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Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Mama Lucy for President



President Kibaki can kill several birds without a single stone. He can achieve this feat by simply propping his wife Lucy to contest the presidency besides inheriting his Othaya seat. The first Lady has all it take; the energy, the language and gender going for her.

Forget about the small storm in the coffee mug where some market (not fish) women heckled her excellency in Emuhaya in Western Province. With a president Lucy, Emilio shall have created a dynasty without breaking a sweat.

What is more, Kenya shall have made history gain after Narc history in having a wife succeed her sweetheart as the country's CEO. And why not if the Argentines have done it with Madam President-elect Cristina?

To all those who champion affirmative action this is the time to walk the talk. Can somebody pass Emilio this gem and he will surely beat the opposition hands down.

Kivuitu smells a rate
Even Kivuitu who appears to know something we don't by claiming that some presidential aspirants who have smelt defeat are mudslinging him will be caught napping.

Fresh and aggressive leader now. Forget the hands-off, people’s choice or Miracle aka servant leader. Give us Lucy. Mama Jimmy for president.

Why Tom Mboya Would Have Supported Devolution




For those who know anything about the original Majimbo debate of the 1960s in the run up to independence, this headline would strike them immediately as being a rather curious one.

This is because Tom Mboya was a strong advocate against Majimboism as spelt out in the Lancaster House independence constitution and did everything in his power to frustrate it.


Another rare photograph of Jomo Kenyatta, Njoroge Mungai (right) and Tom Mbuya behind Kenyatta. There is no doubt on my mind (based on my knowledge of the man) that TJ would have supported Devolution as per the Bomas draft

Still I urge you to stay with me and I will prove to you why Tom would have strongly supported devolution as per the Bomas draft was he alive today.

For starters had he survived the assassination attempt he would have known that the very reason why his life was on the line was because centralizing all the power in one powerful executive office had produced some very predictable results. Thos with the power had abused it and wanted to retain the status quo. Tom dies because he stood in the way.

One of the things that devolution (Kusambaza kwa mamlaka) as per the Bomas draft, will do is to dramatically reduce some of the powers of the presidency (a point most debators on both sides are yet to realize). This dramatically reduces the chances of a kitchen cabinet milling around the centre of power and even if they still do, the impact of such an inner cabinet will be greatly dimished. This is because resources will already be in the districts and ther will be no need for people to attempt to get close to the president to get their share, like he was doing them a favor.

If you read the words in the national anthem (which Tom played a very key role in creating) you will understand what...

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Who Exactly Should Kibaki Consult In Appointing ECK Commissioners?



Assuming that President Kibaki were to consult the opposition in appointing new ECK commissioners, who would he consult? Would the old Narc (the party with majority seats in the 9th parliament) be able to reconstitute itself (in the 2002 form) to propose some names (because currently the old members are spread right across the new emerging political spectrum with some in ODM, others in ODM-K and still others in small parties like Kamlesh Pattni’s KENDA.) And considering that Kanu is now firmly under PNU, how fair would the process be giving so much clout to the oldest party in Kenya?

There is no denying the fact that it would all end up being really tricky.

Still this is not enough of an excuse for the president to behave the way he’s behaving currently. I am really surprised why none of the president’s advisors realizes that this display of arrogance is bound to lose him votes big time. Or maybe some are but are just being totally ignored.

In fact to many Kenyans today, 56 days to the polls a very bad smell is clearly beginning to hit the air from the heart of the ECK. There are just too many things going on that have “rigging” written all over them to ignore.

Let’s forget the attempt to...

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JUST FOR LAUGHS

ODM STATEMENT ON STANCHART MARATHON

POROJO MINGI

ODM regrets to see that tribalism and rigging has found its way into sports The just concluded Stanchart Marathon is a case in point.
Kenyans want to know since when Njoroge's of this world could win such races.
Steadman polls conducted exhaustively before the race showed that the favourite was Kip (Keino,Koech,Ruto,Choge,Tanui etc) ODM'S pentagon has reliably established that the winner Mr. Njoroge is actually a registered voter in starehe constituency and has been spotted in various PNU rallies.
The connection between the winner and the Sports Minister Hon. Kamanda is clear for all to see. This amounts to voter bribery, race rigging and blatant tribalism.

ODM will not condone such. We will match to Kasarani today in protest.
In the meantime, we have dispatched HON Ochilo Ayako to present our grievances to IAAF.
We would like this organisation to take stern action against the Njoroge's of this world and slap a five year ban on them.
We also wish to have all gold medals won by Douglas Wakihuri, Catherine Ndereba, John Ngugi, etc withdrawn because their selection and inclusion into the Kenyan team since 1985 ( 3 years after the coup detat ) had been done without consulting the current members of Pentagon.
Until this issue is resolved by the international athletics community and all our demands met, an ODM government will ban all international athletics engagement by Kenya in the next five years.
We also appeal to the Standard Chartered bank not to honour the 1.5 million cheque issued to Mr. Njoroge.
Failure to do this will result in future stern action ( beginning 2008) in which the bank will join Equity bank in having all its operations limited to only within 10 km radius of Othaya town.

Professor Anyang Nyongo Secretary General ODM Maisha Bora

Taking The Battle To Heaven

As Mwalimu is wont to often remind us, there are no morals in politics just EXPEDIENCE. every scoundrel UNmasked has his/her use, after-all aren't we all children of the most high?we know the almighty does not gamble or play dice and as the all-knowing One surely He has already forseen the future and by now knows who is going to win elections doesn't He? Nonetheless even the almighty God's wisdom cannot deter our politicians who from both sides of the divide seek to curry His favour in hope that He changes His mind-both sides will continue to seek prayers for divine intervention, asking to be granted courage not to give up even when the cause seems hopeless. Eh mwenyezi Mungu hebu tusaidie. God bless Kenya

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Kalonzo's Imminent Defection to PNU

We can now authoritavely inform Kumekuchans that Stephen Kalonzo Musyoka has all but been drafted into PNU and will end up being Presidents Kibaki's running mate. Here's how:

Impeccable sources advise that the next Steadman opinon poll results will see Raila and ODM slip up further, from the current 50% to between 45 - 46%. Kibaki and Kalonzo, on the other hand will increase their polls 42% and 18%. PNU strategist opine, rather naively, that should Kalonzo drop his bid to support Kibaki, it will place Kibaki at par with Raila's ODM and in pole position to retain the presidency.

Enter retired President Moi

It is recorded fact that Kalonzo will do almost anything to get the support of retired President Moi, the AIC church and the larger Rift Valley vote basket. Since the launch of his presidential bid with the 'miracle rally' in Uhuru Park two weeks ago, Kalonzo has been under intense pressure to support Kibaki's re-election. Night talks have been on-going between Kalonzo's think tank and President Moi's on the other hand about the possibilities of Kalonzo dropping his bid in favour of Kibaki. Of course, the Vice Presidency is carrot being dangled in front of Kalonzo's face as well as support for a fore-runner in the Kibaki succession battle that is unraveling right before our eyes. Kalonzo has been promised Moi's support in Rift Valley if accepts to support Kibaki in 2007 and that the Mois will be with him 2012.

The sources further reveal that it is now almost a guarantee that Kalonzo is only bidding his time to disorganise a possible opposition unity and will be announcing the withdrawal of his presidential bid in due course. It is a certainty that Kalonzo will be sitting next to President Kibaki at Nyayo Stadium on Jamhuri Day on 12th December 2007. Incidentally, this is the same day Jomo Kenyatta (and his side-kick Tom Mboya) sadly reverted this country back to a republic from a devolved government in which Kenyatta served as prime minister. In other words, 12 December 1964, was the beginning of presidential dictatorship in this country. Moi was the defector number one from KADDU to KANU.

PNU fallout

This move spells doom for the likes of KANU's Uhuru Kenyatta, FORD-K's Musikari Kombo and Kipruto Arap Kirwa, NARC-K's George Saitoti, Mukhisa Kituyi, Martha Karua, and SHIRIKISHO's Ali Mwakwere, all of whom are in PNU supporting Kibaki's re-election but in reality angling for the VP's docket and hence to become Kibaki's automatic successors.

Unbeknown to many Kenyans, including PNU strategists, the truth is that retired President Moi has revived his own succession plan and is determined to put his people back into power following the abortive 2002 project Uhuru. Afterall, he owes the Kenyatta's (read Kikuyu's) nothing after having left the presidency for Uhuru Kenyatta's taking in 2002. It seems as if the presidency of NARC Kibaki was actually euphoria and is, in Moi's own eyes, a passing cloud, ha!

Questions are now being raised whether political parties in PNU will continue to support Kibaki's re-election plans upon the entry on ODM-K's Kalonzo in to PNU and his appointment of Kibaki's running mate. I doubt if PNU will remain united.

ODM Strategy

Meanwhile, ODM are back on the drawing board following reports of Kalonzo's imminent defection. Charity Ngilu's profile has been enhanced by entry into the prestigious PENTAGON, but it is obvious she will play an important role in curtailing the bulk of Kalonzo's support following him to PNU. ODM are due to hold a public rally in Kitui on 1st November 2007.

It seems many people in PNU are assuming that Kenyan voters, particularly the so called Kamba vote that Kalonzo purportedly controls, will follow them to political alliances of convenience like sheep. This is the same strategy Moi relied on in 2002, only for his preferred successor to suffer humiliating defeat at the hands of a united NARC coalition, and not necessarily President Kibaki as an individual.

According to my forecast, the general elections are a matter of mere formality for Raila Odinga and ODM, and that it is just a matter of time before all patriotic Kenyans troop to congratulate Kenya's true freedom fighter upon his inauguration at Uhuru Park in the new year. Raila himself told us that this is a marathon and not a sprint. Watch this space.

The Law is a Coloured Ass



With Samuel Kivuitu's tenure coming to an end 25 days before this year's general elections slated for December 27, the political stakes are threatening to hit the roof. Raila and Kalonzo may have shown their unity in desperation but Kibaki has already shown who is in charge by sending home Kivuitu's deputy Mukele and five others this week.

Among all the present ECK commissioners, only Kuvuitu, Kihara Muttu and Jack Tuma have handled elections before. Well the President has done nothing unlawful and all his apologists will shout 'it is his prerogative'. But come to think of it. Political maturity, sanity and tranquility is nurtured more on perception of fairness than on mere lawful deeds.

Every constitutional office comes with commensurate responsibilities most of which are extra-legal. Loss of trust is the price you pay for sacrificing goodwill at the alter of playing plastic fidelity with the law.

Law or the box?
But just a minute. The Kenyan law stipulates 5 years for tenure of ECK commissioners. So reappointing Kivuitu would takes him to the next election year 2012 when political tension will be predictably back with us. Speak of being trapped in a perfect vicious cycle.

True, Kivuitu's present position makes him vulnerable to forces he is meant to serve independently. And yes he is an epitome of a rich institutional memory on elections. Removing him at this hour would definitely undermine public confidence in the ECK as the ultimate arbiter in the forth coming polls especially if Kibaki predictably elevates his lawyer Mutttu to ECK chair. What to do?

We cannot afford any productive lives with the present Kenyan constitution which is not only expensive but a fossilized Lancaster document. Any useful change in governance must start with a new constitution. To be honest the root of all tribal and political tension can be raced to selective application of our laws.

We are collectively victims of political expediency when leaders violate the law or apply it selectively. A new constitution will guarantee prosperity to all Kenyans regardless of who is the occupant of State House.

Israel, Italy and Japan change governments virtually every year but remain very stable thanks to established institutions. We need a new constitution now and not tomorrow. But who will deliver us to Canaan? Or put differently who will BELL these cats (scoundrels)? Any takers out there? God have mercy on us, God save bless Kenya.

“Leakages” Rampant In This Year’s KCSE Exams




The KCSE (Kenya Certificate of Secondary Education) exams started last week on Monday and have therefore entered their second week as from yesterday.

I have just received information that several schools in a certain region of the country had in their possession one of the Mathematics examination papers that was done recently. One school even “revised” the paper in detail very early in the morning on the very day that students were to sit for the exam. They revised the paper with their Maths teacher!! Can you imagine that? And sure enough, to nobody’s surprise the exact paper they were revising is what came as the exam.

This has led me to make a few more enquiries and I have discovered that these “leakages” are now very “normal” in the country with many students purchasing papers for about Kshs 3,000. In fact many schools last year were not ranked because of massive leakages, however the results of individual students in those school were allowed to stand.

Even spirited efforts by the Kenya national Examination Council this year to clamp down on cheating do not seem to have yielded much because the “cancer” has spread too far and wide to be stemmed easily.

I find this very difficult to absorb because when I went to school, things were not like this and in fact we used to frown on examination cheats. Now it seems that the practice of cheating has become as acceptable as corruption has become in the country.

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Preparations For 2012



Let me admit my friends that I was really put off balance when it became clear that because he fears for his life, it was not possible for my preferred Presidential candidate John Githongo to show up for these general elections. I sincerely believed that he was the best chance for change in Kenya, and even if he had ended up not winning the presidential race, he would have helped the entry of a new generation of politicians into the political scene in Kenya.

Alas that cannot be now, and so I have been forced back to the drawing boards and the game plan is finally becoming clearer to me.

Kumekucha will now support principled individuals who represent true change, irrespective of which political parties they belong to. The idea will be to get as many new progressive faces into the 10th parliament as possible and also as many women candidates as possible because they seem to be more mindful of the downtrodden voiceless people of Kenya and less likely to forget the reasons why they are in parliament.

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Is The Catholic Church In Kenya Divided Along Tribal Lines?



Clear evidence is now emerging that there are senior bishops within the Catholic church who do not agree with Cardinal John Njue on the issue of a devolved government usambazaji wa mamlaka and that the statement he read may not in fact be the view of the Catholic church in Kenya after all.

Archbishop Zacchaeus Okoth of Kisumu said on Sunday that as far as he is concerned the views stated by Njue are personal views. And he even gave a very good reason for his position. He said that there was no pastoral letter (the usual instrument used to state the church’s official position on any important matter.)

In fact the cardinal has put “jimbos” of the Catholic Church into some serious problems with his careless remarks and many of his colleagues are hard pressed on what to tell faithfuls, especially in regions that strongly support Majimbosim.

Cardinal-designate John Njue’s position calls for lots of wisdom and many times it is not wise to declare a personal stand on sensitive national issues when you know very well that they will affect some of your members and divide the faithfuls. Yet Njue went ahead and did just that, for reasons better known to him.

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Phil You Were Right And I Was Wrong About Majimbo



Those who know me well know that I usually have no qualms admitting my mistakes as and when I make them. In this regard I was wrong about Majimbo and devolution in the Kenyan context as per the draft Bomas constitution being the same thing. They ARE NOT.

You were right PHIL. And I was wrong.

I have been convinced about this by an authority on the matter, Law scholar Dr Patrick Lumumba or PLO as he is known to many, who was amongst the architects of the Bomas draft and an aspirant for the Kamukunji parliamentary seat.

Lumumba says that there is a huge distinction between the Majimbo (federalism) system of government in the Kenyan context. This is because in Kenya it means balkanization of the country into ethnic and tribal enclaves.

However true devolution and with the variants applied to the draft Kenyan constitution it means a trickle down of political and economic power to the grassroots. The right Kiswahili translation for devolution here is usambazaji or ugatuzi wa mamlaka

Phil who also supports devolution in Kenya or Usambazaji wa mamlaka was of course spot on all along.

I apologize to all you Kumekucha readers out there for misleading you on this very important national issue. Kindly accept my apologies.

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DON'T HEAL LIGHTLY THE WOUND OF MY PEOPLE

Address to Kenyan professionals.
By NJONJO MUE


Garden Court Southern Sun Hotel, Milpark, Johannesburg, South Africa
Thursday, 25th October 2007

Ladies and gentlemen; fellow countrymen and women, good evening.

It is always such a delight for me to be back among friends in Johannesburg and I am immensely grateful to be able to share this evening with you.

As some of you know, this is a homecoming of sorts for me. I lived here for almost five years between 1997 and 2001, when I worked as Head of the Africa Office of the freedom of expression watchdog, ARTICLE 19. It was during the same time that many of you relocated to Johannesburg from an increasingly troubled motherland.

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Monday, October 29, 2007

Vijana Wagutuke na .....

Reddykulas celebrity John Kiarie aka KJ has joined ODM with eyes trained on dethroning Beth Mugo in Dagoreti. After being a major player in the countrywide Vijana Tugutuke campaign, he has finally decided to soil his hands and be part of the act.

KJ's entry into politics may just usher in fresh touch to our politics. Whether he is only fulfilling the adage of mtoto wa nyoka ni nyoka by taking after his father Ngethe who was an also-run presidential candidate in 2002 or he is the epitome of a smart mass mood reader who knows when to translate comedy fame to REALPOLITIK only time will tell. All the same his plunge into politics is the REAL head on collision he has only been caricaturing in the Buzz magazine of Sunday Nation.

We can only wish him well together with other youth like Mdomo Baggy (Kamkunji) and Kajairo (Embakassi). They are our face whom we owe support to champion our course hijacked by scoundrels.

Kibaki's lawyer reappointed commissioner
Meanwhile Kibaki has defied all pleas and sent home 5 ECK commissioners. Even Habel Nyamu could not keep his job after penning flatery articles in praise of the present regime. Kibaki has retained his lawyer Kihara Muttu who was elected last week as the ECK chair.

And there starts the stench from the dead rat. With Kivuitu's term coming to an end on December 2, he is staring fire in the face and Muttu may be ace up Kibaki's sleeve to do the necessary as ECK boss. We are living in interesting time and only God can save Kenya.

Uprooting the Mugumo Three




By Wanjiru Kinuthia-Hussein

Watching the events unfold as the countdown to this year’s general election calls to mind scenes from the last 44 years of independence, struggle for liberation, bad governance and prosperity for the few After Kenyans unanimously kicked the Kanu government out of office in 2002, it may be surprising to witness the elected officials who were mandated to ensure Kanu was kept out, inviting the same group to form part of our government.

But let’s delve deeper to try and understand why this happened, on whose mandate did the elected officials act? Was the ballot loud enough in the last polls as to who Kenyans wanted in their government ..... the most pressing question is ......Of what does this new Kibaki-Moi-Uhuru axis represent?

May be someone was right when he said "Removing Kanu from power is like cutting the mugumo tree with a razor blade." And yes Kenyans in the last liberation may just have cut the mugumo tree with "not a razor blade" but with a power saw. So now what is being witnessed is the mugumo tree shooting and trying to rise once again.

So the time has come to not cut it once more but to UPROOT it from its foundation "roots" and all that it stands for. In My opinion the "mugumo tree" now represents the three richest families in Kenya. It is also the families who have ruled us for the last 44 years and yes the families who own the most land in Kenya.

In his Book, "The Elusive Quest for Growth" William Easterly describes his World Bank visit to Cairo in Egypt in a conference to study the wealth and poverty of nations; he says that Cairo throws back the same question at his team. "Why is Egypt so poor four millennia after the pharaohs built the pyramids?" And He responds "a quick back of the envelope answer is INCOME DISTRIBUTION".

The Pharaohs had everything and the masses had nothing. The Pharaohs enriched themselves with the labor of the masses. Rich elites do a fine job of erecting monuments for themselves and selecting polices that ensure the status quo is maintained at the expense of the larger masses. So prosperity for the few in Egypt has lasted four millennia but the majority prosperity remains elusive.

So the time is NOW for Kenyans to choose prosperity, to choose to destroy the status quo and to choose polices that equitably distribute income. We need to choose leaders that will break this vicious cycle of rich few and put us on path to prosperity for all. Is it a wonder the poorest areas of our nations (Nyanza, Coast, North Eastern) have remained so each successive government? There is only need do one thing this December "UPROOT THE MUGUMO TREE" once for all.

Final word of caution to the voters. Most ambitious people have realized being in parliament is a career in and of itself and a sure way to enrich themselves given the perks earned by MPs. Be wary of wolves in sheep’s clothing, who purport to represent you but are only preying on your vote for what it can do for them .... You know who these are .....

Should Raila Odinga Abandon His Plan To Venture Into Enemy Turf?




It is quite clear that those mapping out strategy for ODM presidential aspirant Raila Odinga must include a very serious think tank who know exactly what they are doing.

Quite a number of very interesting moves made by Raila recently clearly show this. Before I go into them let me make a very important point here. Many people leaving comments here have been eager to claim that this blog has degenerated into an ODM campaign tool. Naturally these persons have the right to express their views no matter how false and misplaced they may be. And irrespective of the fact that the possibilities are high that such comments are made with a clear agenda against this popular site in mind. However I would like to point out that I have made every effort to keep this blog as balanced as possible. I have done this by including in my team of commentators who can make comments without my approval, people of divergent views. Proud Kikuyu Woman (is a self-confessed strong PNU supporter) while Vikii is a die hard ODM-Kenya man. Taabu is “horseless”, meaning that he is not backing any presidential candidate. Phil is of course ODM damu but is a skilled debater who often disagrees even with other ODM supporters on certain details and issues. Luke aka “admiring economic growth” also says he is “horseless.”

The other thing I have done is to favor PNU commentators who leave comments here and allow the kind of comments I would not allow from ODM supporters. I do this deliberately to create a balance of sorts because the PNU side is a little short on ideas and debating skills as has been evidenced by the quality of debate from their side both in this blog and nationally, right up to the very top. I am NOT being biased just do an audit in this blog of the abusive comments and language and you will clearly realize that virtually all of them are from one side.

Having said that there is absolutely nothing wrong with this blog siding with a candidate of its’ choice. Newspapers and media houses in the most developed democracy in the world , The United States, usually back presidential candidates after carefully scrutinizing their policies. The only thing I want to emphasize is that if and when we make such a move we will announce it publicly. I take this opportunity to urge all others participating here to always state their agenda and position clearly when making comments.

Like the time recently when I declared...

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Kumekuchans seek to sponsor Parliamentary candidate

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I thought I saw Artur Margaryan

I have been quiet busy lately but at least I can find some time to blog and share views on politics and other issue happening around. I was with a colleague in Industrial area last week, there was a small jam on Enterprise road, on the other side of the road I stared at 2 strange men in a partly tinted silver Forester, one looked very familiar. They were bald with very dark sunglasses. I concentrated on the one in the passenger sit more than the driver and started wondering silently where I had seen a similar face. Apparently the guy also looked at me strangely.

When the vehicle passed ours and just when I was about to ask my colleague if she saw what I saw, she just burst out “did you see that guy” pointing at the silver vehicle moving in the opposite side. I said yes, then she said “he looks like Atur Margaryan”. I couldn't believe she also saw what I thought I saw.

May be we were wrong but there is a high possibility that he’s around. Time will tell.

Sunday, October 28, 2007

Kam Lets Party Dear Linah



The first Minister from the Marakwet community has also become the first party leader from Rift Valley after Moi. Linah Kilimo has defected and become the deputy national chair of Kenda Party whose chairman is Kamlesh Pattni aka Paul.

The smart wheeler dealer Pattni must be a savvy Kenyan with his eyes trained on results. After his third visit to Marakwet East constituency in under one month, he netted his priced catch whom he officially received at Chesoi trading centre at the weekend.

In endorsing Kenda's manifesto, ex-minister Jebii declared it is people friendly and suits the needs of her people. After consulting community leaders, ex-Mama Orange now has a party to politically bargain with while campaigning for Kibaki.

First stone
While Linah may be selfishly accused of party hoping, may the first saint of political fidelity cast the first stone. Predictably all politicians accusing her of plural loyalty will have all their stones 'unthrown'. As the theatrics enter penultimate stage, we haven't seen anything yet. Na bado

Goal Harvesting Week




What a goal scoring jamboree it was this past seven days? Arsenal stamped their authority on European football by thrashing Slavia Prague from Czech Republic 7-0. Arsene Wenger boys’ margin of victory equalled the biggest win in the Champions League in which Juventus demolition of Olympiakos in 2003.

And it was a week of victorious history. Manchester United appear to rediscovered their form by scoring four goals a piece in their last four matches. That is a feat the Reds only managed 100 years ago.

Chelsea crowned the historic week by humiliating Manchester City 6-0. Anytime the powerful Drogba scores, echoes of Mourinho would reverberate at Stamford Bridge albeit in loud silence for fear of spoiling new Manager’s (Grant) party. Boy, the Jew relished every second of his first real sweat victory. Hi smile from ear to ear on camera attested to his silent resolve to bury Jose's ghost.

Arsenal’s rise this season is phenomenal. Their form is testimony to what measured experience can achieve. While last season all the Gunners had cow under Thierry Henry’s towering shadow, Emanuel Adebayo and Cesc Fabregas are brilliant this year. Those who rushed to write Arsenal’s epitaph when Theirry decamped to Barcelona last summer are having second thoughts.


Golden boys
Considering that Adebayo and Cesc are only 23 and 20 respectively, Wenger’s must have celebrated his growing younger strategically last Monday on his 59th birthday. And if Wenger boys’ topping the Premier League table was attributed to mute opponents, then Cesc’s late equalizer for Arsenal against Liverpool this evening is enough proof the boys have matured into men.

Meanwhile Sven Erickson’s honeymoon at Manchester City’s could as well be over. The thrashing by Chelsea was a product of COLLECTIVE INEPTITUDE among his new signings. Once his new kid on the block Elano was man-marked, City’s goose was effectively chased, cooked and digested.

As the Premier League enters the penultimate stage approaching crazy Christmas fixtures, the championship is shaping with new threats like Blackburn emerging from the shadows of the traditional big four.

Meanwhile Bottom(Totten)ham Spurs’ fate is still up in the air and proof that no amount of money can buy history nor legacy. Spur’s new boss Ramos who costed £6 million from Savila, lost his first game against Blackburn today.

Kumekuchans Seek To Sponsor Candidates For MP



Okay Luke and company… I have finally thrown in the towel and agreed that we need to focus on 2012 to get the right kind of candidates into parliament.

However I hope that you agree with me that that does not mean resting until the 2012 elections is around the corner. Work must start NOW!

For starters we should all work as hard as possible to get as many progressive candidates into parliament as we possibly can. Irrespective of what political parties they are standing with. We will openly campaign for such candidates. PKW (proud Kikuyu woman) I am with you concerning your preferred candidate for Kieni. Can you please start posting info about them here in Kumekucha or pass it on to me via email so that I can organize it for posting?

I also have a preferred candidate for Cherangany, but first a little background on this constituency. News from the ground indicates that Kipruto arap Kirwa will have great difficulties making it back to parliament like many others who were in the Kibaki cabinet. Interestingly for the first time in his long political career Kirwa was actually booed by a large crowd two days ago. This is very ominous for a candidate who has been very popular in the past.

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Majimbo Jokes



Some of these statements are not really jokes because some Kenyans and politicians have been heard misinforming others with them. Still it is Sunday, please ENJOY... whichever side of the divide you fall.

Majimbo will cause marriages to break because if you come from a different Jimbo from your wife, her jimbo can easily direct her to divorce you the “foreigner.”

Majimbo is good because Kenyans will be able to get passports faster since you will require a passport to travel from one jimbo to another.

Majimbo is bad is because it will cause suicides to increase over jealousy as a hated tribe does a better management job than a previously chest thumping good for nothing one.

Does the constitution allow intermarriage between people from different jimbos?

Majimbo is bad because certain jimbos will make circumcision mandatory while others will make circumcision illegal.

I am married to a lady form a different Jimbo, what Jimbo will my son belong to?

Majimbo is bad because criminals will be committing a crime in one jimbo and then running to another.

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Saturday, October 27, 2007

African Tribes Secret Sweeps German Widow Off her Feet on Safari As She Finds True Love

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Fashion designer Anna Trzebinski (pictured Kissing her African tribe warrior in the bush) found love in the wild African jungle of Kenya.

Born in Germany, she moved with her family to East Africa and grew up near the idyllic setting made famous in the movie "Out of Africa." And at the tender age of 24, she married Tonio Trzebinski, a Kenya-born artist, and had two children in quick succession.
"What I wanted to do with my life was to support his career as a painter, she told a newspaper recently. “But it was difficult at times, that's for sure. I was often very unhappy. I don't think I'm different in that from any other woman."

That is, any other woman whose husband was having an affair. Trzebinski's discontent grew as her husband's attention wandered. The bubble burst when, one night almost five years ago, he was shot dead on the way to visit his lover.

The slaying, still unsolved, destroyed Trzebinski's world. It also rocked the international jet set.

"And before we knew it our life stories were plastered across newspapers all over the world, including Vanity Fair. I was reading about my life in a way that I didn't see my life at all."

She would never have imagined that her husband's death would transform her own existence.

Emotionally numbed by the pain of her husband's death, she turned to the African bush for solace. Along with some girlfriends, she went on safari in the remote high desert of northern Kenya.

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Trzebinski said, "We had walked for 8 hours and were hot, tired and exhausted. We took our shoes off, laid under a tree, and it was actually one of my girlfriends who turned and said, 'Oh my goodness, who is that person?' And we all turned around to look at him, and I was like, 'Yeah, who is that person?'"

Loyaban Lemarti was the name of the 6-foot-1-inch warrior, an aristocratic member of the Samburu tribe. His handsome looks attracted their attention. It was love at first sight.

Not only was Lemarti a hunk, he was 10 years younger than Trzebinski. He revived her sagging spirits. They took long walks together, conversing in Swahili, and their love blossomed under the African sun. Lemarti told her he didn't want to be without her. He made a big sacrifice by moving to Nairobi. Then, they decided to get married.

They tied the knot in a three-day traditional Samburu ceremony with hundreds of guests, including waves of women who had walked eight hours to get there. Trzebinski wore 40 pounds of beadwork and a bull was sacrificed in her honor.

Then, she settled with her new husband in Nairobi where the noble warrior traded his spear and his Swahili for blue jeans and English, which is getting better every day. The two are living very happily.

"We both feel very strongly that because it was quite unlikely that we should meet we were meant for each other. I've never felt so fulfilled and so safe and happy in my life."

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A Real Life Masai Story From Kenya: What To Do When Your Neighbor Falls Madly In Love With Your Wife

African Tribe Secrets: Bizarre Masai Sex Traditions

Masai African Tribe Sexual Secrets: Sex Tourism And The Nude Tribe That Attracts White Women Tourists Like A Magnet

Changing Fortunes, Voter Become Boss



How times change? It was a humbling experience listening to the hitherto combative ex-security minister Christopher Ndarathi Murungaru on radio implore the Kalenjins to change their hearts and vote for Kibaki.

Only election time has the magic to make our politicians appreciate their voters as the boss. Flanked by the diminutive ex-PC Joseph Kaguthi and Kanu chair Uhuru Kenya, Bw Murungaru figuratively went down on his knees to seek understanding and forgiveness from Rift Valley voters. What of the risk vote basket proving a nightmare for PNU even with propping of ex-President Moi?

Three musketeers?
The trio used the Kass FM studios to implore their targeted listeners to understand the origins of the hostility between the Kalenjin and the Kikuyu. Boy, is it becoming desperate with plenty at stake?

Contrasting Hon. Murungaru's passionate plea with the rivers of sweat in his glory days threatening to kusiaga, kusakanya and kubwaga press leaves you with apt description of scoundrels. Leaves you wondering, is it a case of desperate moments calling for desperate measures or chicken coming home to roast?

The beverage advert couldn't have put it any better: IMAGE/PERCEPTION IS EVERYTHING. Going on air on KASS is one open admission (nay acceptance) of tribal tension and perception. Having three people sharing the same native language convince another to think outside the box is a paradox of sorts if you ask me.

Either way the strategy could backfire given the selection of the three and their place of birth. Na bado.

Did Kumekucha Know The Election Date All Along?



Many of our readers noticed that after the ECK Election Day announcement yesterday, our election countdown counter in Kumekucha did not need to be changed or altered in any way because we were spot on all along and once again we’ve been proved correct in our deductions and predictions.

Little wonder that an increasing number of Kenyans are looking to Kumekucha before making any important decisions. Or when they want to get information that is not in the daily newspapers.

This post is dedicated to all you wonderful dedicated informers out there who make this possible. I will use the words you always love to hear. My lips are sealed and your identities will forever remain secret. Thank you very much.

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Why Is John Njue And The Catholic Church Leadership In Kenya Being So Hypocritical?



Within days of being appointed only the second Kenyan Cardinal ever, John Njue has made a major goof that paints the Kenyan Catholic Church in very poor light.

Twice in public he has expressed his personal feelings about a very sensitive political issue, namely the proposed Majimbo form of government. Firstly on the day he was appointed, a journalist asked him about the issue and without thinking he blurted out his personal views showing clearly that he was against it. Yesterday Njue called a press conference to repeat his personal views but this time told the world that they were the views of the entire Catholic Church in Kenya.

Kenyans are generally a very religious lot but these developments have angered and confused many. Firstly this latest development is behind a backdrop of some very strange behaviour the Catholic church has displayed ever since President Mwai Kibaki took over power in late 2002.

During Moi’s tenure this church was at the forefront of criticizing the government and speaking out on behalf of the down-trodden masses of Kenya. Many have fond memories of the church coming out to talk very strongly against the politically instigated clashes in the Rift Valley at the onset of multi-party democracy in 1991. The church spoke when nobody else would dare speak and many Kenyans were very grateful for that. This is why the relative silence of the Catholic church during President Kibaki’s watch has been deafening to say the least.

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Majimbo Constitution Will Birth A New Breed Of Kenyan Politicians



Let me declare today that it is my personal view that Majimbo is so important for Kenya that I will no longer be neutral on this particular issue here in this blog. Instead I will be a strong advocate and will do everything in my power to convince Kenyans of the merits of this system.

One of the great weaknesses we have had as a country is that we lack administrative politicians.

Let me explain. MPs and even councilors are basically legislators. Their powers are very limited to impact life directly on the ground. The Constitutional Development Fund has changed that somewhat but not enough.

With the implementation of the Bomas draft and the introduction of a Majimbo system, we will usher in a brand new kind of politician. What I call an administrative politician. For example the person elected to head a district will have to tackle the problems of that particular district together with his elected District government. This will be the perfect breeding ground of future presidents. Not only that. Ideas that have been successfully in a district can later be easily implemented nationally for the greater benefit of the people of Kenya.

It is interesting that the argument that is frequently being used is that the system is expensive. Let me ask a simple question. What is more expensive for the country; untapped potential countrywide or some extra administrative charges to set up the new system?

My prediction is that shortly after the Majimbo system is implemented in Kenya it will be so successful that it will be copied all over Africa and beyond. Before you scornfully dismiss that one just remember how many predictions we have made here that have come to pass.

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Why Can't Our Catholic Bishops Emulate Father Kaiser?

As debate about majimbo dominated the news in the recent past, various injustices were taking place in the country while the President and his ministers were on the campaign trail.

Only a few days ago, while parts of the country were on fire, the Catholic Church Bishops led by one Cardinal designate Njue, were busy speaking strongly against pre-election pledges by political parties instead of condemning the government for failing to provide adequate security to Kenyans being needlessly killed, maimed and displaced in their own motherland. Where are religious morals? It is ironic because some victims of violence have been crying for the spirit of the late Father John Anthony Kaiser to save them. Father Kaiser, a catholic priest, was well known in sheltering victims of political violence in Rift Valley in the 1990s. Our own African bishops have maintained a studious silence as people die in various parts of the country.

Last week, armed raiders attacked Kamwaura Trading Centre in Molo area and set ablaze ten houses before fleeing with seven cattle and household goods. Two people were killed and several others injured. Before the residents could recover, four more houses have been burnt down in the troubled Kuresoi area in Molo District. Thankfully, the burnt houses were unoccupied after terrified residents took cover in local churches and the DC’s compound. So far, there has been no word from government or any of our so called mainstream churches.

As if what is going in Molo is not enough, at least seven persons, including a local chief, have lost their lives in Mt. Elgon district in the month of October alone as a result of politically instigated land feuds. In the previous month (August), about ten other persons were killed by raiders known as Sabaot Land Defence Force. The SLDF is seemingly in charge of security of that area as the local police and District Commissioner watch helplessly.

Mt. Elgon has not known peace for the last one year and about two hundred people have been killed since fighting broke out in December 2006 following inter-clan disputes between the Soy and the Mosop communities over land allocation politics in the Chebyuk Settlement Scheme. All form four and standard eight examination candidates have been transferred to other districts and close to one hundred thousand people have been displaced from their homes. Is this really Kenya one may ask?

Press report this week indicated that tribal clashes victims in Enoospukia are still awaiting for President Kibaki’s promise to re-settle them and provide security during the time he was the Official Leader of Opposition and his present chief campaigner was President Moi. During his opposition days, Mwai Kibaki is quoted as having said that "Mr. Moi cannot afford to maintain silence as if nothing is happening ...[when] the killing of our citizens has been going on…... It is only natural that the victims will take arms to defend themselves." This sentiment arose out of the KANU government's lack of action in curbing the ethnic violence. Hundreds of people were killed, homes destroyed and property worth millions of shillings lost. The President has done nothing in his five years in power. He has since dissolved parliament and will probably not be able to fulfill his promise if the latest opinion polls are anything to go by.

Security, law and order remains the responsibility of the government of the day, more so the President as the commander in chief of the armed forces. All politicians seems to be immersed in electioneering campaigns as innocent citizens lose their lives and property because of irresponsible utterances by the same politicians. This has nothing to do with majimbo. It has everything to do with elections and is simply a way of instilling fear in the hearts of the hapless villagers in order to gain advantage over their perceived political enemies. But at what cost?

Friday, October 26, 2007

December 27 the D-Day

The ECK has declared December 27 as the date for this year's general elections. With that announcement it is all systems go in Kenya's predicted political dynamics of defection and counter defections.

Wapi huyo Steadman?
Meanwhile the latest Steadman's polls shows Raila, Kibaki and Kalonzo's popularity standing at 50%, 39% and 8% respectively. A reflection of reality, euphoria or signs of things to come? Well, only time will tell. The whistle has been blown and the players only have themselves to score winning or own goals. May the best candidate win. God bless Kenya.

Thankless Job of Football Managers



The sword of Damocles has been hanging precariously over Martin Jol's head since last summer. It was no surprise when the blades finally kissed his sculp in his being fired as the Spurs boss. Jol has been effectively a caretaker manager since Spurs board was caught on camera talking to Savilla coach in August.

But is football a game managed by mercenaries albeit civilized ones? It would appear the mercenary tag is not fat fetched given the scenarios in which reining and former managers fall over themselves to replace a fired manager.

The beautiful game has turned into an ogre that devours its own. The demand for immediate results is unparalleled with any other sport. The media hype and publicity if the fuel that makes the flames roar.

Buying established and successfully football clubs (especially in England) is big time business for global multi-millionaires. Clubs are literally led by the leash to succeed. These owners will stop for nothing and even punish success if they fell their interests are threatened. Fabio Capello and Jose Mourinho fits that bill.

Dogs of the pitch
The 51 year old is a success story. What of guiding Spurs into two successive Uefa championships? But his summer signings failed him and the buck stops at the boss.
But Juande Ramos is also touted as one of the most promising managers in European football after leading Savilla to back-to-back Uefa cup glory in the past two years.

The cut throat competition and handsome revenue resulting from the same is a phenomenon that may its strength or weakness depending on what you fancy. Every manager taking up his position must be alive to this reality. Club boards may not be as well known as the players or managers but they pull the ultimate strings.

Spurs board were rumoured to be ready to pay any wages for Mourinho when he was sacked by Chelsea. Only that the later club made sure that Jose signed and was paid off managing any Premier League team this season. Mercenaries may not only be dogs of war afterall but also dogs of the piece of leather.

Devolution is NOT the same as Majimbo

Right of Reply:

Chris, This post is in response to yours "Is Majimbo Good For Kenya?"

I beg to differ with some of the content.

To begin with, Devolution is NOT the same as Majimbo.

Majimbo is plural word for Jimbo which is swahili word for REGION. On the other hand devolution can be described as follows:

1. A passing down or descent through successive stages of time or a process.
2. Transference, as of rights or qualities, to a successor.
3. Delegation of authority or duties to a subordinate or substitute.
4. The transfer of powers from central government to regional and local governments.
5. (In Biology) Degeneration.

This definition(s) is/are simple and clear for anyone purporting to be politically informed. The political dictionary teaches us that in contrast to federalism, where each tier has protected areas of power, a devolved government remains constitutionally subordinate to the central government which gave it its power and which could in principle revoke it.

The above can therefore be taken to mean that ‘devolution’ is one of the components of a parliamentary system of government as suggested on the BOMAS DRAFT, which is what the ODM is propagating.

Both the Kilifi and Bomas drafts that were subject of the referendum in 2005 were in favour of regional governments, or federalism, which is the nearest equivalent English word. However, the Kilifi draft created a ‘rubber-stamp’ prime minister's post but it did not devolve any executive powers which everybody, including the current president and his court jesters, had initially agreed were the origin of all problems in Kenya. If anything, it the Kilifi Draft was rejected because it made it virtually impossible for any other tribe apart from Kikuyu to be president. In any case, the Bomas Draft does not have the words TRIBE or MAJIMBO anywhere in its pages. And those are facts!

Another correction; in your related post, you talk of certain areas in the country 'being bankrupt before they start', and then go ahead to give an example of the NEP - which you claim does not have any prospects of raising revenue on its own.

Please note a 'majimbo government' retains the responsibility of distributing national resources equitably amongst the regional states - which means, unlike now where a mere district in Nyeri can receive an allocation of about Kshs. 100m for water development funds while the entire North Eastern Province receives a third of that - all regions will receive equal resources from central government and (it gets sweeter) decide on how to use those resources in accordance with their own special needs and requirements!

Another thing, it is gravely unfortunate for Chris to suggest that a region which has gone through intentional segregation and neglect plus untold suffering of its residents at the hands of successive regimes to be used as an area for dumping toxic waste - AS IF - those people who live there are not human beings! Chris, for the sake of this country I am asking you to withdraw that suggestion if you lay claim to being a patriotic Kenyan!

Just to prove to you how off-track you are; When you say North Eastern province has got no self sustaining resources worth talking about, it means you have not done your research properly. The beef supplied by most butcheries in Nairobi, Mombasa and Kisumu originate from NEP. The same region has helped Kenya to be an exporter of beef as a finished product as well as special breed livestock to Middle Eastern countries for ages. Even the revived Kenya Meat Commission plant gets most of its beef supplies from the NEP. On the other hand, Rift Valley province supplies the bulk of diary products in Kenya.

Lets not take this majimbo debate and misuse it to confuse Kenyans or start tribal / land clashes, please! Read the bomas draft and understand it, for it is freely available to download at Raila's blog! It makes no sense for PNU to oppose a constitution provision that was also in the Wako/Kilifi draft that they created (or should I say bastardised) and tabled for Kenyans as a referendum draft just two years ago. What if the YES! side had emerged victorious in the referendum, what would they be telling us now? Are they opposing it merely because Raila Odinga is no longer prime minister designate but president-in-waiting?

My own take is that a parliamentary system is better for this country as it makes the executive much more accountable to the people and it goes further to give the people a greater say in issues of governance and state expenditure. I mean, it would be lovely to have a prime minister being taken to task in the floor of the national assembly. It would also be fantastic to bring some relevance to the post of the leader of official opposition.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Bwana Dawa Too Joins ODM

With an average of 12 aspirants for each constituency in at least four provinces, ODM is surely a thriving business enterprise. And ex-Mr. Fixit Mark Too has joined the gravy train. And with his Eldoret South already hosting an ODM aspirant, David Koross, Bwana Dawa couldn't have been smarter to pitch tent in Emgwen where he expects to sweet PNU's Stephen Tarus off his political feet.

Better late than never for Ahmed Khalif. He too has paid up for the ODM ticket with the parting shot at North Eastern PC Kiritu Wamae to be removed for playing politics. It is all systems go this defection season. Interesting times we must be living in. Na bado.

The Universal Two Tribes



Scenes and response for the fire victims in California compared to the Katrina one in 2005 reveals the universal nature of two tribes.

So you thought that racism belongs to the archives and is outlawed? Contrast that with the deranged bloggers here who even believe that there are some superior blacks (Kenyans). The true two tribes phenomenon is universal.

Is Majimbo Good For Kenya?



It is instructive that the World Bank has declared that it is in favor of a Majimbo (devolved government) system for Kenya. But today the Catholic church in Kenya has declared that it is against Majimbo in what I consider one of the most irresponsible things the Catholic church in Kenya has ever done. The reason is that the move is an open provocation on Muslims most of whom are in favor of Majimbo and with the tensions in the country at the moment it is very easy for this issue to degenerate into a duel between Christians and Muslims which is the last thing any Kenyan would wish for.

The PNU (Party of National Unity) which has hardly shown any initiative in this general election has very quickly pounced on the issue of introducing a Majimbo system in Kenya sensing that it is ODM’s soft under belly where they can quickly accumulate votes in their favor and reverse the current situation. Many ODM supporters also fear that the party and its’ presidential candidate will lose votes on this issue.

Yet this is a classic issue pitting the two real tribes in Kenya against each other. Namely the filthy rich and the rest of Kenya. A Majimbo system is definitely not in the interest of the rich tribe because...

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Controversy over ODM-K's London Dinner

All Politics And No Play Makes Njoro Omosh And Kilosh Dull Kenyans

In a hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room, where their Family member lay gravely ill.

Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and somber. "I'm afraid I'm the bearer of bad news,' he said as he surveyed the worried faces. 'The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a brain transplant. It' s an experimental procedure, very risky but it is the only hope. Insurance will cover the procedure, but you will have to pay for the brain yourselves."

The family members sat silently as they absorbed the news.

After a great length of time, someone asked, "Well, how much does a brain cost?"

The doctor quickly responded, "$5,000 for a male brain, and $200 for a Female brain."

The moment turned awkward.

Men in the room tried not to smile, avoiding eye contact with the women, but some actually smirked.

A man unable to control his curiosity, blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask,

"Why is the male brain so much more?"

The doctor smiled at the childish innocence and explained to the entire Group, "It's just standard pricing procedure. We have to mark down the price of the female brains, because they've actually been used. The male brains are hardly ever used by the owners.

So they are as good as new."

SEND THIS TO A SMART WOMAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH AND TO THE MEN YOU THINK CAN HANDLE IT!

Controversy over ODM-K's London Dinner

Pros And Cons Of Majimbo in Kenya




Disadvantages;

Majimbo may cause tensions between tribes
PNU are right when they suggest that devolution may cause tensions in certain parts of the country. The community that will be worst hit will be the Kikuyu who have invested heavily in almost every corner of the country which is a good thing. In some areas there has been resentment towards them and the re-introduction of Majimboism may affect a few of them. However it is NOT true that the problem will be rampant all over the country. And besides the constitution clearly protects every Kenyan wherever in the country they may wish to settle.

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Controversy over ODM-K's London Dinner

The Lunch That Never Was



ODM-K's London dinner scheduled for tomorrow has been cancelled due to SERIOUS SECURITY REASONS. Consequently, the ODM-K presidential candidate Hon. Kalonzo who was to grace the £ 50 per pax dinner will also fail to travel and meet Kenyans in the diaspora as publicized earlier.

This last minute cancellation smacks of either mischief or poor organization. One is left wonder with fertile imaginations whether the reasons for the aborted dinner lied elsewhere even after scrapping the fee and making the dinner free. When contacted for comment, the LADY organizer could only afford to say that the meeting will be rescheduled for a future date.

True to Kenyan politics, this development has left the political scene awash with wild rumours flying in all directions. Aspersions and innuendos are being cast in all directions some sympathetic while most are out rightly propagandist in nature and content. So the quest and plastic attention to the diaspora continues. Na bado

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Are You Married?



Ans: Yes BUT please don’t ask me to whom. Just understand I am somebody’s wife.

Qsn: Who is your roll model?

Ans: Mwai Kibaki (for obvious reasons) and Hilary Clinton (apt reversed rolls)

Kenya’s Forgotten Tribe




Next to the Luo you will not believe the other Kenyan tribe that has suffered the most neglect in terms of development assistance from the central government. It is of course the Kikuyu.

Most people reading this would be incredulous at my assertion, but let me explain.

Contrary to what most Kenyans think many areas in Central province are the most underdeveloped in the country and things would have been much worse was it not for the enterprising and creative spirit that most of our Kikuyu brothers seem to possess naturally. The community has also been greatly aided by their proximity to Nairobi.

Under the Kenyatta regime, the president was very careful to be seen as a national figure and was uncomfortable about taking development projects to his Gatundu constituency. The result is there for all to see even today as this is one of the most backward areas in the entire Central province.

During the Moi era, the president did everything to sabotage the revenue generating activities that were perceived to give the Kikuyu economic might. Even at the expense of national interests. Just ask a few farmers...

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The implications on the NSE Of the chairman’s political affiliations



Guest column By John Maina.

Many have been quick to politicise comments made by ODM Presidential Candidate Raila Odinga about the NSE. They have singularly associated the share index downward trend to his earlier comments on drug money finding its way to NSE also his concerns of share manipulation by a few well connected individuals. Paul Muite the chair of (Departmental Committee on Justice and Legal Affairs) similarly expressed the latter concerns albeit both politicians did not give details.


Chairman of the NSE, crafty Jimnah Mbaru

On Raila Odinga’s comments many have castigated him as an anti-development, alleged he is a communist, thus he would nationalise the listed companies. Others have even argued that he is a propagandist seeking political mileage.

However, many have overlooked the fact that Raila himself owns various private businesses and has strongly argued against his distracter that he has heavily invested at the NSE

Moreover, many people have glossed over others factors likely to be impacting on the downward trend. Such include, investors disposing of share in readiness to safcom IPO and the Christmas festival.

Other reasons as recently pointed by the NSE board are the rising inflation resulting in disposal of stocks so as to buy basic commodities.

Jittery investors holding back in anticipation of the political transition and uncertainty on the direction that the stock market is taking cannot be ruled out either.

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Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Battle Royale as Pentagon Goes Hexagon

The flood gates are opened as House Speaker Mr Kaparo raised the political temperatures by issuing writs that officially declared the 210 parliamentary seats vacant. And job hunting as we usher in another season of defection with predicatble shamelessness.

The full Orange has expanded and gone Hexa (six) by admitting Ngilu into into its top organ. Meanwhile PNU is dolling out districts at a rate that makes Moi's look like tokens. Old habits are surely perfected by slaves of nostalgia. What with a continuation of creating TRIBALLY-nomenclatured districts like Samia?

Scoring own goal
But Orange family would be better advised not to waste their time on petty envy by attacking each other instead of squaring it with their common opponent. When ODM is not denigrating its sibling as punda, the latter is rubbishing the former's poll superior rating. Speak of superlative self-destruction.

And out of curiosity at the risk of being e-lynched, is the ODM supremo part-time Kenyan or running from without? Even before you shout Chungwa or Kasarai, Tinga is air bound out of Kenya. Phil share with us part of the itinerary, we deserve to know,ama?

Finally, that Tawala Kenya song, was it out of mere excitement, spicing the ocassion or inadvertently scoring an own goal?

What Is The Electoral Commission Up To?




The Electoral Commission has at this eleventh hour adjusted the constituency boundary between Kisauni in Mombasa and neighboring Mvita consitituency in a move that affects close to 10,000 voters.

ODM has gone to court to block the move and as the electoral commission asked for more time to prepare their case, an incredulous High court judge yesterday bluntly told the ECK that they have no case.

Meanwhile in Kisauni there have been demonstrations over the last 3 days against this puzzling move by the ECK. The voters on the ground are very clear in their mind where all this is coming from. They blame the outgoing MP of the area Anania Mwaboza for ganging up with the government to ensure that he is voted back to parliament in an area that is rabidly ODM. Interestingly the part of Kisauni ceded out to Mvita by the ECK is a stronghold of Mwaboza’s main challenger Ali Hassan Joho.

Could this have been one of the reasons behind the recent appointment of a new commissioner who has been practicing law in Mombasa?

I am getting a very bad feeling here.

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Story Of Woman Who Loved Two Men Depicts Kenyan Presidential Elections Politics Perfectly Part 2



Dorothy was now in a real panic. She tried his cell phone again. The mobile phone subscriber could still not be reached.

She decided to send him a message so that when he finally switched on his phone, he may just be able to get it.

PLEASE CALL ME BACK VERY, VERY, URGENTLY-DOROTHY.

Then the real agony began. She was sure that Rai was dead by now. Kib came late in the evening as usual. Naturally he could not understand her mood and got even more confused when she gave herself to him. But it was all mechanical. The way you would go to the toilet for a long call. Her heart was with Rai, if he was alive that is.

She kept her mobile phone on the whole night. She got up to go to work in the morning more exhausted than she had been going to bed the previous night. She was now sure that Rai was dead. He had probably committed suicide. She blamed herself and quietly mourned for him.

What was wrong with her anyway. When women everywhere would have given anything to be with such a sensitive man as Rai, she had rejected him. Look where it had landed her, she chided herself repeatedly.

The call came in at 9:45 when she was in a meeting.

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Shirikisho Divorces PNU Before the Wedding

Even before President Kibaki's shadow disappeared from the TV screens, the Kenya political theatre is alive with plenty of acts. Shirikisho has bolted out of PNU as Kombo sent all the civic bosses packing.

And what a preamble to a potentially action-packed next 60+ days? Well, we haven't seen anything yet. The political theatrics we have witnessed perfected by our scoundrels for leaders ni kionjo.

Theatrics in earnest before the race
Shirikisho may have opted out of PNU to retrace its steps in attempt to remain politically relevant. What with its baby Majimbo being weaned and trumpeted loudest by competitors outside PNU? The next few days will see more heavy weights drifting in the Kenyan political landscape like a rudderless ship lost in the doldrums. Kamata kamata........

The Test

Here, I share with you my own personal experience when my wife and I had to take the HIV test three years ago.

The Pastor made it very clear to us that, as a prerequisite, we had to go for a HIV test before we got married. The results of the test would determine whether the church would marry us off or not. If either of us tested HIV positive, then, that would mean the end of the journey to conjugal bliss.

That was three weeks to the publishing of the banns. Never had there been a harder time in our lives than at that very time. The task that we had to accomplish was almost daunting.

Our minds were abuzz trying to figure out our pasts: had we slipped in our earlier trysts? And if so, had we contracted the HIV virus? What would happen if the tests confirmed our worst fears?

After lengthy deliberations, we decided that taking the test was the only way of either confirming or allaying our fears.

The next day we headed to a Voluntary Counselling and Testing (VCT) centre that was in town. We were received cordially, and, after the preliminaries, we were ushered into a room where a counsellor was waiting for us.

I’ll never forget the cold chill that ran down my spine when I entered the room. I felt like a cow that had entered an abattoir. My face was flushed and my lips felt dry. I tried to compose myself to no avail. The feeling I had could only be equated to the feeling of an accused man feeling guilty before being pronounced so.

With a warm smile, the counsellor led us through the counselling session which included questions posed at us and explanations she gave for the questions we asked her.

Then came the question: “Are you ready for the test?” My wife-to-be and I exchanged glances and, almost in unison, we said, “Yes.”

We were led to a room that was adjacent to the office. This was the ‘testing room’. Blood was removed from the big veins in the crooks of our arms. Then we were told to wait in reception while the tests were made and results processed.

The fifteen minutes in reception were an eternity to me. There were a number of magazines on the table. I took one of them in the pretext of reading but in real sense it was to camouflage the fact that my mind was in turmoil. All manner of wild ideas and thoughts were doing their rounds in my head.

“What if I am found to be HIV positive, what will become of my life? What will come of my wedding bid? What will people say and how will my parents take it?” My head was spinning. My mate was going through the same motions.

When our names were mentioned we jumped up in unison almost leaving our hearts on the seats! The counsellor, with two spring files in her hands, led the way into her office. We followed suit, our steps almost faltering.

Once inside the office, she asked us to be seated. With a disarming smile playing on her lips, she told us that she had the results. Our hearts missed a beat.

With the precision of a marksman, she opened the two files and looked into them. At the back of our minds we knew that the contents of the files held the key to our fate.

She looked at us and, as she was about to say something, she stopped and cleared her throat. Was that hesitation? We felt the air in our lungs being forced out.

“Both of you are HIV negative. You don’t have the HIV virus. Here, have a look at the results.”

For a split second we could not believe our ears. Then we stood up, with tears of joy coursing the breadth of our cheeks, hugged each other and thanked the counsellor profusely.

As she handed us our result certificates (the key to our marital bliss and ‘happily-ever-after’ story), she quipped, “These results are very different from the ones that show academic qualifications. You can depend on your academic certificates to open doors for you tomorrow i.e. the qualifications don’t change. The certificates show the skills you have acquired. The results you have received today, on the other hand, can change at the flash of lightning if you don’t take care of yourselves.”

Read this poem that encapsulates the advice of a grandmother to her carefree grandson who does not care two hoots about Aids.

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