Most Corrupt VP Ever Wants To Live In State House As Ruto Sells Out

Prof George "coughing VW" Saitoti: This man is very determined to be your next president

It has not surprised political analysts that Internal security minister George Saitoti has finally come out in the open and declared his interest in the presidency.

But what Kenyans need to ask themselves are two simple questions. Who is George Saitoti and can he make a president, let alone lead Kenyans to the promised land we all yearn for?

It is no secret that Saitoti used to drive a beat up VW that would cough uncontrollably at the most inconvenient times on the highways and sometimes traffic policemen would be too surprised to arrest him. His 500 bob cheques would regularly bounce at his bank then, opposite the Hilton Hotel. The mathematics professor was picked up in that state in the 80s and made Finance minister. His climb was meteoric and within no time George Saitoti became an immensely wealthy man. So much so that he is now able to finance a presidential campaign almost effortlessly. So where did his money come from?

----------------------------------------
Kumekucha product tips; Having problems with your accounts? Have you considered the easiest accounting software in the world to use? Get all the information you need on Quickbooks in Kenya.
----------------------------------------

The truth is that if there was a contest to single out the most corrupt Kenyan who has ever been Vice President, then there would be no contest. Saitoti would win hands down. Apart from the Goldenberg saga which the topology professor has tried very hard to distance himself from, Saitoti built a reputation with many would-be foreign investors as the man who used to send an aide to openly ask for cash handouts and bribes. I have two witnesses who have sworn affidavits and have even named the professor's favourite errand boy in this “business.” That is the man who wants to be your president.

The other question one needs to ask themselves is why Moi overlooked him and went for Uhuru Kenyatta instead in 2002. Some people claim that the excessive greed Moi saw in Saitoti would have meant disaster for Kenya. Oh well, that is neither here nor there because Moi himself also proved quite greedy towards the end of his tenure. But shall we say that is what Moi thought of him?

A fascinating aside here is that it seems that the alliances for 2012 (or whenever it is that we will go to the polls) are taking shape in earnest. One of the people Saitoti no doubt inspired in terms of ways of making overnight wealth by stealing public funds, is William Ruto. The Agriculture minister has been having some fascinating night meetings in his constituency in recent times. I am told Ruto had a large meeting in Eldoret over the weekend with all councillors (or strategic ones) in Rift valley including Maasai, Kalenjin, Samburu etc. At the meeting he referred to Raila as 'that bull without a herd.' Apparently the meeting was at Ruto's house. Then they were all given Kshs 5,000 each (impeccable sources tell me). They all stayed the night in hotels in Eldoret, all paid for by their host. Ruto is also said to have told the councillors that Raila was no longer marketable. And that they should make this the year of the IDPs and take all IDPs as their brothers.

So You Think You Are A Failure?

Before his election to the presidency at age 51, Abraham Lincoln had eight times lost lower office elections. He was miraculously elected to the Illinois State Legislature at age 25 but was out of a job within a year. In fact his only other notable political success came at the age of 37 when he won a congressional seat by a razor thin margin. That was characteristically followed by a resounding defeat at his reelection two years later. You see, this man was not only a bona fide political failure but also a businessman of magnificent losses. To fortify his miserable credentials, the chap became a card carrying permanent resident of a mental hospital at the age of 27; this after suffering a nervous breakdown following the untimely demise of his sweetheart.

So what does Lincoln do with his shabby life? Well, after special prayers, the man wins the presidency and introduces measures that result in the abolition of slavery. He then successfully leads his country through the American civil war only to be shot dead at the end of it. Damn! Talk about courage, persistence and perseverance….and a potent dose of bad luck.

Well, that looser is apparently not done. Coincidentally, at the 200th anniversary celebration of his birthday, an African American of Kenyan decent will be inaugurated as the 44th president of the United States.

One thing we could do here today is compare Abraham Lincoln to the fat leeches taking a series of short naps inside Parliament Buildings….but that will quickly degenerate into a heaven versus hell argument. You see, the last parliament can only be remembered in terms of a fruit basket; bananas and oranges. There’s nothing to suggest that the current one will achieve anything outside of keeping its members from The Hague. In fact, its sole preoccupation is self-preservation at the expense of the tax payer. As we speak, Moses Wetangula, our comedic foreign affairs minister, is excitedly planning a multi-million shillings ministerial excursion to Washington DC. All this money is being spent so that a bunch of sweaty MPs can stand under a tree to view Obama’s inauguration proceedings from about one or two kilometers away. This is not a simple case of misplaced priorities or misguided outbursts. It is in fact, an affront to wanainchi.

The problem is that we have allowed our leaders to disenfranchise us to the point where we see Kenyan pride in terms of Tusker beer, success in long distance athletics and tribal dominance. Our uncanny ability to survive adversity is seen as a badge of honor….when in real sense, honor is totally avoiding adversity. There exists no powerful affinity to ensure the country’s destiny or identity because it truly does not exist. In other words, we have lost all hope.

How else do you explain our lethargy in confronting the excesses of politicians in power?

This is where we can learn from Lincoln. We should never give up hope. So far, doing so has resulted in a docile Kenyan citizenry accepting of all manner of abuses. If we accept to remain roadside spectators watching hummers and helicopters crisscross the air space, we shall all perish. Let us get involved from all levels. Courage fellas, courage.

The only thing we must not do is wait 200 years.