones pushing for a bloated cabinet while having coniption fits about the car in the name of fiscal conservatism; like that's a familiar principle in Kenya.

Anonymous said...


Reliable sources have indicated that these appointments will be made after the IPO. Today in the Nation newspapers,RO confirmed that he "doesn't know" when this will be done. The tone was telling.

The ruling elite are not sure/comfortable about RO with the immense powers bestowed in the PM position.
They fear that RO,who is known to be a darling of Kenyans in the diaspora, will yield to the much presure coming through blogs such as this in demanding exposure of the mysterious minority shareholders of Safaricom.

The arguement is that once RO is appointed the PM, he can go against any gentleman's agreement done as concerns the Safaricom IPO.That is why he must become PM after the Safaricom Issue is concluded!
Seems that the chicken has come home to roast!
Aluta continua.

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