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Sunday, March 21, 2010

One man guitar terror

Probably every family has a dark secret, but the truth is that some secrets are much darker than others. And I guess it is true that to understand a country well, one has to look more closely at the family unit. If you see corrupt governments, you can be sure that the families are worse.

There is actually so much rot in Kenyan families and this reflects in the kind of leaders we elect again and again and then turn round to complain later.

I guess I will start with the less emotionally draining stories in this post and then move on to the heavier stuff in the next.

There is this deadly thug who harasses residents of a well known suburb not too far from Nairobi. He has earned the nickname “one man guitar” because he always operates alone. This is unusual because most muggers anywhere in the world almost always operate in groups.

“One man guitar” usually waits for people in the dark and stands at a safe distance with a powerful torch. The only other thing the torch shifts to is the glimmering revolver he is usually carrying with him. There was a time that residents started suspecting that the gun he threatened his victims with was actually a toy. That was until this unfortunate lady fell victim to the thug. It is said that she had recently opened a shop in town selling the latest cell phones. The cell phones were pretty expensive and so every night when she locked up she would carry her small stock with her in her large handbag. So on this particular evening she got off the matatu at around 8 pm and started on the short walk to her house. The next thing she knew was that a powerful torch was focused on her face. The man behind the light asked her to surrender her handbag, all her cash and her cell phone. She froze. She then handed over her cell phone which she was holding in her hand but held tightly to her handbag. There was suddenly a very loud bang. Louder than she had ever heard before in her life. It took her a moment to realize that the thugs’ gun had gone off. Actually he fired into the ground. She promptly threw her handbag on the ground and ran for her dear life.

Now I have information that the family of “one man guitar” is very much aware of his criminal activities and yet have done nothing about it. Apparently the thug still lives with his parents and siblings. I mean this thug has been operating for a very long time, almost 10 years. And yet this well-to-do family has done nothing. They probably join other Kenyans in decrying the high crime rate in the country knowing very well that they have hidden a dangerous criminal in their midst. Some residents claim that a few years ago “one man guitar” actually killed somebody. If this is true, this family is also hiding a murderer in their home.

There is this other dark family secret that is now widely known in that family but is probably rampant in our country. Even as Kenyans scream at the top of their voices about being fed up with corruption, many of those Kenyans screaming loudest are working in a job that they obtained through corruption. Meaning they bribed somebody to get it.

Take this well known Nairobi couple. The wife has a reputation for being extremely bossy and the meek husband usually has to do what his wife wants or else… Now what everybody knows except the husband is that his wife who hails from a very poor family got her first big job in an interesting way. There was this rich man in an expensive car who paid a visit one evening (when her husband was still at work) and unfortunately was seen by a curious witness who noticed that the lights went off in the house shortly after they entered and he drew nearer and heard the unmistakable squeaking of a bed making noise, the kind of noise that would come from only one kind of activity.

Now this bossy woman has got an even bigger job than that initial one. Only God and the devil know if she repeated the same procedure to land this second job. I am certain many women (and even men, I know of at least one gay man who did the same several times) do this kind of thing all the time. It is very normal in Kenya and even elsewhere in the world. But in my humble view such people should shut up when discussion about corruption in government is going on.

P.S. The very latest is that “one man guitar” struck in the wee hours of the morning about 4 days ago. Seems that he is getting bolder now.

More dark family secrets that wiped out an entire family


Anonymous said...

I think from now on we should only let Mwarang'ethe post things on this blog. Complete Bullcrap from this fellow Chris.

Anonymous said...

Actually I have a suggestion, Mwarang'ethe, why do you do a piece on how we lower the interest rates that banks charge.

Anonymous said...

thank you for at least censoring today as always my concern is this is a popular and widely read family blog parents+children+househelps altogether sitting around the computer late at night reading Kumekucha and enjoying each others company and the blog

Even though the only one man guitar i know is Mike Rua of Mugithii fame, truly family values are lost today on the modern family.BTW Mike Rua is comparable maybe only to Tony Nyadundo and quite possible Kabasellah but lets also be gender sensitive and remember Princess July and Achieng Abura. These are true song minstrels forget about that Marley fellow every other person on this blog likes to quote

In conclusion Chris let us learn to enjoy our local music more and stop depending on Westerners/Caribbeans/other africans so much although i do admit i was impartial to a little San Fan Thomas and KandaB in my younger days but that is over now

Najivunia Kuwa Mkenya

Anonymous said...

Wewe wacha kutudanganya eyi unajivunia WALKING ALONE. Pole lakini.

We are the c.........(not yet but slowly coming there, utado?)

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