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Monday, January 28, 2013

Mzungus have never been corrupt, that’s why Synovate poll is 1000% true

Social media is a wonderful tool. For the first time in history anybody can literally read the mind of the public. In earlier centuries some people could only accurately guess public opinion but they profited enormously from their guesses, one wonders what those clever chaps would have done with the info freely accessible on social media today.

But spend a little time on social media and you will realize that our so-called elite and cream of society do not have any thoughts of their own. It is amazing how people repeat exactly what they have heard in the media like the obedient parrot. And folks that media iko na wenyewe and they have their very clear agenda. Or is the problem our educational system in recent years that encourages cramming and memorizing what is written in the text books so that you can reproduce it word for word in the exam room. There is never any time for students to delve into free thought, experimentation and discovery and the result of that seems to be coming out very clearly.

It is also crystal clear that most people don’t understand politics at all. They believe that American politics is “safi kama pamba” and Kenyan politics should be the same. I wish somebody could make a Nigerian movie (the only way a vast majority on social media learn anything about this life) that focuses on the global nature of politics. But meanwhile I would recommend a popular TV series called Boss which is captivating tale in the backdrop of big city politics in the US. Trust me it is anything BUT boring. Incidentally to most folks on social media that is the most dreaded six letter word (boring). Many young people fear it more than they fear Aids.

The other big problem Kenyans seem to have is this total trust for mzungus. I read between the lines of many comments and this clearly comes out. But I met this guy the other day who spelt it out for me and left no doubt. He reckons that just because the Synovate opinion poll is done by a mzungu it is 100 per cent accurate. He added that it is impossible to corrupt a mzungu because they have principles. This guy is a university graduate no less, albeit in the sciences. I kid you not. I pointed out to him that his perception of white people is dangerous and told him the story of this guy from Europe who went to Uganda a few years ago and started collecting cash all over the place from people who believed they were investing in a brand new airline that was set to be launched in East Africa. The poor Ugandans were falling over themselves to give that mzungu conman cash. They were sure he was not a conman because he was a mzungu. I will talk a little more about opinion polls in Kenya and their dark history in a future post very soon. But you can begin to understand why Kenyans have such short memories and nobody remembers the Synovate fiasco of 2007.

There is another friend who has suggested that the main problem online is the fact that all the major political players have too many of “their people” on social media and their mission is to make their candidate look good all the time.

Whatever the problem is, clear headed debate and political discussions are impossible. Many are even quick to accuse you of incitement when you start asking some hard questions or analyzing what should be obvious to a primary school kid.

Oh shucks what’s the point. Maybe I should just get used to supporting TNA because it has a lot of young guys with swag. Swag will probably create employment and solve our other pressing problems over the next 5 years. Or support Raila because he has suffered a lot for this country, never mind the fact that many others have suffered more like Kenneth Matiba who has had his health damaged permanently in his crusade for a better Kenya.

Or even better, lets vote for Peter Kenneth because he is the most handsome man to ever stand for president of Kenya.

Those Kenyans who have been calling for issue-based campaigns must be mad. To discuss what issues with whom? That’s rocket science in Kenya with the kind of “swag-related issues” being discussed by the elite of Kenya.

Oh boy!!!!

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Mwarang'ethe said...

Someone thinking somewhere!

What a relief to read something from a THINKING/FUNCTIONING MIND!


"I will talk a little more about opinion polls in Kenya and their dark history in a future post very soon. But you can begin to understand why Kenyans have such short memories and nobody remembers the Synovate fiasco of 2007."


Is SYNOVATE that outfit which used to be called STEADMAN?

If so, WITHOUT saying or suggesting anything, we leave thee with this LINK:


For us, we are off to enjoy:


Guiltiness PRESSED on their CONSCIENCE,


Taabu said...


Kwani Wazungu wamekula nini yako?

But you are 100% right, Tom Wolf of Synovate is impossible to corrupt because he has PRINCIPALS (not principles) who pay him.

Here is question for you: are these wazungus IVY LEAGUE graduates? If so bash them and never pay tax or any such slavery/imperial pecks.

You see in Kenya the pre/postfix in your name counts. Por PENSIONER Chris. You would be better off with Chris, Eng or LLB.

Or better still traditional/African healer. Take your pickm and wait for e-polls.

Anonymous said...


What type of somoko have you been using lately?

How dare you try to challenge our long held wonderful collection of myths about how great, powerful and all knowing wamoilo mondo moilo is?

You must be one of those thankless and undreateful people in our midst who still refuse to extend credit where it is due, in this case to wamoilo mondo moilo.

As matter of fact you seem to the kind of person or among people who have forgotten the painful reality of how benevolent and gracious wamoilo mondo moilo went out of his way and helped turn our country into a beacon of Africa.

How thankless you of all people have beeen, to the point of forgetting to be eternally grateful for the civilized things wamoilo mondo moilo imparted on all of us under the East African skies?

Without wamoilo mondo moilo, Kenya would still be one of Africa's more stagnant regions, an economically underdeveloped, intellectually derivative, and geopolitically passive backwater.

Just take a good look at us, fifty years later, and see for yourself how a lot has changed dramatically beyond our wildest dreams.

Kwani you - Chris - of all people still fails to see a newly invigorated cluster of Kenyan upper-upper-class, upper-class, upper middle-class, middle-class, and lower middle-class have been forged into existence thanks to wamoilo mondo moilo's tireless efforts of moilonizations -uzungunization?

Even you of all people fail to acknowledge how wamoilo mondo moilo has help spawn new spiritual and intellectual movements and educational institutions, and gone on to expand them at the expense of our former neighbours who traditionally had sold us and traded nyeusi on the watumua stock exchange markets on the Arab peninsula and Europa.

People like Chris of Kumekucha and the rest of the lowlifes that are trying to threaten the way of life for the above mentioned civilised upper and middle classes of Kenya, need to be provided with a baseline understanding of how wamoilo mondo moilo has never been corrupt and can not be wrong in all matters pertaing to Synovate polls, including everything in between, so that they can better appreciate where they have come from as people and nation in the last fifty years.

Why not give credit where it is due, to wamoilo mondo moilo who were generous enough to allow us, nyeusi kama tititii to own and use their kizungu names, religion, and semi-lifestyles without paying any royalities or violating their ancestral patent rights.

C'mon! Amka Kulukucha kitabo several months after wamoilo mondo moilo landed on the shores of East Africa with correct system for polling and without any time fof corruption.

Luke said...

Chris my brother,
The problem with you/Taabu/Mwarang'ethe/Phil is you LACK SWAGGER-STYLE UP won't you? imitate ATWOLI and MUTUNGA for example

when was the last time you wore KAUNDA SUIT to work? COTU S.G. and C.J. are DOT COM SAVVY, they know how to DRIP BLING as they take care of BUSINESS-

This is a new Kenya-FLOSS YOUR WEALTH or die trying, stupid oh and PS: WHITE IS ALWAYS RIGHT that is why AFRICAN IMMIGRANTS are flocking to..... in search of greener pastures

Anonymous said...

hahaha, Chris you've made my day. That’s a classic off the cuff blog ;-Once in a while us Kumekuchians get a real treat- a sneak preview of Chris of Kumekucha the Man. Welcome aboard TNA dadi, messieurs’ Wills Mutunga & Mike Sonko the renowned masters of swag & bling have raised this bar and Kenyans have bought into it.

Satellite Don said...

1.Marijuana is a drug but to Kikuyus, it also
means 'They knew each other'
2. The Hobbit is a movie but to the Kambas, it is a chewing gum
3. Federer is a tennis player but to Kikuyus, it also means Flag
4. Yana is a tyre brand but to Kambas its Yesterday.
5. Ukali means Harshness but to Luhyas is food {ugali}
6. Sota is being broke but to the Luhyas its a beverage
7. Do this is english but to kiuks it means many motobike {duthis}
8. Mascara is a make up but to Luhyas is cigarettes.
9. Paper is a writting material but to Kisiis its to carry {beba}
10. Parrot to Luhyas is not only a bird,but a thing that we will use on march 4th election {ballot}
11. Chuka may be a place in meru but in Nyeri it also means 'to alight'
12. Joyce is not only a female name to Kalenjins its an option {choise}

Anonymous said...

Chris continues to bury his head in the sand after he was challenged to expose the hypocricy in CORDom nominations. This follows his 3 earlier posts meant to cast aspersions on the TNA presidential candidate.
It is now becoming clear that he who pays the piper calls the tune'. Chris has clearly been compromised by these CORDomites.

Festus Otieno

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