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Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Because of the Evil Monster Called 2012…

...Prepare for Tobiko as DPP mupende musipende… Mutado?

...Prepare to exchange the US Dollar At Kshs 100

I know this girl who loves to watch horror movies. The more horrifying the better. Some of the stuff she watches is capable of giving me nightmares but to her it is all entertainment. Geez!! Fascinatingly the contradiction is that she cannot leave the room alone just to go to the next room.
Now there is a really terrifying monster emerging on the Kenyan political scene who is already causing nightmares and untold terror. The bad news is that the worst is yet to come. That monster is called 2012.

Horror scene number One…
Is set to unfold this afternoon in parliament when the august house will vote unanimously for one Keriako Tobiko to be the first DPP under the new constitution. A man who has a big huge question mark over his life starting with a land deal that has forgery and impunity written all over it. A man who has been instrumental in making Goldenberg and Anglo Leasing go away.

Yesterday I could not believe my ears and my eyes when one Charity Ngilu filled the TV screen to tell Kenyans that “the best choice” in the entire republic for this job was Tobiko. If it was possible to rewind TV news I know there are many many Kenyans who would have rewinded that particular clip to be sure of what they were hearing.

But then we have discussed this issue here in Kumekucha at length over the last few days. We know that ODM and one Raila Odinga need the Maasai and Samburu vote very badly as 2012 looms large in the background. Raila must be president come 2012 so who cares if Tobiko is corrupt? Who gives a sh** if the man’s middle name is “injustice and impunity”? Raila MUST BE PRESIDENT!!! Everything else comes second. Yep including the rights of downtrodden Kenyans who have lived under a justice system that has crashed them and their rights under it’s foot. A selective justice system that asks’ “who are you in society” before it can prosecute.

Watch this horror movie at a TV screen near you starting from around 2:30PM (Kenyan time) this afternoon.

Horror scene number two…Link
The 2012 elections will need unprecedented amounts of cash for those who own Kenya to push through their agenda. And yet it is becoming increasingly difficult to raise cash in the old days with a very hawk-eyed public. Make no mistake, stealing is still going on even as the small fish make appearances in court. The godfathers just pick new pawns and continue to steal. But I am talking about huge amounts of cash. The kind of money that turns the tide in an election.

Keep that thought at the back of your mind for a minute as we examine the strange behaviour of the Kenya shilling.

Experts know that the shilling has been faced with a much worse scenario than the current situation. Remember the January 2008 crisis and post election violence. That is precisely the time that we should have seen a free fall of the shilling. But strangely enough the local currency held strong amid the chaos. I mean those chaos were so serious that we were just days away from a complete shut down of the republic of Kenya.

Now a few traders prepare to import some maize and the shilling sinks to it’s lowest levels in history. A Kshs 90/- dollar is just round the corner and analysts are advising their clients to prepare for a Kshs 100/- dollar and the full consequences. I have talked to various respectable analysts and all them have rubbished the reasons we are seeing in the newspapers for this. They tell me that the government of Kenya seems to be secretly pursuing a policy of devaluation. But why? And this is the worst time to do this because of the untold suffering to ordinary Kenyans that is bound to result. The answer is simple. Some deals need to be made and some cash raised. Who gives a sh** about ordinary Kenyans? Of course it is important for the political class to make the right noises and talk about the suffering of ordinary Kenyans. But talk is pretty cheap. The priority now is that cash MUST be raised for 2012.

Watch this horror movie unfold in Kenya over the next few weeks and months. The woman called Kenya should just prepare to be raped by those who are supossed to protect her from the heinous assault... and I am NOT joking.

P.S. What will happen is that the shilling will be in a free fall until the 2012 deal is complete. Then it will quickly and mysteriously recover. Prepare for the comedy of errors soon after as experts will give us all kinds of explanations as to why the shilling recovered so suddenly and so quickly.

Update: Parliament predictably approved all 3 appointments amending the motion to bypass the recomendation by the parliamentary commitee to investigate further the issues raised against Keriako Tobiko. I agree with what a few members said on the floor to the effect that ignoring the recomendations to investigate Tobiko will not help him but rather bring him to office with a lot of buggage weighing him down. Time will tell.

What is Moi's most guarded secret?

Earlier articles on Tobiko
Storm gathering fast over Tobiko debate

The dirt on Tobiko and why parliament must reject his nomination


kumekucha said...

Ohhh and I forgot to add...

Coz of the monster called 2012 a few days ago President Kibaki halted the lowering of the interconnection rates meaning that Sfaricom have won and as a result cell phone calling rates will start going up again very soon. Mta-do?

Kumekucha Chris

Mwarang'ethe said...

Pole sana Chris na wale wengine. We understand your frustrations about what is going on and what is coming. Yet, you have seen nothing yet bro.

You know what? At the same time, some of us, who saw this script long ago, are very relaxed. Just enjoying the gladiator's show to mesmerise the plebs.

We have noted many times that, debt problem has ALWAYS ended in:

(a) inflation, i.e. devaluation,
(b) bankruptcy, or
(c) war.

Athens, Rome, Byzantine, China, Egypt and many others can testify to this. If you think you can defy this, you are extremely deluded.

On top of this, as we shall reveal in our next article, the LORDS OF MANOR are now gonna live TAX FREE (corporate and income tax). In fact, what is coming is shocking, many will not believe it.

So, you Chris na wengine, will bear all the tax burden for the so called new constitution.

And, on top of that, you must add the KES 84 bn. DEBT BILL for 2011. How does that sound?

In other words, all that Kenyans and their kids will see from the new constitution is the HUGE BILL. To believe otherwise is an ILLUSION. Full stop.

More so, watch for this:

(a) financial crisis,
(b) commercial crisis,
(c) political crisis, and finally
(d) social and cultural crisis.

Anyway, as usual, we end with Tosh:

All my good life I've been a lonely man
Teaching the people who don't overstan'
And even though I've tried my bes'

Some goin' east
Some goin' west
Some step aside to try their best
Some livin' big
But the most livin' small
They just can't even find
No food at all

Anonymous said...

Is this the same Chris who underwent multiple ejaculations here in Kumekucha after passing the new katiba?
Did he not rush here and in celebration and ululations posted a new thread praising the document that is pushing ordinary Kenyans suffering to the extreme?

At least Mwarangethe has been consistent.
Raila is just a sell out all the way from Mo1 days. I would rather elect Bifwoli Wakori who is 100 times more consistent and honest. Lets see which state house he will get next year...pengine Jukwaa state house ama state house.

Anonymous said...

Actually nothing has changed much since the time of Moi and I believe economists in the GOK are aware of this bitter reality.While Moi used to create commissions of enquiry as a diversionary tactic, Kibaki has perfected the act of creating useless constitutional offices. In my mind I have outfits like vision 2030 Secretariat, Brand Kenya, Ombudsman office, Kibunjas cohesion thing…. E.t.c. What value has these offices added? Actually most of these duplicate work of line ministries.How do you achieve vision 2030 with a development budget which envisages borrowing? talk of delusions as Mwarangethe would say.

Anonymous said...

A weak shilling is a curse for many and a real blessing for others.

There is this lucky dude who returned home from somewhere in Europe or America, only to find himself an instant millionaire.

He had brought $40,000 with him at a time when $1 was fetching Sh100 through unofficial channels.

So, he tasted the transaction waters and got his two million, and repeated the same with the remaining $20,000.

He secured another $30,000 two weeks later and dumped it through the same unofficial channels located near Queens House or Queens Way.

Long story short, he invested wisely in various projects around the city of Nairobi, in Mombasa and in his rural home.

Regrets, he has never had them since. He still loves to keep a very low profile and never sings praises about the returns on his economic ventures.

Let those in their early-mid twenties and early thirties do likwise because 2030 is not that far away.

Opportunity knocks but once for those who are ready and willing to tango with it for all good intent and purposes.

Anonymous said...


It is a crazy situation. A very crazy situation!!

That having been said, I think you are being too harsh on ODM and Raila in particular. Is it ODM and, by extension, Raila the only individual/group/party that has a role to play in Tobiko's clearing to be the DPP? NO!! I repeat, once again, NO!!

There are other individuals, powerful individuals (those who have cases or are anticipating to have cases in court) and groups (you have seen how members of the Maasai community have gone berserk in demanding "their son" must get the DPP position - they have turned the whole thing into a tribal comedy)

Now for the for the craziest and most bizzare lot, they are a large lot but mainly comprise of the average mwananchi ethnic bigots and members of their political and economic elite who have an irrational knee jerk HATRED for anything, and I mean anything, associated with Raila.

The Raila haters (e.g Beth Mugo, John "the rattlesnake" Michuki. J. Kioni and not forgetting Mr Mwai "pumbavu" Kibaki and his hatchet man and I.C.C suspect Francis "Matharau" Muthaura plus many, many others) must have suspected that Raila had misgivings about the issues that came out during Tobiko's "grilling" and, true to their nature - their hate and dislike for Raila - decided to support the appointment of Tobiko just to get back at Raila for nonsensical reasons.

The hate these people have for Raila is so irrational. They can even chop off THEIR OWN noses to spite Raila. Crazy but true.

Chris, I could have said more, but in brief what I am saying is that there are a lot of stupid, nonsensical, tribal, hate filled, and crimial reasons that all "conspire" to make sure that Tobiko will be appointed. I hope I am wrong but I fear that I am right.

M. Pesa said...

Remember when Kibaki was being sworn in as president in 2002? In his historic speech, the most memorable line was: "Corruption will cease to be a way of life in Kenya.. there won't be any sacred cows any more!" Even good old Kiraitu waded in and asked Moi to retire peacefully in his Ushago and see how government is managed! Fast forward 2011...

Didn't you just see Kabila of DRC storming into our state house and demanded to see Kibaki even without any appointment over a gold smuggling cartel based in Kenya that looted Congolese gold worth billions of shillings? Gold Smuggling will hit new levels before 2012.

Kibaki thinks legacy is some sort of a Subaru model, not what he will leave behind long after his exit.(in the meantime our ever comical Juha Kalulu police are busy investigating that theft of Congolese cold. Anyone with info please hurry and report to the nearest police station)

Drug smuggling will hit new heights as crooked barons work overtime to get cash to fund the masters who offer them valuable protection. Please don't ask me the names of those barons omitted in Saitoti's list that was tabled in parliament that included kina Sonko and Joho)

Useless Obama can bark all he wants and name some few local drug Mafias- but trust me they are just untouchable (Kelele za ng'ombe hazikatazi chura kunywa maji).

The Barons know too much and may spill the beans if arrested. You see them daily on TV and parliament smiling and preaching good morals to pumbavu Kenyans.

Mega Scams will be pulled right, left and centre. What you are hearing about a "stupid" small amount of Ksh 5.8BN "lost" in education ministry is nothing but small change compared to the target figure.

That's why education minister is always untouchable despite all the scandals. Kibaki is possibly laughing his socks off at the "pumbavu" calls of Ongeri's sacking from that talking head called PLO Lumumba. Just ask yourself who feeds PLO's in-tray in that order for those cases to be prosecuted?

OK, even if the heat is too much, those "comrades" implicated in mega corruption scandals will always be asked to "step aside" until the heat clears and pumbavu Kenyans forget (They always do after 3 days when some fresh scandal erupts!) Cough.. cough!.. remember comrades like Murungaru, Mwiraria, Kimunya, Ruto, Mwau, wetangula, Karega Mutahi.... etc. Are they in prison cooling their heels or just free men throwing hearty laughs?


commes said...

The staggering and colossal amounts that we loose from public resources through corruption, fraud and tax evasion not to mention waste, is more than sufficient to run this economy and finance the new constitutional offices without any additional internal or external borrowing.

The “reformed government” after 2012 should go for the vast money that has been stolen from the people of Kenya and stashed in foreign banks. Nigeria has done this with some good results.

Anonymous said...


A Director of Prosecutions can imperil the entire reform process by ensuring that serious cases of graft and other criminality aren’t dealt with; or are prosecuted slowly or sloppily, thereby resulting in miscarriages of justice. A DPP is capable of botching prosecutions by refusing to present credible and unimpeachable evidence before the courts. S/he can also deliberately refuse to call key witnesses to testify (like happened in the Ruto case). A DPP might also deliberately refuse to prepare witnesses, leading to inconsistent and contradictory testimonies, rendering most, if not all, of it no probative value. Because criminal cases must be proved beyond any reasonable doubt, an unethical DPP can use various strategies and tactics to ensure that known criminals are acquitted, thereby undermining the administration of justice.

Without diligent prosecution, the courts (no matter how efficient) cannot address issues of organized crime - corruption, piracy, money laundering, drug smuggling and gun running - which have become global problems. Anyone who has served - even for one month - as DPP without any tangible record of meticulously and successfully prosecuted cases of such crimes in Kenya cannot produce positive results even in a hundred years. Effective prosecutions require focused leadership, courage and unimpeachable integrity.

Does Tobiko have what it takes? NO. a BIG NO!!. Unfortunately the anti-reformers, tribal bigots, criminal political and economic elite will have their way - to protect their asses from present and future prosecution thanks to a very willing Keriako Tobiko.

Anonymous said...

Tobiko’s excellent academic performance more than twenty years ago isn’t in doubt. But those are 20 year old academic records.

What right thinking Kenyans are interested in is the content of his character and his exceptional contributions in the fields of human rights, constitutional law, criminal law and reform credentials. Apparently, he has either no record or a very dismal one on these.

If he is appointed, as I think he will, we will have started off in building the new Kenya on the wrong footing.

Anonymous said...

BREAKING NEWS: Supreme Court nominees are Njoki Ndung'u, Philip Tunoi, Jackton Ojwang, Mohammed Ibrahim, Dr Smokin Wanjala.


Anonymous said...

What we are witnessing live on our TV screens is nothing short of history in the making. Parliament has been turned into a battleground similar to Afghanistan or even Iraq and the furor that is the nomination of Tobiko has brought the fangs out of ODM/PNU

If only our esteemed members of parliament would sweat and swear like this when it came to building roads or making sure running water is clean and piped into every home in all the counties of Kenya. Sadly they shine best when they are covering their backsides to defend one who will defend them i.e. Tobiko

Anonymous said...

Chris, as we the people continue to orchestrate our peril, there are hundreds of very wealthy Kenyans, hords of current and former politicians, a number of foreigners (economic hit-men and women), packs of senior civil servants (hyenas) and slew of clergy (Judas priests and priestesses) who have been busy trying to appease their earthly gods, spirits, and godfathers through various burnt offering ceremonies over the last couples of day in the hope that Keriako Tobiko would be the one, the chosen one, their saviour, protector and shield from any future investigations, consequent prosecutions and a realiable rescuer in their hour of need.

So far, we the people continue to ignore the fact that the journey through the mountains of real political, economic, social, and judicial change are frought with peril.

And by allowing the lords of impunity to continue embedding their right hand people, sleeper cells, saboteurs of justice and agents against the implementation of the constitution, in the judicial system and other branches of government, we are grossly underestimating the destructiveness of impunity and the continuation of the old political order at our peril.

Someone has finally come out and said it loud and clear, everybody has worked [for, under and] with former President Daniel arap Moi, including ... [so and so] ... so what is the hullabaloo about working [eating, looting, grabbing, oppressing, censoring, beating, policing, ceaseless arrests, torturing, detaining, jailing, and even killing] with Moi?

How true that the more things change, the more they remain the same in many ways unknown to us the people.

Generally, the ongoing political double talk, shenanigans, pecadilloes, wickedness, indifference, ignorance, greed and short sightedness will destroy any hopes for real change that Kenyans had in 2002 when the majority among them decided to get rid of the perious Grand Master and his lords of impunity.

Further, what a better nominee to confirm as the next DPP than one who has an allegedly checkered background, questionable associations and the blessing of known political cartel.

All things considered, what Kenya needs is not a reformation of the old establishment but a replacement of the whole rotten system in one way or another in the next five to ten years.

Anonymous said...

Bwana D.C. where are you ufanye kazi mara moja?

Pambana na hawa fanya kelele na fujo ili wote watoke kwenya huu mkutano wa heshima na nidham.

Leo hii, nyote mko kwangu, tumewakaribisha, vishido hivo ni vya nini?

Wakazi wa Mvita hawataki fujo, migogoro, misukosuko wala uchochezi na siasa mbovu.

Mwarang'ethe said...

...what Kenya needs is not a reformation of the old establishment but a replacement of the whole rotten system in one way or another in the next five to ten years.

6/15/11 1:36 PM



The whole social, economic political order we have is based on LIES, DECEPTION and ROBBERY.

It cannot be reformed. Impossible. Anytime you try to reform it, the only thing you will get is more taxes and therefore, more social economic, political mess.

The only question is, having squandered the golden opportunity, do you think there is another chance in 1 or 2 generations to come? We doubt.

We doubt cos. when we listen and read what Kenyans think, with due respect, Kenyans have never understood what is the CAUSE/S of their mess.

As such, all they have come up so far, are DELUSIONS and ILLUSIONS.

Anyway, as Bob world say:

Yes you have got the wrong interpretation,
Mixed up with vain imagination

The lips of the righteous, teach many
But fools die for want of wisdom

DESTRUCTION of the POOR is in their POVERTY.

Anonymous said...

Excuse the digression, it seems as though I must have been out of the news loop after having gone off the grid for a week or so when the death of Edgar "2BOY" Zivanai Tekere occurred on 7th, June 2011.

Was it not mentioned somewhere somehow by somebody in the media that EZT "2BOY" was a son in law to the late Oginga Odinga? Which makes him a brother in law to Raila Odinga.

Well, I know Kumekucha is not into obituaries or eulogies, but i also know that the last thing "the principal campaigner for Mugabe's downfall"would have relished was a eulogy.

Anyway, there goes another freedom fighter, politician, nationalist and man who cost Kaburu Ian Smith and company a lot of sleepless nights.

May he RIP, although I would have wished Robert Mugabe to have gone eons before "the great elephant", Joseph Nkomo and EZT "2BOY".

Anonymous said...

"We know that ODM and one Raila Odinga need the Maasai and Samburu vote very badly as 2012 looms large in the background. Raila must be president come 2012 so who cares if Tobiko is corrupt?"

How did you guess? Safi-kama-pamba is as sordid as the flying toilets of Kibera.

Anonymous said...

The depiction of the evil monster called 2012 will bring about a number of unholy alliances and one huge Lernaean Hydra in our midst for the next ten years.

Anonymous said...

“Prepare for Tobiko as DPP mupende musipende… Mutado?” You were very right Chris. The MPs debated until late last night with Tobiko getting overwhelming support from the usual suspects who have pending cases in court. I can imagine sailing through of Tobiko is a big relieve to Kiraitu (Anglo Leasing), Ngilu (Water scandal), Kimunya (Grand Regency/hidden Cockar report)….. and many other corrupt fellows in the house. The circus continues.

Anonymous said...

On another note from a distance place, all goods thing must come to an end, a gradual end or an abrupt end.

I can't help but recall some individuals who went heads over heels, and others bottoms up when Prof Gilbert Bukenya was appointed the vice president of a neighbouring country.

He's name became a chip on some people's shoulders in Nairobi and in the diaspora due to past affiliations while he was residing in Nairobi.

Others used his name as a meal card or an ez pass whenever and wherever it was viable for them.

Keep in mind that these people are not even citizens or nationals of the country where he was the vice president for sometime.

Some used his name and political affiliation to access favours in Kenya, Africa, Europe as well as in North America.

There are Kenyans/... who were known to use Prof Bukenya's name in order to get a sports visas for their children and themselves so they could travel frequently to the former Eastern Block countries for tournaments and do business on the side.

The critics might ask, "who cares?" or say "it's none of your business" and rightly so, but I hope those who benefited from using his name and political office very so often, will not abandon the good professor in his hour of need or because he's no longer the vice president, "one of the powerful man (politicain) of a certain neigbouring country.

BTW, was Prof. Gilbert Bukenya dropped because his former boss feared that he might have greater political ambitions or was an eminent threat to the president's empire?

Anonymous said...

which did more damage with the approval of the declaration of Keriako Tobika by applause?

And the list goes on and on from ... Goldenberg, Anglo Leasing, Maize Scandals, Junk (mitumba) Military Fighter Jets imported from - LOL! - Jordan of all places, Grabbing of Cemetery land, scandals at the Immigration, Ministry of Education, Medicine scandals at the Ministry of Health, scandals at the Ministry of Tourism, Ministry of Water, Ports Authority, Drug Industry and Kenyan Cartels, KWS, et al ...

I couldn't agree more, the godfathers [,the Lords and Dukes of impunity] just pick new pawns and continue stealing ... huge amounts of cash. The kind of money that turns the tide in an election.

So, when the people's democartic voice is taken away, when the people's choice to elect their own representatives (without undue influence and corruption) is taken away, when the people's right to have a say in crucial matters that are bound to affect as well as determine their destiny, children's future, and the nation's well being, such as Keriako Tobiko's nomination and confirmation, etc is taken away or trampled upon by the wisefellas in politics,

then a nation is left with nothing more but civil disobedience, a very vigilant civil society, an overly angry and restless citizenry, a chaotic democracy and who knows what other undercurrents there mighty be taking shape in the general community or in the midst of people whose backs have been pushed so far against the familiar walls of impunity?

In a nutshell, the parliamentarians and their usual political cohorts should not continue to delude themselves into believing that they will get away with it in same manner their counterparts got away with it scot free during and after Moi's tyrannical governance.

Many of the current bad and compromised crop of politicians are bound to encounter their match and political end on the Waterloo battlefields of 2012, if not soon then later.

Anonymous said...

Aiseeeeee! Kwa kweli Kenya ina wenyewe. Jameni, yaani Sh4.6 billioni zilitoweka kutoka kwenye vipochi na wavi wa idara ya elimu.

Waziri Mkuu kasema kwamba, The country will only be developed 'if we can plug the loopholes and block the areas that allow pilferage and leakage of public funds because the pilferages are still too many'.

Ya ajaabu ni kwamba waziri wa idara hiyo ye elimu, Profesa Sam Ongeri bado yuko usukani akiendelea na shughuli zake kama kawaida na bila hofu yoyote yakufikishua mahakani punde hivi karibu.

Jameni, jeeh!, wananchi wanauliza kwamba, huyu Keriako Tobiko na wanasheria wenzake watawahi kuwashitaki pamoja na kuwafikisha mahakamani samaki mkizi wenye nguvu sawa na za mawaziri miongoni mwao wakiwa Sam Ngeri na wengineo ama hali ya uporaji wa mali ya umaa itandelea kuwa mtindo wa kawaida kama hapo awali?

Anonymous said...

Mr. Prime Minister, welcome, welcome and thanks for coming at such a short notice to straighten out one pending hurdle. There is a lot at stake as you already know by now, and that's why we would like you to know that if you support us, we who are gathered here tonight, in tomorrow's approval of Keriako Tobiko as the next DPP, we will do anything and everything possible in our regions and within our parties to ensure that you get the lion's share of the presidential votes in December of 2012. You have our word and our guarantee. Mr. Prime Minister don't worry about what the public's reaction will be, what some of them will say or publish after parliament has passed the motion. We are the ones incharge of such matters and we know what's best for our country. It's now or never. This is our only chance to take matters into our own hands and deliver as planned earlier on. We will have to work as team behind the scenes as always, and we would like to guarantee thee fact that Keriako Tobiko is very a loyal person and a good team player who can be counted upon to take care of his responsibilities when called upon. That's all I had to said on behalf of all the gentle gathered here tonight and here is our token of appreciation and a big thank you in advance because we know that you will do the right thing since December 2012 is knocking at our doors.

Anonymous said...

We don't need a reformed judiciary, we don't need a replacement of the current judiciary, all we need is a revolutionized judiciary and all of its officers. We can not afford to have judicial foxes roaming freely in the nation's chicken coop if we have any expectations of a just system.

Anonymous said...

Will someone tell General Keugoya that he had already broken the promises he made back in 2003 when he assured Kenyans that corruption would cease to be a way of life in this country?

Its too late to convince Kenyans that you care about the billions of shillings being embezzled in various ministries under your watch not just now but the past 10 years.

Kibaki doesn't want to ruin his legacy?mmmmmh!we know what is more important to him than leaving "a highly effective government defined by quality of services it offers to taxpayers" That can't be more important than making sure ICC does not convict Uhuru and Ruto before 2012

Anonymous said...

At this point you're wasting your breath talking to Emilio. The question is why the 'party of reforms' let this appointment sail through. The answers are simple. One, the Maasai votes to a party (ODM-R) that is increasingly typified by declining political fortunes and increasing exclusive membership of one angry, state-house-hungry community. Two, hedging bets just in case the one dangerous bumpkin makes it into state-house, he will have an ally to sweep his past and ongoing theft, violence and improprieties under the carpet.

Thus reform, for the party of reform, has two faces--one for the public, including their foreign masters, and the other more nefarious one aligns well with personal and party ambitions for power. So much for reform!

Anonymous said...

I hate to flog a dead horse, but I will step over it just to make sure that its underbelly is no longer habouring some signs of life.

Anyway, Kenyans can be very funny at times and also creative in how they deliver their funny jokes.

The name 'Keraiko ole Tumbako' will go a long way alongside Kigeugeu,
Bendera Upepo,
Mother Rarua,
Weakleaf (Tawi Hafifu),
Kamanda wa Kamata,
Hon. Watermelon aka Kichua Maji, Vipi Yes-yes wa No-no,
Litmus Orengo's Test (LOT), Minister Shadow Mapambano (MSM), Waziri Kitanda Uweli,
Mtu Uso,
Kilembe Sina,
Si Uite Kitanda,
Wee Tangulia,
Oh Bure Sana,
Petro Kinuthia (Kenethia),
Nyapara Paranya,
Babu Mwamba,
Ole Simama,
Si Rau ali Kweya,

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