Bye Kofi Annan, Next Bring in Ocampo Please

Annan came, shouted himself hoarse and must leave now after accomplishing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. True, he may have saved Kenya from stewing in her own blood but Annan lost the plot when he chose to advance the interests of the so-called international community at our expense.

And lest he forgets, Annan has never been our friend. No wonder we bugged his hotel room last time he was here. You don’t do that to trusted friends. He has outlived his usefulness and must know when to quit.

Annan is living a lie by refusing to accept and appreciate our 90% reform pass grade. Instead he has shamelessly enjoined himself into our local pettiness so much so that he is know admonishing our DULY elected President’s public appointments claiming they are skewed. All posts are filled on MERIT, period. All else is cheap propaganda.

Appointments on merit
Patriotism and sovereignty are priceless assets which our forefathers lost their lives fighting for. Annan must know the futility and perils of attempting to babysit octogenarians.

Just like one loudmouthed Michael Renneberger, Annan will kiss the next available microphone and leave. And Moreno Ocampo coming after him is destined for the same fate. Kenya is for Kenyans and no amount of noise or pressure will make the landlords change their schemes to auction the remaining viable pieces.

Bye bye Annan, please pass the button to Prof Luis Ocampo and don’t forget to reminding him to breathe real fire and threaten smouldering brimstone too.

Hague Express: Heat is on, Goalposts Shifting

Parliament has been reigning supreme. They demanded Ringera's head and they got the Judge's scalp. MPs demanded The Hague. They reminded all and sundry not to be vague but instead choose The Hague. Well, prayer answered and so Hague here we come. But not just yet, we will board that jalopy to Netherlands at our own pace.

Obama can eat his heart and take care not to suffer constipation. Hit kite won’t fly and the balloon sent to us in the name of Kofi Annan is at the mercy of our sharp pins. It is such a huge shame for a whoole ex-UN boss to shamelessly stoop so low to an extent of criticizing our president on his EXECUTIVE appointments.

It is the height of pettiness for Annan to globalize our tribal governance. He needs to understand that Kenya is for Kenyans and only we can change at our own pace. The impressive report of 90% pass warrants appreciation. The accelerated judicial reforms will render Luis Moreno-Ocampo jobless and all his hitherto bravado will be irrelevant at best and hot air at worst.

Kofi Annan must have met a very different Martha Karua from the one he dealt with just a year ago. He can as well use that single sample to generalize our collective national propensity to deceit. The boot is in the other boot which reminds you of yesterday reform champions turned present day masters of impunity - it is our time to eat.

We are so dynamic as a country we change the goalposts as appropriate. Those who have been shouting themselves hoarse about The Hague are now staring the real prospect of joining Charles Taylor sooner than they imagined.

One wonders who the members of this so-called international community are. That red herring can paint itself all the rainbow colours but remain rest assured that Kenya will not give an inch, not even with Michael Renneberger’s loudmouthed gimmicks.

Babysitting octogenarians
We are so unique and enterprising as a country so much so that we can have IDPs parking four wheel SUVs outside their tents. To us every calamity is an opportunity and we need no MBA from Harvard to exploit an opportunity when we see one.

Our country remains an island of peace in a sea of chaos and those who think otherwise are living in DENIAL PARADISE. Nothing exemplifies our fledging democracy than the fractious coalition trading accusations. Who said the Permanent Committee on the Management of the Grand Coalition cannot reconvene after the Kilaguni fiasco?

Annan came and he will soon leave after the four-day holiday. Ocampo will follow and he too will leave. Meanwhile Kenya remains where they found it. We embarked on project Armageddon in 2007 which must be completed in 2012. We need total extermination so that Kenya can regenerate a fresh.

All other efforts amount to nothing but ego expansion gimmicks. Annan can not re-invent the wheel neither can he go against established natural order by attempting to babysit octogenarians.

Put simple, nobody is going to The Hague anytime soon. Let Annan ask Omar El Bashir.

Annan: We're Running, Don't Babysit Us Please

Kofi Annan has landed, breathing fire down our necks and ready to give a progress report for an examination we never sat in the first place. Unfortunately Annan's gloomy assessment is exclusively premised on misinformation and prediction of Armageddon. Otherwise he would readily accept the impressive distinction of 90% pass as graded by our own competent Alfred Mutua, PhD.

Dr. Annan is here but he must be reminded that Kenya is no toddler in need of babysitting. He played his part last February, we appreciated it and he now better learns never to attempt extending the handshake past the elbow.

The US would do themselves a great deal of good in accepting the basic truism that sanctions and threats never work as diplomatic tools. The Americans can keep their laser-guided sanctions to their political labs and spare Kenya uninvited lectures on good governance.

YES WE CAN reform ourselves and our country BUT at our own pace. We are sovereign and independent with a FLAG to boot. Just like we defeated the late Smith Hempstone during his nyama choma gimmicks packaged as advocating for multiparty, the activist Renneberger stands no chance to shake us as a country.

Kenya is no Somalia or Zimbabwe and one Johnny-come-lately Carson better learn to respect his ex-host. Invoking Obama’s name at the sight of every microphone will not make any difference-Kenya is for Kenyans, PERIOD. Michael better revise notes from the late Rogue Ambassador Smith who consorted with the likes of Kamau Kuria and Kiraitu Murungi then.

Laser-guided bans
We only have one centre of power and the presidency is our singular symbol of UNITY. Uhuru and Murage may have desecrated the hallowed grounds of State House by using it as a venue to plot Naivasha massacres but that does not make the legal tenant guilty by association.

President Kibaki was there and saw it all as an opposition politician. Renneberger’s antics amount to playing a melodious tune to a HE-GOAT, no dance nor nodding. Even the loudmouthed EU and Canada are welcome to jump into that expanded bin of irrelevance.

Make no mistake, we adopted multipartysm at our own pace and nobody can claim otherwise. The world has changed and America’s high handedness will only push us into PRODUCTIVE business with China and Iran. What is more, these fledging economies have plenty of resources and help to help Kenya realize v2030 in light years.

No country but Kenya can have reforms in the constitutional review, land, boundary, police and the Truth, Justice and Reconciliation Commission in less than a year. Add that to the on-going electoral reforms, judiciary, youth employment and National Cohesion and Integration Commission and you are staring an emerging AFRICA TIGER in the face.

The so-called international community needs new names to paint as faces of impunity. One Prof Alston may be showing his post molars in glee after Major Ali quit but that is it. AG Wako has served us diligently for 20 years and nobody is more qualified to be CJ than Gicheru. Sorry the guillotine must run on empty, no more heads.

We are miles ahead of the pack and deserve no patronizing lectures which only succeed in provoking our EXECUTIVE FOUL MOOD.

Hague Express: Paid-up Passengers Boarding

Who let the elephant (Moreno Ocampo) back into the house?Ticket holders in the name of supporters, funders, organisers and perpetrators of post election violence have today began the final leg of the journey aboard the train to the waiting jail cells at the Hague.

This must surely be Justice Waki's moment of triumph. Without a doubt, Waki's infamous list will be expanded, expounded and finally revealed. Nobody just wakes up one day and begins to hack their neighbour with a machete. The prosecutor must have found this point intriguing,leading him to declare that Kenya must be made a world example of managing violence

Deliberate, focused and impartial investigations will reveal that the ground is levelled and ripe for prosecuting both organs of state and spontaneous acts of ordinary criminality. surely justice delayed is not justice denied.

But wait a minute, we are independent and sovereign. True, we may be used to blackouts, floods and famine but still we have pride even after begging for alms. And who said you cant sink your teeth into the very hands feeding you? Welcome Prof Moreno, make the kings of impunity shake and dissolve inside their boots.

Ringera’s Reappointment: The Perfect Plan That Never Worked

Nothing fascinates me more than studying the decision-making process in the corridors of power. All through history we have seen the interaction between he-who-the-buck-stops-at-his-desk and their close advisors. Remember the case in the good book of the King’s advisor who committed suicide because his correct decision was not followed?

If I was to look at Kibaki’s administration and describe the decision-making process in one sentence I would say that this is the presidency of perfect plans that never worked out. Intelligence usually breeds arrogance and arrogance is deadly because it leads to lots of mistakes. That is why a wise man once said pride comes before a fall. Well the president is surrounded by some very intelligent chaps. Their undoing is that they are also some of the most arrogant folks the continent has seen since the days of King Shaka Zulu. And to make matters worse they are also tribalists. They “know” that their tribe is superior. When you “know” something there is no point debating about it. What for? Si you KNOW?

These fellows always come up with perfect schemes that sometimes end up hurting a lot of people. There are numerous perfect plans that have been hatched during Kibaki’s tenure but I will give just two. One is the perfect plan behind the hurried reappointment of Ringera and the other hurt the nation beyond repair. Let me start with the latter.

In the run up to the 2007 general elections intelligence reports clearly showed that President Mwai Kibaki would lose the election by a landslide. In fact some patriotic Kenyans in the intelligence community, knowing what was being hatched leaked some of these highly confidential reports and they were published all over the web.

Now “the perfect plan” was hatched. Hold the election results from some Mount Kenya constituencies until the very end. And then let the president win by a slim margin of say 200,000 votes. Kila mtu anajua wa-Kikuyu ni wengi, ongeza Wameru na waembu hapo na mambo kwisha (everybody knows that Kikuyus are many just add a few Merus and Embus there and everything will be fine).

These intelligent fellows knew that some people would not take such election results lying down so they sent a large contingent of riot police to Kisumu as the final touch to this “perfect plan.” You guys know what happened.

The “Ringera perfect plan” went like this. KACA holds some rather sensitive information about the Anglo Leasing scam. Anybody looking at it would NOT even need to be a lawyer to see that the trail leads right back to one man and one man alone. That man is Mwai Kibaki. Mwai Kibaki is Anglo Leasing. Even Chris Murungaru was a mere servant following instructions. And so this little parastatal called KACA, ironically established under the initiative of Mwai Kibaki himself is a cause for great concern amongst the president’s handlers. And so the perfect plan was hatched. Hurriedly re-appoint Justice Ringera and only one of two things will happen;

1. Parliament will make noise and finally accept the decision, narrowly (with a little prodding from the executive in the right places).

2. Parliament will reject the appointment and to derail KACA will with-hold funding, meaning that the operations of the anti-corruption body will grind to a halt indefinitely.

Either way the interests of the executive will have been achieved. To be honest the first time I heard about this plot (shortly after the re-appointment of Ringera) I was sure that it was going to work exactly as planned.

Well you folks know what happened. The unexpected happened. The president’s own loyalists turned against him and legislators from both sides of the house ganged up together to say “NO.” Uhuru Kenyatta was sent with some cash to distribute (which he did) but it had no effect on the final outcome. Some MPs took the cash and still voted with their conscience (although some simply stayed away from the house).

The good thing about this “perfect plan” is that only Ringera’s ego was badly hurt. However of great concern is yet another looming “perfect plan” being hatched for the Kibaki succession. I don’t know the whole plan yet (although I can guess) but it is already beginning to take shape with careful security and finance appointments. And as usual plenty of people will get hurt.

God save Kenya from “perfect plans.”

Below is a guest post from one of my top notch guest writers.


Out Goes The-Never-Was Draggon Slayer Ringera as The-Law-Breaker Kibaki Goes Scot Free!

By Guest Writer
Today’s lead story by the Standard reads: “What Ringera did not say was that he was a marked man, the writings were on the wall, and he could not even see the President on Tuesday because it seemed, he too, had given up on him. The hostility to the reappointment was beginning to cast the President in bad light . . . Sources revealed the President’s aides were reluctant to allow the meeting because it had leaked to the Press. The meeting would have cast the picture of a conspiracy between Kibaki and Ringera.”

My take is that the fate that befell Ringera is a wake up call to those we have entrusted with public offices. It’s time it dawned on them they are in office to serve their fellow citizen and not their godfathers. One may sleep on the job or cover up the dirty tracks of his/her powerful godfathers to suit their personal interests. But when the public tide turns against the officer, the cord linking the person to the godfather will definitely snap and the fall will be as thunderous and painful like that of Ringera.

If I was Ringera, I would have read the public mood from the onset and asked myself why Kibaki was so desperate to return me to office through the back door. I would have been candid and admitted I had not delivered as per the public expectations. Surely, the man earned Sh2.5 million each month for five years and tax payers pumped billions of shillings into KACC annually for its operations and not one head has ever been convicted over mega graft. Ringera only waves figures of Cabinet Ministers and other public officers he has investigated and recommended prosecution.

If I was Ringera, I would not sit in an office and see my bank account swell while the fruits of my work are not visible. There’s no doubt Ringera faired very poorly in investigations related to the Anglo Leasing and other scandals that touched on people close to Kibaki and Moi. Ringera served personal interests of Kibaki and Moi and that’s why Kibaki could break the law to keep him in office. Ringera frequently went to State House to meet Kibaki. For what? Isn’t he directly answerable to Parliament only as the law says? Have we ever heard him driving to Parliament to upgrade his employer (Parliament) on the progress he has made in the war against graft?

I admire Ringera for his brilliance and intelligence. But I pity him for making a fool of himself and opening himself to public ridicule for allowing himself to be used by Kibaki for his selfish motives and then get ditched when the stench became so much for Kibaki to bear. Kibaki has a reputation for use and dump.

On the other hand, the debate on Ringera shows how the Kenyan nation is made up of hypocrites. MPs who supported or bashed Ringera are no angels. Apart from all MPs – Kibaki and Raila included - refusing to pay taxes and taking a moral high ground in the wake of the Ringera saga, we know that corruption is oiled by politics. Almost every MP is in the so-called August House because they bribed voters with their ill-gotten wealth. You must be God’s sent angel to hit the campaign road in Kenya on empty pockets, campaigning on a platform of a clean name and impressive credentials, and win voters to your side.

A big number of our MPs are as corrupt as the majority of Kenyan voters. They bought their parliamentary seats and we sold them to the highest bidder. Other MPs – Cyrus Jirongo, Zakayo Cheruiyot, William Ruto, Ephraim Maina, Prof George Saitoti, Kiraitu Murungi, Musalia Mudavadi, just to mention a few – have been adversely mentioned in mega corruption under the Kibaki and Moi regimes.

Our Parliament is filled with looters, murderers and tribalists who can’t pass the moral test of how they made their wealth or made it to Parliament. The debate on Ringera in Parliament betrayed that. MPs who were unfortunate to see Ringera knocking on their doors questioning how they got their wealth or how their abused their offices fought hard to see him exit.

Raila Odinga, the self-proclaimed advocate of the poor Kenyans, is neither an angel as he has never cleared his name in the Kisumu Molasses Plant trade-in for dirty politics with Moi when he dissolved his NDP party to join Moi’s gravy train of looting Kenya.

The MPs should now ride on the same wave they set in motion and force themselves to pay taxes like the rest of us, drive Amos Wako and CJ Evans Gicheru out of office. As long as Kibaki and the cable of corruption remains intact, the war on corruption will remain a mileage and Ringera’s replacement will face the same hurdles. Will those MPs who were being investigated by Ringera sit back and allow his successor to continue with investigations or others will allow fresh investigations on themselves?

I admit I hold no monopoly for integrity or moral conscience. And I submit that none of the 222 MPs – including Speaker Kenneth Marende – and a majority of Kenyan voters hold that monopoly. We are all sucked into the corruption web and filth that has sunk Kenya into the hole we find ourselves in today. Who can cast the first stone he/she has never sought a bribe or offered a bribe to win a favour or escape the law or influenced decisions to their favour?

We are all chameleons like Amos Wako who play to the tune that pleases whoever is in State House. If Raila become President, we would see Wako swinging his loyalty to him overnight. Our collective moral conscience is seriously wanting and we have to collectively go back to the drawing board if we want to genuinely save Kenya. But we’ll all sink with our motherland due to our collective greed and ignorance and the chronic obsession with our ethnic cocoons. The Ringera debate has largely argued and won on the basis on political, tribal inclinations and personal interests. Few have the interest of Kenya at heart.

While the Ringera saga has consumed the energies of MPs and ordinary Kenyans, blaming the dragon slayer for all manner of evils (real and imagined), I hold a different view. The saga exposed the selfish man that is Kibaki. He exposed Ringera to public ridicule and hatred and then sat back in State House to enjoy the man’s name and reputation being torn to shreds. Why should the Standard pretend to look like Kibaki’s apologists? Hammer Kibaki for his evils and stop painting him to look like an angel.

Although Ringera shares some blame for accepting an illegal re-appointment, MPs and Kenyans should have equally turned their guns on Kibaki. Kibaki broke the law in bypassing the advisory board and Parliament in re-appointing Ringera but all anger was directed at Ringera leaving Kibaki to walk scot free with his evils. What will stop him from driving Kenya into another senseless drama?

It’s under Kibaki’s reign that Kenya almost became another Somalia over the flawed 2007 Presidential polls. There are conflicting theories that both Kibaki and Raila fiddled with results in their political backyards. If that was not the case, why did they agree to share power if each knew he had won legally? Those who disagree with that view can argue it to their graves. I believe Kibaki and Raila are not angels and I would not put my life on the line for any of them. They are a curse to Kenya and that’s why we went into mayhem chopping each others hands and heads to put them into powerful offices. Those who worship and lick the bottoms of the two men with their tongues should answer this: Does Kibaki and Raila suffer like the rest of us or aren’t they driven by personal greed?

Martha Karua is another Kibaki. We know the role she played in Kibaki’s “WIN” triggering a bloodbath in Kenya and now she seizes every moment to fool our imaginations why she is God’s gift for Kenya as Kibaki’s successor! The media and foreign missions in Kenya seem to have been fooled. If Samuel Kivuitu and his ECK team were demonized for overseeing flawed elections, where does that leave the likes of Kibaki, Raila, Karua and all the 222 MPs?

The best thing God can do to save Kenya for us and future generations is to speed up the Hague Train so that Kibaki, Raila, Karua, Ruto and all those who think they own Kenya or have a monopoly of violence and impunity can answer for their sins. When that happens, we’ll know we are all equal before the law. We’ll learn to respect each other despite our tribal backgrounds. This will give us an opportunity to sit down like equal partners and agree to move forward like civilised creatures not primitive creatures who kill each other for politicians who care little about us.

Ringera's Head Off, Next Scalp Please!

The dragon slayer fell headlong on his own sword. The sharp blades happily kissed his shiny skull. Shakespeare was lost for words. It was a paradigm shift when hitherto bravado conveniently metamorphosed into evangelism. The crestfallen Aaron was a lion both fatally wounded and thoroughly drenched.

But wait a minute, no false jubilation claiming triumph of people's power. Not just yet unless you are politically naive. Kenya has its owners mark you.

Ringera did his part and saved the regime at its most trying moments. What is more, re-election came and went and the rest is history. All the explosive deals have been safely tucked in secure vaults awaiting appointment of a replacement with the right GENES to take the reigns of KACC. Forget about all the noise from the loud MPs.

Bravado readily transforms itself into evangelism in diffult moments. You only write Ringera's epitaph at the risk of overfeeding on humble pie. He was the face of the discredited radical judicial surgery. Well, he may have suffered the pain of blunt scalpel now but the silver headed Justice is headed for greater things. What with 150m guaranteed with no sweat broken?

Clever gimmicks
Expect an artificial crisis with dual objectives soon-to mask Aaron's departure and create a smokescreen for the rulers to regain the apparent lost political ground. It is typical Kenyan mentality to selectively praise and condemn with expediency as the ultimate goal.

Look no further than this blog where faceless apologists will shamelessly divert attention by violently attacking the messenger while conveniently evading the message. Well, such old tricks stand no chance in hell just like the present rulers scheme using templates of yore to emasculate Kenya.

MPs must not be fooled into chest thumbing. With impunity personified in the two faces of ever-smiling Wako and the Chief Justice, the rag will be speedily pulled under their feet. As the old bad guy movie's signature goes NOBODY MOVES NOBODY GETS HURT. We haven't seen the last moves from our landlords. NA BADO.