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Tuesday, November 05, 2013

Uhuruto Confidential


Sometimes you blog so much that you forget what you have written in the past. I stumbled upon this old Kumekucha post by our very own Taabu (or is it Taboo?) published on November 6th 2012 and almost fell off my chair, my coffee spilled and missed the keyboard by a whisker (no kidding). Read it for yourself to discover why (and keep a close eye on the date it was penned, click on the headline to go to the actual post and comments at the time);

The Hague Referendum Aimed to Burn with Kenya
Like him hate him, Cherangani MP Joshua Kuttuny has a way with words. And when it matters most his gliding lips minces no words and he says-it-as-it-is. No diplospeak. He has told all and sundry that next year's elections is a referendum on The Hague. Period.

Forget where all The Hague business earned its first coin. We did not take ourselves to that place it came seeking us with a laser guided missile. You must remember the nation's battle cry 'NO HAGUE, LET'S BE VAGUE'.

And golden pair Uhuruto have declared the elections must be won first round so that they can concentrate in defending themselves at The Hague. Make no mistake, you don't need to be a resident president. Ruto has spelt it clearly that he can remotely rule by ICT. We have been paying absentee MPs for ages, why not upgrade?

You cannot blame the conjoined twins Uhuruto. Their fate is so similar and so bleak only winning the Presidency and using it appears the only path to beat ICC. And don't engage your fertile imagination to extrapolate into what they are not saying.

So will Kenyans play ball and help bail out our prodigal political twins? No need for guessing they have done the maths and it looks promising.

Uhuru and Ruto knows all they need is have to their respective communities under lock and key. After that the rotund Gambian Fatou Bensouda is cooked goose.

Tempting ICC gods
Forget the moribund G7. That was a warmup kit before the main match by two friendly parties. Give it to Jomo Junior, what he has done with T(i)NA within these last few months is incredible. He would not have had the leeway to do as he pleases with Kanu.

Raila never saw it coming. Even his sojourn with Kalenjin Elders will not save him this time. The die is cast and all the faces bear no resemblance to son of Jaramogi. What a rude political send off for the prime Minister.

The diplomat Stevo true to his calling still harbours hope that some miracle will happen and he will feast on the fallen limbs. Politics must be a very rude sport. Just ask Musalia Mudavadi who was bought new political sails only to be left in the doldrums at the mercy of UPEPO WA KUSI.

Uhuruto has all it takes to tempt both the gods of ICC and fate itself. We haven't seen anything yet. The game has been determined and the Kenyan voter has been squarely roped in. Playing is just but a routine.

No need for abstract theories. The two suspects need power to twin their fate with Kenya. Game over and damn the consequences. NA BADO. 


There is no doubt that there are plenty more secrets that Uhuruto have that would make them cringe to even imagine that they would ever see the light of day in the press. Hence the media bill which must now be "negotiated". But even more fascinating is the fact that 2017 elections (big yawn to Kenyans right now) has been the focus of the duo in recent weeks. Ladies and gentlemen what is happening are the finer details of a re-election with ease being finalized. By the time the rest of Kenya wakes up on the eve of those polls it will be too late. Smartness nayo!!

My Kumekucha Raw notes and much acclaimed recently launched Kumekucha Real Time Intelligence Reports have plenty of hot secrets you have never heard anywhere. You can get BOTH for FREE for a 2 week trial period. GET BOTH NOW. You will also get details on how to get your hands on the brand new Kumekucha book Uhuruto Confidential.


Anonymous said...

Nitasoma. I hope u hve included info on how they stole the election while preaching peace and media blackout.

Taabu said...


How dare you? You know am a PENSIONER and I demand royalties for the post lest I instruct the Grand Mullah AA to sue you.

Meanwhile keep safe. The monsters have acquired more deadly fangs.

kumekucha said...


Fellow pensioner, first congratulations are in order for penning a post that turned out to be 110% true.

Royalties lazima in the form of a drink/poison of your choice na bado award ya Kumekucha blogger of the year.

Thanks also for the warning about the fangs. Point well taken.

Chris Kumekucha

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