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Friday, January 30, 2009

Open Letter To Kofi Annan

Hi Kofi,

First of all, I would like to ask for your forgiveness. I think we Kenyans have mastered the art of disturbing you in your retirement slumber much too often. But kindly sir, please realize that the following weeks are crucial to our survival as a nation of integrity; however little of which we have left. You see, we have reached the crossroads my friend. Turning left will lead us to an inconsequential special tribunal. Turning right takes us to the continuation of dilapidating impunity meted upon us by our politicians. We cannot dare turn backwards because that’s the path to sure hell. It’s clear our only redeemable option is moving forward i.e. directly to The Hague….at breakneck speed.

Now, your travels are vast and your life experiences supersede many, however, I’m sorry to say, you haven’t seen nothing yet until you have traded your space with a local mwanaichi. Only then will you understand what it means to get it in the place where the sun don’t shine. You see my friend, we are being held in bondage by a cadre of politicians armed with the power to raid our tax payer funded exchequer for the sole purpose of their own self preservation. The plight of the common man has never featured in the political agendas of these mosquitoes masquerading as MPs. I tell you buddy, if all our politicians died today and went to their designated chambers in hell, Lucifer himself will be filing for bankruptcy within a few days. Indeed, there will be an economic crisis in the underworld.

Kofi, Kenyans are tired and possibly defeated. We are immensely convinced that the vector towards Kenya’s prosperity is not pointing at Parliament Buildings; especially if it continues to house MPs who are magnificently deficient in everything that makes a good human being…..let alone the radiance of decency, integrity and legitimacy emanating from State House.

But let me update you on what they are trying to force feed us this time around. Let me give you a synopsis of the beast. Have you ever seen a congregation of drunken hyenas marching towards the lions den? Well my friend, that spectacle begins with the proposed special tribunal to try post-election violence suspects. Unfortunately for Kenyans, the lions in this case, are perpetually sky high on marijuana. Yes Kofi, it will be an all night political dance. The whole exercise is an opportunity to reward their friends with plum contracts as they boogey away the blood of the innocent lives lost in consequence of our embarrassing elections. It will be a pompous fraternity party holding court at the executive boardroom of the Laico Regency Hotel. While we have not been invited, we have seen this dance before. As we speak, there’s a stranger in the cabinet.

But you Kofi, yes you, can help us…. unless of course the Waki envelope contained a thick wad of notes of varied denominations. I think you understand where I’m going with this. Although you may have had a few hiccups here and there in your public service career, we know you as a man of impeccable propriety and decorum. It is in that consideration that we ask you to take the next available flight to the Netherlands. Please do this in solidarity with the people of Kenya.

Now we know too well that your delivery of that envelope to The Hague will not solve all our problems; but it will be the beginning to the end of impunity. After all, we are dealing with a flock of scavenging vultures who will continue stealing and causing mayhem even with a noose around their necks. Talk about the condemned to die stealing the hangman's rope. I’m sure they have sent emissaries to beg for extensions; but we ask that you refuse to listen. They will ask you what the point is in airing Kenya’s dirty linen in public for the world to see. To that I ask, what do you do when your little son messes the bed linens? Must you not put them out to dry? In Kenya, we have been housed in a dingy hut with no windows…and a lot of dirty linen. It is time for fresh air.

Kenya’s destiny must no longer be charted by a class of conmen with the least regard of our wellbeing.

Please pass my regards to your family.

Frustrated Kenyans.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Kenyans destiny will be charted by KENYANS once they start doing a little less of whining actually ACT to bring about change.

UrXlnc said...

we also need to start thinking bigger and well beyond our borders

this is the sort of picture line for (east) africa

http://www.nation.co.ke/sports/athletics/-/1100/522066/-/t2n82bz/-/index.html

celebrating our victories, embracing our challenges and acknowledging others who may be equally gifted and/or sometimes even better

5th Estate said...

STOLEN PRESIDENCY
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/31/world/africa/31kenya.html?pagewanted=1&_r=1&hp

Anonymous said...

And guess who the facilitator of the electoral circus was - surprise surprise ..... Mr. Ranneberger

joe the choma man said...

"Kalo" aka Kalamari,
come on you guys!!how comes no one is writing an open letter to Dr.Raila or Dr.Kibaki or the people of kenya e.g. like the 1500 dead PEV victims, or poor starving mama Ethuuko Nangole or even the tragic Nakumatt 47?

these expedient letters of yours and Chris are nothing but an attempt to hoodwink Kumekuchans into believing kenya's destiny lies in the hands of those people out there and not mere rain catchers like "Samo" Sam Okelo, or philanthropic men like Taabu and Phil and the rest of us

one day, just one day please i would like to see an open letter addressed to the hundreds of street boys or mama mbogas or ex freedom fighters and their families to give them hope all the way from the internet

Vikii said...

Kalamari, I am sure your friend, Kofi, has heard you loud and clear. you know I envy your easiness with this jamaa. He speaks very highly of you too. Did you guys play beer pong together? Did you get him really fucked up?

Anyway, I do not have a strong opinion o the things you are trying to get your friend's attention on. I gotta tell you this though; Solutions to our problems do not lie with Mr. Anan, they lie elsewhere.

Anonymous said...

Could you open an online petition to Annan?

Anonymous said...

A NEIGHBOURS HISTORY
Persecution of ethnic and other groups
Amin retaliated against the attempted invasion by Ugandan exiles in 1972 by purging the army of Obote supporters, predominantly those from the Acholi and Lango ethnic groups.[26] In July 1971, Lango and Acholi soldiers were massacred in the Jinja and Mbarara Barracks,[27] and by early 1972, some 5,000 Acholi and Lango soldiers, and at least twice as many civilians, had disappeared.[28] The victims soon came to include members of other ethnic groups, religious leaders, journalists, senior bureaucrats, judges, lawyers, students and intellectuals, criminal suspects, and foreign nationals. In some cases entire villages were wiped out.[29] In this atmosphere of violence, many other people were killed for criminal motives or simply at will.[30] Bodies floated on the River Nile in quantities sufficient to clog the Owen Falls Hydro-Electric Dam in Jinja on at least one occasion.[31]

The killings, motivated by ethnic, political and financial factors, continued throughout Amin's eight-year reign.[28] The exact number of people killed is unknown. The International Commission of Jurists estimated the death toll at no fewer than 80,000 and more likely around 300,000. An estimate compiled by exile organizations with the help of Amnesty International puts the number killed at 500,000.[10] Among the most prominent people killed were Benedicto Kiwanuka, the former prime minister and later chief justice; Janani Luwum, the Anglican archbishop; Joseph Mubiru, the former governor of the Central Bank; Frank Kalimuzo, the vice chancellor of Makerere University; Byron Kawadwa, a prominent playwright; and two of Amin's own cabinet ministers, Erinayo Wilson Oryema and Charles Oboth Ofumbi.[32]

In 1977, Henry Kyemba, Amin's health minister and a former official of the first Obote regime, defected and resettled in Britain. Kyemba wrote and published A State of Blood, the first insider exposé of Amin's rule.

In August 1972, Idi Amin declared what he called an "economic war", a set of policies that included the expropriation of properties owned by Asians and Europeans. Uganda's 80,000 Asians were mostly from the Subcontinent born in the country, whose ancestors had come to Uganda when the country was still a British colony. Many owned businesses, including large-scale enterprises, that formed the backbone of the Ugandan economy. On 4 August 1972, Amin issued a decree ordering the expulsion of the 60,000 Asians who were not Ugandan citizens (most of them held British passports). This was later amended to include all 80,000 Asians, with the exception of professionals, such as doctors, lawyers and teachers. A plurality of the Asians with British passports, around 30,000, emigrated to Britain. Others went to Australia, Canada, India, Pakistan, Sweden, and the U.S.[33][34][35] Amin expropriated businesses and properties belonging to the Asians and handed them over to his supporters. The businesses were mismanaged, and industries collapsed from lack of maintenance. This proved disastrous for the already declining economy.[23]

kenyaone said...

Joe, theres no point of an open letter to anyone in this government or any leader in kenya for that matter. Anon .739pm, that would be a nice one. I wish Chris could somehow find a way to set up that link. Meanwhile this post is the most accurate i have ever seen on Kumekucha. This is exactly what is going on. and the description of the kenyan political elite and what they think of us is spot on.....

'Let me give you a synopsis of the beast. Have you ever seen a congregation of drunken hyenas marching towards the lions den? Well my friend, that spectacle begins with the proposed special tribunal to try post-election violence suspects. Unfortunately for Kenyans, the lions in this case, are perpetually sky high on marijuana. Yes Kofi, it will be an all night political dance. The whole exercise is an opportunity to reward their friends with plum contracts as they boogey away the blood of the innocent lives lost in consequence of our embarrassing elections. It will be a pompous fraternity party holding court at the executive boardroom of the Laico Regency Hotel. While we have not been invited, we have seen this dance before. As we speak, there’s a stranger in the cabinet'.

b-carotene said...

Why not remind Koffi Annan not to screw any other country up--what is this stupid contraption of a "coalition government" he and his paymasters visited upon Kenyans??
Rwanda is still fresh in our minds too.....

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