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Wednesday, June 03, 2009

Constipation from Five-Course Humble Pie


You can fool Kenyans sometimes but not the world all the times, Bob Marley could have as well sung. Saitoti must be still smarting from an exclusive five-course sumptuous meal of humble pie.

What a colourful and dramatic overnight climbdown? The local bravado from the ruling class melted in Geneva and all the hitherto brickbats at Prof Alston speedily transformed into accolades. Last weak Prof Saitoti derided Alston as a shame to the title professor and not worth the reference and at Geneva he hailed Alston’s recommendations as CONSTRUCTIVE and USEFUL.

Patriots had egged Saitoti and Mutula to call Prof Alston bluff in defense of our so-called sovereignty. To them damn all the global village buzz, we are independent and capable of butchering our own. Well, not quite as the world will not sit back to see us self-destruct. Forget all the balderdash about two wrongs making a right ala Iraq and Pakistan.

Exotic lies
Living beautiful lies only succeeds in eternal embarrassment. Without the international community we would be having no country to pride ourselves with. We lost all the moral fibre after bastardizing a people’s democracy in 2007. Continuing to live in denial will only expand the circumference of your ego, period.

Make no mistake, militias must be stopped dead on their tracks. Mungiki's barbaric beheadings is as unacceptable as officially sanctioned police brutality and extra-judicial slayings. You cannot use Mungiki to fool the world in covering state sponsored anarchy. Rule of law is what separates from inhabitants of the jungle.

What an obtuse scale of embarrassment to have factions of the same government export their division abroad? Until the scoundrels come to terms with the naked fact that it is NOT-BUSINESS-AS-USUAL, we continue the bumpy circular rise into oblivion.

Damn consultation
We are so divided and at war with each other so much so that even a foreigner like Prof Alston refers to the fissures between the coalition partners so casually. But expect smart Kenyans to rationalize any rot thrown at them. We baptize impunity with all exotic names but the monster remains just that IMPUNITY as it mutates to claim us all.

Well, the paper patriots can threaten fire and brimstone of all shapes and colour. But Saitoti must have seen it coming in his climb down. The hitherto bravado and attack on the messenger while glossing over the message would have left his face neatly pasted with eggs.

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

Cheap Pride: Sh.1m a Minute Defending Kenya

Plastic patriotism and sovereignty must be our most expensive commodity in Kenya right now. Otherwise we would not be sending a fractious delegation of 30 joy riders who will only address the UN council on human rights in Geneva for only 5 minutes.

And the bill, well, Kenyans have no qualms coughing out 5m to pamper 5 hard working ministers with a busload of busybodies. Why not show the UN that we value our murderous ways and tell them to lay off our own festival of flesh and blood. If anything the police only killed Kenyans and no foreigners.

Our sovereignty is priceless and we will do anything ORTHODOX or otherwise to defend it. Prof Alston can wax legal with his Congo and Cuba reports but he must be told off by our own smiling but superlative legal minds.

Two wrongs only need a Kenyan mirror to make an obtuse right. Alston must hunt down Bush and Rumsfeld for desecrating Iraq before he turns his evil eye on peaceful Kenya. Woe unto you who derides cheap options that fly like blaming the messenger while conveniently glossing over the message.

Moral authority
Let Prof Kiarie Kunuthia show Alston what a real PhD means. Yes, the policemen killed on his watch but that was Kenyan blood they shed which is none of Alston’s business. Rule of the law is only quoted among the weak-hearted not progressive and industrious nations like Kenya.

We must rally behind our leaders in defending our national integrity and identity. Only scoundrels mouth platitudes laden with in patriotism. The 2007 elections may have been flawed but we retain an overflowing moral authority to defend Kenya.

Add that the unique maturity to sort our parallel government positions in Geneva and you get a picture of a country overwhelmed with patriotism and objectivity. Nani kama sisi? HAKUNA.