Our Nigerian “Brodas” are world famous for their creativity but a scheme recently unearthed at the beginning of this month has left many Kenyans numb with shock.Somebody set up a factory and kidnapped girls between the ages of 15 and 17 and then got them pregnant and kept them captive until they gave birth. They were then paid off 25,000 Naira Kshs (14411.90) for a baby girl and 30,000 Naira (Kshs 17294.28) for a boy and told to get lost. The babies were then sold to desperate childless couples and to cults for sacrificing at prices of up to US$ 6,400 (Kshs 569,600) per unit.
Just calculate the profits this sick business idea was generating.
And that’s not all, the owner of the “factory” was a medical doctor. The Abia State Police arrested the proprietor of the organization known as Cross Foundation, Dr Hycinth Orikara and rescued at least 32 young expectant teenagers.
I have no words.
But on a funnier note the Standard newspaper’s Crazy Monday edition recently carried the following true story. I have not stopped laughing for the last 8 hours or so….
Man fakes suicide to woo back girlfriend
A man recently shocked his age mates in Tetu, Nyeri County, when he 'took poison' after his fiancée abandoned him in a matatu terminus.
The man had traveled with the woman from Nairobi to introduce her to his parents in Njoguini village.
But when the couple arrived in Nyeri town, the woman disappeared and could not be traced until the following day when she called to say she had decided to return to Nairobi.
The two met about six months ago during a family gathering at Nyahururu, where he was employed as a shamba boy. They had been communicating over mobile phone .
They then decided to visit the man’s family and declare their intension to marry. The man travelled to Nairobi to pick the woman. They shopped for items in Nyeri before boarding a matatu.
As the vehicle waited for more passengers, he excused himself to buy some items he had forgotten. When he went back, the girl was missing.
"He was assisted by matatu operators to search for her in vain," said a source.
The woman’s mobile phone was switched off.
He travelled to his rural home alone and informed his parents about the mysterious disappearance. At noon the following day, he received a phone call from the woman.
"She told him she did not want to be associated with him and they were mere friends," his friend told Crazy Monday.
Shocked, he picked some acaracides from the store and spilled it into a pit latrine and then raised alarm that he had consumed poison. His mother screamed attracting neighbours. Villagers hired a taxi to take him to a nearby hospital where he was admitted.
He pretended to be unconscious as medical personnel treated him.
He was still ‘unconscious’ by the third day in hospital. By the bedside, his mother asked friends to search for the woman’s number. At that moment, the man raised his voice saying, "Ndi nayo. Ni 0728... (I have the number. It is...)", he said and then went mute.
Efforts to call the woman were fruitless, since the mobile phone was switched off.
His friends talked to him and he revealed he lied about consuming poison to woo the woman back.
"He was later discharged and slapped with a bill of Sh60,000. It was hectic getting the money," said a source involved in raising the funds.
What is Moi's most guarded secret?
Chris are you on holiday ama vipi? You keep dishing out these posts like some popcorns!
ReplyDeleteLakini yenyewe for heaven's sake the guy on that Crazy Monday story is just a simple shamba boy- the lowest job description in the world- lower than a gravedigger.
Shamba boys are exploited by their employers and heavily underpaid since they are also given some leftover food which I find so inhuman.
In many cases, Shamba boys are forced to perform "extra- curricular" activities on sex hungry, bored and lonely housewives many who are widowed.
It many sound a bit gross but that's the truth which we don't want to admit as a society. It's akin to modern day slavery!
Let's remember this shamba boy had spent his life savings on shopping for some items in Nyeri. He had also used part of his fortune on bus fares and probably sambazad about sh 100 to this girl who later dumped him.
With the loss of all that money which happen to have been saved after many-many-many years of hard labour in the hot sun, this Kikuyu brother had to take some drastic action to get some sympathy.
I have been to very many parts of Kenya, even Africa, but there's nowhere people count their change after shopping more carefully than at the Slopes of Mt Kenya. even those big millionaires you read about, they count their coins very carefully I tell you. You know what they say: If you take care of the pennies, the pounds will take care of themselves.
I know love is blind and can make you do stupid things, but on this note, I want to believe it was his hard earned cash that made the Shamba boy do such a stupid, even laughable, thing such as faking his own death.
(I was once in love and after getting dumped, I hurled matusis at the girl, tore her sexy love cards full of cute poems, tore her photos and screamed I would never talk to her again yet today she's the 1st lady of the house..to be continued another day..)
A thousand bob may sound like little cash to some of us. We even spend more on one night out drinking ourselves stupid. But please note that can be someone's life saving. I have seen it in the papers people getting killed over a mere "stupid" 100 bob!
This is a very wicked business and I think its proprietor should be sent straight to gallows. I should also imagine the innocent girls were exposed to many risks as someone (most likely not a decent fellow) tried to make them pregnant.
ReplyDeleteChris, I would not be surprised at all if there are similar "mimba factories" already established on Kenyan soil as we speak.
ReplyDeleteNigerians are wise, for they have always wondered why some people in the west are still wasting millions of euros on trying to harvest test tube babies and in vitro, when mother nature is still generous with gifts of fertility, however ill gotten as they seem.
Money will induce people to engage in any venture as long as they are well rewarded. Two wrongs don't it right, but I suppose the young women were housed, fed, dressed and guaranteed some sort of rumeneration package after delivery.
As for T.I.B.S. who faked an attempted suicide, he deserved to be deserted by the cold footed lover who must have known and grown tired of his attention seeking antics.
O my gosh, it's amazing what some people will do to rekindle or try to sizzle a relationship that fizzled out.
Sh60,000 is not enough, the hsopital should have slapped with him with a Sh250,000 instead.
Then handed over to the nearest police station.
Come on Chris,
ReplyDeleteThis time you have gone too far!That explicit picture is too vivid and suggestive leaving little to the imagination!Even if its for the sake of writing a post TONE IT DOWN ABIT PLEASE
Chris, keep the hilarious and informative posts coming. Wachana na Luke, he who has a pot belly akin to that shown on this story coz of nyama choma and cheap beer. Has Luke seen that advert called 'Ya Mama Yambamba' urging breastfeeding? That has a real breast and some succulent nipple. Si aende azushie hiyo basi!!
ReplyDeleteI haven't laughed this hard for a very long time. The people in da office think I have gone berserk. Wewe Chris tone down the humour... will u employ me if I am fired?
ReplyDelete@M-Pesa,
ReplyDeleteI agree with your sentiments. We all make the mistake of sitting here on the WWW and talking as if Kenya is a fully developed country yet, just a stone throw away in Nairobi, we have women selling themselves for 20 bob a pop in Kibera.
Luka, nawe unashida gani na picha ya mama huyu mujamzito? Hata mama akiwa ana mimba bao unatamani, jameni.
ReplyDelete@7:51 PM
ReplyDeleteAmeeeeeni. Lest we forget the hundreds of MPs who have sold their birthright, constituents and country for a single bowl of goat soup or a calabash of porridge in the course of the last five decades.
Slavery has never ended. It is there in the West and the Arab world. It doesnt really matter what the slave is required to do.
ReplyDelete