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Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Kenya: Unique Land of Fake Miracles

Is There Any Link Between MP Mugabe Were’s Killing and the Recent Reshuffle in the Kenya Police?

Kenya may be known for many positive things including world-class athletes but the BOTTOMLESS PIT OF VIOLENCE we find ourselves in following last year’s stolen elections by Kibaki makes it a first in many realms. Many things happening right now defy any trace of logic or acceptance and must be uniquely Kenyan.

Kenya is indeed a very special and unique country bereft of humanity. Many things that happen in Kenya have never been witnessed anywhere else in the world. Only in Kenya do you get a police force so determined to crash demonstration that they won’t mind lobbing teargas at coffins bearing remains of what they had earlier killed. The sight of frail old mothers choking under the fumes is no reason enough to be human. Kenyans can kill a body twice if only to prove a point. Tear gas the bereaved to aid them mourn better.

Kenya is the only country which can insist on being called a DEMO(N)CRACY under the rule of the barrel of the gun. Add to this the fact that in the whole wide world only in Kenyan do you find an Electoral Commission boss who declares that he doesn't know who won a presidential poll he was tasked and paid to run. The icing on the cake lies in the fact that statehouse continues to be occupied nonetheless.

Lose to win
Only in Kenya do you win elections by losing it. Truly prophetic because the first shall be last. Besides Kenyans have their own sense of basic counting (NOT BASE 10) where two is LARGER than six. If you doubt and get embarrassed please sue your kindergarten mathematics teacher for intellectual damages to your integrity and fame. Ours must be the only country exclusively populated by geniuses, ehe?

Kenya’s transport and communication network puts Japan’s fidelity and premium to punctuality to shame. Sample this: electoral officials in far-flung areas like Wajir, Funyula, Budalangi, Isiolo, and Lodwar relay their results to KICC overnight yet results from Kiambaa (just past Muthaiga estate in Nairobi) take more than 70 hours (three days) to ‘reach’ Nairobi.
Kenya’s sense of political humour is unparalleled. Consider this: only in Kenya do you count 95,000 votes from a constituency with 70,000 registered voters. Numbers surely don’t lie but we can COOK them into a delicious meal albeit poisonous.

Still on the electoral front, only in Kenya do you find a presidential candidate’s name missing in the Voters register in his own constituency on polling day. Derivatives of selective amnesia can be stretched into other facets of life with a little bit of political entrepreneurship.

Reversed popularity must have been invented by ingenious Kenyans. Only here do we the most "popular" party SCOOPING 35 MPs while the "unpopular" hides in shame with a paltry 100 parliamentary seats.

MOU my foot!
Trust Kenyan voters to pay their politicians with their own coin. These scoundrels can form all GRAND COALITIONS they can dream of but lofty tags like PARTY CHAIRMAN means absolutely nothing to the Kenyan voter. How else do you explain the political Tsunami that swept Kombos, Nyachaes, Tujus, Muites, Ndiles and Koigis of this country?

Finally, who said history repeats itself? For who, by whom and for what? Learning from previous mistakes is an alien concept to us Kenyans. Ati the KANU-LDP MOU was dishonoured by Moi. So what? And then the NAK-LDP MOU was trashed by Kibaki. Common, take a walk and smell the coffee. We live miracles and don’t dream them. ODM-KENYA/PNU is union made in heaven and meant for eternal bliss. Naivety is for the politically faint hearted. Deception is the brighter side of industry and grabbing is a constitutional right to stay anywhere. Kazi iendelee.

21 comments:

Anonymous said...

First of all get your facts straight, the ECK actually wrongly witheld the results probably because ODM were trying to boycott the announcements so that the 'wrong' results are not announced. Anyway what got us in this situation in the first place is rightful anger but blind rage. And Raila's name apparently missing from the voter's register. You are stupid to believe sensationalized headlines. It is known only too well that journalists are paid alot of money esp during election time to write what politicians want. This includes a certain lady that is frequently on NTV news. It is so ignorant to think that some one would be stupid enough to even attempt such a thing. The chief opponents name missing! come on get real. What I totally agree with you about is the fact that Kenya has strange ways of conducting business sometimes. But you know what? That is what makes Kenya one of the most intriguing cultures in the world. Its sad that we have become barbarian. . Raila and Kibaki should never be allowed to run in politics again and as for the majority of those MP's they should be thoroughly investigated and if they contributed to the violence in any way they should lose their seats. I hope 2008 brings new hope, because Kenyans seriously need to wake up and smell the spilt blood and putrid rotting corpses of innocent Kenyans who died in vain and have been dehumanised as just another statistic despite the fact that they are our comrades.

Anonymous said...

We need to reorganise Kenya URGENTLY.

We cannot go on without a strong constitution that will enable the people to enforce good governance and accountability in the long term.

Anonymous said...

Taabu! This is taabu. This is trouble. This is not Kenya and what Kenyans do or expect but unfortunately, this is what we've been put into. That is what Kibaki wants us to do and that is why he doesn't even understand why Kenyans are fighting and becoming disobedient.

One other wonder I kept thinking of is this that the Police are killing our people and then turn around and say we are going to investigate. Imagine also this though; that I just hired you to be my police commissioner expecting a pay check from me every month and when I politically eliminate some innocent souls including a member of parliament, you go around investigating it. Do you still want your job; surely I think you do.

How do you you investigate your boss? How do you let your boys kill innocent people and then investigate how they killed them?

Anonymous said...

All is not lost fellow Kenyans. There are some signs of hope to report. Finally, the "Kisumu Dogo" edtorial room at The Standard newspaper yesterday called without caveats for an unconditional end to the tribal cleansings going on in our country. Equally important, Raila has, at long last, realised that "violent only begets violence" and has called for an end to this murderous tribal demon-cracy. It is sad that it has taken the murders of innocent Luos in Naivasha for these self-annoited "paragons" of justice to stop cheering on the enforcers of mob-cracy. If only they had seen the light when poor Kikuyus and Kiisis were being grotesquely murdered in Kisumu and Eldoret, a lot of lives would have been saved.
For those of us who have been calling, from day one, for cessation of this inter-tribal madness, this is not the time to question the genuineness of these late converts. On this long road to Damascus, every conversion should be embraced.

Anonymous said...

anon 8.02 am

I think Raila has been calling for peace all along. This is first time he is doing this.

I wonder between Raila and Kibaki who is actually for peace. How may post-election violence areas in Kenya has Kibaki visited?

Let has forget the past. Both Raila and Kibaki share the blaim in all these. Kibaki knowing well that he did not win the election chose the secret way to be confirmed. Raila could have gone to the courts and call for an urgent judgement of his case. He ignored the legal framework.That was not right.

---Supreme-G.R.E.A.M--- said...

During those tense days that we were all glued to the TVs watching as events unfolded & election tallying, I heard a lady on KTN say "These guys dont know how to rig like Moi used to." As true as it may have been, I think it was very wrong to say. Thank a technical hitch for that.

Listening to Kiss100 yesterday (the day Were was killed) I heard them say that Ngong Rd has become a no gone area. I called afew friends I know who work or stay on that leafy side of town. They all told me that it was very calm businesses ran as usual.

I think it is with this kind of media that we are still having problems and its not a surprise that there are threats to journalist by Mungiki. What do you people think about it? As much as people would like to dismiss it, these people are real and will do as they say.

Anonymous said...

I come from Kiambaa constituency which is one of the most densely populated areas in East Africa. Most poeople don't even recognize the fact that Kiambu town actually happens to be in Kiambaa!

With dozens of thousands of registered voters, dozens of parliamentary candidates, dozens of their sqauabbling agents, dozens of polling stations, you really can't compare Kiambaa with places like Wajir which have just a few nomads and maybe 4 candidates, can you?

On a lighter note, how about giving Raila a spare room in State House to cool his nerves?

---Supreme-G.R.E.A.M--- said...

By the way about the comment on Raila's name missing on the register. I personally feel that was meant to create sensationalism. The register had been split in alphabetical order of the surnames. Raila didnt take his time to understand this and rushed to the headquarters with the press in hot pursuit. This is something that Raila has mastered very well. Keeping the press talking.

How do we heal the wounds of hate that this election came with? I dot think there will be peace even if Kibaki resigned and Raila took over. There would be more ejections of the Kikuyus Kissis Luos and other from placed not considered to be their tuff.

I was just think of how shameful it is that you cant invest in central province or western yet you can do so comfortably in the UK, Japan Tanzania, or even Brazil! Think about it. Let it sink in you and see how we have destroyed this country.

Wafula said...

Domo Domo Domo will lead us to demolition.
Why can't the common mwananchi sit down and reason intelligently that the war is just about the rich and the poor.
Kikuyu peasants were pushed out of central province by landgrabbers inclusive of the Kenyatta family at independence,they ended up in rift valley where they have to share 20% of the land with the kalenjins whilst the remaining 80% was grabbed by Kenyatta,delamares and Moi cronies.
Can't Kenyans wake up from this deep slumber and realise that the majority of those killed are poor people who have nothing to lose and do but attend each and every riot and tribal raids????
I will really respect a leader who will fight for the economic empowerment of the poor majority starting with the enforcement of the minimum wage.Money is like manure, the more you spread it the better the harvest.
What use is the Kenyatta family holding onto huge tracts of land while millions are squatters in their own country?
Kibaki,Raila and Kalonzo cannot be such kind of leaders coz they are just intent on satisfying their narrow and selfish interests.
We desparately need economic power.

Anonymous said...

Any one who is married will readily understand that in any successful marriage there are trying moments and particularly one major fight that determines the future of the union I call it “the make or break fight”. This is the time when the two lovers tread across the very thin line that defines hate and love and both are overwhelmed with emotions to the brink of murder , the woman probably throws a tantrum and packs the kids and goes back to her parental home the man is in a rage and breaks a couple of things in the home and perhaps goes on a drinking binge. If all goes well and the tempers cool down and mediation is called between the in laws these two will patch up and reconcile after common sense prevails and they will realize they are different but one and need each other not only for the sake of their children but for them selves as well. After this they will fear if not respect one another and before neither crosses the line they will quickly think of the consequences and choose to shut up or take a walk and cool off before further action , that is maturity. What we are experiencing in Kenya now can be related to this analogy, so take heart brothers after this “make or break fight” tutaheshimiana Sana and things will be good for everybody including mungiki.

Steve said...

anon @9.35 - Do you really think th courts would judged impartially? How can you trust a judiciary that play to the tune of the incumbent.

Kibaki and his hard-liners should shoulder the responsibility for brining Kenya to its knees.

As this well-written article by Makau Mutua (interim dean and SUNY Distinguished Professor at the State University of New York at Buffalo Law School.) suggests, there are only 3 options:

1. a recount of the ballots to establish the true winner,

2. a rerun of the election,

3. a power-sharing agreement in which Odinga becomes the prime minister and Kibaki retains the presidency but cedes substantial powers to the Legislature.

Unless the two principals respond to Annan, one of the most beautiful places on earth will be left in the ruins of a biblical catastrophe."

http://tinyurl.com/2kd3v6

Karechalre said...

allow me to comment on Were`s death.
As we look forward to by-election, I request that two things be done;

1- PNU should not field a candidate for this by election. This will show the whole country that they do not support the killers and they dont have any hand on the killing. It will be a solidarity gesture to their fellows in ODM. This will be a honourable thing to do.

2- All the past candidates in the December elections (Mwenje and the rest ) that now everybody suspect should not vie for the position. This will clear their names from this killing.

3-ODM should not seek revenge.

Karechalre- ( A luo who has refused to vacate Naivasha because he is a kenyan and is prepared to fight on and die here in Kenya, Naivasha)

Karechalre said...

allow me to comment on Were`s death.
As we look forward to by-election, I request that two things be done;

1- PNU should not field a candidate for this by election. This will show the whole country that they do not support the killers and they dont have any hand on the killing. It will be a solidarity gesture to their fellows in ODM. This will be a honourable thing to do.

2- All the past candidates in the December elections (Mwenje and the rest ) that now everybody suspect should not vie for the position. This will clear their names from this killing.

3-ODM should not seek revenge.

Karechalre- ( A luo who has refused to vacate Naivasha because he is a kenyan and is prepared to fight on and die here in Kenya, Naivasha)

Anonymous said...

Taabu. I think you are only blowing hot air about election irregularities. If you have evidence why don't you file a petition in the High Court rather than wasting your time writing articles based on malice and bitterness? ( Chungwa ni Chungu). Does burning Govt buildings, vehicles, stoning wananching, destroying the railway solve the problems of the ODM? Why can't their leaders put Kenya first? As I am writing this article, I understand Kiyuks have started circumcising jaluos in Naivasha. They have also chased the Kalenjins out of Nakuru. This is all in revenge of their kinsmen killed in Eldoret. Hon Were has also been killed. I understand he was deeply invlved in inciting wananchi against govt. I think peace will come back when the jaluos and Kales realise that kiyuks can also hit back!! Elections will be held again in 2012. Thanks is what our constitution says. Yes 2012. Taabu, I wish you could comment on teh new ODM slogan ..No Raila.. No Schooling ....Please comment! anon

Taabu said...

Anon@2.16 no but thanks I am sorry to disappoint you. I won't dignify your rants with a response, I honestly don't they deserve nor warrant any. Meanwhile keep ranting it may be your singular avenue of exhaling. Just one request though: can you re-examine the mindset on which your post is premised? There lies the answer. Thank you.

Anonymous said...

anon@2:16 you are few of the very backward, retrogessive people. Kenya would be much better off without your likes. Enough said.

Anonymous said...

An excellent post Taabu!! Loved the dark humour. I haven't laughed so hard in a long time. Your message hit home. Just look at the hordes of PNU supporters, bless their light fingers, scowling at you from behind their GEMA tinted glasses. LOL

Anonymous said...

anon@2.16 Kenya would be much better off without your like, very inane and retrogressive in your notions. Any wonder why we are we are right now?

lamentation said...

Are there enough young educated Kenyans, fifty years old or younger, who can unite and get rid of these old "bastardos" who are merely taking orders from neo-colonialist?

These people are ruining Kenya and Africa by using tribalism while our natural resources are being plundered in exchange for foreign aids. Foreign Aids and tribalism are being used to control Kenyans and Africans.

Are there young Kenyans out there who are capable of thinking outside the doom box of "foreign aids andtribalism"?

Anonymous said...

Some of us have invested time, money, effort, prayers and even our careers to help Kenya. And we recognise that things are ugly, but there is greener grass on the other side because we have seen the resourcefulness and enterprise of Kenyans. Annan has pushed that agenda for peace and reconciliation on the long dusty trecherous road for us. Now it really is up to us as Kenyans to take the bull by the horns and prove the world wrong. Whether or not you voted for Kibaki or Raila your vote is essentially null and void. Those young guys burning homes are expressing themselves, but feel they have nothing to lose. They have to be shown what they are going to lose. A safe haven for their future children and family. A chance to actually be able to lead a better life. Definetly im in no position to fully understand poverty, but I can surely say that poverty cannot be fought through war

Anonymous said...

@11.11

I once tried to run a Matatu biz fro Nbi to Karatina. They attacked me, forced me to employ Kikuyu driver and conductor. It didnt take 6 months. I lost the biz but my former 2 employees now have their own fleet of Matatus, I have nothing.

Friends, Kikuyus dont like other Kenyans and that is what we are now experiencing in the political arena. I would rather invest in Uk or even in Iraq, but not in Central Province.

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